Gaslighting & Toxic Relationships with Dr. Stephanie Moulton Sarkis

If you’ve ever felt confused, second-guessed yourself in a relationship, or wondered if someone in your life is emotionally manipulating you, this episode is one you need to hear.

More info, resources & ways to connect - https://www.tacosfallapart.com/podcast-live-show/podcast-guests/dr-stephanie-sarkis

On this episode of Even Tacos Fall Apart, I sat down with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis to talk about toxic relationships, gaslighting, and the real challenges of healing from emotional abuse. Stephanie is a licensed mental health counselor, a mediator, and an author of multiple books, including Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People—and Break Free. She’s also a contributor to Forbes and Psychology Today, and she hosts her own podcast, Talking Brains. Basically, she knows her stuff.

Stephanie shared how she was always the person friends came to for relationship advice, and after originally planning to work for CNN, she pivoted to counseling and never looked back. Her work, especially her books, are inspired by real-life experiences from her clients—many of whom struggle with gaslighting, ADHD, anxiety and depression. She said the feedback she gets from readers who’ve found the courage to leave toxic relationships is one of the most rewarding parts of her work.

We talked a lot about gaslighting—what it is, how it works, and what it looks like. According to Stephanie, gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse designed to make you question your reality. It often starts small and escalates until you’re isolated and unsure of your own thoughts. It can include things like hiding your stuff and blaming you for it, love-bombing you early on, then tearing you down, or pitting you against people close to you. She made it very clear: gaslighting is all about control.

Stephanie also broke down the stages of gaslighting—idealization, devaluation and discard—and how those phases mess with your head. And if you’re wondering whether narcissists are involved, the answer is yes—often. Especially the kind who never think they’re the problem and rarely show up for therapy unless it’s to blame someone else.

We also talked about the trickiness of co-parenting with a gaslighter, especially if you can’t go completely no-contact. Stephanie had practical advice for managing communication through apps like Our Family Wizard and Talking Parents, keeping interactions minimal and getting everything documented.

When it comes to healing, Stephanie stressed the importance of therapy, support systems, and going completely no-contact if possible. She said that survivors often carry guilt and shame, especially when the abuser is a parent or partner. But it’s okay to protect your peace. You don’t owe anyone continued access to you—especially someone who’s hurt you.

The interview wasn’t all heavy—we laughed about tone checkers for work emails, how pets can spot a toxic person before you can, and how important it is to find humor even when things are hard. Stephanie also shared her favorite poem (Richard Cory) and how it reminds her that we never really know what someone’s going through.

This conversation was real, honest and empowering—just what Mental Health Monday is all about.