When Your Child Turns 18, the Rules Change
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Most parents assume that turning 18 just means celebrating a milestone, moving into a dorm, or maybe getting a first apartment. But legally, it’s a line in the sand — and if you’re not prepared, that birthday can create some unexpected challenges.
That’s exactly what happened to Anne and Mike, parents of a college freshman named Luke. About three weeks after dropping him off at school, they got a call no parent wants: Luke had been in a bike accident and was taken to the ER.
Panicked, Anne called the hospital — and hit a wall.
“We can’t give out medical information without patient consent,” the nurse said.
Anne pleaded, “But I’m his mother!” It didn’t matter. Luke was 18 now, and legally, she had no right to his medical information.
Thankfully, Luke recovered — but Anne and Mike were left shaken and frustrated. They realized too late that once their son became a legal adult, the rules around decision-making and privacy had changed completely.
Why Turning 18 Changes Everything
Before your child turns 18, state laws give parents automatic authority to make medical decisions and access records. Doctors, hospitals, and schools recognize you as the legal guardian.
But the day your child turns 18, that authority disappears. They are now an adult in the eyes of the law, and three key things happen:
Medical Privacy Kicks In — Under HIPAA, hospitals and doctors cannot share protected health information with anyone, including parents, without written consent.
Decision-Making Rights Transfer — Parents no longer have an automatic right to make medical or financial decisions.
Education Privacy Begins — Under FERPA, once your child turns 18 or starts college, you lose access to grades, tuition records, and disciplinary files unless they authorize you.
In other words: the door closes unless your young adult chooses to open it again.
How to Keep the Door Open
The good news? A few simple documents can restore your ability to help your child when it matters most:
1. Power of Attorney for Health Care
Allows your young adult to name you (or someone they trust) to make medical decisions if they’re ever incapacitated.
2. HIPAA Authorization
Gives you the legal right to access medical records and updates — even if they’re awake, alert, and making their own decisions.
3. FERPA Waiver (for College Students)
Allows you to see educational records, grades, and financial information if needed.
Real-World Examples
These aren’t just “nice-to-have” documents — they can make an enormous difference in real-life emergencies:
The Wisconsin Ice AccidentOne of my clients sent their daughter off to college and wisely set up a Power of Attorney and HIPAA authorization before she left. That winter, she slipped on the ice, hit her head, and ended up unconscious. Because the paperwork was in place, the hospital immediately gave updates and asked the parents for input on her treatment plan.
The Study Abroad Appendix BurstAnother client’s son was studying in Spain when his appendix ruptured. The local hospital struggled to coordinate insurance coverage from the U.S. Because the family had executed a POA, the mother had full authority to act quickly — even across international borders.
Estate Planning Isn’t Just for the Elderly
Too many families think of estate planning as something you do later in life, but as Anne and Mike discovered, it’s just as critical when your kids are stepping into adulthood. Planning isn’t about controlling your child — it’s about giving them, and you, a safety net when life throws the unexpected at you.
If your child is approaching 18, now’s the time to act. A few simple documents can make sure you’re not locked out when they need you most.
Ready to Take the Next Step?