Michael Pereira's journey from corporate traveler to autism advocate began when his son Christian started showing developmental concerns around his first birthday. Like many parents, Michael and his wife initially struggled with denial – a phase he now recognizes was rooted in focusing on their own feelings rather than their child's needs. "The extent of denial reflects the extent of selfishness," Michael shares with remarkable candor, explaining how acceptance finally allowed them to move forward and create real solutions.
The turning point came when COVID temporarily halted Michael's 80% travel schedule, revealing how his son's symptoms improved with his consistent presence. When travel resumed, Christian's difficulties with transitions, head-banging behaviors, and communication regressions returned, ultimately leading to his autism diagnosis. Rather than immediately seeking external support groups, the family chose to strengthen their internal bonds first – a powerful reminder that healing journeys aren't one-size-fits-all.
What makes Michael's story particularly valuable is how personal challenge transformed into purpose. Frustrated by financial advisors who couldn't address special needs planning without trying to sell products, he created The Autism Voyage, a resource helping families navigate everything from early diagnosis to financial security. His comprehensive approach focuses on three critical areas: income protection strategies, using life insurance to fund special needs trusts, and long-term care planning – protections many families don't realize they need until it's too late.
Beyond practical advice, Michael offers profound wisdom about balancing the needs of both his children (Christian with autism and three-year-old Amanda), choosing positive mindsets daily, and embracing discomfort as necessary for growth. As former IBM CEO Ginni Rometty wisely noted, "Growth and comfort cannot coexist." For anyone navigating unexpected challenges in parenting or life, these words and Michael's lived experience offer both comfort and courage to move forward.
Michael Pereira, Founder of The Autism Voyage®, helps parents of special needs children navigate financial and life-planning challenges. As a financial professional focusing on insurance planning, and autism dad himself, Michael knows firsthand how critical it is to have a proactive plan in place. His mission is to bridge the gap between insurance strategies and real-life challenges, empowering families to secure their future with confidence. No one understands the challenges, wins, and fears quite like another parent walking this path.
- Website: www.TheAutismVoyage.com
- Instagram Personal: https://www.instagram.com/autismdrivendad/
- Instagram TAV: https://www.instagram.com/theautismvoyage/
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Candace Patrice (00:05):
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing,where I am your host, Candace
Patrice, and, joining me, asalways, my lovely, lovely,
lovely mother, janet Hell.
Janet Hale (00:24):
Hello mother.
Well, she got an accent andeverything this morning.
Good morning, good morning,good morning.
Candace Patrice (00:32):
And we also have a lovely, lovely guest
today.
Michael is with us today.
Hello Michael, how are you?
Michael Pereira (00:41):
Hello, hello.
Thank you so much for having meExcited.
Candace Patrice (00:44):
Yes, yes, absolutely, we are you, hello,
hello.
Thank you so much for having meExcited.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
We are excited to have you here, excited to touch on some
different areas today than wehave in the past and hearing a
new journey of recovery, healingjust your journey.
Would you tell us a little bitabout yourself today?
Michael Pereira (01:07):
Of course, of course.
So, michael Pereira, here I'mthe founder of the Autism Voyage
.
Everything started I would saya couple, this initiative
started a couple of years ago.
So let me just long story short, let me see if I can reframe
this in a way that it's notoverwhelming.
So I came from corporatetraveling, I would say, 80% of
(01:33):
the time never home.
That was the pace for 10 years.
And upon that lifestyle met mywife and we wanted to do our own
American dream.
So we got married, bought ahouse and got pregnant with our
first child, Christian Omar.
And around when he was, I wouldsay, one year old, we started
seeing symptoms that we knewthat needed to be addressed.
(01:56):
But I would say, as themajority of the parents, we were
in denial.
We were in denial and thatdenial phase was some time.
So we obviously, between thatand listening to family, I would
say that in some cases, hey,don't worry, he doesn't have
anything.
You were the same thatobviously procrastinates early
(02:19):
intervention, right.
Luckily for us, he was so youngthat, even though if we tried,
you know I would say it's notthat accurate but COVID came by,
was able to stay here, notravel, a lot of those symptoms
reduced, don't know why.
But then when COVID releasedthat, I started traveling again.
(02:39):
I think that that's where allthe symptoms returned, because
he wasn't good with transitions.
So a lot of hitting his headagainst the wall, tippy-toeing,
aligning stuff.
He was nonverbal.
Then he started talking alittle bit, but then he
regressed.
So we knew that at one point weneeded to address it.
(03:01):
We were able to get himdiagnosed.
Point, we needed to address it.
We were able to get himdiagnosed.
And that's where, I would say,comes the real story of how the
blog was created.
I started looking for otheremployers to see if I can do the
same thing but travel less.
Couldn't find it.
And at the same time I startedto look for financial advisors,
(03:23):
planners, and everybody justwanted to sell me something or
recruit me.
Nobody really knew how to talkto me about special needs, trust
, guardianships, power ofattorneys, how you can use life
insurance to fund the specialneeds, trust if needed.
And we became very frustratedand we just say, okay, I already
(03:44):
was in financial services.
So we said, let's see if we canhelp families like ours.
We tried other things but weended up in special needs and we
developed a blog that basicallycaters to a lot of topics.
Any parent going through earlydiagnosis, post diagnosis would
(04:04):
ask themselves.
So I hope it wasn't too much,but that's basically it.
Candace Patrice (04:10):
No, no, that's awesome.
I have it made my brain want toask questions.
But before I start jumping intothe questions, I just want to
do a quick check-in and see howyou're doing today.
How have you been?
How's the week been?
Michael Pereira (04:26):
Oh, good, good, good, Everything's good.
I think that it's good becausewe decide it's good, right?
We usually parents in thespecial needs community.
Whoever's listening knows thatwe're always in survival mode
and obviously you decide how youwant to react to a lot of
(04:48):
things that go on in theday-to-day basis, because
there's a lot of ups and downsNot in a bad way, but so many
mixed emotions because you don'tknow if they're going to call
you from the school, you don'tknow if he's going to like what
you cooked, so forth.
So I think everything's good.
But it's because we decided andobviously we leave everything
in God's hands.
Candace Patrice (05:08):
Nice, I love that.
Mom.
How are you doing today?
Janet Hale (05:12):
I'm doing really good and I really appreciate the
things that say your name,michael, michael, michael, okay,
I'm sorry, but I reallyappreciated what he, what the
things that he mentioned and theself-care that he and his wife
took in their own hands, and Ithink that most of us, whether
(05:35):
we're dealing with special needsor not, need to take heed to
that, because we are in this ratrace of life.
If we choose to be, I love thatwhen we choose to be.
So, for me, and how I'm doing,is that I'm choosing to kind of
step back and relax a littlemore, not get caught up in the
(05:56):
people pleasing and how muchmoney can I make?
And let me hurry up and do thisand I got to have.
No, I do not.
What I need is what I lovedabout what you and your wife did
was sit down, take time out andlet me become the most
important person, and if I hadchildren that were in the home,
(06:16):
that would be the you know, thesame sentiment.
So I really appreciated whatyou said and it touched me in a
certain kind of way, you know,thank you, thank you, thank you
for that.
Candace Patrice (06:29):
I also like that, the taking time, and I
think even without havingspecial needs children, we still
have to choose to have a goodday.
We have to choose that Inmental health.
It's important for everyone tolook at themselves and say you
know what.
I'm going to make a decision,no matter what happens.
Today's a good day and if it'ssomething that interrupts or
(06:53):
doesn't look like what youexpected it to look like it's,
how do I use that for my good.
You know how do I turn thataround.
I had a birthday, april 2nd, 37.
I'm excited, but I chose to sitdown for my birthday alone.
I went and got me a hotel roomfor two days and I was alone.
(07:16):
It was while my daughter waswith her father, so it didn't
take away from my parenting time.
Um, I took two days off workand I treated myself to
Benihana's.
I went to the movies, I went tothe mall I had.
The manager gave me freebreakfast on my birthday that
morning, so I had out to TexasRoad or took us out to Texas
Roadhouse on my birthday.
(07:48):
So you know that sitting downand sitting back and relaxing is
, and making that decision is soimportant.
And also, you know, I hear, Iheard you say you know, with
special needs, you never knowwhat his temperament is going to
be, if he's going to like thefood that you cooked.
Well, guess what?
Me either.
I thought about that.
Janet Hale (08:09):
Yeah, I was like special needs and everyone else.
I might wake up and not likewhat I'm doing, okay, and I'm in
the house all alone.
You know I have to deal withall these things alone, 100
percent how old is your um, yourson?
Michael Pereira (08:32):
well, you have more than you have two children
yeah, yeah, yeah, christian he's, he just turned seven and
amanda she's three oh nice, how,uh, what's the dynamic like
between the two of them?
Candace Patrice (08:43):
because, because, what's his name?
Christian?
Michael Pereira (08:45):
Christian.
Candace Patrice (08:46):
Christian is the the special needs kid,
correct?
Michael Pereira (08:49):
He has autism, yeah.
Candace Patrice (08:50):
Yeah, how do they, how do they maneuver
together?
Michael Pereira (08:56):
I, amanda, has been a blessing for him, I would
say, because I would say he hada one point, because I would
say he had a one point hit.
Let me see how I can say thisEven though he's seven, in
reality, he has an attitude offive or four I mean so does all
of us at one point, yeah exactlyyou and me.
(09:18):
So it came to a point thatAmanda is like almost from a
developmental standpoint.
You know he gets along with her, he follows, you know her lead
a lot of during the day whenthey're together.
But it's a really good dynamicbecause, again, I think that
(09:38):
when I say decided, we here as afamily unit, here as a family
unit, we try to incorporate abalance between raising a child
on the spectrum and a childwho's not on the spectrum and we
don't treat one more specialthan the other one, we try to be
(10:02):
equal so they can feel thatboth of them are treated equally
.
And one of the things thatwe've seen, for example, even
though Amanda has been ablessing for Christian in
regards to behavior, they playtogether.
Now Amanda, on her side, webelieve that, for example, she
needs speech because Christianat one point was nonverbal.
So she was nonverbal becauseshe didn't have anybody to
(10:23):
practice with.
So in that extent, now she'staking speech therapy because we
believe, again, there's a lotof factors to go there, but
she's three and she still isstruggling from from a speech
standpoint.
And we believe, again, it'sbecause christian started
talking a couple, I would say, ayear and a half ago yeah and
(10:43):
when I say talking just a couplewords, because it's still not
conversational, so you know.
but it's a really, really gooddynamic because, again, we're
trying to some way somehow besupportive but at the same time
trying to focus on the strengthsof each one at its most.
Candace Patrice (11:03):
You know, I hear that and I think what a
blessing it is that they haveyou guys to even want to take
action, like she's not diagnosedwith anything and you're still
like, but I want to make surethat you're okay.
So we're going to get you inspeech therapy because that's
what we believe is best for you,not what everybody else
(11:23):
believes and what they think.
And, like you said in thebeginning, you know, listening
to family kind of created adelay.
Listening to others created adelay, but now it's.
You know, I see things, I cando it my way or, you know, your
family's way, and doing that is,I think, so great.
And I think that I've beenwatching the Good Doctor.
(11:46):
I was going there, candace, meand my mama Binging the Good
Doctor.
Actually, I just started seasontwo, by the way, ma.
Janet Hale (11:55):
Okay.
Candace Patrice (11:58):
And I think that she will have an advantage
in life being able to maneuverautism and just and anyone in
general, because she has abroader perspective, and I
remember, on one of our otherpodcasts talking about diversity
(12:21):
, equity and inclusion and howwe don't think of certain things
because we're not in thesituation and by her being in a
dual situation, it broadens herhorizon for inclusiveness, you
know.
So great job, that's all Greatjob.
Michael Pereira (12:41):
And even though , again, christian is very
functional, but you know, she'slearning a lot from him as well.
So we're excited, we're excited.
But I think this you know, whenI say decide, when we decide to
have a good week, when wedecide, I think everything came
about in the acceptance phase.
(13:03):
That changed, you know, becausewe can be in denial and what
I've learned is just being indenial just reflects how selfish
I am, and because I'm onlythinking about what I think,
what I feel, what I thought, andthat as long as, for example,
(13:23):
the extent of the denial justreflects the extent of your
selfishness.
When we got into the acceptancephase, it was okay, that's fine
, nothing's happened.
We're just going to be moresupportive.
This is it.
I'm okay, he's okay,everybody's okay.
Now it's a different mindset.
It's about more acceptance,more being adaptable, being
(13:48):
flexible.
Understand that you can controlonly what you can control and
just be, be that.
But I think that I'm talking toyou today, but it's been six
years, that ups and downs, inthe dark moments, in the high.
So anybody who's hearing it,even though it sounds good,
because I'm saying after sixyears in the, in the trenches,
(14:09):
what I would say is that myswitch was in the acceptance
phase.
Just accept, whatever yourlifestyle, whatever's happening,
just accept it and see it as anopportunity, not a victim, and
understand that that it that itaffects other people, not just
(14:29):
only you.
So that's it.
Janet Hale (14:31):
May I weigh in?
Okay, go ahead, and I waslistening.
And what's your oldest child'sname?
Michael Pereira (14:39):
Christian.
Janet Hale (14:40):
And how him, entering into the space, created
a healing for everyone in thathome.
And the reason why I say thatis because he is the one who
unlocked what you said, thedenial phase.
He's the one who unlocked thedenial, you guys being more
self-aware.
(15:00):
He is the one who brought allthe things to open up the
universe.
And you know, when we can lookat like you said, we can look at
a situation I could bedevastated, or I could say you
know what?
And you made me think ofsomething.
Everybody that listens to thispodcast knows I'm in recovery,
(15:20):
and so one of the prayers is God, grant me the sovereignty to
accept the things I cannotchange right, to give me the
courage to change the things Ican right and the wisdom to know
the difference.
And he brought the wisdom tothe equation, from what I hear,
which is awesome, you know, andit's really about cracking
ourselves wide open, becausethat's what he I don't know I'm
(15:43):
talking.
Michael Pereira (15:43):
You're probably like that's not what happened,
but it sounds that way no no,but it is at the end of the day.
I think everybody goes throughthis phase in any situation in
life.
I've seen, for example, parentsthat I know not that I know
because I'm not a medicalprofessional but you can tell
that the child needs help andthey haven't looked for the help
(16:05):
and they're in denial and thekid's already nine, 10.
And you're like, oh my God,what's happening?
It's going to be very difficultand when you talk to him, it's
completely in denial.
And that's where I say that'sbasically your definition of
selfishness, because the kid isnine, ten, he's struggling,
(16:25):
You're seeing it and you're onlythinking about yourself, how
you feel, and the only one who'sgetting affected is the child.
Right, but this can apply inevery, I would say in.
Everybody's has their ownissues and as long as you're in
denial, you're just thinkingabout your benefit, the way you
feel.
And I would, you know,recommend anybody who's going
(16:48):
through a denial phase to justyou know, even if you're in the
like I was, or my wife at 2 amlooking for information because
we didn't want to talk toanybody just understand that
you're not alone, that if you'regoing through anxiety or
whatever uncertainty, you're notalone, that if you're going
through anxiety or whateveruncertainty, you're in the right
place, because that's thesymptoms that everybody in
(17:09):
denial goes through.
Candace Patrice (17:12):
I have a scripture I want to give you,
because I heard you speak aboutGod.
Janet Hale (17:18):
And we're foundation of wisdom.
Candace Patrice (17:29):
Knowledge of the Holy One results in good
judgment.
I mean that's Proverbs 9, 10.
Relationship, possibly with God, resulted in that good judgment
to give you that wisdom andknowledge to be able to move
forward in the best way for yourfamily.
(17:50):
But I want to ask a questiontoo.
You mentioned that it soundsgood now, but it wasn't always
like this.
For the relatability of thelisteners, would you share with
us a little bit about those darktimes?
(18:11):
Yeah, of course.
Michael Pereira (18:13):
Like it's.
Let me see, you know, waking upat 2 am, your child's hitting
his head against the wall.
At that moment it's like, okay,what's happening?
It's a very dark moment becauseyou're saying is this going to
be long term?
Is this going to be somethingthat's a phase that's going to
(18:36):
go out?
Is it going to get to a pointthat it's going to hit him
himself so hard it's going to beinjured, and it gets to a point
that it's going to hit himhimself so hard it's going to be
, you know, injured.
And it gets to a point that youthen become overprotective.
You, you know there's a lot ofthings that happen there.
Uh, we were a long time withoutgoing out to a restaurant
(18:56):
because obviously, he, he hadsome.
Just as an example, let's say,just going out to the mall and
going to the public bathroom,those blowers to dry their hands
.
From a sensory perspective, hedidn't.
It was a meltdown there, orjust a blender here my wife blew
drying her hair.
There were a lot of momentsthat, you know, it may sound
(19:21):
simple, or, oh, that's fine,nobody.
In reality, for us it was okay.
When is this going to beexhausted from him, you know?
Or is this becoming each time.
It's going to be a heaviermeltdown, right.
But what we did is okay, let'ssee what we can do.
We started doing more activities.
(19:42):
We took away the tablets, wetook away tvs, we started um to
see how we can incorporate himinto sports, like, for example,
we got him first in soccer.
He didn't work because he hadsomething called elopement.
Elopement is when he just runsaway without any consequence and
(20:02):
and in an open field.
In soccer, believe me,elopement was there, so it
wasn't good.
Then we got him into swimming.
He saw it more as a play dateand didn't really learn how to
swim.
So we then said, okay, what canwe do?
That's closed.
But at the same time he canlearn.
We got him into jujitsu.
(20:23):
That was a game changer becausethen he was forced to be
sociable, because he wasn't.
He was forced to imitate otherchildren because he didn't have
any other brothers.
He was forced to followinstructions and talk.
So that environment it wasn'tmuch of the class, it was more
(20:45):
about the experience.
He was going day in, day outand that helped us a lot.
But we needed to sit down eachtime that something was
happening and stop panicking andcalling everybody.
We just sit down as the parentsand say, okay, what can we do?
There's something we need to dobecause he's very functional.
You see him, he looks youstraight in the eye.
(21:08):
You tell him hey, christian,how are you?
He's going to say Kung Fu Panda, he's there.
But it came to a point thatthere were moments that we said,
oh, this is tough, and there'sa lot of family that don't
understand and there's a lot ofwe don't have a lot of friends
who go through this moment, soyour circle gets smaller.
(21:30):
You're like, oh my God.
But that's where I would say,god comes in and you know just
everything in God's hands andtrying your best, I would say,
again, it sounds easy now and itsounds a walk in the park, like
I'm talking to you right now,but it's not.
And what I?
I think what I want to expresshere is that you're not alone,
(21:53):
right, um?
I think that we, when you, westarted seeing um, there was a
business coach that he said aquote that changed, I would say,
my life.
He mentioned in the businesswebinar, was saying, hey, you've
got to see things, that it'snot your fault, but it's your
problem.
And but if we translate it toour, I would say, situation.
(22:17):
It's not our fault, but it'sour responsibility, and you know
when you're accountable, youtake ownership for stuff.
I think you know God blessesyou in a way that you haven't
seen before.
Candace Patrice (22:31):
What is the?
I know you told us earlier, butcan you remind us the name of
the blog for anyone who wants togo and read that and where they
can find it?
Michael Pereira (22:41):
Yeah, it's wwwautismvoyagecom.
Okay, yeah, it's a, it's a blog.
You're going to see a lot ofblog posts from music therapy.
Is behavior therapy only forautism?
You're going to see blogsaround haircuts because of
sensory issue overloads.
You're going to see how martialarts helps special needs.
(23:03):
There's blogs that talk aboutthe difference between I don't
know autism and other, and thenthere's other blogs that talk
about trust funds for disability, for disabled children,
guardianship.
Then we have other ones thattalk about more of an
entrepreneurship perspective,because we believe here in our
(23:26):
household that you need toacquire some sort of skill set,
because it's very difficult whenyou have a son or daughter
taking 28 hours of therapy aweek and be able to also have a
nine to five job.
So we believe in some sort ofskill set that helps you buy
your time back, either with anemployer or taking the leap of
(23:47):
faith of having your ownbusiness.
Candace Patrice (23:52):
I want to get into that in a second, but I
want to ask you you said thatyou know you were traveling and
you noticed that there wasregression during your traveling
.
Covid kind of showed you he wasable to balance out, but then
you began traveling again.
How long did you travel Like?
(24:14):
How many years was yourtraveling and how often did you
have to travel, and how longwere those increments of travel
when you had?
Michael Pereira (24:22):
to go.
The main travel was prior COVID, because after COVID I was
traveling 80% of the time thatwas my main thing to land
America.
And when COVID released notthat much because I think
everybody was starting to getaccustomed again to that rhythm,
(24:43):
but um, I would say maybe acouple years after cope, maybe
months after covet uh released,that I started thinking.
Actually, within coven I wasalready thinking what can I do
to go into entrepreneurship,because I know that this is not
going to be for long.
I know that COVID for us wasfor me specifically.
(25:08):
It helped me be present becauseI wasn't right and actually I
started to get to know my wife alittle bit more because I went
home.
But it was some time and afterthat, I think, ups and downs,
trying to start things.
A lot of initiatives didn'thappen.
I dabbled into a couple ofprojects and until I said you
(25:33):
know what I need to stay true tomyself and this is what exactly
is happening right now.
So let me see how can we helpother parents.
Janet Hale (25:42):
May I jump in, candace?
I know you have questions.
And he reminded me of somethingwhen COVID came up and I wrote
down.
When he said COVID came by, andI took that literally COVID
came by, covid paid a visit toall of us and in some ways COVID
and I know it's going to sounda little weird, but I'm weird,
(26:04):
so it's okay.
In some ways, covid was a gift,and the reason why I say that
is because for a lot of us, wewere made to sit down, like we
were all made to like sit downright now.
And during that time Candacelived with me and I'll never
forget.
Every time I say I'll neverforget.
(26:25):
She don't remember, but that'sokay.
One day she said Ma, you know,I'm glad COVID came.
I said you glad?
She said yeah, because I'm here.
We're here, ma, and that was sobeautiful because in my home,
before that came down, you knowthe lockdown we were in here and
(26:47):
it was my daughter, mydaughter-in-law and my
granddaughter, the son-in-lawand my son-in-law, yes, and I
got to have a whole newrelationship with him, right.
In a good way, and so COVID didcome by, and I took that as
literally COVID coming by yeahyou know what I mean.
(27:08):
And so COVID.
It provides, I think, somegifts.
Not everyone would agree withthat, and that's okay.
The other thing I wanted to sayum, you talked about you made
your son go to the martial arts,is it?
Michael Pereira (27:24):
Mm-hmm.
Janet Hale (27:24):
Jiu-Jitsu Okay, I'm saying martial arts because I
can never say it right, anywayand I thought when you were
talking and I said, hmm, he'ssaying he made him go and I'm
thinking he chose to be open tothat process because he could
have got in there and bumped hishead and did all kind of you
(27:44):
know what I mean he could havebeen like I do not want to do
this, but it seems likesomething in him made, made a
choice um to do things differentand that you provided him with
so many choices.
You know what I mean kept goinguntil something worked and then,
matched him, and so I thinkthat's awesome.
And the other.
The last thing is a question,okay, and that is do you guys go
(28:10):
to support groups of any sorts?
Are there support groups forfamilies who are dealing with
this that may not be able toafford going to the doctor and
those kinds of things, may nothave the privilege to do that
but are at a lower incomebracket?
Or you know, insurance noteverybody has it.
(28:31):
So a lot of times supportgroups are beneficial and
helpful.
So I was just wondering aboutthat yeah, no, no, we didn't.
Michael Pereira (28:37):
We didn't actually go to support.
We've.
For some time we've tried to doeverything here at home.
Our support, I would say, isaround getting to know my wife
better and she's getting to knowme and see how we can work to
this as a team.
(28:58):
Because it gets to the pointthat if it's a support group, we
thought at one point that it'sgoing to take us away from what
we're trying to do because we'reconcentrating again on how we
feel.
And it came to a point that wejust said what can we do to at
least calm down the situation,and us first?
(29:21):
It's like going on the planeyou want to put your mask first
before helping others.
I just said, okay, what can wedo here at house and our house
first, before going out andlooking for help?
If it's something around, again,denial I talked about
selfishness, but also denial hitmy ego.
Is it around my ego?
(29:43):
I need to understand thatthere's another person in the
house, which is my wife.
She also has an opinion.
She also is seeing somethingthat I may not be seeing.
She's maybe seeing hidden gapsthat I'm not seeing.
So, again, it was to betterunderstand ourselves as
individuals, understandourselves as a marriage,
understand ourselves as parentsand see how we can better
(30:06):
ourselves here at home beforegoing out.
I don't know if that's the bestway.
Again, we're talking aboutsupport and bettering the
environment, not diagnosis.
Obviously, he was alreadydiagnosed and all that.
That's medical part.
But from post-diagnosis thatyou're trying to look for the
best way of handling this newscenario, we just the circle got
(30:31):
smaller and we just dabbleddown and doubled down into each
other and see how we can helphere at home first.
Janet Hale (30:39):
So it sounds like the support system is you and
your wife, is your family, thatyou do have a support group.
Michael Pereira (30:45):
Correct, correct.
Janet Hale (30:45):
That's what.
Michael Pereira (30:46):
I'm trying to say it's not external, it was
more internal, including my, mymom, she's, she's, I would say
she's the best grandmother therethere is.
You know that that's, that'sthe way we we went through that
phase.
Thank you, that's the way wewent through that phase.
Janet Hale (31:02):
Thank you.
Candace Patrice (31:03):
I actually love that.
One of the things that I loveabout this podcast is that we
talk about different ways toheal.
It doesn't have to look likewhat everybody else thinks.
It looks like You'll havepeople who go.
Well, you need to go, get incommunity.
You have to go to therapy, andwhile that does work for some
(31:24):
people maybe many people itdoesn't work for all.
But I think that the mindset ofstarting in the home, asking the
questions of what can I do foryou, what do you need, who are
you, is a very grounding placeto be.
And even when we talk aboutgoing into isolation and being
(31:47):
alone, that's what we're doingwith ourselves.
Sometimes it's asking ourselvesthe questions when they say you
need to get to know yourself.
That's what that is.
It's the reason why I evenstopped watching so much TV,
because I'm like I'm invested ineverybody else's life, or the
scripted life.
And what about my life?
Am I living my life?
(32:08):
So, taking that time to go outand live, and it sounds like by
you making that decision toground your inner home, you're
really creating your own thoughtprocesses that work for you and
(32:30):
it doesn't put you in thebubble of well, we all are doing
it this way, so, or hearingadvice One of the things I
personally I feel like I'm veryimpressionable when I hear
people's thoughts and that'skind of the reason why I pulled
away from listening to people,because I'm like, wait, I was
thinking this, but now I'mthinking this because you said
(32:53):
this and that did sound better.
But as I'm like, but I have myown journey and my own purpose
and God's will for me is notgoing to be the same for you and
even though our situations looksimilar, they're different
because I'm me.
So I just I want to commend youon that.
I think that's awesome and Ihope that you know listeners who
(33:15):
have tried support groups andtherapy and they don't feel like
it's working, that maybe theycan take a different approach
and go within themselves, withintheir home, especially if they
have that support of a partner.
Michael Pereira (33:29):
Yeah, and a hundred, no, a hundred percent.
And something that I see a lotand I think it happened to me at
one point.
Maybe I didn't see it, but theservices I offer at you know,
they use more of the financialservices.
And the other day I was in oneof the classes with Christian
(33:51):
and one of the parents therestarted talking to him and his
son also is on the spectrum andI said, hey, how is so-and-so
and how is this going?
And we have trust so I can talkto him and all his mother is
handling that.
And I said, okay, perfect.
(34:12):
I told him man, bro, it'sincredible that you know your
sales commission and you don'tknow your son's progress.
Very good, and he stayedlooking at me.
I said you can know yourquarterly quota, you can know
your sales commission, you knowall this, and you don't know
(34:33):
your son's progression.
Man, what's happening?
And I think that that couldhave happened to me.
But the majority of people thatI see that they seek therapy and
in this case, our supportgroups, they think they're going
.
It's like they're in cruisecontrol, but they're going the
wrong way.
Oh and and and.
When I started talking to himand he's saying, like, man, you
(34:56):
know it's, it's, it's, it's trueand I, I see that a lot.
I see that there's a lot ofpeople that talk I don't really
know this.
Yeah, it's true, we're doingthis, this and this and this I
said, but if you just take thetime that you, it seems like
you're again going on cruisecontrol and you think you're
going the right way, gasoline,and you're going to open ocean,
(35:22):
right, and I see that a lot thatagain, they may not be seeing
these hidden spots, these gaps,but it could have happened to me
as well, but that's somethingthat I see a lot that there's no
recognition, there's no peopleseem that they're not.
Candace Patrice (35:44):
They're hearing you but they're not listening.
Right, that was so powerfulwhat you just said.
You know your sales quota, butyou don't know your son's
progression.
That part I wanted to cry.
I did hold it in Mm.
Hmm, wow, wow, okay, okay.
Janet Hale (36:03):
Well, I'm not on camera, so I can cry.
Candace Patrice (36:09):
So I know you spoke early, early on about a
special needs trust.
I have a question and thenquestion.
Michael Pereira (36:35):
And so were you the breadwinner of your home.
And what was that transitionlike?
To step out on faith or whatdid?
And I just think about justreplacing her.
She's really the breadwinner,right, because if I wouldn't, be
, a friend, a wife, apsychologist, a chef.
(36:56):
You know it's a lot of rolesthat she does.
So I just don't like sayingthat I was a breadwinner.
But in regards to income, yes.
The reason why I took the leapof faith.
I think there was a lot offactors.
When I started looking forother employers to see if I can
do the same travel less I thinkthere's a lot of factors.
(37:18):
One, I was not in the rightmindset because my concerns, my
worries, were more on the familyside.
Secondly, when you're going toa startup, sometimes you go into
one thing and you're doing alot of things and again it came
to a point that we needed topart ways because I wasn't in
(37:39):
the right mindset.
So I would say this forced meto be able to just take the leap
of faith and say, hey, if I'mgoing to do this healing and
acceptance, and let me see if Ican do it.
Also, at the same time,providing services.
Where I saw the gap, which iswhen I said, hey, every time I
(38:01):
went to a financial advisor,everybody wanted to sell me
something or recruit me.
So I wanted to see if I canfill that gap of being more
comprehensive and not thattransactional.
So we focus on three main areasand what I'm going to explain is
going to answer your questionabout the special needs dress.
So we focus on comprehensiveinsurance planning.
(38:24):
We don't do financial planningbecause we don't do investments.
I only focus on insurance.
And, by the way, there's nosecret sauce.
There's no secret product.
Whatever you acquire from me,you can acquire from another
agent.
So sometimes on social mediathere's a lot of exaggeration
and hoax to bring you in andseem something special.
(38:47):
There's nothing special.
The only thing is we'reapplying old school products to
a problem statement.
So these problem statements arethree.
One is income protectionstrategy.
Why?
Because if Christian depends onme or my family depends on me a
hundred percent and I getcancer, I get into, I have a
(39:09):
stroke or get into a caraccident, I'm two years out.
I need a replacement for myincome.
I want to concentrate onrecuperating and not concentrate
on how I'm going to pay thehouse.
So there's something that we dowhich is a strategy to see how
we can provide disability incomeinsurance.
Sometimes employers offershort-term, long-term disability
(39:30):
, but usually they fall short towhat you would actually need.
So that's the first one.
Second one is using lifeinsurance to fund a special
needs trust, and I would saythat's in combination with the
attorney.
The attorney is the one thathelps you with the trust.
(39:50):
We just use life insurance tofund it.
So there's a lot of ways tofund a special needs trust.
You can use real estate,brokerage accounts, savings, but
for me that fluctuates, so Ijust want to have something
predictable.
As long as you pay the premiums, the term is going to be there.
So using a life insurance tofund a special needs trust.
(40:13):
And the third one would belong-term care strategy.
Why?
Because, again, I don't knowuntil when Christian is going to
depend on me.
I don't know until whenChristian is going to depend on
me.
If later on, around 80, I'm 85,and I need help for myself, an
assisting living facility, anursing home they're becoming
very expensive.
You want to have a coveragethat can cover those expenses
(40:35):
later on because, again, I don'tknow if Christian can take care
of me.
I come from Puerto Rico.
In Puerto Rico you see a lot offamilies that live together All
the grandma.
Everybody's here in the Statesis different.
I come from Puerto Rico andPuerto Rico you see a lot of
families that live together onthe ground.
Everybody's here in the Statesis different.
So that long term care strategytackles that area.
So those are the three areas wefocus on and again, there's no
(40:56):
secret product, we're justapplying it to a problem
statement.
So Okay, so okay.
Hopefully I answered Nice.
Candace Patrice (41:11):
Oh, okay, so with the, how does life
insurance fund a trust?
Michael Pereira (41:20):
Well, a trust is a document, that it's a legal
document that you do with anattorney that basically has your
wishes, has a lot of stuff.
But when it comes to specialneeds and again I'm not an
attorney this is something thatyou would need to support an
attorney.
If that family receives let'ssay, for example, christian and
(41:41):
my wife, let's say I have apolicy and they receive the
proceeds right.
Let's say, if Christian wouldhave any government benefits, by
default the family isconsidered high income earner
because they received this chunkof money, so all those benefits
would be cut off because he'shigh income earner.
(42:03):
But if it's in the specialneeds trust and the funds go
there, that money is notconsidered as ordinary income.
Candace Patrice (42:13):
What so should we all be doing this?
I know there's a special needstrust but can you do that in a
non-special needs?
Michael Pereira (42:25):
trust.
Yeah, of course there'sstrategies there.
Anybody who is online and, forexample, wants to know a little
bit more.
If it's more on the legal side,I can refer to a legal firm
which I believe servesnationwide, firm which I believe
serves nationwide.
And if it's more on theinsurance side, but there's a
(42:46):
lot of strategies families cando in that regard.
Right, because there's alltheir benefits that trust has.
If there's any asset protectionand so forth.
And there's regular familiesthat don't have trust receive
life insurance more.
From a tax perspective, they'regood because it's tax-free, but
I'm talking about benefits.
If there's any benefits thatthe child has let.
Tax perspective, they're goodbecause it's tax-free, but I'm
talking about benefits.
If there's any benefits thatthe child has.
Let's say they're takingtherapy because of medicaid or
(43:08):
something they.
It may be a jeopardy if theyreceive all that lump sum
because you're considered nowhigh income earner, right.
So there's a lot of things.
Again, there's no one size fitsall, um.
So that's why I wanted to dothe comprehensive insurance
planning, because it's reallybased on the family.
It depends.
Candace Patrice (43:29):
So what is a comprehensive insurance plan?
Michael Pereira (43:32):
Exactly what we're talking about.
It's not just okay, buy apolicy, for example.
Let me give you an example.
When I started looking, I said,hey, but what if I get cancer?
And the guy said, hey, just buya policy that if you die, your
family receives a milliondollars.
I said, perfect, but what if Idon't die?
What happens?
(43:53):
Oh well, that's something, andhe didn't talk to me about that.
So comprehensive insuranceplanning just sees the full
holistic view and says, ok, youalready have this, you need this
.
So you can basically make surethat you build a foundation
because the three areas I talkedabout income would cater to.
(44:14):
If you're disabled you don'tdie, life insurance to fund the
special needs If you, if you die, long term care if you don't
die early stages but you dielater on.
So you're catering each area asyou go in life.
Candace Patrice (44:30):
Oh, that makes sense.
So do you sell the product?
Michael Pereira (44:37):
The insurance yes.
Candace Patrice (44:38):
You sell the insurance.
So if somebody wanted to know,OK, before I even ask that, do
you only deal with special needsinsurance policies or all
insurance policies?
Michael Pereira (44:51):
That's what I'm saying.
There's no secret product.
There's no secret sauce Like aterm policy can be sold to
anybody.
I'm just applying it to thespecial needs trust, but I can
attend anybody who I request inservices.
Of course, the only thing is Ifocus on families and special
needs, because I see that thisis an underserved community,
(45:14):
that these type of conversationsdon't happen often.
So my focus is like, forexample, I'm my customer, that's
what I'm saying.
My profile is the same customerI cater to.
Candace Patrice (45:27):
Got you your avatar?
Yeah, exactly.
Michael Pereira (45:31):
So I'm my type of client, that family, you know
who has a diagnosis, that isjust trying to plan for the
future the best way.
It's just trying to plan forthe future the best way and
really plan like using insurance, because I would say it's one
of the cheapest way to mitigatea lot of risk.
Candace Patrice (45:51):
So if someone wanted to get a comprehensive
life insurance policy with you,how would they go about doing
that?
Michael Pereira (46:02):
They can go to the website.
You can click our services.
It's going to be there Give usthe website again.
Yeah, of course,wwwtheautismvoyagecom.
And, for example, like Imentioned, there's no one size
fits all.
If there's more complexplanning, like there's now
(46:23):
investments, there's now otherthings I would just refer it out
to maybe an investment manageror wealth manager.
If it's more on the legal side,like I mentioned, the example I
just gave you for the specialneeds trust that's just as a
reference.
Nobody should take it as legaladvice.
But they should have thisconversation with a lawyer
(46:44):
because each family is different, right?
So if they want to talk aboutinsurance planning, they can
just go to the website, put theservices.
I can by all means have a callwith anybody, just understand
their scenario and see wherethey want to get you and based
on that again, I would attendthem or refer them out.
Candace Patrice (47:03):
Are there any fees for having that
consultation?
Michael Pereira (47:07):
With me.
No, like any other agent, thereshouldn't be, I would say, any
fee for life insurance, but no.
Candace Patrice (47:13):
You hear that people no fees.
So if someone's charging you gorun the other way.
Don't cruise in the wrongdirection there you go.
Janet Hale (47:24):
I know that um some.
Michael Pereira (47:26):
Some lawyers, I believe, charge for the first
I've seen I've seen lawyers thatsay, okay, the first
consultation is free, or theothers you will need to pay this
.
But when it's life insurance, Ihaven't heard of of anybody
charged for that conversation.
Candace Patrice (47:44):
Did you have any questions, mom?
Janet Hale (47:47):
No, I enjoyed everything that you said and I
love talking about financialliteracy, not just for dealing
with special needs, but period.
We all need to take a look atthat and while you were talking,
I was like I need to do this, Ineed to do this, I need to do
that, and I just think.
Talking, I was like I need todo this, I need to do this and I
(48:10):
just think it's good.
Michael Pereira (48:11):
All the way around, I think everything that
we're talking about is just goodfor everyone?
Yeah, I think so.
I think so, and some of the Iwould say misconceptions or
mistakes I see is that waitingtoo long?
When you're talking aboutinsurance, I would say, and in
particular life insurance fordisability or anything it gets
more expensive as time passesbecause you're getting older,
(48:32):
there's more probability of youhaving something or getting
something or an unexpected eventhappening.
So what I would recommend,parents, is that if you already
have concerns about the future,if, for example, this moment,
you cannot sign a check, a blankcheck with your family, if
(48:54):
something were to happen to you,this is the type of
conversation you should have andyou shouldn't feel pressure to
move forward, but you shouldfeel pressure to gain knowledge,
to understand where moveforward, but you should feel
pressure to gain knowledge Tounderstand where you are, where
you should be.
Janet Hale (49:09):
Yeah, I think you should be pressured to move, but
let's get it done, because wecan talk for days, years, even
years even for days, years, evenyears.
Candace Patrice (49:28):
Even so, we're going to wrap up, but is there
anything else that you want toshare with the listeners?
We touched on a lot of.
I don't know how we managed tohit so much in this timeframe,
but we did.
Is there anything you want toshare with families dealing with
children of special needs?
Any suggestions or advice youwant to give?
(49:49):
Is there any other financialliteracy information you want to
share?
Just take this time to giveyour last thoughts.
Michael Pereira (49:57):
Yeah.
So I'm going to share with youguys a link so the listeners
here, if interested, they're inspecial needs.
I created a checklist.
That checklist helps familiesto really really think about
their scenario.
So you're going to checkmarkwhat you have, what you don't
have, but at least it shows youwhat you may not know.
So I'm going to share that linkso people can see it.
(50:20):
But the only thing I would sayis that there's a quote that I
think her name is Ginny Rometty.
She's the former CEO of IBM.
She said that growth andcomfort cannot coexist and I
think that if you want to becomfortable, don't expect growth
(50:41):
, and if you want to grow, don'texpect to be comfortable.
So I would say that's one ofthe quotes I love.
And again, it's Jeannie Rometty, I think.
Yeah, that's the main.
She's a former CEO of IBM.
Janet Hale (50:57):
You are dropping so many spiritual bones in this
conversation, sir.
And I want to thank you, sir,for all of it.
Thank you for being here andfor all the listeners and for
Candice and I.
Thank you very much.
Candace Patrice (51:12):
That quote actually is very needed for me
right now, in this moment,because some things are real
uncomfortable as I'm trying togrow Mm-hmm, I'm trying to grow.
Janet Hale (51:24):
I do want to share something about excuse me, about
the uncomfortable part.
So, there was a conversationhad with me I hadn't even shared
this with Candace and theconversation went like this
Janet, where are you?
Because who you're representingis not Janet.
(51:45):
And that is not cool for theculture.
I'm going to curse a little bit.
So all you people, you know theperson said because we don't do
that phony shit here, and thatwas so uncomfortable you guys
don't even understand Like youtalk about the ego and I was
like, oh, I was so deflated Iwas saying wait a minute.
But, um, the person wasabsolutely correct.
(52:08):
I'm 61 years old and it tookthat conversation, that very
uncomfortable conversation, forme to realize that there was a
certain certain part of me thatwas still caught up in the
perception of others and notabout my authentic self.
And I promise you it took metwo days to heal from that
(52:29):
conversation.
But it also brought me back tome and it's a conversation that
Candice and I have.
Sometimes she's like Ma, youknow, we get on the podcast.
Your voice changed and I waslike, hmm, and I noticed at
certain meetings my voicechanged.
Guess what?
This is my voice.
This is Janet and I love me.
I hope you love me too.
And, yes, the uncomfortablespaces is the spaces from which
(52:52):
I grow.
Michael Pereira (52:55):
And that quote just showed me.
Hey, just decide what you want,but you can't have both.
They live in a gray yeah,because it's it's, it says it it
cannot coexist.
You cannot grow and be and youknow comfort, growth and comfort
that do not coexist.
Candace Patrice (53:13):
So you know you really don't no, even as my
daughter is growing literallyphysical pains um in her body
because she's growing when ourteeth, when they come in, they
hurt.
Everything that's growing hurts.
It's not comfortable.
Michael Pereira (53:32):
No.
So I would say that's what Iwould love to leave the
listeners to just digest.
It took me some time, but yeah,it helped me a lot.
Candace Patrice (53:43):
Thank you, thank you for that.
If you are someone you know isstruggling, you can always call
or text the Suicide PreventionLifeline at 988.
And if you are just looking forsafe places, as we've been
reminded today, sometimes ittakes to go within.
Go within yourself.
(54:04):
Go within your home, get toknow yourself better, get to
know your partner better, get toknow your children better.
They are not you.
Your children are individualswith their own minds, with their
own thought processes, and eventhough we are guiding them that
is what we are doing we areguiding them they are not living
(54:28):
our lives.
They will have such a differentoutcome.
So foster a safe place for yourchildren as best you can, but
learn how to be in safe placesfor yourself as well.
So, whatever that looks likethat might look like therapy,
that might look like a lifecoach, that may look like church
, that may look like friendship,that may look like family, it's
(54:52):
going to look different.
So don't look for a one-stopshop that fits everybody.
Listen to your gut, follow yourit will.
It is a reason that you havethe feelings that you have
within yourself.
So, um, yeah, I wanted to leaveyou all with that.
And, of course, you can followme at candicepatrice underscore
(55:15):
em on instagram.
Essential motivation.
On facebook, you can go to thewebsite essentialmotivationcom
and you can email atCandiceFleming.
At essentialmotivationcom.
There will be links at thebottom of the show that you can
click for myself, janet andMichael to get all of this
(55:37):
beautiful information.
Continue to trust yourself,guys.
Yeah, so, as we always leave,remember to love hard, forgive
often and laugh frequent.
Thank you, guys, so much.
Thank you listeners and adiosthank you.
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing,where I am your host, Candace
Patrice, and, joining me, asalways, my lovely, lovely,
lovely mother, janet Hell.
Janet Hale (00:24):
Hello mother.
Well, she got an accent andeverything this morning.
Good morning, good morning,good morning.
Candace Patrice (00:32):
And we also have a lovely, lovely guest
today.
Michael is with us today.
Hello Michael, how are you?
Michael Pereira (00:41):
Hello, hello.
Thank you so much for having meExcited.
Candace Patrice (00:44):
Yes, yes, absolutely, we are you, hello,
hello.
Thank you so much for having meExcited.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
We are excited to have you here, excited to touch on some
different areas today than wehave in the past and hearing a
new journey of recovery, healingjust your journey.
Would you tell us a little bitabout yourself today?
Michael Pereira (01:07):
Of course, of course.
So, michael Pereira, here I'mthe founder of the Autism Voyage
.
Everything started I would saya couple, this initiative
started a couple of years ago.
So let me just long story short, let me see if I can reframe
this in a way that it's notoverwhelming.
So I came from corporatetraveling, I would say, 80% of
(01:33):
the time never home.
That was the pace for 10 years.
And upon that lifestyle met mywife and we wanted to do our own
American dream.
So we got married, bought ahouse and got pregnant with our
first child, Christian Omar.
And around when he was, I wouldsay, one year old, we started
seeing symptoms that we knewthat needed to be addressed.
(01:56):
But I would say, as themajority of the parents, we were
in denial.
We were in denial and thatdenial phase was some time.
So we obviously, between thatand listening to family, I would
say that in some cases, hey,don't worry, he doesn't have
anything.
You were the same thatobviously procrastinates early
(02:19):
intervention, right.
Luckily for us, he was so youngthat, even though if we tried,
you know I would say it's notthat accurate but COVID came by,
was able to stay here, notravel, a lot of those symptoms
reduced, don't know why.
But then when COVID releasedthat, I started traveling again.
(02:39):
I think that that's where allthe symptoms returned, because
he wasn't good with transitions.
So a lot of hitting his headagainst the wall, tippy-toeing,
aligning stuff.
He was nonverbal.
Then he started talking alittle bit, but then he
regressed.
So we knew that at one point weneeded to address it.
(03:01):
We were able to get himdiagnosed.
Point, we needed to address it.
We were able to get himdiagnosed.
And that's where, I would say,comes the real story of how the
blog was created.
I started looking for otheremployers to see if I can do the
same thing but travel less.
Couldn't find it.
And at the same time I startedto look for financial advisors,
(03:23):
planners, and everybody justwanted to sell me something or
recruit me.
Nobody really knew how to talkto me about special needs, trust
, guardianships, power ofattorneys, how you can use life
insurance to fund the specialneeds, trust if needed.
And we became very frustratedand we just say, okay, I already
(03:44):
was in financial services.
So we said, let's see if we canhelp families like ours.
We tried other things but weended up in special needs and we
developed a blog that basicallycaters to a lot of topics.
Any parent going through earlydiagnosis, post diagnosis would
(04:04):
ask themselves.
So I hope it wasn't too much,but that's basically it.
Candace Patrice (04:10):
No, no, that's awesome.
I have it made my brain want toask questions.
But before I start jumping intothe questions, I just want to
do a quick check-in and see howyou're doing today.
How have you been?
How's the week been?
Michael Pereira (04:26):
Oh, good, good, good, Everything's good.
I think that it's good becausewe decide it's good, right?
We usually parents in thespecial needs community.
Whoever's listening knows thatwe're always in survival mode
and obviously you decide how youwant to react to a lot of
(04:48):
things that go on in theday-to-day basis, because
there's a lot of ups and downsNot in a bad way, but so many
mixed emotions because you don'tknow if they're going to call
you from the school, you don'tknow if he's going to like what
you cooked, so forth.
So I think everything's good.
But it's because we decided andobviously we leave everything
in God's hands.
Candace Patrice (05:08):
Nice, I love that.
Mom.
How are you doing today?
Janet Hale (05:12):
I'm doing really good and I really appreciate the
things that say your name,michael, michael, michael, okay,
I'm sorry, but I reallyappreciated what he, what the
things that he mentioned and theself-care that he and his wife
took in their own hands, and Ithink that most of us, whether
(05:35):
we're dealing with special needsor not, need to take heed to
that, because we are in this ratrace of life.
If we choose to be, I love thatwhen we choose to be.
So, for me, and how I'm doing,is that I'm choosing to kind of
step back and relax a littlemore, not get caught up in the
(05:56):
people pleasing and how muchmoney can I make?
And let me hurry up and do thisand I got to have.
No, I do not.
What I need is what I lovedabout what you and your wife did
was sit down, take time out andlet me become the most
important person, and if I hadchildren that were in the home,
(06:16):
that would be the you know, thesame sentiment.
So I really appreciated whatyou said and it touched me in a
certain kind of way, you know,thank you, thank you, thank you
for that.
Candace Patrice (06:29):
I also like that, the taking time, and I
think even without havingspecial needs children, we still
have to choose to have a goodday.
We have to choose that Inmental health.
It's important for everyone tolook at themselves and say you
know what.
I'm going to make a decision,no matter what happens.
Today's a good day and if it'ssomething that interrupts or
(06:53):
doesn't look like what youexpected it to look like it's,
how do I use that for my good.
You know how do I turn thataround.
I had a birthday, april 2nd, 37.
I'm excited, but I chose to sitdown for my birthday alone.
I went and got me a hotel roomfor two days and I was alone.
(07:16):
It was while my daughter waswith her father, so it didn't
take away from my parenting time.
Um, I took two days off workand I treated myself to
Benihana's.
I went to the movies, I went tothe mall I had.
The manager gave me freebreakfast on my birthday that
morning, so I had out to TexasRoad or took us out to Texas
Roadhouse on my birthday.
(07:48):
So you know that sitting downand sitting back and relaxing is
, and making that decision is soimportant.
And also, you know, I hear, Iheard you say you know, with
special needs, you never knowwhat his temperament is going to
be, if he's going to like thefood that you cooked.
Well, guess what?
Me either.
I thought about that.
Janet Hale (08:09):
Yeah, I was like special needs and everyone else.
I might wake up and not likewhat I'm doing, okay, and I'm in
the house all alone.
You know I have to deal withall these things alone, 100
percent how old is your um, yourson?
Michael Pereira (08:32):
well, you have more than you have two children
yeah, yeah, yeah, christian he's, he just turned seven and
amanda she's three oh nice, how,uh, what's the dynamic like
between the two of them?
Candace Patrice (08:43):
because, because, what's his name?
Christian?
Michael Pereira (08:45):
Christian.
Candace Patrice (08:46):
Christian is the the special needs kid,
correct?
Michael Pereira (08:49):
He has autism, yeah.
Candace Patrice (08:50):
Yeah, how do they, how do they maneuver
together?
Michael Pereira (08:56):
I, amanda, has been a blessing for him, I would
say, because I would say he hada one point, because I would
say he had a one point hit.
Let me see how I can say thisEven though he's seven, in
reality, he has an attitude offive or four I mean so does all
of us at one point, yeah exactlyyou and me.
(09:18):
So it came to a point thatAmanda is like almost from a
developmental standpoint.
You know he gets along with her, he follows, you know her lead
a lot of during the day whenthey're together.
But it's a really good dynamicbecause, again, I think that
(09:38):
when I say decided, we here as afamily unit, here as a family
unit, we try to incorporate abalance between raising a child
on the spectrum and a childwho's not on the spectrum and we
don't treat one more specialthan the other one, we try to be
(10:02):
equal so they can feel thatboth of them are treated equally
.
And one of the things thatwe've seen, for example, even
though Amanda has been ablessing for Christian in
regards to behavior, they playtogether.
Now Amanda, on her side, webelieve that, for example, she
needs speech because Christianat one point was nonverbal.
So she was nonverbal becauseshe didn't have anybody to
(10:23):
practice with.
So in that extent, now she'staking speech therapy because we
believe, again, there's a lotof factors to go there, but
she's three and she still isstruggling from from a speech
standpoint.
And we believe, again, it'sbecause christian started
talking a couple, I would say, ayear and a half ago yeah and
(10:43):
when I say talking just a couplewords, because it's still not
conversational, so you know.
but it's a really, really gooddynamic because, again, we're
trying to some way somehow besupportive but at the same time
trying to focus on the strengthsof each one at its most.
Candace Patrice (11:03):
You know, I hear that and I think what a
blessing it is that they haveyou guys to even want to take
action, like she's not diagnosedwith anything and you're still
like, but I want to make surethat you're okay.
So we're going to get you inspeech therapy because that's
what we believe is best for you,not what everybody else
(11:23):
believes and what they think.
And, like you said in thebeginning, you know, listening
to family kind of created adelay.
Listening to others created adelay, but now it's.
You know, I see things, I cando it my way or, you know, your
family's way, and doing that is,I think, so great.
And I think that I've beenwatching the Good Doctor.
(11:46):
I was going there, candace, meand my mama Binging the Good
Doctor.
Actually, I just started seasontwo, by the way, ma.
Janet Hale (11:55):
Okay.
Candace Patrice (11:58):
And I think that she will have an advantage
in life being able to maneuverautism and just and anyone in
general, because she has abroader perspective, and I
remember, on one of our otherpodcasts talking about diversity
(12:21):
, equity and inclusion and howwe don't think of certain things
because we're not in thesituation and by her being in a
dual situation, it broadens herhorizon for inclusiveness, you
know.
So great job, that's all Greatjob.
Michael Pereira (12:41):
And even though , again, christian is very
functional, but you know, she'slearning a lot from him as well.
So we're excited, we're excited.
But I think this you know, whenI say decide, when we decide to
have a good week, when wedecide, I think everything came
about in the acceptance phase.
(13:03):
That changed, you know, becausewe can be in denial and what
I've learned is just being indenial just reflects how selfish
I am, and because I'm onlythinking about what I think,
what I feel, what I thought, andthat as long as, for example,
(13:23):
the extent of the denial justreflects the extent of your
selfishness.
When we got into the acceptancephase, it was okay, that's fine
, nothing's happened.
We're just going to be moresupportive.
This is it.
I'm okay, he's okay,everybody's okay.
Now it's a different mindset.
It's about more acceptance,more being adaptable, being
(13:48):
flexible.
Understand that you can controlonly what you can control and
just be, be that.
But I think that I'm talking toyou today, but it's been six
years, that ups and downs, inthe dark moments, in the high.
So anybody who's hearing it,even though it sounds good,
because I'm saying after sixyears in the, in the trenches,
(14:09):
what I would say is that myswitch was in the acceptance
phase.
Just accept, whatever yourlifestyle, whatever's happening,
just accept it and see it as anopportunity, not a victim, and
understand that that it that itaffects other people, not just
(14:29):
only you.
So that's it.
Janet Hale (14:31):
May I weigh in?
Okay, go ahead, and I waslistening.
And what's your oldest child'sname?
Michael Pereira (14:39):
Christian.
Janet Hale (14:40):
And how him, entering into the space, created
a healing for everyone in thathome.
And the reason why I say thatis because he is the one who
unlocked what you said, thedenial phase.
He's the one who unlocked thedenial, you guys being more
self-aware.
(15:00):
He is the one who brought allthe things to open up the
universe.
And you know, when we can lookat like you said, we can look at
a situation I could bedevastated, or I could say you
know what?
And you made me think ofsomething.
Everybody that listens to thispodcast knows I'm in recovery,
(15:20):
and so one of the prayers is God, grant me the sovereignty to
accept the things I cannotchange right, to give me the
courage to change the things Ican right and the wisdom to know
the difference.
And he brought the wisdom tothe equation, from what I hear,
which is awesome, you know, andit's really about cracking
ourselves wide open, becausethat's what he I don't know I'm
(15:43):
talking.
Michael Pereira (15:43):
You're probably like that's not what happened,
but it sounds that way no no,but it is at the end of the day.
I think everybody goes throughthis phase in any situation in
life.
I've seen, for example, parentsthat I know not that I know
because I'm not a medicalprofessional but you can tell
that the child needs help andthey haven't looked for the help
(16:05):
and they're in denial and thekid's already nine, 10.
And you're like, oh my God,what's happening?
It's going to be very difficultand when you talk to him, it's
completely in denial.
And that's where I say that'sbasically your definition of
selfishness, because the kid isnine, ten, he's struggling,
(16:25):
You're seeing it and you're onlythinking about yourself, how
you feel, and the only one who'sgetting affected is the child.
Right, but this can apply inevery, I would say in.
Everybody's has their ownissues and as long as you're in
denial, you're just thinkingabout your benefit, the way you
feel.
And I would, you know,recommend anybody who's going
(16:48):
through a denial phase to justyou know, even if you're in the
like I was, or my wife at 2 amlooking for information because
we didn't want to talk toanybody just understand that
you're not alone, that if you'regoing through anxiety or
whatever uncertainty, you're notalone, that if you're going
through anxiety or whateveruncertainty, you're in the right
place, because that's thesymptoms that everybody in
(17:09):
denial goes through.
Candace Patrice (17:12):
I have a scripture I want to give you,
because I heard you speak aboutGod.
Janet Hale (17:18):
And we're foundation of wisdom.
Candace Patrice (17:29):
Knowledge of the Holy One results in good
judgment.
I mean that's Proverbs 9, 10.
Relationship, possibly with God, resulted in that good judgment
to give you that wisdom andknowledge to be able to move
forward in the best way for yourfamily.
(17:50):
But I want to ask a questiontoo.
You mentioned that it soundsgood now, but it wasn't always
like this.
For the relatability of thelisteners, would you share with
us a little bit about those darktimes?
(18:11):
Yeah, of course.
Michael Pereira (18:13):
Like it's.
Let me see, you know, waking upat 2 am, your child's hitting
his head against the wall.
At that moment it's like, okay,what's happening?
It's a very dark moment becauseyou're saying is this going to
be long term?
Is this going to be somethingthat's a phase that's going to
(18:36):
go out?
Is it going to get to a pointthat it's going to hit him
himself so hard it's going to beinjured, and it gets to a point
that it's going to hit himhimself so hard it's going to be
, you know, injured.
And it gets to a point that youthen become overprotective.
You, you know there's a lot ofthings that happen there.
Uh, we were a long time withoutgoing out to a restaurant
(18:56):
because obviously, he, he hadsome.
Just as an example, let's say,just going out to the mall and
going to the public bathroom,those blowers to dry their hands
.
From a sensory perspective, hedidn't.
It was a meltdown there, orjust a blender here my wife blew
drying her hair.
There were a lot of momentsthat, you know, it may sound
(19:21):
simple, or, oh, that's fine,nobody.
In reality, for us it was okay.
When is this going to beexhausted from him, you know?
Or is this becoming each time.
It's going to be a heaviermeltdown, right.
But what we did is okay, let'ssee what we can do.
We started doing more activities.
(19:42):
We took away the tablets, wetook away tvs, we started um to
see how we can incorporate himinto sports, like, for example,
we got him first in soccer.
He didn't work because he hadsomething called elopement.
Elopement is when he just runsaway without any consequence and
(20:02):
and in an open field.
In soccer, believe me,elopement was there, so it
wasn't good.
Then we got him into swimming.
He saw it more as a play dateand didn't really learn how to
swim.
So we then said, okay, what canwe do?
That's closed.
But at the same time he canlearn.
We got him into jujitsu.
(20:23):
That was a game changer becausethen he was forced to be
sociable, because he wasn't.
He was forced to imitate otherchildren because he didn't have
any other brothers.
He was forced to followinstructions and talk.
So that environment it wasn'tmuch of the class, it was more
(20:45):
about the experience.
He was going day in, day outand that helped us a lot.
But we needed to sit down eachtime that something was
happening and stop panicking andcalling everybody.
We just sit down as the parentsand say, okay, what can we do?
There's something we need to dobecause he's very functional.
You see him, he looks youstraight in the eye.
(21:08):
You tell him hey, christian,how are you?
He's going to say Kung Fu Panda, he's there.
But it came to a point thatthere were moments that we said,
oh, this is tough, and there'sa lot of family that don't
understand and there's a lot ofwe don't have a lot of friends
who go through this moment, soyour circle gets smaller.
(21:30):
You're like, oh my God.
But that's where I would say,god comes in and you know just
everything in God's hands andtrying your best, I would say,
again, it sounds easy now and itsounds a walk in the park, like
I'm talking to you right now,but it's not.
And what I?
I think what I want to expresshere is that you're not alone,
(21:53):
right, um?
I think that we, when you, westarted seeing um, there was a
business coach that he said aquote that changed, I would say,
my life.
He mentioned in the businesswebinar, was saying, hey, you've
got to see things, that it'snot your fault, but it's your
problem.
And but if we translate it toour, I would say, situation.
(22:17):
It's not our fault, but it'sour responsibility, and you know
when you're accountable, youtake ownership for stuff.
I think you know God blessesyou in a way that you haven't
seen before.
Candace Patrice (22:31):
What is the?
I know you told us earlier, butcan you remind us the name of
the blog for anyone who wants togo and read that and where they
can find it?
Michael Pereira (22:41):
Yeah, it's wwwautismvoyagecom.
Okay, yeah, it's a, it's a blog.
You're going to see a lot ofblog posts from music therapy.
Is behavior therapy only forautism?
You're going to see blogsaround haircuts because of
sensory issue overloads.
You're going to see how martialarts helps special needs.
(23:03):
There's blogs that talk aboutthe difference between I don't
know autism and other, and thenthere's other blogs that talk
about trust funds for disability, for disabled children,
guardianship.
Then we have other ones thattalk about more of an
entrepreneurship perspective,because we believe here in our
(23:26):
household that you need toacquire some sort of skill set,
because it's very difficult whenyou have a son or daughter
taking 28 hours of therapy aweek and be able to also have a
nine to five job.
So we believe in some sort ofskill set that helps you buy
your time back, either with anemployer or taking the leap of
(23:47):
faith of having your ownbusiness.
Candace Patrice (23:52):
I want to get into that in a second, but I
want to ask you you said thatyou know you were traveling and
you noticed that there wasregression during your traveling
.
Covid kind of showed you he wasable to balance out, but then
you began traveling again.
How long did you travel Like?
(24:14):
How many years was yourtraveling and how often did you
have to travel, and how longwere those increments of travel
when you had?
Michael Pereira (24:22):
to go.
The main travel was prior COVID, because after COVID I was
traveling 80% of the time thatwas my main thing to land
America.
And when COVID released notthat much because I think
everybody was starting to getaccustomed again to that rhythm,
(24:43):
but um, I would say maybe acouple years after cope, maybe
months after covet uh released,that I started thinking.
Actually, within coven I wasalready thinking what can I do
to go into entrepreneurship,because I know that this is not
going to be for long.
I know that COVID for us wasfor me specifically.
(25:08):
It helped me be present becauseI wasn't right and actually I
started to get to know my wife alittle bit more because I went
home.
But it was some time and afterthat, I think, ups and downs,
trying to start things.
A lot of initiatives didn'thappen.
I dabbled into a couple ofprojects and until I said you
(25:33):
know what I need to stay true tomyself and this is what exactly
is happening right now.
So let me see how can we helpother parents.
Janet Hale (25:42):
May I jump in, candace?
I know you have questions.
And he reminded me of somethingwhen COVID came up and I wrote
down.
When he said COVID came by, andI took that literally COVID
came by, covid paid a visit toall of us and in some ways COVID
and I know it's going to sounda little weird, but I'm weird,
(26:04):
so it's okay.
In some ways, covid was a gift,and the reason why I say that
is because for a lot of us, wewere made to sit down, like we
were all made to like sit downright now.
And during that time Candacelived with me and I'll never
forget.
Every time I say I'll neverforget.
(26:25):
She don't remember, but that'sokay.
One day she said Ma, you know,I'm glad COVID came.
I said you glad?
She said yeah, because I'm here.
We're here, ma, and that was sobeautiful because in my home,
before that came down, you knowthe lockdown we were in here and
(26:47):
it was my daughter, mydaughter-in-law and my
granddaughter, the son-in-lawand my son-in-law, yes, and I
got to have a whole newrelationship with him, right.
In a good way, and so COVID didcome by, and I took that as
literally COVID coming by yeahyou know what I mean.
(27:08):
And so COVID.
It provides, I think, somegifts.
Not everyone would agree withthat, and that's okay.
The other thing I wanted to sayum, you talked about you made
your son go to the martial arts,is it?
Michael Pereira (27:24):
Mm-hmm.
Janet Hale (27:24):
Jiu-Jitsu Okay, I'm saying martial arts because I
can never say it right, anywayand I thought when you were
talking and I said, hmm, he'ssaying he made him go and I'm
thinking he chose to be open tothat process because he could
have got in there and bumped hishead and did all kind of you
(27:44):
know what I mean he could havebeen like I do not want to do
this, but it seems likesomething in him made, made a
choice um to do things differentand that you provided him with
so many choices.
You know what I mean kept goinguntil something worked and then,
matched him, and so I thinkthat's awesome.
And the other.
The last thing is a question,okay, and that is do you guys go
(28:10):
to support groups of any sorts?
Are there support groups forfamilies who are dealing with
this that may not be able toafford going to the doctor and
those kinds of things, may nothave the privilege to do that
but are at a lower incomebracket?
Or you know, insurance noteverybody has it.
(28:31):
So a lot of times supportgroups are beneficial and
helpful.
So I was just wondering aboutthat yeah, no, no, we didn't.
Michael Pereira (28:37):
We didn't actually go to support.
We've.
For some time we've tried to doeverything here at home.
Our support, I would say, isaround getting to know my wife
better and she's getting to knowme and see how we can work to
this as a team.
(28:58):
Because it gets to the pointthat if it's a support group, we
thought at one point that it'sgoing to take us away from what
we're trying to do because we'reconcentrating again on how we
feel.
And it came to a point that wejust said what can we do to at
least calm down the situation,and us first?
(29:21):
It's like going on the planeyou want to put your mask first
before helping others.
I just said, okay, what can wedo here at house and our house
first, before going out andlooking for help?
If it's something around, again,denial I talked about
selfishness, but also denial hitmy ego.
Is it around my ego?
(29:43):
I need to understand thatthere's another person in the
house, which is my wife.
She also has an opinion.
She also is seeing somethingthat I may not be seeing.
She's maybe seeing hidden gapsthat I'm not seeing.
So, again, it was to betterunderstand ourselves as
individuals, understandourselves as a marriage,
understand ourselves as parentsand see how we can better
(30:06):
ourselves here at home beforegoing out.
I don't know if that's the bestway.
Again, we're talking aboutsupport and bettering the
environment, not diagnosis.
Obviously, he was alreadydiagnosed and all that.
That's medical part.
But from post-diagnosis thatyou're trying to look for the
best way of handling this newscenario, we just the circle got
(30:31):
smaller and we just dabbleddown and doubled down into each
other and see how we can helphere at home first.
Janet Hale (30:39):
So it sounds like the support system is you and
your wife, is your family, thatyou do have a support group.
Michael Pereira (30:45):
Correct, correct.
Janet Hale (30:45):
That's what.
Michael Pereira (30:46):
I'm trying to say it's not external, it was
more internal, including my, mymom, she's, she's, I would say
she's the best grandmother therethere is.
You know that that's, that'sthe way we we went through that
phase.
Thank you, that's the way wewent through that phase.
Janet Hale (31:02):
Thank you.
Candace Patrice (31:03):
I actually love that.
One of the things that I loveabout this podcast is that we
talk about different ways toheal.
It doesn't have to look likewhat everybody else thinks.
It looks like You'll havepeople who go.
Well, you need to go, get incommunity.
You have to go to therapy, andwhile that does work for some
(31:24):
people maybe many people itdoesn't work for all.
But I think that the mindset ofstarting in the home, asking the
questions of what can I do foryou, what do you need, who are
you, is a very grounding placeto be.
And even when we talk aboutgoing into isolation and being
(31:47):
alone, that's what we're doingwith ourselves.
Sometimes it's asking ourselvesthe questions when they say you
need to get to know yourself.
That's what that is.
It's the reason why I evenstopped watching so much TV,
because I'm like I'm invested ineverybody else's life, or the
scripted life.
And what about my life?
Am I living my life?
(32:08):
So, taking that time to go outand live, and it sounds like by
you making that decision toground your inner home, you're
really creating your own thoughtprocesses that work for you and
(32:30):
it doesn't put you in thebubble of well, we all are doing
it this way, so, or hearingadvice One of the things I
personally I feel like I'm veryimpressionable when I hear
people's thoughts and that'skind of the reason why I pulled
away from listening to people,because I'm like, wait, I was
thinking this, but now I'mthinking this because you said
(32:53):
this and that did sound better.
But as I'm like, but I have myown journey and my own purpose
and God's will for me is notgoing to be the same for you and
even though our situations looksimilar, they're different
because I'm me.
So I just I want to commend youon that.
I think that's awesome and Ihope that you know listeners who
(33:15):
have tried support groups andtherapy and they don't feel like
it's working, that maybe theycan take a different approach
and go within themselves, withintheir home, especially if they
have that support of a partner.
Michael Pereira (33:29):
Yeah, and a hundred, no, a hundred percent.
And something that I see a lotand I think it happened to me at
one point.
Maybe I didn't see it, but theservices I offer at you know,
they use more of the financialservices.
And the other day I was in oneof the classes with Christian
(33:51):
and one of the parents therestarted talking to him and his
son also is on the spectrum andI said, hey, how is so-and-so
and how is this going?
And we have trust so I can talkto him and all his mother is
handling that.
And I said, okay, perfect.
(34:12):
I told him man, bro, it'sincredible that you know your
sales commission and you don'tknow your son's progress.
Very good, and he stayedlooking at me.
I said you can know yourquarterly quota, you can know
your sales commission, you knowall this, and you don't know
(34:33):
your son's progression.
Man, what's happening?
And I think that that couldhave happened to me.
But the majority of people thatI see that they seek therapy and
in this case, our supportgroups, they think they're going
.
It's like they're in cruisecontrol, but they're going the
wrong way.
Oh and and and.
When I started talking to himand he's saying, like, man, you
(34:56):
know it's, it's, it's, it's trueand I, I see that a lot.
I see that there's a lot ofpeople that talk I don't really
know this.
Yeah, it's true, we're doingthis, this and this and this I
said, but if you just take thetime that you, it seems like
you're again going on cruisecontrol and you think you're
going the right way, gasoline,and you're going to open ocean,
(35:22):
right, and I see that a lot thatagain, they may not be seeing
these hidden spots, these gaps,but it could have happened to me
as well, but that's somethingthat I see a lot that there's no
recognition, there's no peopleseem that they're not.
Candace Patrice (35:44):
They're hearing you but they're not listening.
Right, that was so powerfulwhat you just said.
You know your sales quota, butyou don't know your son's
progression.
That part I wanted to cry.
I did hold it in Mm.
Hmm, wow, wow, okay, okay.
Janet Hale (36:03):
Well, I'm not on camera, so I can cry.
Candace Patrice (36:09):
So I know you spoke early, early on about a
special needs trust.
I have a question and thenquestion.
Michael Pereira (36:35):
And so were you the breadwinner of your home.
And what was that transitionlike?
To step out on faith or whatdid?
And I just think about justreplacing her.
She's really the breadwinner,right, because if I wouldn't, be
, a friend, a wife, apsychologist, a chef.
(36:56):
You know it's a lot of rolesthat she does.
So I just don't like sayingthat I was a breadwinner.
But in regards to income, yes.
The reason why I took the leapof faith.
I think there was a lot offactors.
When I started looking forother employers to see if I can
do the same travel less I thinkthere's a lot of factors.
(37:18):
One, I was not in the rightmindset because my concerns, my
worries, were more on the familyside.
Secondly, when you're going toa startup, sometimes you go into
one thing and you're doing alot of things and again it came
to a point that we needed topart ways because I wasn't in
(37:39):
the right mindset.
So I would say this forced meto be able to just take the leap
of faith and say, hey, if I'mgoing to do this healing and
acceptance, and let me see if Ican do it.
Also, at the same time,providing services.
Where I saw the gap, which iswhen I said, hey, every time I
(38:01):
went to a financial advisor,everybody wanted to sell me
something or recruit me.
So I wanted to see if I canfill that gap of being more
comprehensive and not thattransactional.
So we focus on three main areasand what I'm going to explain is
going to answer your questionabout the special needs dress.
So we focus on comprehensiveinsurance planning.
(38:24):
We don't do financial planningbecause we don't do investments.
I only focus on insurance.
And, by the way, there's nosecret sauce.
There's no secret product.
Whatever you acquire from me,you can acquire from another
agent.
So sometimes on social mediathere's a lot of exaggeration
and hoax to bring you in andseem something special.
(38:47):
There's nothing special.
The only thing is we'reapplying old school products to
a problem statement.
So these problem statements arethree.
One is income protectionstrategy.
Why?
Because if Christian depends onme or my family depends on me a
hundred percent and I getcancer, I get into, I have a
(39:09):
stroke or get into a caraccident, I'm two years out.
I need a replacement for myincome.
I want to concentrate onrecuperating and not concentrate
on how I'm going to pay thehouse.
So there's something that we dowhich is a strategy to see how
we can provide disability incomeinsurance.
Sometimes employers offershort-term, long-term disability
(39:30):
, but usually they fall short towhat you would actually need.
So that's the first one.
Second one is using lifeinsurance to fund a special
needs trust, and I would saythat's in combination with the
attorney.
The attorney is the one thathelps you with the trust.
(39:50):
We just use life insurance tofund it.
So there's a lot of ways tofund a special needs trust.
You can use real estate,brokerage accounts, savings, but
for me that fluctuates, so Ijust want to have something
predictable.
As long as you pay the premiums, the term is going to be there.
So using a life insurance tofund a special needs trust.
(40:13):
And the third one would belong-term care strategy.
Why?
Because, again, I don't knowuntil when Christian is going to
depend on me.
I don't know until whenChristian is going to depend on
me.
If later on, around 80, I'm 85,and I need help for myself, an
assisting living facility, anursing home they're becoming
very expensive.
You want to have a coveragethat can cover those expenses
(40:35):
later on because, again, I don'tknow if Christian can take care
of me.
I come from Puerto Rico.
In Puerto Rico you see a lot offamilies that live together All
the grandma.
Everybody's here in the Statesis different.
I come from Puerto Rico andPuerto Rico you see a lot of
families that live together onthe ground.
Everybody's here in the Statesis different.
So that long term care strategytackles that area.
So those are the three areas wefocus on and again, there's no
(40:56):
secret product, we're justapplying it to a problem
statement.
So Okay, so okay.
Hopefully I answered Nice.
Candace Patrice (41:11):
Oh, okay, so with the, how does life
insurance fund a trust?
Michael Pereira (41:20):
Well, a trust is a document, that it's a legal
document that you do with anattorney that basically has your
wishes, has a lot of stuff.
But when it comes to specialneeds and again I'm not an
attorney this is something thatyou would need to support an
attorney.
If that family receives let'ssay, for example, christian and
(41:41):
my wife, let's say I have apolicy and they receive the
proceeds right.
Let's say, if Christian wouldhave any government benefits, by
default the family isconsidered high income earner
because they received this chunkof money, so all those benefits
would be cut off because he'shigh income earner.
(42:03):
But if it's in the specialneeds trust and the funds go
there, that money is notconsidered as ordinary income.
Candace Patrice (42:13):
What so should we all be doing this?
I know there's a special needstrust but can you do that in a
non-special needs?
Michael Pereira (42:25):
trust.
Yeah, of course there'sstrategies there.
Anybody who is online and, forexample, wants to know a little
bit more.
If it's more on the legal side,I can refer to a legal firm
which I believe servesnationwide, firm which I believe
serves nationwide.
And if it's more on theinsurance side, but there's a
(42:46):
lot of strategies families cando in that regard.
Right, because there's alltheir benefits that trust has.
If there's any asset protectionand so forth.
And there's regular familiesthat don't have trust receive
life insurance more.
From a tax perspective, they'regood because it's tax-free, but
I'm talking about benefits.
If there's any benefits thatthe child has let.
Tax perspective, they're goodbecause it's tax-free, but I'm
talking about benefits.
If there's any benefits thatthe child has.
Let's say they're takingtherapy because of medicaid or
(43:08):
something they.
It may be a jeopardy if theyreceive all that lump sum
because you're considered nowhigh income earner, right.
So there's a lot of things.
Again, there's no one size fitsall, um.
So that's why I wanted to dothe comprehensive insurance
planning, because it's reallybased on the family.
It depends.
Candace Patrice (43:29):
So what is a comprehensive insurance plan?
Michael Pereira (43:32):
Exactly what we're talking about.
It's not just okay, buy apolicy, for example.
Let me give you an example.
When I started looking, I said,hey, but what if I get cancer?
And the guy said, hey, just buya policy that if you die, your
family receives a milliondollars.
I said, perfect, but what if Idon't die?
What happens?
(43:53):
Oh well, that's something, andhe didn't talk to me about that.
So comprehensive insuranceplanning just sees the full
holistic view and says, ok, youalready have this, you need this
.
So you can basically make surethat you build a foundation
because the three areas I talkedabout income would cater to.
(44:14):
If you're disabled you don'tdie, life insurance to fund the
special needs If you, if you die, long term care if you don't
die early stages but you dielater on.
So you're catering each area asyou go in life.
Candace Patrice (44:30):
Oh, that makes sense.
So do you sell the product?
Michael Pereira (44:37):
The insurance yes.
Candace Patrice (44:38):
You sell the insurance.
So if somebody wanted to know,OK, before I even ask that, do
you only deal with special needsinsurance policies or all
insurance policies?
Michael Pereira (44:51):
That's what I'm saying.
There's no secret product.
There's no secret sauce Like aterm policy can be sold to
anybody.
I'm just applying it to thespecial needs trust, but I can
attend anybody who I request inservices.
Of course, the only thing is Ifocus on families and special
needs, because I see that thisis an underserved community,
(45:14):
that these type of conversationsdon't happen often.
So my focus is like, forexample, I'm my customer, that's
what I'm saying.
My profile is the same customerI cater to.
Candace Patrice (45:27):
Got you your avatar?
Yeah, exactly.
Michael Pereira (45:31):
So I'm my type of client, that family, you know
who has a diagnosis, that isjust trying to plan for the
future the best way.
It's just trying to plan forthe future the best way and
really plan like using insurance, because I would say it's one
of the cheapest way to mitigatea lot of risk.
Candace Patrice (45:51):
So if someone wanted to get a comprehensive
life insurance policy with you,how would they go about doing
that?
Michael Pereira (46:02):
They can go to the website.
You can click our services.
It's going to be there Give usthe website again.
Yeah, of course,wwwtheautismvoyagecom.
And, for example, like Imentioned, there's no one size
fits all.
If there's more complexplanning, like there's now
(46:23):
investments, there's now otherthings I would just refer it out
to maybe an investment manageror wealth manager.
If it's more on the legal side,like I mentioned, the example I
just gave you for the specialneeds trust that's just as a
reference.
Nobody should take it as legaladvice.
But they should have thisconversation with a lawyer
(46:44):
because each family is different, right?
So if they want to talk aboutinsurance planning, they can
just go to the website, put theservices.
I can by all means have a callwith anybody, just understand
their scenario and see wherethey want to get you and based
on that again, I would attendthem or refer them out.
Candace Patrice (47:03):
Are there any fees for having that
consultation?
Michael Pereira (47:07):
With me.
No, like any other agent, thereshouldn't be, I would say, any
fee for life insurance, but no.
Candace Patrice (47:13):
You hear that people no fees.
So if someone's charging you gorun the other way.
Don't cruise in the wrongdirection there you go.
Janet Hale (47:24):
I know that um some.
Michael Pereira (47:26):
Some lawyers, I believe, charge for the first
I've seen I've seen lawyers thatsay, okay, the first
consultation is free, or theothers you will need to pay this
.
But when it's life insurance, Ihaven't heard of of anybody
charged for that conversation.
Candace Patrice (47:44):
Did you have any questions, mom?
Janet Hale (47:47):
No, I enjoyed everything that you said and I
love talking about financialliteracy, not just for dealing
with special needs, but period.
We all need to take a look atthat and while you were talking,
I was like I need to do this, Ineed to do this, I need to do
that, and I just think.
Talking, I was like I need todo this, I need to do this and I
(48:10):
just think it's good.
Michael Pereira (48:11):
All the way around, I think everything that
we're talking about is just goodfor everyone?
Yeah, I think so.
I think so, and some of the Iwould say misconceptions or
mistakes I see is that waitingtoo long?
When you're talking aboutinsurance, I would say, and in
particular life insurance fordisability or anything it gets
more expensive as time passesbecause you're getting older,
(48:32):
there's more probability of youhaving something or getting
something or an unexpected eventhappening.
So what I would recommend,parents, is that if you already
have concerns about the future,if, for example, this moment,
you cannot sign a check, a blankcheck with your family, if
(48:54):
something were to happen to you,this is the type of
conversation you should have andyou shouldn't feel pressure to
move forward, but you shouldfeel pressure to gain knowledge,
to understand where moveforward, but you should feel
pressure to gain knowledge Tounderstand where you are, where
you should be.
Janet Hale (49:09):
Yeah, I think you should be pressured to move, but
let's get it done, because wecan talk for days, years, even
years even for days, years, evenyears.
Candace Patrice (49:28):
Even so, we're going to wrap up, but is there
anything else that you want toshare with the listeners?
We touched on a lot of.
I don't know how we managed tohit so much in this timeframe,
but we did.
Is there anything you want toshare with families dealing with
children of special needs?
Any suggestions or advice youwant to give?
(49:49):
Is there any other financialliteracy information you want to
share?
Just take this time to giveyour last thoughts.
Michael Pereira (49:57):
Yeah.
So I'm going to share with youguys a link so the listeners
here, if interested, they're inspecial needs.
I created a checklist.
That checklist helps familiesto really really think about
their scenario.
So you're going to checkmarkwhat you have, what you don't
have, but at least it shows youwhat you may not know.
So I'm going to share that linkso people can see it.
(50:20):
But the only thing I would sayis that there's a quote that I
think her name is Ginny Rometty.
She's the former CEO of IBM.
She said that growth andcomfort cannot coexist and I
think that if you want to becomfortable, don't expect growth
(50:41):
, and if you want to grow, don'texpect to be comfortable.
So I would say that's one ofthe quotes I love.
And again, it's Jeannie Rometty, I think.
Yeah, that's the main.
She's a former CEO of IBM.
Janet Hale (50:57):
You are dropping so many spiritual bones in this
conversation, sir.
And I want to thank you, sir,for all of it.
Thank you for being here andfor all the listeners and for
Candice and I.
Thank you very much.
Candace Patrice (51:12):
That quote actually is very needed for me
right now, in this moment,because some things are real
uncomfortable as I'm trying togrow Mm-hmm, I'm trying to grow.
Janet Hale (51:24):
I do want to share something about excuse me, about
the uncomfortable part.
So, there was a conversationhad with me I hadn't even shared
this with Candace and theconversation went like this
Janet, where are you?
Because who you're representingis not Janet.
(51:45):
And that is not cool for theculture.
I'm going to curse a little bit.
So all you people, you know theperson said because we don't do
that phony shit here, and thatwas so uncomfortable you guys
don't even understand Like youtalk about the ego and I was
like, oh, I was so deflated Iwas saying wait a minute.
But, um, the person wasabsolutely correct.
(52:08):
I'm 61 years old and it tookthat conversation, that very
uncomfortable conversation, forme to realize that there was a
certain certain part of me thatwas still caught up in the
perception of others and notabout my authentic self.
And I promise you it took metwo days to heal from that
(52:29):
conversation.
But it also brought me back tome and it's a conversation that
Candice and I have.
Sometimes she's like Ma, youknow, we get on the podcast.
Your voice changed and I waslike, hmm, and I noticed at
certain meetings my voicechanged.
Guess what?
This is my voice.
This is Janet and I love me.
I hope you love me too.
And, yes, the uncomfortablespaces is the spaces from which
(52:52):
I grow.
Michael Pereira (52:55):
And that quote just showed me.
Hey, just decide what you want,but you can't have both.
They live in a gray yeah,because it's it's, it says it it
cannot coexist.
You cannot grow and be and youknow comfort, growth and comfort
that do not coexist.
Candace Patrice (53:13):
So you know you really don't no, even as my
daughter is growing literallyphysical pains um in her body
because she's growing when ourteeth, when they come in, they
hurt.
Everything that's growing hurts.
It's not comfortable.
Michael Pereira (53:32):
No.
So I would say that's what Iwould love to leave the
listeners to just digest.
It took me some time, but yeah,it helped me a lot.
Candace Patrice (53:43):
Thank you, thank you for that.
If you are someone you know isstruggling, you can always call
or text the Suicide PreventionLifeline at 988.
And if you are just looking forsafe places, as we've been
reminded today, sometimes ittakes to go within.
Go within yourself.
(54:04):
Go within your home, get toknow yourself better, get to
know your partner better, get toknow your children better.
They are not you.
Your children are individualswith their own minds, with their
own thought processes, and eventhough we are guiding them that
is what we are doing we areguiding them they are not living
(54:28):
our lives.
They will have such a differentoutcome.
So foster a safe place for yourchildren as best you can, but
learn how to be in safe placesfor yourself as well.
So, whatever that looks likethat might look like therapy,
that might look like a lifecoach, that may look like church
, that may look like friendship,that may look like family, it's
(54:52):
going to look different.
So don't look for a one-stopshop that fits everybody.
Listen to your gut, follow yourit will.
It is a reason that you havethe feelings that you have
within yourself.
So, um, yeah, I wanted to leaveyou all with that.
And, of course, you can followme at candicepatrice underscore
(55:15):
em on instagram.
Essential motivation.
On facebook, you can go to thewebsite essentialmotivationcom
and you can email atCandiceFleming.
At essentialmotivationcom.
There will be links at thebottom of the show that you can
click for myself, janet andMichael to get all of this
(55:37):
beautiful information.
Continue to trust yourself,guys.
Yeah, so, as we always leave,remember to love hard, forgive
often and laugh frequent.
Thank you, guys, so much.
Thank you listeners and adiosthank you.
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