June 22, 2025 • 70 mins
What happens when your entire life changes in a single moment? For Kiwan Amey, that moment came on May 5th, 2017, when a driver pulled out in front of his motorcycle on a North Carolina highway. One month later, he woke from a medically induced coma to discover he had lost his eyesight completely.
Before the accident, Kiwan was living a full life as a US Air Force in-flight refueling specialist, entrepreneur, and student with dreams of becoming a commissioned pilot. With a 3.87 GPA and a thriving web design business, his future seemed boundless. After the accident, he faced the crushing reality of losing his military career, his independence, and the life he had known. In those dark early days, suicidal thoughts plagued him as he struggled to accept his new reality.
What makes Kiwan's story so remarkable isn't just his survival against medical odds, but how he transformed his tragedy into triumph. He coined a personal mantra that became his north star: "I lost my sight, but not my vision." This profound perspective shift opened doors to possibilities most would consider impossible for someone without sight. He mastered adaptive sports including rowing, archery, powerlifting, and even downhill skiing on real snow. His athletic prowess earned him an invitation to the Paralympics Team USA rowing tryouts. He returned to his love of music, playing drums professionally and learning keyboard. As the self-proclaimed "excuse destroyer," Kiwan now works as a motivational speaker, sharing his journey to inspire others to overcome their own limitations.
This episode offers a masterclass in resilience, forgiveness, and redefining purpose after trauma. Kiwan's infectious optimism and determination shine through as he explains how losing his sight ultimately gave him clearer vision for what matters in life. His story will challenge you to reconsider what's truly possible when you focus not on what you've lost, but on what you can still become.
Listen to this powerful conversation, then ask yourself: what excuse is holding you back from living your fullest life?
Connect with Kijuan on Instagram
Connect with Kijuan's website
Purchase Kijuans book Dont Focus on Why Me
Thanks for listening in!
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Music Credit: Cody Martin - Sunrise (first 26 episodes) then custom made for me.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions, and stories shared on this podcast are personal to the host and guests and are not intended to serve as professional advice or guidance. They reflect individual experiences and perspectives. While we strive to provide valuable insights and support, listeners are encouraged to seek professional advice for their specific situations. The host and production team a
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Episode Transcript
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Trudie (00:01):
Welcome to the Everyday Warriors podcast, the perfect
space to speak my truth and diveinto deep conversations with
others.
This podcast is aboutcelebrating everyday warriors,
the people who face life'schallenges head on, breaking
through obstacles to buildresilience, strength and courage
.
Join me, your host, trudy Marie, as I sit down with inspiring
(00:26):
individuals who have foughttheir own battles and emerged
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space, allowing you to explore,question and find your own path
to new possibilities.
Let us all embrace the warriorwithin and realise that, while
(00:48):
no one is walking in your shoes,others are on this same path,
journeying through life together.
Please note that the followingpodcast may contain discussions
or topics that could betriggering or distressing for
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I aim to provide informativeand supportive content, but
(01:11):
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Remember that it is okay toprioritize your well-being and
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(01:31):
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Every bit counts.
Every bit counts.
If you're looking for aninspiring story of resilience,
healing and rediscoveringyourself, then my book Everyday
Warrior From Frontline toFreedom is for you.
It is my memoir of hiking the1,000 kilometre Bibbulmun Track,
(03:04):
a journey that was as muchabout finding my way back to
myself as it was aboutconquering the trail through the
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This book is taken from myjournals and is my raw and
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Grab your copy now.
Just head to the link in theshow notes and let's take this
(03:27):
journey together.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Everyday Warriors podcast,
and I do have a special guestwith me today.
All the way from North Carolinain the United States, we are
literally 12 hours apart fromeach other, but somehow, with
(03:50):
the magic of technology, we arehere today.
So I would like to welcomeKiwan Kiwan Woodson.
Kijuan (03:57):
Hey how you doing Trudy.
Trudie (03:58):
Trudy, I'm really good.
How are you giving it yournight time in my morning?
Kijuan (04:04):
Kiwan Woodson yeah, yeah , so tell me about it.
Listen, the warrior isdefinitely coming from you
because you wake up bright andearly.
Trudie (04:11):
I did have to this morning to do this recording,
definitely, so I want to startyour story, kiwan.
I know you have an incrediblestory to tell, but take us back
around 10 years ago and tell uswhere you were in your life,
what you were up to.
Kijuan (04:30):
Yeah, so about 10 years ago, which would have been 2015,
I was just coming off activeduty.
I finished that commitment overthere and now I'm switching
over to the reserves.
My job was in the US Air Force,where I would be doing
in-flight refueling.
I was an in-flight refuelingspecialist, and that's where you
refuel planes in midair.
(04:52):
So just think about that for asecond.
It was a roller coaster ridefor sure.
Literally refueling planes inmidair, whether it was fighters,
bombers, cargo aircraft,reconnaissance planes, maybe
even other tankers, such as theone that I was on.
As long as it was able to berefueled, we would do it, and we
(05:15):
could also not only refuel AirForce planes, but we could also
refuel Navy as well as Marines.
So we were very versatile.
Trudie (05:24):
And where were you based out of at the time?
Kijuan (05:27):
Yeah, so I was stationed in North Carolina.
I mean, yes, I was born andraised in Durham, North Carolina
, but I also was stationed inNorth Carolina at Seymour
Johnson Air Force Base.
Trudie (05:39):
Okay, my husband was also in the US Air Force,
obviously retired now and livingin Australia, but there is that
connection there between usthat you know that, serving One
of the best branches ever.
I'm sure he says the same thing.
So, and in your life in general, what else were you up to?
Kijuan (06:03):
And in your life in general.
What else were you up to?
Yeah, so I, like I said, when Iwent to the reserves, my goal
was not just to be, you know,still doing my job that I was
doing on active duty, but I alsowanted to go to school full
time.
That was one of my main goals,even when I joined active duty,
was to get my schooling paid for, because if you did I think
it's three and a half years ofservice, active duty service and
(06:25):
you were dishonorable I meanhonorably discharged you could
get your schooling paid for fromany you know accredited school,
as long as, like I said, youhad an honorable discharge and
you did three and a half years.
Those were the requirementsthat were needed, requirements
that were needed Also.
Once I got that you knowcommitment completed, I would go
(06:52):
ahead and start doing my degree, which was in computer
information systems, with aspecialization in systems
analysis and integration.
A mouthful just to say hey, man, learn how to code.
And so I learned how to code.
I learned how to do a littlebit of websites and learn some
business lingo for thebusinesses and stuff like that
that I would have to work with.
And then I also wanted tocommission to become a pilot,
(07:18):
and so you need a four yeardegree in order to do that, and
I didn't have one yet becausethat was the reason I was going
to school your degree in orderto do that and I didn't have one
yet because that was the reasonI was going to school.
So that's what I was doing.
I had well, once you get to thepoint of my accident, I have
one year left to get it done.
So I was, you know, pushingreally hard, working, going to
school, even had my own business.
(07:39):
I was the CEO of my ownbusiness called Kiwi Enterprise.
So this is my second businessthat I'm going to be talking to
you about today.
My first one was KiwiEnterprise, where I did website
design and management, socialmedia marketing and photography
for small businesses and thosealike.
So, yeah, that's what I wasdoing.
I was also very active.
(08:00):
I always played sports, likegrowing up.
So growing up, I was outdoorkid and then, when I got to
middle school and high school, Iplayed football and ran track.
I tried basketball.
I didn't really like it.
I like I played pickup games,you know, at the gym, you know
stuff like that, but I did notlike organized ball.
It wasn't for me.
I'm too physical and rough forthat stuff.
(08:23):
They would have called a foulon me every play.
So I was like, yeah, no, I'mgoing to play something that's
physical, which was football.
And then in track, you know, Ijust ran and jumped.
I definitely loved jumping.
Jumping was my thing.
I did long jump and high jump.
I wanted to do triple jump butthey wouldn't let me.
I don't know why, and I didhurdles.
(08:45):
So yeah, I was pretty real, youknow, versed in a lot of things
.
I played in football.
I played pretty much anyposition other than on the line.
You know, I could play anything.
It did not matter because mymind just was queued up and the
IQ for it was just ready to go.
All the time it didn't matter.
Trudie (09:06):
So as soon as I switched in that role, I'm now that you
know so so let me get thisstraight you were in your
mid-20s, you'd come out ofactive duty, you were studying
hard at school, you wereextremely active off the field,
but very, very, very determinedas well.
Like you've already got yourfirst business started and like
(09:27):
you are going places.
Kijuan (09:30):
So how did?
Trudie (09:31):
that all change.
Kijuan (09:35):
Yeah.
So, like I mentioned, you know,I was trying to get my degree
so that I could commission to bea pilot.
Well, fast forward another twoyears so that I could commission
to be a pilot.
Well, fast forward another twoyears.
So you get what's that?
(09:56):
2017?
We would be in now, may of thistimeframe, and I was, of course,
I mean living the life.
I'm 25 years old at this timeand when I tell you, it seemed
like nothing could stop me.
I was doing everything Ipossibly wanted to do.
First and foremost, I meangoing on trips, not only for the
air force, but for myself.
If I wanted to go on a cruise,I'm gone.
You know things like that.
And so, when I tell you, I wasliving life, had a, you know,
had a girlfriend at the time,nice apartment, car, motorcycle,
(10:20):
everything business I'm doingit all.
You know.
Going to school and and cycleeverything business I'm doing it
all, you know.
Going to school and not justgoing to school.
I was actually making thedean's list.
You know what I mean.
So I'm not just just talkingabout, you know.
Oh, I'm getting a decent gradeand then I'm going.
Trudie (10:34):
No, I'm making A's you know, yeah, you're not just
cruising under the radar likeyou're literally working your
butt off to get where you wantedto be.
Yeah, and doing well at it.
When I had my accident, I had a3.87 GPA in college.
Kijuan (10:57):
That's incredible and I can remember it like it was
yesterday.
Yeah, I remember it like it wasyesterday.
You know, I took schoolseriously, like that was
something that I always tookseriously, like that was
something that I always tookseriously.
And so, anywho, getting back tothe story, you know that May
5th, which is the day of theaccident, so I kind of give you
(11:21):
a run up until the point, like Isaid, I was, I had my business,
qe Enterprise.
Well, that day I would jump onmy motorcycle because I wanted
to go take some pictures for oneof the businesses, one of the
websites, which is actually mychurch, my church's website.
I wanted to go update theirphotos on the website, because I
looked at the website and I waslike, oh God, this thing is so
out of date, you know, and Iwanted to, you know, spiff it up
(11:43):
, you know, because it seemedlike it was just kind of thrown
together.
You know, and and I wanted to,you know, spiff it up, you know,
because it seemed like it wasjust kind of thrown together,
you know, when you don't haveanybody, that's really a what
can I say?
a legitimate webmaster, whereassomebody like myself who
actually went and took classeson it.
You know what I mean.
So anybody can put together atemplate, you know.
But can you actually designthis thing even if you don't
(12:08):
have the templates, even if youdon't have this?
Oh, here's a plug in.
No, I knew how to write code ifI wanted something different.
You know, I was that person andso I was like, let me do this
for my church.
And I took it over, which was,you know, just something I
wanted to do and they didn't payme a dime.
I didn't want to be paid.
I wanted to do this for mychurch and so, like I said, I
(12:32):
jumped on my motorcycle myapartment to the church.
The drive, or ride, shall I say, was about give or take 10
minutes and for all my ridersyou know what I mean it was
probably shorter and so I getthere in about 10 minutes and
you know I'm taking the picturesof the outside.
I didn't have any access to theinside because I don't have a
(12:56):
key and stuff, but you know, Iwould definitely want to update
the outside pictures and so Iget all those pictures taken and
I'm like this is a really niceday, spring time, sun is out,
but there are clouds helpingblock it, so I'm not getting,
you know, wilted.
And the next thing, I know I'mlike, you know, I got some time
(13:20):
to kill.
I think I'm going to keepriding for a little bit, because
this 10 minute ride is notenough just to go put the bike
right back up in the garage.
And so I said, let me take off,I'm going to go to the lake and
I head off to Jordan Lake herein North Carolina for those
North Carolinians that know whatI'm talking about and that's
(13:40):
about 30 minutes from my church.
It's about a 30 minute ride,which is great.
That's a beautiful ride one way.
I head out that way and noproblem, I always go to the same
part of the lake.
By the way, on the cover, thebackdrop is, you know, trees, a
(14:09):
little bit of water off to theright, some rocks off to the
left and like a period slashdock that you can see you can't
see me, but you can see all thisother stuff and it's just that,
that scene.
And then you'll see amotorcycle kind of in the middle
of it.
Well, that was the cover designthat I came up with mentally
and that they stitched togetherfor the cover design editors.
(14:31):
They stitched it all togetherfor me, but that backdrop was
Jordan Lake, the actual placethat I went to go sit, and that
motorcycle was my actualmotorcycle.
Trudie (14:45):
I call her Nina I love that you name your motorcycle
yeah, yeah, I named all my cars,motorcycles, everything.
Kijuan (14:52):
I name it all.
Everybody has a different name.
So all of that that's on thecover and so that actual spot
that you can see, basicallylooking down the, the walkway of
the pier slash dock, that waswhere I would actually sit.
That that may 5th, um, beforemy my accident occurred, and so
(15:15):
I'm just sitting there and I gothere to like, meditate, zone
out, you know, just kind of beat peace.
You know it's so quiet, youdon't get a lot of traffic,
especially not during the day.
And this, like I said, was may5th 2017 what some might call
cinco de mayo I call my new lifejourney and a car would come by
(15:36):
on the highway and this ishighway 751 in north carolina
and, uh, I happened.
I got started, of course.
So now I'm looking at my watchand I'm like, oh snap, I got to
go because I had to work thatnight for the air force actually
that weekend.
And, um, I said, shoot, I gotto go, I got to go get you know,
go to work and get ready to getout of here.
And so I jump on the bike here,I go, well, on this back
(16:01):
highway, uh,1, it's like a twolane.
It's a two.
Well, it is not like it's a twolane road the lane that I'm in
and the lane that's coming thecars is coming past me, so all
is well there.
Ok, here, and then also in NorthCarolina, if you look at that
cover, you'll see tall trees.
(16:22):
Well, that's the same thing.
Along that back road was abunch of tall trees all the way
back.
The only time you didn't seetrees is at an intersection or
somebody's driveway or a gasstation, and then they had like
a produce farm out there youknow things like that where they
needed to be cut back.
(16:43):
Basically, well, as I'm riding,I had a helmet, full face.
Helmet, now, full face, that'sall I wore.
I don't wear the bucket, Idon't wear none of that.
The skull, whatever they callit, I don't wear none of that.
I wear full face and I alwayskeep my visor down, and so I
don't like bugs getting in, andso, as I'm riding, I have
(17:08):
bluetooth capability in myheadset on the right side and I
can listen to music, and so I'mnot sure if you're familiar with
bruno mars I am yes, so I again.
This is 2017 and more thanlikely listening to the Bruno
Mars 24 karat magic album, I amprobably jamming out because I
(17:34):
love music and for Trudy, shecan see behind me that I have
drums and a keyboard, so youknow I'm a musician.
I also do a little bit ofsinging, so music has been my
life for a long time and I'mloving this album.
I'm riding, just you know,enjoying the ride, and
(17:56):
everything was fine until itwasn't and that was when I would
be approaching an intersectionand a silver hondo court would
pull out in front of me and, asI always tell this story, I had
three options I could go rightand go into the trees that I
(18:18):
told you guys about.
I could go left and go into theoncoming traffic, because I did
mention to you all about that.
Or I could do what ended uphappening and freeze up and hit
him, because the thing is,people some people, not
everybody some people think thatmotorcycles can stop on a dime.
(18:39):
Oh, you would be right.
I'll give you the two reasonshow or ways, how.
The first way would be you lockup the front brake and you flip
off of it.
The second one would be you letthe bike, you laid the bike
down or had an accident,basically, like I did, the only
two ways that bike is going tostop like this.
(19:01):
Ok, so I stopped the bike, butit was because of a car got it
and I was the imprint, and sothat was where he would pull out
in front of me, like I said,and, uh, I would hit him.
Now, the reason I know aboutthis?
Because I honestly do notrecollect any, any of this.
(19:23):
I cannot recall, um, the actualaccident.
Now I do remember everythingleading up to it, like I told
you guys about the riding downthe street and all that, but the
actual accident, thank god,honestly, because I don't.
I don't think I want to reliveit.
The reason I know about it isfrom the police report, the
witnesses who wrote something onthe police report, what the
(19:46):
officers told my mom, the nurses, everybody, the word of mouth
is how I found out, and so onthe police report, man pulls out
in front of me.
Ok, now he's at fault, so itwas not my fault.
Two cars were behind him atthis intersection, same
(20:09):
intersection.
They wrote on the police report, they saw me coming, so they
don't know why he didn't.
And yes, I'm saying he, becauseit was a man according to the
police report.
I'm saying he because it was aman according to the police
report.
(20:31):
And so when I hear this, itinfuriates me Because now you
were distracted, that's all Icould think, if two cars behind
you can see me and you jump outin front of me, that means you
were distracted somehow, because, like I told y'all, every
intersection, every driveway,every gas station, all the trees
are cut back so you can seewhat's coming, because the speed
(20:53):
limit on this back road is 55miles an hour.
You do not want to pull out infront of, for example, another
truck or even like a 18-wheeler.
I told you there's a producefarm back there.
What if an 18-wheeler I toldyou there's a produce farm back
there.
What if an 18-wheeler carryingproduce came down the road at 55
, 60 miles an hour and youpulled out in front of it?
It's going to take you with it,a hundred percent, yeah.
(21:15):
So it was one of those thingswhere, you know, once I found
that out, I didn't want to bebothered, because he did want to
see me at the hospital when Ifinally woke up.
And I say finally because,after being life flighted to the
hospital, after being, you know, worked on with countless
(21:39):
surgeries for a month and a day,yeah, I didn't wake up until
June, the 6th of 2017.
Wow, yeah, I was in a medicallyinduced coma.
Trudie (21:53):
Okay, so just to like recap everything you've said,
you had gone out as part of yourday-to-day business doing
volunteer work, because you aregiving back to your church
community by helping them withtheir website.
It's a beautiful spring day.
You've decided to go out tothis lake that you always ride
(22:13):
out to have this beautifulmoment, meditating in nature,
driving home or riding homeready to go to work.
Everything is going beautifully.
You're listening to your music,having a great old time, and
then, in a split second, yourlife has completely changed
(22:34):
because of somebody's disregardfor the respect of driving a
vehicle on a road.
Kijuan (22:42):
Absolutely, you nailed it.
Trudie (22:45):
And you spent like you said.
You spent a month in an inducedcoma before you were able to
wake up, obviously havingmultiple surgeries.
And when you wake up, andobviously you're still in
hospital, how is life differentfor you?
Kijuan (23:02):
Is life different for you?
Well, first and foremost, Iwake up not really fully aware
of where I am.
I thought I was at home in mybedroom.
I'll be honest, I'm thinkingit's May 5th or May 6th.
I thought the day had justrestarted.
And so I wake up, but I'mhearing voices.
(23:23):
I'm like what the heck?
Who is in my room?
And so, oh, OK, that's mygirlfriend.
I know why she would be here.
Trudie (23:34):
Wait a minute.
What the heck is my mom?
Kijuan (23:35):
doing here?
Mom, I need you to get out ofhere.
I don't think I'm dressedappropriately for you to be in
here and that's all.
I'm sitting there thinking.
But then I'm listening to theconversation they're having,
because they are talking to eachother and I hear them talking
(23:55):
about some motorcycle accidentand I'm like who are they
talking about?
And I could not figure it out,because they're doing everything
generalized.
Well, I wish this would havenever happened and I just hope
he makes it out OK, and this,that and everything is general,
it's he, it's this, is that,it's I hope you know.
(24:16):
You know just the generalstatements and I'm like, will
somebody please say a name?
And not once.
Not once did they say a name.
And so now I'm fed up.
I'm like, forget it, I'm justgoing to wake up and ask them
who they talking about.
So I wake up.
Well, I was already awake butnow I'm revealing to them I'm
(24:38):
awake and that I've beeneavesdropping, and so I opened
my eye, only to not be able tosee anything.
So, yes, I woke up, without Isay it wasn't gradually taken
away from me.
And so I woke up, opened myeyes and I'm like wait a minute,
(25:03):
I can't see.
Ok, maybe my eyes just a littleblurry.
Let me try that again.
Is it dark in this room?
Okay, I can't see anything.
This is not fun.
And so now I don't like thegame that's being played.
So I go in and I'm trying tosay something.
I'm like maybe they did this.
(25:23):
And so, since it was two peoplein the room, like, oh, they
finna, fix this eye problemright now.
And I go to say something onlyto him, and now I can't talk
Because my jaw had been brokenand they wired it shut.
Trudie (25:48):
How did you feel in that moment?
Because to one wake up and notbe able to see, and you're not
knowing if this is permanent orif this is.
There's something over youreyes, but now you can't speak
either and communicate with thepeople in the room to tell them
you're actually awake.
What was that moment actuallylike for you?
Kijuan (26:09):
I think that was my first time ever panicking.
I think that was the first timein my life I had ever panicked
Because I didn't like what Iwhat was going on.
I felt like it was a nightmare.
I feel like I need to just goback to sleep and try this again
.
I need to wake up out of thedream.
You know how you feel like whenyou're in a bad dream.
(26:30):
You just wake up.
Wake up like, oh my God, I'm soglad that was a dream.
Yeah, no, mine wasn't.
I wish it was.
I wish that tonight, when I laydown and I wake up in the
morning, it'll be over.
Oh yeah, that was close.
That was a long seven years.
You know, that's what I'mwishing, that's what I hoped,
(26:55):
but now I've learned to livewith it.
But at that time, oh, it's panicmode, it is full on.
Hello, y'all gonna figure thisout because I don't like it.
Take this.
Whatever you got on my eyes,take it off.
And whatever y'all got me notnot to be able to speak, I want
it done.
Remove it now.
And so I'm trying my best tocommunicate is one of them on
(27:19):
each side.
So, like I said, my girlfriendand then my mom, and they were
on each side of my bed trying to, just trying to figure out what
I'm saying and my mom is likeslow down, calm down, and I'm
like calm down.
What you mean calm down?
How do you expect me to calmdown in a situation like this?
You know, that's all I'mthinking.
(27:40):
I'm doing my best to relaymessages through my teeth,
basically because you can't,when your mouth is wired shut,
you can't even separate yourteeth.
For those who did not know, youcannot separate your teeth.
It's not just you know, you'reholding your mouth closed,
(28:03):
trying to be a ventriloquist,you know, or something.
No, it's not that.
This is literally no movementof the jaw.
She, she, she, hands, she, shefinally says hold on, hold on.
And then I say, um, whatever,you know, I'm just fed up at
this point, whatever.
And she says here, and I'm likewhat?
(28:25):
And she's like hold out yourhands.
And so I hold out my hands andshe puts a notepad and a pencil
in it and I say, well, I didn'tsay anything.
I gave.
That was probably the meanestside eye I had ever given my mom
in my life.
Okay, and I meant that thing Iwas like really, are you serious
(28:48):
right now?
how am I supposed to do this?
I can't see, and I keeppointing at myself.
I'm trying to talk it, but I'mpointing.
Trudie (29:03):
So at this point they didn't know that your site was
taken, that you couldn't see.
Oh they knew.
Kijuan (29:09):
They knew.
That's why she gave it to me,because she was like but you've
been writing and I'm like, no, Ihaven't, I just woke up.
So apparently my subconsciouswas able just please just write
it down.
Try not to write over top ofwhat you've already wrote.
(29:40):
And I'm like, when I tell youI'm frustrated at this point,
that doesn't even begin todescribe me, like you know.
You know how you see cartoonsand their head pops off and
stuff.
That's what I'm doing right now.
And so I'm like, whatever, I'mgonna write this down.
If I write over top of something, I don't care.
You shouldn't have gave me thepaper.
I don't really care, huh.
(30:01):
And I shove it back at her whenshe reads it and I basically
ask her the question, saying um,what is this motorcycle
accident dream you guys aretalking about?
And she reads that and then sheturns back to me and says
that's not a dream, that's whathappened to you.
And I don't know if you've everheard the phrase that says felt
(30:29):
like you got hit with a ton ofbricks but that's what felt,
like you got hit with a ton ofbricks, but that's what it felt
like.
Trudie (30:39):
I got hit with a ton of bricks.
I can only begin to imagine,like even sitting here,
listening to you retell thatstory.
I'm sitting here trying toimagine that frustration and
anguish of I'm lying here,waking up, feeling like I've
just woken up from a dream.
I can hear these people talkingabout a motorcycle accident.
(31:01):
I try to open my eyes, I can'tsee.
I try to open my mouth, I can'tspeak.
My mum's asking me to writeshit down and I'm like I don't
know what I'm doing here.
And then she turns and says toyou we're talking about you,
this is what's happened.
Kijuan (31:18):
Like that's a life-changing moment in itself
you're telling me without allthe emotion that goes along with
it well, just imagine goingfrom I'm gonna play a funny joke
and I'm going to act like I'masleep, to waking up to a panic,
to going from panic tofrustration, to going from
(31:40):
frustration to holy crap,completion of the shock.
And this is in less than 30minutes, by the way, those are
all the emotions I went throughand I, after you know she, told
(32:00):
me that, um, I didn't.
I didn't interact with anybodyfor the rest of that day, and
probably not until the next dayor so, because now I'm, my brain
is trying to get wrapped aroundit.
Trudie (32:10):
Yeah, you're trying to process that news.
Kijuan (32:13):
Well, I'm a critical thinker, I'm a huge critical
thinker.
So my brain is like, well, howin the heck did this happen?
And I never was asked thequestion until like a day or two
later, whatever.
I don't remember how long agoor how long it took me, but I
know for sure it was another day.
It was not the same day.
I do know that much.
(32:34):
So, as I'm processing all this,the worst thing to happen is to
allow your brain just to sitidle with these thoughts.
And the reason I say that isbecause I created so many
different scenarios in how thiscould happen to me, different
scenarios in how this could havehappened to me, and none of
them were that.
(32:54):
None of them were this guypulled out in front of me and
you know where I was like.
I was like, wait a minute, Icould have sworn.
I went to, didn't I have my car?
Oh yeah, that's right, I did gohome, you know, and my brain is
trying to process the entiresituation.
But when you come out ofanesthesia, when you come out of
(33:17):
uh or being on opioids cause Iwas on oxycodone, I was on all
these different drugs, sleepingmedications, like when your
blood pressure medication whenyou're coming from all these
different medications and drugsand your brain has the fog of
(33:37):
the Middle East in fall, becauseif you've ever been to the
Middle East in fall, it's somebad fog.
This is terrible what I'mdealing with at this point.
You know what I mean.
So my thought process behind it, and I can man I.
(33:57):
It's hard to relive it becausethe emotions that come back from
it Sometimes I get chills whenI think about it those emotions
were just jumping every whichaway and I'm even still thinking
wait a minute, I got to go towork Because I don't even know
what.
I still have yet to ask what dayit is.
By the way, I found out whatday it was because I asked the
(34:23):
next day.
That was when I came back totalking, because I asked the
next day what happened, and soall I did was backtrack one day
to find out what day I actuallywoke up.
And so I'm just thinking it's,it's daggum, you know, still May
, and I still got to go to work.
Like I'm thinking, maybe it'sMay 6th versus May 5th now, and
(34:46):
I'm waking up a day later in thehospital, uh, just not unable
to move, but I'm thinking I gotto go to work.
I'm thinking the Air Force isgoing to consider me AWOL and
they're going to put me in jail,like literally.
These are the thoughts thatcrossed my mind.
Trudie (35:06):
You're literally trying to make sense of your new
reality, where you are, whatyou're doing, what you're
supposed to be doing, and youknow how much time has even
passed, like that's a wholelevel of utter confusion for
anybody to actually go throughand experience.
(35:27):
And you're doing this withoutyour sight and without being
able to talk, like your basicsenses have been taken from you
yeah, yeah, I couldn't talk,couldn't, uh see, couldn't even
smell.
Kijuan (35:41):
I didn't realize I couldn't smell yet and that was
due to the reconstructivesurgery that they had to do on
my face, because my face wascrushed in.
Trudie (35:59):
So I have two metal plates in my head, okay, so
Trudy, can you see this littlecurve right here?
Kijuan (36:03):
I can see that scar.
Yeah, that's a metal plateright there.
Trudie (36:06):
So let me ask you this You've woken up in the hospital,
25 years of age, with a majorlife shift.
Of life will never be the sameagain.
How did you move forward fromthat?
Kijuan (36:24):
Well, first off, it wasn't easy and it was not the
next day the biggest thing thathelped me, because I I'm one of
the what was, shall I say, oneof the safer riders you would,
you would have ran into as faras motorcyclists, no point in
running to.
But the thing is, once I wastold that it was not my fault,
(36:51):
once I was told that it was notmy fault, it took a lot of
stress off of me Because I feltat some point I was like, how
did I do this?
Like, what, what?
What did I do?
And I just kept thinking it wasme.
And then, when my mom finallytold me it was somebody else, I
said, wait, what?
Ok, yes, that does take someweight off me.
But wait, what?
Like who is this person?
(37:13):
I to no, I don't want to know.
But you know, I kept going backand forth.
I want to know, no, I don'twant to know, I want to know I
might jump on him and I'm justthat's all I'm thinking, and I'm
because I'm literally goingback and forth that I either
gonna hurt this man or I want toknow this man.
I didn't know what to dobecause you changed my life
forever.
Trudie (37:35):
A hundred percent.
Kijuan (37:36):
Yeah, like I told you, he did want to see me.
And when I, when I finally wokeup, he, he reached out to, I
guess, the lawyers that we wereshowing him with to get in touch
with my mom and tried to comeup to the hospital to, at least
you know, apologize andeverything.
And I just I couldn't at thattime, I could not handle that, I
(38:01):
couldn't.
I said no, no, do you want meto go to jail?
And my mom was like what I said, do you want me to go to jail?
And she was like what do youmean?
I was like what I said do youwant me to go to jail?
And she was like what do youmean?
I was like I'm going to find away to get a hold of him because
he changed my life.
I mean, since then it took acouple of a little while, maybe
(38:22):
a couple of years, but I havesince then forgiven him.
I have, and I cannot lie, I didforgive him.
But at that time, oh no, weputting on gloves, we getting in
the boxing ring, everything.
Oh, it's going to be KangarooJack.
Trudie (38:42):
A little Aussie reference there.
Look, what's there for me isthat I don't think anybody
listening to your story would beable to say that they takes an
incredible human being to dothat, because most people would
(39:16):
not get to that stage.
Kijuan (39:19):
Right, yeah, and that's where my faith came in, though,
like I was still a faithbeliever, because that's one of
the biggest things that got meover and got me through this,
and it's still getting methrough it today.
Not only am I a musician, but Iplay at my church.
You know, I play drums at mychurch, so, and I've been
(39:41):
playing since I was 10 or 12 atmy church can't remember now,
I'm 33 now but uh, I startedplaying the drums at seven, but
I started playing at my churchabout somewhere around 10 or 12,
something like that.
Trudie (39:56):
I love that and that you still give back to your
community in that way and youwill get into the music part of
it later, but it's such anincredibly beautiful gift to
give back.
Kijuan (40:08):
Yes, it is.
Trudie (40:10):
So tell me, after your accident accident and obviously
everything you've been through,all the rehabilitation you've
got to go through, learning tolive life again, because
literally some of your you likeone of your main senses has been
taken from you what was theturning point after the accident
that had you kind of go throughit?
Because I'm guessing thatduring this time you're probably
(40:33):
like and forgive me if I'mwrong in saying this, but you're
probably like I just wish Iwasn't here, I wish I'd just
been taken that day.
Kijuan (40:43):
Yeah, I had those thoughts we call those suicidal
thoughts and I definitely hadthose ideations, for sure.
Trudie (40:51):
And I don't doubt that at all.
Kijuan (40:53):
So what was the?
Trudie (40:54):
turning point.
Then, after the accident thathad you go no, this is my life
and this is how I'm going tolive it.
Kijuan (41:05):
It had to do a little bit with.
You know the people around meand that kept coming to.
You know, visit me, wanting totalk, call and talk to me.
And then you had the just asure mindset of, oh there are
things that I can do, Like what?
(41:26):
And I got curious.
So now I'm curious.
Not only am I doing, you knowphysical therapy, because I did
have to learn how to walk again,so not only am I learning how
you know doing physical therapy,orientation and mobility, which
is learning how to use a whitecane and navigate different
areas, such as your house.
Or if you, if you worked yourjob, they teach you how to
(41:48):
navigate around your job.
Or if you went to school, theyteach you how to navigate a
school, different things likethat.
I am also now able to do sports.
Are you serious?
And I told y'all how I was backin school I played football,
ran track and I played pickupbasketball.
Now, okay, I can't playfootball anymore.
(42:08):
I don't want to get hit with aball or a person.
I don't want to get hit with aball or a person.
I don't want to get hit witheither one of those a ball or a
person.
Ok, they both hurt.
If you can't see it.
And now running, I can still do.
I can still hit a track if Iwanted to.
I don't know if I want to dotoo much jumping because of the
metal parts that are in thereand the land is not as as good
(42:30):
as it used to be.
It's not as soft as it used tobe.
I can, if I want to run, though.
I've done shot put, I've donediscus, I've done rowing, I've
done archery, I've done airrifle power lifting.
Trudie (42:51):
I feel like I'm forgetting one of them.
Sheesh, the fact that you'vejust listed off all those things
that you have done since losingyour sight is incredible,
because most people don't do asingle one of those things and
have full vision.
Kijuan (43:03):
Yeah, I did rock climbing.
I've done downhill skiing onreal snow not the artificial
stuff on real snow in Vermont.
I actually did that last year.
What a bowling.
I mean, listen, I've actuallyshot basketball before too, and
(43:23):
I'm going to tell you how I didit, because some people probably
like, well, how do you do that?
He can't see the goal?
You know, ok, you're right, Icannot see it.
But what I did was I was placedat this free throw line.
First.
The person who I was with tookthe ball and they got up under
the rim and they hit the frontof the rim with the basketball
(43:46):
three different times.
They were like, ok, I'm aboutto hit it now, and they would
throw the ball up.
Boom, ok, I'm gauging it, I'mabout to hit it now, and they
would throw the ball up.
I was like, okay, I'm gaugingit, I'm gauging it.
And then they said, all right,I'm gonna hit it again now.
Okay, oh, yeah, yeah, I gotthis.
And then they're going to do itone more time.
Okay, yes, okay, I'm ready,give me the ball.
(44:08):
And I did not move my head tosave my life, like my head would
not move.
I made sure it didn't movebecause that was where the goal
was, was where my head was.
Now my arms have to judge thedistance based off the sound
that I was hearing, and so thosesound waves that kept traveling
(44:32):
from the goal to my ears iswhat I was gauging my hearing
off of in the distance, the timeand distance.
I was a math major, by the way,and so now, as I'm using time
and distance and I will and I'mfocused in on where the goalie
is like my head is pointed upand everything at where the goal
is, I don't.
I think I took maybe a dribbleand then I picked the ball up
and I shot it.
And I mean when I say the mostperfect form in basketball I've
(44:57):
ever shot, because I don't likeshooting free throws, but that
was probably the most perfectform free throw I had ever shot
in my life.
And so when I say that, when Itell you that was the most
perfect form nothing but net andI don't mean I just hit the net
(45:17):
, I went, it went in the basket,swish.
I said they were like nothingbut net.
I said, dang, I missed that bad.
They were like no, it went in.
I said I was like oh, and itwas like I was like I want to do
it one more time.
She's like okay, you want me tohit the goal?
I said, yeah, just do it once.
I said okay, and she boom.
And then she handed me the ballback and yes, I said she, it
was a female, she was doing thisfor me and I took the ball and
(45:46):
I shot it again.
Swish Again.
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, onemore time.
One more time.
She hit the goal and I took itone more time.
I was like, please don't let memiss this.
And so I shot it again.
Swish, three in a row.
She's like you want to keepgoing?
I said nope, I'm finishing ontop.
Trudie (46:02):
You've got that hat trick and the question I want to
ask with that is that it's beensaid that when you lose one of
your senses whether that'svision, hearing, taste, smell,
touch is that it heightens theother senses.
Do you believe that's true inyour case, that your other
(46:23):
senses have been heightened withthe loss of your sight?
Kijuan (46:25):
It absolutely makes you more reliant upon them, and what
you do is you just kind ofshift your focus, so your
brain's focus just shifts moretowards it.
With my hearing, I do have alittle bit of hearing loss, not
much, but a little bit ofhearing loss in my right ear,
and that's mainly due to twothings the plane that I was, on
(46:47):
the engines, I would sometimeshave my headset off.
The right ear the microphonewas attached to the left, so I
would never take that one off,because if I needed to speak I
would just already have that inmy face.
But the right side I wouldslide off because I can hear
people talking that are in thecockpit.
I can hear you because we'reclose quarters.
But if we got those engines onand I got that thing off, I mean
(47:10):
it sucks, because those thingsare loud.
They're not like, uh,commercial airlines, the, the,
the planes, uh, especially theone that I flew on.
It was built back in the 50sand so the, the insulation, is
nothing like commercialairliners.
You, the, when you get on acommercial airliner, be happy.
Ok, because we got to wearthese big old, bulky headsets
(47:35):
that are like noise, almostnoise canceling, and some people
do buy the noise cancelingheadsets, but I didn't have the
noise canceling ones.
Anyway, I I would have that offsometimes.
And the other thing that kindof messed up that hearing on my
right side is the drums, youknow, because it's so loud when
you play yeah, but hey, that's,that's all musicians that play
(47:58):
in loud.
You know live settings.
You're gonna lose some kind ofhearing unless you play with
some ear in-ear monitors, andthat's why I have these now
in-ear monitors, because theydeaden out the sound.
Trudie (48:11):
Got it.
The next question I have foryou, just on all of that, and
it's kind of just, you know, aswe've been going through your
story and I've kind of had this,oh, I forgot about that bit.
You said when you woke upyou're like oh my God, I'm
supposed to be at work.
How was it because obviouslyyou're still working with the
military at this stage how wasit to actually then deal with
(48:37):
the fact that you were going tohave to be discharged from the
military because that's the lifeyou had prior to your accident
and then return to civilian life, like?
What was that like?
Kijuan (48:49):
I think that might have been the heart, the hardest part
of the reality, because that,like I told you guys, that job
is nothing like it.
In-flight refueling just and Idare everybody who hears this,
please go look up what that isin-flight refueling.
Okay, because when you see thison youtube, google, wherever
(49:10):
you find it, you're going to belike there's no way he was doing
that.
Yes, it was me, and I was onthe KC 135.
If you want to know what kindof airplane that looks like,
just type that in and you'll seethe plane pop up.
And so when I was thinking aboutit, that's where the depression
and like suicidal thoughts camein, because I would be thinking
(49:34):
about this, not justdaydreaming.
Even when I'm asleep I'mdreaming about this.
I couldn't escape it.
And so now and I know it wasbecause I love the job, that was
the first thing I knew that,first and foremost, it was
because I loved the job.
That was the first thing I knewthat first and foremost, it was
because I loved the job.
So now that I can't escapethese thoughts and these dreams
(49:57):
that keep reappearing, literallyI'm looking at a jet and I
can't see a thing.
I'm looking at one, though mybrain is creating the image
that's behind me and I'msupposed to be refilling it when
I have these kind of thoughtsand these images, the imagery
just popping up in my head.
Trudie (50:24):
It was one of those moments where you knew it was
like it's never, it's nevergoing to happen again.
Kijuan (50:30):
That must have been devastating, yeah yeah.
Now you're faced with thisharsh reality and I had to make
sure that I didn't fall intodenial, because that was where
the suicidal part came from.
Oh no, it's going to come back.
My eyesight is going to comeback any day now.
Any day now.
I'm watching the CarolinaPanthers game and listening to
it on the TV, and I can listento this game all day long and I
(50:52):
fall asleep Right, and as I fallasleep, the game is on TV now,
but in my mind I am creating theimage and it seems like I'm
watching it.
So when I wake up to realizethat I'm still blind, just
imagine how that feels.
Trudie (51:11):
I can only begin to imagine.
Kijuan (51:13):
Yeah, so when I tell people, like I told my friend
today when I was on the phonewith him, I said, brother, when
you wake up and you wake upwithout sight, just imagine it.
Just imagine tomorrow you wakeup, open your eyes, and you
don't Just imagine tomorrow youwake up, open your eyes and you
don't see a thing.
I said that's basically what Iwoke up to when I was in that
(51:36):
hospital One day I had sight andthe next day I didn't.
Trudie (51:41):
And I suppose it's something.
It's a reality that you have towake up with every single day,
because when you go to sleep andthen you wake up first thing in
the morning, your natural thingis to like okay, open my eyes,
start my day, but you're leftwith this reality every single
day that life is dark, likethere is no.
There is no sight.
Kijuan (52:02):
Yeah, yeah, no, seriously, um, and I kind of
have learned.
I definitely had to learn todeal with this.
And he said it best.
He said, man, you've coped withthis well.
And I was like, yeah, but thereare days and don't get me wrong
(52:24):
Listen when I tell you I getgoing and I'm gone, I feel like
I'm looking at everything I'mdoing Because I'm so familiar
with the world.
You know, I can only imaginewhat it's like for those who've
never seen, because I do knowsome.
Some people like that.
They were born without sight.
(52:49):
But for me I have seen things.
So when I touch something or Ihear something, I envision it
and then I see it basically LikeI was just at the gym today
when I touched the bar.
I envision what I'm feeling.
Okay, these little bump dots onthe on the bar is greedy.
Okay, I know that that feelslike what it looks like.
Okay, is the smooth area?
Okay, that clink was the lockand I'm envisioning all of it.
Trudie (53:14):
I'm not even touching it , but I can hear it and I know
exactly what it is and justbased on what you said then, one
of the things that you actuallytold me in your application to
be on the podcast is and I lovedit Like it just gave me chills,
and it gives me chills now,even saying it back to you is
(53:35):
that you lost your sight, butnot your vision.
Kijuan (53:40):
Yeah.
Trudie (53:41):
Like such a powerful statement.
Kijuan (53:44):
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, I, I actually got that.
I mean, I didn't take it fromanybody.
What I'm saying is I got thatin a spiritual moment because
somebody was asking me something.
I was at church, actually, andthey, they just came up to me
and they're like, they justcalled me bro bro, how do you?
(54:05):
do it.
It was a young lady.
She said I might do what.
She's like I see you movingaround church and this is before
the pandemic and everything.
I just see you moving aroundthe church and flowing so freely
and you're always smiling andyou just move so carelessly like
nothing ever happened.
And I'm like, well, I know forsure it happened, but what do
(54:26):
you mean by that?
And she's like I just feel likeI should be happier in life
because I haven't been throughnearly as much as what you've
been through.
I said let me stop you there.
I don't want you to compareyour life to mine, because what
you're dealing with is valid.
So what I want you to do isrealize one thing about me yeah,
(54:49):
I might be walking around heresmiling, everything.
I know I lost my sight.
I know that part.
But what I didn't lose was myvision.
And she was like what?
And then she bursted out intears instantly.
She was like that made so muchsense and I was like well, the
(55:10):
thing about my vision is thatI've always wanted to help other
people, and so, yeah, I lost mysight, but I didn't lose my
vision, and that was to helppeople.
So when I'm out here mentoring.
I'm out here motivating,inspiring, coaching.
That's helping others.
Trudie (55:30):
Yeah, such a beautiful way to look at your life moving
forward.
I have a question inside ofthat did you go back and finish
your schooling?
Kijuan (55:42):
no no and I'm gonna tell you why.
A lot of people ask me that,well, you're gonna go back to
school, you should go back toschool.
And I said well, you know, thereason I was going to school was
for the military.
I'm no longer in it.
That was literally the onlyreason I was going to school was
for the military.
I'm no longer in it.
That was literally the onlyreason I was getting a degree
because I could go, I could bein the military without one.
First off, I had already had abusiness, so it wasn't like I
(56:05):
needed it for the business.
The only reason I needed mydegree at that time was to
commission that was it?
Trudie (56:15):
Yeah, and you said you had hopes of becoming a pilot.
Kijuan (56:19):
Yeah, that was the requirement.
You needed a degree.
So that was what I was gettingmy degree in and I loved
computers.
So that's why I chose thebackground that I was getting it
in.
It's because I love computers,I love electronics.
Trudie (56:34):
They're amazing to me.
And the other thing you saidwas and I go back, as you've
mentioned it a couple of times,like one, I can visually see
your drum set behind you, butyou said that you'd been playing
back in your church as well.
Tell me how music has beenhealing for you.
And I know the power of healingin music because my son uses
(56:57):
music and that's he's a dj andmusic producer and he uses it as
a healing form for himself.
So how has that been healingfor you?
Kijuan (57:07):
I'm gonna have to get, uh, your son's information,
anyway, no, so music is isawesome, first and foremost.
I actually go to music therapy.
That's how I'm learning thekeyboard right now Because, like
I told you, I've been playingdrums since I was seven, so I
know those, but I still, I stillam learning.
(57:28):
Don't get me wrong, because Itry to keep up with what's going
on now, what's relevant now inthe drummer's world community,
however you want to phrase it,but the keyboard I just started
learning in the pandemic 2020.
So I need to get back on it.
The thing is, I keep puttingother things on top of it, like
(57:51):
my business and things like that, so I put other things ahead of
it.
Music is healing because it doesactually vibe with your soul.
Your inner being loves music.
Now, be clear what music youfeed yourself will determine
(58:13):
your mood A hundred percent.
If you're always playing sadsongs, guess what you're going
to be Sad.
If you're out here playingangry, rage heavy metal, all
that crazy death metal stuff,guess what you're going to be.
You're going to be crazy andout of control.
You know what I mean and andeven with rap, the way it's
(58:38):
changed now, it's like it's not.
Trudie (58:40):
I wish somebody understood what I was saying,
because it's apparently thatpeople don't understand that rap
, hip-hop, all that stuff hasshifted so far left nowadays it
has, and I'll agree with that,because I'm a Gen X girl and I
grew up with traditional 80s rap, so the rap of today is not the
rap of yesteryear.
Kijuan (59:02):
Come on, come on now.
And so I'm a 90s baby, so whenyou hit the, even the 90s era
was was actually pretty cool inrapping and R&B and stuff like
that especially R&B, so I loverhythm and blues.
Neo soul is pretty good.
I grew up in the church, though, so gospel quartet, um, you
(59:22):
know things like that.
Yeah, the contemporary is okay,but it's getting a little too
far out there too, like likethey're they're actually.
Have you heard of afrobeat?
no so afrobeat came from gosh?
Please don't I hope I'm notsaying this incorrectly but I
think it's kenya.
It's from africa, of course,but I think it's kenya, don't.
(59:46):
If I misspoke, I'm sorry,they'll correct me, but anyway,
they're actually throwing thatin gospel music now and it's
actually for like rap songs,stuff that you rap on, you know,
and that's that's my thing,like trying to mix that stuff.
You're not supposed to do that.
You know what I mean.
So I don't know, I just try tostay in what I control or can't
(01:00:11):
control, to stay in what Icontrol or can't control.
And as far as music healing, ithas done a lot for me because I
listen to if I'm feeling acertain way, especially about my
day, if I need to get my daystarted.
There's this song out calledgood day by frank or forest
frank.
So if you've never heard of it,I hope you, guys, guys, can get
(01:00:33):
it in Australia.
I'm pretty sure you can, andthat is a song that will get you
going.
I mean, it's just such abeautiful song to start your day
.
And one lady that I was, I dida podcast and she's like do you,
what song do you listen to?
And I think she's from Canada.
And she's like and I told herthat one.
When she was like, oh, I don'tthink I've heard it, I said,
well, it goes like this and Istarted singing it to her I'm
(01:00:55):
about to have a good day inevery single way.
And she's like oh yeah, no, no,I do know that song, me, and my
kids listen to it every morningbefore they go to school.
Trudie (01:01:08):
That's so cool.
Kijuan (01:01:09):
Yeah, and I was like perfect, cool.
Yeah, and I was like perfect.
That's a great song for them tolisten to before they go to
school so they can have a goodday in every single way.
Trudie (01:01:21):
So yeah, I love that.
That you know inside of musicand healing and using it for
therapy is that you know evennow, just hearing you sing a
little bit, hearing you laugh,like you haven't lost the zest
for life, despite everythingyou've been through.
Kijuan (01:01:40):
Yeah, yeah, could have easily, and that's why I tell
somebody else I could haveeasily turned to the dark side
Easily.
And I don't say no pointintended, I don't the way I see.
Trudie (01:01:53):
I don't doubt that at all.
Um, but inside that, you'reusing that gift, I suppose, to
one become a motivationalspeaker and to create Amy
Motivation.
Yeah, tell me more about thatyeah, tell me more about that.
Kijuan (01:02:18):
Yeah, no, any motivation came about and and I had this
wasn't like uh, day one, oh, I'mgonna be a motivational speaker
.
Ah, listen, I have never, neverwanted to be a person that
stood in front of a bunch ofpeople just speaking.
Okay, never hear me.
Clearly now, in front of myfamily, my friends, I can be a
clown and get in front of me allday and joke.
I've done acting before.
(01:02:38):
I used to be an actor, like allof that stuff is cool, but when
you literally have to be theguru, the expert, the I know
what I'm talking about in frontof everybody that's in the
audience and they're juststaring at you, I never wanted
to be that, but you know, I gota superpower.
(01:03:00):
You want to know what it is?
Trudie (01:03:02):
Tell me I can't see you.
Kijuan (01:03:07):
Literally, I cannot see you.
So, whether it's me and you, orme and 1500 people in this room
, I can't see you.
My job is to deliver a messagethat impacts you, and that's
(01:03:27):
really what my mind was shiftedto, instead of me worrying about
how many people are there.
Did we sell any tickets?
Did this?
No man.
Hey, your job is to tell yourstory.
Your job is to motivate.
Your job is to inspire.
Your job is to impact, connect,change somebody's life For the
(01:03:58):
better.
And so when I got that mindsetand and just started attacking
things that way, everythingshift.
The doors started opening, Imean like floodgates.
Um, because I stopped worryingabout the wrong things, I
started worrying about thethings I can do versus the thing
I couldn't do.
Am Amy, motivation is not justabout me doing keynote speeches.
(01:04:20):
I also put videos of me workingout at the gym on Instagram.
Why do I do that?
It's not to show you my muscles.
It's to show you that this guythat was bedridden for two Well,
no, it was longer than that, itwas about four, four months
this guy that was bedridden forfour months is now bench
(01:04:43):
pressing over 225 pounds, is nowsquatting over 225 pounds, is
now deadlifting over 225 pounds.
25 pounds is now dead lifting,over 225 pounds.
That's what it is.
To show you that if I can getup out of a bed where I've been
literally, literally cut fromhead all the way down to my
right foot and can still do thatstuff, what's your excuse?
(01:05:09):
Because they've now called methe excuse destroyer.
Wow, so I suggest you get in,you should.
What's your excuse?
Because they now call me theexcuse destroyer.
Wow, so I suggest you get in,you should.
You should get on board.
That's what I suggest.
We can get on board and do thisthing together.
Trudie (01:05:28):
Let's be excuse destroyers.
You have literally hit me inall the fields and I'm like
there is no excuse, even in mylife right now, for whatever I
want to do, like that in aloneis just yeah Wow.
Kijuan (01:05:42):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean I talk about.
I talked about the adaptivesports I talked about and and
you know, I went.
I actually compete, not just,you know, participate, I compete
in adaptive sports as well.
So I've won medals.
I have actually been what doyou call it?
Invited to the Paralympicsrowing team for tryouts.
(01:06:07):
I've been invited to that.
That's so cool.
Team USA, by the way.
For people that don't know whatI'm talking about, I've been
invited to that.
That's so cool.
Team USA, by the way, forpeople that don't know what I'm
talking about, I've been invitedto those tryouts.
I don't just.
I mean, yes, I play the drumsand I've been playing for a long
time, but I do it very well.
It's not like I'm just playingthem, just to be playing them,
(01:06:29):
because that was something I didbefore.
No, I play them at a high level, to the point where I can
travel with people and be theirdrummer, and I do so much that
sometimes I forget, like eventhe book.
I forget that I wrote it.
Like, until somebody brings itup.
(01:06:49):
I forget that I wrote becausemy thought process was not to be
like yeah, I'm an author, whatyou going to say about that?
That was not what the book wasfor.
The book was to tell my side ofthe story and literally put you
in my shoes.
So you know these differentthings that I do the speaking,
(01:07:11):
the mentoring, the coaching, theambassadorship, because I'm an
ambassador as well.
I don't just do that for me,it's not to give notoriety to me
, it's to help and benefitothers.
Trudie (01:07:31):
I totally get that.
It's one of the reasons I wrotemy book after everything I'd
been through.
It's why I'm a life coach nowas well, it's why I do the
podcast to share other people'sstories, and I just think what
you have created out of suchadversity is commendable but
courageous, because most peoplewould literally give up and be
(01:07:57):
like life is over, and you haveturned it around and made it
into something so incrediblypowerful yeah, yeah, no well, I
want to thank you for being apart of the podcast.
Before I finish up, though, yourbook is available on Amazon for
(01:08:19):
my listeners.
Kijuan (01:08:21):
Yes, it's on Amazon, Audible, Kindle and Apple Books.
Trudie (01:08:27):
So people can get it from literally everywhere, which
is great.
I'm definitely going to get acopy myself.
I'm more curious to hear aboutyour story.
Kijuan (01:08:38):
Yeah, yeah oh.
By the way, the title is don'tfocus on why me from motorcycle
accident to miracle.
Trudie (01:08:47):
And you literally are a miracle, kiwan, like it has been
an absolute honor and privilegechatting with you today and
hearing your story, and I thinksome of your little life lessons
that you bring out throughoutthe episode will definitely
resonate with my listeners.
Kijuan (01:09:06):
Thank you.
I really appreciate you havingme on your platform to tell my
story.
Trudie (01:09:10):
You're most welcome, and I always finish the episode by
asking what is the one thing youare most grateful for today?
Kijuan (01:09:20):
Life Honestly, because I should not be here.
If you ask any surgeon who dida surgery on me, I should not be
here.
Trudie (01:09:32):
I've even talked to one.
Kijuan (01:09:34):
I have literally actually talked to one face to
face after my surgery and he waslike what the heck you know
Well let me just say I'm sograteful that you are here today
with us.
Trudie (01:09:49):
Thank you.
Kijuan (01:09:50):
Thank you, thank you.
Trudie (01:09:53):
Thank you for tuning in to the Everyday Warriors podcast
.
If you have an idea for afuture episode or a story you'd
like to share yourself, thenplease reach out and message me,
as I am always up for real, rawand authentic conversations
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Also, be sure to subscribe sothat you can download all the
(01:10:15):
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(01:10:35):
And remember lead with love asyou live this one wild and
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Welcome to the Everyday Warriors podcast, the perfect
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This podcast is aboutcelebrating everyday warriors,
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.
Join me, your host, trudy Marie, as I sit down with inspiring
(00:26):
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Let us all embrace the warriorwithin and realise that, while
(00:48):
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Please note that the followingpodcast may contain discussions
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(01:11):
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Remember that it is okay toprioritize your well-being and
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If you're looking for aninspiring story of resilience,
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It is my memoir of hiking the1,000 kilometre Bibbulmun Track,
(03:04):
a journey that was as muchabout finding my way back to
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Grab your copy now.
Just head to the link in theshow notes and let's take this
(03:27):
journey together.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Everyday Warriors podcast,
and I do have a special guestwith me today.
All the way from North Carolinain the United States, we are
literally 12 hours apart fromeach other, but somehow, with
(03:50):
the magic of technology, we arehere today.
So I would like to welcomeKiwan Kiwan Woodson.
Kijuan (03:57):
Hey how you doing Trudy.
Trudie (03:58):
Trudy, I'm really good.
How are you giving it yournight time in my morning?
Kijuan (04:04):
Kiwan Woodson yeah, yeah , so tell me about it.
Listen, the warrior isdefinitely coming from you
because you wake up bright andearly.
Trudie (04:11):
I did have to this morning to do this recording,
definitely, so I want to startyour story, kiwan.
I know you have an incrediblestory to tell, but take us back
around 10 years ago and tell uswhere you were in your life,
what you were up to.
Kijuan (04:30):
Yeah, so about 10 years ago, which would have been 2015,
I was just coming off activeduty.
I finished that commitment overthere and now I'm switching
over to the reserves.
My job was in the US Air Force,where I would be doing
in-flight refueling.
I was an in-flight refuelingspecialist, and that's where you
refuel planes in midair.
(04:52):
So just think about that for asecond.
It was a roller coaster ridefor sure.
Literally refueling planes inmidair, whether it was fighters,
bombers, cargo aircraft,reconnaissance planes, maybe
even other tankers, such as theone that I was on.
As long as it was able to berefueled, we would do it, and we
(05:15):
could also not only refuel AirForce planes, but we could also
refuel Navy as well as Marines.
So we were very versatile.
Trudie (05:24):
And where were you based out of at the time?
Kijuan (05:27):
Yeah, so I was stationed in North Carolina.
I mean, yes, I was born andraised in Durham, North Carolina
, but I also was stationed inNorth Carolina at Seymour
Johnson Air Force Base.
Trudie (05:39):
Okay, my husband was also in the US Air Force,
obviously retired now and livingin Australia, but there is that
connection there between usthat you know that, serving One
of the best branches ever.
I'm sure he says the same thing.
So, and in your life in general, what else were you up to?
Kijuan (06:03):
And in your life in general.
What else were you up to?
Yeah, so I, like I said, when Iwent to the reserves, my goal
was not just to be, you know,still doing my job that I was
doing on active duty, but I alsowanted to go to school full
time.
That was one of my main goals,even when I joined active duty,
was to get my schooling paid for, because if you did I think
it's three and a half years ofservice, active duty service and
(06:25):
you were dishonorable I meanhonorably discharged you could
get your schooling paid for fromany you know accredited school,
as long as, like I said, youhad an honorable discharge and
you did three and a half years.
Those were the requirementsthat were needed, requirements
that were needed Also.
Once I got that you knowcommitment completed, I would go
(06:52):
ahead and start doing my degree, which was in computer
information systems, with aspecialization in systems
analysis and integration.
A mouthful just to say hey, man, learn how to code.
And so I learned how to code.
I learned how to do a littlebit of websites and learn some
business lingo for thebusinesses and stuff like that
that I would have to work with.
And then I also wanted tocommission to become a pilot,
(07:18):
and so you need a four yeardegree in order to do that, and
I didn't have one yet becausethat was the reason I was going
to school your degree in orderto do that and I didn't have one
yet because that was the reasonI was going to school.
So that's what I was doing.
I had well, once you get to thepoint of my accident, I have
one year left to get it done.
So I was, you know, pushingreally hard, working, going to
school, even had my own business.
(07:39):
I was the CEO of my ownbusiness called Kiwi Enterprise.
So this is my second businessthat I'm going to be talking to
you about today.
My first one was KiwiEnterprise, where I did website
design and management, socialmedia marketing and photography
for small businesses and thosealike.
So, yeah, that's what I wasdoing.
I was also very active.
(08:00):
I always played sports, likegrowing up.
So growing up, I was outdoorkid and then, when I got to
middle school and high school, Iplayed football and ran track.
I tried basketball.
I didn't really like it.
I like I played pickup games,you know, at the gym, you know
stuff like that, but I did notlike organized ball.
It wasn't for me.
I'm too physical and rough forthat stuff.
(08:23):
They would have called a foulon me every play.
So I was like, yeah, no, I'mgoing to play something that's
physical, which was football.
And then in track, you know, Ijust ran and jumped.
I definitely loved jumping.
Jumping was my thing.
I did long jump and high jump.
I wanted to do triple jump butthey wouldn't let me.
I don't know why, and I didhurdles.
(08:45):
So yeah, I was pretty real, youknow, versed in a lot of things
.
I played in football.
I played pretty much anyposition other than on the line.
You know, I could play anything.
It did not matter because mymind just was queued up and the
IQ for it was just ready to go.
All the time it didn't matter.
Trudie (09:06):
So as soon as I switched in that role, I'm now that you
know so so let me get thisstraight you were in your
mid-20s, you'd come out ofactive duty, you were studying
hard at school, you wereextremely active off the field,
but very, very, very determinedas well.
Like you've already got yourfirst business started and like
(09:27):
you are going places.
Kijuan (09:30):
So how did?
Trudie (09:31):
that all change.
Kijuan (09:35):
Yeah.
So, like I mentioned, you know,I was trying to get my degree
so that I could commission to bea pilot.
Well, fast forward another twoyears so that I could commission
to be a pilot.
Well, fast forward another twoyears.
So you get what's that?
(09:56):
2017?
We would be in now, may of thistimeframe, and I was, of course,
I mean living the life.
I'm 25 years old at this timeand when I tell you, it seemed
like nothing could stop me.
I was doing everything Ipossibly wanted to do.
First and foremost, I meangoing on trips, not only for the
air force, but for myself.
If I wanted to go on a cruise,I'm gone.
You know things like that.
And so, when I tell you, I wasliving life, had a, you know,
had a girlfriend at the time,nice apartment, car, motorcycle,
(10:20):
everything business I'm doingit all.
You know.
Going to school and and cycleeverything business I'm doing it
all, you know.
Going to school and not justgoing to school.
I was actually making thedean's list.
You know what I mean.
So I'm not just just talkingabout, you know.
Oh, I'm getting a decent gradeand then I'm going.
Trudie (10:34):
No, I'm making A's you know, yeah, you're not just
cruising under the radar likeyou're literally working your
butt off to get where you wantedto be.
Yeah, and doing well at it.
When I had my accident, I had a3.87 GPA in college.
Kijuan (10:57):
That's incredible and I can remember it like it was
yesterday.
Yeah, I remember it like it wasyesterday.
You know, I took schoolseriously, like that was
something that I always tookseriously, like that was
something that I always tookseriously.
And so, anywho, getting back tothe story, you know that May
5th, which is the day of theaccident, so I kind of give you
(11:21):
a run up until the point, like Isaid, I was, I had my business,
qe Enterprise.
Well, that day I would jump onmy motorcycle because I wanted
to go take some pictures for oneof the businesses, one of the
websites, which is actually mychurch, my church's website.
I wanted to go update theirphotos on the website, because I
looked at the website and I waslike, oh God, this thing is so
out of date, you know, and Iwanted to, you know, spiff it up
(11:43):
, you know, because it seemedlike it was just kind of thrown
together.
You know, and and I wanted to,you know, spiff it up, you know,
because it seemed like it wasjust kind of thrown together,
you know, when you don't haveanybody, that's really a what
can I say?
a legitimate webmaster, whereassomebody like myself who
actually went and took classeson it.
You know what I mean.
So anybody can put together atemplate, you know.
But can you actually designthis thing even if you don't
(12:08):
have the templates, even if youdon't have this?
Oh, here's a plug in.
No, I knew how to write code ifI wanted something different.
You know, I was that person andso I was like, let me do this
for my church.
And I took it over, which was,you know, just something I
wanted to do and they didn't payme a dime.
I didn't want to be paid.
I wanted to do this for mychurch and so, like I said, I
(12:32):
jumped on my motorcycle myapartment to the church.
The drive, or ride, shall I say, was about give or take 10
minutes and for all my ridersyou know what I mean it was
probably shorter and so I getthere in about 10 minutes and
you know I'm taking the picturesof the outside.
I didn't have any access to theinside because I don't have a
(12:56):
key and stuff, but you know, Iwould definitely want to update
the outside pictures and so Iget all those pictures taken and
I'm like this is a really niceday, spring time, sun is out,
but there are clouds helpingblock it, so I'm not getting,
you know, wilted.
And the next thing, I know I'mlike, you know, I got some time
(13:20):
to kill.
I think I'm going to keepriding for a little bit, because
this 10 minute ride is notenough just to go put the bike
right back up in the garage.
And so I said, let me take off,I'm going to go to the lake and
I head off to Jordan Lake herein North Carolina for those
North Carolinians that know whatI'm talking about and that's
(13:40):
about 30 minutes from my church.
It's about a 30 minute ride,which is great.
That's a beautiful ride one way.
I head out that way and noproblem, I always go to the same
part of the lake.
By the way, on the cover, thebackdrop is, you know, trees, a
(14:09):
little bit of water off to theright, some rocks off to the
left and like a period slashdock that you can see you can't
see me, but you can see all thisother stuff and it's just that,
that scene.
And then you'll see amotorcycle kind of in the middle
of it.
Well, that was the cover designthat I came up with mentally
and that they stitched togetherfor the cover design editors.
(14:31):
They stitched it all togetherfor me, but that backdrop was
Jordan Lake, the actual placethat I went to go sit, and that
motorcycle was my actualmotorcycle.
Trudie (14:45):
I call her Nina I love that you name your motorcycle
yeah, yeah, I named all my cars,motorcycles, everything.
Kijuan (14:52):
I name it all.
Everybody has a different name.
So all of that that's on thecover and so that actual spot
that you can see, basicallylooking down the, the walkway of
the pier slash dock, that waswhere I would actually sit.
That that may 5th, um, beforemy my accident occurred, and so
(15:15):
I'm just sitting there and I gothere to like, meditate, zone
out, you know, just kind of beat peace.
You know it's so quiet, youdon't get a lot of traffic,
especially not during the day.
And this, like I said, was may5th 2017 what some might call
cinco de mayo I call my new lifejourney and a car would come by
(15:36):
on the highway and this ishighway 751 in north carolina
and, uh, I happened.
I got started, of course.
So now I'm looking at my watchand I'm like, oh snap, I got to
go because I had to work thatnight for the air force actually
that weekend.
And, um, I said, shoot, I gotto go, I got to go get you know,
go to work and get ready to getout of here.
And so I jump on the bike here,I go, well, on this back
(16:01):
highway, uh,1, it's like a twolane.
It's a two.
Well, it is not like it's a twolane road the lane that I'm in
and the lane that's coming thecars is coming past me, so all
is well there.
Ok, here, and then also in NorthCarolina, if you look at that
cover, you'll see tall trees.
(16:22):
Well, that's the same thing.
Along that back road was abunch of tall trees all the way
back.
The only time you didn't seetrees is at an intersection or
somebody's driveway or a gasstation, and then they had like
a produce farm out there youknow things like that where they
needed to be cut back.
(16:43):
Basically, well, as I'm riding,I had a helmet, full face.
Helmet, now, full face, that'sall I wore.
I don't wear the bucket, Idon't wear none of that.
The skull, whatever they callit, I don't wear none of that.
I wear full face and I alwayskeep my visor down, and so I
don't like bugs getting in, andso, as I'm riding, I have
(17:08):
bluetooth capability in myheadset on the right side and I
can listen to music, and so I'mnot sure if you're familiar with
bruno mars I am yes, so I again.
This is 2017 and more thanlikely listening to the Bruno
Mars 24 karat magic album, I amprobably jamming out because I
(17:34):
love music and for Trudy, shecan see behind me that I have
drums and a keyboard, so youknow I'm a musician.
I also do a little bit ofsinging, so music has been my
life for a long time and I'mloving this album.
I'm riding, just you know,enjoying the ride, and
(17:56):
everything was fine until itwasn't and that was when I would
be approaching an intersectionand a silver hondo court would
pull out in front of me and, asI always tell this story, I had
three options I could go rightand go into the trees that I
(18:18):
told you guys about.
I could go left and go into theoncoming traffic, because I did
mention to you all about that.
Or I could do what ended uphappening and freeze up and hit
him, because the thing is,people some people, not
everybody some people think thatmotorcycles can stop on a dime.
(18:39):
Oh, you would be right.
I'll give you the two reasonshow or ways, how.
The first way would be you lockup the front brake and you flip
off of it.
The second one would be you letthe bike, you laid the bike
down or had an accident,basically, like I did, the only
two ways that bike is going tostop like this.
(19:01):
Ok, so I stopped the bike, butit was because of a car got it
and I was the imprint, and sothat was where he would pull out
in front of me, like I said,and, uh, I would hit him.
Now, the reason I know aboutthis?
Because I honestly do notrecollect any, any of this.
(19:23):
I cannot recall, um, the actualaccident.
Now I do remember everythingleading up to it, like I told
you guys about the riding downthe street and all that, but the
actual accident, thank god,honestly, because I don't.
I don't think I want to reliveit.
The reason I know about it isfrom the police report, the
witnesses who wrote something onthe police report, what the
(19:46):
officers told my mom, the nurses, everybody, the word of mouth
is how I found out, and so onthe police report, man pulls out
in front of me.
Ok, now he's at fault, so itwas not my fault.
Two cars were behind him atthis intersection, same
(20:09):
intersection.
They wrote on the police report, they saw me coming, so they
don't know why he didn't.
And yes, I'm saying he, becauseit was a man according to the
police report.
I'm saying he because it was aman according to the police
report.
(20:31):
And so when I hear this, itinfuriates me Because now you
were distracted, that's all Icould think, if two cars behind
you can see me and you jump outin front of me, that means you
were distracted somehow, because, like I told y'all, every
intersection, every driveway,every gas station, all the trees
are cut back so you can seewhat's coming, because the speed
(20:53):
limit on this back road is 55miles an hour.
You do not want to pull out infront of, for example, another
truck or even like a 18-wheeler.
I told you there's a producefarm back there.
What if an 18-wheeler I toldyou there's a produce farm back
there.
What if an 18-wheeler carryingproduce came down the road at 55
, 60 miles an hour and youpulled out in front of it?
It's going to take you with it,a hundred percent, yeah.
(21:15):
So it was one of those thingswhere, you know, once I found
that out, I didn't want to bebothered, because he did want to
see me at the hospital when Ifinally woke up.
And I say finally because,after being life flighted to the
hospital, after being, you know, worked on with countless
(21:39):
surgeries for a month and a day,yeah, I didn't wake up until
June, the 6th of 2017.
Wow, yeah, I was in a medicallyinduced coma.
Trudie (21:53):
Okay, so just to like recap everything you've said,
you had gone out as part of yourday-to-day business doing
volunteer work, because you aregiving back to your church
community by helping them withtheir website.
It's a beautiful spring day.
You've decided to go out tothis lake that you always ride
(22:13):
out to have this beautifulmoment, meditating in nature,
driving home or riding homeready to go to work.
Everything is going beautifully.
You're listening to your music,having a great old time, and
then, in a split second, yourlife has completely changed
(22:34):
because of somebody's disregardfor the respect of driving a
vehicle on a road.
Kijuan (22:42):
Absolutely, you nailed it.
Trudie (22:45):
And you spent like you said.
You spent a month in an inducedcoma before you were able to
wake up, obviously havingmultiple surgeries.
And when you wake up, andobviously you're still in
hospital, how is life differentfor you?
Kijuan (23:02):
Is life different for you?
Well, first and foremost, Iwake up not really fully aware
of where I am.
I thought I was at home in mybedroom.
I'll be honest, I'm thinkingit's May 5th or May 6th.
I thought the day had justrestarted.
And so I wake up, but I'mhearing voices.
(23:23):
I'm like what the heck?
Who is in my room?
And so, oh, OK, that's mygirlfriend.
I know why she would be here.
Trudie (23:34):
Wait a minute.
What the heck is my mom?
Kijuan (23:35):
doing here?
Mom, I need you to get out ofhere.
I don't think I'm dressedappropriately for you to be in
here and that's all.
I'm sitting there thinking.
But then I'm listening to theconversation they're having,
because they are talking to eachother and I hear them talking
(23:55):
about some motorcycle accidentand I'm like who are they
talking about?
And I could not figure it out,because they're doing everything
generalized.
Well, I wish this would havenever happened and I just hope
he makes it out OK, and this,that and everything is general,
it's he, it's this, is that,it's I hope you know.
(24:16):
You know just the generalstatements and I'm like, will
somebody please say a name?
And not once.
Not once did they say a name.
And so now I'm fed up.
I'm like, forget it, I'm justgoing to wake up and ask them
who they talking about.
So I wake up.
Well, I was already awake butnow I'm revealing to them I'm
(24:38):
awake and that I've beeneavesdropping, and so I opened
my eye, only to not be able tosee anything.
So, yes, I woke up, without Isay it wasn't gradually taken
away from me.
And so I woke up, opened myeyes and I'm like wait a minute,
(25:03):
I can't see.
Ok, maybe my eyes just a littleblurry.
Let me try that again.
Is it dark in this room?
Okay, I can't see anything.
This is not fun.
And so now I don't like thegame that's being played.
So I go in and I'm trying tosay something.
I'm like maybe they did this.
(25:23):
And so, since it was two peoplein the room, like, oh, they
finna, fix this eye problemright now.
And I go to say something onlyto him, and now I can't talk
Because my jaw had been brokenand they wired it shut.
Trudie (25:48):
How did you feel in that moment?
Because to one wake up and notbe able to see, and you're not
knowing if this is permanent orif this is.
There's something over youreyes, but now you can't speak
either and communicate with thepeople in the room to tell them
you're actually awake.
What was that moment actuallylike for you?
Kijuan (26:09):
I think that was my first time ever panicking.
I think that was the first timein my life I had ever panicked
Because I didn't like what Iwhat was going on.
I felt like it was a nightmare.
I feel like I need to just goback to sleep and try this again
.
I need to wake up out of thedream.
You know how you feel like whenyou're in a bad dream.
(26:30):
You just wake up.
Wake up like, oh my God, I'm soglad that was a dream.
Yeah, no, mine wasn't.
I wish it was.
I wish that tonight, when I laydown and I wake up in the
morning, it'll be over.
Oh yeah, that was close.
That was a long seven years.
You know, that's what I'mwishing, that's what I hoped,
(26:55):
but now I've learned to livewith it.
But at that time, oh, it's panicmode, it is full on.
Hello, y'all gonna figure thisout because I don't like it.
Take this.
Whatever you got on my eyes,take it off.
And whatever y'all got me notnot to be able to speak, I want
it done.
Remove it now.
And so I'm trying my best tocommunicate is one of them on
(27:19):
each side.
So, like I said, my girlfriendand then my mom, and they were
on each side of my bed trying to, just trying to figure out what
I'm saying and my mom is likeslow down, calm down, and I'm
like calm down.
What you mean calm down?
How do you expect me to calmdown in a situation like this?
You know, that's all I'mthinking.
(27:40):
I'm doing my best to relaymessages through my teeth,
basically because you can't,when your mouth is wired shut,
you can't even separate yourteeth.
For those who did not know, youcannot separate your teeth.
It's not just you know, you'reholding your mouth closed,
(28:03):
trying to be a ventriloquist,you know, or something.
No, it's not that.
This is literally no movementof the jaw.
She, she, she, hands, she, shefinally says hold on, hold on.
And then I say, um, whatever,you know, I'm just fed up at
this point, whatever.
And she says here, and I'm likewhat?
(28:25):
And she's like hold out yourhands.
And so I hold out my hands andshe puts a notepad and a pencil
in it and I say, well, I didn'tsay anything.
I gave.
That was probably the meanestside eye I had ever given my mom
in my life.
Okay, and I meant that thing Iwas like really, are you serious
(28:48):
right now?
how am I supposed to do this?
I can't see, and I keeppointing at myself.
I'm trying to talk it, but I'mpointing.
Trudie (29:03):
So at this point they didn't know that your site was
taken, that you couldn't see.
Oh they knew.
Kijuan (29:09):
They knew.
That's why she gave it to me,because she was like but you've
been writing and I'm like, no, Ihaven't, I just woke up.
So apparently my subconsciouswas able just please just write
it down.
Try not to write over top ofwhat you've already wrote.
(29:40):
And I'm like, when I tell youI'm frustrated at this point,
that doesn't even begin todescribe me, like you know.
You know how you see cartoonsand their head pops off and
stuff.
That's what I'm doing right now.
And so I'm like, whatever, I'mgonna write this down.
If I write over top of something, I don't care.
You shouldn't have gave me thepaper.
I don't really care, huh.
(30:01):
And I shove it back at her whenshe reads it and I basically
ask her the question, saying um,what is this motorcycle
accident dream you guys aretalking about?
And she reads that and then sheturns back to me and says
that's not a dream, that's whathappened to you.
And I don't know if you've everheard the phrase that says felt
(30:29):
like you got hit with a ton ofbricks but that's what felt,
like you got hit with a ton ofbricks, but that's what it felt
like.
Trudie (30:39):
I got hit with a ton of bricks.
I can only begin to imagine,like even sitting here,
listening to you retell thatstory.
I'm sitting here trying toimagine that frustration and
anguish of I'm lying here,waking up, feeling like I've
just woken up from a dream.
I can hear these people talkingabout a motorcycle accident.
(31:01):
I try to open my eyes, I can'tsee.
I try to open my mouth, I can'tspeak.
My mum's asking me to writeshit down and I'm like I don't
know what I'm doing here.
And then she turns and says toyou we're talking about you,
this is what's happened.
Kijuan (31:18):
Like that's a life-changing moment in itself
you're telling me without allthe emotion that goes along with
it well, just imagine goingfrom I'm gonna play a funny joke
and I'm going to act like I'masleep, to waking up to a panic,
to going from panic tofrustration, to going from
(31:40):
frustration to holy crap,completion of the shock.
And this is in less than 30minutes, by the way, those are
all the emotions I went throughand I, after you know she, told
(32:00):
me that, um, I didn't.
I didn't interact with anybodyfor the rest of that day, and
probably not until the next dayor so, because now I'm, my brain
is trying to get wrapped aroundit.
Trudie (32:10):
Yeah, you're trying to process that news.
Kijuan (32:13):
Well, I'm a critical thinker, I'm a huge critical
thinker.
So my brain is like, well, howin the heck did this happen?
And I never was asked thequestion until like a day or two
later, whatever.
I don't remember how long agoor how long it took me, but I
know for sure it was another day.
It was not the same day.
I do know that much.
(32:34):
So, as I'm processing all this,the worst thing to happen is to
allow your brain just to sitidle with these thoughts.
And the reason I say that isbecause I created so many
different scenarios in how thiscould happen to me, different
scenarios in how this could havehappened to me, and none of
them were that.
(32:54):
None of them were this guypulled out in front of me and
you know where I was like.
I was like, wait a minute, Icould have sworn.
I went to, didn't I have my car?
Oh yeah, that's right, I did gohome, you know, and my brain is
trying to process the entiresituation.
But when you come out ofanesthesia, when you come out of
(33:17):
uh or being on opioids cause Iwas on oxycodone, I was on all
these different drugs, sleepingmedications, like when your
blood pressure medication whenyou're coming from all these
different medications and drugsand your brain has the fog of
(33:37):
the Middle East in fall, becauseif you've ever been to the
Middle East in fall, it's somebad fog.
This is terrible what I'mdealing with at this point.
You know what I mean.
So my thought process behind it, and I can man I.
(33:57):
It's hard to relive it becausethe emotions that come back from
it Sometimes I get chills whenI think about it those emotions
were just jumping every whichaway and I'm even still thinking
wait a minute, I got to go towork Because I don't even know
what.
I still have yet to ask what dayit is.
By the way, I found out whatday it was because I asked the
(34:23):
next day.
That was when I came back totalking, because I asked the
next day what happened, and soall I did was backtrack one day
to find out what day I actuallywoke up.
And so I'm just thinking it's,it's daggum, you know, still May
, and I still got to go to work.
Like I'm thinking, maybe it'sMay 6th versus May 5th now, and
(34:46):
I'm waking up a day later in thehospital, uh, just not unable
to move, but I'm thinking I gotto go to work.
I'm thinking the Air Force isgoing to consider me AWOL and
they're going to put me in jail,like literally.
These are the thoughts thatcrossed my mind.
Trudie (35:06):
You're literally trying to make sense of your new
reality, where you are, whatyou're doing, what you're
supposed to be doing, and youknow how much time has even
passed, like that's a wholelevel of utter confusion for
anybody to actually go throughand experience.
(35:27):
And you're doing this withoutyour sight and without being
able to talk, like your basicsenses have been taken from you
yeah, yeah, I couldn't talk,couldn't, uh see, couldn't even
smell.
Kijuan (35:41):
I didn't realize I couldn't smell yet and that was
due to the reconstructivesurgery that they had to do on
my face, because my face wascrushed in.
Trudie (35:59):
So I have two metal plates in my head, okay, so
Trudy, can you see this littlecurve right here?
Kijuan (36:03):
I can see that scar.
Yeah, that's a metal plateright there.
Trudie (36:06):
So let me ask you this You've woken up in the hospital,
25 years of age, with a majorlife shift.
Of life will never be the sameagain.
How did you move forward fromthat?
Kijuan (36:24):
Well, first off, it wasn't easy and it was not the
next day the biggest thing thathelped me, because I I'm one of
the what was, shall I say, oneof the safer riders you would,
you would have ran into as faras motorcyclists, no point in
running to.
But the thing is, once I wastold that it was not my fault,
(36:51):
once I was told that it was notmy fault, it took a lot of
stress off of me Because I feltat some point I was like, how
did I do this?
Like, what, what?
What did I do?
And I just kept thinking it wasme.
And then, when my mom finallytold me it was somebody else, I
said, wait, what?
Ok, yes, that does take someweight off me.
But wait, what?
Like who is this person?
(37:13):
I to no, I don't want to know.
But you know, I kept going backand forth.
I want to know, no, I don'twant to know, I want to know I
might jump on him and I'm justthat's all I'm thinking, and I'm
because I'm literally goingback and forth that I either
gonna hurt this man or I want toknow this man.
I didn't know what to dobecause you changed my life
forever.
Trudie (37:35):
A hundred percent.
Kijuan (37:36):
Yeah, like I told you, he did want to see me.
And when I, when I finally wokeup, he, he reached out to, I
guess, the lawyers that we wereshowing him with to get in touch
with my mom and tried to comeup to the hospital to, at least
you know, apologize andeverything.
And I just I couldn't at thattime, I could not handle that, I
(38:01):
couldn't.
I said no, no, do you want meto go to jail?
And my mom was like what I said, do you want me to go to jail?
And she was like what do youmean?
I was like what I said do youwant me to go to jail?
And she was like what do youmean?
I was like I'm going to find away to get a hold of him because
he changed my life.
I mean, since then it took acouple of a little while, maybe
(38:22):
a couple of years, but I havesince then forgiven him.
I have, and I cannot lie, I didforgive him.
But at that time, oh no, weputting on gloves, we getting in
the boxing ring, everything.
Oh, it's going to be KangarooJack.
Trudie (38:42):
A little Aussie reference there.
Look, what's there for me isthat I don't think anybody
listening to your story would beable to say that they takes an
incredible human being to dothat, because most people would
(39:16):
not get to that stage.
Kijuan (39:19):
Right, yeah, and that's where my faith came in, though,
like I was still a faithbeliever, because that's one of
the biggest things that got meover and got me through this,
and it's still getting methrough it today.
Not only am I a musician, but Iplay at my church.
You know, I play drums at mychurch, so, and I've been
(39:41):
playing since I was 10 or 12 atmy church can't remember now,
I'm 33 now but uh, I startedplaying the drums at seven, but
I started playing at my churchabout somewhere around 10 or 12,
something like that.
Trudie (39:56):
I love that and that you still give back to your
community in that way and youwill get into the music part of
it later, but it's such anincredibly beautiful gift to
give back.
Kijuan (40:08):
Yes, it is.
Trudie (40:10):
So tell me, after your accident accident and obviously
everything you've been through,all the rehabilitation you've
got to go through, learning tolive life again, because
literally some of your you likeone of your main senses has been
taken from you what was theturning point after the accident
that had you kind of go throughit?
Because I'm guessing thatduring this time you're probably
(40:33):
like and forgive me if I'mwrong in saying this, but you're
probably like I just wish Iwasn't here, I wish I'd just
been taken that day.
Kijuan (40:43):
Yeah, I had those thoughts we call those suicidal
thoughts and I definitely hadthose ideations, for sure.
Trudie (40:51):
And I don't doubt that at all.
Kijuan (40:53):
So what was the?
Trudie (40:54):
turning point.
Then, after the accident thathad you go no, this is my life
and this is how I'm going tolive it.
Kijuan (41:05):
It had to do a little bit with.
You know the people around meand that kept coming to.
You know, visit me, wanting totalk, call and talk to me.
And then you had the just asure mindset of, oh there are
things that I can do, Like what?
(41:26):
And I got curious.
So now I'm curious.
Not only am I doing, you knowphysical therapy, because I did
have to learn how to walk again,so not only am I learning how
you know doing physical therapy,orientation and mobility, which
is learning how to use a whitecane and navigate different
areas, such as your house.
Or if you, if you worked yourjob, they teach you how to
(41:48):
navigate around your job.
Or if you went to school, theyteach you how to navigate a
school, different things likethat.
I am also now able to do sports.
Are you serious?
And I told y'all how I was backin school I played football,
ran track and I played pickupbasketball.
Now, okay, I can't playfootball anymore.
(42:08):
I don't want to get hit with aball or a person.
I don't want to get hit with aball or a person.
I don't want to get hit witheither one of those a ball or a
person.
Ok, they both hurt.
If you can't see it.
And now running, I can still do.
I can still hit a track if Iwanted to.
I don't know if I want to dotoo much jumping because of the
metal parts that are in thereand the land is not as as good
(42:30):
as it used to be.
It's not as soft as it used tobe.
I can, if I want to run, though.
I've done shot put, I've donediscus, I've done rowing, I've
done archery, I've done airrifle power lifting.
Trudie (42:51):
I feel like I'm forgetting one of them.
Sheesh, the fact that you'vejust listed off all those things
that you have done since losingyour sight is incredible,
because most people don't do asingle one of those things and
have full vision.
Kijuan (43:03):
Yeah, I did rock climbing.
I've done downhill skiing onreal snow not the artificial
stuff on real snow in Vermont.
I actually did that last year.
What a bowling.
I mean, listen, I've actuallyshot basketball before too, and
(43:23):
I'm going to tell you how I didit, because some people probably
like, well, how do you do that?
He can't see the goal?
You know, ok, you're right, Icannot see it.
But what I did was I was placedat this free throw line.
First.
The person who I was with tookthe ball and they got up under
the rim and they hit the frontof the rim with the basketball
(43:46):
three different times.
They were like, ok, I'm aboutto hit it now, and they would
throw the ball up.
Boom, ok, I'm gauging it, I'mabout to hit it now, and they
would throw the ball up.
I was like, okay, I'm gaugingit, I'm gauging it.
And then they said, all right,I'm gonna hit it again now.
Okay, oh, yeah, yeah, I gotthis.
And then they're going to do itone more time.
Okay, yes, okay, I'm ready,give me the ball.
(44:08):
And I did not move my head tosave my life, like my head would
not move.
I made sure it didn't movebecause that was where the goal
was, was where my head was.
Now my arms have to judge thedistance based off the sound
that I was hearing, and so thosesound waves that kept traveling
(44:32):
from the goal to my ears iswhat I was gauging my hearing
off of in the distance, the timeand distance.
I was a math major, by the way,and so now, as I'm using time
and distance and I will and I'mfocused in on where the goalie
is like my head is pointed upand everything at where the goal
is, I don't.
I think I took maybe a dribbleand then I picked the ball up
and I shot it.
And I mean when I say the mostperfect form in basketball I've
(44:57):
ever shot, because I don't likeshooting free throws, but that
was probably the most perfectform free throw I had ever shot
in my life.
And so when I say that, when Itell you that was the most
perfect form nothing but net andI don't mean I just hit the net
(45:17):
, I went, it went in the basket,swish.
I said they were like nothingbut net.
I said, dang, I missed that bad.
They were like no, it went in.
I said I was like oh, and itwas like I was like I want to do
it one more time.
She's like okay, you want me tohit the goal?
I said, yeah, just do it once.
I said okay, and she boom.
And then she handed me the ballback and yes, I said she, it
was a female, she was doing thisfor me and I took the ball and
(45:46):
I shot it again.
Swish Again.
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, onemore time.
One more time.
She hit the goal and I took itone more time.
I was like, please don't let memiss this.
And so I shot it again.
Swish, three in a row.
She's like you want to keepgoing?
I said nope, I'm finishing ontop.
Trudie (46:02):
You've got that hat trick and the question I want to
ask with that is that it's beensaid that when you lose one of
your senses whether that'svision, hearing, taste, smell,
touch is that it heightens theother senses.
Do you believe that's true inyour case, that your other
(46:23):
senses have been heightened withthe loss of your sight?
Kijuan (46:25):
It absolutely makes you more reliant upon them, and what
you do is you just kind ofshift your focus, so your
brain's focus just shifts moretowards it.
With my hearing, I do have alittle bit of hearing loss, not
much, but a little bit ofhearing loss in my right ear,
and that's mainly due to twothings the plane that I was, on
(46:47):
the engines, I would sometimeshave my headset off.
The right ear the microphonewas attached to the left, so I
would never take that one off,because if I needed to speak I
would just already have that inmy face.
But the right side I wouldslide off because I can hear
people talking that are in thecockpit.
I can hear you because we'reclose quarters.
But if we got those engines onand I got that thing off, I mean
(47:10):
it sucks, because those thingsare loud.
They're not like, uh,commercial airlines, the, the,
the planes, uh, especially theone that I flew on.
It was built back in the 50sand so the, the insulation, is
nothing like commercialairliners.
You, the, when you get on acommercial airliner, be happy.
Ok, because we got to wearthese big old, bulky headsets
(47:35):
that are like noise, almostnoise canceling, and some people
do buy the noise cancelingheadsets, but I didn't have the
noise canceling ones.
Anyway, I I would have that offsometimes.
And the other thing that kindof messed up that hearing on my
right side is the drums, youknow, because it's so loud when
you play yeah, but hey, that's,that's all musicians that play
(47:58):
in loud.
You know live settings.
You're gonna lose some kind ofhearing unless you play with
some ear in-ear monitors, andthat's why I have these now
in-ear monitors, because theydeaden out the sound.
Trudie (48:11):
Got it.
The next question I have foryou, just on all of that, and
it's kind of just, you know, aswe've been going through your
story and I've kind of had this,oh, I forgot about that bit.
You said when you woke upyou're like oh my God, I'm
supposed to be at work.
How was it because obviouslyyou're still working with the
military at this stage how wasit to actually then deal with
(48:37):
the fact that you were going tohave to be discharged from the
military because that's the lifeyou had prior to your accident
and then return to civilian life, like?
What was that like?
Kijuan (48:49):
I think that might have been the heart, the hardest part
of the reality, because that,like I told you guys, that job
is nothing like it.
In-flight refueling just and Idare everybody who hears this,
please go look up what that isin-flight refueling.
Okay, because when you see thison youtube, google, wherever
(49:10):
you find it, you're going to belike there's no way he was doing
that.
Yes, it was me, and I was onthe KC 135.
If you want to know what kindof airplane that looks like,
just type that in and you'll seethe plane pop up.
And so when I was thinking aboutit, that's where the depression
and like suicidal thoughts camein, because I would be thinking
(49:34):
about this, not justdaydreaming.
Even when I'm asleep I'mdreaming about this.
I couldn't escape it.
And so now and I know it wasbecause I love the job, that was
the first thing I knew that,first and foremost, it was
because I loved the job.
That was the first thing I knewthat first and foremost, it was
because I loved the job.
So now that I can't escapethese thoughts and these dreams
(49:57):
that keep reappearing, literallyI'm looking at a jet and I
can't see a thing.
I'm looking at one, though mybrain is creating the image
that's behind me and I'msupposed to be refilling it when
I have these kind of thoughtsand these images, the imagery
just popping up in my head.
Trudie (50:24):
It was one of those moments where you knew it was
like it's never, it's nevergoing to happen again.
Kijuan (50:30):
That must have been devastating, yeah yeah.
Now you're faced with thisharsh reality and I had to make
sure that I didn't fall intodenial, because that was where
the suicidal part came from.
Oh no, it's going to come back.
My eyesight is going to comeback any day now.
Any day now.
I'm watching the CarolinaPanthers game and listening to
it on the TV, and I can listento this game all day long and I
(50:52):
fall asleep Right, and as I fallasleep, the game is on TV now,
but in my mind I am creating theimage and it seems like I'm
watching it.
So when I wake up to realizethat I'm still blind, just
imagine how that feels.
Trudie (51:11):
I can only begin to imagine.
Kijuan (51:13):
Yeah, so when I tell people, like I told my friend
today when I was on the phonewith him, I said, brother, when
you wake up and you wake upwithout sight, just imagine it.
Just imagine tomorrow you wakeup, open your eyes, and you
don't Just imagine tomorrow youwake up, open your eyes and you
don't see a thing.
I said that's basically what Iwoke up to when I was in that
(51:36):
hospital One day I had sight andthe next day I didn't.
Trudie (51:41):
And I suppose it's something.
It's a reality that you have towake up with every single day,
because when you go to sleep andthen you wake up first thing in
the morning, your natural thingis to like okay, open my eyes,
start my day, but you're leftwith this reality every single
day that life is dark, likethere is no.
There is no sight.
Kijuan (52:02):
Yeah, yeah, no, seriously, um, and I kind of
have learned.
I definitely had to learn todeal with this.
And he said it best.
He said, man, you've coped withthis well.
And I was like, yeah, but thereare days and don't get me wrong
(52:24):
Listen when I tell you I getgoing and I'm gone, I feel like
I'm looking at everything I'mdoing Because I'm so familiar
with the world.
You know, I can only imaginewhat it's like for those who've
never seen, because I do knowsome.
Some people like that.
They were born without sight.
(52:49):
But for me I have seen things.
So when I touch something or Ihear something, I envision it
and then I see it basically LikeI was just at the gym today
when I touched the bar.
I envision what I'm feeling.
Okay, these little bump dots onthe on the bar is greedy.
Okay, I know that that feelslike what it looks like.
Okay, is the smooth area?
Okay, that clink was the lockand I'm envisioning all of it.
Trudie (53:14):
I'm not even touching it , but I can hear it and I know
exactly what it is and justbased on what you said then, one
of the things that you actuallytold me in your application to
be on the podcast is and I lovedit Like it just gave me chills,
and it gives me chills now,even saying it back to you is
(53:35):
that you lost your sight, butnot your vision.
Kijuan (53:40):
Yeah.
Trudie (53:41):
Like such a powerful statement.
Kijuan (53:44):
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, I, I actually got that.
I mean, I didn't take it fromanybody.
What I'm saying is I got thatin a spiritual moment because
somebody was asking me something.
I was at church, actually, andthey, they just came up to me
and they're like, they justcalled me bro bro, how do you?
(54:05):
do it.
It was a young lady.
She said I might do what.
She's like I see you movingaround church and this is before
the pandemic and everything.
I just see you moving aroundthe church and flowing so freely
and you're always smiling andyou just move so carelessly like
nothing ever happened.
And I'm like, well, I know forsure it happened, but what do
(54:26):
you mean by that?
And she's like I just feel likeI should be happier in life
because I haven't been throughnearly as much as what you've
been through.
I said let me stop you there.
I don't want you to compareyour life to mine, because what
you're dealing with is valid.
So what I want you to do isrealize one thing about me yeah,
(54:49):
I might be walking around heresmiling, everything.
I know I lost my sight.
I know that part.
But what I didn't lose was myvision.
And she was like what?
And then she bursted out intears instantly.
She was like that made so muchsense and I was like well, the
(55:10):
thing about my vision is thatI've always wanted to help other
people, and so, yeah, I lost mysight, but I didn't lose my
vision, and that was to helppeople.
So when I'm out here mentoring.
I'm out here motivating,inspiring, coaching.
That's helping others.
Trudie (55:30):
Yeah, such a beautiful way to look at your life moving
forward.
I have a question inside ofthat did you go back and finish
your schooling?
Kijuan (55:42):
no no and I'm gonna tell you why.
A lot of people ask me that,well, you're gonna go back to
school, you should go back toschool.
And I said well, you know, thereason I was going to school was
for the military.
I'm no longer in it.
That was literally the onlyreason I was going to school was
for the military.
I'm no longer in it.
That was literally the onlyreason I was getting a degree
because I could go, I could bein the military without one.
First off, I had already had abusiness, so it wasn't like I
(56:05):
needed it for the business.
The only reason I needed mydegree at that time was to
commission that was it?
Trudie (56:15):
Yeah, and you said you had hopes of becoming a pilot.
Kijuan (56:19):
Yeah, that was the requirement.
You needed a degree.
So that was what I was gettingmy degree in and I loved
computers.
So that's why I chose thebackground that I was getting it
in.
It's because I love computers,I love electronics.
Trudie (56:34):
They're amazing to me.
And the other thing you saidwas and I go back, as you've
mentioned it a couple of times,like one, I can visually see
your drum set behind you, butyou said that you'd been playing
back in your church as well.
Tell me how music has beenhealing for you.
And I know the power of healingin music because my son uses
(56:57):
music and that's he's a dj andmusic producer and he uses it as
a healing form for himself.
So how has that been healingfor you?
Kijuan (57:07):
I'm gonna have to get, uh, your son's information,
anyway, no, so music is isawesome, first and foremost.
I actually go to music therapy.
That's how I'm learning thekeyboard right now Because, like
I told you, I've been playingdrums since I was seven, so I
know those, but I still, I stillam learning.
(57:28):
Don't get me wrong, because Itry to keep up with what's going
on now, what's relevant now inthe drummer's world community,
however you want to phrase it,but the keyboard I just started
learning in the pandemic 2020.
So I need to get back on it.
The thing is, I keep puttingother things on top of it, like
(57:51):
my business and things like that, so I put other things ahead of
it.
Music is healing because it doesactually vibe with your soul.
Your inner being loves music.
Now, be clear what music youfeed yourself will determine
(58:13):
your mood A hundred percent.
If you're always playing sadsongs, guess what you're going
to be Sad.
If you're out here playingangry, rage heavy metal, all
that crazy death metal stuff,guess what you're going to be.
You're going to be crazy andout of control.
You know what I mean and andeven with rap, the way it's
(58:38):
changed now, it's like it's not.
Trudie (58:40):
I wish somebody understood what I was saying,
because it's apparently thatpeople don't understand that rap
, hip-hop, all that stuff hasshifted so far left nowadays it
has, and I'll agree with that,because I'm a Gen X girl and I
grew up with traditional 80s rap, so the rap of today is not the
rap of yesteryear.
Kijuan (59:02):
Come on, come on now.
And so I'm a 90s baby, so whenyou hit the, even the 90s era
was was actually pretty cool inrapping and R&B and stuff like
that especially R&B, so I loverhythm and blues.
Neo soul is pretty good.
I grew up in the church, though, so gospel quartet, um, you
(59:22):
know things like that.
Yeah, the contemporary is okay,but it's getting a little too
far out there too, like likethey're they're actually.
Have you heard of afrobeat?
no so afrobeat came from gosh?
Please don't I hope I'm notsaying this incorrectly but I
think it's kenya.
It's from africa, of course,but I think it's kenya, don't.
(59:46):
If I misspoke, I'm sorry,they'll correct me, but anyway,
they're actually throwing thatin gospel music now and it's
actually for like rap songs,stuff that you rap on, you know,
and that's that's my thing,like trying to mix that stuff.
You're not supposed to do that.
You know what I mean.
So I don't know, I just try tostay in what I control or can't
(01:00:11):
control, to stay in what Icontrol or can't control.
And as far as music healing, ithas done a lot for me because I
listen to if I'm feeling acertain way, especially about my
day, if I need to get my daystarted.
There's this song out calledgood day by frank or forest
frank.
So if you've never heard of it,I hope you, guys, guys, can get
(01:00:33):
it in Australia.
I'm pretty sure you can, andthat is a song that will get you
going.
I mean, it's just such abeautiful song to start your day
.
And one lady that I was, I dida podcast and she's like do you,
what song do you listen to?
And I think she's from Canada.
And she's like and I told herthat one.
When she was like, oh, I don'tthink I've heard it, I said,
well, it goes like this and Istarted singing it to her I'm
(01:00:55):
about to have a good day inevery single way.
And she's like oh yeah, no, no,I do know that song, me, and my
kids listen to it every morningbefore they go to school.
Trudie (01:01:08):
That's so cool.
Kijuan (01:01:09):
Yeah, and I was like perfect, cool.
Yeah, and I was like perfect.
That's a great song for them tolisten to before they go to
school so they can have a goodday in every single way.
Trudie (01:01:21):
So yeah, I love that.
That you know inside of musicand healing and using it for
therapy is that you know evennow, just hearing you sing a
little bit, hearing you laugh,like you haven't lost the zest
for life, despite everythingyou've been through.
Kijuan (01:01:40):
Yeah, yeah, could have easily, and that's why I tell
somebody else I could haveeasily turned to the dark side
Easily.
And I don't say no pointintended, I don't the way I see.
Trudie (01:01:53):
I don't doubt that at all.
Um, but inside that, you'reusing that gift, I suppose, to
one become a motivationalspeaker and to create Amy
Motivation.
Yeah, tell me more about thatyeah, tell me more about that.
Kijuan (01:02:18):
Yeah, no, any motivation came about and and I had this
wasn't like uh, day one, oh, I'mgonna be a motivational speaker
.
Ah, listen, I have never, neverwanted to be a person that
stood in front of a bunch ofpeople just speaking.
Okay, never hear me.
Clearly now, in front of myfamily, my friends, I can be a
clown and get in front of me allday and joke.
I've done acting before.
(01:02:38):
I used to be an actor, like allof that stuff is cool, but when
you literally have to be theguru, the expert, the I know
what I'm talking about in frontof everybody that's in the
audience and they're juststaring at you, I never wanted
to be that, but you know, I gota superpower.
(01:03:00):
You want to know what it is?
Trudie (01:03:02):
Tell me I can't see you.
Kijuan (01:03:07):
Literally, I cannot see you.
So, whether it's me and you, orme and 1500 people in this room
, I can't see you.
My job is to deliver a messagethat impacts you, and that's
(01:03:27):
really what my mind was shiftedto, instead of me worrying about
how many people are there.
Did we sell any tickets?
Did this?
No man.
Hey, your job is to tell yourstory.
Your job is to motivate.
Your job is to inspire.
Your job is to impact, connect,change somebody's life For the
(01:03:58):
better.
And so when I got that mindsetand and just started attacking
things that way, everythingshift.
The doors started opening, Imean like floodgates.
Um, because I stopped worryingabout the wrong things, I
started worrying about thethings I can do versus the thing
I couldn't do.
Am Amy, motivation is not justabout me doing keynote speeches.
(01:04:20):
I also put videos of me workingout at the gym on Instagram.
Why do I do that?
It's not to show you my muscles.
It's to show you that this guythat was bedridden for two Well,
no, it was longer than that, itwas about four, four months
this guy that was bedridden forfour months is now bench
(01:04:43):
pressing over 225 pounds, is nowsquatting over 225 pounds, is
now deadlifting over 225 pounds.
25 pounds is now dead lifting,over 225 pounds.
That's what it is.
To show you that if I can getup out of a bed where I've been
literally, literally cut fromhead all the way down to my
right foot and can still do thatstuff, what's your excuse?
(01:05:09):
Because they've now called methe excuse destroyer.
Wow, so I suggest you get in,you should.
What's your excuse?
Because they now call me theexcuse destroyer.
Wow, so I suggest you get in,you should.
You should get on board.
That's what I suggest.
We can get on board and do thisthing together.
Trudie (01:05:28):
Let's be excuse destroyers.
You have literally hit me inall the fields and I'm like
there is no excuse, even in mylife right now, for whatever I
want to do, like that in aloneis just yeah Wow.
Kijuan (01:05:42):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean I talk about.
I talked about the adaptivesports I talked about and and
you know, I went.
I actually compete, not just,you know, participate, I compete
in adaptive sports as well.
So I've won medals.
I have actually been what doyou call it?
Invited to the Paralympicsrowing team for tryouts.
(01:06:07):
I've been invited to that.
That's so cool.
Team USA, by the way.
For people that don't know whatI'm talking about, I've been
invited to that.
That's so cool.
Team USA, by the way, forpeople that don't know what I'm
talking about, I've been invitedto those tryouts.
I don't just.
I mean, yes, I play the drumsand I've been playing for a long
time, but I do it very well.
It's not like I'm just playingthem, just to be playing them,
(01:06:29):
because that was something I didbefore.
No, I play them at a high level, to the point where I can
travel with people and be theirdrummer, and I do so much that
sometimes I forget, like eventhe book.
I forget that I wrote it.
Like, until somebody brings itup.
(01:06:49):
I forget that I wrote becausemy thought process was not to be
like yeah, I'm an author, whatyou going to say about that?
That was not what the book wasfor.
The book was to tell my side ofthe story and literally put you
in my shoes.
So you know these differentthings that I do the speaking,
(01:07:11):
the mentoring, the coaching, theambassadorship, because I'm an
ambassador as well.
I don't just do that for me,it's not to give notoriety to me
, it's to help and benefitothers.
Trudie (01:07:31):
I totally get that.
It's one of the reasons I wrotemy book after everything I'd
been through.
It's why I'm a life coach nowas well, it's why I do the
podcast to share other people'sstories, and I just think what
you have created out of suchadversity is commendable but
courageous, because most peoplewould literally give up and be
(01:07:57):
like life is over, and you haveturned it around and made it
into something so incrediblypowerful yeah, yeah, no well, I
want to thank you for being apart of the podcast.
Before I finish up, though, yourbook is available on Amazon for
(01:08:19):
my listeners.
Kijuan (01:08:21):
Yes, it's on Amazon, Audible, Kindle and Apple Books.
Trudie (01:08:27):
So people can get it from literally everywhere, which
is great.
I'm definitely going to get acopy myself.
I'm more curious to hear aboutyour story.
Kijuan (01:08:38):
Yeah, yeah oh.
By the way, the title is don'tfocus on why me from motorcycle
accident to miracle.
Trudie (01:08:47):
And you literally are a miracle, kiwan, like it has been
an absolute honor and privilegechatting with you today and
hearing your story, and I thinksome of your little life lessons
that you bring out throughoutthe episode will definitely
resonate with my listeners.
Kijuan (01:09:06):
Thank you.
I really appreciate you havingme on your platform to tell my
story.
Trudie (01:09:10):
You're most welcome, and I always finish the episode by
asking what is the one thing youare most grateful for today?
Kijuan (01:09:20):
Life Honestly, because I should not be here.
If you ask any surgeon who dida surgery on me, I should not be
here.
Trudie (01:09:32):
I've even talked to one.
Kijuan (01:09:34):
I have literally actually talked to one face to
face after my surgery and he waslike what the heck you know
Well let me just say I'm sograteful that you are here today
with us.
Trudie (01:09:49):
Thank you.
Kijuan (01:09:50):
Thank you, thank you.
Trudie (01:09:53):
Thank you for tuning in to the Everyday Warriors podcast
.
If you have an idea for afuture episode or a story you'd
like to share yourself, thenplease reach out and message me,
as I am always up for real, rawand authentic conversations
with other Everyday Warriors.
Also, be sure to subscribe sothat you can download all the
(01:10:15):
latest episodes as they arepublished and spread the word to
your family and friends andcolleagues so they can listen in
too.
If you're sharing on socialmedia, please be sure to tag me
so that I can personallyacknowledge you.
I'm always open to commentabout how these episodes have
resonated with you, the listener.
(01:10:35):
And remember lead with love asyou live this one wild and
precious life.
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