October 25, 2023 • 58 mins
In this special episode, we have the honor of hosting Dodo (Doritt) and Siggie (Sigmund), Craig's parents, and a couple who have been married for an incredible 60 years! Their journey began in middle school, and now they share their secrets to maintaining a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Join us as we delve into their remarkable story and discover the key to their enduring love. Despite facing challenges and skepticism from others, they persevered through open communication and unwavering commitment. Learn how they navigated difficult times and embraced the changes that come with different stages of life.
Get ready for an insightful conversation filled with laughter, honesty, and profound wisdom as Dodo and Siggie shed light on what it truly takes to build a lifelong partnership. Whether you're seeking relationship advice or simply intrigued by their remarkable journey, this episode offers invaluable lessons from true masters of love.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Craig (00:00):
There's a vase on my parents' dining room and here
they are Sigmund and Doritt.
Reading you what it says.
Dodo (00:09):
Doubt, that the stars are fire.
Siggie (00:12):
Doubt, that the sun does move.
Dodo (00:15):
Doubt, truth be a lie.
Siggie (00:18):
But never doubt, that I loved you.
Aw,
Intro Song (00:23):
Welcome to Everyday Masters, the show where we seek
to understand mastery.
People who have it, people whotry for it, people who struggle
with it, and how we all manifestit in our own lives.
Welcome to Everyday Masters.
Everyday Masters.
Everyday Masters.
Everyday.
Every, every day.
Master, every day.
Craig (00:48):
What's up Craig?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm great.
How are you?
It's nice to hear you cuz it's apodcast.
I can hear you, but I also seeyou with my eyeball.
No, it's we.
Maury (01:02):
Yeah it's a See I know, I understand.
It's a see or here?
It's both cuz we're doing theYouTubey thing
Craig (01:07):
too.
Yeah.
Okay.
So fine.
So then I'd like, it's nice tohear and see you.
I'd like to sear you.
Sear, and it's nice to sear you.
This week everybody.
Really a fascinating episode.
For obvious reasons.
We interviewed my parents,Sigmund and Doritt Diamond, and
I was going up to LA to see myparents to do the normal, like
(01:28):
check in with my parents who arein their early eighties now.
And my wife and I, Nicole, wereheading up there.
And then it occurred to me, Icalled Maury, I said, this year
my parents will be married for60 years.
60 years.
And Maury and I are newermarried guys and we talk a lot
about our marriages andrelationship and all the normal
(01:49):
stuff that friends talk about,and I thought.
Holy crap.
My parents have mastery in athing that we talk about a lot.
Wouldn't it be cool if we satdown and talked with Siggie and
Dodo, that's what we call'em,about marriage, about
relationship, about how the hellthey have done this and these
(02:09):
two love each other you're notgonna believe it.
End the coolest part.
Super added bonus.
My wife Nicole, sat in on theinterview.
So we all sat there, the four ofus with, and Maury was on the
computer and it was this supercool thing.
And I gotta tell you, it waswild.
It was like a, like a brainbender for me.
I was part kid, I was partinterviewer.
I was like, I.
(02:31):
Inside.
There were stories I heard therewere perspectives I hadn't
thought about.
I was thinking as a child, as ahusband, it was huge.
There was a huge emotionalhangover after the thing.
We talked about it all weekend.
Everybody was lit up.
And I learned a lot.
We all learned a lot by doingthis.
And my parents were just like,wow.
It never even occurred to themthat they had mastery.
(02:53):
So cool.
And the whole thing was justthis crazy ball of family
wonderfulness.
This is a, big one for me.
Maury (03:02):
It was so amazing to be a fly on the wall and watch the
dynamic and, really get a watchyou, Craig.
Take this more maybe objectiveseat and really ask them
questions.
It wasn't necessarily earthshaking, shattering kind of
stuff, but it was just to seeyou in like really talking to
them free from the emotionalstuff we all experience and
(03:23):
family dynamics have this.
Yeah, there's an objectivity onit and, to see Nicole do it too
and, clearly see the connectionbetween Nicole and your family.
It was great.
And, they really are perfect forthe show.
And how I, know envision theshow in the way is that's,
mastery.
It's just something they havedone for, these decades.
And I love how you said we'relike newly married.
Like I'm about to have my, Ithink ninth anniversary, Right,
(03:43):
and I'm at 10.
You're at 10, but compared to60.
Yeah.
We're maybe just figuring itout.
Right.
And that came, that made sensein a way also listening to them.
But I, was.
I just felt so lucky andgrateful to get to be there and
talk to them and, yeah, like Isaid, I think they were really,
they were perfect for what Ithought this show would be
(04:06):
something people who have donesomething that many of us talk
about and here are people whosay, yeah here's how it works
for us.
It, was awesome.
Craig (04:15):
Yeah, get ready for the Diamonds, Siggie and Dodo on,
Siggie and Dodo this week'sepisode of Everyday Masters.
I think we could do a half hourchit chat.
We should get going.
Siggie (04:31):
Okay.
My God, you said this isn't aprofessional performance.
Maury (04:35):
I love you both and most of the time I love your child,
but occasionally he's just...
Siggie (04:39):
I mean...
Nicole (04:40):
Very bossy.
Craig (04:40):
Look.
Look
Maury (04:41):
Bossy!
Siggie (04:42):
Oh, God.
Nicole (04:44):
Just trying to do a whole follow up.
Siggie (04:45):
I haven't seen the guy in years.
Maury (04:48):
Yeah.
Craig (04:49):
Do you guys wanna finish about Barbie?
Siggie (04:51):
No, I don't wanna talk to him.
Craig (04:52):
Finish about Barbie.
Maury (04:53):
No, I'm with Sig, I'm not talking anymore.
Siggie (04:55):
I'm finish
Craig (04:56):
Finish about fucking Barbie.
Siggie (04:57):
Just ask your stupid questions.
Maury (04:58):
Let's start.
Are you recording this?
And the answer is yes.
Craig (05:08):
Welcome you guys.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Maury (05:12):
I'm so excited.
Siggie (05:13):
Yeah.
Craig (05:14):
For the listeners I'm sitting in what do we call this
room?
Dining room.
Dining room.
That's right.
The reason I don't know the nameof the dining room.
This is my childhood home.
I'm with my parents, Sigmundand,
Siggie (05:26):
Hi!
Craig (05:26):
Doritt, and my lovely wife Nicole.
We call'em Siggie and Dodo.
Maury, you can decide what youwanna call my folks.
And we're in the dining room ofthe home where I grew up in
Woodland Hills, California.
Coolest part about this room,Maury.
years ago, there would be a drumset right in where we were
sitting, in this room.
No.
I used to rock out to heavymetal with the drum set right
here.
(05:46):
That's how cool these parentsare.
Maury (05:49):
And for those of you who are listening one day, we'll we
will put up in the archives,we'll show you some of what
Craig looked like at that age.
Cause his hair so great.
It's so that's why you couldn'tfigure out how to call it a d
most people know how to call adining room, a dining room.
But you didn't know because,
Craig (06:03):
Drum room.
Maury (06:04):
Cuz it was the drum room.
Craig (06:05):
That's right.
I know this is the drum room.
Maury (06:07):
You're good parents.
Dodo (06:09):
Thank you.
Craig (06:09):
Siggie and Dodo, we are so excited to have you here.
Can you tell us on July 4th ofthis year, What special event
will occur?
Dodo (06:19):
It will be our 60th wedding anniversary.
Maury (06:23):
Wow!
Dodo (06:23):
60 years on the 4th.
Craig (06:24):
60 years.
Maury (06:25):
Wow.
Siggie (06:28):
And we have known each other since we were 13 years
old.
We met each other in juniorhigh.
Craig (06:35):
So our masters today, we think we have masters of
marriage, masters of therelationship.
Maury (06:41):
My first question was, did you know at 13 when you met,
did you know then?
Dodo (06:47):
My story is I was sitting in a bungalow at Louis Pasture
Junior High School, looking outof the window, and I saw this
really cute boy outside thewindow, and I said to the girl
next to me, who is that?
Maury (07:01):
Wow.
Dodo (07:02):
And she said, oh, that's Siggie Diamond.
He's really cute, but he'strouble.
Stay away.
Craig (07:07):
Uhhuh.
Dodo (07:08):
That was trouble.
First moment, eighth grade.
First moment Uhhuh.
So did I know.
I knew.
Maury (07:14):
You knew.
Dodo (07:14):
Did he know?
No.
Craig (07:16):
All right.
Sig, did you know Sig?
Siggie (07:17):
No.
You didn't know?
I, didn't know Doritt at all.
It took, I don't remember howlong.
But, and then even when I mether for the first time, she was
nice, but I was after more wildtype woman.
She didn't fit into that moldright away.
Later on we became friends, butI only looked at Doritt as a
(07:41):
sister.
I was very protective, and Iwould fix her up on dates, and
then I would threaten the guy.
If he tried anything, then Iwould break an arm or dislocate
his kneecap.
But I would always fix her up ondates, never thinking that I
wanted to go out with her, orshe even cared about me.
Craig (08:03):
Let's do the timeline because Maury there's a big
surprise for you in this story.
Walk us through the timeline ofthe major milestones that get
us.
To 60 years of marriage.
Dodo (08:14):
For the quick overview.
I was crazy about him from thefirst minute and he did not know
I existed.
He then became my friend.
Craig (08:21):
This is high school?
Siggie (08:22):
The end of junior high, beginning high school.
Craig (08:24):
Okay.
Dodo (08:25):
So he became a friend.
I went out with his friends.
I always liked him.
He didn't like me.
I was a nice girl.
He didn't you, he was not veryinterested.
So he had a very seriousgirlfriend in high school and
when we graduated from highschool, he was still going with
this other girl, not me, butthey broke up for a minute and
he actually called me and wewent out on a date after we
(08:46):
graduated from high school.
And of course I was veryexcited, very happy.
It lasted like a few minutes.
He then went into the CoastGuard, came back from the Coast
Guard, and again, this othergirl was not available for the
moment.
So he called me again for amoment and we had some dates and
I thought this was, it wasreally happening.
However, What I didn't know ishe was still seeing her.
Maury (09:09):
Oh.
Dodo (09:09):
And we had a date planned for New Year's Eve.
He calls me, he cancels a datefor New Year's Eve and on that
day he gets engaged.
He then, oh, okay.
Married her.
Craig (09:24):
He married her.
Dodo (09:26):
I was not invited to the wedding.
Everybody I knew went to thewedding except me.
It was really a horribleexperience.
Siggie (09:33):
Well, but wait tell them.
Dodo (09:34):
No, this is my story.
Get to tell later.
So he got married, five, 500people at the Beverly Hills
Hotel.
Maury (09:44):
Wow.
Dodo (09:45):
They got married during the time that he was married.
I, of course was very depressedand at a few weddings that I
went to, cuz we all were part ofthe same friend group.
I saw him and at one of theseweddings, I was sitting eating
my dinner and I looked up and Isaw he was staring at me across
the room.
I have to understand, he's nowmarried.
I haven't talked to him at allfor two years.
(10:07):
He's looking at me.
He then goes to my friend Lindaand tells her that he's leaving
his wife and that he reallywants to be with me.
She starts crying.
She drags me into the bathroomat this wedding and says, he
won't believe this Siggie'sleaving her and he wants to
marry you.
I went, this is never gonnahappen.
Craig (10:24):
How old are you at this point?
Dodo (10:26):
21 maybe.
Craig (10:28):
21.
Dodo (10:28):
Maybe 20.
Maury (10:29):
Wow.
Dodo (10:30):
Okay.
Maybe 20.
Nicole (10:30):
Wait, how long were they married for?
Dodo (10:32):
Six months.
So he hasn't left yet.
So then I get a phone call froma friend of mine.
It was an artist.
I have an art project I wannashow you.
Is it okay?
I go to his house and as I'mlooking at this project, the
phone rings.
And he says to me, would you getthe phone?
The phone is next to him, likeright here by his hand.
He said, would you get thephone?
I'm like, over there.
I said, why You could get it?
(10:52):
He said, no.
Would you get it?
I pick up the phone, hello?
It's Siggie on the phone.
Siggie says, I have to see you.
What are you talking about?
He says, I'm coming over.
He comes over I, he walks in thedoor.
I look at him.
I see that he's not wearing hiswedding ring.
And he says, I've left her.
I said, I don't believe you.
We go for a big walk, come backand he says I'm done.
(11:15):
I, made a really big mistake.
Not only had he married the girlthat he loved, but he was
working for her father.
Let me tell you how complicatedthis was.
So anyway, a long story short,we started seeing each other.
I could never tell my parents Iwas seeing him because of course
they hated him cuz he haddropped me on my head and gotten
married.
So his friends came and pickedme up and dropped me off on the
(11:37):
corner and he would pick me upon the corner.
We would go out.
Craig (11:40):
His friends, everybody was really concerned at this
point.
Like you were like, should Igive him another shot?
Dodo (11:48):
They were all saying,
Craig (11:49):
And what was everybody saying?
Dodo (11:50):
Don't he'll go back to her.
And you're like, ridiculous.
You shouldn't do it.
But did I listen?
No, because I've loved him somuch, I couldn't stand it.
This went on for a few years.
I finally told my parents that Iwas seeing him, that I wanted to
get married.
They were not in favor of it,but we did get married on the
4th of July, 1963.
Maury (12:10):
Hold on.
Siggie (12:11):
I'm even exhausted.
Craig (12:12):
Yeah.
Maury (12:13):
Before you go any further, I just wanna make one
comment cuz this is a show aboutlooking for elements of mastery
in our lives and how we do thesethings that we all struggle
with.
So what I can see, for those ofyou who are just listening, you
can't see it if you, when yougo, when we have a YouTube
channel and you do see it, whatI think is amazing right now is
both the couples in front of me,I think they're both holding
each other's hands,
Siggie (12:33):
Right.
Maury (12:34):
and I think that's really interesting.
Okay.
Just make that observation.
Craig (12:38):
Dad, did you have any, beats in there you wanted to
add?
Siggie (12:41):
When Doritt and I started as friends, she was a
confidant.
I was going through a very, darkperiod in my personal life.
And we would go out for coffee,go to the beach and sit and
talk, and I could always talk toher.
So I never looked at her inother than a real friend.
(13:06):
As far as getting married, yeah,it was annulled I was only
married six months.
The irony was for me, when Idecided that I had to get out of
that marriage, father and I werealone together at his house, and
he had a major heart attack anddied my arms.
Maury (13:25):
Oh my God.
Siggie (13:25):
And I couldn't save him or do anything.
I knew then that I was in anunhealthy relationship.
And my go-to person was Doritt,always.
And that's when I really knewwho and what I had already.
Craig (13:42):
And you've told me that you realized you actually were
like in love with the father.
This father, he really lovedthis man actually.
Siggie (13:51):
The family.
Craig (13:52):
He loved the family.
And when the father died, his,he realized what he was left
with.
Is that right?
Siggie (13:58):
Yeah.
My whole family died.
At that time when I met Dorittat our friend's house and talked
to her, I knew I had a hard roadto her to convince her.
I knew her parents never likedme.
So it was a question of buildingsome trust.
I knew it was going to take sometime.
Maury (14:20):
Sure.
Siggie (14:21):
And that's really what we started with.
So we started at a very earlytime in our relationship to
build trust and very opencommunication.
Which has always been ourbackbone.
We come from two differentreally different.
Backgrounds, family dynamicswere from one end to the other.
Craig (14:46):
In a nutshell what, were the different dynamics?
Siggie (14:48):
I came from a very, abusive background, being an
only child.
Andor came from an adored,loving, caring family.
Dodo (14:59):
Being an only child.
Siggie (14:59):
Being an only child.
Craig (15:01):
Two only children by the way, also interesting.
Siggie (15:03):
Doritt had the misfortune of knowing my parents
and actually seeing andunderstanding what I was dealing
with or what I had gone through,and I have seen her lifestyle,
but never up close because herparents, believe it or not,
(15:24):
really didn't let us in thehouse.
They just really could not ever,forgive me.
Craig (15:29):
The lovely and talented, Nicole, now.
Nicole (15:31):
Keywords, I'm hearing best friends.
And you can't listen to anybodybut yourselves when you're
falling in love.
Dodo (15:38):
It's true.
Except along the way here,because all of my friends, even
his friends,
Siggie (15:43):
Yeah.
Dodo (15:44):
Did not support us getting together.
They didn't trust it.
Nobody.
Nobody trusted it.
Nicole (15:47):
Or your parents?
Dodo (15:48):
My parents for sure.
But even friends said he's gonnago back to her.
This isn't gonna happen.
So I went to therapy.
I was going to UCLA at the time,and I went for therapy for six
months there at my last visit,the therapist, Dr.
Ingham, I remember said, youknow what?
You're strong enough to handlethis.
Go for it.
And I thought, wow.
Because I was sure he was gonnasay, this is a mistake.
(16:10):
He didn't.
Craig (16:10):
So in light of the fact that you guys had a tricky
start.
Of the friends that they have.
It is safe to say that all theseother people with whatever, how
else they fell in love.
Was it safe to say that 90% ofthem are now divorced?
Dodo (16:22):
Correct.
Siggie (16:23):
And remarried.
Craig (16:25):
And remarried.
Okay.
Maury (16:26):
Sig just got it outta the way early.
Craig (16:28):
Here's my question.
As you roll into 60 years,people are different in their
teens, twenties, thirties,forties, fifties, sixties,
seventies, eighties.
People change.
To me it makes sense that peoplewould break up.
It does.
Cuz I think people, their livesgrow in different directions.
What has kept you guys togetherfor 60 years when literally
(16:52):
everyone around you broke up?
Dodo (16:53):
My answer is, I just adored him.
I just loved him and adored himand I knew he loved and adored
me, so no matter what happened,That was the core of our
marriage.
And he's a person who can seemvery nice right now, but he's a
tough guy.
He can be not nice and notfriendly and all this.
(17:14):
And people would say to me, howdo you put up with this?
And I would say, I don't care.
I just love, I just,
Craig (17:19):
I don't know who they're talking about Dad.
Dodo (17:21):
I just love him.
So I just love him and I lovedhim.
And that's what was the answer.
Craig (17:26):
What about for you?
What has kept you together wheneverybody else has broken up?
Siggie (17:30):
I swore to her that I would never lie to her or ever
cheat again.
That we would always be bestfriends and we are best friends.
We had absolutely no problem.
As soon as Covid hit, we had somuch fun just being together in
(17:52):
the house.
We developed a certain littleroutine in the morning and in
the afternoon we planned ourmeals.
We cook together.
We just enjoy and laugh and havefun together.
I think it's an attitude.
Nicole (18:10):
Are there any deal breakers?
Dodo (18:12):
Deal breaker meaning what?
Nicole (18:14):
That it would end this amazing 60 years.
Siggie (18:18):
Anything that I could not forgive her for, right?
Whatever, that I would honestlyhave to say there probably is
nothing that she could ever door say that we could not work
out or repair because of thetype of communication we have
built and the relationship thatwe have of honesty.
Nicole (18:41):
When it comes to the big times where things aren't rosy,
things aren't great, things arescary, you don't agree, what do
you do?
Dodo (18:50):
Talk about it.
Siggie (18:50):
We talk about it.
We,
Dodo (18:52):
Communication is a key.
Siggie (18:54):
Absolutely.
Dodo (18:55):
Marriage, we talked about everything.
Siggie (18:56):
We've had a saying between us as a lot of people
I'm sure have heard.
There's three sides to everystory, and we have learned if we
make a mistake, we own it.
Either apologize or deal withthe feeling of why you might
have said something that hurther feelings or embarrassed her
because I must be honest, thereare times I have embarrassed
(19:20):
her.
Craig (19:21):
You!?
Siggie (19:21):
Yeah, I,
Craig (19:22):
Oh my God.
Siggie (19:23):
Look, I've been known to make a couple of mistakes,
Craig (19:26):
Really?
Siggie (19:26):
But I do own up to it.
I don't try to get out of it,but it helps me to become a
better person by getting it.
Taken care of right away and notwaiting six months or two days
or three days.
It's taken care of within a day.
Maury (19:44):
Siggie and Dodo.
How did you feel when yourdarling son Craig asked you to
be on a show about mastery?
Dodo (19:51):
I was so excited.
I was honored.
I was honored, and I thought, ohmy God, am I a master of this?
Huh?
I didn't even ever think aboutit, but it was a big honor.
Siggie (20:03):
I, was nervous.
Okay.
As, as, much as I'll talk, Idon't like really having the
limelight on me.
Sure.
I'm not that kind of a person.
Craig (20:15):
I'm so happy to share these two with the world and,
Nicole and I talk about them alot.
It is an incredible thing tohave two parents that, that love
each other, that like eachother, that want to be around
each other, that are rooting foreach other.
In light of all the differentkinds of relationships we bump
into in the world it, is reallywonderful.
And I just wanted to ask each ofyou, mom, what is your favorite
(20:40):
thing about Siggie?
Dodo (20:41):
I think my favorite thing about Siggie is that he's
probably always game foranything.
He's got a very open attitude tothings.
He doesn't like to do everythingthat I like to do.
I may not like to do everythinghe likes to do, but he's always
open.
Craig (20:58):
And the same question for you.
What is your favorite thingabout your heat?
By the way he calls her hisFlower about your beloved.
I know, it's crazy.
It's true.
This is a real relationship,ladies and gentlemen.
It's really true.
What is your favorite thingabout your Flower?
Siggie (21:14):
I love the fact, which I call her Tinkerbell.
She has an outlook on life thatI wished be honest with all
these years together.
That I would have her attitude.
She never finds fault or seesbad in people where I grew up
(21:38):
quite the opposite, to be veryhonest.
Okay.
I was a very angry, violentperson, but she always has the
bright side of life.
Maury (21:50):
Another question we like to ask in terms of talking to
people about their field ofmastery is, can anyone be a
master?
And the way I'm hearing it todayin terms of marriage is can you
have a successful marriage if itdoesn't have, cuz the way both
of you were talking about it isyou knew there was something you
knew that love that you bothfelt once you found it.
(22:12):
Once Siggie wised up and knewwhat was really going on, he got
his proverbial crap straight.
Once he got through that thing.
We have to get through to findthat.
Can you create that?
Can you develop that?
Or do you have to have that fromthe beginning?
Siggie (22:26):
To be able to accept Doritt's, strengths, and to know
my weaknesses.
I have left my ego when it comesto Doritt and myself outside.
I respect her strengths as sherespects my strengths.
(22:46):
And vice versa.
We, play off of each other thatway.
Which has been a very, importantlesson for me.
Men don't ask for directions orbig boys don't cry.
That's never been an issuebetween the two of us.
Dodo (23:05):
So somehow I felt that for me marriage was, gonna be a
lifetime commitment and that'swhat I wanted.
And because I loved him so much,from the time I was a little
girl, it just seemed like it wasa fatal complete.
This was my guy, this is what Iwas gonna do.
And I knew what my mother said.
That a marriage is work.
Maury (23:23):
So that's interesting.
You knew that the work, youweren't just assuming because I
love him and I have thesefeelings, it's gonna be a dance
in the park.
That's right.
You had a sense,
Dodo (23:31):
I knew it was,
Maury (23:31):
because that's certainly been cuz you hear people say
that, but then in my experience,when you actually hit the work
spot,
Dodo (23:38):
Yeah.
Maury (23:39):
You don't wanna do it.
Dodo (23:40):
That's right.
You hear it.
But when you actually have to dowhat the work actually is,
right?
No, I'm not doing that.
I'm out.
Craig (23:48):
Can I ask that question though?
Nicole and I have talked aboutthis a lot.
The relationships are workthing.
Dodo (23:54):
Yes.
Craig (23:55):
I, have a different spin on this one guy spin, and I
think Nicole and I bond on this.
I think my relationship withNicole is pretty easy.
I think when you strip away thestressors of life, money, kids
work, stuff like that, she and Iare great friends.
Being with her is great.
It's easy.
We, like to do the same stuff.
(24:15):
I don't like the phrase"Relationships are work".
I think life is work.
I think the stuff around arelationship requires work.
But the being in love withNicole and being with Nicole in
my life is pretty damn easy forme.
Dodo (24:31):
Becase neither of you is a problem personality, neither of
you.
Craig (24:36):
Thank you.
I've been saying that for a longtime.
Siggie (24:39):
I came with a lot of baggage.
Dodo (24:40):
Siggie a tough guy.
He's a package.
He's a,
Craig (24:44):
Hang on.
Nicole's coming in,.
Maury (24:46):
It's getting good folks.
Nicole (24:48):
I think that there is work always to be done,
Siggie (24:52):
No question.
Nicole (24:52):
And that Craig and I have a deal that if any of us
call it that we have to go totherapy.
If something gets to a pointthat we can't meet eye and eye,
we both agree no matter how badit is, how bad we want.
We'll go.
No questions asked.
We are never allowed to saydivorce word.
Think it, walk it, talk it.
(25:12):
You're not allowed.
And individually, we work veryhard on ourselves.
So life is gonna be in session,mean work, kids, money moving,
everything you can think of.
But we both separately work veryhard on ourselves.
So when things get tough, wehave people, professionals to
help guide us, meet in themiddle.
Siggie (25:33):
It, took me a long time to get help other than Doritt,
and because I really came to ourmarriage.
With a lot of trauma andbaggage.
It was her strength andunderstanding that helped me to
be where I am today.
Dodo (25:55):
Sweet.
Craig (25:57):
Oh, they're kissing.
Maury (25:59):
Yeah.
It's amazing.
Siggie (25:59):
People used to say, I'd either be in jail or dead if it
wasn't really for Doritt.
And I thank her all the time forhaving her little Tinkerbell
personality and herunderstanding of what I went
through.
And it has not been easy.
Craig (26:17):
As your child, I don't wanna know this, but I do wanna
know this, was there ever a timealong the way where you guys got
close where you thought, we'renot gonna make it?
Siggie (26:25):
Yes.
Craig (26:25):
Whoa.
That was quick.
Siggie (26:27):
Once.
Craig (26:28):
What was it?
Siggie (26:28):
I can remember as if it was yesterday.
Our first son was, I don't know,six months a year old.
I was still jumping around fromjob to job, and I came home one
day and Doritt looked at me andshe says, I cannot take this
anymore, of the instability ofme not working full-time or
(26:53):
lying about getting fired orwhatever.
We sat down and we talked aboutit, and I said to her, at that
time, I give you my word, I willnever be out of a job again and
not support my family.
Maury (27:12):
Wow.
Siggie (27:12):
As Craig knows, I worked in my first profession 37 years,
hating every day that I went towork.
Maury (27:22):
Wow.
Siggie (27:23):
I was successful, but I hated the job every day.
As you, you do know, but I neverbroke my promise to Doritt.
Craig (27:32):
For all us young bucks out there that are wanting to
learn from the masters.
When you look around, you'veseen a lot of marriages bust up
over the years.
What's a similarity between alot of broken marriages?
Is there one common thing thathappens that we all should be on
the lookout for?
Dodo (27:50):
That's a good question.
At one point in our lives, wewere sitting around the dinner
table in the room right nextdoor, and Craig Diamond said,
how come you guys aren't gettingdivorced?
What do you mean, why aren't wegetting divorced?
Because every single person heknew the other of our friends,
all of our friends were gettingdivorced.
(28:10):
So why aren't you gettingdivorced?
I said we don't wanna getdivorced.
We love each other.
He couldn't understand it.
Exactly.
I don't know if you rememberthat.
It was like why are you, so Ithink that what, I've seen with
all the divorces and all ofthem, and there's a lot of them,
is that in every case there wassome kind of abuse, either
(28:33):
emotional or physical or verbal.
There was some kind of abuse inalmost every case that
ultimately the woman couldn'tput up with anyone.
Craig (28:43):
Ah typically, came from the man and the woman couldn't
take it anymore.
Just was, is that the commonone?
Dodo (28:49):
Yeah, and the and of my friends.
Of my friends.
That was typically what it was.
Siggie (28:55):
And most of the men were cheating on the wives.
Craig (28:58):
So infidelity the most common thing.
It was a, or you're saying it'sany kind of abuse.
Siggie (29:03):
Yeah.
Craig (29:04):
That could be a,
Siggie (29:05):
Exactly.
Craig (29:06):
Any abuse.
Siggie (29:06):
Yeah.
Maury (29:07):
So, don't, don't marry a man is what I'm hearing.
Just don't,
Siggie (29:10):
Yeah.
Maury (29:10):
don't marry a man.
Yeah.
I remember divorce hitting mytown like, a virus.
It was, yeah.
It was post seventies andeverybody had made a, coming out
of the fifties and sixties withall kinds of rules of behavior
and how it was supposed to be inthe seventies hit and everybody
started experimenting and itjust, it all fell apart.
Craig (29:26):
Can I ask you guys, Nicole and Maury, like your,
both of your parents weredivorced.
What's it like sitting withthese rock stars in light of
your own experiences andwhatever fallout comes from
being a child of divorce?
I always felt like.
I the coolest parents ever thatalways loved each other.
(29:47):
I never needed to worry aboutthat thing in my life.
Nicole (29:50):
For me, I might do this backwards.
What I noticed, the biggestdifference that I've never seen
is exactly what you see even inthis podcast.
What I tell people, give you anexample.
Last night.
So we're all tired, we're goingto bed.
Siggie's heading upstairs, it's10:30, it's time for bed.
Doritt's not tired.
(30:11):
He's tired.
I see him turn around on hisheels cuz she's not ready to go
to bed, and he comes downstairsto hang out with her.
There's these little momentsthat I look in awe, I just
didn't see that.
And they're holding hands theyreally, watch out for each other
in these moments that easily Icould miss and I didn't see
(30:34):
that.
So in my.
Life.
It was survival of the fittest.
You take care of yourself firstand whatever's left is for
everybody else.
And ultimately that didn't work.
And I think getting that fromsomeone that saw this, took a
while to get used to.
Craig (30:52):
By the way, last night also, my dad came in from being
out.
The three of us were there.
He, of course, we haven't seeneach other in a while.
Big, hug and kiss from me.
Big hug and kiss for Nicole.
And then my mom's overrelationship.
Me, too Me too.
But after 60 years, she doesn'tcare if she's third.
She's getting her hugging herkiss as well.
(31:13):
And that's an important thingwhen he walks in the door.
Still to this day, that's huge.
Maury (31:17):
No, it's huge.
I know.
Dodo (31:18):
That's the glue.
Maury (31:19):
That's the glue.
Siggie (31:20):
It didn't come naturally.
I had to learn how to besensitive to other people's
feelings.
Because of my background andtrying to be a survivor, I had
to learn which people might notunderstand how to be warm and
(31:42):
sensitive and have empathy andsympathy and not just be a hard
stone cold person, I make it apoint, I really have to think
about it when I get outta mycar.
All kidding aside, when I comein the house to find, Doritt and
walk up and give her a kiss andsay hello when the kids are
(32:05):
here, I make it a point.
Because Nicole,
Craig (32:07):
So it's a bullshit hug and kiss for me.
When you, when you walk in,you're saying it's all a train
Siggie (32:13):
except for me and Nicole.
Craig (32:14):
Oh, okay.
Got it.
Maury (32:15):
That's what I'm hearing, that I'm not hearing that.
Craig (32:17):
Other ones you gotta work at.
Maury (32:18):
I'm hearing a couple legit ones and then one gotta...
nah.
Siggie (32:21):
Yeah, this is an afterthought, but I run from
Nicole first.
Craig (32:25):
Smart, smart.
Maury (32:27):
Yeah.
To answer your question, interms of my parents I think they
came together for the time theywere together.
My sister and I got created andthey were not meant to be
together.
What, changed my life in thelast three years?
Because I think of myself as apretty nice guy.
But my nice kindness is oftennot, I don't know if it's
actually really real.
It's my, you were a tough guy.
I'm like, nice guy.
(32:47):
I think some people might hearwhat you were choosing to do,
Siggie as that doesn't soundvery romantic, but I think one
of the biggest epiphanies reallyin my life that happened in the
last couple years, truly was youcan't love someone until you
love yourself.
How many times you read that ona card?
Finally it hit me.
And I'm middle aged.
What came from that waslearning.
(33:08):
I, was given an exercise, whichis to write five things I love
about myself and five things Ilove about my wife every day for
10 days.
And I can't repeat.
And what was interesting was dayfour I woke up and I was like, I
don't like myself very muchtoday.
And frankly I don't like hervery much today.
So to have to choose it, to haveto find something, what opened
(33:31):
up was one, like you're saying,you gotta get outta the car and
make the choice.
The things that all of a suddendrove me crazy were the things I
started to love that reallychanged everything.
Cuz I think we all have an idea.
I had an idea of what it'ssupposed to look like.
Love is supposed to look likethis, but part of it I'm hearing
is the choice that today I'mgonna buck off all my nonsense.
(33:55):
And I'm gonna walk in there.
I'm gonna show them despite thisis who I love and this is where
I am.
And I just think that's soimportant to hear because I
think part of where I've gottenin trouble is if it's not like
this all the time, then screwit.
Instead of, no, you gottasometimes just make that choice
to be, I just, I'm hearing a lotof you guys saying respect,
(34:17):
respecting each other.
Siggie (34:19):
When I come home from driving an hour on the freeway
and I'm exhausted.
And I know going up and findingmy wife in the office and giving
her a kiss hello.
And asking her that makes mehappy.
And it makes her happy.
Craig (34:37):
By the way, real quick.
This is also amazing.
Mom, are you happy today?
Dodo (34:40):
Very!
Craig (34:41):
Sig, are you happy today?
Siggie (34:42):
The happiest I've ever been.
Craig (34:44):
These two are so happy and so in love at 60.
It is the most inspiring thingof all time.
just gotta tell you.
Okay,
Dodo (34:53):
Thank you.
Craig (34:54):
Did you have something?
Nicole (34:54):
The recapper, cuz you know I love and my head is
spinning too, Maury, of thetakeaway that I even like you
Sig.
I didn't grow up with that and Iwas the survivor.
Then I met who came from youaffectionate and present and
loving and holding hand and Iwas like, whoa, what are we
(35:15):
doing here?
And I love it, but it isdefinitely not what I saw and
what I came from.
So it is something that can belearned.
But like you said, and I needto, even hearing this, that
exercise to remember I'll comein.
It's been a hard day.
I'm tired, I'm grumpy, I'mstarving.
(35:35):
I'm in my own head.
And to pause and sit in the car,the takeaway, the glue, we're
pretty good at it.
We could be better.
I could be better, is to pause,shake that off.
Give myself a moment, come lookfor my husband and give him a
kiss.
Dodo (35:52):
Oh, nice.
Nicole (35:53):
And that is such a nice gesture regardless.
Craig (35:55):
And I think that would be great.
I think you should do that.
Yeah.
You should sit the car and thencome gimme a kiss.
I like it.
Solid.
Okay, I'll work on it too.
I give a kiss.
Alright.
Maury (36:05):
Oh yeah.
Craig (36:07):
What are the keys to a long marriage?
Siggie (36:12):
Communication.
Craig (36:13):
Okay.
Dodo (36:14):
Deep love.
Craig (36:15):
Deep love.
What does that mean?
What is deep love?
Dodo (36:20):
Love can be like a card or I love you or whatever.
To me, deep love is somethingmore serious.
It's deep.
It's more than just surface.
I love you.
It's deep love.
Siggie (36:33):
I'll tell you what deep love is.
There are times when, like forour anniversary, Valentine's
Day, we'll go to CVS and try andfind a card.
We don't find a card.
Go and re-give one of the oldcards that we kept,
Maury (36:52):
Oh wow.
Siggie (36:53):
And put a new date on it and re-sign it.
And we give each other.
The same anniversary cards wegave 10 years ago.
Dodo (37:03):
Deep love.
Siggie (37:03):
That's deep love.
Craig (37:04):
Maury, a card in this family is real oh, the words in
a card and what is written arenot surface.
They are not fluff.
They are delivered from theheart.
So what they're saying is theycan't find the one this year
that says what they wanna say.
And they've already said itbefore, they would rather go
(37:25):
find those words again, whichthey have.
Maury (37:27):
I love that.
Craig (37:28):
And give it again.
Siggie (37:29):
Yeah, We do.
Maury (37:30):
I love that because again, I feel like there's so
much in our culture, there'sgotta be new, a new card, a new
gift, a new thing, a new likeyou're, instead of no, I meant
what I said the last time.
It's the same.
I just, that's awesome.
I love that.
My wife's gonna hate it, but Ilove it.
I'm kidding.
I'm like, listen, I did thispodcast and I'm just gonna keep
giving you last year's gift.
(37:50):
Is that cool?
Dodo (37:53):
It works.
Maury (37:53):
That's deep love.
Siggie said it.
Craig (37:55):
I always felt like watching the two of you, you
absolutely loved each other, butto me there is like just such an
obvious, like there is afriendship.
To me,
Siggie (38:06):
Yeah.
Craig (38:06):
I think a key to a long marriage.
Is you have to be very, goodfriends.
And, being good friends meansyour, boats are aimed in the
same direction.
You want the same stuff.
Like you guys don't seem to veertoo far away from each other in
terms of the journey of, a lifetogether.
And it's the reason why holdinghands and going to the movie,
(38:30):
you have always had a friendshipthat, that Nicole and I have.
And I've always just watchedthat.
Sometimes you want love affairsto be explosions in skyrockets.
But what I think I've alwaysseen are these really sweet
moments.
The kiss when you walk in and,like a deep, friendship.
And wanting to be with eachother.
True.
Do you agree with that?
Dodo (38:50):
Absolutely.
Siggie (38:50):
Absolutely.
Dodo (38:51):
Absolutely.
We didn't say it before, butfriendship for sure.
Nicole (38:54):
But the learning curve, I guess as a listener and
someone that was married before,
Craig (39:01):
Ah, second marriage.
Nicole (39:02):
And see this, I do observe and I do watch you guys
and I want to model thosethings, and I think that glue,
the exercise, the sticking inthere, the in the moment, when
you guys maybe start to bickersomething, a person's willing to
(39:22):
stop and not be right, I notice,instead of, oh, I'm getting my
point across.
Maybe we'll talk about thislater.
I watched these dynamics.
That I never saw before.
That makes, it seems, again,trying to model that makes this
work and being best friends.
I would never say these meanthings to my best friend.
(39:45):
I wouldn't be screaming at mybest friend.
I would say, I need a break orI'm upset.
And that's what I see you guysdoing.
Craig (39:52):
And also for sure my whole life.
You're not going up my mom, Sigwill stand up and defend.
There is a, an honor,
Maury (40:01):
Yeah.
Craig (40:02):
And a protection that you have never seen before and visa
versa.
My mom will not give up on him,nor will she, like she will let
you have your opinions aboutwhat if he's.
If he has an odd moment, but sheis not gonna leave her post as,
(40:22):
his protector as well.
Maury (40:24):
It's interesting to me cuz that's what I heard.
That is exactly what the two ofyou talked about when you
described the beginning of yourrelationship.
Dodo you, knew that he was theguy and you could see through
his stuff and, Siggie you talkedabout, she was my friend, I'd
set up on dates, that's changed,but then I would protect her.
You, had this and thosedynamics.
(40:44):
That's exactly what you justtalked about, Craig.
And then that's been there.
From the get go.
Craig (40:50):
Oh yeah.
Maury (40:50):
This embracing those real strengths.
Yeah.
Craig (40:52):
What are some other things that you guys do that you
think are, available toeverybody that might be special
in your marriage?
Dodo (41:00):
Two things.
One, even as I'm sitting righthere, I always like to be
touching him.
I will either be holding hishand or like right now I'm
sitting and putting my foot byhim.
I always like to be touchinghim, so at some deep level I
always like feeling that we'retogether.
It's a connection, like a kissbefore we leave or a kiss when
(41:23):
we come home.
Another thing that we do that'sreally important to me is that
if we have a doctor'sappointment ever, we have a
doctor's appointment and this,was even when we were both
working, we would try to figureout how to do it.
We would have us both go.
I'd go to the doctor, he'd comealong.
I wanted to have him there tohear what was happening.
(41:43):
I wanted another pair of earsthere.
I wanted not to have to worrythat maybe I missed something.
And I think Siggie felt the sameway.
He wanted to be sure that hedidn't mishearing something.
So we'd always go together, evenif it was something really
simple, just to be there tosupport each other and to know
that we both heard the sameinformation.
Maury (42:06):
How did you end up so screwed up, Craig?
I just don't get I'm like know,
Craig (42:10):
I know, it's weird, isn't it?
You would think.
Siggie (42:12):
He has the chutzpah to blame me that I passed it on in
jeans.
Craig (42:17):
I, realize how, lucky I am to have been raised under
this incredible marriage andincredible love affair.
I feel incredibly grateful andfortunate to have had this
modeled for me because the truthis, I did see it, I saw it every
day.
it's what I know in arelationship, we're always
trying to do our mini version ofwhat we see with Siggie and
(42:39):
Dodo.
Dad, Nicole and I, we have tolaugh because we play a game at
our house called"I Do MoreAround Here".
And"I Do More Around Here" is away that we can laugh off the
fact that we're keeping score.
And there are times when I feellike I'm doing more around here.
I'm emptying the, I have to goshopping, I'm cooking more, I'm
(43:01):
cleaning more, I do more aroundhere, I do more around here.
We had to come up with a gameearly to take the, steam out of
this one.
And we laugh about it called,Hey, do you wanna play?
I do more around here because weeach start feeling a resentment.
It's not fair.
I do more around here.
Do you and mom.
Play a game of, I do more aroundhere.
(43:23):
Do you guys play tit for tat?
Siggie (43:25):
As long as we have been married, we have never been in
competition with each other.
We've never kept score.
We have never, tit for tat or Igo to the market or why don't
you do it when I'm not home?
Or, the funny thing is sinceI've retired, we don't go to the
(43:49):
market unless we can do ittogether and we even enjoy going
to the market together and we goup and down every aisle whether
we need anything or anything.
And we enjoy shopping together.
Dodo (44:03):
So for me, some of the household duties, household
responsibilities would fall onone of us as opposed to the
other as it does I think in,every marriage.
And as Siggie said he used toleave early, he was never here
when I woke up in the morning.
I never saw him in the morning.
I never saw him till dinnertime.
What's happened since we've bothbeen home now, especially during
(44:25):
Covid, we've come up with thesecute things that we do.
One of them, and Siggie alwayshated making the bed, like if he
was ever home on the weekends,like making the bed was, and I
never understood like, why doyou hate making the bed?
It's like such a simple littlething to do.
He didn't wanna make the bed.
It was rang something fromchildhood, I don't even know.
Anyway, so now we make the bedevery day together.
(44:47):
We get out of bed, he goes, dowe have to make the bed?
Yes, we have to make the bed.
We make the bed every day.
And it's really funny and it'snothing to do it, it takes
exactly two minutes, but it'ssomething that we do together so
I don't have to run around thebed and make the bed because he
makes it with me.
Craig (45:03):
Why is that important?
Dodo (45:05):
Because it, it helps me.
It's it's, part of my, dailything is that I'm gonna make the
bed every day because I'm notsomebody that would ever leave
the bed unmade.
So I know I'm gonna do it, and Ilove the fact that he'll help me
do it.
And it, has become a routine.
It's the same thing, like withthe laundry.
Like I always did the laundrybecause I just always did the
laundry.
Now I do the laundry, I bring itin from the garage, I throw it
(45:28):
on the couch and we fold ittogether every single week.
So once a week we do the laundrytogether.
It's just nice.
It's just like an easy thing todo together.
Craig (45:38):
See, I think there's mastery in this.
I think that doing these thingstogether is part of the glue.
Would you agree with that?
Siggie (45:44):
Absolutely.
We, actually laugh about it.
In fact, the cutest thing whenwe do the laundry and we do The
sheets when we make our firstcrease and I bring my end to
her, we kiss and then we fold itand then I bring the other end
to her and we kiss and we dothat that's our folding routine.
Dodo (46:08):
I will say that, at dinner sometimes if I'm like in a
meeting or I'm doing somethingand Siggie will make a salad,
I'll always say to him, thankyou for making the salad.
I realize I don't have to saythank you, but I do.
I'll say thank you for makingthe salad.
Craig (46:23):
Oh, that's a big one.
So you, do you guys say thankyou to each other a lot?
Dodo (46:27):
Yes, Thank you for making salads.
Siggie (46:29):
Yes.
There will be times that.
Yes, I'll wake up cuz I getusually get up a lot earlier
than Doritt.
I'll get up and empty thedishwasher.
And every time she'll alwayssay, thanks for doing that.
Sometimes we'll both take alittle nap in the afternoon and
we like to eat around sixo'clock.
So while she's sleeping, I'llmake a salad.
(46:51):
I'll set the table and get stuffready.
So when she comes down, dinner'sbasically made and ready for
her, and she says, thank you fordoing it.
Dodo (47:02):
Yeah.
Craig (47:02):
And you don't feel pissed that she was taking a nap while
you were making dinner?
Siggie (47:06):
No, I'm making her happy.
I'm making myself happy, and wejust enjoy doing things for each
other.
Craig (47:14):
Amazing.
Are there any other things, anyother little routines that you
find, maybe they're quirks ofyour relationship but you, do
regularly?
Siggie (47:24):
Yeah.
We, have a cute routine everymorning.
I'm downstairs early, Dorittlets me know when she wakes up.
I get up, turn off the TV I goupstairs, get back in bed.
We always kiss and then we do ameditation together, and then we
play Wordle, and then we doWaffle, and then we plan our
(47:49):
meals, our lunch, and ourdinner.
This is our routine everymorning, and if there's
something we need and Doritt hasa Zoom meeting or something,
I'll say, do you want me to runto the market and get some
something or any,"No.
Wait till I'm finished and we'llgo together."
Craig (48:08):
Ladies and gentlemen, these are real people.
This is a real relationship.
I have watched it.
Ladies and gentlemen.
These are real human beings.
Nicole (48:17):
In terms of communication, what do you think
makes you special?
Dodo (48:22):
I think our love for each other is so deep that giving it
up is never an option.
It's not on the table.
It's always that we'll find away to work out anything.
There's nothing that we can'twork out and we will just
persevere.
Siggie (48:39):
And I go by the philosophy, a quitter never wins
and a winner never quits.
Craig (48:46):
Because I think in Nicole's question there are
people that talk about thedreaded D-Word, DIVORCE or they,
have conversations of, should westay together, should we not?
And what I hear you say is no,you guys have not spent much
time with that being an optionon the table when you talk.
Siggie (49:04):
We have never brought up the word divorce.
Dodo (49:07):
Long ago, when I was first in love with Siggie, I thought
about the fact when we finallygot together that if I hadn't
married him, if I hadn't beenwith him, I was in terror.
Really terror of the fact thatif I married somebody else and
if 20 years later I saw himsomewhere, that I would leave my
(49:29):
husband, leave my children to gobe with him, I couldn't resist
it.
And it scared me, the thought ofhow much I loved him and that
some kind of power, some kind ofconnection that I would throw my
life away to go be with him.
So it motivated me to stay withhim, to always know that we're
gonna work everything out,because he was like my destiny.
(49:51):
And I didn't want to ever,tamper with that, cuz that
scared me, that what would Iwould do to my life.
Craig (49:58):
Wow.
Nicole (49:59):
And what is being a best friend to you?
Siggie (50:01):
Acceptance, non-judgmental and not trying to
change.
Doritt, accepting her for whoand what she is.
Accepting me for who and what Iam, and giving each other the
opportunity to make the changesthat will compliment each other.
Dodo (50:24):
For sure.
Siggie is my best friend, and Ialso have another best friend, a
woman, best friend fromchildhood who's still my best
friend, but Siggie is my bestfriend because to me a best
friend is someone who you can beopen and honest with about
everything that you trust thatperson enough.
To be honest and open, and I'mnot like that with most people
(50:48):
in my life.
I'm not like such a open personwith people, but to my best
friends I am.
You have to like somebody inorder to love them I think?
Siggie (50:58):
Yes.
That's always been ourfoundation is we like and we
enjoy being together and sharingthe good and the bad, the happy
and the sad, but we always do ittogether.
Craig (51:15):
Maury I think we're in agreement that these two are,
marriage masters, right?
Maury (51:19):
Heck yes.
Craig (51:19):
Heck yes.
Maury (51:20):
Yes, We're gonna get t-shirts made for you guys.
Craig (51:24):
Siggie Dodo, my lovely wife, Nicole and Mr.
Sterling, thank you for awonderful episode.
Diamonds are forever.
Trulys are forever.
Diamonds are forever.
Maury (51:35):
Thank you both.
I just have to say thank you so,much.
What a treat.
What a real, what a real treat.
Dodo (51:40):
Thank you.
Siggie (51:41):
It's lovely seeing you too.
Maury (51:42):
Yeah, likewise.
Craig (51:44):
Thank you everybody for listening and we'll see you next
time.
We love you next time.
Bye-Bye bye.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.
Bye.
And now it's time for the"Wrapper-Upper".
Maury that's 14 parts.
Family therapy, eight partspersonal therapy, one part
podcast host, three tens husbandeight tens friend.
(52:04):
That is just a wild experiencethat,
Maury (52:06):
You're not a banker, are you?
Craig (52:07):
I'm not a banker.
You right.
That, that didn't add up.
That was super cool.
I felt like it was so cool.
Such a nice gift to give to myparents that they could sit in
being so wonderful at something.
It was so cool to sit andrealize they are really
wonderful at something that isnot easy to do.
Maury (52:26):
Mm-hmm.
Craig (52:26):
Learned some stuff.
Learned a lot of stuff.
I gotta tell you, I mean, Nicoleand I walked away from that
interview with a lot of verysimple, practical things, and
that is my wrapper upper, Ithink.
Like a lot of mastery.
The answer is not verycomplicated, but it's in the
(52:47):
action.
And when I realized that, andI've seen it my whole life, but
you know that my dad will walkin and give my mom a kiss and
that he'll give her a kiss onthe way out the door that they.
Don't kind of go to bed angry.
They, they talk.
When things come up, they do thelittle things well and
(53:08):
consistently and it's like weall know to do them, but we let
those little things slip and yousee a mastery in a marriage for
60 years and you realize, Theymake the little things look
easy.
They really do.
And they make them important.
The little things are important.
(53:29):
So, so Nicole and I have startedgiving a kiss when we walk in
and, and a kiss before we leave100 percents because of this
interview's.
So great thing.
You know what, that's animportant thing and we want to
do that.
Maury (53:43):
I love that.
Yeah.
No, it's how those littlethings, I mean, one of my
favorite quotes in life is, youknow, the way you do one thing
is the way you do everything.
And so those tiny little changescan make, can be such watershed
of moments of no matter what, Ichoose affection, no matter what
I choose.
Love.
Yeah.
I, I, there were so many, Imean, respect.
Your mom talking about how, youknow, what she loves about your
(54:04):
dad is he's always game.
Even if he doesn't want to, evenif she knows, like it's not his
thing, he'll stay.
Yeah, let's do it.
You know?
Which to me is there's just nofight.
There's no fight.
You know, Allie and I talkedabout what are the deal breakers
and your dad's, like when shedies, like that's the deal
breaker, but there's just no.
All the things, they just aren'thung up on all these things that
(54:25):
could be hung up.
And they had, you know, you, younever wanna force something that
shouldn't be, but they, and theygenuinely had a kind of love
from the get-go.
That was the connective tissuethat certainly helps make those
decisions.
There's a lot your dad said thatI really related to anger,
darkness you know,self-loathing, how he expressed
(54:47):
himself and felt about his life.
I don't think of myself as atough guy like your dad, but
there's more, there's a lot inthat I related to, and so he has
to make a decision when he walksin the door to put that down.
Whatever that is.
And in a way he talked about itsounded like some of it's still
there.
But he makes a decision when hewalks in the door, to choose
love, you know, these are thepeople who matter to me and so I
(55:10):
will be this way for them.
And I just think that's sopowerful.
And your, your mom is just,she's just awesome.
Craig (55:17):
Hang on, hang on.
Wrap her up or violation, right.
Coming in with, coming in with asecond one because I have this
one.
Oh, you, Nicole and I the titfor tat.
Oh yeah.
The fact that my parents do notplay tit for tat that they're
not scorekeeping actually blewmy mind.
I spend so much of my time.
(55:39):
Score keeping with Nicole.
Well, I did the dishes.
Are you going to take out thethis?
And I went shopping, are yougoing to do that?
And it's all, some like, likethey're scales and like they
have to be balanced with perfectlittle cubes of equal.
And then my parents are like,what?
I was like, so aren't you likeresentful when you have to go
shopping and cook?
And they're, they were lookingat us like, what are you talking
(56:01):
about?
They literally did notunderstand.
Yep.
The game of tit for tat.
Yep.
They just do stuff and that,seriously, that blew my mind.
Maury (56:10):
And that's one of those things I feel like there's so
many things in marriage andrelationships that we're told to
value and some of those makesense, but like the tit for tat
one, right.
Like for, for years I was like,well, yeah.
Yeah, that's how you should,like a marriage, a relationship
looks like this.
Like, and it matters that Ifight for this and I make sure,
you know, and that it alwaysbites me in the ass, by the way,
(56:33):
the minute I start doing that,
Craig (56:35):
Exactly.
Maury (56:35):
She's gonna say, well yeah, what about this one?
And I go, exactly.
That kind of stuff to actuallygive that stuff up?
And again, like, an abusivemarriage is an abusive marriage.
I don't think everyone shouldfind some magic just because
you're in a bad situation,you're in a bad situation.
Craig (56:49):
Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.
For sure.
Maury (56:51):
But that's a game changer.
Craig (56:53):
I mean they're definitely, the cool thing I've
had, and I said it is a frontrow seat.
To two people that have justalways really liked each other.
They've always really rooted foreach other.
Yep.
They didn't expect each other tobe perfect.
They knew each other'sweaknesses from the get go.
And still there's just this likeadoration and Yeah.
(57:13):
And like as my mom said, my momsaid it like a deep love, you
know, just these are two peoplethat deeply love each other and
they're okay with the otherperson not being perfect.
And they dig the journeytogether and they always have.
And it's inspiring and it, it'scool to know it's out there.
I feel like it rubbed off on meand Nicole.
Definitely.
Yeah.
And hopefully everybody outthere, you'll get a little bit
(57:36):
of Siggie and Dodo rubbing offon you in your life and in your
relationships.
But Maury, thanks for doing thisone with me.
This was an awesome, awesometrip.
Awesome.
And, and what a gift.
Uh, all the way around for myfamily.
Maury (57:49):
Yep.
Great to see them too.
Craig (57:50):
So, we'll see you next time on Everyday
Maury (57:54):
Masters.
There's a vase on my parents' dining room and here
they are Sigmund and Doritt.
Reading you what it says.
Dodo (00:09):
Doubt, that the stars are fire.
Siggie (00:12):
Doubt, that the sun does move.
Dodo (00:15):
Doubt, truth be a lie.
Siggie (00:18):
But never doubt, that I loved you.
Aw,
Intro Song (00:23):
Welcome to Everyday Masters, the show where we seek
to understand mastery.
People who have it, people whotry for it, people who struggle
with it, and how we all manifestit in our own lives.
Welcome to Everyday Masters.
Everyday Masters.
Everyday Masters.
Everyday.
Every, every day.
Master, every day.
Craig (00:48):
What's up Craig?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm great.
How are you?
It's nice to hear you cuz it's apodcast.
I can hear you, but I also seeyou with my eyeball.
No, it's we.
Maury (01:02):
Yeah it's a See I know, I understand.
It's a see or here?
It's both cuz we're doing theYouTubey thing
Craig (01:07):
too.
Yeah.
Okay.
So fine.
So then I'd like, it's nice tohear and see you.
I'd like to sear you.
Sear, and it's nice to sear you.
This week everybody.
Really a fascinating episode.
For obvious reasons.
We interviewed my parents,Sigmund and Doritt Diamond, and
I was going up to LA to see myparents to do the normal, like
(01:28):
check in with my parents who arein their early eighties now.
And my wife and I, Nicole, wereheading up there.
And then it occurred to me, Icalled Maury, I said, this year
my parents will be married for60 years.
60 years.
And Maury and I are newermarried guys and we talk a lot
about our marriages andrelationship and all the normal
(01:49):
stuff that friends talk about,and I thought.
Holy crap.
My parents have mastery in athing that we talk about a lot.
Wouldn't it be cool if we satdown and talked with Siggie and
Dodo, that's what we call'em,about marriage, about
relationship, about how the hellthey have done this and these
(02:09):
two love each other you're notgonna believe it.
End the coolest part.
Super added bonus.
My wife Nicole, sat in on theinterview.
So we all sat there, the four ofus with, and Maury was on the
computer and it was this supercool thing.
And I gotta tell you, it waswild.
It was like a, like a brainbender for me.
I was part kid, I was partinterviewer.
I was like, I.
(02:31):
Inside.
There were stories I heard therewere perspectives I hadn't
thought about.
I was thinking as a child, as ahusband, it was huge.
There was a huge emotionalhangover after the thing.
We talked about it all weekend.
Everybody was lit up.
And I learned a lot.
We all learned a lot by doingthis.
And my parents were just like,wow.
It never even occurred to themthat they had mastery.
(02:53):
So cool.
And the whole thing was justthis crazy ball of family
wonderfulness.
This is a, big one for me.
Maury (03:02):
It was so amazing to be a fly on the wall and watch the
dynamic and, really get a watchyou, Craig.
Take this more maybe objectiveseat and really ask them
questions.
It wasn't necessarily earthshaking, shattering kind of
stuff, but it was just to seeyou in like really talking to
them free from the emotionalstuff we all experience and
(03:23):
family dynamics have this.
Yeah, there's an objectivity onit and, to see Nicole do it too
and, clearly see the connectionbetween Nicole and your family.
It was great.
And, they really are perfect forthe show.
And how I, know envision theshow in the way is that's,
mastery.
It's just something they havedone for, these decades.
And I love how you said we'relike newly married.
Like I'm about to have my, Ithink ninth anniversary, Right,
(03:43):
and I'm at 10.
You're at 10, but compared to60.
Yeah.
We're maybe just figuring itout.
Right.
And that came, that made sensein a way also listening to them.
But I, was.
I just felt so lucky andgrateful to get to be there and
talk to them and, yeah, like Isaid, I think they were really,
they were perfect for what Ithought this show would be
(04:06):
something people who have donesomething that many of us talk
about and here are people whosay, yeah here's how it works
for us.
It, was awesome.
Craig (04:15):
Yeah, get ready for the Diamonds, Siggie and Dodo on,
Siggie and Dodo this week'sepisode of Everyday Masters.
I think we could do a half hourchit chat.
We should get going.
Siggie (04:31):
Okay.
My God, you said this isn't aprofessional performance.
Maury (04:35):
I love you both and most of the time I love your child,
but occasionally he's just...
Siggie (04:39):
I mean...
Nicole (04:40):
Very bossy.
Craig (04:40):
Look.
Look
Maury (04:41):
Bossy!
Siggie (04:42):
Oh, God.
Nicole (04:44):
Just trying to do a whole follow up.
Siggie (04:45):
I haven't seen the guy in years.
Maury (04:48):
Yeah.
Craig (04:49):
Do you guys wanna finish about Barbie?
Siggie (04:51):
No, I don't wanna talk to him.
Craig (04:52):
Finish about Barbie.
Maury (04:53):
No, I'm with Sig, I'm not talking anymore.
Siggie (04:55):
I'm finish
Craig (04:56):
Finish about fucking Barbie.
Siggie (04:57):
Just ask your stupid questions.
Maury (04:58):
Let's start.
Are you recording this?
And the answer is yes.
Craig (05:08):
Welcome you guys.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Maury (05:12):
I'm so excited.
Siggie (05:13):
Yeah.
Craig (05:14):
For the listeners I'm sitting in what do we call this
room?
Dining room.
Dining room.
That's right.
The reason I don't know the nameof the dining room.
This is my childhood home.
I'm with my parents, Sigmundand,
Siggie (05:26):
Hi!
Craig (05:26):
Doritt, and my lovely wife Nicole.
We call'em Siggie and Dodo.
Maury, you can decide what youwanna call my folks.
And we're in the dining room ofthe home where I grew up in
Woodland Hills, California.
Coolest part about this room,Maury.
years ago, there would be a drumset right in where we were
sitting, in this room.
No.
I used to rock out to heavymetal with the drum set right
here.
(05:46):
That's how cool these parentsare.
Maury (05:49):
And for those of you who are listening one day, we'll we
will put up in the archives,we'll show you some of what
Craig looked like at that age.
Cause his hair so great.
It's so that's why you couldn'tfigure out how to call it a d
most people know how to call adining room, a dining room.
But you didn't know because,
Craig (06:03):
Drum room.
Maury (06:04):
Cuz it was the drum room.
Craig (06:05):
That's right.
I know this is the drum room.
Maury (06:07):
You're good parents.
Dodo (06:09):
Thank you.
Craig (06:09):
Siggie and Dodo, we are so excited to have you here.
Can you tell us on July 4th ofthis year, What special event
will occur?
Dodo (06:19):
It will be our 60th wedding anniversary.
Maury (06:23):
Wow!
Dodo (06:23):
60 years on the 4th.
Craig (06:24):
60 years.
Maury (06:25):
Wow.
Siggie (06:28):
And we have known each other since we were 13 years
old.
We met each other in juniorhigh.
Craig (06:35):
So our masters today, we think we have masters of
marriage, masters of therelationship.
Maury (06:41):
My first question was, did you know at 13 when you met,
did you know then?
Dodo (06:47):
My story is I was sitting in a bungalow at Louis Pasture
Junior High School, looking outof the window, and I saw this
really cute boy outside thewindow, and I said to the girl
next to me, who is that?
Maury (07:01):
Wow.
Dodo (07:02):
And she said, oh, that's Siggie Diamond.
He's really cute, but he'strouble.
Stay away.
Craig (07:07):
Uhhuh.
Dodo (07:08):
That was trouble.
First moment, eighth grade.
First moment Uhhuh.
So did I know.
I knew.
Maury (07:14):
You knew.
Dodo (07:14):
Did he know?
No.
Craig (07:16):
All right.
Sig, did you know Sig?
Siggie (07:17):
No.
You didn't know?
I, didn't know Doritt at all.
It took, I don't remember howlong.
But, and then even when I mether for the first time, she was
nice, but I was after more wildtype woman.
She didn't fit into that moldright away.
Later on we became friends, butI only looked at Doritt as a
(07:41):
sister.
I was very protective, and Iwould fix her up on dates, and
then I would threaten the guy.
If he tried anything, then Iwould break an arm or dislocate
his kneecap.
But I would always fix her up ondates, never thinking that I
wanted to go out with her, orshe even cared about me.
Craig (08:03):
Let's do the timeline because Maury there's a big
surprise for you in this story.
Walk us through the timeline ofthe major milestones that get
us.
To 60 years of marriage.
Dodo (08:14):
For the quick overview.
I was crazy about him from thefirst minute and he did not know
I existed.
He then became my friend.
Craig (08:21):
This is high school?
Siggie (08:22):
The end of junior high, beginning high school.
Craig (08:24):
Okay.
Dodo (08:25):
So he became a friend.
I went out with his friends.
I always liked him.
He didn't like me.
I was a nice girl.
He didn't you, he was not veryinterested.
So he had a very seriousgirlfriend in high school and
when we graduated from highschool, he was still going with
this other girl, not me, butthey broke up for a minute and
he actually called me and wewent out on a date after we
(08:46):
graduated from high school.
And of course I was veryexcited, very happy.
It lasted like a few minutes.
He then went into the CoastGuard, came back from the Coast
Guard, and again, this othergirl was not available for the
moment.
So he called me again for amoment and we had some dates and
I thought this was, it wasreally happening.
However, What I didn't know ishe was still seeing her.
Maury (09:09):
Oh.
Dodo (09:09):
And we had a date planned for New Year's Eve.
He calls me, he cancels a datefor New Year's Eve and on that
day he gets engaged.
He then, oh, okay.
Married her.
Craig (09:24):
He married her.
Dodo (09:26):
I was not invited to the wedding.
Everybody I knew went to thewedding except me.
It was really a horribleexperience.
Siggie (09:33):
Well, but wait tell them.
Dodo (09:34):
No, this is my story.
Get to tell later.
So he got married, five, 500people at the Beverly Hills
Hotel.
Maury (09:44):
Wow.
Dodo (09:45):
They got married during the time that he was married.
I, of course was very depressedand at a few weddings that I
went to, cuz we all were part ofthe same friend group.
I saw him and at one of theseweddings, I was sitting eating
my dinner and I looked up and Isaw he was staring at me across
the room.
I have to understand, he's nowmarried.
I haven't talked to him at allfor two years.
(10:07):
He's looking at me.
He then goes to my friend Lindaand tells her that he's leaving
his wife and that he reallywants to be with me.
She starts crying.
She drags me into the bathroomat this wedding and says, he
won't believe this Siggie'sleaving her and he wants to
marry you.
I went, this is never gonnahappen.
Craig (10:24):
How old are you at this point?
Dodo (10:26):
21 maybe.
Craig (10:28):
21.
Dodo (10:28):
Maybe 20.
Maury (10:29):
Wow.
Dodo (10:30):
Okay.
Maybe 20.
Nicole (10:30):
Wait, how long were they married for?
Dodo (10:32):
Six months.
So he hasn't left yet.
So then I get a phone call froma friend of mine.
It was an artist.
I have an art project I wannashow you.
Is it okay?
I go to his house and as I'mlooking at this project, the
phone rings.
And he says to me, would you getthe phone?
The phone is next to him, likeright here by his hand.
He said, would you get thephone?
I'm like, over there.
I said, why You could get it?
(10:52):
He said, no.
Would you get it?
I pick up the phone, hello?
It's Siggie on the phone.
Siggie says, I have to see you.
What are you talking about?
He says, I'm coming over.
He comes over I, he walks in thedoor.
I look at him.
I see that he's not wearing hiswedding ring.
And he says, I've left her.
I said, I don't believe you.
We go for a big walk, come backand he says I'm done.
(11:15):
I, made a really big mistake.
Not only had he married the girlthat he loved, but he was
working for her father.
Let me tell you how complicatedthis was.
So anyway, a long story short,we started seeing each other.
I could never tell my parents Iwas seeing him because of course
they hated him cuz he haddropped me on my head and gotten
married.
So his friends came and pickedme up and dropped me off on the
(11:37):
corner and he would pick me upon the corner.
We would go out.
Craig (11:40):
His friends, everybody was really concerned at this
point.
Like you were like, should Igive him another shot?
Dodo (11:48):
They were all saying,
Craig (11:49):
And what was everybody saying?
Dodo (11:50):
Don't he'll go back to her.
And you're like, ridiculous.
You shouldn't do it.
But did I listen?
No, because I've loved him somuch, I couldn't stand it.
This went on for a few years.
I finally told my parents that Iwas seeing him, that I wanted to
get married.
They were not in favor of it,but we did get married on the
4th of July, 1963.
Maury (12:10):
Hold on.
Siggie (12:11):
I'm even exhausted.
Craig (12:12):
Yeah.
Maury (12:13):
Before you go any further, I just wanna make one
comment cuz this is a show aboutlooking for elements of mastery
in our lives and how we do thesethings that we all struggle
with.
So what I can see, for those ofyou who are just listening, you
can't see it if you, when yougo, when we have a YouTube
channel and you do see it, whatI think is amazing right now is
both the couples in front of me,I think they're both holding
each other's hands,
Siggie (12:33):
Right.
Maury (12:34):
and I think that's really interesting.
Okay.
Just make that observation.
Craig (12:38):
Dad, did you have any, beats in there you wanted to
add?
Siggie (12:41):
When Doritt and I started as friends, she was a
confidant.
I was going through a very, darkperiod in my personal life.
And we would go out for coffee,go to the beach and sit and
talk, and I could always talk toher.
So I never looked at her inother than a real friend.
(13:06):
As far as getting married, yeah,it was annulled I was only
married six months.
The irony was for me, when Idecided that I had to get out of
that marriage, father and I werealone together at his house, and
he had a major heart attack anddied my arms.
Maury (13:25):
Oh my God.
Siggie (13:25):
And I couldn't save him or do anything.
I knew then that I was in anunhealthy relationship.
And my go-to person was Doritt,always.
And that's when I really knewwho and what I had already.
Craig (13:42):
And you've told me that you realized you actually were
like in love with the father.
This father, he really lovedthis man actually.
Siggie (13:51):
The family.
Craig (13:52):
He loved the family.
And when the father died, his,he realized what he was left
with.
Is that right?
Siggie (13:58):
Yeah.
My whole family died.
At that time when I met Dorittat our friend's house and talked
to her, I knew I had a hard roadto her to convince her.
I knew her parents never likedme.
So it was a question of buildingsome trust.
I knew it was going to take sometime.
Maury (14:20):
Sure.
Siggie (14:21):
And that's really what we started with.
So we started at a very earlytime in our relationship to
build trust and very opencommunication.
Which has always been ourbackbone.
We come from two differentreally different.
Backgrounds, family dynamicswere from one end to the other.
Craig (14:46):
In a nutshell what, were the different dynamics?
Siggie (14:48):
I came from a very, abusive background, being an
only child.
Andor came from an adored,loving, caring family.
Dodo (14:59):
Being an only child.
Siggie (14:59):
Being an only child.
Craig (15:01):
Two only children by the way, also interesting.
Siggie (15:03):
Doritt had the misfortune of knowing my parents
and actually seeing andunderstanding what I was dealing
with or what I had gone through,and I have seen her lifestyle,
but never up close because herparents, believe it or not,
(15:24):
really didn't let us in thehouse.
They just really could not ever,forgive me.
Craig (15:29):
The lovely and talented, Nicole, now.
Nicole (15:31):
Keywords, I'm hearing best friends.
And you can't listen to anybodybut yourselves when you're
falling in love.
Dodo (15:38):
It's true.
Except along the way here,because all of my friends, even
his friends,
Siggie (15:43):
Yeah.
Dodo (15:44):
Did not support us getting together.
They didn't trust it.
Nobody.
Nobody trusted it.
Nicole (15:47):
Or your parents?
Dodo (15:48):
My parents for sure.
But even friends said he's gonnago back to her.
This isn't gonna happen.
So I went to therapy.
I was going to UCLA at the time,and I went for therapy for six
months there at my last visit,the therapist, Dr.
Ingham, I remember said, youknow what?
You're strong enough to handlethis.
Go for it.
And I thought, wow.
Because I was sure he was gonnasay, this is a mistake.
(16:10):
He didn't.
Craig (16:10):
So in light of the fact that you guys had a tricky
start.
Of the friends that they have.
It is safe to say that all theseother people with whatever, how
else they fell in love.
Was it safe to say that 90% ofthem are now divorced?
Dodo (16:22):
Correct.
Siggie (16:23):
And remarried.
Craig (16:25):
And remarried.
Okay.
Maury (16:26):
Sig just got it outta the way early.
Craig (16:28):
Here's my question.
As you roll into 60 years,people are different in their
teens, twenties, thirties,forties, fifties, sixties,
seventies, eighties.
People change.
To me it makes sense that peoplewould break up.
It does.
Cuz I think people, their livesgrow in different directions.
What has kept you guys togetherfor 60 years when literally
(16:52):
everyone around you broke up?
Dodo (16:53):
My answer is, I just adored him.
I just loved him and adored himand I knew he loved and adored
me, so no matter what happened,That was the core of our
marriage.
And he's a person who can seemvery nice right now, but he's a
tough guy.
He can be not nice and notfriendly and all this.
(17:14):
And people would say to me, howdo you put up with this?
And I would say, I don't care.
I just love, I just,
Craig (17:19):
I don't know who they're talking about Dad.
Dodo (17:21):
I just love him.
So I just love him and I lovedhim.
And that's what was the answer.
Craig (17:26):
What about for you?
What has kept you together wheneverybody else has broken up?
Siggie (17:30):
I swore to her that I would never lie to her or ever
cheat again.
That we would always be bestfriends and we are best friends.
We had absolutely no problem.
As soon as Covid hit, we had somuch fun just being together in
(17:52):
the house.
We developed a certain littleroutine in the morning and in
the afternoon we planned ourmeals.
We cook together.
We just enjoy and laugh and havefun together.
I think it's an attitude.
Nicole (18:10):
Are there any deal breakers?
Dodo (18:12):
Deal breaker meaning what?
Nicole (18:14):
That it would end this amazing 60 years.
Siggie (18:18):
Anything that I could not forgive her for, right?
Whatever, that I would honestlyhave to say there probably is
nothing that she could ever door say that we could not work
out or repair because of thetype of communication we have
built and the relationship thatwe have of honesty.
Nicole (18:41):
When it comes to the big times where things aren't rosy,
things aren't great, things arescary, you don't agree, what do
you do?
Dodo (18:50):
Talk about it.
Siggie (18:50):
We talk about it.
We,
Dodo (18:52):
Communication is a key.
Siggie (18:54):
Absolutely.
Dodo (18:55):
Marriage, we talked about everything.
Siggie (18:56):
We've had a saying between us as a lot of people
I'm sure have heard.
There's three sides to everystory, and we have learned if we
make a mistake, we own it.
Either apologize or deal withthe feeling of why you might
have said something that hurther feelings or embarrassed her
because I must be honest, thereare times I have embarrassed
(19:20):
her.
Craig (19:21):
You!?
Siggie (19:21):
Yeah, I,
Craig (19:22):
Oh my God.
Siggie (19:23):
Look, I've been known to make a couple of mistakes,
Craig (19:26):
Really?
Siggie (19:26):
But I do own up to it.
I don't try to get out of it,but it helps me to become a
better person by getting it.
Taken care of right away and notwaiting six months or two days
or three days.
It's taken care of within a day.
Maury (19:44):
Siggie and Dodo.
How did you feel when yourdarling son Craig asked you to
be on a show about mastery?
Dodo (19:51):
I was so excited.
I was honored.
I was honored, and I thought, ohmy God, am I a master of this?
Huh?
I didn't even ever think aboutit, but it was a big honor.
Siggie (20:03):
I, was nervous.
Okay.
As, as, much as I'll talk, Idon't like really having the
limelight on me.
Sure.
I'm not that kind of a person.
Craig (20:15):
I'm so happy to share these two with the world and,
Nicole and I talk about them alot.
It is an incredible thing tohave two parents that, that love
each other, that like eachother, that want to be around
each other, that are rooting foreach other.
In light of all the differentkinds of relationships we bump
into in the world it, is reallywonderful.
And I just wanted to ask each ofyou, mom, what is your favorite
(20:40):
thing about Siggie?
Dodo (20:41):
I think my favorite thing about Siggie is that he's
probably always game foranything.
He's got a very open attitude tothings.
He doesn't like to do everythingthat I like to do.
I may not like to do everythinghe likes to do, but he's always
open.
Craig (20:58):
And the same question for you.
What is your favorite thingabout your heat?
By the way he calls her hisFlower about your beloved.
I know, it's crazy.
It's true.
This is a real relationship,ladies and gentlemen.
It's really true.
What is your favorite thingabout your Flower?
Siggie (21:14):
I love the fact, which I call her Tinkerbell.
She has an outlook on life thatI wished be honest with all
these years together.
That I would have her attitude.
She never finds fault or seesbad in people where I grew up
(21:38):
quite the opposite, to be veryhonest.
Okay.
I was a very angry, violentperson, but she always has the
bright side of life.
Maury (21:50):
Another question we like to ask in terms of talking to
people about their field ofmastery is, can anyone be a
master?
And the way I'm hearing it todayin terms of marriage is can you
have a successful marriage if itdoesn't have, cuz the way both
of you were talking about it isyou knew there was something you
knew that love that you bothfelt once you found it.
(22:12):
Once Siggie wised up and knewwhat was really going on, he got
his proverbial crap straight.
Once he got through that thing.
We have to get through to findthat.
Can you create that?
Can you develop that?
Or do you have to have that fromthe beginning?
Siggie (22:26):
To be able to accept Doritt's, strengths, and to know
my weaknesses.
I have left my ego when it comesto Doritt and myself outside.
I respect her strengths as sherespects my strengths.
(22:46):
And vice versa.
We, play off of each other thatway.
Which has been a very, importantlesson for me.
Men don't ask for directions orbig boys don't cry.
That's never been an issuebetween the two of us.
Dodo (23:05):
So somehow I felt that for me marriage was, gonna be a
lifetime commitment and that'swhat I wanted.
And because I loved him so much,from the time I was a little
girl, it just seemed like it wasa fatal complete.
This was my guy, this is what Iwas gonna do.
And I knew what my mother said.
That a marriage is work.
Maury (23:23):
So that's interesting.
You knew that the work, youweren't just assuming because I
love him and I have thesefeelings, it's gonna be a dance
in the park.
That's right.
You had a sense,
Dodo (23:31):
I knew it was,
Maury (23:31):
because that's certainly been cuz you hear people say
that, but then in my experience,when you actually hit the work
spot,
Dodo (23:38):
Yeah.
Maury (23:39):
You don't wanna do it.
Dodo (23:40):
That's right.
You hear it.
But when you actually have to dowhat the work actually is,
right?
No, I'm not doing that.
I'm out.
Craig (23:48):
Can I ask that question though?
Nicole and I have talked aboutthis a lot.
The relationships are workthing.
Dodo (23:54):
Yes.
Craig (23:55):
I, have a different spin on this one guy spin, and I
think Nicole and I bond on this.
I think my relationship withNicole is pretty easy.
I think when you strip away thestressors of life, money, kids
work, stuff like that, she and Iare great friends.
Being with her is great.
It's easy.
We, like to do the same stuff.
(24:15):
I don't like the phrase"Relationships are work".
I think life is work.
I think the stuff around arelationship requires work.
But the being in love withNicole and being with Nicole in
my life is pretty damn easy forme.
Dodo (24:31):
Becase neither of you is a problem personality, neither of
you.
Craig (24:36):
Thank you.
I've been saying that for a longtime.
Siggie (24:39):
I came with a lot of baggage.
Dodo (24:40):
Siggie a tough guy.
He's a package.
He's a,
Craig (24:44):
Hang on.
Nicole's coming in,.
Maury (24:46):
It's getting good folks.
Nicole (24:48):
I think that there is work always to be done,
Siggie (24:52):
No question.
Nicole (24:52):
And that Craig and I have a deal that if any of us
call it that we have to go totherapy.
If something gets to a pointthat we can't meet eye and eye,
we both agree no matter how badit is, how bad we want.
We'll go.
No questions asked.
We are never allowed to saydivorce word.
Think it, walk it, talk it.
(25:12):
You're not allowed.
And individually, we work veryhard on ourselves.
So life is gonna be in session,mean work, kids, money moving,
everything you can think of.
But we both separately work veryhard on ourselves.
So when things get tough, wehave people, professionals to
help guide us, meet in themiddle.
Siggie (25:33):
It, took me a long time to get help other than Doritt,
and because I really came to ourmarriage.
With a lot of trauma andbaggage.
It was her strength andunderstanding that helped me to
be where I am today.
Dodo (25:55):
Sweet.
Craig (25:57):
Oh, they're kissing.
Maury (25:59):
Yeah.
It's amazing.
Siggie (25:59):
People used to say, I'd either be in jail or dead if it
wasn't really for Doritt.
And I thank her all the time forhaving her little Tinkerbell
personality and herunderstanding of what I went
through.
And it has not been easy.
Craig (26:17):
As your child, I don't wanna know this, but I do wanna
know this, was there ever a timealong the way where you guys got
close where you thought, we'renot gonna make it?
Siggie (26:25):
Yes.
Craig (26:25):
Whoa.
That was quick.
Siggie (26:27):
Once.
Craig (26:28):
What was it?
Siggie (26:28):
I can remember as if it was yesterday.
Our first son was, I don't know,six months a year old.
I was still jumping around fromjob to job, and I came home one
day and Doritt looked at me andshe says, I cannot take this
anymore, of the instability ofme not working full-time or
(26:53):
lying about getting fired orwhatever.
We sat down and we talked aboutit, and I said to her, at that
time, I give you my word, I willnever be out of a job again and
not support my family.
Maury (27:12):
Wow.
Siggie (27:12):
As Craig knows, I worked in my first profession 37 years,
hating every day that I went towork.
Maury (27:22):
Wow.
Siggie (27:23):
I was successful, but I hated the job every day.
As you, you do know, but I neverbroke my promise to Doritt.
Craig (27:32):
For all us young bucks out there that are wanting to
learn from the masters.
When you look around, you'veseen a lot of marriages bust up
over the years.
What's a similarity between alot of broken marriages?
Is there one common thing thathappens that we all should be on
the lookout for?
Dodo (27:50):
That's a good question.
At one point in our lives, wewere sitting around the dinner
table in the room right nextdoor, and Craig Diamond said,
how come you guys aren't gettingdivorced?
What do you mean, why aren't wegetting divorced?
Because every single person heknew the other of our friends,
all of our friends were gettingdivorced.
(28:10):
So why aren't you gettingdivorced?
I said we don't wanna getdivorced.
We love each other.
He couldn't understand it.
Exactly.
I don't know if you rememberthat.
It was like why are you, so Ithink that what, I've seen with
all the divorces and all ofthem, and there's a lot of them,
is that in every case there wassome kind of abuse, either
(28:33):
emotional or physical or verbal.
There was some kind of abuse inalmost every case that
ultimately the woman couldn'tput up with anyone.
Craig (28:43):
Ah typically, came from the man and the woman couldn't
take it anymore.
Just was, is that the commonone?
Dodo (28:49):
Yeah, and the and of my friends.
Of my friends.
That was typically what it was.
Siggie (28:55):
And most of the men were cheating on the wives.
Craig (28:58):
So infidelity the most common thing.
It was a, or you're saying it'sany kind of abuse.
Siggie (29:03):
Yeah.
Craig (29:04):
That could be a,
Siggie (29:05):
Exactly.
Craig (29:06):
Any abuse.
Siggie (29:06):
Yeah.
Maury (29:07):
So, don't, don't marry a man is what I'm hearing.
Just don't,
Siggie (29:10):
Yeah.
Maury (29:10):
don't marry a man.
Yeah.
I remember divorce hitting mytown like, a virus.
It was, yeah.
It was post seventies andeverybody had made a, coming out
of the fifties and sixties withall kinds of rules of behavior
and how it was supposed to be inthe seventies hit and everybody
started experimenting and itjust, it all fell apart.
Craig (29:26):
Can I ask you guys, Nicole and Maury, like your,
both of your parents weredivorced.
What's it like sitting withthese rock stars in light of
your own experiences andwhatever fallout comes from
being a child of divorce?
I always felt like.
I the coolest parents ever thatalways loved each other.
(29:47):
I never needed to worry aboutthat thing in my life.
Nicole (29:50):
For me, I might do this backwards.
What I noticed, the biggestdifference that I've never seen
is exactly what you see even inthis podcast.
What I tell people, give you anexample.
Last night.
So we're all tired, we're goingto bed.
Siggie's heading upstairs, it's10:30, it's time for bed.
Doritt's not tired.
(30:11):
He's tired.
I see him turn around on hisheels cuz she's not ready to go
to bed, and he comes downstairsto hang out with her.
There's these little momentsthat I look in awe, I just
didn't see that.
And they're holding hands theyreally, watch out for each other
in these moments that easily Icould miss and I didn't see
(30:34):
that.
So in my.
Life.
It was survival of the fittest.
You take care of yourself firstand whatever's left is for
everybody else.
And ultimately that didn't work.
And I think getting that fromsomeone that saw this, took a
while to get used to.
Craig (30:52):
By the way, last night also, my dad came in from being
out.
The three of us were there.
He, of course, we haven't seeneach other in a while.
Big, hug and kiss from me.
Big hug and kiss for Nicole.
And then my mom's overrelationship.
Me, too Me too.
But after 60 years, she doesn'tcare if she's third.
She's getting her hugging herkiss as well.
(31:13):
And that's an important thingwhen he walks in the door.
Still to this day, that's huge.
Maury (31:17):
No, it's huge.
I know.
Dodo (31:18):
That's the glue.
Maury (31:19):
That's the glue.
Siggie (31:20):
It didn't come naturally.
I had to learn how to besensitive to other people's
feelings.
Because of my background andtrying to be a survivor, I had
to learn which people might notunderstand how to be warm and
(31:42):
sensitive and have empathy andsympathy and not just be a hard
stone cold person, I make it apoint, I really have to think
about it when I get outta mycar.
All kidding aside, when I comein the house to find, Doritt and
walk up and give her a kiss andsay hello when the kids are
(32:05):
here, I make it a point.
Because Nicole,
Craig (32:07):
So it's a bullshit hug and kiss for me.
When you, when you walk in,you're saying it's all a train
Siggie (32:13):
except for me and Nicole.
Craig (32:14):
Oh, okay.
Got it.
Maury (32:15):
That's what I'm hearing, that I'm not hearing that.
Craig (32:17):
Other ones you gotta work at.
Maury (32:18):
I'm hearing a couple legit ones and then one gotta...
nah.
Siggie (32:21):
Yeah, this is an afterthought, but I run from
Nicole first.
Craig (32:25):
Smart, smart.
Maury (32:27):
Yeah.
To answer your question, interms of my parents I think they
came together for the time theywere together.
My sister and I got created andthey were not meant to be
together.
What, changed my life in thelast three years?
Because I think of myself as apretty nice guy.
But my nice kindness is oftennot, I don't know if it's
actually really real.
It's my, you were a tough guy.
I'm like, nice guy.
(32:47):
I think some people might hearwhat you were choosing to do,
Siggie as that doesn't soundvery romantic, but I think one
of the biggest epiphanies reallyin my life that happened in the
last couple years, truly was youcan't love someone until you
love yourself.
How many times you read that ona card?
Finally it hit me.
And I'm middle aged.
What came from that waslearning.
(33:08):
I, was given an exercise, whichis to write five things I love
about myself and five things Ilove about my wife every day for
10 days.
And I can't repeat.
And what was interesting was dayfour I woke up and I was like, I
don't like myself very muchtoday.
And frankly I don't like hervery much today.
So to have to choose it, to haveto find something, what opened
(33:31):
up was one, like you're saying,you gotta get outta the car and
make the choice.
The things that all of a suddendrove me crazy were the things I
started to love that reallychanged everything.
Cuz I think we all have an idea.
I had an idea of what it'ssupposed to look like.
Love is supposed to look likethis, but part of it I'm hearing
is the choice that today I'mgonna buck off all my nonsense.
(33:55):
And I'm gonna walk in there.
I'm gonna show them despite thisis who I love and this is where
I am.
And I just think that's soimportant to hear because I
think part of where I've gottenin trouble is if it's not like
this all the time, then screwit.
Instead of, no, you gottasometimes just make that choice
to be, I just, I'm hearing a lotof you guys saying respect,
(34:17):
respecting each other.
Siggie (34:19):
When I come home from driving an hour on the freeway
and I'm exhausted.
And I know going up and findingmy wife in the office and giving
her a kiss hello.
And asking her that makes mehappy.
And it makes her happy.
Craig (34:37):
By the way, real quick.
This is also amazing.
Mom, are you happy today?
Dodo (34:40):
Very!
Craig (34:41):
Sig, are you happy today?
Siggie (34:42):
The happiest I've ever been.
Craig (34:44):
These two are so happy and so in love at 60.
It is the most inspiring thingof all time.
just gotta tell you.
Okay,
Dodo (34:53):
Thank you.
Craig (34:54):
Did you have something?
Nicole (34:54):
The recapper, cuz you know I love and my head is
spinning too, Maury, of thetakeaway that I even like you
Sig.
I didn't grow up with that and Iwas the survivor.
Then I met who came from youaffectionate and present and
loving and holding hand and Iwas like, whoa, what are we
(35:15):
doing here?
And I love it, but it isdefinitely not what I saw and
what I came from.
So it is something that can belearned.
But like you said, and I needto, even hearing this, that
exercise to remember I'll comein.
It's been a hard day.
I'm tired, I'm grumpy, I'mstarving.
(35:35):
I'm in my own head.
And to pause and sit in the car,the takeaway, the glue, we're
pretty good at it.
We could be better.
I could be better, is to pause,shake that off.
Give myself a moment, come lookfor my husband and give him a
kiss.
Dodo (35:52):
Oh, nice.
Nicole (35:53):
And that is such a nice gesture regardless.
Craig (35:55):
And I think that would be great.
I think you should do that.
Yeah.
You should sit the car and thencome gimme a kiss.
I like it.
Solid.
Okay, I'll work on it too.
I give a kiss.
Alright.
Maury (36:05):
Oh yeah.
Craig (36:07):
What are the keys to a long marriage?
Siggie (36:12):
Communication.
Craig (36:13):
Okay.
Dodo (36:14):
Deep love.
Craig (36:15):
Deep love.
What does that mean?
What is deep love?
Dodo (36:20):
Love can be like a card or I love you or whatever.
To me, deep love is somethingmore serious.
It's deep.
It's more than just surface.
I love you.
It's deep love.
Siggie (36:33):
I'll tell you what deep love is.
There are times when, like forour anniversary, Valentine's
Day, we'll go to CVS and try andfind a card.
We don't find a card.
Go and re-give one of the oldcards that we kept,
Maury (36:52):
Oh wow.
Siggie (36:53):
And put a new date on it and re-sign it.
And we give each other.
The same anniversary cards wegave 10 years ago.
Dodo (37:03):
Deep love.
Siggie (37:03):
That's deep love.
Craig (37:04):
Maury, a card in this family is real oh, the words in
a card and what is written arenot surface.
They are not fluff.
They are delivered from theheart.
So what they're saying is theycan't find the one this year
that says what they wanna say.
And they've already said itbefore, they would rather go
(37:25):
find those words again, whichthey have.
Maury (37:27):
I love that.
Craig (37:28):
And give it again.
Siggie (37:29):
Yeah, We do.
Maury (37:30):
I love that because again, I feel like there's so
much in our culture, there'sgotta be new, a new card, a new
gift, a new thing, a new likeyou're, instead of no, I meant
what I said the last time.
It's the same.
I just, that's awesome.
I love that.
My wife's gonna hate it, but Ilove it.
I'm kidding.
I'm like, listen, I did thispodcast and I'm just gonna keep
giving you last year's gift.
(37:50):
Is that cool?
Dodo (37:53):
It works.
Maury (37:53):
That's deep love.
Siggie said it.
Craig (37:55):
I always felt like watching the two of you, you
absolutely loved each other, butto me there is like just such an
obvious, like there is afriendship.
To me,
Siggie (38:06):
Yeah.
Craig (38:06):
I think a key to a long marriage.
Is you have to be very, goodfriends.
And, being good friends meansyour, boats are aimed in the
same direction.
You want the same stuff.
Like you guys don't seem to veertoo far away from each other in
terms of the journey of, a lifetogether.
And it's the reason why holdinghands and going to the movie,
(38:30):
you have always had a friendshipthat, that Nicole and I have.
And I've always just watchedthat.
Sometimes you want love affairsto be explosions in skyrockets.
But what I think I've alwaysseen are these really sweet
moments.
The kiss when you walk in and,like a deep, friendship.
And wanting to be with eachother.
True.
Do you agree with that?
Dodo (38:50):
Absolutely.
Siggie (38:50):
Absolutely.
Dodo (38:51):
Absolutely.
We didn't say it before, butfriendship for sure.
Nicole (38:54):
But the learning curve, I guess as a listener and
someone that was married before,
Craig (39:01):
Ah, second marriage.
Nicole (39:02):
And see this, I do observe and I do watch you guys
and I want to model thosethings, and I think that glue,
the exercise, the sticking inthere, the in the moment, when
you guys maybe start to bickersomething, a person's willing to
(39:22):
stop and not be right, I notice,instead of, oh, I'm getting my
point across.
Maybe we'll talk about thislater.
I watched these dynamics.
That I never saw before.
That makes, it seems, again,trying to model that makes this
work and being best friends.
I would never say these meanthings to my best friend.
(39:45):
I wouldn't be screaming at mybest friend.
I would say, I need a break orI'm upset.
And that's what I see you guysdoing.
Craig (39:52):
And also for sure my whole life.
You're not going up my mom, Sigwill stand up and defend.
There is a, an honor,
Maury (40:01):
Yeah.
Craig (40:02):
And a protection that you have never seen before and visa
versa.
My mom will not give up on him,nor will she, like she will let
you have your opinions aboutwhat if he's.
If he has an odd moment, but sheis not gonna leave her post as,
(40:22):
his protector as well.
Maury (40:24):
It's interesting to me cuz that's what I heard.
That is exactly what the two ofyou talked about when you
described the beginning of yourrelationship.
Dodo you, knew that he was theguy and you could see through
his stuff and, Siggie you talkedabout, she was my friend, I'd
set up on dates, that's changed,but then I would protect her.
You, had this and thosedynamics.
(40:44):
That's exactly what you justtalked about, Craig.
And then that's been there.
From the get go.
Craig (40:50):
Oh yeah.
Maury (40:50):
This embracing those real strengths.
Yeah.
Craig (40:52):
What are some other things that you guys do that you
think are, available toeverybody that might be special
in your marriage?
Dodo (41:00):
Two things.
One, even as I'm sitting righthere, I always like to be
touching him.
I will either be holding hishand or like right now I'm
sitting and putting my foot byhim.
I always like to be touchinghim, so at some deep level I
always like feeling that we'retogether.
It's a connection, like a kissbefore we leave or a kiss when
(41:23):
we come home.
Another thing that we do that'sreally important to me is that
if we have a doctor'sappointment ever, we have a
doctor's appointment and this,was even when we were both
working, we would try to figureout how to do it.
We would have us both go.
I'd go to the doctor, he'd comealong.
I wanted to have him there tohear what was happening.
(41:43):
I wanted another pair of earsthere.
I wanted not to have to worrythat maybe I missed something.
And I think Siggie felt the sameway.
He wanted to be sure that hedidn't mishearing something.
So we'd always go together, evenif it was something really
simple, just to be there tosupport each other and to know
that we both heard the sameinformation.
Maury (42:06):
How did you end up so screwed up, Craig?
I just don't get I'm like know,
Craig (42:10):
I know, it's weird, isn't it?
You would think.
Siggie (42:12):
He has the chutzpah to blame me that I passed it on in
jeans.
Craig (42:17):
I, realize how, lucky I am to have been raised under
this incredible marriage andincredible love affair.
I feel incredibly grateful andfortunate to have had this
modeled for me because the truthis, I did see it, I saw it every
day.
it's what I know in arelationship, we're always
trying to do our mini version ofwhat we see with Siggie and
(42:39):
Dodo.
Dad, Nicole and I, we have tolaugh because we play a game at
our house called"I Do MoreAround Here".
And"I Do More Around Here" is away that we can laugh off the
fact that we're keeping score.
And there are times when I feellike I'm doing more around here.
I'm emptying the, I have to goshopping, I'm cooking more, I'm
(43:01):
cleaning more, I do more aroundhere, I do more around here.
We had to come up with a gameearly to take the, steam out of
this one.
And we laugh about it called,Hey, do you wanna play?
I do more around here because weeach start feeling a resentment.
It's not fair.
I do more around here.
Do you and mom.
Play a game of, I do more aroundhere.
(43:23):
Do you guys play tit for tat?
Siggie (43:25):
As long as we have been married, we have never been in
competition with each other.
We've never kept score.
We have never, tit for tat or Igo to the market or why don't
you do it when I'm not home?
Or, the funny thing is sinceI've retired, we don't go to the
(43:49):
market unless we can do ittogether and we even enjoy going
to the market together and we goup and down every aisle whether
we need anything or anything.
And we enjoy shopping together.
Dodo (44:03):
So for me, some of the household duties, household
responsibilities would fall onone of us as opposed to the
other as it does I think in,every marriage.
And as Siggie said he used toleave early, he was never here
when I woke up in the morning.
I never saw him in the morning.
I never saw him till dinnertime.
What's happened since we've bothbeen home now, especially during
(44:25):
Covid, we've come up with thesecute things that we do.
One of them, and Siggie alwayshated making the bed, like if he
was ever home on the weekends,like making the bed was, and I
never understood like, why doyou hate making the bed?
It's like such a simple littlething to do.
He didn't wanna make the bed.
It was rang something fromchildhood, I don't even know.
Anyway, so now we make the bedevery day together.
(44:47):
We get out of bed, he goes, dowe have to make the bed?
Yes, we have to make the bed.
We make the bed every day.
And it's really funny and it'snothing to do it, it takes
exactly two minutes, but it'ssomething that we do together so
I don't have to run around thebed and make the bed because he
makes it with me.
Craig (45:03):
Why is that important?
Dodo (45:05):
Because it, it helps me.
It's it's, part of my, dailything is that I'm gonna make the
bed every day because I'm notsomebody that would ever leave
the bed unmade.
So I know I'm gonna do it, and Ilove the fact that he'll help me
do it.
And it, has become a routine.
It's the same thing, like withthe laundry.
Like I always did the laundrybecause I just always did the
laundry.
Now I do the laundry, I bring itin from the garage, I throw it
(45:28):
on the couch and we fold ittogether every single week.
So once a week we do the laundrytogether.
It's just nice.
It's just like an easy thing todo together.
Craig (45:38):
See, I think there's mastery in this.
I think that doing these thingstogether is part of the glue.
Would you agree with that?
Siggie (45:44):
Absolutely.
We, actually laugh about it.
In fact, the cutest thing whenwe do the laundry and we do The
sheets when we make our firstcrease and I bring my end to
her, we kiss and then we fold itand then I bring the other end
to her and we kiss and we dothat that's our folding routine.
Dodo (46:08):
I will say that, at dinner sometimes if I'm like in a
meeting or I'm doing somethingand Siggie will make a salad,
I'll always say to him, thankyou for making the salad.
I realize I don't have to saythank you, but I do.
I'll say thank you for makingthe salad.
Craig (46:23):
Oh, that's a big one.
So you, do you guys say thankyou to each other a lot?
Dodo (46:27):
Yes, Thank you for making salads.
Siggie (46:29):
Yes.
There will be times that.
Yes, I'll wake up cuz I getusually get up a lot earlier
than Doritt.
I'll get up and empty thedishwasher.
And every time she'll alwayssay, thanks for doing that.
Sometimes we'll both take alittle nap in the afternoon and
we like to eat around sixo'clock.
So while she's sleeping, I'llmake a salad.
(46:51):
I'll set the table and get stuffready.
So when she comes down, dinner'sbasically made and ready for
her, and she says, thank you fordoing it.
Dodo (47:02):
Yeah.
Craig (47:02):
And you don't feel pissed that she was taking a nap while
you were making dinner?
Siggie (47:06):
No, I'm making her happy.
I'm making myself happy, and wejust enjoy doing things for each
other.
Craig (47:14):
Amazing.
Are there any other things, anyother little routines that you
find, maybe they're quirks ofyour relationship but you, do
regularly?
Siggie (47:24):
Yeah.
We, have a cute routine everymorning.
I'm downstairs early, Dorittlets me know when she wakes up.
I get up, turn off the TV I goupstairs, get back in bed.
We always kiss and then we do ameditation together, and then we
play Wordle, and then we doWaffle, and then we plan our
(47:49):
meals, our lunch, and ourdinner.
This is our routine everymorning, and if there's
something we need and Doritt hasa Zoom meeting or something,
I'll say, do you want me to runto the market and get some
something or any,"No.
Wait till I'm finished and we'llgo together."
Craig (48:08):
Ladies and gentlemen, these are real people.
This is a real relationship.
I have watched it.
Ladies and gentlemen.
These are real human beings.
Nicole (48:17):
In terms of communication, what do you think
makes you special?
Dodo (48:22):
I think our love for each other is so deep that giving it
up is never an option.
It's not on the table.
It's always that we'll find away to work out anything.
There's nothing that we can'twork out and we will just
persevere.
Siggie (48:39):
And I go by the philosophy, a quitter never wins
and a winner never quits.
Craig (48:46):
Because I think in Nicole's question there are
people that talk about thedreaded D-Word, DIVORCE or they,
have conversations of, should westay together, should we not?
And what I hear you say is no,you guys have not spent much
time with that being an optionon the table when you talk.
Siggie (49:04):
We have never brought up the word divorce.
Dodo (49:07):
Long ago, when I was first in love with Siggie, I thought
about the fact when we finallygot together that if I hadn't
married him, if I hadn't beenwith him, I was in terror.
Really terror of the fact thatif I married somebody else and
if 20 years later I saw himsomewhere, that I would leave my
(49:29):
husband, leave my children to gobe with him, I couldn't resist
it.
And it scared me, the thought ofhow much I loved him and that
some kind of power, some kind ofconnection that I would throw my
life away to go be with him.
So it motivated me to stay withhim, to always know that we're
gonna work everything out,because he was like my destiny.
(49:51):
And I didn't want to ever,tamper with that, cuz that
scared me, that what would Iwould do to my life.
Craig (49:58):
Wow.
Nicole (49:59):
And what is being a best friend to you?
Siggie (50:01):
Acceptance, non-judgmental and not trying to
change.
Doritt, accepting her for whoand what she is.
Accepting me for who and what Iam, and giving each other the
opportunity to make the changesthat will compliment each other.
Dodo (50:24):
For sure.
Siggie is my best friend, and Ialso have another best friend, a
woman, best friend fromchildhood who's still my best
friend, but Siggie is my bestfriend because to me a best
friend is someone who you can beopen and honest with about
everything that you trust thatperson enough.
To be honest and open, and I'mnot like that with most people
(50:48):
in my life.
I'm not like such a open personwith people, but to my best
friends I am.
You have to like somebody inorder to love them I think?
Siggie (50:58):
Yes.
That's always been ourfoundation is we like and we
enjoy being together and sharingthe good and the bad, the happy
and the sad, but we always do ittogether.
Craig (51:15):
Maury I think we're in agreement that these two are,
marriage masters, right?
Maury (51:19):
Heck yes.
Craig (51:19):
Heck yes.
Maury (51:20):
Yes, We're gonna get t-shirts made for you guys.
Craig (51:24):
Siggie Dodo, my lovely wife, Nicole and Mr.
Sterling, thank you for awonderful episode.
Diamonds are forever.
Trulys are forever.
Diamonds are forever.
Maury (51:35):
Thank you both.
I just have to say thank you so,much.
What a treat.
What a real, what a real treat.
Dodo (51:40):
Thank you.
Siggie (51:41):
It's lovely seeing you too.
Maury (51:42):
Yeah, likewise.
Craig (51:44):
Thank you everybody for listening and we'll see you next
time.
We love you next time.
Bye-Bye bye.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.
Bye.
And now it's time for the"Wrapper-Upper".
Maury that's 14 parts.
Family therapy, eight partspersonal therapy, one part
podcast host, three tens husbandeight tens friend.
(52:04):
That is just a wild experiencethat,
Maury (52:06):
You're not a banker, are you?
Craig (52:07):
I'm not a banker.
You right.
That, that didn't add up.
That was super cool.
I felt like it was so cool.
Such a nice gift to give to myparents that they could sit in
being so wonderful at something.
It was so cool to sit andrealize they are really
wonderful at something that isnot easy to do.
Maury (52:26):
Mm-hmm.
Craig (52:26):
Learned some stuff.
Learned a lot of stuff.
I gotta tell you, I mean, Nicoleand I walked away from that
interview with a lot of verysimple, practical things, and
that is my wrapper upper, Ithink.
Like a lot of mastery.
The answer is not verycomplicated, but it's in the
(52:47):
action.
And when I realized that, andI've seen it my whole life, but
you know that my dad will walkin and give my mom a kiss and
that he'll give her a kiss onthe way out the door that they.
Don't kind of go to bed angry.
They, they talk.
When things come up, they do thelittle things well and
(53:08):
consistently and it's like weall know to do them, but we let
those little things slip and yousee a mastery in a marriage for
60 years and you realize, Theymake the little things look
easy.
They really do.
And they make them important.
The little things are important.
(53:29):
So, so Nicole and I have startedgiving a kiss when we walk in
and, and a kiss before we leave100 percents because of this
interview's.
So great thing.
You know what, that's animportant thing and we want to
do that.
Maury (53:43):
I love that.
Yeah.
No, it's how those littlethings, I mean, one of my
favorite quotes in life is, youknow, the way you do one thing
is the way you do everything.
And so those tiny little changescan make, can be such watershed
of moments of no matter what, Ichoose affection, no matter what
I choose.
Love.
Yeah.
I, I, there were so many, Imean, respect.
Your mom talking about how, youknow, what she loves about your
(54:04):
dad is he's always game.
Even if he doesn't want to, evenif she knows, like it's not his
thing, he'll stay.
Yeah, let's do it.
You know?
Which to me is there's just nofight.
There's no fight.
You know, Allie and I talkedabout what are the deal breakers
and your dad's, like when shedies, like that's the deal
breaker, but there's just no.
All the things, they just aren'thung up on all these things that
(54:25):
could be hung up.
And they had, you know, you, younever wanna force something that
shouldn't be, but they, and theygenuinely had a kind of love
from the get-go.
That was the connective tissuethat certainly helps make those
decisions.
There's a lot your dad said thatI really related to anger,
darkness you know,self-loathing, how he expressed
(54:47):
himself and felt about his life.
I don't think of myself as atough guy like your dad, but
there's more, there's a lot inthat I related to, and so he has
to make a decision when he walksin the door to put that down.
Whatever that is.
And in a way he talked about itsounded like some of it's still
there.
But he makes a decision when hewalks in the door, to choose
love, you know, these are thepeople who matter to me and so I
(55:10):
will be this way for them.
And I just think that's sopowerful.
And your, your mom is just,she's just awesome.
Craig (55:17):
Hang on, hang on.
Wrap her up or violation, right.
Coming in with, coming in with asecond one because I have this
one.
Oh, you, Nicole and I the titfor tat.
Oh yeah.
The fact that my parents do notplay tit for tat that they're
not scorekeeping actually blewmy mind.
I spend so much of my time.
(55:39):
Score keeping with Nicole.
Well, I did the dishes.
Are you going to take out thethis?
And I went shopping, are yougoing to do that?
And it's all, some like, likethey're scales and like they
have to be balanced with perfectlittle cubes of equal.
And then my parents are like,what?
I was like, so aren't you likeresentful when you have to go
shopping and cook?
And they're, they were lookingat us like, what are you talking
(56:01):
about?
They literally did notunderstand.
Yep.
The game of tit for tat.
Yep.
They just do stuff and that,seriously, that blew my mind.
Maury (56:10):
And that's one of those things I feel like there's so
many things in marriage andrelationships that we're told to
value and some of those makesense, but like the tit for tat
one, right.
Like for, for years I was like,well, yeah.
Yeah, that's how you should,like a marriage, a relationship
looks like this.
Like, and it matters that Ifight for this and I make sure,
you know, and that it alwaysbites me in the ass, by the way,
(56:33):
the minute I start doing that,
Craig (56:35):
Exactly.
Maury (56:35):
She's gonna say, well yeah, what about this one?
And I go, exactly.
That kind of stuff to actuallygive that stuff up?
And again, like, an abusivemarriage is an abusive marriage.
I don't think everyone shouldfind some magic just because
you're in a bad situation,you're in a bad situation.
Craig (56:49):
Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.
For sure.
Maury (56:51):
But that's a game changer.
Craig (56:53):
I mean they're definitely, the cool thing I've
had, and I said it is a frontrow seat.
To two people that have justalways really liked each other.
They've always really rooted foreach other.
Yep.
They didn't expect each other tobe perfect.
They knew each other'sweaknesses from the get go.
And still there's just this likeadoration and Yeah.
(57:13):
And like as my mom said, my momsaid it like a deep love, you
know, just these are two peoplethat deeply love each other and
they're okay with the otherperson not being perfect.
And they dig the journeytogether and they always have.
And it's inspiring and it, it'scool to know it's out there.
I feel like it rubbed off on meand Nicole.
Definitely.
Yeah.
And hopefully everybody outthere, you'll get a little bit
(57:36):
of Siggie and Dodo rubbing offon you in your life and in your
relationships.
But Maury, thanks for doing thisone with me.
This was an awesome, awesometrip.
Awesome.
And, and what a gift.
Uh, all the way around for myfamily.
Maury (57:49):
Yep.
Great to see them too.
Craig (57:50):
So, we'll see you next time on Everyday
Maury (57:54):
Masters.
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