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June 23, 2021 46 mins

In this episode, conscious entrepreneur Emmanuelle Chasse speaks about her life journey of going from being a bakery owner in Montreal, Canada, until the pandemic hit and things changed dramatically. 

In this powerfully reflective episode Emmanuelle, a single mum, shares the challenges that have showed up for her and how she has navigated life through some incredibly difficult times. 

Speaking openly and so deeply, this conversation moves from light lighter to some dark and dense moments of loss and abuse. 

Guest: Emmanuelle Chasse 
Host: Urmi Raval 
Sound Editor: Maja Pronko 


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:01):
Welcome to Eternal Paradigm.
Together, we're uncovering humanexperience by exploring
physical, mental, emotional, andspiritual stories.
With me, your host, Ermi Ravel.
Hello, welcome to this episodeof Eternal Paradigm.
I hope you're enjoying yourjourney to find you.

(00:23):
This is a really, reallyincredibly deep journey.
I think most of them are, right?
There's always some sort ofdepth or uncovering or discovery
or something.
Something that just kind ofshows up.
This episode is with myincredible friend and this
amazing soul who has come intomy life.

(00:47):
Her name is Emmanuelle Chase andyou will hear more about
Emmanuelle's story in a bit.
But I just kind of want to giveyou a heads up on what's been
going on in my life.
So as I am recording this, Ihave just had the most
incredible live trainingexperience with Marisa Peer,

(01:10):
learning, understanding, andreally, really kind of jumping
in feet first into RTT, which isa tool that's used in hypnosis.
Hypnosis is something that Ihave always, always, always been
interested in.
And also because I have been abit of an amateur hypnotist for

(01:31):
a few years now.
So when RTT came into my life,it was at a time when nothing
else was working.
I have been in all sorts anddifferent types of therapies
pretty much from a very youngage.
And now I'm in my 40s.
So when you get to this point inlife where nothing else has

(01:51):
worked and you can't quitefigure out why, you just can't
help feeling that there's moreand more wrong with you.
And then RTT came along andchanged a lot of that for me.
And I am not going to make itsound as though things happened
overnight, but they almost did.
This incredible, incredible...

(02:15):
new way of being, new way ofseeing, and new way of
understanding became possiblebecause of this incredibly
powerful tool, RTT, that's RapidTransformational Therapy, that's
used in hypnosis.
And now I am also able to sharethis with my clients.

(02:35):
You may remember this episodewith Peter a few episodes ago.
He is also an RTD colleaguebased in South Africa and his
journey to get to the point thathe's at has been truly
incredible.
And now I'm going to introduceyou to Emmanuel because this
woman blows my mind.
Another one.
You know when...
When you really, really want tostart connecting with people who

(03:00):
just have a different way ofresonating, it just becomes so
possible.
Anyway, I realize I'm kind ofgoing all deep and meaningful,
so I don't want to do that.
Let's keep it to where it needsto be.
I am really, really, reallyexcited to kind of give you a
really quick update.
So check this out.
We've got new members who havejoined the Eternal Paradigm

(03:23):
Facebook group.
Yes, that's true.
In addition to that, we havesome really interesting episodes
coming up.
I have an incredible episodecoming up with a parenting
coach.
And you know, as a parent,you're never really taught how
to parent.
Your understanding of parentingreally comes from your parents

(03:43):
and your connection to thecaregivers around you.
And the reason that is really,really important to know is
because you, when you become theparent, have a choice to
understand that there's anotherway, that there's a different
way.
And many, many people I knowdecide they don't want to parent
like their parents did.
Their challenge becomes theydon't know any other way to do

(04:06):
it.
And so I'm really, reallyexcited to bring this next
episode after Emmanuel's one.
In addition to that, I have got,oh gosh, it's just lots of
different things happening.
Again, I have been a littlequiet on socials, but that's
just a temporary thing while Iam sorting a few things out.
And I guess that's it.

(04:27):
But you know where to find me.
The Eternal Paradigm Facebookpage, which is there.
It's all there.
You get all the latest episodeupdates.
A few bits of information willbe on there too.
I hope you listened to lastweek's episode with Madiha,
especially as it really talksabout inner healing and

(04:47):
understanding her journey andprocess in that area.
What else have we got?
Oh yeah, we've got the Instagramas well, the Instagram page, the
Eternal Paradigm podcast, whichis also there.
And as I mentioned, the Facebookgroup.
I'm also really, really, reallyexcited to share with you and
more information will beavailable if you are following
me directly, me.

(05:09):
I'm actually going to be runninga few events this year, stuff
that I've already been doingwith many of my coaching
clients, which has just beenabsolutely phenomenal.
But I'd really like to inviteyou to invite others to to join
this because it's incrediblypowerful work and now would be a
good time to start doing that,especially where the world is
still in to varying levels indifferent stages in terms of the

(05:34):
COVID pandemic, but also becausepeople are at very different
stages within themselves.
So I'm going to be announcingvery soon dates for the inner
child exploration and I inviteyou to come and join me.
More details on that will beavailable.
However, for the time being, Iam going to now leave you with

(05:57):
this incredible, incredible.
Oh, just absolutely.
I mean, you know, there's thewhole thing, that whole bromance
thing.
And when you have like a girlcrush and all these things.
I mean, I am like crushing on akind of fifth dimension level
here.
I mean, it's just incredible.
This woman absolutely blows meaway.

(06:17):
And I am so grateful that I amable to be in this position to
share her story with you.
Keep listening.
Remember, keep your feedbackcoming.
I love hearing from you.
It's absolutely amazing.
Not only to hear about whereyou're at on your journey, but
also to hear about what you'vegot happening in your life.

(06:38):
What's shifting?
What's changing?
What revelations have you had?
What realizations have becomepossible for you?
And also, where do you want togo with that?
I'm always here, always happy toconnect, to talk, to really hear
what you have to say.
And obviously, if you want totake it further from there,
that's also an opportunity andan option.

(07:00):
But for the time being, keepyour feedback coming.
Keep on listening.
Truly grateful.
And here's another amazing guestfor you.

SPEAKER_00 (07:08):
I am the consciousness that's driving
this avatar, this meat suitaround.
And my given name is EmmanuelChase.
And that's who I am today.
And for this life here on earth,I guess.

SPEAKER_01 (07:21):
I like the fact that you're carrying the meat suit

SPEAKER_00 (07:24):
around.
Carrying the meat suit.
You know, I was asking myself,who's driving the show?
And actually the purpose of itwas in the meditation to see,
can I get a glimpse of who mysoul is, my consciousness?
What is she like or what is itlike?
So yeah, great question.

SPEAKER_01 (07:39):
What came up for you in your meditation?
Did anything come up?

SPEAKER_00 (07:45):
I'm someone with, you know, I think I'm funny, a
great sense of humor.
I love to laugh and I'm verycaring.
So it was just more of a, theaha moment was that, that part
of me, that part of mypersonality is part of my soul.
Just someone who loves to helpand care for others and laugh
and love, just like a huge ballof love is what came up.

(08:06):
So I'm good with that.

SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
That sounds absolutely amazing.
And I'm getting a really warm,fuzzy feeling in my chest
hearing you say that, becausethat feels absolutely right.
So tell me, Emmanuel, what islife like for you at the moment?
What are you doing?
Where are you at?

SPEAKER_00 (08:23):
Life for me at the moment is all about surrendering
the control, the need to have aclear direction, surrendering
the need to control the outcomeand sort of following the
breadcrumbs that the universe islaying out.
And that in the last year and ahalf has been complete 360

(08:43):
degree change of lifestyle,going from a busy entrepreneur
with two bakeries, a single momrunning staff, doing all of the
things that entrepreneurs do,being a pastry chef in the
kitchen 16 to 18 hours a day toa complete, you know, the carpet
being pulled from underneath meand the universe saying, you're

(09:05):
not in alignment with who youare.
So you're going to take anosedive to the bottom of the
barrel, but don't worry, this isin your best interest.
And the last, I would say, 14months has been getting back up
and dusting myself off andfollowing the breadcrumbs.
And that's led me to so manydifferent avenues and
possibilities and beingopen-minded to it.
I followed the path into RTT,exactly the same program that

(09:30):
you did, and that's how we met.
And so now I'm a rapidtransformational therapist and
access consciousness barsfacilitator and practitioner.
I'm also a mindfulness coach.
And so that's who I am now,surrendering the need and the
control to know where that willtake me and blissfully being at
peace in the moment, enjoyingall that I've learned, putting

(09:52):
it into practice.
And fulfilling my purpose andmission on earth, which is to
help people transform theirlives and come into alignment
with who they are.

SPEAKER_01 (10:00):
Wow.
Okay.
You had me at pastry chef.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm still stuck there.

SPEAKER_00 (10:05):
Are you hungry?

SPEAKER_01 (10:11):
No, but I feel a little bit like I know you on
this level because we'veconnected over, like you said,
with RTT.
And when it comes to you being amindfulness coach, access
consciousness

SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
yeah

SPEAKER_01 (10:24):
all of these different things are how we've
come to connect because we'reboth you know on our kind of
paths in our own different waytrying to do the same thing if
that makes sense absolutely butI'm still stuck on the pastry
because can can you just how didall that happen and obviously
the last 14 months the 18 monthshave been big the shift is

(10:46):
significant everything thatyou've learned now through all
of this understanding thatyou've gained if you had all
this knowledge and learning nowback when you were running two
bakeries an absoluteentrepreneur how would it have
changed things for you

SPEAKER_00 (11:02):
It would have changed everything.
It would have changed so much.
I mean, my earliest memories,I've always been what I call
perfectly awkward.
I've never fit into any mold.
I've always been the girl thatquestions everything from the
youngest age, looking up at thestars at night and thinking how
there has to be more and alwaysfeeling like life is a parade

(11:26):
and I'm a spectator.
I've always felt that way.
So for me, sticking to one thingIf that makes sense, studying
one thing and thinking tomyself, I am committing to
spending my life doing this onething that doesn't seem right.
You know, I've always felt likethere's so much to learn, so
much to do.
I'm curious about everything.

(11:48):
Fast forward to after I wasmarried and had my first child
and I went from sales job tosales job.
I've always been anentrepreneur, always in network
marketing, but curious about somuch.
And at one point, my ex-husbandsaid, you need to focus on one
thing.
And the kids were home andthat's how baking came about.
He says, you're always bakingfor us.

(12:09):
You're always baking for ourfriends and family.
People love what you do.
Why don't you make a business ofit?
And I followed that.
That was the mold he was tryingto So knowing what I know now, I
completely and wholeheartedlyunderstand and believe that we
create our reality as we go.
If I could go back just the lastthree years and tell myself, be

(12:32):
mindful of your thoughts, bemindful of what you're
attracting by what you'rethinking.
Because when you're in thosemoments of frustration, despair,
almost hopelessness,helplessness, not knowing where
to go next, you're completelypinching yourself off from your
inner guidance system and yourintuition.
And you're stuck in this 3Ddense reality and you're making

(12:56):
decisions and choices based onwhat you're feeling in the
moment.
You're not going with the flow.
So I would tell myself, justfollow your heart.
That's how I started thebusiness was following my heart,
following the inspiration,following the creativity.
And I let the pressure of tryingto control the outcome, always
wanting to do more, alwayswanting to be more, always

(13:19):
wanting to be more for others.
And I pinched myself off fromsource, from my connection with
my higher self.
And the dream became anightmare.
So I would go back and say, justkeep following your heart.
Keep doing what feels right,what feels light.
Be mindful of your thoughtsbecause the more you think in a

(13:40):
certain way is what you'reattracting.
So that big pile of horsedoo-doo that's in front of you,
you put that there, girl.
Now you're tripping over it.
That's what I would say.
A long-winded answer, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (13:54):
But it's a really important answer.
It's a really significant placeto be.
Thank you for that.
As you said, you followed yourheart.
and things made sense and thingswere kind of going a certain
way.
And then you also talk aboutbeing put into a mold or
somebody else creating a moldfor you to fit into.

(14:15):
It's so

SPEAKER_00 (14:16):
difficult to explain, but just that free
spirited side of me, you know, Ilove people.
And so I would build thesebusinesses, these network
marketing businesses, and Iwould achieve my goals very
quickly.
And once I would achieve them, Iwould still feel empty and
emptiness inside.

(14:37):
Like it wasn't enough.
Like this wasn't the path.
It wasn't about the money.
It wasn't about the, oh, you'vereached this circle of influence
or you've won this award.
It was just something feels off.
And for my ex-husband at thetime, that was very difficult
for him to understand because itwas like, You know, you put your
heart and soul into thisbusiness.

(14:58):
You've grown it.
You've done well.
And six months later, eightmonths later, 12 months later,
you're feeling completelyunsatisfied.
Something must be wrong withyou.
And so I started to buy intothat, that something was wrong
with me fundamentally.
Why couldn't I stick to onething?
It wasn't the lack of will,determination or passion for
success.

(15:19):
It was just getting bored.
Like, okay, I've done that.
What else can I learn?
So I did.
I baked.
Martha Stewart was my hero whenmy kids were little.
And the Food Network came out atthe time and TLC and all of
these programs.
And I would see these moms doingall of the mom things and
organizing their homes andpickling their own pickles and
making jams and having gardens.

(15:40):
And I decided that I was goingto force myself into that mold,
that I was going to create apersona version of me because I
needed to create that becausethat wasn't me.
Me was like...
You know, I remember when thekids were little telling my
husband, like, okay, we're goingto buy a camper van, a motor
home, and we're going to travelaround North America.
And then we're going to take itto Europe and we're going to

(16:01):
homeschool them and we're goingto see the world.
No, I mean, we're divorced nowand he's still in the same job
and he's been there for 22 yearsand he's unionized and he loves
it.
And he's just great at that.
But I wasn't.
You know, when he sat down withme one day and he says, listen,
you're excited when you'rebaking.

(16:21):
You're smiling.
You love to bake.
You're so creative.
I've never seen these kinds ofdesserts and cakes and you just,
I can feel your happiness.
And so I believed him.
But what both of us didn'texpect was that I felt happy
because that was an outlet forcreativity.
That wasn't my job.
I didn't take my passion andturn it into a job.

(16:43):
I don't know if you and I haveever spoken about this, but for
me, definitely as an empath andsomeone who just loves to give
and a carer to associate money,charging money for the products
that I was making was verydifficult.
It was hard to assign a value tothe product because it was
something that I love to do.

(17:03):
So when the shift happened fromthis is my passion and I get to
do this for people that I loveto now this is a business that
has to sustain our family, thatshift was hard.
And that's when I felt more ofthe disconnect and saying, but
okay, I have to keep doing thisbecause these are his
expectations.
I can't quit this because hethinks that I quit or give up on

(17:26):
everything.
Even though for me in my mind, Iwasn't quitting, I was
accomplishing and moving on.
And I didn't want to let himdown.
And so I stayed in that lane.
And every day I forced myselfand I did it.
I did it well.
You know, the goal was to becomethe best cupcakes in Montreal,
and I achieved it in threeyears.
But I never wanted to let himdown.
And so that guilt of what willhe think if I come up to him and

(17:49):
say, hey, I want to sell thebusinesses, been there, done
that, let's move on.
Let's get that camper van.
It was the fear, the guilt.
And also, I would say a littlebit of shame of why can't I be
like everyone else and stayingin my lane?
If that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 (18:01):
That does.
And that's so much to deal with.
And there's so much therebecause like you said, there's
the dynamic and the pressure ofthe relationship, the
expectation, and then how you'reprocessing the emotions in this
whole setup.

SPEAKER_00 (18:17):
Yeah.
And for me, one of the biggestblows was when we decided to
separate in 2018.
And he kind of checked outbecause he always kept his full
time job.
And not to say that he didn'thelp out, he really did.
Because he, I see that now thathe felt that he was helping me.
build my dream.
And so he would work hiseight-hour shift and then he

(18:40):
would come to the bakery and hewould do the cleaning and the
floors and the garbages and therecycling and clean the ice
cream machines and clean theovens so that I could focus on
the creativity, the sales, themarketing and all of that.
But when we separated, he kindof checked out and he very
easily let go and was able tosay, well, I work and now I want

(19:00):
a social life.
And so he would schedule himselflike an employee and And I
remember one moment, one daybeing in the shop, one of the
stores, and just having a propergrown-up tantrum and meltdown
and thinking, how the heck canhe check out from this when I'm
doing this for him?

(19:21):
This is his dream.
This is what he wanted.
And here I am grinding it outevery single day from 5 a.m.
to midnight, 1 o'clock in themorning.
trying to keep these businessesgoing for his dream.
And his point of view was, well,I helped her start off her
dream.
She's good now.
Wow.
That's

SPEAKER_01 (19:43):
just, you know, just as you're speaking about it, I
can hear that you're able now toprocess it from so many
different angles because youwere in it.
You've moved outside it.
You've moved to anotherperspective.
You've seen it from hisperspective.
Exactly.
That's a very evolved thing todo.
I want to say grown up ininverted commas, but I don't

(20:05):
know what being grown up reallyis about.

SPEAKER_00 (20:08):
I don't know either.
But, you know, for me, I didn'twant to be known or, you know,
publicity was never a thing.
But one of our Bay Priests wasin a small suburb of Montreal
and he I would say a small townand we're the local ice cream
spot and bakery.
And I'm the girl who blasts themusic, puts her hair up in a bun

(20:29):
and I do what I have to do and Ican stay focused for 12 hours at
a time.
But people would want to meetme.
People would want to discusstheir wedding cakes, their
custom cakes.
And of course, I became the faceof the business.
And so for him...
his perspective was like, whatdo you have to be miserable for?
People love you.
People know you.
You walk down the street andpeople are saying, oh, there's

(20:52):
Emma.
Or the little kids are saying,oh, there's the ice cream lady.
You should love that.
You should be happy.
You should be grateful.
So that plays with your psycheas well because you're saying,
what am I not seeing?
Why am I so ungrateful?
But it's not about not beinggrateful.
It's about not being inalignment with who you are.
I was inspired and creative.

(21:13):
I like building things.
I like starting businesses, thestartup aspect.
Be going from zero to a hundredand then I'm easily able to let
go.
And so to be able to see it nowand say, wow, that was a hot
mess of guilt and both of usdoing things that we thought the
other person wanted and notcommunicating our true desires

(21:34):
and wishes because of all of theguilt and expectations that are
attached in relationships andpartnerships.
And we were not able toauthentically be ourselves and
just embrace each other's wantsand desires and say, okay, well,
we're going to build thisbusiness.
We're going to do great.
And then we're going to let itgo and sell it and move on to
something else.
We attached way too muchexpectations.

SPEAKER_01 (21:55):
Attaching expectations.
Just to add to that, you saidthat you're that person.
You can stay focused for 12hours and getting the buzz, you
know, the startup, the gettingthings started, the adrenaline,
the doing that.
There's so much in what you'resaying that I connect with it so
much.
I get it.
It sounds exactly like whereI've been.

(22:17):
Do you feel that in thosemoments when you were doing
that, did you feel alignment ordo you feel that you were just
expressing your disalignmentthrough creativity?

SPEAKER_00 (22:28):
By staying focused for long periods of time or?

SPEAKER_01 (22:31):
No, more like the actual, you know, the buzz of
getting something started.

SPEAKER_00 (22:36):
No, that's me.
That's my alignment.
I can start.
That's me.
That's where I thrive.
I have this and I never fullyunderstood it until now.
That's why this year has been soamazing in so many ways.
But I'm literally the person whowakes up every single morning
with a new business idea, with anew product idea, with a new

(22:58):
marketing idea.
And I have several of thesethroughout the day.
And it's always been like that.
So running up to your partner oryour friends and being like, oh
my God, I just thought of this.
Wouldn't it be the coolestthing?
And then I start doing theresearch for it.
And does this exist?
And how can we do itdifferently?
And oh my gosh, this would beamazing.
And people get confused becausethey're like, well, you're

(23:19):
already doing something.
So you must be self-sabotaging.
You must be resisting theprocess of what you're focusing
on.
But that's just how my mindworks.
That's part of the curiosity andthe thirst for life and wanting
to do as many things as possibleand staying in alignment.
That is truly who I am.
I love business.

(23:40):
I love people.
I love the creative process.
it all ties in with that littlegirl who is looking at the
grownups doing the same job dayin, day out and hearing the
relatives come home and talkingabout their days and Sue and
Janet and Margaret and Bob didthis again.
And the water cooler is not inthinking, Oh my gosh, they do
this every single day.

(24:01):
So that's authentically who Iam, you know, is not being able
to, and I don't want to sayconform because I'm able to
conform.
I conformed, but it's more ofthe, conforming to the standards
of society of sticking to onething and staying in your lane
for your whole life doesn'tresonate with me.
That's the beauty of RTT,wouldn't you say?

(24:23):
We're doing something differentevery day.
We're meeting new people everyday and it can be the same
presenting issue.
It can be weight.
You can see a hundred people ina month that have weight issues,
but the root cause, the journey,the story, the who they are is
different.
Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 (24:43):
That does.
That makes absolute sense.
And it's so, oh gosh, everythingyou're saying makes sense.
I feel like, you know, eversince we've met, I've always
felt that I just feel like Iknow you.
I feel the same.
You know, and it's sofascinating because I'm hearing
you speak.
Obviously, you're speaking aboutthings here that we haven't

(25:05):
potentially spoken about.
Well, I'm just like, oh my gosh,that's just me.
That just sums me up.
I do the same thing.
I will wake up.
every morning and have differentideas and work them out and
start researching and theconforming side.
So when someone asks me what I'mdoing, this is where it gets a
little bit messy.
And so yes, being ahypnotherapist, having RTT as a

(25:27):
skill in that process is kind ofeasier and it opens things up
exactly like you said.
A

SPEAKER_00 (25:33):
hundred percent.
And when people ask me what Ido, I always say I'm an
entrepreneur.
I'm a serial entrepreneurbecause that's who I am.
So when they say, well, what'syour job?
What's your business?
And it's coming up with new andcreative ideas and seeing how I
can implement it into themarketplace.
But it took me a long time toallow myself to say that.

SPEAKER_01 (25:53):
What was the holdback?
Was it everything around you oryou feeling safe enough to say
that?
What was it?

SPEAKER_00 (26:00):
Yeah, feeling safe enough to say it.
And of course, all of the workthat I've done on myself and
everything I've learned aboutthis life and what is expected
of us for our life here onearth.
You know, my deep and strongconnection to the universe and
just being able to have anawareness of what my purpose is
and finding alignment andsaying, you've always known what

(26:21):
your purpose is.
What are the moments in life?
What can you recall that youfelt the greatest, the lightest
and the happiest?
And it's always when I'mcreating or developing and I'm
inspired by the newness, by thepossibilities, the endless
possibilities.
That's when I feel the greatest.
But to be able to say that whenyou're in the mold and people

(26:44):
ask you what you do, I wouldalways say, oh, I'm a baker.
And it would infuriate my ex.
He'd be like, no, you're abakery owner.
And I'd say, but I'm a baker.
Or I'd say...
I'm an entrepreneur.
I own a business.
But I would always gauge otherpeople's energy.
I would try to feel out theconversation and see how they
would react.
And then I would adapt myself towhat I thought they wanted to

(27:07):
hear.
And I'm able to let go of thatnow.

SPEAKER_01 (27:11):
That is a hell of a lot of pressure on top of
everything else that you'renavigating in that place in
their life.
You're reading the otherperson's energy to gauge where
they are in order to work outwhat you should say or not say.
Yes, I know the feeling.

SPEAKER_00 (27:26):
I've been there

SPEAKER_01 (27:26):
too.

SPEAKER_00 (27:27):
Because there's so many people that your light
shines too bright for them.
And so you need to turn it downand make it more palatable for
them.
And that was part of the beingin the mold and me not being in
alignment with myself was alwaystrying to gauge how other people
would react to the brightness ofmy light.
Yes.

SPEAKER_01 (27:47):
I love the brightness of your light.

SPEAKER_00 (27:50):
I love the brightness

SPEAKER_01 (27:50):
of your light too.
We, again, you know, we'vementioned this before and you
said that you have beendiagnosed with ADHD.
Yeah.
Are you okay to talk about that?
Of course.
I love it.
Because I, as you know, from avery personal thing, my husband
has ADHD and He had a very latediagnosis in life.

(28:15):
Actually, he's opened up myworld to being and living in
such a different place.
So when I started speaking toyou and you were opening up
about your experience, I am sograteful to have been able to
be, you know, you havesuperpowers, like incredible
superpowers.

(28:35):
It just astonishes me at whatyou can achieve and how it
becomes possible.
So tell me about your, you know,as much as you're willing to,
obviously, to your whole kind ofjourney, what happened and how
did that all come about?
It

SPEAKER_00 (28:50):
actually started with my eldest son.
He would have behaviors thatwere questionable or he would,
he's such a highly, highly,intelligent boy from a very
young age.
He would read something, hewould retain it, which is how my
brain works.
So he never had to study.
Doing homework, he'd be donebefore everyone else.
And then he'd get bored.

(29:10):
So he was the class clown.
And so for years, I struggledwith Here's this incredibly
intelligent boy who is easilysurpassing all expectations,
doing the work in class.
He's participating.
He reads at a grade five levelin grade one.
He understands quickly, yeteasily.

(29:30):
the behavioral issues that arecoming up and trying to navigate
with, but he's a good kid.
He's not a troublemaker.
And then through the years,realizing that he's bored, he's
not being challenged enough andgoing through the whole
education system and then tryingto label him.
And when he was in the sixthgrade, I had a conversation with
the principal who said, well,his behavior is becoming a

(29:52):
nuisance.
It's disturbing the teachers.
And as the mom who had beensaying for years, he's just not
challenged enough.

UNKNOWN (29:59):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (30:00):
You know, the work is not challenging enough for
him.
His mind works differently.
So he finishes the work andthere's still an hour for
everyone else to complete it.
And he's expected to sit in hischair and read a book.
But for him in his mind, that'sa punishment because he's done.
He did the work and he gotamazing grades.
And so trying to navigatebetween feeling for him and

(30:20):
seeing that in myself.
The school suggested that we gosee a child psychologist, and we
did.
And he had the ADHD assessmentand the IQ test, and it came out
that his IQ is through the roof.
He has ADHD.
And when he was diagnosed andthe label came out, he was very
resentful and angry.

(30:40):
The psychologist, when she wasgoing through the results with
us, she said that it washereditary, that there was a
component that was hereditary.
And so my son was like, well, ifI did this test, you have to do
it also.
Throughout the whole process, Ikept saying, this is a journey
and I'm walking alongside of youthroughout this journey.
So when he challenged me and hesaid, I did this test, you're

(31:02):
going to do it too.
I laughed and I said, of course,I'll do it.
And of course, it came out thatI have ADHD through the roof.
And I also have ODD, which isoppositional defiance disorder.
So when I talk about conforming,this was the aha moment for me
that made so much sense becausethe authority that I'd been

(31:24):
defying my whole life wasfitting into the mold.
I was 30, 32 years old when Iwas diagnosed with ADHD and ODD.
And so I'd been a highlyfunctioning person with ADHD and
the doctor kind of laughed andshe said, well, you know, we can
definitely put you on medicationor try brain retraining

(31:44):
techniques, but what are yourchallenges?
What does ADHD look like for youand how does this make sense to
you?
And I remember laughing and justtelling her, you know what?
I would just really love for oneday to wake up and remember
exactly where my keys are.
Not be like a little chickenrunning around the house looking
for my keys every day.
Or I'd like to remember certainthings.

(32:06):
Or when people speak, I get soexcited because I can relate
that this impulse to cut themoff, which for a lot of people
that don't have ADHD, makes usseem rude.
Makes us seem rude andself-absorbed and self-centered.
And that was the issue that wasthe hardest for me my whole life
because it was like, I'm notinterrupting you because I'm

(32:26):
self-centered.
I don't want to talk about me.
I just want to tell you that Ifeel you.
So of course I told my son, Isaid, there you go.
There's your answer.
It's hereditary.
You get it from me.
So this is the gift of life thatI've given you.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the story behindthat.

SPEAKER_01 (32:43):
It's interesting because ADHD and ODD for women
well for every individual it'sso different the experience and
yet we're seeing more and morewomen who are actually you know
things that like exactly likeyou said just falling into place
later on in life when thingsjust haven't kind of been easy

(33:04):
or made sense because they'vebeen trying so hard to fit into
this mold on top of another moldand it's In what you're saying,
the education system itself canbe unhelpful in that sense.
process of creating andperpetuating this mold?

SPEAKER_00 (33:19):
100% because they would say things to him like,
well, things come easy to younow, but just you wait.
When you get to high school,you're not going to be able to
just read a paragraph or read achapter, read a book and retain
all the information.
Just you wait.
Life is going to get harder.
You need to study.
You need to focus.
Or he's been told since gradeone.

(33:40):
And this is something that wassaid to me my whole life and so
hurtful and traumatized Butyou're wasting your potential.
You have so much potential.
If only you could calm down,focus, sit down and complete
what you've started.
Or for me in math, when I wasyounger, I would look at a
problem, I would read it and I'dwrite the answer.

(34:02):
And I would get zeros on mytests.
And I would get very low gradesbecause the teacher would want
to see the work.
And I wasn't able...
Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 (34:37):
And that's still the case, especially when it comes
to maths and working out andbeing able to show that.
And it's actually very, verydisheartening when you don't
have the, like you said, be ableto express or explain how you
came to, you know, you've gotthe solution, but how you got
there.

SPEAKER_00 (34:57):
Yeah.
You know, my brain works at adifferent speed.
It's like in my mind, I'm alwaysplaying Tetris.
And this is hilarious, but I'mgoing to share.
My partner now is an engineer.
He's a mechanical engineer.
He's very rational-minded andCartesian and very structured in
task lists, to-do lists.
He's constantly working withblueprints and architecture

(35:20):
firms and math comes so easilyfor him.
And this is his world.
He's so freaking structured.
For him to see someone who'smore free-spirited in our
dynamic and our relationship,but all that to say that we've
just moved in together.
It's been a few weeks now.
And although he's a freakingengineer and he walks around

(35:40):
with a measuring tape and he'sgot his little notebook and he's
got AutoCAD and every room inthe house is on AutoCAD with the
exact measurements, bringingpieces of furniture into the
home will take him two hours togo on AutoCAD to measure,
remeasure, see, and the angles.
And I can look at it andinstantly say, that's going to

(36:00):
work.
I'm going to go up two steps.
I'm going to turn it to the lefta few inches, and then I'm going
to lift it up, turn it to theright, and it'll go in.
And, you know, at first we'dhave all these arguments and
he's like, well, you can't justknow that.
You can't just know that.
I have my measuring tape and thedoorframe is this many inches
and blah, blah, blah.
And I would say, yeah, butbecause I'm constantly playing
Tetris in my mind.
So for me, I can see it.

(36:21):
I just see it.
It fits.
And I'm going to figure it outwhen I get there.
So just grab your end of thepiece of furniture and just do
as I say.
And the frustration because hismind doesn't see it.
And it's hilarious when youwatch us because anyone in their
right mind would see me and go,she needs to quit while she's
ahead because he's an engineer.
He's got a freaking measuringtape tattooed on his butt.

(36:43):
The guy does this for a living.
So what is she doing?
And you know what?
He laughs all the time because Idon't want to say I'm always
right.
But oftentimes he looks at meafter completely puzzled and he
will never say you're right, buthe'll say yes.
Well, that was lucky.
I don't know how that fit, butthat was lucky.
That worked.
I didn't think of it like that.

(37:04):
Or I didn't think of turning iton its side so it wouldn't be so
wide.
Something that for me is like,are you kidding me?
He didn't think of turning thebookshelf on the more narrow
end.
But for him, it's just, that'smy life.
Trying to constantly convincepeople that I can see it.
You can't, but

SPEAKER_01 (37:23):
I can.
That is so brilliant.
Because that's, like I said,it's like...
your superpower right becauseyou can have structure and logic
and everything else measuringtapes and all these apparatus
and equipment but ultimatelyyou're getting to that point and
you're like nope let's get intoit and we'll make it work

SPEAKER_00 (37:42):
100% it's like just do it yeah You know,

SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
brilliant.
And so I'm going to bring youback to the RTT because you have
got some plans in the pipeline.
And just generally in terms ofwhat you're able to offer to
people, because everything thatyou're offering is that you're
able to share with people interms of your, not only just

(38:08):
your experience, but the skillsets that you've really
developed in this space.
pandemic or panoramic, which Iknow you call it too.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
One of the things that isreally, really important, and I
feel that you'll get this when Isay this is the pandemic has had
a significant impact on so manypeople for so many different

(38:31):
reasons and yet not everybody islike us kind of going through it
and you know growing at atotally different rate if that
makes sense and I mean size wiseas well because food yeah
exactly but you know what is itthat you're making available
now?
Because life is different foryou.

(38:53):
You're in a different place.
Your alignment is there.

SPEAKER_00 (38:57):
So what does life look like for you now?
You know, I've been askingmyself for the last few months,
what does it look like?
What are all these pieces?
I always joke about followingthe breadcrumbs that the
universe lays out in front ofme.
And I've taken the leap.
I've followed the breadcrumbs.
And what became clear to me isthat people resonate with things

(39:17):
people with others who have gonethrough similar situations.
For me, I've always been veryreserved, very private about my
struggles in life, my journey.
My father was a narcissist.
My mom was an alcoholic.
She left when I was three monthsold.
I was raised by my grandmotherwho suffered from manic

(39:37):
depression, verbally abusive,and going back to live with my
dad in my teenage years andsuffering physical abuse and
sexual abuse.
Through all of that, when I waseight years old, I was diagnosed
with rheumatoid arthritis.
And you in my eyes.
So struggling with the healthissues my whole life and sort of

(39:59):
navigating and growing upthrough that and leaving home
when I was 15, because for me,it was a question of survival
and never sharing that.
And then my relationship with myex-husband, who I would say out
of 15 years, 16 years, we hadone great year.
And then he started becomingunfaithful and cheated on me
through the whole relationship.

(40:20):
And birth of my kids and thenmiscarrying our third son and
finding out he's still beingunfaithful during all of that
time leading up to the pointwhere in 2014 the inflammation
in my eyes had become so chronicthat for years my central retina
in my right eye had becomedetached Starting 2010, after I

(40:42):
lost my son, I was diagnosedwith glaucoma in my right eye.
And by 2014, the pressure hadcompletely deflated.
My eye deflated like abasketball.
And having been faced with theonly solution, which was to
remove my right eye, goingthrough this with two little
kids in a relationship that youknow your husband's being

(41:03):
unfaithful.
taking the decision, having youreye removed, going through all
of that, questioning yourself.
I gained so much weight.
I'd been diagnosed withdiabetes.
I mean, it was a hot freakingmess.
And then coming out on the otherside of that and trusting him to
start a business, knowing that,but wanting so desperately to

(41:23):
make him happy and to makemyself happy and to try to
salvage my family, which endedup, you know, You can't salvage
what is broken, so deeply brokenfrom the start.
But I realized now that that'swhat I'm here to do.
I'm here to share my story.
And that's what AccessConsciousness and RTT and

(41:45):
studying mindfulness, studyingliving consciously is.
That's the answers I'm gettingis that you didn't go through
all of that so that you couldkeep it compartmentalized in a
little box inside of you.
You're there to speak about itbecause you help through
sharing.
You help through speaking aboutyour journey.
People want to know how did yougo through it?

(42:08):
How did you survive?
What was...
the pivotal moment in your lifewhere you decided to choose
yourself.
How did you keep waking up everymorning, being a mom?
How did you lose the 65 pounds?
So this is what I realized thatI'm here to share my story.
And that is the mostfrightening, the most
uncomfortable.
And I think that's thechallenge.

(42:29):
That was the last challenge forme.
I don't want to say through mywhole life, but in this last
year was okay.
Now you have the knowledge andthe skills, but this is your
last test.
Emmanuel, you have to share whatyou've gone through.
That's how people will resonate.
That's how you'll reach them.
That's how you can inspire them.
And now with the skills you'veacquired, you can actually help

(42:50):
them take the first step, takethe leap to step into their
greatness, to change their livesif they're ready.
And so that's where I am now isallowing myself to share my
story, not looking for pity.
I've never worn the victim hat.
I've never looked for pity.
And just to allow myself toshare my story and say, it's
okay that you're sharing.

(43:11):
You're sharing so you caninspire and hopefully help a few
people.
You're not doing this forattention.
You're doing this because you'vegone through this for a reason.
You understand what that reasonis now.
And so that's where I am.
What

SPEAKER_01 (43:26):
an

SPEAKER_00 (43:26):
incredible,

SPEAKER_01 (43:27):
incredible place to be.
And yet at the same time, likeyou said, it's still
uncomfortable.
It's still not easy.

SPEAKER_00 (43:35):
Because it's new.
And we know, right?
Our mind wants to keep us safe.
So we stay in the familiar.
Yeah.
But just reading commentssometimes online in forums and
I'll read someone say, well, Ihave two earth babies and I have
an angel baby.
Like never would I speak aboutmy miscarriage.
I wouldn't speak about itbecause it was like, it's

(43:56):
something that I've gone throughand I don't need to burden
anyone else.
And just seeing other womenbeing brave and being vulnerable
and saying, well, she didn't saythat because she's looking for
pity.
She didn't say that becauseshe's looking for attention.
She's saying that because she'sacknowledging that she has a
third child.
And that's love.
That's coming to terms with thehardships.

(44:18):
And that's bringing meaning tothe hardships.

SPEAKER_01 (44:20):
Yeah, absolutely.
I get that.
And like you said, it's yourtruth.

SPEAKER_00 (44:25):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (44:26):
And it's up to you when you're ready to share it.
And actually sharing it opens upa whole new world for

SPEAKER_00 (44:35):
It does.
And the part for us, I feel withthe skills that we've amassed
and you as a life coach, I'msure you see this all the time
is people often say that they'reready, but a part of them still
wants to hold on to the oldscript because that's
comfortable.

SPEAKER_01 (44:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, how many times do I dothat?
but I'm learning how to coachmyself out of it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 (44:58):
It's true.
And just to create your ownnarrative.
And that's the tricky problem ornot the tricky problem, but
definitely beautiful contrast iswhen you're speaking of your
story.
And then I also talk so muchabout the law of attraction
because I believe in it so much.
It's how I live my life.
And so people will say, well,yeah, but do you really think

(45:19):
that you created a reality inwhich you ended up losing a
child or losing an eye or apartner that was unfaithful and
that's where people have theresistance they say well how
could you have attracted that toyourself how could you have
unconsciously manifested suchhorrible things and that's why

(45:40):
consciousness and awareness issuch a big piece of the puzzle

SPEAKER_01 (45:45):
Absolutely agree.
And I feel like we're going tocarry on having so many
conversations.
But Emmanuel, where can peopleget in touch with you?
Your details will be included inthe show notes as well.
But

SPEAKER_00 (45:59):
how can they reach out to you?
Oh my gosh, they can reach outto me via my website, which is
rapidtransformation.ca.
And they can also email me, emmaat rapidtransformation.ca.
Yeah, they can get in touch.
All of the details are on thewebsite.
I'm always here

SPEAKER_01 (46:17):
thank

SPEAKER_00 (46:17):
you so

SPEAKER_01 (46:18):
much

SPEAKER_00 (46:18):
thank you for this beautiful conversation I
appreciate you I

SPEAKER_01 (46:22):
absolutely appreciate you you're incredible

SPEAKER_00 (46:25):
thank you for having me on your amazing podcast

SPEAKER_01 (46:28):
I hope you enjoyed that thank you for joining me
for this episode of EternalParadigm join me next time
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