In this deeply personal episode of Eternal Paradigm, Milesh L shares his journey through a life-altering health crisis that became the catalyst for profound change.
After years working in finance and property investment, Milesh faced an unexpected and severe health scare—gallstone pancreatitis—that led to a five-month hospital stay away from his young family. This episode explores how he navigated physical pain, emotional struggle, and uncertainty, and how these experiences sparked a vital shift in his priorities and life direction.
Milesh opens up about the signs he initially missed, the moment he realised the severity of his condition, and the raw reality of being separated from his wife and children during hospitalisation. He reflects on how this forced pause gave him clarity about burnout, health, and the need to redesign his life with intention.
Beyond the health crisis, Milesh discusses the power of strategic planning and the invaluable support of his family in overcoming adversity. He also shares how his corporate experience in strategy helped him stay resilient during the COVID-19 pandemic, demonstrating the importance of adaptability and forward planning in both personal and business life.
This episode offers listeners an inspiring story of courage, resilience, and transformation, with practical insights for anyone facing health challenges, burnout, or life transitions.
Key Moments and Insights:
- Early Missed Signs: Initially mistaking heartburn for something minor, Milesh didn’t anticipate the severity of his symptoms until hospitalisation was unavoidable.
- Sudden Hospitalisation: Taken by ambulance with no prior warning, he spent five months in hospital, a period marked by physical pain and emotional challenge.
- Separation from Family: Being away from his wife and very young children during this critical time added emotional strain and highlighted the importance of family support.
- Diagnosis and Recovery: Facing gallstone pancreatitis and uncertain outcomes, Milesh underwent critical care, including a moment when sedation was a 50-50 chance.
- The Trigger for Change: The real turning point came once recovery began—the realisation that life needed to be lived differently, prioritising health and family over career ambition.
- Reflection on Burnout: Recognising he had been “driving fast without a destination,” Milesh saw the health crisis as a wake-up call against burnout and unchecked ambition.
- The Role of Support: His wife’s strength and his family’s support were crucial to his recovery and motivated his determination to change.
- Strategic Life Planning: Drawing from his corporate experience, Milesh established a clear, long-term life and financial plan, helping to r
Final Thoughts & How to Get Involved
If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. These stories are a reminder that deep transformation is possible, even from the most difficult places.
If you're ready to explore therapeutic coaching or want to understand how it could support your journey, get in touch. This work can be truly life-changing. Get in touch with me for a Discovery Call
Help me bring more episodes to life
If you’d like to hear more episodes, you can support the show by becoming a subscriber. Just $3 a month will help!
I also run regular online and in person events. If you'd like to join the community and stay updated, click here to find out what’s coming up.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
I got to a point when I was in hospital where I
was done.
I was given up because I justcouldn't deal with the pain that
I was going through andwhatever.
And then something changedwithin a few hours that meant I
was, you know, this was on theFriday it happened.
I distinctly remember phoning mywife up and saying, I'm really
struggling now.
And then by Tuesday, I was outof hospital.
SPEAKER_01 (00:29):
Welcome to Eternal Paradigm, human experience for
the conscious explorer.
(00:57):
Hello, welcome to EternalParadigm.
Who are you?
Tell us who you are.
Hi,
SPEAKER_00 (01:03):
everyone.
I'm Milesh Lakhani.
I am a property investor andhave been in property for the
last full time for the lastalmost five years now, albeit a
landlord since 2001, 20 years.
Makes you feel really old.
So yeah, previous to property, Iwas in financial services for
about 17, 18 years in thewonderful world and exciting
(01:25):
world of pensions.
And then took a change in careeror took the decision to change
in career after the moment thateverything changed.
And yeah, been in property sincekind of 2015.
SPEAKER_01 (01:44):
So this is still kind of serious stuff, right?
Pensions, finance.
property, it's pretty heavygoing and being a landlord for
20 years.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:56):
Right.
Yeah.
So interesting, actually.
So I came out of school,college, thinking, right, okay,
uni's not for me.
Just made that decision earlyon.
And honestly, I walked away outof college going, right, I like
working with numbers.
So I ended up in a finance role,in an accounts role for a diners
club, which is a corporatecredit card.
Then I moved into pension, theworld of pensions.
(02:18):
And I remember the personinterviewing me saying, this is
not accounts.
This is nothing to do withaccounting.
Are you sure?
I was like, yeah, yeah, justgive it a go.
18, 19 at the time and stayed inthe industry until 2016.
SPEAKER_01 (02:32):
That is heavy.
And so when they told you it'snot about numbers and you went,
yeah, it's cool.
I'll give it a go.
What happened when you got inthere?
How much of it was numbersrelated?
SPEAKER_00 (02:42):
There was an element of it.
So I started fairly kind of likeadministration level, where I
was front facing with clientsand doing some pension
calculations and stuff.
So I was quite happy.
And I guess I had a bit of ahunger to progress and to you
know, further the career andfortunately managed to work my
(03:07):
way up the ladder, if you like,to a point where I was quite
comfortable.
And so then the numbers side ofthings kind of changed a little
and it was more management.
SPEAKER_01 (03:16):
Then it went into like, okay, I'm really doing
this.
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (03:22):
So tell me, because obviously the focus of this
series is the moment thateverything changed, right?
So you've already said youwalked out of, kind of college
saying uni's not for me sothat's a choice right yeah then
you get into work and you'relike I'll give it a go let's see
what happens and before you knowit you're in management um and
(03:47):
as we said at the beginning asyou pointed out you know
landlord moving around in in thebig stuff what was that moment
for you when everything at likeclick just changed
SPEAKER_00 (03:59):
The moment for me was a significant health scare,
which was in June 2013, so justover eight years ago.
Essentially, I woke up with someheartburn, thought Gaviscon
would sort it out, and itdidn't.
It got progressively worse.
I ended up in hospital withgallstone pancreatitis,
(04:21):
completely unexpected.
No warning signs previously.
My little boy was two years old.
My daughter was about three,four weeks old at the time.
And yeah, I went off in theambulance and came back home
about five months later.
Fortunately, I came back home,fortunately in one piece,
fortunately with no serious kindof medication, which was a
massive thing for me.
(04:41):
But that five months was a roughride for me, but more so for the
people around me.
my wife, my kids, my family, myparents, you know, everyone
else.
So that was the moment.
And looking back, you know,prior to that point, like I said
earlier, I was really ambitious,quite hungry to progress.
(05:04):
And the way I say to people nowis I had no destination in Sat
Nav.
I was just driving really,really fast, but I didn't know
where I was going.
And looking back, havingexperienced what I've
experienced with my healthstuff, like, Who does that?
Why would you do that?
But people do still, whetherthat's through fear or whatever
else, I don't know.
(05:25):
But yeah, so for me, it was thathealth scare, obviously coming
away from it in one piece.
I'll be honest, there were threeoccasions when things were
pretty close and pretty scary,but managed to get through that,
walked away from it.
And just that forced...
time to reflect upon us really.
(05:45):
And it's at that point wherelike, okay, I'm on this rat
race.
I want to come off it.
I want more time, moreflexibility with the family,
young kids and everything else.
How do I do that?
I don't think working in acorporate world is it.
Always had an interest inproperty, So this was 2013.
(06:06):
I had my first property in 2001.
So I had a few by now already.
And it was one of those thingsthat, you know, like you really
want to give it a go, but lifejust gets in the way.
So I just took the decision thatactually property is what I
enjoy doing.
And can we craft a career out ofit?
And yeah, that's the decision wetook.
(06:27):
Got educated, started buying,put a plan together to leave my
job.
And in October 2016, almost fiveyears ago, that's what happened.
SPEAKER_01 (06:37):
That is incredible.
And, you know, the whole thingyou said about driving and not
having a destination, who doesthat?
I think everybody's a bit guiltyof that, right?
Yeah.
But while you were there inhospital, what were you
thinking?
What were your
SPEAKER_00 (06:57):
thoughts?
Rationally, not a lot, if I'mhonest, because I was pretty
drugged up.
SPEAKER_01 (07:02):
Yeah, yeah.
But
SPEAKER_00 (07:05):
to be honest with you, the trigger was, so when I
was in there, I was in there, Iwasn't, I didn't have my phone.
I just, the time just went,basically.
I didn't feel like I had time tothink.
I was just so wrapped up in whatwas going on around me.
I barely used my phone for thatperiod.
(07:26):
And the thought of me not usingmy phone for five months now is
like, But when you're in thatstate, when you're in that
condition, and when you've gotstuff going on around you, then
all you want to focus on is justgetting better.
So I wasn't distracted byanything.
But equally, I didn't use thattime or didn't think I had that
time to think.
(07:46):
So really, for me, the triggerwas once I started getting
better, that was the oh shitmoment where it was like, right,
okay, I can't just carry on likethis now.
Something's got to change.
And it's in my hands to changethat.
SPEAKER_01 (07:59):
That's incredibly powerful to actually be in a
place of understanding you'regetting better and then go, I
can still change this.
SPEAKER_00 (08:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:09):
Because that was actually, that was the gap.
That was the moment, right?
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
100%.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Because at that point, when you got to that
crossroad, you could have gone,I'm a victim.
You could have said, I am sicknow.
This is it.
And where did that Because itsounds like from what you're
saying that that's always beenthere, that almost like that
courage to be in the face of itand to take that choice.
(08:39):
Where do you think that camefrom?
SPEAKER_00 (08:40):
Oh, that's a really good question.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think you're right, though.
There's an inner drive, aninner...
ambition, whatever it is, butit's there.
And I remember when I was inhospital, everyone was saying,
oh, age is on your side.
This doesn't happen to peopleyour age.
And I took from that thatactually, I've got to prove
(09:01):
these people right, man.
I've got to get through it.
As far as career and stuff, Iguess it links back to goals and
ambitions and all that sort ofstuff.
So I had in my mind by age 30,not written down, nothing
formal, just in my head, I hadtwo or three things I wanted to
do and achieve by the age of 30.
(09:21):
I don't think I really put mucheffort into it, but now I
understand that by having thatthinking, there's some
subconscious universe alignmentthat goes on.
And guess what?
I managed to hit two and a halfout of three of those things by
age 30.
So there's always been thatdrive.
(09:42):
Where it comes from, I couldn'ttell you, honestly.
I need to go away and thinkabout that because, yeah, I'm
not sure.
SPEAKER_01 (09:49):
You know, also at that time, you said, you know,
your wife had just had yourdaughter.
She was only a baby.
SPEAKER_00 (10:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:01):
And you had a toddler and life has just
flipped.
SPEAKER_00 (10:05):
Yeah, completely.
So that was the strength thatshe showed and continues to
show.
Like I...
If it was the other way around,I'd have crumbled 100%.
And even in making the decisionand thinking through what we're
going to do differently goingforwards and stuff, she was
instrumental in that andprobably a driving force in all
(10:28):
of that.
So without that, I think I'dhave really struggled.
And like I said, if she was onthe other foot and it was the
other way around, blimey, I'dhave fallen away.
Definitely.
So it takes that strength incharacter and having somebody
around me that has a belief andjust keeps going was really,
(10:48):
really important.
SPEAKER_01 (10:49):
Absolutely.
And it's really, really, reallycritical to be able to be in a
relationship where when thingsgo bad, you keep going.
But when things are in a stableplace that you're both able to
be together to plan things.
reflect and have those reallydifficult uncomfortable open
(11:13):
honest conversations becausethat's what that moment kind of
allowed to happen
SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
but
SPEAKER_01 (11:21):
again how were you guys in that process were you
both like right we just have todeal with this and I know that I
know that your wife's not hereto talk right so I'm not going
to ask you to speak on herbehalf because that's unfair but
What was that like for you?
Because it's very raw.
SPEAKER_00 (11:40):
Yeah, so I mean, going through what we went
through, for me, I just feltlike I was helpless.
I couldn't do anything.
And all I could do was try andget myself better.
But how do you do that?
I was in a position where I was,you know, being looked after by
everybody around me, includingher, including my parents in
their own way.
So I think for the characterthat she is, she just went into
(12:04):
fight or flight and just...
practical mode.
Each day as it comes, thoughtabout wider implications of
stuff and actually thought itthrough on our own, which I
think is phenomenal.
I wasn't in the right state ofmind or fit state to have those
types of conversations.
There was one time whenbasically I was, without going
(12:25):
into too much detail, I was toldthat I needed to be sedated and
it was 50-50.
And the doctor said, all right,we need to do this.
Who do you want to call?
So I said, right, obviously mywife and my brother.
And we had– I thought I had thefinal conversation.
Now, just flipping that onto herpoint of view for a second, like
(12:45):
we were married, what, fouryears?
Young family, as you say.
Like that's a lot to take in anddeal with.
And she did.
And when I woke up, guess what?
Who was there?
She was there.
So, yeah, so I think from– Herpoint of view, it was tough, but
like I said, it's fight orflight.
When you're put into asituation, you find this inner
confidence, this inner strength,whatever it is, to just keep
(13:08):
going.
And yeah, yeah, credit to herand hats off.
And obviously people around me,so my parents, as soon as I was
in hospital, my parents moved inwith us, which meant that my
wife could come and see me everyday with the baby.
And she saw me every single daythat I was in hospital.
She came to see me, even if itwas for half an hour.
But that's credit to her.
and to my parents for changingwhat, you know, their kind of
(13:32):
day-to-day to accommodate.
My brother, my sister, everyonewas there, my in-laws, everyone.
So yeah, it was a big pull on,from my point of view, it was a
big pull on a lot of people tosupport us through it.
SPEAKER_01 (13:45):
There's so much, almost like power in that
support that allowed you to getto that point where it was like,
even feeling helpless, evenfeeling all of that.
You know, there was so muchlove.
SPEAKER_00 (14:01):
Yeah, definitely.
And I'll never forget it, thesupport that I've had from
everybody around me.
And now I'm in a place whereactually, you know, I want to
give back.
And I think that's where that'skind of come from a little bit.
You know, the time, theflexibility, everything.
Not just for me, my wife, mychildren, but my wider family.
(14:24):
I'm able to go and do things.
I'm able to go and see myparents without taking half a
day or doing bits and pieceslike that where the job ties you
down.
I can just do it because I can,because I've chosen to.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
Yeah, I totally hear that.
The other thing that is kind ofcoming up for me while you're
speaking is strategy.
Okay, because I have a verystrategic analytical mind, which
is great in business.
And yet, when kind of personallife situations happen, like you
(14:57):
said, your wife went into fightor flight mode, but she also
became a very strategicpractical thinker, putting all
of these logical steps intoplace.
And it sounds like, you know,your life planning really
started at that point.
SPEAKER_00 (15:11):
100%.
Yeah, absolutely.
So Now, you know, we've got aclear destination in the sat-nav
from every year from now untilage 75 or whatever it is.
Like, we've documented it from afinancial perspective as well as
a what do we want in lifeperspective.
Yeah, which now, like, thethought of not having that,
(15:33):
just, yeah, like, you're, youknow, peeing in the wind a
little bit and just muddlingthrough life.
UNKNOWN (15:40):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (15:41):
which is cool and loads and you know there are
people out there who are quitehappy with that and fair play
but that's not that's not how wework now
SPEAKER_01 (15:51):
i totally hear that the other thing that's really
kind of interesting is the wholething the the practical steps
that you've taken because formany people the moment where
everything changed for them wasthe pandemic right whereas
You've had, obviously in yourplanning, you probably didn't
(16:14):
factor in a pandemic.
No one did, right?
Whereas, so your planningstarted well before that.
So what happened when you got tothe pandemic?
What was the kind of, what washappening in terms of, I guess,
you know, what was happeningstrategically and what was, how
much had the pre-planning helpedyou at that stage?
SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
Really good question, actually.
And so one of the disciplinesthat we...
Before I answer that, so where Icome from in terms of corporate
world and everything else, andthis relates to business and
life, is I have picked up a lotof knowledge, a lot of skills,
loads of behaviours and stuffthrough corporate that I was...
And that continued to be reallykeen not to lose.
(16:57):
And so I was looking at whatdisciplines can I bring in to my
little small business from ahuge corporate And strategy was
the one thing that I've broughtover, one of the main things
I've brought over.
And so off the back of that, mywife was still working up until
this year, actually, from when Iwent full time in property, so
(17:17):
four and a half, five years.
But one thing we did do is thatstrategy.
So we used to have and wecontinue to have a quarterly
strategy day where we're talkingbusiness and life.
Business first, life kind ofcomes after that because that's
the main focus of it with thebackdrop of our longer term life
plan.
Yeah, so having the quarterlyreview was, or continuing to
(17:41):
have that was important.
The discipline of maintaining itwas really important.
We hit the pandemic.
We were both trying to work.
That brought its own challengeswith a couple of kids and
homeschooling and everythingelse.
So we kind of found our feet alittle bit and it took a little
while and it was tough.
In all honesty, it wasn't easyto get into a routine whereby I
(18:02):
was doing the kids in themorning, would do a tag team at
lunchtime, and then I'd go anddo some work in the afternoon
and vice versa.
So once that settled, which tooka little while, we were then
like, okay, what am I actuallydoing when I'm upstairs working?
Like, you know, I can't go out.
So we put together, I puttogether a plan and basically
(18:25):
looked at all elements of mybusiness and all of the people
within the business that I'massociated to or linked to.
So basically looked at the wholeproperty cycle, like estate
agents, mortgage brokers,solicitors, vendors.
What impact is COVID having onall these people?
And where can I shift or changeor do stuff differently to
(18:49):
continue to keep going?
And that plan was really, reallyuseful because it just brought
clarity to me.
And it got to a point where, youknow, I think it was about six
months in and we decided...
month three we're going to dostuff differently and basically
start working with what we callsourcing agents people who will
go and find you a property youpay them a fee and then the deal
(19:12):
is yours so we branched out andopened out to those guys and it
took a few months of findingthose people speaking to those
people to then get into into afew deals and then we bought
three deals within three monthsum in or agreed those deals in
october september yeah q4 lastyear whilst we're pretty much in
the thick of COVID.
So we just, because from mypoint of view, because we had
(19:34):
the plan, because we had thestrategy that enabled us to then
do some more planning onsituation and then change
accordingly.
In the absence of all of that,it would have been really,
really difficult.
And then as the world startedopening up, you can start to do
stuff differently and get backto an element of normality.
So loads of lessons learned.
(19:55):
One thing there was a lot,obviously, people's take on
COVID is very different based ontheir experiences.
The one thing I say and continueto say to people is I would
never have chosen to have asmuch time off with my family
than COVID gave us.
So that can only be a goodthing.
It's about how you look at it.
And unfortunately, there aresituations where Families might
(20:17):
have broken up off the back ofit.
You know, people have lost,we've lost a lot of people
through COVID.
So there was a lot of griefalong the way as well.
And again, I think for us, forme, that helped with
perspective.
As sad as it is to see thesepeople no longer with us, it
forces you to look back and stepback and just review things, as
(20:37):
well as the formal strategicprocess.
bit that you do, right?
SPEAKER_01 (20:40):
Yes, I'm giggling to that, but yes, totally.
I hear you.
But again, it's the whole thing.
There was a lot of, even in yourpersonal being, your corporate
experience, your lifeexperience, in your
relationship, there was so muchinsight, knowledge, wisdom, and
(21:03):
skill that to be able to open upto the flexibility, the
adaptability and still stay onplan.
That takes a lot of discipline.
I mean, if we break it down tosomeone, you know, who's even
trying to eat healthier, it's sochallenging.
So hats off to you for that.
(21:24):
That is truly incredible.
So tell me, obviously, we're ata very different stage now.
Where are you at now?
And when you...
kind of sit here and reflectback daily and kind of almost
time travel forward what are thethings that come up for you?
So
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
I guess it's worth saying now in February of this
year I randomly ended up back inhospital for two weeks and that
did throw me for six so our Thefoundation of our business is
what we want from life.
And so our aim is that thebusiness will give us what we
(22:08):
need to have a good lifestyle.
And so the foundation is what dowe want from life, financially
and not, right?
So the first thing for me, goingback a little bit, was me
getting out of the job, which wemanaged to do in 2016, October.
The next thing was for thebusiness to support us enough so
that my wife could leave her jobas well.
And COVID actually helped withthis decision.
(22:30):
So we were financially able todo it for probably a couple of
years.
And we did this thinking aroundCOVID and it just got to a point
where we were like, why aren'twe doing this?
Let's just explore the scenarioof it happening and how it might
look.
And so we did that.
And just before Christmas lastyear, I took the decision that
(22:53):
she was going to come on board.
It was literally three daysbefore she was due to finish her
job that I went into hospital.
So you've probably gathered thatI'm a bit of a planner.
So we had done business rolesdocument.
We'd done personality tests tomake sure that we know what our
strengths are and what ourdevelopments and weaknesses are
(23:15):
so that we We know to stay outof each other's way on certain
things.
So all of that pre-planning wasdone and it came good because it
got to a point where I was offthe radar because I was dosed up
and wiped out.
So she had to hit the groundrunning.
And it's because we had all ofthose things that I think made
life a little bit easier for herto kind of deal with not only me
(23:37):
being in hospital, the kids area little bit older now, and it
took us both back.
to where we were kind of eightyears ago, but obviously quite
different.
So yeah, so that happened.
And I guess that was anotherpoint with COVID, with the loss
of people that we had, with thebackdrop of what happened to me
eight years ago, it was another,wow, this actually can happen
(24:00):
anytime.
And so I was really keen tounderstand the cause of what
happened and blah, blah, blah.
And fortunately, I'm told it waslinked to some surgery I had
eight years ago that kind ofcrept up and ended up where I
was but those two weeks werealmost a shortened version of
the five months I had and I gotto a point like I got to a point
(24:20):
when I was in hospital where Iwas done I was given up because
I just couldn't deal with thepain that I was going through
and whatever and then somethingchanged within a few hours that
meant I was you know this was onthe Friday it happened I
distinctly remember phoning mywife up and saying I'm really
struggling now like and then byTuesday I was out of hospital Of
all of the drugs I was on, I wason a significant amount of
(24:42):
drugs, like all sorts of opioidsand all sorts of stuff.
So again, that was anotherreminder, I guess, of focus,
helps to refocus and stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (24:52):
So can I ask, as you reflect on this, because I work
with a lot of clients onwellness, health, and what is it
that you weren't payingattention to before that
happened?
uncomfortableness and the paincreeped in.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
What do you mean health-wise?
Yeah,
SPEAKER_01 (25:13):
what is it that you weren't allowing yourself to
feel or experience within yourexperience that you feel kind of
got you to this point to put youback on track again?
I
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
guess health-wise there were signs, symptoms that
were there for probably a fewweeks before that I didn't
realise and it got to a pointwhere it got to with me being in
hospital and stuff.
I guess the thing that slippedmaybe was taking my health for
granted, which everybody does,like it or not, we do.
(25:46):
And yeah, it could be that.
But what I'm told is that one ofthe operations they did, I
basically had a pseudocyst on mypancreas of all places, having
had pancreatitis before, thatwas being bled into.
And so what they were sayingthat over the years and years
after doing the surgery, therewas a little pathway that ended
up where we were with the cyst.
(26:07):
But the pain from that was thesame, if not worse, than what I
experienced previously.
So, yeah, the first week wasjust about pain management.
So, yeah, to answer thequestion, I guess if I was to
look back, I probably tookadvantage of health and eating
like I want to, not like Ishould.
(26:29):
It's probably, yeah, probablyone of the things.
But although the doctors,surgeons, consultants were just
like, yet again, you're justunlucky and ended up where you
are, which is what they said tome eight years ago.
SPEAKER_01 (26:40):
When you hear that from medical professionals,
you're just unlucky, what doesthat feel like?
SPEAKER_00 (26:48):
Not nice.
So without going into too muchdetail, pancreatitis, there's
two causes of pancreatitis.
One is alcohol.
One is not.
And I was the not category.
So I saw people...
alcohol-related come in, yes,it's an addiction, and yes, you
need support and help with that.
But some people were purelyjust, it was self-inflicted.
(27:10):
They walked in, they're in fortwo weeks, they got better, and
then they walked out, and I wasjust sat there.
To the point where I said to myconsultant, what have I done?
And it did make me challenge alot of stuff afterwards, like
religion and why us and all ofthat.
We went through all of that atthe outset or after it happened
(27:32):
the first time.
But yeah, the lesson I'velearned is you dealt the hand
you dealt with.
You can control it to a certainextent, but it's about how you
react to it.
And that's critical for me.
And sometimes you can end up ina position or a place where
you're kind of wallowing a bitand that happens.
And I've accepted that I needthat.
(27:54):
but it only happens for a day ortwo and then you snap yourself
out of it and get on.
And it's really important tohave the discipline, the drive,
whatever it is, to not only stepaway from it and see that you're
behaving that way, but then alsodo something about it.
And it's the latter that I thinkis the toughest bit.
SPEAKER_01 (28:12):
It's incredible because being in that place and
seeing people who are in a placewhere it's self-inflicted,
whereas it's total opposites.
Right.
Which then opens up this wholekind of dialogue of questioning.
But the why.
And yet it brings you back tothis point of acceptance.
(28:33):
And so it's when you're sayingI'm allowing myself to wallow,
I'm going to snap out of it.
That is actually it sounds socritical in this whole dialogue.
experience.
SPEAKER_00 (28:46):
Yeah yeah and even since then so without going into
the health too much I don't wantit to be a whole health show but
I've been diagnosed I wasdiabetic type 2 diabetic about
three years ago diagnosed andafter this spell they've
actually diagnosed me with type3c diabetes which nobody's heard
of it's quite new symptoms oftype 2 treatment of type 1 so
(29:09):
I'm basically on insulin which Iwas one in the morning anyway so
talking about change and how youreact to it.
What I took really badly was thefact that they were quite
straight with me and said, youneed to manage this disease by
medication, not by diet.
When for the last three or fouryears, it was drummed into me
that diet, exercise, and youshould be able to get rid of it.
(29:29):
So that was quite a big blow.
And not only that, you now haveto take injections every time
you eat before every meal, whichfor people who have been doing
it forever, they're there andthey're doing it really well.
But from my point of view, itwas a big thing.
I have to think about when I'meating.
I have to think about, oh, yeah,okay, I've got to measure my
(29:50):
sugars, and then I've got to domy injections and stuff.
So this is where I learned.
Like I said, only a few monthsago, I learned that I will have
a little wobble, but then I'llget out of it.
And then the next thing was,okay, you need to now count your
carbs, and then depending onwhat you're– keep your carbs
low, count carbs, and then basedon that, then do your injections
(30:11):
and stuff.
So, again, another one.
And Asian diet is very, very,very carb-heavy.
Nobody's fault.
It's just what we eat.
And so that took a massivechange in the way we're looking
at food, basically.
Absolutely.
You look at what you're eating,and it's like carb there, carb
(30:32):
there, carb there.
So I've taken a massive shift onthe diet side of things as well.
But again, when I was told thosepieces of information– I did
have a little wobble for a dayor two, but then I snapped out
of it.
And I suppose what I'm saying isit can be on any scale and it's
okay on any scale.
Even if it's having to queue upto go and get petrol and that
(30:53):
annoys you, you can have a moanabout it, but get over yourself
and move on.
Sit in the queue or choose notto.
That's one thing that's come upsince I got better and stuff was
choices.
I choose.
I want to be in a position whereI can choose choices what I do
wherever possible.
And you've got to own it.
(31:15):
Bad stuff will happen, but it'show you react and it's your
stuff to own.
SPEAKER_01 (31:19):
High five to that.
Totally.
Totally.
I'm listening to you, but to meit also sounds like you're
clearly here to show thatanything's possible and even
with the wobbles, it's okay.
SPEAKER_00 (31:36):
Yeah, 100%.
And, you know, my...
The reason I'm doing this, Iguess, is because if people can
walk away with one thing that isa trigger or is a little bit of
a thought-provoking thing thatthey take away from it, I'm more
than happy with that.
I've had to go through quite alot to get that enlightenment,
(31:58):
to get for that trigger.
The trigger was prettysignificant for me, like,
life-wise.
So if I can do one thing to stopthat for anybody else, then...
That's been done.
Well, happy.
Yeah.
And it's about giving back.
SPEAKER_01 (32:12):
Yeah.
So tell me more about that,because obviously now in terms
of what you're giving back,you've said how the shift in the
choices you've made in terms ofbusiness life balance allows you
to give back to your nearest anddearest.
But what's the bigger vision inthe giving back and how does the
(32:34):
business play a part in that?
SPEAKER_00 (32:36):
Yeah, cool.
OK, so.
In my longer term goals, I wantto be supporting a...
I want to be doing a significantcharity project.
I don't know what that lookslike yet.
I don't know how it's going toform or anything like that yet.
I just know I want to be doingsomething.
Where does the business play apart?
(32:57):
The business allows me to dothat.
So...
We're building the business toget to a point where I don't
need to be in the business, Ineed to be on the business.
And that's always been the plan.
Time and flexibility is the mostcritical thing.
And once the business is to apoint where we've got time and
flexibility financially, as wellas having our own time, that's
(33:22):
when I want to be able to dothese other things.
So, yeah, two things,significant charity project,
sharing my story because I thinkit's a story worth, for people
worth, for people to listen toand there's some worth in it.
And financial education inschools is something that I
(33:42):
don't think is as strong, solidas it could be.
But up until now, I've just beendoing my own way of giving back,
whether it's talking in schoolsabout how I've got to where I've
got to in terms of business.
I gave back to a local communityand I was a governor at one of
the local schools, was there fora few months and thought, might
(34:05):
as well do the big job.
I'm here anyway.
So I did chair of governors forabout four years.
And yeah, so I'm doing in mycapacity now what I can to give
back.
interesting to say about familyand stuff I don't see that as
giving back I see that as dutyyou know my parents are getting
on they're down the road I'vechosen for that to be to stay
(34:27):
that way and will continue to doso that's something I feel I
should be doing like
SPEAKER_01 (34:31):
absolutely
SPEAKER_00 (34:33):
I know individual situations and people are
different and everything elsebut for me that's that's really
really important
SPEAKER_01 (34:41):
so from this point onwards with everything that
you've experienced and kind oflived through.
What are almost like your threetop kind of bits of advice?
And you've been kind of sharingthem as you've been talking.
But if you were to kind of justgive your three big hitters,
what would they be?
SPEAKER_00 (35:02):
This might sound a bit blunt, but own it.
You've got to own it.
You find yourself in situations,you've got to step back from it
and look at yourself firstbefore you look at other people.
So I'd say own it.
You choose.
And that's quite powerful.
You do choose.
You might think you don't havecertain choices, but trust me,
(35:22):
if you think about it longenough, you do.
And it's the not wanting tothink about it long enough
rather than thinking you don'thave the choice, if that makes
sense.
And just gratitude.
So one thing, three words thatwork for me every single time is
I get to, and it's one of my oldbosses told me this actually, I
get to, I get to wake up in themorning, I get to open my eyes
(35:42):
every morning.
But you can take it as deep asthat, you know, you wake up, I
get to wake up.
It just gives you that sense ofgratitude, really, that you've
got your friends, family aroundyou.
Unfortunately, there are alwayspeople who are not as great, as
fortunate as you are.
So it's about knowing that andvaluing that and understanding
(36:06):
that, really.
SPEAKER_01 (36:07):
So where can people connect with you?
Where can people find you?
And how can people kind of learnfrom about being in the property
game and benefit from all ofyour insight and knowledge?
SPEAKER_00 (36:20):
So I've got a Instagram account.
So Milesh Lakhani Property iswhere you'll find my updates.
I'm on there a few times a week.
So the best way to connect withme is on that, on the DMs.
Have a look at the content thatyou see on there.
Give us a follow if you like it.
And then, yeah, just feel freeto get in touch.
(36:40):
I also do coaching, mentoring aspart of...
What I do as well, linked to thegiving back really, but more, it
was more of a gap that I foundmyself in when I was working for
myself, having worked incorporate for so long.
That people progression thing issomething I really missed.
It's kind of bridging, selfishlybridging my own gap, but helping
(37:00):
others along the way.
So yeah, any interest in that,obviously just send me a DM.
I've got a Facebook page aswell, Millesh Lakhani Property.
Similar content on there aswell.
So again, reach out.
Facebook, Instagram, and behappy to have a chat with
anyone.
SPEAKER_01 (37:16):
Amazing.
Thank you so much.
Absolutely
SPEAKER_00 (37:19):
incredible.
You're welcome.
That's good.
Thank you.
Some thought-provoking stuff forme in there as well, actually.
SPEAKER_01 (37:25):
Amazing.
It's the only way.
I got to a point when I was in hospital where I
was done.
I was given up because I justcouldn't deal with the pain that
I was going through andwhatever.
And then something changedwithin a few hours that meant I
was, you know, this was on theFriday it happened.
I distinctly remember phoning mywife up and saying, I'm really
struggling now.
And then by Tuesday, I was outof hospital.
SPEAKER_01 (00:29):
Welcome to Eternal Paradigm, human experience for
the conscious explorer.
(00:57):
Hello, welcome to EternalParadigm.
Who are you?
Tell us who you are.
Hi,
SPEAKER_00 (01:03):
everyone.
I'm Milesh Lakhani.
I am a property investor andhave been in property for the
last full time for the lastalmost five years now, albeit a
landlord since 2001, 20 years.
Makes you feel really old.
So yeah, previous to property, Iwas in financial services for
about 17, 18 years in thewonderful world and exciting
(01:25):
world of pensions.
And then took a change in careeror took the decision to change
in career after the moment thateverything changed.
And yeah, been in property sincekind of 2015.
SPEAKER_01 (01:44):
So this is still kind of serious stuff, right?
Pensions, finance.
property, it's pretty heavygoing and being a landlord for
20 years.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:56):
Right.
Yeah.
So interesting, actually.
So I came out of school,college, thinking, right, okay,
uni's not for me.
Just made that decision earlyon.
And honestly, I walked away outof college going, right, I like
working with numbers.
So I ended up in a finance role,in an accounts role for a diners
club, which is a corporatecredit card.
Then I moved into pension, theworld of pensions.
(02:18):
And I remember the personinterviewing me saying, this is
not accounts.
This is nothing to do withaccounting.
Are you sure?
I was like, yeah, yeah, justgive it a go.
18, 19 at the time and stayed inthe industry until 2016.
SPEAKER_01 (02:32):
That is heavy.
And so when they told you it'snot about numbers and you went,
yeah, it's cool.
I'll give it a go.
What happened when you got inthere?
How much of it was numbersrelated?
SPEAKER_00 (02:42):
There was an element of it.
So I started fairly kind of likeadministration level, where I
was front facing with clientsand doing some pension
calculations and stuff.
So I was quite happy.
And I guess I had a bit of ahunger to progress and to you
know, further the career andfortunately managed to work my
(03:07):
way up the ladder, if you like,to a point where I was quite
comfortable.
And so then the numbers side ofthings kind of changed a little
and it was more management.
SPEAKER_01 (03:16):
Then it went into like, okay, I'm really doing
this.
SPEAKER_00 (03:20):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (03:22):
So tell me, because obviously the focus of this
series is the moment thateverything changed, right?
So you've already said youwalked out of, kind of college
saying uni's not for me sothat's a choice right yeah then
you get into work and you'relike I'll give it a go let's see
what happens and before you knowit you're in management um and
(03:47):
as we said at the beginning asyou pointed out you know
landlord moving around in in thebig stuff what was that moment
for you when everything at likeclick just changed
SPEAKER_00 (03:59):
The moment for me was a significant health scare,
which was in June 2013, so justover eight years ago.
Essentially, I woke up with someheartburn, thought Gaviscon
would sort it out, and itdidn't.
It got progressively worse.
I ended up in hospital withgallstone pancreatitis,
(04:21):
completely unexpected.
No warning signs previously.
My little boy was two years old.
My daughter was about three,four weeks old at the time.
And yeah, I went off in theambulance and came back home
about five months later.
Fortunately, I came back home,fortunately in one piece,
fortunately with no serious kindof medication, which was a
massive thing for me.
(04:41):
But that five months was a roughride for me, but more so for the
people around me.
my wife, my kids, my family, myparents, you know, everyone
else.
So that was the moment.
And looking back, you know,prior to that point, like I said
earlier, I was really ambitious,quite hungry to progress.
(05:04):
And the way I say to people nowis I had no destination in Sat
Nav.
I was just driving really,really fast, but I didn't know
where I was going.
And looking back, havingexperienced what I've
experienced with my healthstuff, like, Who does that?
Why would you do that?
But people do still, whetherthat's through fear or whatever
else, I don't know.
(05:25):
But yeah, so for me, it was thathealth scare, obviously coming
away from it in one piece.
I'll be honest, there were threeoccasions when things were
pretty close and pretty scary,but managed to get through that,
walked away from it.
And just that forced...
time to reflect upon us really.
(05:45):
And it's at that point wherelike, okay, I'm on this rat
race.
I want to come off it.
I want more time, moreflexibility with the family,
young kids and everything else.
How do I do that?
I don't think working in acorporate world is it.
Always had an interest inproperty, So this was 2013.
(06:06):
I had my first property in 2001.
So I had a few by now already.
And it was one of those thingsthat, you know, like you really
want to give it a go, but lifejust gets in the way.
So I just took the decision thatactually property is what I
enjoy doing.
And can we craft a career out ofit?
And yeah, that's the decision wetook.
(06:27):
Got educated, started buying,put a plan together to leave my
job.
And in October 2016, almost fiveyears ago, that's what happened.
SPEAKER_01 (06:37):
That is incredible.
And, you know, the whole thingyou said about driving and not
having a destination, who doesthat?
I think everybody's a bit guiltyof that, right?
Yeah.
But while you were there inhospital, what were you
thinking?
What were your
SPEAKER_00 (06:57):
thoughts?
Rationally, not a lot, if I'mhonest, because I was pretty
drugged up.
SPEAKER_01 (07:02):
Yeah, yeah.
But
SPEAKER_00 (07:05):
to be honest with you, the trigger was, so when I
was in there, I was in there, Iwasn't, I didn't have my phone.
I just, the time just went,basically.
I didn't feel like I had time tothink.
I was just so wrapped up in whatwas going on around me.
I barely used my phone for thatperiod.
(07:26):
And the thought of me not usingmy phone for five months now is
like, But when you're in thatstate, when you're in that
condition, and when you've gotstuff going on around you, then
all you want to focus on is justgetting better.
So I wasn't distracted byanything.
But equally, I didn't use thattime or didn't think I had that
time to think.
(07:46):
So really, for me, the triggerwas once I started getting
better, that was the oh shitmoment where it was like, right,
okay, I can't just carry on likethis now.
Something's got to change.
And it's in my hands to changethat.
SPEAKER_01 (07:59):
That's incredibly powerful to actually be in a
place of understanding you'regetting better and then go, I
can still change this.
SPEAKER_00 (08:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:09):
Because that was actually, that was the gap.
That was the moment, right?
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
100%.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Because at that point, when you got to that
crossroad, you could have gone,I'm a victim.
You could have said, I am sicknow.
This is it.
And where did that Because itsounds like from what you're
saying that that's always beenthere, that almost like that
courage to be in the face of itand to take that choice.
(08:39):
Where do you think that camefrom?
SPEAKER_00 (08:40):
Oh, that's a really good question.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think you're right, though.
There's an inner drive, aninner...
ambition, whatever it is, butit's there.
And I remember when I was inhospital, everyone was saying,
oh, age is on your side.
This doesn't happen to peopleyour age.
And I took from that thatactually, I've got to prove
(09:01):
these people right, man.
I've got to get through it.
As far as career and stuff, Iguess it links back to goals and
ambitions and all that sort ofstuff.
So I had in my mind by age 30,not written down, nothing
formal, just in my head, I hadtwo or three things I wanted to
do and achieve by the age of 30.
(09:21):
I don't think I really put mucheffort into it, but now I
understand that by having thatthinking, there's some
subconscious universe alignmentthat goes on.
And guess what?
I managed to hit two and a halfout of three of those things by
age 30.
So there's always been thatdrive.
(09:42):
Where it comes from, I couldn'ttell you, honestly.
I need to go away and thinkabout that because, yeah, I'm
not sure.
SPEAKER_01 (09:49):
You know, also at that time, you said, you know,
your wife had just had yourdaughter.
She was only a baby.
SPEAKER_00 (10:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:01):
And you had a toddler and life has just
flipped.
SPEAKER_00 (10:05):
Yeah, completely.
So that was the strength thatshe showed and continues to
show.
Like I...
If it was the other way around,I'd have crumbled 100%.
And even in making the decisionand thinking through what we're
going to do differently goingforwards and stuff, she was
instrumental in that andprobably a driving force in all
(10:28):
of that.
So without that, I think I'dhave really struggled.
And like I said, if she was onthe other foot and it was the
other way around, blimey, I'dhave fallen away.
Definitely.
So it takes that strength incharacter and having somebody
around me that has a belief andjust keeps going was really,
(10:48):
really important.
SPEAKER_01 (10:49):
Absolutely.
And it's really, really, reallycritical to be able to be in a
relationship where when thingsgo bad, you keep going.
But when things are in a stableplace that you're both able to
be together to plan things.
reflect and have those reallydifficult uncomfortable open
(11:13):
honest conversations becausethat's what that moment kind of
allowed to happen
SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
but
SPEAKER_01 (11:21):
again how were you guys in that process were you
both like right we just have todeal with this and I know that I
know that your wife's not hereto talk right so I'm not going
to ask you to speak on herbehalf because that's unfair but
What was that like for you?
Because it's very raw.
SPEAKER_00 (11:40):
Yeah, so I mean, going through what we went
through, for me, I just feltlike I was helpless.
I couldn't do anything.
And all I could do was try andget myself better.
But how do you do that?
I was in a position where I was,you know, being looked after by
everybody around me, includingher, including my parents in
their own way.
So I think for the characterthat she is, she just went into
(12:04):
fight or flight and just...
practical mode.
Each day as it comes, thoughtabout wider implications of
stuff and actually thought itthrough on our own, which I
think is phenomenal.
I wasn't in the right state ofmind or fit state to have those
types of conversations.
There was one time whenbasically I was, without going
(12:25):
into too much detail, I was toldthat I needed to be sedated and
it was 50-50.
And the doctor said, all right,we need to do this.
Who do you want to call?
So I said, right, obviously mywife and my brother.
And we had– I thought I had thefinal conversation.
Now, just flipping that onto herpoint of view for a second, like
(12:45):
we were married, what, fouryears?
Young family, as you say.
Like that's a lot to take in anddeal with.
And she did.
And when I woke up, guess what?
Who was there?
She was there.
So, yeah, so I think from– Herpoint of view, it was tough, but
like I said, it's fight orflight.
When you're put into asituation, you find this inner
confidence, this inner strength,whatever it is, to just keep
(13:08):
going.
And yeah, yeah, credit to herand hats off.
And obviously people around me,so my parents, as soon as I was
in hospital, my parents moved inwith us, which meant that my
wife could come and see me everyday with the baby.
And she saw me every single daythat I was in hospital.
She came to see me, even if itwas for half an hour.
But that's credit to her.
and to my parents for changingwhat, you know, their kind of
(13:32):
day-to-day to accommodate.
My brother, my sister, everyonewas there, my in-laws, everyone.
So yeah, it was a big pull on,from my point of view, it was a
big pull on a lot of people tosupport us through it.
SPEAKER_01 (13:45):
There's so much, almost like power in that
support that allowed you to getto that point where it was like,
even feeling helpless, evenfeeling all of that.
You know, there was so muchlove.
SPEAKER_00 (14:01):
Yeah, definitely.
And I'll never forget it, thesupport that I've had from
everybody around me.
And now I'm in a place whereactually, you know, I want to
give back.
And I think that's where that'skind of come from a little bit.
You know, the time, theflexibility, everything.
Not just for me, my wife, mychildren, but my wider family.
(14:24):
I'm able to go and do things.
I'm able to go and see myparents without taking half a
day or doing bits and pieceslike that where the job ties you
down.
I can just do it because I can,because I've chosen to.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
Yeah, I totally hear that.
The other thing that is kind ofcoming up for me while you're
speaking is strategy.
Okay, because I have a verystrategic analytical mind, which
is great in business.
And yet, when kind of personallife situations happen, like you
(14:57):
said, your wife went into fightor flight mode, but she also
became a very strategicpractical thinker, putting all
of these logical steps intoplace.
And it sounds like, you know,your life planning really
started at that point.
SPEAKER_00 (15:11):
100%.
Yeah, absolutely.
So Now, you know, we've got aclear destination in the sat-nav
from every year from now untilage 75 or whatever it is.
Like, we've documented it from afinancial perspective as well as
a what do we want in lifeperspective.
Yeah, which now, like, thethought of not having that,
(15:33):
just, yeah, like, you're, youknow, peeing in the wind a
little bit and just muddlingthrough life.
UNKNOWN (15:40):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (15:41):
which is cool and loads and you know there are
people out there who are quitehappy with that and fair play
but that's not that's not how wework now
SPEAKER_01 (15:51):
i totally hear that the other thing that's really
kind of interesting is the wholething the the practical steps
that you've taken because formany people the moment where
everything changed for them wasthe pandemic right whereas
You've had, obviously in yourplanning, you probably didn't
(16:14):
factor in a pandemic.
No one did, right?
Whereas, so your planningstarted well before that.
So what happened when you got tothe pandemic?
What was the kind of, what washappening in terms of, I guess,
you know, what was happeningstrategically and what was, how
much had the pre-planning helpedyou at that stage?
SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
Really good question, actually.
And so one of the disciplinesthat we...
Before I answer that, so where Icome from in terms of corporate
world and everything else, andthis relates to business and
life, is I have picked up a lotof knowledge, a lot of skills,
loads of behaviours and stuffthrough corporate that I was...
And that continued to be reallykeen not to lose.
(16:57):
And so I was looking at whatdisciplines can I bring in to my
little small business from ahuge corporate And strategy was
the one thing that I've broughtover, one of the main things
I've brought over.
And so off the back of that, mywife was still working up until
this year, actually, from when Iwent full time in property, so
(17:17):
four and a half, five years.
But one thing we did do is thatstrategy.
So we used to have and wecontinue to have a quarterly
strategy day where we're talkingbusiness and life.
Business first, life kind ofcomes after that because that's
the main focus of it with thebackdrop of our longer term life
plan.
Yeah, so having the quarterlyreview was, or continuing to
(17:41):
have that was important.
The discipline of maintaining itwas really important.
We hit the pandemic.
We were both trying to work.
That brought its own challengeswith a couple of kids and
homeschooling and everythingelse.
So we kind of found our feet alittle bit and it took a little
while and it was tough.
In all honesty, it wasn't easyto get into a routine whereby I
(18:02):
was doing the kids in themorning, would do a tag team at
lunchtime, and then I'd go anddo some work in the afternoon
and vice versa.
So once that settled, which tooka little while, we were then
like, okay, what am I actuallydoing when I'm upstairs working?
Like, you know, I can't go out.
So we put together, I puttogether a plan and basically
(18:25):
looked at all elements of mybusiness and all of the people
within the business that I'massociated to or linked to.
So basically looked at the wholeproperty cycle, like estate
agents, mortgage brokers,solicitors, vendors.
What impact is COVID having onall these people?
And where can I shift or changeor do stuff differently to
(18:49):
continue to keep going?
And that plan was really, reallyuseful because it just brought
clarity to me.
And it got to a point where, youknow, I think it was about six
months in and we decided...
month three we're going to dostuff differently and basically
start working with what we callsourcing agents people who will
go and find you a property youpay them a fee and then the deal
(19:12):
is yours so we branched out andopened out to those guys and it
took a few months of findingthose people speaking to those
people to then get into into afew deals and then we bought
three deals within three monthsum in or agreed those deals in
october september yeah q4 lastyear whilst we're pretty much in
the thick of COVID.
So we just, because from mypoint of view, because we had
(19:34):
the plan, because we had thestrategy that enabled us to then
do some more planning onsituation and then change
accordingly.
In the absence of all of that,it would have been really,
really difficult.
And then as the world startedopening up, you can start to do
stuff differently and get backto an element of normality.
So loads of lessons learned.
(19:55):
One thing there was a lot,obviously, people's take on
COVID is very different based ontheir experiences.
The one thing I say and continueto say to people is I would
never have chosen to have asmuch time off with my family
than COVID gave us.
So that can only be a goodthing.
It's about how you look at it.
And unfortunately, there aresituations where Families might
(20:17):
have broken up off the back ofit.
You know, people have lost,we've lost a lot of people
through COVID.
So there was a lot of griefalong the way as well.
And again, I think for us, forme, that helped with
perspective.
As sad as it is to see thesepeople no longer with us, it
forces you to look back and stepback and just review things, as
(20:37):
well as the formal strategicprocess.
bit that you do, right?
SPEAKER_01 (20:40):
Yes, I'm giggling to that, but yes, totally.
I hear you.
But again, it's the whole thing.
There was a lot of, even in yourpersonal being, your corporate
experience, your lifeexperience, in your
relationship, there was so muchinsight, knowledge, wisdom, and
(21:03):
skill that to be able to open upto the flexibility, the
adaptability and still stay onplan.
That takes a lot of discipline.
I mean, if we break it down tosomeone, you know, who's even
trying to eat healthier, it's sochallenging.
So hats off to you for that.
(21:24):
That is truly incredible.
So tell me, obviously, we're ata very different stage now.
Where are you at now?
And when you...
kind of sit here and reflectback daily and kind of almost
time travel forward what are thethings that come up for you?
So
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
I guess it's worth saying now in February of this
year I randomly ended up back inhospital for two weeks and that
did throw me for six so our Thefoundation of our business is
what we want from life.
And so our aim is that thebusiness will give us what we
(22:08):
need to have a good lifestyle.
And so the foundation is what dowe want from life, financially
and not, right?
So the first thing for me, goingback a little bit, was me
getting out of the job, which wemanaged to do in 2016, October.
The next thing was for thebusiness to support us enough so
that my wife could leave her jobas well.
And COVID actually helped withthis decision.
(22:30):
So we were financially able todo it for probably a couple of
years.
And we did this thinking aroundCOVID and it just got to a point
where we were like, why aren'twe doing this?
Let's just explore the scenarioof it happening and how it might
look.
And so we did that.
And just before Christmas lastyear, I took the decision that
(22:53):
she was going to come on board.
It was literally three daysbefore she was due to finish her
job that I went into hospital.
So you've probably gathered thatI'm a bit of a planner.
So we had done business rolesdocument.
We'd done personality tests tomake sure that we know what our
strengths are and what ourdevelopments and weaknesses are
(23:15):
so that we We know to stay outof each other's way on certain
things.
So all of that pre-planning wasdone and it came good because it
got to a point where I was offthe radar because I was dosed up
and wiped out.
So she had to hit the groundrunning.
And it's because we had all ofthose things that I think made
life a little bit easier for herto kind of deal with not only me
(23:37):
being in hospital, the kids area little bit older now, and it
took us both back.
to where we were kind of eightyears ago, but obviously quite
different.
So yeah, so that happened.
And I guess that was anotherpoint with COVID, with the loss
of people that we had, with thebackdrop of what happened to me
eight years ago, it was another,wow, this actually can happen
(24:00):
anytime.
And so I was really keen tounderstand the cause of what
happened and blah, blah, blah.
And fortunately, I'm told it waslinked to some surgery I had
eight years ago that kind ofcrept up and ended up where I
was but those two weeks werealmost a shortened version of
the five months I had and I gotto a point like I got to a point
(24:20):
when I was in hospital where Iwas done I was given up because
I just couldn't deal with thepain that I was going through
and whatever and then somethingchanged within a few hours that
meant I was you know this was onthe Friday it happened I
distinctly remember phoning mywife up and saying I'm really
struggling now like and then byTuesday I was out of hospital Of
all of the drugs I was on, I wason a significant amount of
(24:42):
drugs, like all sorts of opioidsand all sorts of stuff.
So again, that was anotherreminder, I guess, of focus,
helps to refocus and stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (24:52):
So can I ask, as you reflect on this, because I work
with a lot of clients onwellness, health, and what is it
that you weren't payingattention to before that
happened?
uncomfortableness and the paincreeped in.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
What do you mean health-wise?
Yeah,
SPEAKER_01 (25:13):
what is it that you weren't allowing yourself to
feel or experience within yourexperience that you feel kind of
got you to this point to put youback on track again?
I
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
guess health-wise there were signs, symptoms that
were there for probably a fewweeks before that I didn't
realise and it got to a pointwhere it got to with me being in
hospital and stuff.
I guess the thing that slippedmaybe was taking my health for
granted, which everybody does,like it or not, we do.
(25:46):
And yeah, it could be that.
But what I'm told is that one ofthe operations they did, I
basically had a pseudocyst on mypancreas of all places, having
had pancreatitis before, thatwas being bled into.
And so what they were sayingthat over the years and years
after doing the surgery, therewas a little pathway that ended
up where we were with the cyst.
(26:07):
But the pain from that was thesame, if not worse, than what I
experienced previously.
So, yeah, the first week wasjust about pain management.
So, yeah, to answer thequestion, I guess if I was to
look back, I probably tookadvantage of health and eating
like I want to, not like Ishould.
(26:29):
It's probably, yeah, probablyone of the things.
But although the doctors,surgeons, consultants were just
like, yet again, you're justunlucky and ended up where you
are, which is what they said tome eight years ago.
SPEAKER_01 (26:40):
When you hear that from medical professionals,
you're just unlucky, what doesthat feel like?
SPEAKER_00 (26:48):
Not nice.
So without going into too muchdetail, pancreatitis, there's
two causes of pancreatitis.
One is alcohol.
One is not.
And I was the not category.
So I saw people...
alcohol-related come in, yes,it's an addiction, and yes, you
need support and help with that.
But some people were purelyjust, it was self-inflicted.
(27:10):
They walked in, they're in fortwo weeks, they got better, and
then they walked out, and I wasjust sat there.
To the point where I said to myconsultant, what have I done?
And it did make me challenge alot of stuff afterwards, like
religion and why us and all ofthat.
We went through all of that atthe outset or after it happened
(27:32):
the first time.
But yeah, the lesson I'velearned is you dealt the hand
you dealt with.
You can control it to a certainextent, but it's about how you
react to it.
And that's critical for me.
And sometimes you can end up ina position or a place where
you're kind of wallowing a bitand that happens.
And I've accepted that I needthat.
(27:54):
but it only happens for a day ortwo and then you snap yourself
out of it and get on.
And it's really important tohave the discipline, the drive,
whatever it is, to not only stepaway from it and see that you're
behaving that way, but then alsodo something about it.
And it's the latter that I thinkis the toughest bit.
SPEAKER_01 (28:12):
It's incredible because being in that place and
seeing people who are in a placewhere it's self-inflicted,
whereas it's total opposites.
Right.
Which then opens up this wholekind of dialogue of questioning.
But the why.
And yet it brings you back tothis point of acceptance.
(28:33):
And so it's when you're sayingI'm allowing myself to wallow,
I'm going to snap out of it.
That is actually it sounds socritical in this whole dialogue.
experience.
SPEAKER_00 (28:46):
Yeah yeah and even since then so without going into
the health too much I don't wantit to be a whole health show but
I've been diagnosed I wasdiabetic type 2 diabetic about
three years ago diagnosed andafter this spell they've
actually diagnosed me with type3c diabetes which nobody's heard
of it's quite new symptoms oftype 2 treatment of type 1 so
(29:09):
I'm basically on insulin which Iwas one in the morning anyway so
talking about change and how youreact to it.
What I took really badly was thefact that they were quite
straight with me and said, youneed to manage this disease by
medication, not by diet.
When for the last three or fouryears, it was drummed into me
that diet, exercise, and youshould be able to get rid of it.
(29:29):
So that was quite a big blow.
And not only that, you now haveto take injections every time
you eat before every meal, whichfor people who have been doing
it forever, they're there andthey're doing it really well.
But from my point of view, itwas a big thing.
I have to think about when I'meating.
I have to think about, oh, yeah,okay, I've got to measure my
(29:50):
sugars, and then I've got to domy injections and stuff.
So this is where I learned.
Like I said, only a few monthsago, I learned that I will have
a little wobble, but then I'llget out of it.
And then the next thing was,okay, you need to now count your
carbs, and then depending onwhat you're– keep your carbs
low, count carbs, and then basedon that, then do your injections
(30:11):
and stuff.
So, again, another one.
And Asian diet is very, very,very carb-heavy.
Nobody's fault.
It's just what we eat.
And so that took a massivechange in the way we're looking
at food, basically.
Absolutely.
You look at what you're eating,and it's like carb there, carb
(30:32):
there, carb there.
So I've taken a massive shift onthe diet side of things as well.
But again, when I was told thosepieces of information– I did
have a little wobble for a dayor two, but then I snapped out
of it.
And I suppose what I'm saying isit can be on any scale and it's
okay on any scale.
Even if it's having to queue upto go and get petrol and that
(30:53):
annoys you, you can have a moanabout it, but get over yourself
and move on.
Sit in the queue or choose notto.
That's one thing that's come upsince I got better and stuff was
choices.
I choose.
I want to be in a position whereI can choose choices what I do
wherever possible.
And you've got to own it.
(31:15):
Bad stuff will happen, but it'show you react and it's your
stuff to own.
SPEAKER_01 (31:19):
High five to that.
Totally.
Totally.
I'm listening to you, but to meit also sounds like you're
clearly here to show thatanything's possible and even
with the wobbles, it's okay.
SPEAKER_00 (31:36):
Yeah, 100%.
And, you know, my...
The reason I'm doing this, Iguess, is because if people can
walk away with one thing that isa trigger or is a little bit of
a thought-provoking thing thatthey take away from it, I'm more
than happy with that.
I've had to go through quite alot to get that enlightenment,
(31:58):
to get for that trigger.
The trigger was prettysignificant for me, like,
life-wise.
So if I can do one thing to stopthat for anybody else, then...
That's been done.
Well, happy.
Yeah.
And it's about giving back.
SPEAKER_01 (32:12):
Yeah.
So tell me more about that,because obviously now in terms
of what you're giving back,you've said how the shift in the
choices you've made in terms ofbusiness life balance allows you
to give back to your nearest anddearest.
But what's the bigger vision inthe giving back and how does the
(32:34):
business play a part in that?
SPEAKER_00 (32:36):
Yeah, cool.
OK, so.
In my longer term goals, I wantto be supporting a...
I want to be doing a significantcharity project.
I don't know what that lookslike yet.
I don't know how it's going toform or anything like that yet.
I just know I want to be doingsomething.
Where does the business play apart?
(32:57):
The business allows me to dothat.
So...
We're building the business toget to a point where I don't
need to be in the business, Ineed to be on the business.
And that's always been the plan.
Time and flexibility is the mostcritical thing.
And once the business is to apoint where we've got time and
flexibility financially, as wellas having our own time, that's
(33:22):
when I want to be able to dothese other things.
So, yeah, two things,significant charity project,
sharing my story because I thinkit's a story worth, for people
worth, for people to listen toand there's some worth in it.
And financial education inschools is something that I
(33:42):
don't think is as strong, solidas it could be.
But up until now, I've just beendoing my own way of giving back,
whether it's talking in schoolsabout how I've got to where I've
got to in terms of business.
I gave back to a local communityand I was a governor at one of
the local schools, was there fora few months and thought, might
(34:05):
as well do the big job.
I'm here anyway.
So I did chair of governors forabout four years.
And yeah, so I'm doing in mycapacity now what I can to give
back.
interesting to say about familyand stuff I don't see that as
giving back I see that as dutyyou know my parents are getting
on they're down the road I'vechosen for that to be to stay
(34:27):
that way and will continue to doso that's something I feel I
should be doing like
SPEAKER_01 (34:31):
absolutely
SPEAKER_00 (34:33):
I know individual situations and people are
different and everything elsebut for me that's that's really
really important
SPEAKER_01 (34:41):
so from this point onwards with everything that
you've experienced and kind oflived through.
What are almost like your threetop kind of bits of advice?
And you've been kind of sharingthem as you've been talking.
But if you were to kind of justgive your three big hitters,
what would they be?
SPEAKER_00 (35:02):
This might sound a bit blunt, but own it.
You've got to own it.
You find yourself in situations,you've got to step back from it
and look at yourself firstbefore you look at other people.
So I'd say own it.
You choose.
And that's quite powerful.
You do choose.
You might think you don't havecertain choices, but trust me,
(35:22):
if you think about it longenough, you do.
And it's the not wanting tothink about it long enough
rather than thinking you don'thave the choice, if that makes
sense.
And just gratitude.
So one thing, three words thatwork for me every single time is
I get to, and it's one of my oldbosses told me this actually, I
get to, I get to wake up in themorning, I get to open my eyes
(35:42):
every morning.
But you can take it as deep asthat, you know, you wake up, I
get to wake up.
It just gives you that sense ofgratitude, really, that you've
got your friends, family aroundyou.
Unfortunately, there are alwayspeople who are not as great, as
fortunate as you are.
So it's about knowing that andvaluing that and understanding
(36:06):
that, really.
SPEAKER_01 (36:07):
So where can people connect with you?
Where can people find you?
And how can people kind of learnfrom about being in the property
game and benefit from all ofyour insight and knowledge?
SPEAKER_00 (36:20):
So I've got a Instagram account.
So Milesh Lakhani Property iswhere you'll find my updates.
I'm on there a few times a week.
So the best way to connect withme is on that, on the DMs.
Have a look at the content thatyou see on there.
Give us a follow if you like it.
And then, yeah, just feel freeto get in touch.
(36:40):
I also do coaching, mentoring aspart of...
What I do as well, linked to thegiving back really, but more, it
was more of a gap that I foundmyself in when I was working for
myself, having worked incorporate for so long.
That people progression thing issomething I really missed.
It's kind of bridging, selfishlybridging my own gap, but helping
(37:00):
others along the way.
So yeah, any interest in that,obviously just send me a DM.
I've got a Facebook page aswell, Millesh Lakhani Property.
Similar content on there aswell.
So again, reach out.
Facebook, Instagram, and behappy to have a chat with
anyone.
SPEAKER_01 (37:16):
Amazing.
Thank you so much.
Absolutely
SPEAKER_00 (37:19):
incredible.
You're welcome.
That's good.
Thank you.
Some thought-provoking stuff forme in there as well, actually.
SPEAKER_01 (37:25):
Amazing.
It's the only way.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.