July 7, 2025 • 23 mins
Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit… but let’s be honest, it doesn’t come naturally to most of us. Would the people closest to you describe you as a patient person? Probably not. And the reasons why might go deeper than you think.
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we’re talking about the spiritual roots of impatience—what’s really behind it—and how the gospel gives us a new way to respond. We’ll explore how being impatient often stems from trying to control life, fix ourselves, and rush God’s timing.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- The roots of selfishness and false sovereignty that fuel our impatience.
- Why impatience with ourselves is often tied to deeper feelings of disappointment.
- How the gospel brings freedom and hope to our desire for control and perfection.
- A 15-minute reflection exercise to help uncover and replace false beliefs with truth.
Get started here... From this episode: “But, even though we think highly of ourselves, we are also, often, secretly very disappointed with ourselves. We think we need to prove ourselves, earn everything that we want and earn everyone’s approval, including God’s. I need to get busy fixing myself and creating my perfect life now... and that makes me an impatient person.”
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of this page or right below. Also, please leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on iTunes. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them. Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Coaching and Mentorship in Missional Living by Caesar and his wife Tina Resources for missional living and group training - Missio PublishingMark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caesar Kalinowski (00:01):
I mean, I think that God can work on our patience 'cause it's his fruit of the spirit.
It's his spirit in us.
Yep.
And we can, we can manifest and be more patient and gift patience with others and with ourselves.
But I don't think really, if we don't believe God is good.
I don't, we don't think he's great.
Right.
We don't trust him.
(00:21):
Then I, then I think that we have to be God.
Heath Hollensbe (00:23):
Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (00:24):
And then I'm a bad God.
I suck at being terrible God.
So then back to, I'm gonna be impatient with myself.
And that always leaks out on everybody else.
Heath Hollensbe (00:31):
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (00:31):
So it kind of does kind of flow up the hill if you're not impatient with others.
It's a good chance.
It's 'cause you, you, you're not impatient with yourself.
Hmm.
And if you're not patient with yourself, it's 'cause you're trying to be your own God and you don't believe God is good and he's great and and gracious in your life.
So kind of, you talk about a three-legged stool there or like a tripod.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of all three.
But clearly the strongest one is do you believe the gospel?
(00:53):
Do you believe what's true about God?
And what he says is true of you.
Heath Hollensbe (01:06):
Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
And now here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.
Hey, Heath.
(01:27):
Okay.
Let's jump straight into a topic that you actually suggested a while back, and we're actually just getting around to it, but I'm excited to see where this conversation goes because one of thethings that you suggested was the importance of growing in spiritual patience, not just in being patient with others, but in how it relates to ourselves and actually how it relates to God.
Do you wanna explain a little bit more of what you were thinking when you
Caesar Kalinowski (01:48):
texted me this?
Yeah, as we were talking about like doing an episode in patience and why.
Yeah.
Why I wanted to call it like spiritual patience kind of term, you know, coin that term there is, because I think our three greatest relational connections.
Are with God and with others and actually to ourself.
Okay.
Okay.
And, and I ultimately, I want to talk about 'em in reverse order.
(02:10):
Okay.
But let, so to kind of get to why it's spiritual patience and all, let me start by defining what impatience is.
Oh, good.
Okay.
I, I mean, I think.
Maybe it's not necessary, but I'm gonna do it according to dictionary.com.
Impatience means a lack of patience.
Duh.
There it is.
Hey, thanks for tuning in.
See you next week on the Life.
See you next week.
No it, it actually says that though, impatience means a lack of patience and restlessness, and here's where it starts to get good and intolerance of anything that thwarts delays or hinders.
(02:41):
Ooh, that's, that's starting to convict.
Yeah.
And intolerance of forts delays or hinders who, uh, me, you know?
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
Now we start thinking about sovereignty and whose world it is.
I. And like, do you, like, do you wanna just develop patience?
Like what does that mean?
Like stop it.
Try harder, slow down.
Don't speak for X amount of time before you blow up on somebody.
(03:02):
It's like, but spiritual patience would say, wait a minute, is there a Gospel connection to all this?
Heath Hollensbe (03:07):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (03:07):
Like, is there some deeper truth?
The thing behind the thing that we can get there?
Yeah.
So back to our definition of impatient.
An impatient person.
Is someone who has a hard time waiting for others.
Hmm.
So that's still all about me.
Yep.
Or does so with real great reluctance.
You know, you just, you, you know, we've been that way.
We've all been in, we're all guilty, but we also see it in others and it never is like, I wanna be more like that.
(03:28):
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
An impatient person feels anxious or upset when things don not go according to their hope for plan.
And an inpatient person usually feels a great sense of urgency to sort of get things over with and to move on to the next thing, the next task, the next place or whatever they're doing.
Yeah.
So he or she usually has a low regard or interest in what's going on now in this moment.
(03:51):
'cause they're already thinking about what they have to do next or what they want you to do next, or what you should get to next.
So if you, if you notice there, what's the common thing there is?
It's a pretty big me focus.
Connected to
Heath Hollensbe (04:03):
impatience.
Wow.
Man, you, even as you're talking, I'm thinking about how many times I've.
Addressed, or I've, I've cloaked this heart issue with something else.
Like, oh, I'm just a planner.
Like, well, maybe something deeper is going on.
Well, we
Caesar Kalinowski (04:16):
agreed to.
It's like, yeah, it's a me focus, man.
Heath Hollensbe (04:19):
Yeah.
If I'm not, if no one's in control, then I gotta step up.
Right?
And it's like, eh, maybe we're hitting on some patience issues.
It doesn't seem like we're doing a really good job yielding the fruits of the spirit and Galatians five when we're so.
Me focused, right?
Not so much.
But it's not just the fruit of patience here either.
It, it seems like,
Caesar Kalinowski (04:34):
yeah.
Let's, let's take a look at that.
Good call.
Galatians five.
Uh, you're referring to verse 22.
It says, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience.
Sometimes the word is forbearance is used, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Now, a couple things here.
(04:54):
None of that's me focused.
Okay.
Yep.
It's all outward and it's, it doesn't say fruits.
It's like, it's a collective.
The fruit of the spirit.
It's like, this is what the spirit's like.
Hmm.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Um, let's just look at, let's just look at some of those.
Okay.
Like.
If, if you love, uh, someone, sure, I truly love someone.
(05:17):
Are you impatient with 'em?
Are you tapping your toe?
Are you trying to force 'em into your mold, agenda, whatever?
No.
Um, if you are at peace, like if you really believe God is great, so I don't have to be in control, then you can have peace and you can, you can.
Be gentle with other people.
You, you see what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So just looking at all of it, even though patience or forbearance, depending on your translation is in that list, that whole thing is all about the heart and about a outward focus.
(05:46):
Yeah.
An outward for focus.
Now it's easy to say, well, I, I need to work harder at that.
But, but if you have the Holy Spirit, if you're in Christ, then you are united.
With the Trinity, right?
Yep.
So it's like is I am in you and you are me now you are one.
We are one and, and he's one with the father and the spirit.
We're, we're united with this.
This is now true of us.
Are we yielding to it?
(06:07):
Do we believe it's true of us, or, this is back to why I call it spiritual patience.
Spa patience is do we actually think we are God and everything should fall in line with us Most of the time.
I think that's what's actually going on.
That might be the big.
Thing behind the thing.
Right?
Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe (06:22):
I've never seen it as the fruit of the spirit as a, a singular fruit, like you just unpack.
That's that's really
Caesar Kalinowski (06:27):
helpful.
Yeah.
And, and some, some might take me to task on that, but like I, it helps me to see it.
I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna work really hard at this, but listen, if I'm loving, then I'm gonna be full of joy and I'm gonna have, if I truly love someone and I realize I'mnot God, I suck at being God, but there is God and he's great and he's good, and I'll then, then I'll have joy and I'll have patience for them, and I'll be faithful to let.
(06:48):
God do what he's doing in their life for their sake.
And so it, it does kinda all come together in this beautiful picture of what God is like and it says, it's now true of us.
That's, that's the spirit's
Heath Hollensbe (06:58):
fruit.
Let's dive in a little bit deeper here too.
Like as we, as we begin to dig, how would you connect what you're saying right now to, uh, this concept of having spiritual patience with others?
Not just not being more patient in general.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (07:11):
Not right.
It's not just trying to, hey, try to be a little more patient, but like, let's look at it from a, with others standpoint.
Yeah.
I think there's a, there's a gospel focus here and when we say discipleship is having, you know, helping people move from unbelief to belief.
Yep.
And glorifying God.
Okay, so these are the fruits of him, the spirit.
(07:31):
So what are people seeing and believing about what God is like when we're anxious or pushy or self-focused.
That's good, man.
Okay.
Yeah, so that's just first off like our, our role in life.
We get to bear the image of God and help people move from unbelief of what's true of him and true of them.
To belief.
(07:51):
So what are they seeing when we're acting all crazy like that and we're we're completely me focused.
Yeah.
They're gonna think that's what God's like, or that's what
Heath Hollensbe (07:58):
Christians are like, or you know, or you probably just reaffirm like some of the past thoughts I already had
Caesar Kalinowski (08:02):
about God.
Yeah.
Negative thoughts.
Yeah.
Well, as we hear it all the time, like I would never be a Christian 'cause all Hi Christians are hypocrites.
Yeah.
Kind of true.
Yeah.
Kind of true 'cause we're looking at these fruits of the spirit.
And, and you can read further on Galatians five, it says, what, what the fruit of the flesh looks like.
So when you, when you think you're God Yep.
And you wanna live a court, everybody living through now one of the four Gs.
We've talked on the four Gs before.
(08:23):
Yep.
Maybe you can give us a little reminder of what episode number that is.
Heath Hollensbe (08:26):
Yeah, we actually did talk about that back on episode number 1 31.
Uh, and the title of that was What causes sin and how to stop it when we go through all
Caesar Kalinowski (08:33):
The Four Gs.
But the first one is God is, or it's not the first one.
There's really no order to 'em, but it's the third one.
God is good.
So I don't have to look elsewhere for my satisfaction.
Heath Hollensbe (08:41):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (08:41):
So when I'm not being patient with people, I'm, I'm trying to manage my world and I'm not believing God's good.
I'm, I'd be gooder right now.
I would get this done and this would happen and this would happen quicker, and I wouldn't be waiting for the raise at work, or my wife would be quicker to do this, or my kids would just not, you know?
Yeah.
So you're a better God.
I'm a better God, yeah.
(09:02):
Really.
I mean, that's, that's part of what came to mind when I'm thinking, well, I'm not being patient with people.
I'm not believing God's good, actually, I'm gooder.
Mm-hmm.
And I could find better satisfaction if I ruled the world and maybe, maybe the, the first of the four G's God is great.
You know, we say God is great, so I don't have to be in control.
I'm not believing he's great, so I'm gonna control everything.
Yeah.
Because the world will run a little better if I ran it, if I did it.
(09:25):
Yeah.
And if everybody just got in line with what I wanted, and I've said it before on the show, I find in my own life, Keith, I only get upset.
Or kind of ticked or whatever, when things aren't going exactly the way I want.
Yeah.
But when they're going exactly the way I want, I'm in a pretty good mood.
I'm pretty, pretty nice guy.
Heath Hollensbe (09:40):
Oh my goodness.
Well, let's talk a little bit about the, uh, the importance of being patient with ourselves now.
Right.
I know at times I'm probably the least patient and hardest on myself.
You've seen that in me as well, and others have called that out on me, so, so speak a little bit to my heart here, maybe selfishly.
Caesar Kalinowski (09:56):
Yeah.
Well.
It's true and it's not just you Heath, but I think, you know, depending on who we are and some of our upbringing and some of our unbelief that's still there.
Yep.
We can be absolutely hardest on ourself.
Now, oddly enough, that, that, that comes out sometimes in not being patient with others.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well really 'cause we're upset with ourselves.
So seemingly contrary to the me focus of being impatient with others, not being patient with myself is actually the same problem.
(10:20):
Just redirected at me.
Heath Hollensbe (10:22):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (10:23):
Again, it's all about me.
Like, why aren't I changing?
Why can't I do this?
Why aren't I taller, thinner, smarter, and more handsome, more patient, you know, whatever.
Yeah, right.
It's, it's just the me focus, but redirected back at me.
So it's still all about me.
And, and if we think very highly of ourselves, and by the way we all do.
Heath Hollensbe (10:42):
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski (10:42):
Um.
We are always striving for more for what's next.
Striving to get everything and everyone to go along with my self sovereignty and self-improvement plans for my life.
And then I don't wanna pointing out any of that, right?
Because I'm already beating myself in up.
And if they do, I'll go like, well, who are you to judge?
You know?
Yeah, exactly.
But even though we think highly of ourselves.
(11:04):
We are also often secretly very disappointed with ourselves.
Yeah.
We think we need to prove ourselves, earn everything that we want, and earn everything.
Everyone else's approval, including God's.
Yeah.
And I need to get busy fixing myself and creating my perfect life now, and we feel that we have to get somewhere next and get to or achieve the next thing in life.
(11:26):
And then, okay, then when that happens, when I finally get there, make that much money, or this happens, or I lose the next 10 pounds, or, you know, whatever.
We'll be happy.
I'll be happy.
And then I'll consider myself good enough.
Or lovable enough or valuable or et cetera, right?
Yeah.
So, so I'm always in a hurry to get to the next whatever the next me.
Heath Hollensbe (11:46):
Yeah.
And what I'm finding out in life is that once you get to that thing, there's, it's just a downward spiral.
'cause there's always the next thing, right?
You lose the 10 pounds.
Like, well now if I can only do this, it's just a never, unless you find your comfort in what?
Right.
God says about you, you'll never find it.
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (11:59):
Unhappiness and impatience with myself is then projected as impatience with others and with God as well.
Yeah, absolutely.
'cause, 'cause it can't be me really.
Yeah.
But it is.
And so you see how this, that's a toxic cycle.
Oh man, it's, it sure is.
Heath Hollensbe (12:14):
It sure is, man.
Yeah.
I, I do notice that a lot in my life.
And even as you're talking, I'm thinking, you know, some of the things that my wife will call me out on, or even my kids are now starting to see is, um.
My lack of patience towards them is a frustration, an internal frustration with myself or the approval thing.
Right.
We've talked about this before.
Yeah.
Like I gotta, I gotta figure out how to get God's approval constantly.
(12:38):
And so,
Caesar Kalinowski (12:39):
or you're really trying to prove yourself to heath.
Yeah.
Right.
Much of us not believing that God is gracious.
It's another one of the four Gs.
So I'm Is, is, is that we, we try to prove ourselves to my, to ourselves, to others, and to God.
But you know, the good news of the gospel reminds us that God is gracious.
We already have his full love.
(13:00):
I was gonna say to you, brother, yeah, you have his full love.
You don't need to do another thing.
Earn another dollar, drop another pound.
Sure.
Shine the shoes better.
You know nothing to earn his full love and generosity and care and protection, acceptance.
You have it.
Yeah.
God is patient and kind with us and we can trust him in our life and with everything that he's doing to conform us into the image of his son in his own time.
Heath Hollensbe (13:24):
Yeah.
What is that man?
When I think as you're talking, I was thinking about something we talked about.
Do you believe
Caesar Kalinowski (13:27):
that?
Or is God just tapping his foot waiting for, you know, Caesar to get his be together?
You know, no,
Heath Hollensbe (13:31):
I, I desire to believe that and, and it is a retraining of my mind and my heart.
'cause I, it's like Adam and Eve, we've talked about this cigars in theology.
It was like.
I don't even believe that God was withholding, like, you're not good.
You're right.
You're holding something from me.
It's knowledge, it's this or that.
And I feel the same way.
I, I
Caesar Kalinowski (13:46):
would be gooder, I could manage the knowledge good and evil better.
Yeah, absolutely.
So like, here we go.
First bite.
Heath Hollensbe (13:52):
Yeah.
I,
Caesar Kalinowski (13:53):
I find myself, it'll kill you.
Heath Hollensbe (13:54):
Oh, did, does man surely die?
You know?
Oh.
So how does this, how does this translate into us having patience with God?
Like, I know this is connected.
Uh, I know that our frustration with ourself often expound to other people.
Uh, why don't we have patience with God?
What, how do we remedy that?
Uh,
Caesar Kalinowski (14:13):
well, like I said, and, and I'm not by nature or my past history, a very patient person, I, I just have to say that.
'cause like my family's listen.
Yeah, me neither.
Um, and, and where this is grossest in my life is with my impatience with God.
And I'll tell you what it looks like is no patience in prayer.
Here's my to-do list, and I'd like all of that now.
Heath Hollensbe (14:33):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (14:33):
Okay.
Think about Abram and Sarah, right?
Yeah.
You know, Abram and Sarah, they, God promises a baby.
In fact a whole nation like crazy offspring.
And they were waiting and they're waiting and waiting and it's like, and God's watching their faithfulness and watching their trustand they're like, I'll tell you what we'll do, Abram, uh, you'll just sleep with my slave girl and we'll have a baby that way.
(14:53):
Yep.
And you know the birth that, the birth of Islam?
Yeah, it was, you know, so, um, here's, here's another gross weight comes out.
No patience in what God is doing in the lives of others that I'm discipling or parenting or training.
And this is a double whammy.
Uh, on God and his people.
Really?
That one?
Yeah.
But I'm not like, uh, you know, God, I'm doing all the right stuff here.
(15:13):
Why are these people just not getting it?
Heath Hollensbe (15:15):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (15:16):
Or like, you know how many times I've sat down and explained that so gently, so patiently to my son or my daughter, and they're still the same way.
Or my wife.
And, and really I'm, I'm, what I'm exhibiting is I'm not patient with God and his sovereignty over their lives.
Like we think I can change them.
I can't change myself.
Yeah.
I'm not patient with me.
What?
You know, oh man, this is so convicting right now.
Sorry.
(15:37):
Here's another one.
I'm not patient with God's revelation of himself and what he's really doing in my life.
Hmm.
Like what exactly are the plans you have for me?
Lord, I'm not patient with that.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, so what I'm, what I'm content to do is.
Sort of cloudy, sort of murky, have super high expectations and goals, and then kinda be ticked at God's not somehow stepping up and they're happening.
Heath Hollensbe (16:01):
Well, I think we see this a lot too, in, in the way the church evangelizes, right?
It's like, no, we have a goal.
We gotta get people saved.
We gotta do this rather than like actually walking and getting to know people.
We have agendas.
Caesar Kalinowski (16:11):
Who is God, right?
Heath Hollensbe (16:13):
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (16:13):
And I, and I think to some patience with God stems ultimately from believing a lie that God's not that good.
He, he's pretty good.
But like you were saying, you know back to Adam and Eve.
Right.
But we kind of know better.
Yeah.
I do a lot of this stuff quicker, sooner, better, God.
Yep.
I mean, you're good, but I'd be gooder.
Yeah.
But, but the truth is that God only does what is good and right and perfect.
(16:36):
And being patient with God starts with believing that, hmm God, I don't understand your timing, but you only do what's good.
So now my expectation flips to.
I can wait to see what you're concocting and what you're doing in my heart, you know, and I think about people who they're not patient with God for a spouse.
You know, and they're like, do you believe that God loves you and he's good and he's preparing you and your heart and whoever thatspouse is, if he hasn't for you, so that when you come together in this marriage that's primarily for his glory and not yours, you will.
(17:09):
Hmm.
Like, can we be patient with God?
And, and, and that's the thing behind the thing.
Do we really believe that God is good And he is.
I just wanna Yeah.
Affirm that and remind everyone listening and you and me.
He is good and I can trust him so I don't have to look elsewhere.
For my satisfaction and try to like manufacture it and force it and all that and I can be patient with God.
(17:30):
That's great, dude.
Heath Hollensbe (17:32):
How, how much of this patience, like with God, with ourselves and with others, how much of it is that, like the tripod analogy?
Do we have to master the art of being patient with God and ourselves before we're able to be patient with one another or vice versa?
How does all that work?
Well, I
Caesar Kalinowski (17:45):
kind of went in reverse for that reason.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, I think that God can work on our patience.
Yeah.
'cause it's his fruit of the spirit.
It's his spirit in us.
Yep.
And we can, we can manifest and be more patient and gift patience with others and with ourselves.
But I don't think really, if we don't believe God is good, I don't, we don't think he's great.
(18:06):
Right.
We don't trust him.
Then I then I think that we have to be God.
Heath Hollensbe (18:10):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (18:11):
And then I'm a bad God.
I suck at being God.
So then back to, I'm gonna be impatient with myself.
And that always leaks out on everybody else.
Heath Hollensbe (18:17):
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (18:18):
So it kind of does kind of flow up the hill.
If you're not impatient with others, it's a good chance.
It's 'cause you, you're not impatient with yourself.
Hmm.
And if you're not patient with yourself, it's 'cause you're trying to be your own God and you don't believe God is good and he's great and gracious in your life.
So kind of, you talk about a three-legged stool there or like a tripod.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of all three.
But clearly the strongest one is, do you believe the gospel?
(18:39):
Do you believe what's true about God?
And what he says is true of you.
That's
Heath Hollensbe (18:43):
the root of it.
And before we, we started recording here, you actually told me, uh, about this exercise that you had, like, it was a 15 minute exercise that helps uncover your impatience.
Yeah.
Would you mind sharing that?
Yeah.
I won't take 15 minutes to
Caesar Kalinowski (18:52):
explain it, but it might take.
Heath Hollensbe (18:54):
15.
Yeah, let's do it on, let's do
Caesar Kalinowski (18:55):
it.
Yeah.
Lemme just go through it real quick and, and we will add this to the upcoming download of the big three for people who download the big three.
Yep.
Every week.
But, um, I'm gonna, I'll add it to it, so, great.
You know, but if you want to grab a piece of paper, uh, or fire up your laptop or your notes app or whatever, you can write these down.
There's, there's five steps to this.
Okay.
First one, think about recent times when you acted with impatience with others, with yourself or with God.
(19:18):
Okay, and then write those down as soon as they come to mind.
Like, don't overanalyze it yet.
Just write.
So think about once, what have I been impatient with, with others, with myself, with God?
Just write down, spend like, you know, give yourself like a two, three minute, you know, timeline, whatever.
Heath Hollensbe (19:33):
Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski (19:33):
Second.
Then ask yourself for each of those, why am I so impatient?
What is producing this in my heart?
Hmm.
Maybe look at those four Gs again.
Go, go look up that episode and learn those.
Write down everything comes to mind.
Like, what am I being impatient about?
Why?
What's producing in my heart?
What am I not believing?
Okay.
Okay.
Then go a little further and deeper into your answers by asking a second time what, whatever you just wrote go.
(19:56):
Why?
What am I not believing to be true about God in this and, and what am I believing that may not be true about this person or myself?
Like, so you're looking for belief things here?
Yeah.
So first just go, why am I so impatient?
You know what's producing this?
And then question your answers.
Yep.
With what am I not believing it might be true about this person or myself or God.
Heath Hollensbe (20:19):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (20:19):
Fourth step is keep repeating step three until you get to the thing behind the thing.
The real issue.
Heath Hollensbe (20:25):
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (20:25):
You gotta be honest with yourself.
So if this is serious, you will.
Yep.
Um, now.
It's, uh, it's time to repent, which means to change your mind about what is true and accept that God already knew all this.
Okay?
Yep.
He's fully forgiven you already, and you now ask the spirit to remind you of these truths.
Next time you're in the same situation, or you face those same issues.
Heath Hollensbe (20:47):
You know what's been good for me too is like, is to, like with my spouse, Kathleen, she'll, oftentimes she'll affirm the ways that she sees growth too, because that's a good like barometer of like, Hey, I am growing.
This isn't just me figuring this out on myself, but when you see that in somebody else and go, Hey, I just wanna let you know, man.
Beautiful.
Over the last year or so, I've just really noticed the way you respond to people's.
You're, you're, you're growing in grace and there's some patience that, and if you could connect the Gospel to it, like you really
Caesar Kalinowski (21:10):
have moved from this belief to this now and that, and that.
Shift is really, it's evident.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Love that.
Beautiful.
Heath Hollensbe (21:17):
Okay, so we're gonna give that, um, away as part of like an addition to the big three for this week.
Yeah.
And the big three.
If you've been busy and you can't write down the top three takeaways we want you to leave with, we'll give you the free download by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three and you'll get a beautiful printout.
Caesar, what are the big three for this week?
Caesar Kalinowski (21:35):
Big three.
First, the root of impatience stems from a love of self and being me focused.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Don't miss this.
Don't miss these three things regularly.
Reading through the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians five will help you to remind you of what's already true of you in Christ.
Mm-hmm.
Because you have the spirit dwelling in you.
His fruit is your fruit.
Remember, God is good.
(21:56):
So you don't have to look elsewhere for your satisfaction.
Rehearse those.
Rehearse those, those fruits.
Spirit in Galatians five.
Heath Hollensbe (22:02):
Amen.
Caesar Kalinowski (22:03):
Second, God knows you completely.
He knows all your fears, your hopes, your experiences, and he's always patient with you.
He knows where you strive and where you stress out, and he loves you just the same.
He's at work all the time and he's able to perfectly handle everything and everyone in your life without your help.
Really?
Yeah, he can do it all.
He really can.
(22:24):
But, but, and this is a huge one, God desires relationship with you above you achieving perfect performance or perfect patience.
Mm-hmm.
So the pressure's off.
Wow.
I mean, just back that up and hear that one again.
That's so good.
Okay.
And then the third one, this is where we get real practical.
Find 15 minutes today to go through that exercise that we just outlined to help uncover your impatience and the false beliefs connected to each and I.
(22:48):
And I just wanna say too, it's also a good idea to share your results with another loved one.
And you gotta be a little vulnerable here, uh, like a spouse or close friend.
Sibling that you can trust.
I expect yours in writing.
Yeah.
Triplicate sealed.
And then review what you learn, you know, making it a part of your regular devotional time.
I'd say for like, try it for 30 days or something like that.
As you move from unbelief to belief in these matters, there's, there's, there's something real.
(23:11):
Yep.
You know about looking at that, rehearsing that, and then speaking what's really in fact true.
Yep.
And I think God will honor that.
Okay,
Heath Hollensbe (23:20):
so we're, again, we're gonna give you the big three by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three, and we're also gonna give you that exercise of how to uncover your impatience.
That'll be included as well.
Lots of freebies for you.
Thanks for joining us today.
For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday Disciple dot com and remember.
(23:40):
You really can live with a spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.
I mean, I think that God can work on our patience 'cause it's his fruit of the spirit.
It's his spirit in us.
Yep.
And we can, we can manifest and be more patient and gift patience with others and with ourselves.
But I don't think really, if we don't believe God is good.
I don't, we don't think he's great.
Right.
We don't trust him.
(00:21):
Then I, then I think that we have to be God.
Heath Hollensbe (00:23):
Mm-hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (00:24):
And then I'm a bad God.
I suck at being terrible God.
So then back to, I'm gonna be impatient with myself.
And that always leaks out on everybody else.
Heath Hollensbe (00:31):
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (00:31):
So it kind of does kind of flow up the hill if you're not impatient with others.
It's a good chance.
It's 'cause you, you, you're not impatient with yourself.
Hmm.
And if you're not patient with yourself, it's 'cause you're trying to be your own God and you don't believe God is good and he's great and and gracious in your life.
So kind of, you talk about a three-legged stool there or like a tripod.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of all three.
But clearly the strongest one is do you believe the gospel?
(00:53):
Do you believe what's true about God?
And what he says is true of you.
Heath Hollensbe (01:06):
Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
And now here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.
Hey, Heath.
(01:27):
Okay.
Let's jump straight into a topic that you actually suggested a while back, and we're actually just getting around to it, but I'm excited to see where this conversation goes because one of thethings that you suggested was the importance of growing in spiritual patience, not just in being patient with others, but in how it relates to ourselves and actually how it relates to God.
Do you wanna explain a little bit more of what you were thinking when you
Caesar Kalinowski (01:48):
texted me this?
Yeah, as we were talking about like doing an episode in patience and why.
Yeah.
Why I wanted to call it like spiritual patience kind of term, you know, coin that term there is, because I think our three greatest relational connections.
Are with God and with others and actually to ourself.
Okay.
Okay.
And, and I ultimately, I want to talk about 'em in reverse order.
(02:10):
Okay.
But let, so to kind of get to why it's spiritual patience and all, let me start by defining what impatience is.
Oh, good.
Okay.
I, I mean, I think.
Maybe it's not necessary, but I'm gonna do it according to dictionary.com.
Impatience means a lack of patience.
Duh.
There it is.
Hey, thanks for tuning in.
See you next week on the Life.
See you next week.
No it, it actually says that though, impatience means a lack of patience and restlessness, and here's where it starts to get good and intolerance of anything that thwarts delays or hinders.
(02:41):
Ooh, that's, that's starting to convict.
Yeah.
And intolerance of forts delays or hinders who, uh, me, you know?
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
Now we start thinking about sovereignty and whose world it is.
I. And like, do you, like, do you wanna just develop patience?
Like what does that mean?
Like stop it.
Try harder, slow down.
Don't speak for X amount of time before you blow up on somebody.
(03:02):
It's like, but spiritual patience would say, wait a minute, is there a Gospel connection to all this?
Heath Hollensbe (03:07):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (03:07):
Like, is there some deeper truth?
The thing behind the thing that we can get there?
Yeah.
So back to our definition of impatient.
An impatient person.
Is someone who has a hard time waiting for others.
Hmm.
So that's still all about me.
Yep.
Or does so with real great reluctance.
You know, you just, you, you know, we've been that way.
We've all been in, we're all guilty, but we also see it in others and it never is like, I wanna be more like that.
(03:28):
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
An impatient person feels anxious or upset when things don not go according to their hope for plan.
And an inpatient person usually feels a great sense of urgency to sort of get things over with and to move on to the next thing, the next task, the next place or whatever they're doing.
Yeah.
So he or she usually has a low regard or interest in what's going on now in this moment.
(03:51):
'cause they're already thinking about what they have to do next or what they want you to do next, or what you should get to next.
So if you, if you notice there, what's the common thing there is?
It's a pretty big me focus.
Connected to
Heath Hollensbe (04:03):
impatience.
Wow.
Man, you, even as you're talking, I'm thinking about how many times I've.
Addressed, or I've, I've cloaked this heart issue with something else.
Like, oh, I'm just a planner.
Like, well, maybe something deeper is going on.
Well, we
Caesar Kalinowski (04:16):
agreed to.
It's like, yeah, it's a me focus, man.
Heath Hollensbe (04:19):
Yeah.
If I'm not, if no one's in control, then I gotta step up.
Right?
And it's like, eh, maybe we're hitting on some patience issues.
It doesn't seem like we're doing a really good job yielding the fruits of the spirit and Galatians five when we're so.
Me focused, right?
Not so much.
But it's not just the fruit of patience here either.
It, it seems like,
Caesar Kalinowski (04:34):
yeah.
Let's, let's take a look at that.
Good call.
Galatians five.
Uh, you're referring to verse 22.
It says, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience.
Sometimes the word is forbearance is used, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Now, a couple things here.
(04:54):
None of that's me focused.
Okay.
Yep.
It's all outward and it's, it doesn't say fruits.
It's like, it's a collective.
The fruit of the spirit.
It's like, this is what the spirit's like.
Hmm.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Um, let's just look at, let's just look at some of those.
Okay.
Like.
If, if you love, uh, someone, sure, I truly love someone.
(05:17):
Are you impatient with 'em?
Are you tapping your toe?
Are you trying to force 'em into your mold, agenda, whatever?
No.
Um, if you are at peace, like if you really believe God is great, so I don't have to be in control, then you can have peace and you can, you can.
Be gentle with other people.
You, you see what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So just looking at all of it, even though patience or forbearance, depending on your translation is in that list, that whole thing is all about the heart and about a outward focus.
(05:46):
Yeah.
An outward for focus.
Now it's easy to say, well, I, I need to work harder at that.
But, but if you have the Holy Spirit, if you're in Christ, then you are united.
With the Trinity, right?
Yep.
So it's like is I am in you and you are me now you are one.
We are one and, and he's one with the father and the spirit.
We're, we're united with this.
This is now true of us.
Are we yielding to it?
(06:07):
Do we believe it's true of us, or, this is back to why I call it spiritual patience.
Spa patience is do we actually think we are God and everything should fall in line with us Most of the time.
I think that's what's actually going on.
That might be the big.
Thing behind the thing.
Right?
Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe (06:22):
I've never seen it as the fruit of the spirit as a, a singular fruit, like you just unpack.
That's that's really
Caesar Kalinowski (06:27):
helpful.
Yeah.
And, and some, some might take me to task on that, but like I, it helps me to see it.
I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna work really hard at this, but listen, if I'm loving, then I'm gonna be full of joy and I'm gonna have, if I truly love someone and I realize I'mnot God, I suck at being God, but there is God and he's great and he's good, and I'll then, then I'll have joy and I'll have patience for them, and I'll be faithful to let.
(06:48):
God do what he's doing in their life for their sake.
And so it, it does kinda all come together in this beautiful picture of what God is like and it says, it's now true of us.
That's, that's the spirit's
Heath Hollensbe (06:58):
fruit.
Let's dive in a little bit deeper here too.
Like as we, as we begin to dig, how would you connect what you're saying right now to, uh, this concept of having spiritual patience with others?
Not just not being more patient in general.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (07:11):
Not right.
It's not just trying to, hey, try to be a little more patient, but like, let's look at it from a, with others standpoint.
Yeah.
I think there's a, there's a gospel focus here and when we say discipleship is having, you know, helping people move from unbelief to belief.
Yep.
And glorifying God.
Okay, so these are the fruits of him, the spirit.
(07:31):
So what are people seeing and believing about what God is like when we're anxious or pushy or self-focused.
That's good, man.
Okay.
Yeah, so that's just first off like our, our role in life.
We get to bear the image of God and help people move from unbelief of what's true of him and true of them.
To belief.
(07:51):
So what are they seeing when we're acting all crazy like that and we're we're completely me focused.
Yeah.
They're gonna think that's what God's like, or that's what
Heath Hollensbe (07:58):
Christians are like, or you know, or you probably just reaffirm like some of the past thoughts I already had
Caesar Kalinowski (08:02):
about God.
Yeah.
Negative thoughts.
Yeah.
Well, as we hear it all the time, like I would never be a Christian 'cause all Hi Christians are hypocrites.
Yeah.
Kind of true.
Yeah.
Kind of true 'cause we're looking at these fruits of the spirit.
And, and you can read further on Galatians five, it says, what, what the fruit of the flesh looks like.
So when you, when you think you're God Yep.
And you wanna live a court, everybody living through now one of the four Gs.
We've talked on the four Gs before.
(08:23):
Yep.
Maybe you can give us a little reminder of what episode number that is.
Heath Hollensbe (08:26):
Yeah, we actually did talk about that back on episode number 1 31.
Uh, and the title of that was What causes sin and how to stop it when we go through all
Caesar Kalinowski (08:33):
The Four Gs.
But the first one is God is, or it's not the first one.
There's really no order to 'em, but it's the third one.
God is good.
So I don't have to look elsewhere for my satisfaction.
Heath Hollensbe (08:41):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (08:41):
So when I'm not being patient with people, I'm, I'm trying to manage my world and I'm not believing God's good.
I'm, I'd be gooder right now.
I would get this done and this would happen and this would happen quicker, and I wouldn't be waiting for the raise at work, or my wife would be quicker to do this, or my kids would just not, you know?
Yeah.
So you're a better God.
I'm a better God, yeah.
(09:02):
Really.
I mean, that's, that's part of what came to mind when I'm thinking, well, I'm not being patient with people.
I'm not believing God's good, actually, I'm gooder.
Mm-hmm.
And I could find better satisfaction if I ruled the world and maybe, maybe the, the first of the four G's God is great.
You know, we say God is great, so I don't have to be in control.
I'm not believing he's great, so I'm gonna control everything.
Yeah.
Because the world will run a little better if I ran it, if I did it.
(09:25):
Yeah.
And if everybody just got in line with what I wanted, and I've said it before on the show, I find in my own life, Keith, I only get upset.
Or kind of ticked or whatever, when things aren't going exactly the way I want.
Yeah.
But when they're going exactly the way I want, I'm in a pretty good mood.
I'm pretty, pretty nice guy.
Heath Hollensbe (09:40):
Oh my goodness.
Well, let's talk a little bit about the, uh, the importance of being patient with ourselves now.
Right.
I know at times I'm probably the least patient and hardest on myself.
You've seen that in me as well, and others have called that out on me, so, so speak a little bit to my heart here, maybe selfishly.
Caesar Kalinowski (09:56):
Yeah.
Well.
It's true and it's not just you Heath, but I think, you know, depending on who we are and some of our upbringing and some of our unbelief that's still there.
Yep.
We can be absolutely hardest on ourself.
Now, oddly enough, that, that, that comes out sometimes in not being patient with others.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well really 'cause we're upset with ourselves.
So seemingly contrary to the me focus of being impatient with others, not being patient with myself is actually the same problem.
(10:20):
Just redirected at me.
Heath Hollensbe (10:22):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (10:23):
Again, it's all about me.
Like, why aren't I changing?
Why can't I do this?
Why aren't I taller, thinner, smarter, and more handsome, more patient, you know, whatever.
Yeah, right.
It's, it's just the me focus, but redirected back at me.
So it's still all about me.
And, and if we think very highly of ourselves, and by the way we all do.
Heath Hollensbe (10:42):
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski (10:42):
Um.
We are always striving for more for what's next.
Striving to get everything and everyone to go along with my self sovereignty and self-improvement plans for my life.
And then I don't wanna pointing out any of that, right?
Because I'm already beating myself in up.
And if they do, I'll go like, well, who are you to judge?
You know?
Yeah, exactly.
But even though we think highly of ourselves.
(11:04):
We are also often secretly very disappointed with ourselves.
Yeah.
We think we need to prove ourselves, earn everything that we want, and earn everything.
Everyone else's approval, including God's.
Yeah.
And I need to get busy fixing myself and creating my perfect life now, and we feel that we have to get somewhere next and get to or achieve the next thing in life.
(11:26):
And then, okay, then when that happens, when I finally get there, make that much money, or this happens, or I lose the next 10 pounds, or, you know, whatever.
We'll be happy.
I'll be happy.
And then I'll consider myself good enough.
Or lovable enough or valuable or et cetera, right?
Yeah.
So, so I'm always in a hurry to get to the next whatever the next me.
Heath Hollensbe (11:46):
Yeah.
And what I'm finding out in life is that once you get to that thing, there's, it's just a downward spiral.
'cause there's always the next thing, right?
You lose the 10 pounds.
Like, well now if I can only do this, it's just a never, unless you find your comfort in what?
Right.
God says about you, you'll never find it.
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (11:59):
Unhappiness and impatience with myself is then projected as impatience with others and with God as well.
Yeah, absolutely.
'cause, 'cause it can't be me really.
Yeah.
But it is.
And so you see how this, that's a toxic cycle.
Oh man, it's, it sure is.
Heath Hollensbe (12:14):
It sure is, man.
Yeah.
I, I do notice that a lot in my life.
And even as you're talking, I'm thinking, you know, some of the things that my wife will call me out on, or even my kids are now starting to see is, um.
My lack of patience towards them is a frustration, an internal frustration with myself or the approval thing.
Right.
We've talked about this before.
Yeah.
Like I gotta, I gotta figure out how to get God's approval constantly.
(12:38):
And so,
Caesar Kalinowski (12:39):
or you're really trying to prove yourself to heath.
Yeah.
Right.
Much of us not believing that God is gracious.
It's another one of the four Gs.
So I'm Is, is, is that we, we try to prove ourselves to my, to ourselves, to others, and to God.
But you know, the good news of the gospel reminds us that God is gracious.
We already have his full love.
(13:00):
I was gonna say to you, brother, yeah, you have his full love.
You don't need to do another thing.
Earn another dollar, drop another pound.
Sure.
Shine the shoes better.
You know nothing to earn his full love and generosity and care and protection, acceptance.
You have it.
Yeah.
God is patient and kind with us and we can trust him in our life and with everything that he's doing to conform us into the image of his son in his own time.
Heath Hollensbe (13:24):
Yeah.
What is that man?
When I think as you're talking, I was thinking about something we talked about.
Do you believe
Caesar Kalinowski (13:27):
that?
Or is God just tapping his foot waiting for, you know, Caesar to get his be together?
You know, no,
Heath Hollensbe (13:31):
I, I desire to believe that and, and it is a retraining of my mind and my heart.
'cause I, it's like Adam and Eve, we've talked about this cigars in theology.
It was like.
I don't even believe that God was withholding, like, you're not good.
You're right.
You're holding something from me.
It's knowledge, it's this or that.
And I feel the same way.
I, I
Caesar Kalinowski (13:46):
would be gooder, I could manage the knowledge good and evil better.
Yeah, absolutely.
So like, here we go.
First bite.
Heath Hollensbe (13:52):
Yeah.
I,
Caesar Kalinowski (13:53):
I find myself, it'll kill you.
Heath Hollensbe (13:54):
Oh, did, does man surely die?
You know?
Oh.
So how does this, how does this translate into us having patience with God?
Like, I know this is connected.
Uh, I know that our frustration with ourself often expound to other people.
Uh, why don't we have patience with God?
What, how do we remedy that?
Uh,
Caesar Kalinowski (14:13):
well, like I said, and, and I'm not by nature or my past history, a very patient person, I, I just have to say that.
'cause like my family's listen.
Yeah, me neither.
Um, and, and where this is grossest in my life is with my impatience with God.
And I'll tell you what it looks like is no patience in prayer.
Here's my to-do list, and I'd like all of that now.
Heath Hollensbe (14:33):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (14:33):
Okay.
Think about Abram and Sarah, right?
Yeah.
You know, Abram and Sarah, they, God promises a baby.
In fact a whole nation like crazy offspring.
And they were waiting and they're waiting and waiting and it's like, and God's watching their faithfulness and watching their trustand they're like, I'll tell you what we'll do, Abram, uh, you'll just sleep with my slave girl and we'll have a baby that way.
(14:53):
Yep.
And you know the birth that, the birth of Islam?
Yeah, it was, you know, so, um, here's, here's another gross weight comes out.
No patience in what God is doing in the lives of others that I'm discipling or parenting or training.
And this is a double whammy.
Uh, on God and his people.
Really?
That one?
Yeah.
But I'm not like, uh, you know, God, I'm doing all the right stuff here.
(15:13):
Why are these people just not getting it?
Heath Hollensbe (15:15):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (15:16):
Or like, you know how many times I've sat down and explained that so gently, so patiently to my son or my daughter, and they're still the same way.
Or my wife.
And, and really I'm, I'm, what I'm exhibiting is I'm not patient with God and his sovereignty over their lives.
Like we think I can change them.
I can't change myself.
Yeah.
I'm not patient with me.
What?
You know, oh man, this is so convicting right now.
Sorry.
(15:37):
Here's another one.
I'm not patient with God's revelation of himself and what he's really doing in my life.
Hmm.
Like what exactly are the plans you have for me?
Lord, I'm not patient with that.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, so what I'm, what I'm content to do is.
Sort of cloudy, sort of murky, have super high expectations and goals, and then kinda be ticked at God's not somehow stepping up and they're happening.
Heath Hollensbe (16:01):
Well, I think we see this a lot too, in, in the way the church evangelizes, right?
It's like, no, we have a goal.
We gotta get people saved.
We gotta do this rather than like actually walking and getting to know people.
We have agendas.
Caesar Kalinowski (16:11):
Who is God, right?
Heath Hollensbe (16:13):
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (16:13):
And I, and I think to some patience with God stems ultimately from believing a lie that God's not that good.
He, he's pretty good.
But like you were saying, you know back to Adam and Eve.
Right.
But we kind of know better.
Yeah.
I do a lot of this stuff quicker, sooner, better, God.
Yep.
I mean, you're good, but I'd be gooder.
Yeah.
But, but the truth is that God only does what is good and right and perfect.
(16:36):
And being patient with God starts with believing that, hmm God, I don't understand your timing, but you only do what's good.
So now my expectation flips to.
I can wait to see what you're concocting and what you're doing in my heart, you know, and I think about people who they're not patient with God for a spouse.
You know, and they're like, do you believe that God loves you and he's good and he's preparing you and your heart and whoever thatspouse is, if he hasn't for you, so that when you come together in this marriage that's primarily for his glory and not yours, you will.
(17:09):
Hmm.
Like, can we be patient with God?
And, and, and that's the thing behind the thing.
Do we really believe that God is good And he is.
I just wanna Yeah.
Affirm that and remind everyone listening and you and me.
He is good and I can trust him so I don't have to look elsewhere.
For my satisfaction and try to like manufacture it and force it and all that and I can be patient with God.
(17:30):
That's great, dude.
Heath Hollensbe (17:32):
How, how much of this patience, like with God, with ourselves and with others, how much of it is that, like the tripod analogy?
Do we have to master the art of being patient with God and ourselves before we're able to be patient with one another or vice versa?
How does all that work?
Well, I
Caesar Kalinowski (17:45):
kind of went in reverse for that reason.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, I think that God can work on our patience.
Yeah.
'cause it's his fruit of the spirit.
It's his spirit in us.
Yep.
And we can, we can manifest and be more patient and gift patience with others and with ourselves.
But I don't think really, if we don't believe God is good, I don't, we don't think he's great.
(18:06):
Right.
We don't trust him.
Then I then I think that we have to be God.
Heath Hollensbe (18:10):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (18:11):
And then I'm a bad God.
I suck at being God.
So then back to, I'm gonna be impatient with myself.
And that always leaks out on everybody else.
Heath Hollensbe (18:17):
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (18:18):
So it kind of does kind of flow up the hill.
If you're not impatient with others, it's a good chance.
It's 'cause you, you're not impatient with yourself.
Hmm.
And if you're not patient with yourself, it's 'cause you're trying to be your own God and you don't believe God is good and he's great and gracious in your life.
So kind of, you talk about a three-legged stool there or like a tripod.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of all three.
But clearly the strongest one is, do you believe the gospel?
(18:39):
Do you believe what's true about God?
And what he says is true of you.
That's
Heath Hollensbe (18:43):
the root of it.
And before we, we started recording here, you actually told me, uh, about this exercise that you had, like, it was a 15 minute exercise that helps uncover your impatience.
Yeah.
Would you mind sharing that?
Yeah.
I won't take 15 minutes to
Caesar Kalinowski (18:52):
explain it, but it might take.
Heath Hollensbe (18:54):
15.
Yeah, let's do it on, let's do
Caesar Kalinowski (18:55):
it.
Yeah.
Lemme just go through it real quick and, and we will add this to the upcoming download of the big three for people who download the big three.
Yep.
Every week.
But, um, I'm gonna, I'll add it to it, so, great.
You know, but if you want to grab a piece of paper, uh, or fire up your laptop or your notes app or whatever, you can write these down.
There's, there's five steps to this.
Okay.
First one, think about recent times when you acted with impatience with others, with yourself or with God.
(19:18):
Okay, and then write those down as soon as they come to mind.
Like, don't overanalyze it yet.
Just write.
So think about once, what have I been impatient with, with others, with myself, with God?
Just write down, spend like, you know, give yourself like a two, three minute, you know, timeline, whatever.
Heath Hollensbe (19:33):
Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski (19:33):
Second.
Then ask yourself for each of those, why am I so impatient?
What is producing this in my heart?
Hmm.
Maybe look at those four Gs again.
Go, go look up that episode and learn those.
Write down everything comes to mind.
Like, what am I being impatient about?
Why?
What's producing in my heart?
What am I not believing?
Okay.
Okay.
Then go a little further and deeper into your answers by asking a second time what, whatever you just wrote go.
(19:56):
Why?
What am I not believing to be true about God in this and, and what am I believing that may not be true about this person or myself?
Like, so you're looking for belief things here?
Yeah.
So first just go, why am I so impatient?
You know what's producing this?
And then question your answers.
Yep.
With what am I not believing it might be true about this person or myself or God.
Heath Hollensbe (20:19):
Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski (20:19):
Fourth step is keep repeating step three until you get to the thing behind the thing.
The real issue.
Heath Hollensbe (20:25):
Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski (20:25):
You gotta be honest with yourself.
So if this is serious, you will.
Yep.
Um, now.
It's, uh, it's time to repent, which means to change your mind about what is true and accept that God already knew all this.
Okay?
Yep.
He's fully forgiven you already, and you now ask the spirit to remind you of these truths.
Next time you're in the same situation, or you face those same issues.
Heath Hollensbe (20:47):
You know what's been good for me too is like, is to, like with my spouse, Kathleen, she'll, oftentimes she'll affirm the ways that she sees growth too, because that's a good like barometer of like, Hey, I am growing.
This isn't just me figuring this out on myself, but when you see that in somebody else and go, Hey, I just wanna let you know, man.
Beautiful.
Over the last year or so, I've just really noticed the way you respond to people's.
You're, you're, you're growing in grace and there's some patience that, and if you could connect the Gospel to it, like you really
Caesar Kalinowski (21:10):
have moved from this belief to this now and that, and that.
Shift is really, it's evident.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Love that.
Beautiful.
Heath Hollensbe (21:17):
Okay, so we're gonna give that, um, away as part of like an addition to the big three for this week.
Yeah.
And the big three.
If you've been busy and you can't write down the top three takeaways we want you to leave with, we'll give you the free download by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three and you'll get a beautiful printout.
Caesar, what are the big three for this week?
Caesar Kalinowski (21:35):
Big three.
First, the root of impatience stems from a love of self and being me focused.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Don't miss this.
Don't miss these three things regularly.
Reading through the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians five will help you to remind you of what's already true of you in Christ.
Mm-hmm.
Because you have the spirit dwelling in you.
His fruit is your fruit.
Remember, God is good.
(21:56):
So you don't have to look elsewhere for your satisfaction.
Rehearse those.
Rehearse those, those fruits.
Spirit in Galatians five.
Heath Hollensbe (22:02):
Amen.
Caesar Kalinowski (22:03):
Second, God knows you completely.
He knows all your fears, your hopes, your experiences, and he's always patient with you.
He knows where you strive and where you stress out, and he loves you just the same.
He's at work all the time and he's able to perfectly handle everything and everyone in your life without your help.
Really?
Yeah, he can do it all.
He really can.
(22:24):
But, but, and this is a huge one, God desires relationship with you above you achieving perfect performance or perfect patience.
Mm-hmm.
So the pressure's off.
Wow.
I mean, just back that up and hear that one again.
That's so good.
Okay.
And then the third one, this is where we get real practical.
Find 15 minutes today to go through that exercise that we just outlined to help uncover your impatience and the false beliefs connected to each and I.
(22:48):
And I just wanna say too, it's also a good idea to share your results with another loved one.
And you gotta be a little vulnerable here, uh, like a spouse or close friend.
Sibling that you can trust.
I expect yours in writing.
Yeah.
Triplicate sealed.
And then review what you learn, you know, making it a part of your regular devotional time.
I'd say for like, try it for 30 days or something like that.
As you move from unbelief to belief in these matters, there's, there's, there's something real.
(23:11):
Yep.
You know about looking at that, rehearsing that, and then speaking what's really in fact true.
Yep.
And I think God will honor that.
Okay,
Heath Hollensbe (23:20):
so we're, again, we're gonna give you the big three by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three, and we're also gonna give you that exercise of how to uncover your impatience.
That'll be included as well.
Lots of freebies for you.
Thanks for joining us today.
For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday Disciple dot com and remember.
(23:40):
You really can live with a spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.
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