March 4, 2025 • 24 mins
Have you ever felt so drained that even a full night's sleep doesn’t help? This episode dives into the real reason moms are running on fumes—and why waiting for the "right time" to rest isn’t the answer. We’ll explore the hidden signs of exhaustion, from snapping over small things to forgetting why you walked into a room, and uncover what your body is really trying to tell you. Plus, you’ll learn simple shifts to recharge before you hit a full burnout. If you’re stuck in survival mode, this one's for you.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- How to recognize red flags of exhaustion before hitting a wall
- The societal pressures that push moms into survival mode
- The four types of exhaustion—physical, emotional, mental, and social—and how to identify them
- Why “mom brain” isn’t just forgetfulness but a sign of mental fatigue
- A simple mindset shift that helps you prioritize self-care without feeling guilty
Noteworthy Quotes from This Episode:
“If you’re constantly telling yourself, ‘I’ll rest when things slow down,’ but that slowdown never comes, your body is already waving a white flag.”
“You are more than just a mom, more than just a wife, more than just an employee—you deserve more than survival mode.”
“Self-care isn’t about escaping your life—it’s about nurturing yourself while living it."
“Rest is not a reward—it’s basic maintenance for keeping yourself alive and well.”
“Feeling forgetful or mentally drained isn’t just ‘mom brain’..."
“The price of doing it all is high—whether it’s snapping at your kids, crying in the bathroom, or feeling like you’re barely holding on.”
Your Energy Matters—Let’s Protect It!
This week, take the #EnergyCheck Challenge:
Pause for a moment and ask yourself—what kind of exhaustion am I feeling most right now? Physical? Mental? Emotional? Social?
Choose one small way to replenish that energy and put it into action. Maybe it’s a 5-minute break, saying no to one extra task, or getting to bed 30 minutes earlier.
Share your experience on Instagram and tag me—let’s support each other in making rest a priority!
Resources & Links:
✨ How To Find Energy in Your Transition Times Blog Post:
https://alignedasamother.com/how-to-boost-your-energy-build-mindfulness/
✨ Book an Energy Strategy Call with me – let’s create a plan that fits your life! https://calendly.com/siobhan-everwellcoaching/30min
✨ Join the Everwell Mama Instagram Community for daily energy tips: @everwellcoaching
Connect with Siobhan:
- Tired of being tired? Go from “Too Tired” to “Ready for Anything” with Siobhan’s 21 Energy Hacks
- Book a free Energy Strategy Call
- Instagram: @everwellcoaching
- Website: everwellcoaching.com
About Siobhan Bingham
Siobhan Bingham coaches tired working moms to boost their energy to show up better for their kids, their partner, their work, and themselves. Using her ALIGN framework, she provides personalized strategies to break free from exhaustion and create a daily rhythm that works with your life—no
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hey mama.
Welcome back to Everwell.
Mama, I see you the one that'srunning on fumes, telling
yourself, I'm gonna rest whenthings slow down.
But what if that slow down isn'tcoming and your body's waving a
white flag right now?
Have you ever gone into a roomand thought, what did I even
(00:21):
come in here for?
Or snapping because your kidknocked something over by
accident and then immediatelythinking to yourself, this isn't
who I want to be.
If any of that sounds familiar,then this episode is for you.
(01:18):
All right.
Mamas today is all aboutnoticing those red flags before
you hit the wall and shiftingself-care from a nice to have
into something that you actuallydeserve.
'cause this isn't about guilt,it's about coming home to
yourself.
How many times have you said, ifI can just get through today, or
(01:40):
this week, and then the next dayand the next day, the next week
and the next week, the nextmonth and the next month, it's
like chasing this finish linethat just keeps moving.
Society loves to celebrate thismom who does it all.
The mom who is able to workfull-time hours, always be there
(02:01):
for her kids when they needthem, is able to participate in
all of the afterschoolactivities, during school
activities, able to cook all themeals from scratch.
Who's able to keep it animmaculately clean house and
doing all of these pieces all onher own.
This is either impossible toachieve or you're doing these
(02:25):
things, but you're not reallyable to completely do all of
them well.
There's a price to being able todo it all.
You're either snapping at yourkids, you're crying in the
bathroom, or you feel likeyou're barely holding on.
You're just pushing through yourdays trying to survive, but you
(02:49):
deserve more than survival mode.
You're a human being who is onthis earth.
As more than just a mom, as morethan just a wife, as more than
just an employee, as more thanjust a business owner.
You are here in order to liveyour best life, whatever that
looks like.
And if you've ever felt guiltyfor wanting break, you're not
(03:10):
alone.
I think that's every mom outthere.
Everyone needs a break, everyonce in a while.
But remember that rest is not areward.
This is basic care, basicmaintenance to keeping yourself
alive and well.
Even on the days when you don'tcheck a single thing off of your
(03:30):
to-do list, you matter, and youare probably checking off a lot
more than you think.
Every time you are able to sitdown, look your kids in the eye.
Every single time that you areable to tell them you love them,
every single time, you're ableto make sure that they get
(03:51):
through the whole day.
You know, you kept people alivetoday, including yourself.
That is amazing, and you shouldcelebrate that no matter what
your day looks like.
You absolutely matter, and thework that you're doing is
invaluable.
I'm gonna say that again, thework that you do is invaluable,
(04:15):
let's get into the signs thatyour body is asking for a break.
Now, when you start to feellike, oh my God, like my body's
just giving out on me, like Ijust can't do what I used to do.
I can't.
Push myself out of bed anymore.
I used to be able to do X, Y, Zwith my body, and now I'm just
like dragging along every day.
(04:36):
If any of that sounds familiar,your body's not betraying you.
It's talking to you.
But the question is, are youlistening and are you listening
while it's still talking, or areyou listening once it starts to
scream at you?
And if you've been payingattention and following along on
Instagram, you've seen that Ihave been talking about the many
(04:59):
different ways of being tired.
And if you've listened toprevious episodes, I have also
gone into each of these in alittle bit more depth.
But let's give a little bit ofcontext for how you can be tired
and some signs that your bodywould be asking for a break in
all of these different ways.
So physically you've got thatbone deep exhaustion.
(05:20):
You've got headaches that arecreeping in by mid-afternoon.
You've got random aches andpains around your body that you
don't remember injuring yourselfor having any sort of reason for
these aches and pains to bethere.
But all of a sudden you'rereally uncomfortable.
This isn't just mom life.
(05:41):
This isn't just getting older.
That's your body waving that redflag saying, Hey, there's
something wrong here.
Pay attention pleaseemotionally.
Someone might think that you'rein a bad mood or you're having a
rough day, but it's when you'relosing patience over things that
normally wouldn't bug you whenthe whining seems to just be at
(06:06):
its peak for you when you can'tbe the best mediator between
sibling arguments when yourpartner says something to you.
That is usually taken as a jokeand you feel like you want to
cry.
That is not a bad mood.
That is not you being sensitive.
That's exhaustion.
(06:26):
That is pure emotionalexhaustion out there, ready to
tell you, I am tired.
Please let me rest mentally.
This one, I think.
Everyone can relate to veryeasily because this is one of
the first ways that we often seethat we're tired.
(06:49):
I've had clients tell me beforethat I thought I was just really
scatterbrained, or I thoughtthis was just mom brain, or I
thought that I was just likegetting older and not able to
have my brain work at peakcapacity anymore.
I thought this was just like abrain fog.
But I realized that my brain wasactually tired from carrying
(07:10):
everything mentally.
You show your exhaustion whenyou're forgetting things or
you're literally dreading basictasks.
All of these things are not justmom brain.
It's not just brain fog, it'snot just being scatterbrained.
You're not a space cadet.
Your mind is overworked, it'stired, it needs to rest.
(07:35):
So take a little breath for asecond because naming all of
those can sometimes feel alittle triggering And then I
want you to just take stock ofwhere you're at right now, this
week as you're listening.
Okay.
Which one of these signs soundsthe most familiar to you?
And remember, to be honest withyourself without judgment, just
(07:56):
noticing which one do you thinkyou are right now?
Are you more physically tired?
Are you more mentally tired, orare you more emotionally tired?
And I also wanna add in sociallytired, because this is something
that we don't always.
Think of, unless you're anintrovert, you probably think
about it a lot, but you usuallydon't really think about being
(08:21):
socially tired.
Socially tired is like whensomeone is being spoken to all
day.
Think about how many times a dayyou hear the word mom or mommy
or mommy or whatever it is thatthey call you, how many emails
you're getting that you feellike you have to respond to that
day.
how many meetings you're in, allof those social obligations that
(08:42):
you are being a part of.
And then at the end of the day,if literally anyone even talks
to you or looks at you, you likewanna scream inside, that is you
being socially tired.
Like if someone tries to reachout to connect with you and you
instantly want to put up a walland say leave me the hell alone,
(09:03):
that is being socially tired.
So again, think about which oneof these signs sounds the most
familiar to you right now inthis week.
cause that is the first one thatI want you to focus on.
Remember that anything that youdo, you are no trying to
overwhelm yourself by fixingeverything in your life all at
once.
(09:23):
It's not gonna work, it's notgonna be sustainable.
You're gonna burn yourself ineven more trying to make those
changes.
We wanna make really small,meaningful changes in the areas
that we need the most help inright now.
Now, if you've been listening atall, I'm sure you know that I am
all about self-care.
Being a part of your normalday-to-day life, it's not
(09:48):
something that you're having tosacrifice for.
It's not something that you'rehaving to run away and escape
your life for.
It's about nurturing yourselfwhile you are going about your
day, while you are caring foryour kids, while you are caring
(10:08):
for the work that you do everyday.
How are you also taking time tonurture yourself and to make
sure that you are doing yourbest?
So an example of this would bethat age old.
Idea of mama staying up lateafter the kids go to bed and
everything else is done so thatshe can get a little bit of
(10:31):
quiet time, right?
She's like, okay, I have toomany things on my list right
now.
I'm just gonna like, bam, bam,bam, bam, bam, all day long.
Keep it going, keep it going,keep it going, and I'm gonna
rest after the kids go to bed.
After the dishes are done, afterthe living room's cleaned up,
after all of these things, thenI'll have time for myself at the
end of the night.
And then she's probably gonnastay up late scrolling on her
(10:52):
phone or doing something elsethat's gonna keep her up even
later.
And then she's probably gonna bewoken up early and she's gonna
be even more exhausted the nextday because she's pushed herself
throughout the whole day.
She's tired, she's staying uplate, she's waking up early.
None of those things are gonnahelp you to have more energy.
(11:13):
So instead of thinking, I'mgonna rest later.
Try and shift that mindset a bitto, I'm gonna grab five quiet
minutes now, because whatever itis that's waiting for you, the
laundry, the dishes, whatever itis, those things are going
anywhere.
They're still gonna be there,ready and waiting for you in
(11:34):
five more minutes.
But when you take those quickmoments for yourself throughout
the day.
You're filling up that tankbefore you fully crash, before
you fully empty that tank.
It's kind of like if you'redriving in your car and you see
a gas station, right?
(11:54):
And you're like, oh no, it'sfine.
I've got like another 50kilometers to go.
I can keep going.
So you drive some more.
And then you hit another gasstation and you're like, Hmm,
should I fill up here?
No, I've got another 25kilometers to go.
I'm gonna keep going.
And then eventually you're atlike five kilometers left and
you're like, I really need a gasstation right now.
(12:17):
Otherwise my car is gonna breakdown on the side of the road.
But if you had stopped at thatvery first gas station.
Gave yourself just a little topup, like you didn't have to do a
full fill up, but just put inthat extra 20 bucks, whatever it
is, right?
Then you would have enough tohave kept going past that last
gas station.
(12:37):
So how can you this week chooseto nurture yourself and get that
little tiny fill up, that littletiny boost of gas throughout
your day so that you're notrunning on empty at the end of
the day?
Another way to make sure thatyou are going to succeed in
(12:57):
making these changes and makingsure that you aren't going to
keep running on empty is toreally be mindful of your why.
Why are you listening to thisright now?
Why are you wanting to make achange?
For me, it was.
(13:18):
That feeling of being constantlyoverwhelmed, like there was just
so much on my plate.
Even when I asked for help, Istill felt like I was bogged
down.
I was snapping at my kids, likeI just wasn't the parent that I
wanted to be.
And that wasn't to say that Iwas a bad mom or a bad employee
(13:38):
or a bad business owner or anyof those things.
It was just my body asking formore care.
What is your why?
For me, it's my family, and somy family doesn't need me to run
on empty.
And your family doesn't need yourunning on empty either.
They need you whole, and if youare in the thick of it right
(13:59):
now, if making that shift feelsimpossible, I've got you book a
quick energy strategy call withme and I can help you figure out
where to start without addingmore to your plate.
But let's get right into how tostart listening to your body.
To listen to your body, you needto get out of your brain for a
minute.
Your brain?
(14:19):
Very good at running at ahundred miles a second.
Your body?
Not so much.
So pause for a second and thinkabout how your body feels right
now.
Okay.
Do you have tight shoulders?
Do you have some big bags andtired eyes?
I just want you to notice it.
Don't think that you have to fixanything right now.
Just notice what's going on.
(14:41):
Notice where you're clenching.
Is it your jaw?
Is it your hands?
Is it between your eyebrows?
Just try to let that soften up abit.
And this is a quick thing thatyou can do any day at all times
of the day in 30 seconds orless.
As you're sitting down typingthat email, just let your
shoulders drop down a little bitas you are.
(15:04):
Maneuvering through trafficunclench your jaw.
Just notice how you are feelingand how your body is responding
to your environment in themoment that you're in.
This is a quick mindfulnesspractice that can really make a
huge difference in your energylevels every day.
Another way to listen to yourbody a little bit better is to
(15:26):
allow yourself the honor ofhaving small rests.
So it could be as simple assitting down for three minutes
while you have your hot drink,whether that's your coffee or
your tea, whatever it is, andjust not letting yourself go to
that list of to-dos that counts.
(15:46):
That is a small rest.
It's very little time out ofyour day, and it's giving
yourself that little boost, thatlittle extra oomph to keep
going.
And especially if you are a momwho is very good at seeing the
next thing that needs to be doneand wanting to achieve the next
task, check off the next thingon your to-do list.
(16:08):
I want you to put it into yourcalendar, put it into however
you plan out your day, theselittle breaks.
It could be one 10 minute slot,it could be.
Five, two minute slots.
It could be two five minuteslots.
However much time you've got inyour day, plan it in.
Say for these 10 minutes, forthese however many minutes at a
(16:31):
time, I am going to take a breakand these little bits of time
can shift your entire day.
You are going to have so muchmore energy by the end of the
day by allowing yourself thosemini moments of rest and break
so that you're not constantly onthe go, running, pushing through
(16:53):
all of the time.
And again, you deserve thattime.
You matter and your timematters.
So utilize it to the best ofyour ability.
And again, we're not overhaulingyour whole life.
We're not saying you've gottatake a whole hour every day, or
(17:13):
you've gotta spend theseexorbitant amounts of time or
money to get rest.
That's not realistic, that's notgonna happen for most moms.
But having little sprinkles ofmoments of care in your day is
still gonna make a big, bigimpact.
Think about if you go to a pondor a body of water that is still
(17:36):
preferably, and you find areally big rock, and you take
that rock, you heft it over yourhead and you toss it in when it
goes in, it's gonna make a hugesplash.
It's gonna ripple out, and thenit's gonna be done.
And until you have the strengthand energy to pick up another
big rock.
That's all you're gonna get fromthat one big rock.
(17:57):
That's the equivalent of yougoing on that spa day or doing
that big thing.
It's great for the moment.
It's a big thing.
It feels really good, reallyheavy, really impactful.
But it's gonna ripple out formaybe a couple days and then
you're gonna be tired again.
You're gonna be back in the samesituation you were in before.
(18:19):
Now, if you were to take ahandful of pebbles though.
And toss in a couple here, acouple there, and like just keep
tossing a couple.
Every now and then you're gonnasee a bunch of ripples
happening, and it's gonna bespread out.
It's gonna be more sporadic andit's gonna keep the water moving
for a longer amount of time.
(18:40):
So this is the exact same thingthat we're trying to do with our
energy levels.
We don't want to just throw thatbig rock once.
And be stuck in the samesituation.
We want to have little sprinklesof care in our day, little
sprinkles of moments just for uswhere we can have this time to
(19:00):
really care for ourselves.
I actually had a mom reach outto me on Instagram not too long
ago who said that she has gottenso much more time.
For herself in the day andenergy for herself every day by
trying my trick of transitions.
So for 15 minutes after dinner,she would just sit outside and
(19:24):
she said that it was the firsttime in weeks that she felt like
herself and like how incredibleis it that she was able to do
that?
To take those small bits of timein that transitionary period.
You know, the kids were off toplay, hubby was cleaning up from
dinner and she was able to justsit outside for a little bit.
(19:46):
And if you are at all curiousabout transition times and how
to make the most out of that, Iwill put a link in the show
notes to my blog post that I didon the aligned as a mother blog
that has a bunch of differentideas of how to incorporate
moments of care into transitiontimes.
Because I promise you, you'vegot a lot of those in your day.
(20:07):
Now, unfortunately, as much aswe would love to be back in our
school days, maybe not back atschool, but back when we were
kids and we didn't have so manyresponsibilities.
If you think back to schooldays, you would probably have
some sort of hall pass orbathroom pass or something like
that that allowed you to go andtake your break, right?
(20:29):
You could go to the bathroom,you could take your time as
you're walking through thehallway, feel really cool and
that was your way and permissionslip to kind of have that little
bit of rest mentally betweenrecesses or between your break
times that were alreadyscheduled into the day.
Now that you're a grownup andnow that you're a mom, no one is
(20:52):
going to be handing you thatpermission slip to rest unless
you've got an amazing mom ormother-in-law who don't work and
have all the time and energy inthe world to help you.
No one's gonna be handing youthat permission slip to rest.
So you've gotta go ahead andwrite your own permission slip.
You've gotta claim it yourselfand say, I am worthy of care.
(21:14):
Not because I earned it, butbecause I exist.
So say it with me.
I am worthy of care.
Not because I earned it, butbecause I exist, period.
You are worthy of care myfriend.
Because you exist.
(21:36):
So my challenge for you thisweek is to think back to what
area you were feeling mostexhausted in which part was
feeling most challenging, andthink about just one tiny shift
that you can make today, notnext week, today.
cause you don't have to keeppushing through.
(21:57):
Your body's talking to you, andhopefully it's still just
talking and not screaming atyou, but your job is to listen
to it.
So pause for just five minutestoday.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Just check in with yourself andsee how you actually feel.
And in case you didn't get themessage yet, you are not a bad
(22:18):
mom for needing rest.
You are human.
And humans deserve care nomatter how old they are or how
many responsibilities they haveon their plate.
And if you are ready to stoprunning on empty and you have
been listening and you'rethinking, yeah, you know, I
really need to make a change,but I have no idea what tiny
(22:41):
tweak I'm gonna try, I have noidea what the next step looks
like for me.
Let's figure it out together.
You can book a free energystrategy call with no pressure,
just support, and the link isdown in the show notes and until
then, I will catch you in thenext one.
Hey mama.
Welcome back to Everwell.
Mama, I see you the one that'srunning on fumes, telling
yourself, I'm gonna rest whenthings slow down.
But what if that slow down isn'tcoming and your body's waving a
white flag right now?
Have you ever gone into a roomand thought, what did I even
(00:21):
come in here for?
Or snapping because your kidknocked something over by
accident and then immediatelythinking to yourself, this isn't
who I want to be.
If any of that sounds familiar,then this episode is for you.
(01:18):
All right.
Mamas today is all aboutnoticing those red flags before
you hit the wall and shiftingself-care from a nice to have
into something that you actuallydeserve.
'cause this isn't about guilt,it's about coming home to
yourself.
How many times have you said, ifI can just get through today, or
(01:40):
this week, and then the next dayand the next day, the next week
and the next week, the nextmonth and the next month, it's
like chasing this finish linethat just keeps moving.
Society loves to celebrate thismom who does it all.
The mom who is able to workfull-time hours, always be there
(02:01):
for her kids when they needthem, is able to participate in
all of the afterschoolactivities, during school
activities, able to cook all themeals from scratch.
Who's able to keep it animmaculately clean house and
doing all of these pieces all onher own.
This is either impossible toachieve or you're doing these
(02:25):
things, but you're not reallyable to completely do all of
them well.
There's a price to being able todo it all.
You're either snapping at yourkids, you're crying in the
bathroom, or you feel likeyou're barely holding on.
You're just pushing through yourdays trying to survive, but you
(02:49):
deserve more than survival mode.
You're a human being who is onthis earth.
As more than just a mom, as morethan just a wife, as more than
just an employee, as more thanjust a business owner.
You are here in order to liveyour best life, whatever that
looks like.
And if you've ever felt guiltyfor wanting break, you're not
(03:10):
alone.
I think that's every mom outthere.
Everyone needs a break, everyonce in a while.
But remember that rest is not areward.
This is basic care, basicmaintenance to keeping yourself
alive and well.
Even on the days when you don'tcheck a single thing off of your
(03:30):
to-do list, you matter, and youare probably checking off a lot
more than you think.
Every time you are able to sitdown, look your kids in the eye.
Every single time that you areable to tell them you love them,
every single time, you're ableto make sure that they get
(03:51):
through the whole day.
You know, you kept people alivetoday, including yourself.
That is amazing, and you shouldcelebrate that no matter what
your day looks like.
You absolutely matter, and thework that you're doing is
invaluable.
I'm gonna say that again, thework that you do is invaluable,
(04:15):
let's get into the signs thatyour body is asking for a break.
Now, when you start to feellike, oh my God, like my body's
just giving out on me, like Ijust can't do what I used to do.
I can't.
Push myself out of bed anymore.
I used to be able to do X, Y, Zwith my body, and now I'm just
like dragging along every day.
(04:36):
If any of that sounds familiar,your body's not betraying you.
It's talking to you.
But the question is, are youlistening and are you listening
while it's still talking, or areyou listening once it starts to
scream at you?
And if you've been payingattention and following along on
Instagram, you've seen that Ihave been talking about the many
(04:59):
different ways of being tired.
And if you've listened toprevious episodes, I have also
gone into each of these in alittle bit more depth.
But let's give a little bit ofcontext for how you can be tired
and some signs that your bodywould be asking for a break in
all of these different ways.
So physically you've got thatbone deep exhaustion.
(05:20):
You've got headaches that arecreeping in by mid-afternoon.
You've got random aches andpains around your body that you
don't remember injuring yourselfor having any sort of reason for
these aches and pains to bethere.
But all of a sudden you'rereally uncomfortable.
This isn't just mom life.
(05:41):
This isn't just getting older.
That's your body waving that redflag saying, Hey, there's
something wrong here.
Pay attention pleaseemotionally.
Someone might think that you'rein a bad mood or you're having a
rough day, but it's when you'relosing patience over things that
normally wouldn't bug you whenthe whining seems to just be at
(06:06):
its peak for you when you can'tbe the best mediator between
sibling arguments when yourpartner says something to you.
That is usually taken as a jokeand you feel like you want to
cry.
That is not a bad mood.
That is not you being sensitive.
That's exhaustion.
(06:26):
That is pure emotionalexhaustion out there, ready to
tell you, I am tired.
Please let me rest mentally.
This one, I think.
Everyone can relate to veryeasily because this is one of
the first ways that we often seethat we're tired.
(06:49):
I've had clients tell me beforethat I thought I was just really
scatterbrained, or I thoughtthis was just mom brain, or I
thought that I was just likegetting older and not able to
have my brain work at peakcapacity anymore.
I thought this was just like abrain fog.
But I realized that my brain wasactually tired from carrying
(07:10):
everything mentally.
You show your exhaustion whenyou're forgetting things or
you're literally dreading basictasks.
All of these things are not justmom brain.
It's not just brain fog, it'snot just being scatterbrained.
You're not a space cadet.
Your mind is overworked, it'stired, it needs to rest.
(07:35):
So take a little breath for asecond because naming all of
those can sometimes feel alittle triggering And then I
want you to just take stock ofwhere you're at right now, this
week as you're listening.
Okay.
Which one of these signs soundsthe most familiar to you?
And remember, to be honest withyourself without judgment, just
(07:56):
noticing which one do you thinkyou are right now?
Are you more physically tired?
Are you more mentally tired, orare you more emotionally tired?
And I also wanna add in sociallytired, because this is something
that we don't always.
Think of, unless you're anintrovert, you probably think
about it a lot, but you usuallydon't really think about being
(08:21):
socially tired.
Socially tired is like whensomeone is being spoken to all
day.
Think about how many times a dayyou hear the word mom or mommy
or mommy or whatever it is thatthey call you, how many emails
you're getting that you feellike you have to respond to that
day.
how many meetings you're in, allof those social obligations that
(08:42):
you are being a part of.
And then at the end of the day,if literally anyone even talks
to you or looks at you, you likewanna scream inside, that is you
being socially tired.
Like if someone tries to reachout to connect with you and you
instantly want to put up a walland say leave me the hell alone,
(09:03):
that is being socially tired.
So again, think about which oneof these signs sounds the most
familiar to you right now inthis week.
cause that is the first one thatI want you to focus on.
Remember that anything that youdo, you are no trying to
overwhelm yourself by fixingeverything in your life all at
once.
(09:23):
It's not gonna work, it's notgonna be sustainable.
You're gonna burn yourself ineven more trying to make those
changes.
We wanna make really small,meaningful changes in the areas
that we need the most help inright now.
Now, if you've been listening atall, I'm sure you know that I am
all about self-care.
Being a part of your normalday-to-day life, it's not
(09:48):
something that you're having tosacrifice for.
It's not something that you'rehaving to run away and escape
your life for.
It's about nurturing yourselfwhile you are going about your
day, while you are caring foryour kids, while you are caring
(10:08):
for the work that you do everyday.
How are you also taking time tonurture yourself and to make
sure that you are doing yourbest?
So an example of this would bethat age old.
Idea of mama staying up lateafter the kids go to bed and
everything else is done so thatshe can get a little bit of
(10:31):
quiet time, right?
She's like, okay, I have toomany things on my list right
now.
I'm just gonna like, bam, bam,bam, bam, bam, all day long.
Keep it going, keep it going,keep it going, and I'm gonna
rest after the kids go to bed.
After the dishes are done, afterthe living room's cleaned up,
after all of these things, thenI'll have time for myself at the
end of the night.
And then she's probably gonnastay up late scrolling on her
(10:52):
phone or doing something elsethat's gonna keep her up even
later.
And then she's probably gonna bewoken up early and she's gonna
be even more exhausted the nextday because she's pushed herself
throughout the whole day.
She's tired, she's staying uplate, she's waking up early.
None of those things are gonnahelp you to have more energy.
(11:13):
So instead of thinking, I'mgonna rest later.
Try and shift that mindset a bitto, I'm gonna grab five quiet
minutes now, because whatever itis that's waiting for you, the
laundry, the dishes, whatever itis, those things are going
anywhere.
They're still gonna be there,ready and waiting for you in
(11:34):
five more minutes.
But when you take those quickmoments for yourself throughout
the day.
You're filling up that tankbefore you fully crash, before
you fully empty that tank.
It's kind of like if you'redriving in your car and you see
a gas station, right?
(11:54):
And you're like, oh no, it'sfine.
I've got like another 50kilometers to go.
I can keep going.
So you drive some more.
And then you hit another gasstation and you're like, Hmm,
should I fill up here?
No, I've got another 25kilometers to go.
I'm gonna keep going.
And then eventually you're atlike five kilometers left and
you're like, I really need a gasstation right now.
(12:17):
Otherwise my car is gonna breakdown on the side of the road.
But if you had stopped at thatvery first gas station.
Gave yourself just a little topup, like you didn't have to do a
full fill up, but just put inthat extra 20 bucks, whatever it
is, right?
Then you would have enough tohave kept going past that last
gas station.
(12:37):
So how can you this week chooseto nurture yourself and get that
little tiny fill up, that littletiny boost of gas throughout
your day so that you're notrunning on empty at the end of
the day?
Another way to make sure thatyou are going to succeed in
(12:57):
making these changes and makingsure that you aren't going to
keep running on empty is toreally be mindful of your why.
Why are you listening to thisright now?
Why are you wanting to make achange?
For me, it was.
(13:18):
That feeling of being constantlyoverwhelmed, like there was just
so much on my plate.
Even when I asked for help, Istill felt like I was bogged
down.
I was snapping at my kids, likeI just wasn't the parent that I
wanted to be.
And that wasn't to say that Iwas a bad mom or a bad employee
(13:38):
or a bad business owner or anyof those things.
It was just my body asking formore care.
What is your why?
For me, it's my family, and somy family doesn't need me to run
on empty.
And your family doesn't need yourunning on empty either.
They need you whole, and if youare in the thick of it right
(13:59):
now, if making that shift feelsimpossible, I've got you book a
quick energy strategy call withme and I can help you figure out
where to start without addingmore to your plate.
But let's get right into how tostart listening to your body.
To listen to your body, you needto get out of your brain for a
minute.
Your brain?
(14:19):
Very good at running at ahundred miles a second.
Your body?
Not so much.
So pause for a second and thinkabout how your body feels right
now.
Okay.
Do you have tight shoulders?
Do you have some big bags andtired eyes?
I just want you to notice it.
Don't think that you have to fixanything right now.
Just notice what's going on.
(14:41):
Notice where you're clenching.
Is it your jaw?
Is it your hands?
Is it between your eyebrows?
Just try to let that soften up abit.
And this is a quick thing thatyou can do any day at all times
of the day in 30 seconds orless.
As you're sitting down typingthat email, just let your
shoulders drop down a little bitas you are.
(15:04):
Maneuvering through trafficunclench your jaw.
Just notice how you are feelingand how your body is responding
to your environment in themoment that you're in.
This is a quick mindfulnesspractice that can really make a
huge difference in your energylevels every day.
Another way to listen to yourbody a little bit better is to
(15:26):
allow yourself the honor ofhaving small rests.
So it could be as simple assitting down for three minutes
while you have your hot drink,whether that's your coffee or
your tea, whatever it is, andjust not letting yourself go to
that list of to-dos that counts.
(15:46):
That is a small rest.
It's very little time out ofyour day, and it's giving
yourself that little boost, thatlittle extra oomph to keep
going.
And especially if you are a momwho is very good at seeing the
next thing that needs to be doneand wanting to achieve the next
task, check off the next thingon your to-do list.
(16:08):
I want you to put it into yourcalendar, put it into however
you plan out your day, theselittle breaks.
It could be one 10 minute slot,it could be.
Five, two minute slots.
It could be two five minuteslots.
However much time you've got inyour day, plan it in.
Say for these 10 minutes, forthese however many minutes at a
(16:31):
time, I am going to take a breakand these little bits of time
can shift your entire day.
You are going to have so muchmore energy by the end of the
day by allowing yourself thosemini moments of rest and break
so that you're not constantly onthe go, running, pushing through
(16:53):
all of the time.
And again, you deserve thattime.
You matter and your timematters.
So utilize it to the best ofyour ability.
And again, we're not overhaulingyour whole life.
We're not saying you've gottatake a whole hour every day, or
(17:13):
you've gotta spend theseexorbitant amounts of time or
money to get rest.
That's not realistic, that's notgonna happen for most moms.
But having little sprinkles ofmoments of care in your day is
still gonna make a big, bigimpact.
Think about if you go to a pondor a body of water that is still
(17:36):
preferably, and you find areally big rock, and you take
that rock, you heft it over yourhead and you toss it in when it
goes in, it's gonna make a hugesplash.
It's gonna ripple out, and thenit's gonna be done.
And until you have the strengthand energy to pick up another
big rock.
That's all you're gonna get fromthat one big rock.
(17:57):
That's the equivalent of yougoing on that spa day or doing
that big thing.
It's great for the moment.
It's a big thing.
It feels really good, reallyheavy, really impactful.
But it's gonna ripple out formaybe a couple days and then
you're gonna be tired again.
You're gonna be back in the samesituation you were in before.
(18:19):
Now, if you were to take ahandful of pebbles though.
And toss in a couple here, acouple there, and like just keep
tossing a couple.
Every now and then you're gonnasee a bunch of ripples
happening, and it's gonna bespread out.
It's gonna be more sporadic andit's gonna keep the water moving
for a longer amount of time.
(18:40):
So this is the exact same thingthat we're trying to do with our
energy levels.
We don't want to just throw thatbig rock once.
And be stuck in the samesituation.
We want to have little sprinklesof care in our day, little
sprinkles of moments just for uswhere we can have this time to
(19:00):
really care for ourselves.
I actually had a mom reach outto me on Instagram not too long
ago who said that she has gottenso much more time.
For herself in the day andenergy for herself every day by
trying my trick of transitions.
So for 15 minutes after dinner,she would just sit outside and
(19:24):
she said that it was the firsttime in weeks that she felt like
herself and like how incredibleis it that she was able to do
that?
To take those small bits of timein that transitionary period.
You know, the kids were off toplay, hubby was cleaning up from
dinner and she was able to justsit outside for a little bit.
(19:46):
And if you are at all curiousabout transition times and how
to make the most out of that, Iwill put a link in the show
notes to my blog post that I didon the aligned as a mother blog
that has a bunch of differentideas of how to incorporate
moments of care into transitiontimes.
Because I promise you, you'vegot a lot of those in your day.
(20:07):
Now, unfortunately, as much aswe would love to be back in our
school days, maybe not back atschool, but back when we were
kids and we didn't have so manyresponsibilities.
If you think back to schooldays, you would probably have
some sort of hall pass orbathroom pass or something like
that that allowed you to go andtake your break, right?
(20:29):
You could go to the bathroom,you could take your time as
you're walking through thehallway, feel really cool and
that was your way and permissionslip to kind of have that little
bit of rest mentally betweenrecesses or between your break
times that were alreadyscheduled into the day.
Now that you're a grownup andnow that you're a mom, no one is
(20:52):
going to be handing you thatpermission slip to rest unless
you've got an amazing mom ormother-in-law who don't work and
have all the time and energy inthe world to help you.
No one's gonna be handing youthat permission slip to rest.
So you've gotta go ahead andwrite your own permission slip.
You've gotta claim it yourselfand say, I am worthy of care.
(21:14):
Not because I earned it, butbecause I exist.
So say it with me.
I am worthy of care.
Not because I earned it, butbecause I exist, period.
You are worthy of care myfriend.
Because you exist.
(21:36):
So my challenge for you thisweek is to think back to what
area you were feeling mostexhausted in which part was
feeling most challenging, andthink about just one tiny shift
that you can make today, notnext week, today.
cause you don't have to keeppushing through.
(21:57):
Your body's talking to you, andhopefully it's still just
talking and not screaming atyou, but your job is to listen
to it.
So pause for just five minutestoday.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Just check in with yourself andsee how you actually feel.
And in case you didn't get themessage yet, you are not a bad
(22:18):
mom for needing rest.
You are human.
And humans deserve care nomatter how old they are or how
many responsibilities they haveon their plate.
And if you are ready to stoprunning on empty and you have
been listening and you'rethinking, yeah, you know, I
really need to make a change,but I have no idea what tiny
(22:41):
tweak I'm gonna try, I have noidea what the next step looks
like for me.
Let's figure it out together.
You can book a free energystrategy call with no pressure,
just support, and the link isdown in the show notes and until
then, I will catch you in thenext one.
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