December 5, 2024 • 57 mins
It's Therapy Thursday!!
Amazing Soul's journey of healing will inspire anyone feeling trapped by their own pain. After two decades of crippling lower back pain, she discovered a transformative path of introspection that changed everything. By embracing her pain as a teacher, she uncovered her purpose through a deep understanding of personal patterns and limiting beliefs. Her story is a testament to the power of inner work, as illustrated by the poignant lyrics of Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror," urging us all to start with the person we see every day.
Throughout our conversation, we explore how simplicity, fun, compassion, and kindness can transform lives when approached with a childlike mindset. Imagine breaking free from the chains of resistance by making small, playful changes in daily routines that disrupt ingrained thought patterns. Amazing Soul discusses the incredible concept of neuroplasticity, which shows us that our brains can change and evolve when approached with compassion and understanding. We share anecdotes that highlight the importance of revisiting early belief systems to foster genuine transformation, always emphasizing the need for empathy and self-compassion in this journey of self-discovery.
The heart of our episode is the celebration of childlike qualities and the power of curiosity over judgment. With profound stories and metaphors, we encourage listeners to "Feel Everything And Relax," confronting fears with ease and nurturing the playful spirit within. The joy and innocence of embracing one's inner child are coupled with the wisdom needed to navigate adulthood's challenges. Together, we create a vision of a universe where self-change ripples outward, creating a world filled with love and light. Join us as we embark on this journey of empowerment, acceptance, and growth, forging paths to self-discovery and healing with open hearts.
Amazing Soul,
Amazing Soul is a mindset transformation guide, author, and founder of The Mind FCK Co, a movement dedicated to helping women leaders unlock their potential through fun, compassion, and kindness.
After overcoming years of physical and emotional challenges, Amazing Soul now empowers women leaders to embrace self-acceptance, reframe their inner narrative, and cultivate a life filled with purpose and joy.
Through storytelling and authentic connection, they inspire audiences to explore the human experience with curiosity, courage, and love.
Founder,
The Mind FCK Co.,
FCK (Fun••Compassion••Kindness)
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/wonu-alese
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theamazingsoulmento
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
visit the website at https://www.essentialmotivation.com/
visit the store at https://shopessentialmotivation.com/
Instagram instagram.com/essentialmotivationllc
visit Janet's website https://haleempowermentllc.com/
To be a guest on our show email me at candacefleming@essentialmotivation.com
In the subject line put EMH Guest
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 988
Music by Lukrembo: https://soundcloud.com/lukrembo
P
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Candace Patrice (00:01):
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing.
A little AMS, asmr, crap.
I'm just not getting thingsright today.
I really wanted to try that.
Okay, this is where we are Setyour intentions for today.
(00:22):
Okay, that was me trying to dothe sound effects.
My daughter has me doing that,but of course, joining me today
is my lovely co-host, jonatalia.
How are you doing I?
Janet Hale (00:36):
am doing great, Candice.
Hello, hello, hello.
Candace Patrice (00:40):
Wonderful, wonderful, and we have an
amazing guest today.
You're going to see what I didthere Amazing, amazing soul.
I'm just saying, hi, beautiful,hi.
Thank you guys so much forhaving me.
Yes, how are you today?
(01:01):
It's a beautiful day to bealive, thank you.
You know that statement is one Irepeated on Thursday, and I
repeated it because I was at theLions game and the Lions won
and I was like wow, what a timeto be alive.
But and I was sharing thesentiment with people behind me
(01:21):
Like the Lions, I don't thinkhas won a thanksgiving game
since either 16 or 18, somewherearound then.
So we were really excited and Ithink we're like 11 and 1 now
and that's a real thing for us.
Like my father passed in 21,but I guarantee you he was
probably revived a couple timesthis year with the lions.
(01:42):
So sitting sitting next to meand that was you know.
We've been exploring this Lionsgame together, this journey of
excellence, but amazing.
First of all, I love your name,Amazing Soul.
That is so beautiful.
Janet Hale (01:58):
I was just going to say can you say her name.
Candace Patrice (02:00):
I was going to play on words.
Janet Hale (02:04):
Y'all got me on.
I'm supposed to be on words.
Y'all got me on.
I'm supposed to be part of thewhole thing Because I'm like
looking around.
Candace Patrice (02:12):
I'm like wait a minute Beautiful name.
Would, you tell us a little bitabout yourself.
Introduce yourself and tell usabout your name.
Is that your given name?
Is that your chosen name?
Like amazing soul, tell usabout you.
Amazing Soul (02:27):
Thank you First of all.
Thank you guys so much forhaving me.
That's a beautiful question.
So a little bit about me.
My birth name is Wanu.
The full thing is Omo Wonu Ola,meaning a child born into
wealth.
(02:47):
Um, I was born and raised inNigeria, but Amazing Soul was a
chosen name.
It was a.
It was a name that came throughto me once I was forced to go
within myself.
It was a name that came throughonce I experienced 20 years of
excruciating lower back pain.
It was a name that came throughto me once I started to realize
(03:10):
that this pain served as mypurpose.
It was a name given to me whenI started to realize that pain
was my teacher.
It was a name given to me whenI started to realize that all
the answers that we seek in lifeonce we can start to go within
ourselves and I started toembody that and it's something
(03:32):
that, once I started to realizemy why, the how, just started to
show itself.
I didn't have to try, so I goby Wonu or Amazing Soul.
I'm not very attached to namesor concepts, but you know this
journey of my life was.
(03:52):
I neglected my pain for a very,very long time.
I chased success outside of me.
I chased freedom outside of me.
I chased wealth or money outsideof me, but I was missing
something.
I was missing going withinmyself, until pain, pain, pain,
(04:13):
pain, and I'm thinking this painin this moment forced me to my
knees and made me look into themirror, to drop the blame game,
to drop the victim mindset.
I realized that this pain, onceI can start to give it space,
that was the key to transformingmy life.
And here I am today sharingwith people, especially women
(04:37):
leaders, that whatever you'reseeking in life, whether it's
wealth, freedom, happiness, it'snot outside of you and no
matter what you do, no matterwhat zeros you have in your bank
account or what relationshipsyou have, it's never going to
fill that void until you startto embrace your feelings and
emotion but, most importantly,start to become aware of your
(04:58):
patterns.
We all have patterns, limitingbeliefs, stories you've told
yourself.
But once you can start to slowdown and really pay attention to
how you feel the patternsrepeating itself in your life,
that's when the transformationwill start.
Candace Patrice (05:15):
But yeah, that's essentially what led me
here, at pain um, when you saidthat the starting with you, I
was in the car the other day andI was listening to Michael
Jackson's man in the mirror and,yes, I've heard the words
before.
I've sang the song before, butit hit a little different
because now, like you said, I'mlooking within for the answers.
(05:38):
And so, for anyone who doesn'tknow the song, the verse is I'm
starting with the man in themirror, I'm asking him to change
his ways, and no message couldhave been any clearer.
If you want to make the world abetter place, take a look at
yourself and then make a change.
And I don't know why it hits.
(06:02):
I almost wanted to cry listeningto that song recently, like,
wow, what a difference the worldcould be if we all looked
within ourselves and started thechange there.
We don't have to, like we saywe can only control what's
within our powers.
We can't control other peopleand what they do.
But everybody, if everybodyjust said I'm gonna make a
(06:26):
change and we all showed up thatway, oh my, it got so big in my
head, and so the electricitywas so great because I could
really imagine.
It's almost like I hadtransformed myself to a
different universe, a universeof love and light, where
everyone had did the workthemselves and showed up
(06:49):
starting with the man in themirror.
It was really deep for me.
It was really I don't know whatplanet or universe I was in,
but it was nice.
I was there for all of likethree minutes and it was so nice
.
So thank you for that, thankyou for acknowledging how the
pain helped you go within wetalk about.
(07:14):
Our podcast is really onhealing those pains, whether
they're physical pains,emotional pain, mental pain, and
each person finds a way to dothings in the path that's for
them and it may not look the waythat someone else's looks.
(07:35):
Even as a coach and I recentlywas sharing with someone you
know just different biblicalprinciples and some of my story,
but at the end of the day Itell them you know you have to
get those answers for yourself.
If you're rooted in the Bibleand that's where you go then go
read it and see how it manifestsin your life.
I was reading it and I readsomewhere that, well, I read in
(07:58):
the Bible that Jesus wasmanifested to do a lot of things
.
And I heard that word manifestand I was like, wait a minute.
This word has come up so muchright now and if Jesus was
manifested to do certain things,then of course we have the
power to manifest differentthings into our lives.
(08:19):
We just really have to believeit.
Faith of a mustard seed movingmountains, it's all
interconnected in our minds.
It's there and, oh my goodness,I know that that's something
that you work with people aswell.
Can you tell us a little bitabout your mindset journey, how
that plays into where you aretoday and how you help?
Amazing Soul (08:42):
others along that way.
So the mindset journey so godbecame man, so that man can
become god?
Um, so I know you talked aboutjesus early on.
(09:04):
I will answer that question,but you talked about jesus
earlier.
Jesus came to earth, you know,to show us what it really to
have embody that christconsciousness.
So it showed us like possiblefor you to mirror who jesus
really was.
So hence the reason why I saidyou know man jesus came to.
Came to earth to show you thatyou can be God and in reverse.
(09:28):
So my mindset journey and how Ihelp others.
I'm very big on simplicity, so Ibreak it down to three simple
things fun, compassion andkindness.
You see, most of us take lifeso goddamn seriously and I think
(09:53):
that's the core of what I teachpeople or guide people back to
themselves.
You have to start to approachlife in a childlike manner.
You know just the five-year-oldversion of yourself.
If that five-year-old versionof yourself fail, it's not
thinking like, oh, you knowpeople are going to judge me.
(10:14):
It's just like, oh, I fail, youknow I'm having fun with it.
And just opening your heart tothat childlike version of
yourself is so powerful Becauseat that point in your life there
was no resistance.
You were just living life inthe moment.
But over time, you let go ofthat present moment, which
(10:39):
that's where all the answers are.
So how I start to approach mymindset is because most of us
want to let go of limitingbeliefs.
But the challenge is because ofthe way our brains are
structured.
It's wired for complexity.
If you approach your brains totransform your brain or your
mind, and you're approaching itin a very serious manner, you're
(11:02):
going to create more resistance.
So this is where how I approachit Start to approach your brain
in a very fun way.
So I will share this.
Right, I don't know if you knowthis, but you have about 70 to
80,000 thoughts every day thatrun through your mind.
Yeah, an average of 70 to80,000 thoughts.
(11:25):
I'm definitely up there with110, 120,.
Candace Patrice (11:28):
You know.
Amazing Soul (11:33):
If you people were like you know, I want to change
my life, I want to transform mylife, but it's not happening.
The reason why is because ofthe stories that have been
hardwired into your subconsciousmind.
So if you want to change yourlife and you have the same
thoughts, there is no way onearth that your life is going to
transform.
Because here is how your mindworks your thoughts create your
(11:55):
belief system and your beliefsystem create your reality.
If you don't like your realityor what you're seeing, go back
to the stories.
Go back to your thoughts.
So how do you interrupt yourbrain with those thoughts that
are already hardwired?
It's simple, fun.
There's something calledneuroplasticity.
Now for you to break out of it.
You cannot approach your brainlike, oh, I want to stop smoking
(12:18):
today.
Um, no, you've been smoking forseven, eight years.
Candace Patrice (12:21):
There's no way you're just going to drop
smoking.
Amazing Soul (12:31):
So you have to start small.
So this is what I teach peopleStart to break the pattern.
How do you break the patternwhen you have the kids yourself,
your business?
It's okay, baby steps.
If you brush your teeth withyour right hand, brush your
teeth with your left hand it wasyou.
Candace Patrice (12:49):
You're the one who told me to do something
different.
I've literally been doing, I'vebeen taking different routes,
or I?
I usually open my office fromthe right, in a circle around,
and one day I was like I wastalking to someone and they told
me to do things a littledifferent and I went the
opposite way.
It was so strange.
I was like this is wrong.
(13:12):
But I was like it's not wrong,it's different and you have to
rewind literally since we hadthat talk, I have literally
started making little smallthings.
I'm like just do it a littledifferent, because when you're
not doing it different, nowyou've created this pattern
that's consistent and you'realways going to get the same
results because you're doing thesame things.
(13:32):
So I've been changing smallthings.
Oh, my goodness, it was you.
Amazing Soul (13:37):
You're the teacher .
Candace Patrice (13:40):
You're the teacher.
You're the teacher, you're theteacher.
Yes, I'm sorry.
Okay, I couldn't hold that in.
Amazing Soul (13:48):
Yeah, oh my God, I've been trying to find out who
told me this.
Candace Patrice (13:52):
I'm like I want to tell them I did it.
I'm doing it.
Amazing Soul (13:55):
I'm proud of you, thank you, yeah, but it's so, so
powerful, wow.
Once you can start to interruptthose stories, your brain has
to bring in something new intoyour reality, because your brain
is wired to keep you safe, nothappy.
It has to do everything to keepyou safe.
And the more you interruptthose stories, it has to bring
(14:18):
something else.
Once you can start to realizehow powerful your mind is, you
will start to pay more attentionto the stories.
And once you interrupt, now letme tell you how your brain
works.
Your brain, once you ask it whydo I think?
Money is a limited resource.
It has to bring you an answer.
Where did I get that story fromHalf the time?
(14:38):
I don't know if you know this,but your subconscious belief
system is formed from zero toseven.
Yes, but your subconsciousbelief system is formed from
zero to seven.
Yes.
If you see something traumaticthat happens to you at that age
and you doesn't get addressed,you will keep repeating the same
pattern over and over into youradulthood, until you go back to
your childhood.
What did I see mommy and daddydo?
What did I see on tv at thatage?
(14:59):
And start to interrupt thatstory.
That's how you break out ofthat limiting money, belief
system, relationships, yourself.
That's where the transformationtruly starts.
But you have to have fun withit.
That's when that whole babysteps interrupts and the pattern
comes into play.
So fun addressing yourself withcompassion and kindness, this
(15:22):
healing journey.
You have to be kind, you haveto be compassionate because
guess what?
You don't know what you don'tknow.
You don't know what you don'tknow, and it's okay.
It's okay, we're all figuringthis whole life thing together
and once you can start to becompassionate and kind to
yourself and have fun whileyou're doing it, transformation
(15:42):
has no choice than to start toappear in your life.
But yeah, fun, compassion,kindness and interrupting your
stories in your brain.
It's so simple, very simple.
Candace Patrice (15:54):
You know you're , you're really, you're putting
me on fire, you're putting heron fire and she's mad that I'm
talking.
You gotta jump in there.
Look, you gotta jump in there.
(16:14):
She hit a period.
I was like, oh, opportunity,double dutch, double dutch.
I see so much is happening, butgo ahead, because I know you
haven't had an opportunity.
Janet Hale (16:27):
Well, because, thank you, thank you very much,
candice, when you were speakingabout how pain is your gift,
because I think that's what yousaid and I know, prior to us
getting on here, the word paincame up, and I know, prior to us
getting on here, the word paincame up and how powerful pain
(16:48):
can be and is in our change.
But let's not be afraid of it,because sometimes that pain will
show up and folks go to runningWhoa, I got to get out of here
Opposed to sitting in it, yes,and understanding it and that
childlike thing.
(17:08):
I don't think I ever let thatpart go even though.
Whatever I mean, because Ibelieve in that, I'm the hippie
of the hippies of the hippies,and that's part of it.
It's free thinking, also beingchildlike.
I love being childlike.
There's something about thatthat just turns me on
(17:31):
spiritually, although I'm notreligious, but that's all in
that story If you listen to anyof these other podcasts.
Candace Patrice (17:37):
Real quick, real quick, real.
But real quick, real quick,real, real quick, in 30 seconds,
real quick or less.
Can you explain what that termmeans, because I don't think a
lot of people they hear you sayit and it's not really
understood.
What I'm not religious meansyou said 30.
Janet Hale (17:56):
Oh, that's why you were saying 30 seconds, 30, 30,
30, 30 seconds.
Okay.
What that means simply is thatI do not subscribe to organized
religion.
That's simply what it means.
Period Does it mean that I donot believe in God or higher
(18:19):
power Because people say Allah,whatever, that's fine, hey, do
your thing.
But I respect those things.
I respect other people's beliefsystems.
I respect how they get to wherethey need to get.
However, I don't believe in theway OK, she's telling me 33
seconds.
Oh, I don't believe in the Wait.
(18:40):
Okay, she's telling me 33seconds.
Okay, oh, I have 30 seconds.
Candace Patrice (18:43):
You didn't see the whole timer going on.
The Did I get it out, did youget?
Janet Hale (18:48):
it.
Candace Patrice (18:49):
Yeah, I think we got it.
I think it's important that weactually recap that at least
once or twice a season, becausethere are people who jump in and
it can be misconstrued when yousay that it can come across as
atheist sometimes.
So I think it's important tojust acknowledge what that is
sometimes and everybody may notget it or hear it in the episode
(19:10):
, but I I know what it is and Iknow that it can come across
different, so I just wanted tohave it on the podcast.
There we go, thank you, okay,in quote, go ahead, finish what
you were saying there me or.
I interrupted you on the I'm notokay, yes, okay.
Janet Hale (19:33):
And staying in my childlike moment and allowing
the little Janet to be allowedto play and have fun.
Because she's allowed, because,guess what, I can protect her
now Because I have the tools todo it.
Like, little Janet, step out,do it, okay, and then big Janet
(19:59):
when it's time for Big Janet, Igot you.
Because, see, I know one thingabout Little Janet, though
Sometimes I have to, you know,kind of help her out, because
sometimes she be out there andI'll be like, look, baby, I got
you.
But we can't do that In thismoment.
(20:20):
We just need to chill a littlebit.
So I love that that you talkabout the having fun as we go
along, as we go through thisjourney, and one of the things
that I talk about I live on thisearth to live, not to die while
I'm walking, to live, not todie while I'm walking.
And I don't know if thatresonates with others out there,
(20:43):
the millions of people that arelistening.
But there definitely is adifference and I'm not going to
go into all that, but that youknow you're speaking to the
child within that.
Most folks don't even realizethat that person or that child
(21:05):
is speaking and you're hushinghim or her up.
Allow her or him to come up andout, whatever that is, because
sometimes that's a source ofyour pain.
Listen to her, because she'sthere to say, look, look, hold
on Because, see, there's somestuff here we haven't dealt with
(21:26):
and I need to deal with it.
So I need you to mature enoughto take care of me.
So let's do this.
You know, I want to take amoment to honor my parents
really fast.
Let's do this.
Candace Patrice (21:35):
You know I want to take a moment to honor my
parents really fast, becausewhen I was a kid, my dad was the
example of childlike To thepoint.
I mean like he loved lights.
Lights was so big Christmaslights, lights on t-shirts,
(21:57):
lights and shoes, lights on likejust lights, and I used to be
like daddy like.
But it was this childlikeinnocence that went with the
lights.
It was also this non caringwhat other people thought it was
.
I like lights, I'm going towear lights and I'm going to
look at lights.
I'm a chase lights Cause it'salmost like a puppy chasing the
(22:18):
car, like so.
And I remember reading thatpart in the Bible when it talked
about that and I immediatelywent to my father and I
immediately went it's OK to havethat childlike.
Now, my mom as a child didn'thave the opportunity to show her
childlike because there wereother things that needed to be
done, things needed to move, soshe didn't have the luxury of
(22:41):
doing that at that time.
But now my dad is gone, my momdoesn't have to hold so much
weight, not because my dad isgone but she doesn't have to
carry so much weight and now herchild like qualities get to
come out and sometimes she'd bereal.
I mean, oops, um, we, um.
(23:03):
Yeah, my dad had lights on hishat, like there were just lights
.
Okay, I went and cleaned outhis storage after he passed and
and a friend of mine literallytook out out the storage light
bulbs there were just lights.
There were lights for the bike.
She was like what are some goodlights?
(23:23):
Why are there so many lights?
But now I find myself wantingto kind of illuminate the space.
And there was just many lights.
My dad just.
I just wanted to acknowledgethat for the childlike.
So thank you for continuing toshow up childlike as an adult
mom and I know that comes acrossweird, but know that I mean it
(23:47):
from the greatest place.
And I'm grateful that I have myfather, who was able to do that
as well, for me to bring that asa full, complete person and
continue to grow and continue tolearn.
So in this moment, I honor you.
Janet Hale (24:01):
Thank you.
Now.
Where do we go right?
Where do?
Candace Patrice (24:06):
we go from here .
Janet Hale (24:09):
I know I have a lot of stuff.
Okay, let's do it.
Amazing Soul (24:14):
I wanted to add something to what you said.
First of all, it's so beautifulto see that you're truly
embracing your childlike version, and so it's very.
It really warmed my heart theway you're expressing.
I could feel her through you,so thank you.
So fear does not prevent death,fear prevents life itself.
(24:39):
So, for anyone listening, Iwould love to shift your
perspective on fear.
There's this acronym thatreally helped me on my journey.
If you want to write it down,if you're listening, fear means
feel everything and relax.
Yes, feel everything.
Janet Hale (24:57):
Oh, I read it, I read it feel everything.
Amazing Soul (25:06):
Oh, I read it.
I read it the more you feelinto that and lean into it and
relax and consciously tell yourmind to relax into those
emotions.
That's how you transcend thatfear.
It's so stupid, simple, but itworks, because now the
perception of fear is not sothis scary thing anymore.
It's like feel everything andrelax into it.
But yeah, I just thought I'dadd that to the conversation on
fear.
Candace Patrice (25:25):
No continue.
Janet Hale (25:26):
Thank you, but you reminded me of something with
Candace.
Now she just was born.
Beyonce said I woke up likethis, she was born like this.
Oh, thanks to say I woke uplike this, he was born like this
.
But they had made me forgetwhat I oh, one of the things she
was very young.
(25:46):
One day she was like Mom.
You know why I don't lie.
I promise you this is going tosound weird, but it's true.
These stories are true stories,everybody.
And so I said why you don't lie?
I said okay, you know, I'mlistening.
She said because if I tell thetruth, what's it going to do to
(26:09):
me?
Kill me or something?
Why you don't kill me fortelling the truth.
So that's why I don't lie.
I said now, this is a childtalking to her mom.
Candace Patrice (26:21):
Who was not perfect and did tell a lie here
and there me, I'm sure, here andthere yeah, but you're.
Janet Hale (26:28):
Yeah, I get that, but I also got the other part,
which was you were not walkingaround fearful of all kind of
things.
You know that sometimes, youknow you may fumble the ball if
you will, but I'm not afraid tosay mama.
And you wasn't either, just soyou know, because you would come
(26:49):
talk to me and have realauthentic, honest conversations
and sometimes hard conversations, and we both lived through them
and we came out in love.
So that's something that younglady said when she was a kid to
her mother I want to and I'llnever forget it.
(27:11):
I want to give the personactually I learned from it, but
she wants to talk I know I wantto give the perspective on this.
Candace Patrice (27:16):
We talk, talk about mindset development, but
if there are any parentslistening, it's creating that
safety at home.
Because, in order for me not tohave fear out in the world, I
had to know that it was safe athome that, no matter what, they
came back and said that I wouldstill have that safety at home
between my mother and me.
I wasn't the one going don'tcall my mama.
(27:37):
I was like call my mama, callmy daddy, y'all they can't call
me.
You gonna see you wrong becauseI'm telling my mama okay, all
right, now she's going somewhere.
Janet Hale (27:48):
I'm so sorry, anyway , um and she's saying that in a
way that could be perceived alittle different.
When we did show up, we showedup with kindness, yes, with
understanding, with open ears.
Candace Patrice (28:02):
However, we stood there having her back
which did not come withoutconsequence at times when needed
.
Sometimes, however, however, weneed it right, we need it.
Janet Hale (28:13):
However, when we showed up, we showed up for her.
Yes, there's a difference Thanjust showing up, but we showed
up for her and yes, she'scorrect.
Maybe every now and then therewas a little consequence you
(28:34):
know later, but in front we areher support system.
But she said something.
I don't know if she rememberedthis, but something happened up
at the school when she was inhigh school, and you know, we
asked her.
You know, did this happen?
Because we believed her?
And she said no, I didn't do it, and that's all it took for us.
(28:54):
We were just like okay, so herdad, he's the one who had the
more flexibility, we'll put itthat way, because I was working
and doing all those things,however, and he was too, but he
had flexibility.
So he ended up at the schooland Candace was in they were all
together, whatever and theperson was saying Candace had
(29:16):
did a particular thing I don'tremember what it was and
Candace's dad said well, no, shesaid she didn't do it.
I don't know, candace, do youremember this?
Yes, oh, she's doing something,and so, do you remember this?
I didn't realize I was on mute.
Candace Patrice (29:32):
I was saying I remember it because you've told
it, so I don't remember ithappening, but I retell the
story.
Janet Hale (29:40):
Oh, okay, okay, Then I will retell it.
And so, and her dad said itreal nice and he was a real kid,
like kind of a man.
Okay, a joke every five minutes.
We keep saying in heaven, he'sstill.
You know, they're like please,sir, but the guy ended up having
(30:02):
to call her dad, or not havingto, but he chose to call her
father to apologize.
So when we're showing up, yeah.
So, uh, you know, and then toknow the person or the Candace.
Amazing Soul (30:24):
Yes.
Janet Hale (30:25):
To believe in her because she's come to us, yeah,
and it taught us how to trusther.
Amazing Soul (30:34):
Yes, yes.
Janet Hale (30:36):
By being upfront and honest, you know so.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, okay, now Amazing.
Candace Patrice (30:43):
So should I call you amazing, or do I have
to say amazing soul, or do I sayMiss Soul?
Like, how do I say this?
Amazing Soul (30:49):
Amazing soul works , Frank Okay.
Janet Hale (30:55):
Thank you Amazing soul.
Candace Patrice (30:58):
You have a business You're the founder of
am I saying this right?
The mindfuck company yep, sheplayed.
Janet Hale (31:08):
Oh, I saw what you did she played with that that is
so cool.
Amazing Soul (31:14):
Thank you, Candace , it's the mindfuck co, the
mindfuck company.
Fuck stands for fun, compassionand kindness.
Yes.
Candace Patrice (31:24):
And those are the two that you told us about
earlier.
So you transform minds, you doworkshops or coaching.
Tell us a little bit about howyou got into this and how you
help shape different leaders,different women's minds, to make
them their better selves.
Great question.
Amazing Soul (31:43):
Candace.
So, like I said, you know it's,I approach it stupid simple.
So let's just say I have aclient who you know wants to
work with me.
It's 90 days, but I have like apattern that I do.
So the first 30 days is let'sidentify your patterns.
(32:05):
How does your brain think?
Half the time you don't feelsafe in your body.
So we have to create patternsfor you to start to feel safe in
your body.
And that's where theneuroplasticity comes into play.
So we start to identify whatworks for you on how your
patterns come into play.
Now, once we do that approachingwith fun, of course now that
(32:27):
you start to feel some semblanceof safety in your body, because
success to me is a regulatednervous system.
If you don't have a regulatednervous system, you're just
going to keep reacting to life.
So once we have that semblanceof a regulated nervous system,
now we can go back to that childthat's always been speaking to
(32:47):
you See, inner child, thechildlike version of yourself,
is crucial.
It's so crucial to everythingyou seek in life.
I don't care what it is.
If you do not give space forthat inner child, you will keep
running in circles.
(33:07):
But the first thing we got todo create a safe space so that
inner child can come into thatspace and you can start to merge
your brain patterns with thatinner child.
Now, once we can start to dothat, the last part of my
program, which is the last 30days, is you will start to
identify the answers within.
(33:27):
Why do you think the way youthink?
What stories are you tellingyourself?
Why do you think it's notpossible to have a multi-billion
dollar business?
What's limiting you?
If you aim for the moon, youland on the stars.
Why do you have the samerelationships in different
bodies?
There's a pattern.
But once we can start toidentify those patterns, towards
(33:51):
the end of the 90 days, youwill start to answer those
questions yourself, because nowyou've tapped into that
childlike version of yourselfthat there was no resistance,
there was no story, there was nolimiting beliefs and those
answers were already there.
So I try to call it stupid,simple transformation, guiding
you back to yourself.
I'm not telling you what to do,I'm just there leaning you back
(34:12):
to what you already know.
And obviously the premise ofthis is fun, compassion,
kindness, so but yeah, that'sessentially what it is no fluff,
just plain fun and kindness.
Candace Patrice (34:25):
So after the 30 days.
Do people continue to see youor is it over after 30 days?
Would you?
Do you still continue likeone-on-ones after that?
What does that look like afterthe 30 day, after the 90 days?
Amazing Soul (34:38):
90 days, 90 days, 90 days, um, at that point you
know if I'm being, my approachis very it's not um, what's the
(34:59):
word?
It's not very traditional.
Um, I say I kick you the F out.
I mean it when I say evenbefore the end of that 90 days,
you will start to realize whatI'm telling you.
It's not.
I really help you cut throughthe fluff.
You will start to realize thatI didn't even mean amazing souls
to start with.
But hey, so I don't, I don'tlike that enabling culture, like
, oh, you come back to me, Ireally don't.
It's not really how I roll,because I genuinely believe that
(35:20):
you have all the answers.
I'm just guiding you back toyourself, to the front part of
you, so you can start to trustyourself.
You have the tools now.
So what do you need me for?
So no, after 90 days you canreach out to me as a friend, but
I'm no longer that mentor foryou after 90 days.
Candace Patrice (35:35):
That's how often do you, do you meet?
Amazing Soul (35:48):
So it's every week for 90 minutes for 12 weeks.
So I'm very big on that three90, but yeah, 90 minutes every
week, once a week.
But you, you have access to meto ask me questions during that
90 days, if anything comes upduring the week based on the
assignments I give you or thethings I tell you to apply, and
you know.
But yeah.
Candace Patrice (36:04):
Can you fail the course, Like after 90 days?
What if someone?
Or have you noticed thateveryone who's come to you is
usually willing to do the work,and do you only take people who
are willing to do the work?
Do you take anybody Like?
What does your vetting processlook like?
Or is there no vetting process?
It's just?
Amazing Soul (36:25):
show up, sign up tears, my calendar and get on
the schedule.
That's a beautiful question,candice.
You have to apply.
So if you're not willing totake responsibility and
accountability of your life, youcan't work with me.
If you're not willing to havefun, you can't work with me.
And if you're not willing toinvest in your mindset, you
can't work with me.
So it's yeah, there are somethings you have to apply first.
Then we have to see if we're agood match.
(36:47):
Then we can go from there.
Candace Patrice (36:48):
I love that you did the work or are doing the
work yourself and then givingthat out in real life.
To say it's not impossiblebecause I am a product of the
work, like this doesn't comefrom me just believing one thing
and I'm telling you to do it.
I do this every day.
It's consistent and it's adecision that has to be made.
(37:11):
Every day you show up, you wakeup and say today I'm going to
be the best version of myselfbecause I am great and if I
choose to, today's a great day.
Whatever happened yesterday wasjust something that happened
yesterday and whatever's goingto happen in the future is going
to happen in the future.
Like, I can't change it.
I can't, I can't make somethingelse happen.
(37:32):
I was driving and I was likewow, like I really don't know
what the future holds.
I only know what happened inthe past and that I'm living in
the present.
But something could fall outthe sky right now and know it
wasn't planned.
But that's the future.
Yeah, like, at any given point,something could change.
It's also the reason for why weshould forgive and not judge
(37:57):
people, because you never knowwhen someone life's check, when
someone life changes.
Check when someone life changeswhen they make that mental
switch to say, huh, today's theday.
And who are we to say, no, it'snot, because yesterday wasn't
the day.
Yeah, today's a new day.
How can you give somebody thatand then stunt their growth?
Yeah, because you don't believein them.
Yeah, you know which is why wegotta look at the man in the
(38:21):
mirror.
Yeah, okay, yeah, let me addthis.
Amazing Soul (38:24):
There's this quote to shift your perspective on
judgment be curious, notjudgmental, before you judge.
In quote, just be curious, evenif it's not something that
aligns with you.
Just what is this like?
If most of us start to, youknow, just being curious to the
other person, the judgment thingwill let go easily in our minds
(38:45):
, because the logical thing wedo is judge that person.
That person is good or bad orno.
How about let's be?
What's this thing about?
Why does this person act theway they do?
And if you trace back, yes,it's really pain, trauma that
even allows you to open yourheart, to show them compassion.
Once you know where they'recoming from, you know.
But I for one, I try toapproach life to just be curious
(39:08):
on what this person's story is,why they're acting the way
they're acting.
Candace Patrice (39:11):
And go from there.
It takes me back to socialpsychology.
Look at all of the factors ofsocial psychology when they came
from, the people who are aroundthem, their community, their
household surroundings, whatschools they went to, the
friends that they've been around, the things that they've been
(39:31):
exposed to and where there maybe some stunting of growth.
And I've said this story beforebut I'll say it again the kid
(39:51):
who, at four years old, listenedto his parents arguing and
fighting while he was watchingRocky and Bullwinkle, but
developed a stutter from thatday.
And it wasn't until someone wasable to dig like when was the,
what were you doing?
What was the earliest momentyou remember stuttering?
And then for them to go back tothat moment and at that point
(40:15):
begin to speak.
Well, because they'veidentified the roadblocker in
their brain that has caused thistrauma from four years.
Oh, you're living in afour-year-old mindset and you
can't move forward.
That person is now a publicspeaker today and they go around
.
I don't know their name.
(40:35):
I wish I did, because I wouldtotally say it, but if you
search, it was Tony Robbins whotold the story.
Um, so if that was googled,anybody listening just look up.
Tony Robbins helps man stopstuttering or identify
stuttering problem.
Yeah, um, go ahead, mom, youhave a question?
Janet Hale (40:54):
I have a question.
Yeah, um, because I'm, I'm withthis, this judgment thing.
That'm not judging the dope man, I'm not judging the prostitute
, I'm not Because I don't knowyour story of work that I've
(41:16):
done, been in and all that.
And folks at Rookwood, they didA, b and C.
And my question is to theperson because I'm not studying
all that other stuff is what'sgoing on?
Talk to me about what's going on, you know, and sometimes just
(41:38):
that moment allows that personto feel safe enough to say I'm
upset because I saw my fatherslapping my mother before I
walked out for school today andI'm upset about whatever that is
.
So the judgment?
(41:58):
Who are we any of us to judge?
Anybody, because we all have astory, every last one of us have
a story.
And so I remember talking to uhCandace about some things and,
um, and I don't know how it, howwe, how we said it, but the
thing was because she didn'tunderstand, I don't think, some
(42:19):
of my decision and I said haveyou ever wondered?
I'm not sure if it went exactlythis way, but in my mind right
now this is where it's going.
Have you ever wondered whatkind of pain I must have had to
go in order for me to come upwith this decision.
If you follow me, because, likeyou said, that pain is your
(42:40):
teaching, now do you keepwalking into the same pain or
not?
Amazing Soul (43:00):
so I, as we were speaking, what what came through
was um, that's just something Ilearned from oprah people want
to feel seen, heard andempowered.
You know, once you can start toreally give space to people to
feel seen, heard and empowered,they will lower down their
guards and realize that there'sno agenda.
(43:22):
I just see you.
I see you for who you are rightnow, not the past, not the
future.
I just see you and I love youregardless.
I don't care whether you killedsomeone yesterday or you, I
don't care, I just see you.
And that's where healing startsto really happen, because that
unconditional love.
(43:43):
I love you regardless.
That's how people change andtransform, because now there's
no, there's no, there's no guard, there's no.
Oh, you're going to judge mebecause you know I did this in
the past.
Once they see that they letdown their guard, they let down
their, you know, and it's easierfor them to you know, go within
themselves and realize theyhave it already.
(44:04):
They have the key and the toolsto transform their life,
because now you see them for whothey really are.
Janet Hale (44:14):
And I think, thank you.
You made me think of anexercise and I don't know who,
why I can't put a name to it,but um, but I practiced it and
it was very difficult.
It sounds easy, but when doingit it was like, and it was to
stand in a mirror look atyourself until you see yourself.
(44:35):
When I tell you you Miss Janetthe hippie, she was looking,
then she was turning away.
She would look a minute, thenshe'd get distracted.
She'd look a minute, then sheooh, and then she got still with
(44:55):
it and said we're gonna dealwith this, whatever this is.
I didn't have any idea.
And then I saw her and saidwe're going to deal with this,
whatever this is.
I didn't have any idea.
And then I saw her, oh, withher sweet self.
Where did you see her?
But as easy as that sounds, itwas a difficult task.
Candace Patrice (45:24):
Where did you see her first?
You notice yourself from yourbody first did you identify
yourself from your eyes.
Was it your lips?
Do you remember?
Janet Hale (45:32):
it was my eyes.
It was my eyes, it was throughmy eyes.
Candace Patrice (45:37):
For some people it may be too much to start
with the full figure of theirselves.
Janet Hale (45:44):
I didn't go there yet, you said.
Candace Patrice (45:46):
you looked and turned away and looked and
turned away, but sometimesgetting extremely close in the
mirror and just looking yourselfeyeball to eyeball.
At least let me just say I didthis and I saw someone so pretty
in those eyes and every now andthen I try to capture that,
(46:09):
because it was.
You know, they say eyes are thewindows to the soul, and it's
almost as if I saw my whole soulinside of me and she was so
pretty.
So I'm like wait a minute, waita minute, uh.
But then I was able to back upout of myself and begin to see
(46:30):
more of the pretty.
From my eyes.
It began to expand to my lips,to my face, to my neck, to my
breast, to breast, to my thighs,to my everything.
Every part of me became great,became a work of art.
Where I am today, it's sostrange.
I just leave the universe for alittle bit, for a few minutes,
(46:52):
and it's the most beautifulplace to be, and I don't think I
want to live on earth becauseit's ghetto.
It's so ghetto here.
I want to live on earth becauseit's ghetto.
It's so ghetto here.
Amazing Soul (47:03):
And you're not living on earth.
Candace Patrice (47:05):
my love Is it because everybody isn't in the
same universe that I'm in, andso, in order to communicate, to
the humans.
Here I have to come and, youknow, communicate, but then I'll
be like it's a little ghettoy'all.
I'm going back, bye.
Amazing Soul (47:20):
You're the sky.
Everything else is the weather.
It changes.
Remember who you really are,you don't need to do anything,
period.
Candace Patrice (47:31):
Okay, I'm writing that down.
Janet Hale (47:33):
That's your new thing Putting it on the t-shirt.
Candace Patrice (47:37):
Amazing.
Janet Hale (47:39):
You're the sky.
I'm sorry.
Candace Patrice (47:42):
Mufasa said it best Remember who you are
Amazing.
You're the sky.
Mufasa said it best Rememberwho you are.
We're going to have to close up.
This has been so amazing.
I know the time does that to us.
It just keeps going.
You know, mr Jones told us,life moves on, with or without
(48:04):
us, and the time kept going,whether we wanted it to or not.
Be the sky, mother.
Be the sky.
Be the sky.
Janet Hale (48:13):
Why not be in the little den?
I'm sorry and she's having atantrum All right.
Candace Patrice (48:21):
Is it time it is, of course I.
I don't want to, of course,always.
So we talk about pain and wetalk about these journeys, and
not everyone is at a place, in aspace to receive where we are
or what we've done, um, andwe're continuing to do.
I don't ever want to comeacross as if, oh, we figured it
(48:42):
out, no, no, no, we're just on ajourney and on this journey,
this is where we are, and we'vediscovered that these things
work, and they not only work forus, they work for multiple
people and if we can get themessage out and the word out, we
want to help other people toget to this place and continue
moving forward as we continuemoving forward.
Okay, so I absolutely want tosay that, but you need help or
(49:04):
need someone to talk to.
You can call or text thesuicide prevention lifeline at
nine, eight, eight, and that's24 hours, seven days a week.
There are also other resourcesand I'm working on a resource
page on my website so that youall can have access to these
people.
Amazing soul, you'll be able toclick her link Now.
(49:25):
It takes me a minute.
This is a great idea that Ihave because I'm still a work in
progress.
This is a goal I want toachieve at some point.
There is no achievable date onthe books yet, because too much
pressure, I like to live date onthe books yet because too much
pressure, I like to live.
It'll be a little fluid, butknow that I want to do that so
(49:46):
badly.
I want to have a place wherethere are resources for books
and mindset development, coachesor places to be safe, because
we've had so many great guestson our show over the last four
seasons and people should beable to get to you all at any
given time.
And also, remembering this Idon't know why this is coming to
me, but we don't have to holdon to things.
(50:09):
For me to want a resource pagefor you all to be able to go
click somebody else's page, youdon't have to get it from me.
I may not be for you, but thereare so many people here who may
be for you, so I don't everfeel like something will be cut
off because it's not coming tome.
How can I give you more placesto flow?
Let me be a tree with multiplebranches and ways to get to the
(50:34):
green leaves.
It don't have to be this one.
There are multiple differentways Seeds, plant the seeds and
watch the harvest grow.
I'm not going to guard one seedbecause that just might not be
the seed for me, but you can goand get what you need.
So, if it's going back to anold podcast and listening to
somebody else, look at thetopics and see what works for
(50:56):
what you need, because this iswhy we do it.
For you to be say ha, I canrelate.
What did they do to heal?
Amazing Soul (51:03):
Ha, maybe I can try that, and if it doesn't work
, it's okay, Don't stop trying.
Candace Patrice (51:10):
Start from the left instead of the right when
you're opening your office.
Go through Plymouth instead ofgoing through Canton.
Like, try a different way.
Take the streets instead of thefreeway.
It's tell the GPS to give youthe alternative route, the ways
that you haven't, the thingsthat you've avoided.
(51:31):
Go look, see how it's changed.
The world is ever changing andso much of what was hurt and
pain back in the day may not bewhat is today.
Check out that old neighborhood.
It might be rebuilt, it mightbe tore down, we don't know.
But go check it out.
How do you feel?
Have you conquered the feelingthat was there that you've been
(51:51):
holding captive?
Do you need to look back andask yourself the questions why
does this still feel painful 30years later?
Or, wow, this doesn't feelpainful 30 years later.
And I've been holding on tosomething that I did not need to
.
Let it go, be childlike.
Follow your purpose and yourpassion.
(52:14):
Don't hold on to anythingbecause we don't know what the
future holds.
People lose their livesinstantly and it's so hard
because we're tied to someone orsomething.
But be tied to yourself.
Be tied to you because when theexistence of yourself ends, I
(52:34):
mean how much pain you gonnahave depending on your belief
system and all of that.
But what is that belief system?
Acknowledge that, hold on trueto that.
Be who you are in your beliefsystem, even if it goes against
what everybody else believes,because you may have a divine
(52:54):
purpose that is not your own.
Any last words from you guys.
Janet Hale (53:04):
Oh, I just really enjoyed this podcast.
I enjoyed the subject matter.
I enjoyed most of them.
I love all of them.
I enjoy meeting you as well.
It's a pleasure, and one of thethings that I thought about as
we talk about belief systemsthat candace talked about was
and this is not part of ourthing, I don't think, but it
(53:25):
just made, it just came to meand how sometimes, depending on
what your belief systems are,yeah um, it's okay to call upon
our ancestors and let them helpus um, because they live in us.
They, they're in our DNA.
Anyway, I don't know why thatcame up right At the end,
because I don't want the podcastto end.
(53:46):
I know why, but that's okay.
It's okay, it was a pleasure.
Amazing Soul (53:49):
It was a pleasure.
Thank you very much.
Candace Patrice (53:50):
I'll give you your social media handles and
everything where people can findyou and how they can get there.
Okay, they can come to you andapply, okay cool.
Amazing Soul (53:59):
First of all, thank you so much, candice and
Jen, and I truly, trulyappreciate both of you for
creating this amazing space Frommy heart to yours, thank you.
I wanted to add to theconversation and say that, for
anyone listening, I want you tostart to be like a tree.
When you see a tree, you don'tsay this tree is ugly or short
(54:20):
or tall.
We just say be like a tree.
When you see a tree, you don'tsay this tree is ugly or short
or tall, we just say that's atree, that's a very beautiful
tree.
But why is it that as humanbeings, we say, oh, that person
is ugly or pretty, or thatperson's fat or skinny.
So start to shift yourperspective and start to see
people as trees, or includingyourself, and just see people
(54:40):
for what they are.
It will help you mentally todrop that judgmental mindset and
also always remember to just behere now.
If you don't have the answersto what you're looking for, just
be present and probably theanswer might just be staring you
back in the face.
Um, and if you ever want toconnect with me, my social media
(55:03):
handles are the amazing soulmentor on all social media
platforms and my website is themindfuckcocom and I am sending
any beautiful person listeningright now.
Never forget to have fun.
Show yourself compassion andkindness.
Thank you, guys, so much forreally having me on here.
(55:23):
I truly appreciated sharingthis time with you thank you for
reaching out and wanting to bea guest.
Candace Patrice (55:30):
Thank you, um, these paths needed to cross.
I've learned so much from youin the short amount of time that
I've had to get to know you andbe with you, and I'm going to
forever be able to take some ofthese tools that you've given me
, and I'll continue to followyour path as well, to take more
(55:52):
tools and give more tools andallow me to be a resource to you
as well whenever needed.
So, thank you, thank you, thankyou as well whenever needed.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou, of course, everybody.
You can find me atessentialmotivationcom.
On the website, you can leaveany feedback.
We actually have the textfeature now.
So from the website, you cantext any information, any
(56:16):
comments, any thoughts orsubject matters that you want to
hear.
It'll come directly to me.
So, looking forward to that,you can email me at
CandiceFleming atEssentialMotivationcom.
Instagram is CandicePatriceunderscore EM.
I haven't shut down the otherInstagram because I hold on to
(56:39):
things.
So's again, that's just a realthing.
But please follow the InstagramCandicePatrice underscore em.
I am so grateful.
I am so grateful, everybody.
Thank you for listening, thankyou for liking, thank you for
sharing, thank you for beinghere with our amazing guests.
I love saying that Amazing soul, yes, and always remember to
(57:04):
love hard, forgive often andlaugh frequent.
Janet Hale (57:10):
Bye guys, bye-bye baby.
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing.
A little AMS, asmr, crap.
I'm just not getting thingsright today.
I really wanted to try that.
Okay, this is where we are Setyour intentions for today.
(00:22):
Okay, that was me trying to dothe sound effects.
My daughter has me doing that,but of course, joining me today
is my lovely co-host, jonatalia.
How are you doing I?
Janet Hale (00:36):
am doing great, Candice.
Hello, hello, hello.
Candace Patrice (00:40):
Wonderful, wonderful, and we have an
amazing guest today.
You're going to see what I didthere Amazing, amazing soul.
I'm just saying, hi, beautiful,hi.
Thank you guys so much forhaving me.
Yes, how are you today?
(01:01):
It's a beautiful day to bealive, thank you.
You know that statement is one Irepeated on Thursday, and I
repeated it because I was at theLions game and the Lions won
and I was like wow, what a timeto be alive.
But and I was sharing thesentiment with people behind me
(01:21):
Like the Lions, I don't thinkhas won a thanksgiving game
since either 16 or 18, somewherearound then.
So we were really excited and Ithink we're like 11 and 1 now
and that's a real thing for us.
Like my father passed in 21,but I guarantee you he was
probably revived a couple timesthis year with the lions.
(01:42):
So sitting sitting next to meand that was you know.
We've been exploring this Lionsgame together, this journey of
excellence, but amazing.
First of all, I love your name,Amazing Soul.
That is so beautiful.
Janet Hale (01:58):
I was just going to say can you say her name.
Candace Patrice (02:00):
I was going to play on words.
Janet Hale (02:04):
Y'all got me on.
I'm supposed to be on words.
Y'all got me on.
I'm supposed to be part of thewhole thing Because I'm like
looking around.
Candace Patrice (02:12):
I'm like wait a minute Beautiful name.
Would, you tell us a little bitabout yourself.
Introduce yourself and tell usabout your name.
Is that your given name?
Is that your chosen name?
Like amazing soul, tell usabout you.
Amazing Soul (02:27):
Thank you First of all.
Thank you guys so much forhaving me.
That's a beautiful question.
So a little bit about me.
My birth name is Wanu.
The full thing is Omo Wonu Ola,meaning a child born into
wealth.
(02:47):
Um, I was born and raised inNigeria, but Amazing Soul was a
chosen name.
It was a.
It was a name that came throughto me once I was forced to go
within myself.
It was a name that came throughonce I experienced 20 years of
excruciating lower back pain.
It was a name that came throughto me once I started to realize
(03:10):
that this pain served as mypurpose.
It was a name given to me whenI started to realize that pain
was my teacher.
It was a name given to me whenI started to realize that all
the answers that we seek in lifeonce we can start to go within
ourselves and I started toembody that and it's something
(03:32):
that, once I started to realizemy why, the how, just started to
show itself.
I didn't have to try, so I goby Wonu or Amazing Soul.
I'm not very attached to namesor concepts, but you know this
journey of my life was.
(03:52):
I neglected my pain for a very,very long time.
I chased success outside of me.
I chased freedom outside of me.
I chased wealth or money outsideof me, but I was missing
something.
I was missing going withinmyself, until pain, pain, pain,
(04:13):
pain, and I'm thinking this painin this moment forced me to my
knees and made me look into themirror, to drop the blame game,
to drop the victim mindset.
I realized that this pain, onceI can start to give it space,
that was the key to transformingmy life.
And here I am today sharingwith people, especially women
(04:37):
leaders, that whatever you'reseeking in life, whether it's
wealth, freedom, happiness, it'snot outside of you and no
matter what you do, no matterwhat zeros you have in your bank
account or what relationshipsyou have, it's never going to
fill that void until you startto embrace your feelings and
emotion but, most importantly,start to become aware of your
(04:58):
patterns.
We all have patterns, limitingbeliefs, stories you've told
yourself.
But once you can start to slowdown and really pay attention to
how you feel the patternsrepeating itself in your life,
that's when the transformationwill start.
Candace Patrice (05:15):
But yeah, that's essentially what led me
here, at pain um, when you saidthat the starting with you, I
was in the car the other day andI was listening to Michael
Jackson's man in the mirror and,yes, I've heard the words
before.
I've sang the song before, butit hit a little different
because now, like you said, I'mlooking within for the answers.
(05:38):
And so, for anyone who doesn'tknow the song, the verse is I'm
starting with the man in themirror, I'm asking him to change
his ways, and no message couldhave been any clearer.
If you want to make the world abetter place, take a look at
yourself and then make a change.
And I don't know why it hits.
(06:02):
I almost wanted to cry listeningto that song recently, like,
wow, what a difference the worldcould be if we all looked
within ourselves and started thechange there.
We don't have to, like we saywe can only control what's
within our powers.
We can't control other peopleand what they do.
But everybody, if everybodyjust said I'm gonna make a
(06:26):
change and we all showed up thatway, oh my, it got so big in my
head, and so the electricitywas so great because I could
really imagine.
It's almost like I hadtransformed myself to a
different universe, a universeof love and light, where
everyone had did the workthemselves and showed up
(06:49):
starting with the man in themirror.
It was really deep for me.
It was really I don't know whatplanet or universe I was in,
but it was nice.
I was there for all of likethree minutes and it was so nice
.
So thank you for that, thankyou for acknowledging how the
pain helped you go within wetalk about.
(07:14):
Our podcast is really onhealing those pains, whether
they're physical pains,emotional pain, mental pain, and
each person finds a way to dothings in the path that's for
them and it may not look the waythat someone else's looks.
(07:35):
Even as a coach and I recentlywas sharing with someone you
know just different biblicalprinciples and some of my story,
but at the end of the day Itell them you know you have to
get those answers for yourself.
If you're rooted in the Bibleand that's where you go then go
read it and see how it manifestsin your life.
I was reading it and I readsomewhere that, well, I read in
(07:58):
the Bible that Jesus wasmanifested to do a lot of things
.
And I heard that word manifestand I was like, wait a minute.
This word has come up so muchright now and if Jesus was
manifested to do certain things,then of course we have the
power to manifest differentthings into our lives.
(08:19):
We just really have to believeit.
Faith of a mustard seed movingmountains, it's all
interconnected in our minds.
It's there and, oh my goodness,I know that that's something
that you work with people aswell.
Can you tell us a little bitabout your mindset journey, how
that plays into where you aretoday and how you help?
Amazing Soul (08:42):
others along that way.
So the mindset journey so godbecame man, so that man can
become god?
Um, so I know you talked aboutjesus early on.
(09:04):
I will answer that question,but you talked about jesus
earlier.
Jesus came to earth, you know,to show us what it really to
have embody that christconsciousness.
So it showed us like possiblefor you to mirror who jesus
really was.
So hence the reason why I saidyou know man jesus came to.
Came to earth to show you thatyou can be God and in reverse.
(09:28):
So my mindset journey and how Ihelp others.
I'm very big on simplicity, so Ibreak it down to three simple
things fun, compassion andkindness.
You see, most of us take lifeso goddamn seriously and I think
(09:53):
that's the core of what I teachpeople or guide people back to
themselves.
You have to start to approachlife in a childlike manner.
You know just the five-year-oldversion of yourself.
If that five-year-old versionof yourself fail, it's not
thinking like, oh, you knowpeople are going to judge me.
(10:14):
It's just like, oh, I fail, youknow I'm having fun with it.
And just opening your heart tothat childlike version of
yourself is so powerful Becauseat that point in your life there
was no resistance.
You were just living life inthe moment.
But over time, you let go ofthat present moment, which
(10:39):
that's where all the answers are.
So how I start to approach mymindset is because most of us
want to let go of limitingbeliefs.
But the challenge is because ofthe way our brains are
structured.
It's wired for complexity.
If you approach your brains totransform your brain or your
mind, and you're approaching itin a very serious manner, you're
(11:02):
going to create more resistance.
So this is where how I approachit Start to approach your brain
in a very fun way.
So I will share this.
Right, I don't know if you knowthis, but you have about 70 to
80,000 thoughts every day thatrun through your mind.
Yeah, an average of 70 to80,000 thoughts.
(11:25):
I'm definitely up there with110, 120,.
Candace Patrice (11:28):
You know.
Amazing Soul (11:33):
If you people were like you know, I want to change
my life, I want to transform mylife, but it's not happening.
The reason why is because ofthe stories that have been
hardwired into your subconsciousmind.
So if you want to change yourlife and you have the same
thoughts, there is no way onearth that your life is going to
transform.
Because here is how your mindworks your thoughts create your
(11:55):
belief system and your beliefsystem create your reality.
If you don't like your realityor what you're seeing, go back
to the stories.
Go back to your thoughts.
So how do you interrupt yourbrain with those thoughts that
are already hardwired?
It's simple, fun.
There's something calledneuroplasticity.
Now for you to break out of it.
You cannot approach your brainlike, oh, I want to stop smoking
(12:18):
today.
Um, no, you've been smoking forseven, eight years.
Candace Patrice (12:21):
There's no way you're just going to drop
smoking.
Amazing Soul (12:31):
So you have to start small.
So this is what I teach peopleStart to break the pattern.
How do you break the patternwhen you have the kids yourself,
your business?
It's okay, baby steps.
If you brush your teeth withyour right hand, brush your
teeth with your left hand it wasyou.
Candace Patrice (12:49):
You're the one who told me to do something
different.
I've literally been doing, I'vebeen taking different routes,
or I?
I usually open my office fromthe right, in a circle around,
and one day I was like I wastalking to someone and they told
me to do things a littledifferent and I went the
opposite way.
It was so strange.
I was like this is wrong.
(13:12):
But I was like it's not wrong,it's different and you have to
rewind literally since we hadthat talk, I have literally
started making little smallthings.
I'm like just do it a littledifferent, because when you're
not doing it different, nowyou've created this pattern
that's consistent and you'realways going to get the same
results because you're doing thesame things.
(13:32):
So I've been changing smallthings.
Oh, my goodness, it was you.
Amazing Soul (13:37):
You're the teacher .
Candace Patrice (13:40):
You're the teacher.
You're the teacher, you're theteacher.
Yes, I'm sorry.
Okay, I couldn't hold that in.
Amazing Soul (13:48):
Yeah, oh my God, I've been trying to find out who
told me this.
Candace Patrice (13:52):
I'm like I want to tell them I did it.
I'm doing it.
Amazing Soul (13:55):
I'm proud of you, thank you, yeah, but it's so, so
powerful, wow.
Once you can start to interruptthose stories, your brain has
to bring in something new intoyour reality, because your brain
is wired to keep you safe, nothappy.
It has to do everything to keepyou safe.
And the more you interruptthose stories, it has to bring
(14:18):
something else.
Once you can start to realizehow powerful your mind is, you
will start to pay more attentionto the stories.
And once you interrupt, now letme tell you how your brain
works.
Your brain, once you ask it whydo I think?
Money is a limited resource.
It has to bring you an answer.
Where did I get that story fromHalf the time?
(14:38):
I don't know if you know this,but your subconscious belief
system is formed from zero toseven.
Yes, but your subconsciousbelief system is formed from
zero to seven.
Yes.
If you see something traumaticthat happens to you at that age
and you doesn't get addressed,you will keep repeating the same
pattern over and over into youradulthood, until you go back to
your childhood.
What did I see mommy and daddydo?
What did I see on tv at thatage?
(14:59):
And start to interrupt thatstory.
That's how you break out ofthat limiting money, belief
system, relationships, yourself.
That's where the transformationtruly starts.
But you have to have fun withit.
That's when that whole babysteps interrupts and the pattern
comes into play.
So fun addressing yourself withcompassion and kindness, this
(15:22):
healing journey.
You have to be kind, you haveto be compassionate because
guess what?
You don't know what you don'tknow.
You don't know what you don'tknow, and it's okay.
It's okay, we're all figuringthis whole life thing together
and once you can start to becompassionate and kind to
yourself and have fun whileyou're doing it, transformation
(15:42):
has no choice than to start toappear in your life.
But yeah, fun, compassion,kindness and interrupting your
stories in your brain.
It's so simple, very simple.
Candace Patrice (15:54):
You know you're , you're really, you're putting
me on fire, you're putting heron fire and she's mad that I'm
talking.
You gotta jump in there.
Look, you gotta jump in there.
(16:14):
She hit a period.
I was like, oh, opportunity,double dutch, double dutch.
I see so much is happening, butgo ahead, because I know you
haven't had an opportunity.
Janet Hale (16:27):
Well, because, thank you, thank you very much,
candice, when you were speakingabout how pain is your gift,
because I think that's what yousaid and I know, prior to us
getting on here, the word paincame up, and I know, prior to us
getting on here, the word paincame up and how powerful pain
(16:48):
can be and is in our change.
But let's not be afraid of it,because sometimes that pain will
show up and folks go to runningWhoa, I got to get out of here
Opposed to sitting in it, yes,and understanding it and that
childlike thing.
(17:08):
I don't think I ever let thatpart go even though.
Whatever I mean, because Ibelieve in that, I'm the hippie
of the hippies of the hippies,and that's part of it.
It's free thinking, also beingchildlike.
I love being childlike.
There's something about thatthat just turns me on
(17:31):
spiritually, although I'm notreligious, but that's all in
that story If you listen to anyof these other podcasts.
Candace Patrice (17:37):
Real quick, real quick, real.
But real quick, real quick,real, real quick, in 30 seconds,
real quick or less.
Can you explain what that termmeans, because I don't think a
lot of people they hear you sayit and it's not really
understood.
What I'm not religious meansyou said 30.
Janet Hale (17:56):
Oh, that's why you were saying 30 seconds, 30, 30,
30, 30 seconds.
Okay.
What that means simply is thatI do not subscribe to organized
religion.
That's simply what it means.
Period Does it mean that I donot believe in God or higher
(18:19):
power Because people say Allah,whatever, that's fine, hey, do
your thing.
But I respect those things.
I respect other people's beliefsystems.
I respect how they get to wherethey need to get.
However, I don't believe in theway OK, she's telling me 33
seconds.
Oh, I don't believe in the Wait.
(18:40):
Okay, she's telling me 33seconds.
Okay, oh, I have 30 seconds.
Candace Patrice (18:43):
You didn't see the whole timer going on.
The Did I get it out, did youget?
Janet Hale (18:48):
it.
Candace Patrice (18:49):
Yeah, I think we got it.
I think it's important that weactually recap that at least
once or twice a season, becausethere are people who jump in and
it can be misconstrued when yousay that it can come across as
atheist sometimes.
So I think it's important tojust acknowledge what that is
sometimes and everybody may notget it or hear it in the episode
(19:10):
, but I I know what it is and Iknow that it can come across
different, so I just wanted tohave it on the podcast.
There we go, thank you, okay,in quote, go ahead, finish what
you were saying there me or.
I interrupted you on the I'm notokay, yes, okay.
Janet Hale (19:33):
And staying in my childlike moment and allowing
the little Janet to be allowedto play and have fun.
Because she's allowed, because,guess what, I can protect her
now Because I have the tools todo it.
Like, little Janet, step out,do it, okay, and then big Janet
(19:59):
when it's time for Big Janet, Igot you.
Because, see, I know one thingabout Little Janet, though
Sometimes I have to, you know,kind of help her out, because
sometimes she be out there andI'll be like, look, baby, I got
you.
But we can't do that In thismoment.
(20:20):
We just need to chill a littlebit.
So I love that that you talkabout the having fun as we go
along, as we go through thisjourney, and one of the things
that I talk about I live on thisearth to live, not to die while
I'm walking, to live, not todie while I'm walking.
And I don't know if thatresonates with others out there,
(20:43):
the millions of people that arelistening.
But there definitely is adifference and I'm not going to
go into all that, but that youknow you're speaking to the
child within that.
Most folks don't even realizethat that person or that child
(21:05):
is speaking and you're hushinghim or her up.
Allow her or him to come up andout, whatever that is, because
sometimes that's a source ofyour pain.
Listen to her, because she'sthere to say, look, look, hold
on Because, see, there's somestuff here we haven't dealt with
(21:26):
and I need to deal with it.
So I need you to mature enoughto take care of me.
So let's do this.
You know, I want to take amoment to honor my parents
really fast.
Let's do this.
Candace Patrice (21:35):
You know I want to take a moment to honor my
parents really fast, becausewhen I was a kid, my dad was the
example of childlike To thepoint.
I mean like he loved lights.
Lights was so big Christmaslights, lights on t-shirts,
(21:57):
lights and shoes, lights on likejust lights, and I used to be
like daddy like.
But it was this childlikeinnocence that went with the
lights.
It was also this non caringwhat other people thought it was
.
I like lights, I'm going towear lights and I'm going to
look at lights.
I'm a chase lights Cause it'salmost like a puppy chasing the
(22:18):
car, like so.
And I remember reading thatpart in the Bible when it talked
about that and I immediatelywent to my father and I
immediately went it's OK to havethat childlike.
Now, my mom as a child didn'thave the opportunity to show her
childlike because there wereother things that needed to be
done, things needed to move, soshe didn't have the luxury of
(22:41):
doing that at that time.
But now my dad is gone, my momdoesn't have to hold so much
weight, not because my dad isgone but she doesn't have to
carry so much weight and now herchild like qualities get to
come out and sometimes she'd bereal.
I mean, oops, um, we, um.
(23:03):
Yeah, my dad had lights on hishat, like there were just lights
.
Okay, I went and cleaned outhis storage after he passed and
and a friend of mine literallytook out out the storage light
bulbs there were just lights.
There were lights for the bike.
She was like what are some goodlights?
(23:23):
Why are there so many lights?
But now I find myself wantingto kind of illuminate the space.
And there was just many lights.
My dad just.
I just wanted to acknowledgethat for the childlike.
So thank you for continuing toshow up childlike as an adult
mom and I know that comes acrossweird, but know that I mean it
(23:47):
from the greatest place.
And I'm grateful that I have myfather, who was able to do that
as well, for me to bring that asa full, complete person and
continue to grow and continue tolearn.
So in this moment, I honor you.
Janet Hale (24:01):
Thank you.
Now.
Where do we go right?
Where do?
Candace Patrice (24:06):
we go from here .
Janet Hale (24:09):
I know I have a lot of stuff.
Okay, let's do it.
Amazing Soul (24:14):
I wanted to add something to what you said.
First of all, it's so beautifulto see that you're truly
embracing your childlike version, and so it's very.
It really warmed my heart theway you're expressing.
I could feel her through you,so thank you.
So fear does not prevent death,fear prevents life itself.
(24:39):
So, for anyone listening, Iwould love to shift your
perspective on fear.
There's this acronym thatreally helped me on my journey.
If you want to write it down,if you're listening, fear means
feel everything and relax.
Yes, feel everything.
Janet Hale (24:57):
Oh, I read it, I read it feel everything.
Amazing Soul (25:06):
Oh, I read it.
I read it the more you feelinto that and lean into it and
relax and consciously tell yourmind to relax into those
emotions.
That's how you transcend thatfear.
It's so stupid, simple, but itworks, because now the
perception of fear is not sothis scary thing anymore.
It's like feel everything andrelax into it.
But yeah, I just thought I'dadd that to the conversation on
fear.
Candace Patrice (25:25):
No continue.
Janet Hale (25:26):
Thank you, but you reminded me of something with
Candace.
Now she just was born.
Beyonce said I woke up likethis, she was born like this.
Oh, thanks to say I woke uplike this, he was born like this
.
But they had made me forgetwhat I oh, one of the things she
was very young.
(25:46):
One day she was like Mom.
You know why I don't lie.
I promise you this is going tosound weird, but it's true.
These stories are true stories,everybody.
And so I said why you don't lie?
I said okay, you know, I'mlistening.
She said because if I tell thetruth, what's it going to do to
(26:09):
me?
Kill me or something?
Why you don't kill me fortelling the truth.
So that's why I don't lie.
I said now, this is a childtalking to her mom.
Candace Patrice (26:21):
Who was not perfect and did tell a lie here
and there me, I'm sure, here andthere yeah, but you're.
Janet Hale (26:28):
Yeah, I get that, but I also got the other part,
which was you were not walkingaround fearful of all kind of
things.
You know that sometimes, youknow you may fumble the ball if
you will, but I'm not afraid tosay mama.
And you wasn't either, just soyou know, because you would come
(26:49):
talk to me and have realauthentic, honest conversations
and sometimes hard conversations, and we both lived through them
and we came out in love.
So that's something that younglady said when she was a kid to
her mother I want to and I'llnever forget it.
(27:11):
I want to give the personactually I learned from it, but
she wants to talk I know I wantto give the perspective on this.
Candace Patrice (27:16):
We talk, talk about mindset development, but
if there are any parentslistening, it's creating that
safety at home.
Because, in order for me not tohave fear out in the world, I
had to know that it was safe athome that, no matter what, they
came back and said that I wouldstill have that safety at home
between my mother and me.
I wasn't the one going don'tcall my mama.
(27:37):
I was like call my mama, callmy daddy, y'all they can't call
me.
You gonna see you wrong becauseI'm telling my mama okay, all
right, now she's going somewhere.
Janet Hale (27:48):
I'm so sorry, anyway , um and she's saying that in a
way that could be perceived alittle different.
When we did show up, we showedup with kindness, yes, with
understanding, with open ears.
Candace Patrice (28:02):
However, we stood there having her back
which did not come withoutconsequence at times when needed
.
Sometimes, however, however, weneed it right, we need it.
Janet Hale (28:13):
However, when we showed up, we showed up for her.
Yes, there's a difference Thanjust showing up, but we showed
up for her and yes, she'scorrect.
Maybe every now and then therewas a little consequence you
(28:34):
know later, but in front we areher support system.
But she said something.
I don't know if she rememberedthis, but something happened up
at the school when she was inhigh school, and you know, we
asked her.
You know, did this happen?
Because we believed her?
And she said no, I didn't do it, and that's all it took for us.
(28:54):
We were just like okay, so herdad, he's the one who had the
more flexibility, we'll put itthat way, because I was working
and doing all those things,however, and he was too, but he
had flexibility.
So he ended up at the schooland Candace was in they were all
together, whatever and theperson was saying Candace had
(29:16):
did a particular thing I don'tremember what it was and
Candace's dad said well, no, shesaid she didn't do it.
I don't know, candace, do youremember this?
Yes, oh, she's doing something,and so, do you remember this?
I didn't realize I was on mute.
Candace Patrice (29:32):
I was saying I remember it because you've told
it, so I don't remember ithappening, but I retell the
story.
Janet Hale (29:40):
Oh, okay, okay, Then I will retell it.
And so, and her dad said itreal nice and he was a real kid,
like kind of a man.
Okay, a joke every five minutes.
We keep saying in heaven, he'sstill.
You know, they're like please,sir, but the guy ended up having
(30:02):
to call her dad, or not havingto, but he chose to call her
father to apologize.
So when we're showing up, yeah.
So, uh, you know, and then toknow the person or the Candace.
Amazing Soul (30:24):
Yes.
Janet Hale (30:25):
To believe in her because she's come to us, yeah,
and it taught us how to trusther.
Amazing Soul (30:34):
Yes, yes.
Janet Hale (30:36):
By being upfront and honest, you know so.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, okay, now Amazing.
Candace Patrice (30:43):
So should I call you amazing, or do I have
to say amazing soul, or do I sayMiss Soul?
Like, how do I say this?
Amazing Soul (30:49):
Amazing soul works , Frank Okay.
Janet Hale (30:55):
Thank you Amazing soul.
Candace Patrice (30:58):
You have a business You're the founder of
am I saying this right?
The mindfuck company yep, sheplayed.
Janet Hale (31:08):
Oh, I saw what you did she played with that that is
so cool.
Amazing Soul (31:14):
Thank you, Candace , it's the mindfuck co, the
mindfuck company.
Fuck stands for fun, compassionand kindness.
Yes.
Candace Patrice (31:24):
And those are the two that you told us about
earlier.
So you transform minds, you doworkshops or coaching.
Tell us a little bit about howyou got into this and how you
help shape different leaders,different women's minds, to make
them their better selves.
Great question.
Amazing Soul (31:43):
Candace.
So, like I said, you know it's,I approach it stupid simple.
So let's just say I have aclient who you know wants to
work with me.
It's 90 days, but I have like apattern that I do.
So the first 30 days is let'sidentify your patterns.
(32:05):
How does your brain think?
Half the time you don't feelsafe in your body.
So we have to create patternsfor you to start to feel safe in
your body.
And that's where theneuroplasticity comes into play.
So we start to identify whatworks for you on how your
patterns come into play.
Now, once we do that approachingwith fun, of course now that
(32:27):
you start to feel some semblanceof safety in your body, because
success to me is a regulatednervous system.
If you don't have a regulatednervous system, you're just
going to keep reacting to life.
So once we have that semblanceof a regulated nervous system,
now we can go back to that childthat's always been speaking to
(32:47):
you See, inner child, thechildlike version of yourself,
is crucial.
It's so crucial to everythingyou seek in life.
I don't care what it is.
If you do not give space forthat inner child, you will keep
running in circles.
(33:07):
But the first thing we got todo create a safe space so that
inner child can come into thatspace and you can start to merge
your brain patterns with thatinner child.
Now, once we can start to dothat, the last part of my
program, which is the last 30days, is you will start to
identify the answers within.
(33:27):
Why do you think the way youthink?
What stories are you tellingyourself?
Why do you think it's notpossible to have a multi-billion
dollar business?
What's limiting you?
If you aim for the moon, youland on the stars.
Why do you have the samerelationships in different
bodies?
There's a pattern.
But once we can start toidentify those patterns, towards
(33:51):
the end of the 90 days, youwill start to answer those
questions yourself, because nowyou've tapped into that
childlike version of yourselfthat there was no resistance,
there was no story, there was nolimiting beliefs and those
answers were already there.
So I try to call it stupid,simple transformation, guiding
you back to yourself.
I'm not telling you what to do,I'm just there leaning you back
(34:12):
to what you already know.
And obviously the premise ofthis is fun, compassion,
kindness, so but yeah, that'sessentially what it is no fluff,
just plain fun and kindness.
Candace Patrice (34:25):
So after the 30 days.
Do people continue to see youor is it over after 30 days?
Would you?
Do you still continue likeone-on-ones after that?
What does that look like afterthe 30 day, after the 90 days?
Amazing Soul (34:38):
90 days, 90 days, 90 days, um, at that point you
know if I'm being, my approachis very it's not um, what's the
(34:59):
word?
It's not very traditional.
Um, I say I kick you the F out.
I mean it when I say evenbefore the end of that 90 days,
you will start to realize whatI'm telling you.
It's not.
I really help you cut throughthe fluff.
You will start to realize thatI didn't even mean amazing souls
to start with.
But hey, so I don't, I don'tlike that enabling culture, like
, oh, you come back to me, Ireally don't.
It's not really how I roll,because I genuinely believe that
(35:20):
you have all the answers.
I'm just guiding you back toyourself, to the front part of
you, so you can start to trustyourself.
You have the tools now.
So what do you need me for?
So no, after 90 days you canreach out to me as a friend, but
I'm no longer that mentor foryou after 90 days.
Candace Patrice (35:35):
That's how often do you, do you meet?
Amazing Soul (35:48):
So it's every week for 90 minutes for 12 weeks.
So I'm very big on that three90, but yeah, 90 minutes every
week, once a week.
But you, you have access to meto ask me questions during that
90 days, if anything comes upduring the week based on the
assignments I give you or thethings I tell you to apply, and
you know.
But yeah.
Candace Patrice (36:04):
Can you fail the course, Like after 90 days?
What if someone?
Or have you noticed thateveryone who's come to you is
usually willing to do the work,and do you only take people who
are willing to do the work?
Do you take anybody Like?
What does your vetting processlook like?
Or is there no vetting process?
It's just?
Amazing Soul (36:25):
show up, sign up tears, my calendar and get on
the schedule.
That's a beautiful question,candice.
You have to apply.
So if you're not willing totake responsibility and
accountability of your life, youcan't work with me.
If you're not willing to havefun, you can't work with me.
And if you're not willing toinvest in your mindset, you
can't work with me.
So it's yeah, there are somethings you have to apply first.
Then we have to see if we're agood match.
(36:47):
Then we can go from there.
Candace Patrice (36:48):
I love that you did the work or are doing the
work yourself and then givingthat out in real life.
To say it's not impossiblebecause I am a product of the
work, like this doesn't comefrom me just believing one thing
and I'm telling you to do it.
I do this every day.
It's consistent and it's adecision that has to be made.
(37:11):
Every day you show up, you wakeup and say today I'm going to
be the best version of myselfbecause I am great and if I
choose to, today's a great day.
Whatever happened yesterday wasjust something that happened
yesterday and whatever's goingto happen in the future is going
to happen in the future.
Like, I can't change it.
I can't, I can't make somethingelse happen.
(37:32):
I was driving and I was likewow, like I really don't know
what the future holds.
I only know what happened inthe past and that I'm living in
the present.
But something could fall outthe sky right now and know it
wasn't planned.
But that's the future.
Yeah, like, at any given point,something could change.
It's also the reason for why weshould forgive and not judge
(37:57):
people, because you never knowwhen someone life's check, when
someone life changes.
Check when someone life changeswhen they make that mental
switch to say, huh, today's theday.
And who are we to say, no, it'snot, because yesterday wasn't
the day.
Yeah, today's a new day.
How can you give somebody thatand then stunt their growth?
Yeah, because you don't believein them.
Yeah, you know which is why wegotta look at the man in the
(38:21):
mirror.
Yeah, okay, yeah, let me addthis.
Amazing Soul (38:24):
There's this quote to shift your perspective on
judgment be curious, notjudgmental, before you judge.
In quote, just be curious, evenif it's not something that
aligns with you.
Just what is this like?
If most of us start to, youknow, just being curious to the
other person, the judgment thingwill let go easily in our minds
(38:45):
, because the logical thing wedo is judge that person.
That person is good or bad orno.
How about let's be?
What's this thing about?
Why does this person act theway they do?
And if you trace back, yes,it's really pain, trauma that
even allows you to open yourheart, to show them compassion.
Once you know where they'recoming from, you know.
But I for one, I try toapproach life to just be curious
(39:08):
on what this person's story is,why they're acting the way
they're acting.
Candace Patrice (39:11):
And go from there.
It takes me back to socialpsychology.
Look at all of the factors ofsocial psychology when they came
from, the people who are aroundthem, their community, their
household surroundings, whatschools they went to, the
friends that they've been around, the things that they've been
(39:31):
exposed to and where there maybe some stunting of growth.
And I've said this story beforebut I'll say it again the kid
(39:51):
who, at four years old, listenedto his parents arguing and
fighting while he was watchingRocky and Bullwinkle, but
developed a stutter from thatday.
And it wasn't until someone wasable to dig like when was the,
what were you doing?
What was the earliest momentyou remember stuttering?
And then for them to go back tothat moment and at that point
(40:15):
begin to speak.
Well, because they'veidentified the roadblocker in
their brain that has caused thistrauma from four years.
Oh, you're living in afour-year-old mindset and you
can't move forward.
That person is now a publicspeaker today and they go around
.
I don't know their name.
(40:35):
I wish I did, because I wouldtotally say it, but if you
search, it was Tony Robbins whotold the story.
Um, so if that was googled,anybody listening just look up.
Tony Robbins helps man stopstuttering or identify
stuttering problem.
Yeah, um, go ahead, mom, youhave a question?
Janet Hale (40:54):
I have a question.
Yeah, um, because I'm, I'm withthis, this judgment thing.
That'm not judging the dope man, I'm not judging the prostitute
, I'm not Because I don't knowyour story of work that I've
(41:16):
done, been in and all that.
And folks at Rookwood, they didA, b and C.
And my question is to theperson because I'm not studying
all that other stuff is what'sgoing on?
Talk to me about what's going on, you know, and sometimes just
(41:38):
that moment allows that personto feel safe enough to say I'm
upset because I saw my fatherslapping my mother before I
walked out for school today andI'm upset about whatever that is
.
So the judgment?
(41:58):
Who are we any of us to judge?
Anybody, because we all have astory, every last one of us have
a story.
And so I remember talking to uhCandace about some things and,
um, and I don't know how it, howwe, how we said it, but the
thing was because she didn'tunderstand, I don't think, some
(42:19):
of my decision and I said haveyou ever wondered?
I'm not sure if it went exactlythis way, but in my mind right
now this is where it's going.
Have you ever wondered whatkind of pain I must have had to
go in order for me to come upwith this decision.
If you follow me, because, likeyou said, that pain is your
(42:40):
teaching, now do you keepwalking into the same pain or
not?
Amazing Soul (43:00):
so I, as we were speaking, what what came through
was um, that's just something Ilearned from oprah people want
to feel seen, heard andempowered.
You know, once you can start toreally give space to people to
feel seen, heard and empowered,they will lower down their
guards and realize that there'sno agenda.
(43:22):
I just see you.
I see you for who you are rightnow, not the past, not the
future.
I just see you and I love youregardless.
I don't care whether you killedsomeone yesterday or you, I
don't care, I just see you.
And that's where healing startsto really happen, because that
unconditional love.
(43:43):
I love you regardless.
That's how people change andtransform, because now there's
no, there's no, there's no guard, there's no.
Oh, you're going to judge mebecause you know I did this in
the past.
Once they see that they letdown their guard, they let down
their, you know, and it's easierfor them to you know, go within
themselves and realize theyhave it already.
(44:04):
They have the key and the toolsto transform their life,
because now you see them for whothey really are.
Janet Hale (44:14):
And I think, thank you.
You made me think of anexercise and I don't know who,
why I can't put a name to it,but um, but I practiced it and
it was very difficult.
It sounds easy, but when doingit it was like, and it was to
stand in a mirror look atyourself until you see yourself.
(44:35):
When I tell you you Miss Janetthe hippie, she was looking,
then she was turning away.
She would look a minute, thenshe'd get distracted.
She'd look a minute, then sheooh, and then she got still with
(44:55):
it and said we're gonna dealwith this, whatever this is.
I didn't have any idea.
And then I saw her and saidwe're going to deal with this,
whatever this is.
I didn't have any idea.
And then I saw her, oh, withher sweet self.
Where did you see her?
But as easy as that sounds, itwas a difficult task.
Candace Patrice (45:24):
Where did you see her first?
You notice yourself from yourbody first did you identify
yourself from your eyes.
Was it your lips?
Do you remember?
Janet Hale (45:32):
it was my eyes.
It was my eyes, it was throughmy eyes.
Candace Patrice (45:37):
For some people it may be too much to start
with the full figure of theirselves.
Janet Hale (45:44):
I didn't go there yet, you said.
Candace Patrice (45:46):
you looked and turned away and looked and
turned away, but sometimesgetting extremely close in the
mirror and just looking yourselfeyeball to eyeball.
At least let me just say I didthis and I saw someone so pretty
in those eyes and every now andthen I try to capture that,
(46:09):
because it was.
You know, they say eyes are thewindows to the soul, and it's
almost as if I saw my whole soulinside of me and she was so
pretty.
So I'm like wait a minute, waita minute, uh.
But then I was able to back upout of myself and begin to see
(46:30):
more of the pretty.
From my eyes.
It began to expand to my lips,to my face, to my neck, to my
breast, to breast, to my thighs,to my everything.
Every part of me became great,became a work of art.
Where I am today, it's sostrange.
I just leave the universe for alittle bit, for a few minutes,
(46:52):
and it's the most beautifulplace to be, and I don't think I
want to live on earth becauseit's ghetto.
It's so ghetto here.
I want to live on earth becauseit's ghetto.
It's so ghetto here.
Amazing Soul (47:03):
And you're not living on earth.
Candace Patrice (47:05):
my love Is it because everybody isn't in the
same universe that I'm in, andso, in order to communicate, to
the humans.
Here I have to come and, youknow, communicate, but then I'll
be like it's a little ghettoy'all.
I'm going back, bye.
Amazing Soul (47:20):
You're the sky.
Everything else is the weather.
It changes.
Remember who you really are,you don't need to do anything,
period.
Candace Patrice (47:31):
Okay, I'm writing that down.
Janet Hale (47:33):
That's your new thing Putting it on the t-shirt.
Candace Patrice (47:37):
Amazing.
Janet Hale (47:39):
You're the sky.
I'm sorry.
Candace Patrice (47:42):
Mufasa said it best Remember who you are
Amazing.
You're the sky.
Mufasa said it best Rememberwho you are.
We're going to have to close up.
This has been so amazing.
I know the time does that to us.
It just keeps going.
You know, mr Jones told us,life moves on, with or without
(48:04):
us, and the time kept going,whether we wanted it to or not.
Be the sky, mother.
Be the sky.
Be the sky.
Janet Hale (48:13):
Why not be in the little den?
I'm sorry and she's having atantrum All right.
Candace Patrice (48:21):
Is it time it is, of course I.
I don't want to, of course,always.
So we talk about pain and wetalk about these journeys, and
not everyone is at a place, in aspace to receive where we are
or what we've done, um, andwe're continuing to do.
I don't ever want to comeacross as if, oh, we figured it
(48:42):
out, no, no, no, we're just on ajourney and on this journey,
this is where we are, and we'vediscovered that these things
work, and they not only work forus, they work for multiple
people and if we can get themessage out and the word out, we
want to help other people toget to this place and continue
moving forward as we continuemoving forward.
Okay, so I absolutely want tosay that, but you need help or
(49:04):
need someone to talk to.
You can call or text thesuicide prevention lifeline at
nine, eight, eight, and that's24 hours, seven days a week.
There are also other resourcesand I'm working on a resource
page on my website so that youall can have access to these
people.
Amazing soul, you'll be able toclick her link Now.
(49:25):
It takes me a minute.
This is a great idea that Ihave because I'm still a work in
progress.
This is a goal I want toachieve at some point.
There is no achievable date onthe books yet, because too much
pressure, I like to live date onthe books yet because too much
pressure, I like to live.
It'll be a little fluid, butknow that I want to do that so
(49:46):
badly.
I want to have a place wherethere are resources for books
and mindset development, coachesor places to be safe, because
we've had so many great guestson our show over the last four
seasons and people should beable to get to you all at any
given time.
And also, remembering this Idon't know why this is coming to
me, but we don't have to holdon to things.
(50:09):
For me to want a resource pagefor you all to be able to go
click somebody else's page, youdon't have to get it from me.
I may not be for you, but thereare so many people here who may
be for you, so I don't everfeel like something will be cut
off because it's not coming tome.
How can I give you more placesto flow?
Let me be a tree with multiplebranches and ways to get to the
(50:34):
green leaves.
It don't have to be this one.
There are multiple differentways Seeds, plant the seeds and
watch the harvest grow.
I'm not going to guard one seedbecause that just might not be
the seed for me, but you can goand get what you need.
So, if it's going back to anold podcast and listening to
somebody else, look at thetopics and see what works for
(50:56):
what you need, because this iswhy we do it.
For you to be say ha, I canrelate.
What did they do to heal?
Amazing Soul (51:03):
Ha, maybe I can try that, and if it doesn't work
, it's okay, Don't stop trying.
Candace Patrice (51:10):
Start from the left instead of the right when
you're opening your office.
Go through Plymouth instead ofgoing through Canton.
Like, try a different way.
Take the streets instead of thefreeway.
It's tell the GPS to give youthe alternative route, the ways
that you haven't, the thingsthat you've avoided.
(51:31):
Go look, see how it's changed.
The world is ever changing andso much of what was hurt and
pain back in the day may not bewhat is today.
Check out that old neighborhood.
It might be rebuilt, it mightbe tore down, we don't know.
But go check it out.
How do you feel?
Have you conquered the feelingthat was there that you've been
(51:51):
holding captive?
Do you need to look back andask yourself the questions why
does this still feel painful 30years later?
Or, wow, this doesn't feelpainful 30 years later.
And I've been holding on tosomething that I did not need to
.
Let it go, be childlike.
Follow your purpose and yourpassion.
(52:14):
Don't hold on to anythingbecause we don't know what the
future holds.
People lose their livesinstantly and it's so hard
because we're tied to someone orsomething.
But be tied to yourself.
Be tied to you because when theexistence of yourself ends, I
(52:34):
mean how much pain you gonnahave depending on your belief
system and all of that.
But what is that belief system?
Acknowledge that, hold on trueto that.
Be who you are in your beliefsystem, even if it goes against
what everybody else believes,because you may have a divine
(52:54):
purpose that is not your own.
Any last words from you guys.
Janet Hale (53:04):
Oh, I just really enjoyed this podcast.
I enjoyed the subject matter.
I enjoyed most of them.
I love all of them.
I enjoy meeting you as well.
It's a pleasure, and one of thethings that I thought about as
we talk about belief systemsthat candace talked about was
and this is not part of ourthing, I don't think, but it
(53:25):
just made, it just came to meand how sometimes, depending on
what your belief systems are,yeah um, it's okay to call upon
our ancestors and let them helpus um, because they live in us.
They, they're in our DNA.
Anyway, I don't know why thatcame up right At the end,
because I don't want the podcastto end.
(53:46):
I know why, but that's okay.
It's okay, it was a pleasure.
Amazing Soul (53:49):
It was a pleasure.
Thank you very much.
Candace Patrice (53:50):
I'll give you your social media handles and
everything where people can findyou and how they can get there.
Okay, they can come to you andapply, okay cool.
Amazing Soul (53:59):
First of all, thank you so much, candice and
Jen, and I truly, trulyappreciate both of you for
creating this amazing space Frommy heart to yours, thank you.
I wanted to add to theconversation and say that, for
anyone listening, I want you tostart to be like a tree.
When you see a tree, you don'tsay this tree is ugly or short
(54:20):
or tall.
We just say be like a tree.
When you see a tree, you don'tsay this tree is ugly or short
or tall, we just say that's atree, that's a very beautiful
tree.
But why is it that as humanbeings, we say, oh, that person
is ugly or pretty, or thatperson's fat or skinny.
So start to shift yourperspective and start to see
people as trees, or includingyourself, and just see people
(54:40):
for what they are.
It will help you mentally todrop that judgmental mindset and
also always remember to just behere now.
If you don't have the answersto what you're looking for, just
be present and probably theanswer might just be staring you
back in the face.
Um, and if you ever want toconnect with me, my social media
(55:03):
handles are the amazing soulmentor on all social media
platforms and my website is themindfuckcocom and I am sending
any beautiful person listeningright now.
Never forget to have fun.
Show yourself compassion andkindness.
Thank you, guys, so much forreally having me on here.
(55:23):
I truly appreciated sharingthis time with you thank you for
reaching out and wanting to bea guest.
Candace Patrice (55:30):
Thank you, um, these paths needed to cross.
I've learned so much from youin the short amount of time that
I've had to get to know you andbe with you, and I'm going to
forever be able to take some ofthese tools that you've given me
, and I'll continue to followyour path as well, to take more
(55:52):
tools and give more tools andallow me to be a resource to you
as well whenever needed.
So, thank you, thank you, thankyou as well whenever needed.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou, of course, everybody.
You can find me atessentialmotivationcom.
On the website, you can leaveany feedback.
We actually have the textfeature now.
So from the website, you cantext any information, any
(56:16):
comments, any thoughts orsubject matters that you want to
hear.
It'll come directly to me.
So, looking forward to that,you can email me at
CandiceFleming atEssentialMotivationcom.
Instagram is CandicePatriceunderscore EM.
I haven't shut down the otherInstagram because I hold on to
(56:39):
things.
So's again, that's just a realthing.
But please follow the InstagramCandicePatrice underscore em.
I am so grateful.
I am so grateful, everybody.
Thank you for listening, thankyou for liking, thank you for
sharing, thank you for beinghere with our amazing guests.
I love saying that Amazing soul, yes, and always remember to
(57:04):
love hard, forgive often andlaugh frequent.
Janet Hale (57:10):
Bye guys, bye-bye baby.
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