July 6, 2025 • 48 mins
What happens when you're told your diagnosis is terminal, but something inside refuses to accept that timeline? In this deeply moving conversation, Kirsten shares her extraordinary journey with stage four metastatic melanoma, diagnosed just days before New Year's Eve in 2023.
As a seemingly healthy 37-year-old homeschooling mother of two running a successful cake decorating business, Kirsten's world transformed when unexplained pain led to the discovery of tumours in her spine and hip. Rather than succumbing to fear, she made a conscious decision to approach her diagnosis differently. "I'm not going to fight this," she reveals. "I'm going to learn to love myself through this."
Kirsten's story challenges conventional approaches to cancer treatment as she navigates both Western medicine and holistic healing modalities. From initially declining immunotherapy to eventually incorporating it alongside naturopathy, energy healing, and spiritual practices, her journey illuminates the power of an integrative approach. Through spinal surgery, hip replacement and periods of extreme pain and weight loss, Kirsten maintained an unwavering belief in her body's ability to heal.
Perhaps most poignant is how Kirsten balanced motherhood with her health crisis, protecting her children from her diagnosis while ensuring they could still experience childhood joy. Her account of community support, from her husband who told her "this is your time to heal" without guilt, to friends who sat with her in bed while she rested, showcases how crucial loving connections are in the healing journey.
Through plant medicine experiences, meditation and a profound practice of gratitude, Kirsten discovered her higher self and the wisdom that comes from facing mortality directly. "From the moment we're born, we are all terminal," she reflects, a perspective that freed her from the burden of an imposed timeline and allowed her to focus on healing moment by moment.
Listen in as Kirsten shares how learning to receive help after a lifetime of giving became one of her greatest lessons and how seeing her diagnosis as happening for her rather than to her transformed a medical crisis into a profound spiritual awakening.
You can connect with Kirsten here
Thanks for listening in!
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Trudie (00:01):
Welcome to the Everyday Warriors podcast, the perfect
space to speak my truth and diveinto deep conversations with
others.
This podcast is aboutcelebrating everyday warriors,
the people who face life'schallenges head on, breaking
through obstacles to buildresilience, strength and courage
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Join me, your host, trudy Marie, as I sit down with inspiring
(00:26):
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Let us all embrace the warriorwithin and realise that, while
(00:48):
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Please note that the followingpodcast may contain discussions
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I aim to provide informativeand supportive content, but
(01:11):
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Remember that it is okay toprioritize your well-being and
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If you're looking for aninspiring story of resilience,
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It is my memoir of hiking the1,000 kilometre Bibbulmun Track,
(03:04):
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(03:27):
journey together.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Everyday Warriors podcast,
and today I am here with anamazing woman who is from
Queensland.
She is the mum of two and wemet online through an online
(03:48):
community.
So today I would like towelcome Kirsten to the podcast.
Kirsten (03:53):
Thank you, thanks for having me.
Trudie (03:55):
You're so welcome and you have an amazing story to
share with the listeners, and Iwould like to start by taking
you back to 2023 2023, because Ithink, from what we've
discussed, this is where yourstory really begins.
Kirsten (04:12):
So 2023, in December I was after eight months of trying
to work out what was wrong withme.
I was diagnosed with stage fourterminal still gets me teary
metastatic melanoma.
So I had tumour in my spine andin my hip.
(04:34):
Yes, I was diagnosed a coupleof days before New Year's Eve,
on 2023.
Big shock to the system.
You know, I was considered apretty healthy person.
I was homeschooling my twochildren at the time and running
a cake and cookie decoratingbusiness, which I've been doing
(04:58):
for since, before my daughterwas born and she's nine.
So you know, fit and healthy,climbing trees with my kids,
rollerblading, running around,doing all the things to all of a
sudden having pain that justwouldn't go away and then just
declining over those eightmonths.
Then I they couldn't find outwas wrong.
(05:20):
I ended up getting admitted tohospital to have further testing
and they ended up having to doa bone biopsy to find out what
it was because just nothing wasshowing up.
Trudie (05:32):
Wow, I'm just imagining you've got two small children,
you've just had Christmas,you're in that holiday, summer
season, but you're in intensepain and then you finally get
this diagnosis, when they didn'tknow what was wrong.
Like what was that actuallylike for you, just hearing that
(05:53):
news?
Kirsten (05:54):
I feel like that stage is a bit of a blur.
There was a shock, obviously,and I remember messaging my
sister saying, fuck, like thisis real.
And she replied saying, yeah,it is, but I made the decision
(06:16):
early on that I wasn't going tobe fearful.
I think back in 2020, duringCOVID, I made the same decision.
You know, everyone was scaredand worrying and I just I
decided I don't want to bescared, I'm not going to be
fearful of this virus.
There's no way.
That's no way to live.
So I decided that I'd do thesame thing now and, rather than
(06:41):
thinking that this disease wasangry and here to um ruin my
life essentially it was it waslike a wake-up call.
I looked at it, as you know,why me?
But not in the sense of oh,poor me.
More like why me?
(07:02):
Like what?
What does this come to show me?
What do I need to change?
How can I, you know, how can Isupport myself through this?
Trudie (07:10):
and, yeah, I love that you've had this mindset that's
relatively positive in the faceof what you've gone through,
that, like you said with COVID,you said, no, I'm not going to
be scared and fearful.
So I'm not going to be scaredand fearful through this, but
also that this wasn't justhappening to you.
(07:30):
It was happening to to you fora reason and it was up to you to
find out and start living yourlife inside of that space.
So, with that in mind, what wasyour process with treatment?
Like, how did you move forwardwith that?
Kirsten (07:50):
So in the beginning I was totally against any Western
medicine.
I was really scared, actually,of that.
That's something I was fearfulof and that comes back to prior
experiences with the medicalsystem as a child.
Through both of my pregnanciesand then COVID, I'd lost a lot
of faith in the medical systemand for about six years, since
(08:14):
my son was born, I've been goingdown the natural route to help
heal my skin.
I had really bad acne androsacea, so I was working with a
naturopath who's actually mysister to work on that.
I had really bad sinusinfections for years which would
last over months, you know,months at a time, and I managed
(08:37):
to clear all that.
So I knew that I could heal.
I knew that I could heal.
But at the same time, cancer isa different thing, you know,
and the way that we're spoken toabout it and the way that the
medical team speaks to you aboutit is just you don't have any
hope.
(08:58):
They don't give you hope, justthe language that is used.
Trudie (09:03):
I can totally relate to that.
My mum is a surviving breastcancer sufferer and my dad has
had multiple brain tumours andyeah, looking at the Western
medicine route and the way thatthey get diagnosed and the way
(09:24):
they talk about treatment is itdoesn't give you very much hope,
it doesn't seem promising.
And yet the big c word is soprevalent in our society.
I don't think there is anybodyin our modern society that
hasn't been touched by that as adisease.
Kirsten (09:45):
Yeah, I heard a statistic the other day that I
think 50 years ago it was one in10 people who would have it.
Now it's one in three.
Well, you know we're spendingmore money on cures, but more
people are getting it, whereas Ifeel we need to be looking at
prevention rather than cure.
100, but hundred percent.
But yeah, back to the treatment.
(10:07):
They said terminal.
So he used air quotes.
He said we can't say, you know,we can't tell you that you
can't get better from it, butthey believe that I was terminal
.
I said I don't want any dates.
Please don't tell me any timeframe.
That that doesn't help me atall, because then I'll just be
(10:30):
focusing on that and every daywill be like, oh, this could be
my last, this could be my last,but I was looking at I'm healing
, I'm looking forward to gettingbetter from this, what can I do
to get better?
And their treatment option wasimmunotherapy, which is quite a
new treatment for cancer.
It's been showing good resultsin melanoma.
(10:53):
But I had the year before I justlost a good friend and neighbor
to bowel cancer.
She'd been through chemotherapy, surgeries, everything, and I
was just.
I also lost my dad in 2019.
He had lung cancer.
My husband's dad passed away.
He'd had chemotherapy, all thetreatments.
(11:13):
So for me, watching these peoplego through the treatment and
not come out the other side, itwas really.
That was daunting.
So I I declined the treatment,for then I said I'm not ready at
the moment.
I also did a plant medicinejourney on my own and in that
(11:35):
journey I saw three clocks onthe wall and they were all
sideways.
I don't know why this makes meemotional, but it's something
that gave me hope and in themoment I was like that's so
weird, like why am I saying that?
But then later on, when I wassort of processing all that I'd
been shown and told to me thatwas time is on your side.
You have time.
(11:55):
There's no need to rush.
You know, just take it easy anddo things when it feels right
for you and if it feels rightfor you.
Trudie (12:06):
I love that analogy.
I love the fact that that wasthe message that you took from
that and that, like you said,you weren't going to be focused
on a date or a timeline.
That doctors had said, like, ifanything, you know your own
body the best and you knowwhat's going to work for you,
what's not going to work for you, what's right for you, what's
(12:28):
not right for you, and the factthat you were able to just trust
yourself more than anythingafter watching all these other
people like not win their battle, is that you were just able to
go in there, you know, trustingyourself completely yeah, it's
(12:49):
interesting you say there and Itotally get a lot of people use
this language.
Kirsten (12:53):
But from the very start I said to my sister I'm not
going to fight this.
It felt too heavy and for me itdidn't sit good in my body.
I said I'm going to learn tolove myself through this.
And another really amazingthing happened was when I did a
plant medicine journey.
My intention was show me what Ineed, how do I heal, and in
(13:16):
that I was told that you need tolove yourself.
Because I didn't.
And that exact same day I hadn'tspoken to my sister.
So that same morning, when Igot that message in the
afternoon, she messaged me andshe sent me a link to this
course, self Love School, andshe said, hey, have you seen
(13:36):
this?
And I was like that's it, Ihave to do it.
So I signed up then and there,knowing that that's what I
needed and it's absolutely whatI needed to do, and also
learning to trust myself,because making all these big
decisions for myself and goingto all these appointments with
oncologists and all of thedoctors who know everything,
(13:57):
everything, apparently it wasreally daunting to say, oh, I
don't want to do that yet, orthat's not for me or right now I
want to try this so learning totrust myself and stand up for
myself in those really hardsituations.
It was huge, but I did it.
And, yeah, I'm quite proud ofmyself for finally learning to
(14:21):
love myself and stand up formyself in probably the hardest
time of my life.
Trudie (14:26):
And so you should be.
I think it's such a proudmoment to be in where it's
literally like a me and themmentality.
Is that, like you said, thesedoctors are supposed to know
more than you and you'resupposed to trust what they're
telling you, and yet insideyou're going going no, I want
this for me and being able tostand up against them and say,
(14:50):
no, I'm, I'm gonna do it my wayand I'm gonna follow what I need
to do.
Kudos to you for having thatcourage, strength, bravery to do
what's best for you in thishealing journey.
Kirsten (15:06):
Yeah, it was.
You know, I always said not now, like I never.
I always say nothing's foreveror I didn't want to rule it out
altogether, but I just knew inthat time I wanted to try
everything else I could first.
So I started working with twonaturopaths actually so my
sister's a naturopath but sheput me on to another lady who
(15:28):
specialises in cancer patientsand just going to her, my first
appointment with her and shesaid three words that just I
clung on to Like.
At the end of the appointmentshe looked at me and she said
you have hope.
And she said can I give you ahug?
And she held me.
(15:49):
And you don't get that in theWestern system.
It's so cold, it's so clinical,it's just so scary.
So to have her say that to mejust gave me hope.
You know, it made me keeplooking forward.
And then just all the rightpeople just sort of kept falling
into my lap and coming around,like another lady put her hand
(16:12):
up to offer a rifle machinewhich is an energy healing
machine, shopper, that to me forfree, gosh.
Just so many people just, yeah,putting their hand up or saying
, hey, have you tried this andthat?
And so I started doing all thethings, and I was.
You know one thing that wasreally crazy.
(16:33):
I'm supposed to be sick, and itwas the first time in my life
that I actually had clear skin.
Since I was 10 years old,everyone kept saying, oh my gosh
, you're glowing, you're glowing, and you know that was due to
all of the good things I wasdoing for my body.
So I started a plant-based diet.
I was on a bunch of differentsupplements and herbs and
(16:55):
starting all the mindfulness andself-love and things like that.
It was healing my body in otherways.
I did get to a point, though,where I was in so much pain like
I can't explain the pain, likeit's worse than labor.
I've had two vaginal births.
One was induced, the other wasall natural, but there are
(17:18):
breeds walk in the park when Ithink about the pain from the
tumor and I ended up in hospitalum, in such pain.
They were using fentanylpatches and everything.
It just wasn't taking it away.
So I ended up having radiation,which was advised by my
naturopath to try it.
He said it could.
(17:38):
A lot of people have goodexperience taking away the pain.
So that was done on my hip, andthen I actually went in for
spinal surgery after that.
So my spine was at riskcollapsing.
One of the vertebrae was sortof eaten away from the tumor.
(17:58):
So they put in two rods eitherside of my spine and I think
there's about eight screws.
So I had recovery from that andthen, probably two months after
that I ended up in hospitalagain in extreme pain with my
hip, yeah.
And then they did no my back.
So then they did radiation.
On that, looking back now,hindsight's great.
(18:23):
I wish I didn't do radiation,because after that I just
declined physically.
I lost.
I was about 60 kilos.
I got down to 45 kilos.
My hair was falling out, I wasjust skin and bone.
When I looked at myself in themirror I looked like an 80 year
old woman.
Know, my bum was gone, therewas nothing left, no muscle,
(18:45):
just all skin, couldn't eat.
I just slept the days away andprior to that, even though I was
in pain, I was eating, I was ina healthier state.
And then, eight months afterdiagnosis is when I first
started immunotherapy.
And then, eight months afterdiagnosis is when I first
started immunotherapy and I did,I think, six rounds of that
(19:08):
every six weeks again.
With doing that, that was mehaving to learn to trust myself
and trust the medical system,that this was going to be okay
for me and that it was the righttime.
And the reason I sort ofaccepted it in the end because
it took me a long time was myneighbour and my friend who
passed away.
(19:28):
She wanted to be on the trialfor the immunotherapy back when
she was going through herjourney and she wasn't accepted
into that trial and I know shewould have given anything to try
it and I know she would havegiven anything to try it.
So it kind of felt like in away, I was doing it for her.
(19:54):
Yeah, it was hard, but sort ofknowing that it helped me.
She also came through in one ofmy journeys the plant medicine
and we spoke and she sort ofgave me hope and courage to keep
going and that I'll be okay andalso letting me know that she's
(20:14):
okay.
Trudie (20:17):
Wow.
That's such an incrediblemoment to experience, in the
sense that here you are on yourown journey, but you've had,
you've lost a good friend ontheir journey and being able to
connect with them in anout-of-world experience and to
take on this therapy for you tolike, heal yourself in this
(20:42):
journey and, like you said, it'shindsight is 20-20 and you can
look back and go should I havedone it?
Should I not have done it?
But each part of that journey,you do what's right and what you
think you need at the time andI can only begin to imagine the
type of pain you were in,especially if you say it was
worse than labour.
I can only begin to imagine thetype of pain you were in
(21:04):
especially if you say it wasworse than labour, having been a
mother myself and given birththat you have to make these big
decisions, like you said, in themoment, not really knowing what
direction that's going to take,but just trusting that in this
moment, right now, this is whatI need.
Kirsten (21:21):
Yeah, and that was saying that one of my
affirmations that I've had for along time is right here, right
now, I'm safe, and I just had tokeep repeating that to myself
that, even though it feels scaryor I don't know what's going to
happen, right now I'm safe.
You know, in each moment thatI'm here, I I'm safe.
Trudie (21:40):
Yeah, and it's such a positive space to be in is
knowing that, yeah, in thismoment everything is okay,
because, realistically, in thebig scheme of things, in any
given moment we have to believethat we are safe and okay.
Because then how do we gothrough to the next moment if we
(22:00):
don't even trust that ourselves?
So you said that you had tohave spinal surgery and having
spinal rods inserted.
Kirsten (22:13):
Did you end up having further surgery on your hip as
well?
Yeah, I'm currently today sevenweeks post hip replacement.
So the tumour had eaten away alot of my pelvis and my hip ball
.
It's probably the easiest wayto explain.
It had gone right up into mypelvis, so my left leg was about
seven centimeters shorter thanmy right purely because the
(22:35):
pelvis was deteriorated and thehip socket was basically gone.
So there was nothing to hold myhip in place.
Trudie (22:43):
And I just want to interrupt you there by saying
I'm not going to disclose yourage, but you are under 40,
correct.
Kirsten (22:50):
Yeah, I was diagnosed at 37.
So I'm turning 39 this year.
Trudie (22:54):
Yeah.
So all this stuff is happeningthat you would expect somebody
much later in life to be havingto experiencing it, and you're
enduring all of this under 40yeah, that's uh.
Kirsten (23:07):
When I go to the medical system, all the nurses
and they're like this is unheardof they.
They each ask me my story andthey're like wow, I've never
heard of that, like they're.
They're equally as shocked.
Um, the other thing, too is Ididn't.
So it's melanoma, but I don'thave a primary skin spot where
(23:28):
the cancer started, so theydon't know how it started.
I have my beliefs or thoughtsaround it.
I think there's a big holisticapproach to that as well as to
why it came about.
But an interesting thing, whereI was living at the time.
So my neighbour she was twodoors down from me and then in
(23:51):
between us there's anotherneighbour and me Three of us in
those three properties were alldiagnosed with a type of cancer.
So she had bowel cancer, themiddle neighbour had melanoma.
They were skin spots and I hadmelanoma in my bones.
So that was part of the reasonI moved from that location,
because for me that's not, thatdoesn't just happen like.
Trudie (24:15):
That's not normal to me that this location, so many
people are getting diagnosedthat doesn't seem normal to me
either, I have to admit, andlike you, I would be wanting to
move.
But are you saying that youmoved right in the middle of you
going through all this healingtreatment that you just decided?
(24:36):
Hey, I'm going to move on topof it, because moving is
traumatic in itself, like foranybody that has to do a move.
But you're dealing with allthese health issues and now
you're moving too.
Kirsten (24:45):
Yeah, Well, from the moment I was diagnosed, my
husband and I we went to stay atmy sister's on the Sunshine
Coast for New Year's Eve and wewere actively looking for
properties.
Then we just knew we had toleave.
Stay at my sister's on theSunshine Coast for New Year's
Eve and we were actively lookingfor properties.
Then we just knew we had toleave.
I'd kind of wanted to move fora little while but hadn't been
brave enough or didn't want touplift everyone.
But in this moment we knew thatwe just needed to go somewhere
(25:08):
peaceful.
And we got a few questions fromyou know well-meaning friends
and family saying why are youmoving so far away from medical
services?
We bought a house that hasstairs.
At the time I couldn't climbstairs.
I've been on crutches fornearly 18 months now and I just
said, well, I will one day likeI'm not.
I'm not moving there with theintention that I'm going to go
(25:32):
there to finish my life there,like I'm going there to extend
my life or to make my lifehealthier.
Again, back to my plantmedicine journey.
I saw myself climbing stairs.
This was before I moved here.
I saw this healthy womanclimbing upstairs.
She was carrying a bunch ofpapaya fruit and that just said
(25:55):
to me okay, well, who cares ifthere's stairs, like I'll get
there one day and the house thatwe bought, I basically live
downstairs, I don't need to goupstairs.
I can now, but, um, yeah, Ijust I kept looking forward.
There was no that.
You know the diagnosis and thetime frames.
It just wasn't on my radar.
Maybe I'm people might thinkI'm naive maybe I am, but I just
(26:20):
don't focus on that.
It's still not in my you know,in my thoughts.
Yes, I have moments of you know, like at the moment.
I have a PET scan on Thursdayand it's every time you're like,
oh, like, it just makes younervous, what's going to show up
, what's not going to show up?
But I just actively take myselfback to no, no, just be in the
moment.
Whatever happens, you can workon it then.
(26:43):
Another little affirmation thatI have is a new day equals a
new day of healing.
So each day that I wake up is achance for me to learn
something new about myself, orlearn a new way, new modality,
or to put in place those thingsthat I know that will help my
(27:03):
body, help my mind.
Trudie (27:05):
I don't think you're naive in your approach to that,
because there is a saying thatsays where your attention goes,
energy flows.
And if you constantly focus onthat negative outcome and
negative time frame that doctorsso often want to give you when
you're dealing with a cancertreatment, is that that's where
(27:28):
your attention goes.
But, on the other hand, if youjust concentrate on healing your
body and living your best lifeand doing what's right for you,
then that's where your energy isgoing is into all those
positive things.
So you would have to expectthat that's where a lot of the
goodness is going to come from.
Kirsten (27:50):
Yeah, absolutely.
And there's this saying I don'tknow who said it, but it says
from the moment we're born, weare all terminal.
And when I heard that I justthought, oh, like that just took
away all the worry that I'm theonly one who's gonna lose their
life, like anyone can go, youknow, and I hear of people
passing away from various thingssickness, accidents, whatever
(28:14):
and why should I be living mylife?
That, oh, this could be thelast day, or this might be my
last week or month, or nobodyknows.
No one knows when their time isup.
So that's what I focused on wasjust yeah, each day is another
day that I'm here.
Trudie (28:30):
And how lucky am I such a beautiful way to look at
things.
I do need to ask you throughoutthis journey because it's been
a two-year journey for youpractically, or at least 18
months, and you've got two youngchildren under the age of 10
how have they coped?
One and two, how have you coped, as a mother, going through
(28:55):
this journey with them?
Kirsten (28:57):
well, um, I'm just going to hear that brings up a
lot of emotion.
So it's basically two yearssince I first started
experiencing pain.
So April 2023 was when I firsthad the pain and I was
homeschooling them.
We were, you know, out andabout all the time, as I said, I
used to go climbing trees, we'dgo skating every week and then,
(29:21):
all of a sudden, I just had tostop doing certain things
because mummy's in pain and thekids have been absolutely
amazing.
They don't know my diagnosis.
We never told them.
There were times when I was inhospital at my lowest point and
they were saying to us you know,it might be a good time to
speak to the kids, do you wantcounsellors?
And I just couldn't do it.
(29:42):
And I still.
Then, even when I was that low,I did not see the end.
When I look back on photos,it'd be easy to see why people
thought this was the end for her.
But I didn't.
I just did not cross my mind.
So the kids just know thatmummy has weak bones.
(30:03):
First, before my cancerdiagnosis, I was diagnosed with
osteopenia, which is basicallypre-osteoporosis.
So we just tell them my bonesare weak and there's, you know,
certain things have caused this.
So I just have to try and findways to get stronger.
And the doctors and healers areall helping mummy.
(30:23):
Unfortunately, term four lastyear unfortunately for me,
because I loved homeschoolingbut I wasn't doing so well.
I couldn't give to them the waythey needed me to.
We ended up sending them toschool.
We found a beautiful littleindependent school which is from
prep to 10.
There's only about 50 60 kids,so sending them there was really
(30:47):
hard for me.
But it's been great for them tohave connection with friends
and it's a really smallcommunity.
So they've been reallysupportive of my journey,
helping us to keep them safe andhappy and, you know, really
nurtured the principal'sabsolutely amazing.
So yeah, it's.
You know my little boy.
(31:09):
Last year he said to me when Iwas in bed for about six or
eight months, could barely doanything get up and go to the
toilet, take myself outside toground my feet every day, get
some sun.
Might have been five minutesand then I'd be back to bed.
And he said to me one day Mummy, do you know why I love you so
(31:32):
much?
And I said why?
And he said because you needlove to get better out of the
mouths of babes.
Trudie (31:46):
Oh yeah it.
Kirsten (31:47):
Just it broke me but it also gave me so much strength.
It was just what I needed, butnot not necessarily from him,
because I mean, yes, I do needand want love from him, but I
didn't want him to feel like hehad to do it for me.
Being someone who grew up beinga carer because I had a brother
(32:11):
with a disability and a dad whohad mental health issues and
was basically non-existent, Iput myself out.
You know I missed out on mychildhood in a lot of ways and I
didn't want that for my kids.
So I was very proactive inmaking sure they were safe, they
(32:32):
were looked after, theirchildhood wasn't taken away from
them.
I accepted all the support thatI could.
You know, as mums we're quiteproud and it's hard to accept
support when we're supposed tobe the ones looking after
everybody.
But I just made the decisionthat if people were offering
help, I would accept it so thatmy kids didn't have to be
(32:54):
stepping up more than theyalready were.
Trudie (32:57):
You know, they were already missing out on time with
mummy and me nurturing thembecause I basically had to just
go within and look after myselffor a very long time yeah, and
there's so much to say in whatyou've just said, and the first
(33:18):
one I want to go back to is thatobviously you had to make, like
you said, you've made somereally big, tough decisions in
this whole healing journey andone of those has had to stop
homeschooling your children andsend them to school and inside
of that you've given them aspace to be children, which is
what you said you wanted them todo is not have this awkward
(33:39):
childhood, actually have what isrelatively a normal childhood,
but also it's probably given youtime and space to actually just
be with yourself and do whatyou need to do.
But just going back to what yourson said in, like you just need
love to heal, like out of themouths of babes, like what's
(34:03):
there for me is that it's sotrue in that if we all just
loved each other and were kindto each other and supported each
other more as a general society, then half the stress, anxiety,
disease because it's let's bereal, it's dis-ease would be
(34:23):
almost eliminated.
Like, these little human beingsget it more than we do.
They do.
Kirsten (34:32):
Yeah, I, you know, I've been really, really fortunate
that I've had such amazingsupport around me.
In the very beginning, I justkept saying to my husband and my
sister I just want to go outinto nature and I want to curl
up like an animal.
You know, when animals areunwell, they just curl up,
preserve all their energy untilthey're better again.
(34:52):
That's all I kept picturingmyself doing was going out,
curling up in the bush or on amountain and just blocking out
the outside noise and just goingwithin.
And that's basically what I didmoving here.
So we moved to a beautifulmountain property and I just
held up.
A lot of the time was in bed,but I had this beautiful big
(35:13):
window just looking outside, thetrees, the birds flying around,
and just going within andgiving to myself.
But in doing that, like I hadto give up all my roles, as a
mum, as a wife, as a friend.
But I have the most amazingpeople who stepped in and
(35:33):
allowed me to do that.
You know my husband was stillworking, but he never made me
feel guilty for not doinganything.
You know, there were days whereI'd cry and say I'm so sorry
and he would just reply don't be, this is your time, you know.
This is your time to heal, andhearing that and knowing that I
(35:57):
was safe to to go within andbasically check out of life was,
you know, not many people getthat.
I know of other people who theirhusbands don't support them in
that way or they don't havefamily and friends around who
will come and live with them andtake over your role as mum and
(36:20):
cook and clean.
My mother-in-law just wouldcome for however long she needed
to and she'd fill the freezer.
Um, all the washing was alwaysdone, the cleaning.
My mum come up whenever shecould, but she has a son with a
disability so she's still caring, but she would just check in
every day, send messages.
My sister, my older sister, hasjust you know, she was always
(36:45):
there at the end of a message.
All of her treatment protocolshave been amazing.
She's never it's never feltlike too much to ask her for a
support, although sometimes Idid sort of pull back because I
know how mentally exhausting itis caring for someone or
(37:06):
supporting someone.
So I was mindful that I didn'tburden her with everything.
But I just never felt like thatand I had friends who would
come up and stay because Icouldn't go and visit them.
They'd come and just sit in bedwith me.
We'd chat for a bit, I'd have asleep and they would hang out
with my kids and help my husband.
(37:26):
So yeah, having all thosepeople and their love was
priceless love was priceless, Ican imagine it would be.
Trudie (37:41):
because, like you said, just having all that support
there, and especially that ofyour husband because, like you
said, it could make or break amarriage and I think that's
where your wedding vows of insickness and in health really
come into play as well are youreally going to be there, and
it's just beautiful to see thatyour husband has been there,
that your extended family hasbeen there, your friends have
been there, like everyone isthere to support you in this
(38:05):
journey, and you don't have tofeel guilty about it, you don't
have to worry about it.
You just get to focus onbecoming the best version of
yourself again, so that you canjust continue to be here with
everybody yeah, exactly.
Kirsten (38:23):
Um, you know, like I said earlier in the we were
talking, that everyone juststarted falling around me.
So when I moved here, I startedlooking for different people to
support me.
So an IV nurse, acupuncture,chiropractor, healers there were
times where I was seeing twodifferent counsellors holistic
(38:44):
counsellors each week, as wellas the acupuncturist, and he
taught my husband and Imeditation.
People were dropping in foodwho didn't even really know us.
Yeah, it was just amazing tosee the support rally around,
even for someone they didn'tknow, and it's interesting
(39:05):
because I've always been thatperson and I think part of me
moving from where I was was toget away from being that one
who's just constantly giving,giving, giving, and now I had to
learn to receive and that wasone of my biggest lessons was,
yeah, learning to accept helpand that I'm worthy of
(39:27):
everything that I was giving toeverybody yeah, such an
important lesson for many of usto actually take on in the fact,
especially if we are givers inthis world.
Trudie (39:38):
I know I'm.
My love language is gift givingand I'm a giver.
My second love language is actsof service.
So it's very much in that frameof of giving, and it's not
until you are in a situationwhere you have to start
receiving that it actually doestake some work to be able to be
in that space of receivingeverything back.
(40:00):
So the fact that you were ableto do that I'm sure helped you
on your journey yeah, it did.
It took a lot, but it'sdefinitely yep definitely helped
the one thing I want to askthroughout the whole thing,
because it sounds like even fromthe very beginning and
throughout various aspects ofthe process, you have had a
(40:22):
really strong positive mindsetlike what are some of the things
that has had you either one bethat way or two stay that way.
Because, like you said, goingback and looking in the mirror
of when you went from like 60kilos down to 45, and you said
you looked in the mirror as likean old woman and I mean,
(40:43):
obviously we're sitting here ona zoom call and you do not look
like that today.
You look, you are glowing, likehow has that been for you?
Kirsten (40:51):
um, so I haven't always been this way for much of my
childhood.
So probably since about 16 Istarted seeing a counsellor.
I was put on antidepressantsand all throughout my life, on
and off, I was seeingcounsellors.
Even psychiatrists had anxiety,depression.
(41:13):
And it wasn't till aboutprobably four years ago now I
started working on myself.
You know, on a.
Six years was when I startedreally cleaning up food and
detoxing and I did a assistedmedicine journey and that just
changed.
That rewired my brain.
I couldn't read a book.
(41:33):
You know, all through highschool I couldnwired my brain.
I couldn't read a book.
You know, all through highschool I couldn't read.
I could but I couldn't retainanything.
Then I went on to study as apastry chef.
I really struggled in all ofthe theoretical work, probably
read maybe two books since highschool.
After doing this journey Ithink I read about five books in
one year.
I couldn't believe it and I wasretaining it all and I was like
(41:54):
just loving it.
But that that just changed me.
My confidence just soared.
I healed a lot, a lot of.
I had postnatal anxiety withboth of my kids, to the point I
was medicated, never wanted todo the medication, I kept
putting it off, and then I didbecause I wasn't improving.
I then did hypnosis a couple oftimes, started working with a
(42:21):
holistic counsellor, and thattrumped all of the psychologists
that I'd seen since 16.
I'm not saying that they didn'tplay a role in, you know,
helping me, but I was never ableto truly heal these things that
I was holding on to fromchildhood and but I honestly
think that one journey just justchanged my life, and I credit
(42:45):
that so much to the way mymindset has been throughout all
of this that's an incrediblejourney to be on, like to look
at yourself from so far back toyour childhood and how you've
come now and it's it's literallybeen a journey that you've been
on and I want to take you backto, like the beginning of the
(43:08):
conversation.
Trudie (43:09):
You said that this didn't happen to you.
It happened for you.
What are some of the lessonsthat you've started?
Or the wisdom?
I don't want to say lessons, Imean we're all here to learn.
I think every day we're aliveon this earth we are learning,
but it's the wisdom we get fromthose learnings like what has
been that that's come out wholetime period for you.
Kirsten (43:33):
I think probably so.
I always was diagnosed orlabeled as anxious.
I don't believe that anymore.
I think I'm very intuitive,sensitive, you know whatever you
want to call it, but being opento spirituality in my own way.
(43:56):
I don't necessarily go tochurch or I don't not believe in
God, but I don't believe in God.
It's believing in a higher self, as what's really come out of
this for me.
And throughout this last coupleof years, there have been
moments where I'll be standingand looking looking at myself,
(44:19):
looking at myself, so it'sreally hard to explain.
But me now is looking at aversion of me, looking at the me
who's in bed or the me who'soutside on the lawn screaming
and crying in pain, asking forhelp.
I believe that's my higher selfwas looking over me, protecting
me, guiding me.
(44:41):
Also, gratitude has been awonderful thing.
You know, I used to go outsideand cry, scream, ask for help.
What can I do?
Show me what to do.
And then one day I just wentout and I said thank you and
started saying thank you for thethings that I had, thank you
for this beautiful land, for thenature that's holding me the
(45:05):
mountains, the trees, the birdsThank you for my family, those
people who are supporting me,and it just changed the way I
was feeling about everything.
And it just changed the way Iwas feeling about everything.
So now, through the big heavydays or moments, I start, you
know, looking at what am Igrateful for, what do I have
(45:26):
that's good and it always trumpsall the bad, negative feelings
and thoughts.
Trudie (45:33):
Wow, such a beautiful place to be in.
Feelings and thoughts.
Wow, such a beautiful place tobe in.
I want to thank you so much forbeing here today, for giving us
a real, raw and very vulnerableemotional share of your story,
because I think what you aregoing through and the fact that
(45:53):
you have the courage to speakout and share that story is
incredibly brave and I thinkmany of our listeners, whether
they're going through a similarjourney themselves or have
family members or friends goingthrough that journey, they will
gain some insight into what thatjourney is actually like.
(46:15):
So thank you for giving anotherpart of yourself like to the
listeners yeah, thank you.
Kirsten (46:23):
That's basically what, why I'm sharing my story.
It's hard and I know it can behard for other people to hear,
but ultimately I want to.
I want people to hear it and tomaybe think about how they can
help support themselves or theirloved ones in a truly holistic
way.
You know, I would love to saythat I didn't have to have
(46:46):
Western medicine, but I did.
But alongside that, I've doneso many other things to support
myself and, yeah, mindset hasbeen one of the biggest things,
and if I can help somebody findone thing that will support them
alongside whatever else they'redoing, then that's.
Trudie (47:02):
That's all I want out of this and me sharing my story
yeah, and it's not just the oneperson or the one thing, it's
that ripple effect that that onething then takes into the rest
of the world.
And that's what I love is thatyou can, by helping one person,
you actually begin to help somany others in the process.
So I always like to finish andfunnily you've already mentioned
(47:26):
it, but I always like to finishthe podcast episode with what
is the one thing you are mostgrateful for today.
Kirsten (47:34):
One thing, most grateful for today?
One thing, I guess my community, my family, but also my
strength.
If I didn't have this strengththen I possibly wouldn't be
doing as well as I am.
So many things I could bethankful for.
But yeah, that'll do it fortoday.
Trudie (47:56):
Thank you for tuning in to the Everyday Warriors
podcast.
If you have an idea for afuture episode or a story you'd
like to share yourself, thenplease reach out and message me,
as I am always up for real, rawand authentic conversations
with other Everyday Warriors.
Also, be sure to subscribe sothat you can download all the
(48:17):
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I'm always open to commentabout how these episodes have
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(48:37):
And remember lead with love asyou live this one wild and
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Welcome to the Everyday Warriors podcast, the perfect
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This podcast is aboutcelebrating everyday warriors,
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through obstacles to buildresilience, strength and courage
.
Join me, your host, trudy Marie, as I sit down with inspiring
(00:26):
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Let us all embrace the warriorwithin and realise that, while
(00:48):
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journey together.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Everyday Warriors podcast,
and today I am here with anamazing woman who is from
Queensland.
She is the mum of two and wemet online through an online
(03:48):
community.
So today I would like towelcome Kirsten to the podcast.
Kirsten (03:53):
Thank you, thanks for having me.
Trudie (03:55):
You're so welcome and you have an amazing story to
share with the listeners, and Iwould like to start by taking
you back to 2023 2023, because Ithink, from what we've
discussed, this is where yourstory really begins.
Kirsten (04:12):
So 2023, in December I was after eight months of trying
to work out what was wrong withme.
I was diagnosed with stage fourterminal still gets me teary
metastatic melanoma.
So I had tumour in my spine andin my hip.
(04:34):
Yes, I was diagnosed a coupleof days before New Year's Eve,
on 2023.
Big shock to the system.
You know, I was considered apretty healthy person.
I was homeschooling my twochildren at the time and running
a cake and cookie decoratingbusiness, which I've been doing
(04:58):
for since, before my daughterwas born and she's nine.
So you know, fit and healthy,climbing trees with my kids,
rollerblading, running around,doing all the things to all of a
sudden having pain that justwouldn't go away and then just
declining over those eightmonths.
Then I they couldn't find outwas wrong.
(05:20):
I ended up getting admitted tohospital to have further testing
and they ended up having to doa bone biopsy to find out what
it was because just nothing wasshowing up.
Trudie (05:32):
Wow, I'm just imagining you've got two small children,
you've just had Christmas,you're in that holiday, summer
season, but you're in intensepain and then you finally get
this diagnosis, when they didn'tknow what was wrong.
Like what was that actuallylike for you, just hearing that
(05:53):
news?
Kirsten (05:54):
I feel like that stage is a bit of a blur.
There was a shock, obviously,and I remember messaging my
sister saying, fuck, like thisis real.
And she replied saying, yeah,it is, but I made the decision
(06:16):
early on that I wasn't going tobe fearful.
I think back in 2020, duringCOVID, I made the same decision.
You know, everyone was scaredand worrying and I just I
decided I don't want to bescared, I'm not going to be
fearful of this virus.
There's no way.
That's no way to live.
So I decided that I'd do thesame thing now and, rather than
(06:41):
thinking that this disease wasangry and here to um ruin my
life essentially it was it waslike a wake-up call.
I looked at it, as you know,why me?
But not in the sense of oh,poor me.
More like why me?
(07:02):
Like what?
What does this come to show me?
What do I need to change?
How can I, you know, how can Isupport myself through this?
Trudie (07:10):
and, yeah, I love that you've had this mindset that's
relatively positive in the faceof what you've gone through,
that, like you said with COVID,you said, no, I'm not going to
be scared and fearful.
So I'm not going to be scaredand fearful through this, but
also that this wasn't justhappening to you.
(07:30):
It was happening to to you fora reason and it was up to you to
find out and start living yourlife inside of that space.
So, with that in mind, what wasyour process with treatment?
Like, how did you move forwardwith that?
Kirsten (07:50):
So in the beginning I was totally against any Western
medicine.
I was really scared, actually,of that.
That's something I was fearfulof and that comes back to prior
experiences with the medicalsystem as a child.
Through both of my pregnanciesand then COVID, I'd lost a lot
of faith in the medical systemand for about six years, since
(08:14):
my son was born, I've been goingdown the natural route to help
heal my skin.
I had really bad acne androsacea, so I was working with a
naturopath who's actually mysister to work on that.
I had really bad sinusinfections for years which would
last over months, you know,months at a time, and I managed
(08:37):
to clear all that.
So I knew that I could heal.
I knew that I could heal.
But at the same time, cancer isa different thing, you know,
and the way that we're spoken toabout it and the way that the
medical team speaks to you aboutit is just you don't have any
hope.
(08:58):
They don't give you hope, justthe language that is used.
Trudie (09:03):
I can totally relate to that.
My mum is a surviving breastcancer sufferer and my dad has
had multiple brain tumours andyeah, looking at the Western
medicine route and the way thatthey get diagnosed and the way
(09:24):
they talk about treatment is itdoesn't give you very much hope,
it doesn't seem promising.
And yet the big c word is soprevalent in our society.
I don't think there is anybodyin our modern society that
hasn't been touched by that as adisease.
Kirsten (09:45):
Yeah, I heard a statistic the other day that I
think 50 years ago it was one in10 people who would have it.
Now it's one in three.
Well, you know we're spendingmore money on cures, but more
people are getting it, whereas Ifeel we need to be looking at
prevention rather than cure.
100, but hundred percent.
But yeah, back to the treatment.
(10:07):
They said terminal.
So he used air quotes.
He said we can't say, you know,we can't tell you that you
can't get better from it, butthey believe that I was terminal
.
I said I don't want any dates.
Please don't tell me any timeframe.
That that doesn't help me atall, because then I'll just be
(10:30):
focusing on that and every daywill be like, oh, this could be
my last, this could be my last,but I was looking at I'm healing
, I'm looking forward to gettingbetter from this, what can I do
to get better?
And their treatment option wasimmunotherapy, which is quite a
new treatment for cancer.
It's been showing good resultsin melanoma.
(10:53):
But I had the year before I justlost a good friend and neighbor
to bowel cancer.
She'd been through chemotherapy, surgeries, everything, and I
was just.
I also lost my dad in 2019.
He had lung cancer.
My husband's dad passed away.
He'd had chemotherapy, all thetreatments.
(11:13):
So for me, watching these peoplego through the treatment and
not come out the other side, itwas really.
That was daunting.
So I I declined the treatment,for then I said I'm not ready at
the moment.
I also did a plant medicinejourney on my own and in that
(11:35):
journey I saw three clocks onthe wall and they were all
sideways.
I don't know why this makes meemotional, but it's something
that gave me hope and in themoment I was like that's so
weird, like why am I saying that?
But then later on, when I wassort of processing all that I'd
been shown and told to me thatwas time is on your side.
You have time.
(11:55):
There's no need to rush.
You know, just take it easy anddo things when it feels right
for you and if it feels rightfor you.
Trudie (12:06):
I love that analogy.
I love the fact that that wasthe message that you took from
that and that, like you said,you weren't going to be focused
on a date or a timeline.
That doctors had said, like, ifanything, you know your own
body the best and you knowwhat's going to work for you,
what's not going to work for you, what's right for you, what's
(12:28):
not right for you, and the factthat you were able to just trust
yourself more than anythingafter watching all these other
people like not win their battle, is that you were just able to
go in there, you know, trustingyourself completely yeah, it's
(12:49):
interesting you say there and Itotally get a lot of people use
this language.
Kirsten (12:53):
But from the very start I said to my sister I'm not
going to fight this.
It felt too heavy and for me itdidn't sit good in my body.
I said I'm going to learn tolove myself through this.
And another really amazingthing happened was when I did a
plant medicine journey.
My intention was show me what Ineed, how do I heal, and in
(13:16):
that I was told that you need tolove yourself.
Because I didn't.
And that exact same day I hadn'tspoken to my sister.
So that same morning, when Igot that message in the
afternoon, she messaged me andshe sent me a link to this
course, self Love School, andshe said, hey, have you seen
(13:36):
this?
And I was like that's it, Ihave to do it.
So I signed up then and there,knowing that that's what I
needed and it's absolutely whatI needed to do, and also
learning to trust myself,because making all these big
decisions for myself and goingto all these appointments with
oncologists and all of thedoctors who know everything,
(13:57):
everything, apparently it wasreally daunting to say, oh, I
don't want to do that yet, orthat's not for me or right now I
want to try this so learning totrust myself and stand up for
myself in those really hardsituations.
It was huge, but I did it.
And, yeah, I'm quite proud ofmyself for finally learning to
(14:21):
love myself and stand up formyself in probably the hardest
time of my life.
Trudie (14:26):
And so you should be.
I think it's such a proudmoment to be in where it's
literally like a me and themmentality.
Is that, like you said, thesedoctors are supposed to know
more than you and you'resupposed to trust what they're
telling you, and yet insideyou're going going no, I want
this for me and being able tostand up against them and say,
(14:50):
no, I'm, I'm gonna do it my wayand I'm gonna follow what I need
to do.
Kudos to you for having thatcourage, strength, bravery to do
what's best for you in thishealing journey.
Kirsten (15:06):
Yeah, it was.
You know, I always said not now, like I never.
I always say nothing's foreveror I didn't want to rule it out
altogether, but I just knew inthat time I wanted to try
everything else I could first.
So I started working with twonaturopaths actually so my
sister's a naturopath but sheput me on to another lady who
(15:28):
specialises in cancer patientsand just going to her, my first
appointment with her and shesaid three words that just I
clung on to Like.
At the end of the appointmentshe looked at me and she said
you have hope.
And she said can I give you ahug?
And she held me.
(15:49):
And you don't get that in theWestern system.
It's so cold, it's so clinical,it's just so scary.
So to have her say that to mejust gave me hope.
You know, it made me keeplooking forward.
And then just all the rightpeople just sort of kept falling
into my lap and coming around,like another lady put her hand
(16:12):
up to offer a rifle machinewhich is an energy healing
machine, shopper, that to me forfree, gosh.
Just so many people just, yeah,putting their hand up or saying
, hey, have you tried this andthat?
And so I started doing all thethings, and I was.
You know one thing that wasreally crazy.
(16:33):
I'm supposed to be sick, and itwas the first time in my life
that I actually had clear skin.
Since I was 10 years old,everyone kept saying, oh my gosh
, you're glowing, you're glowing, and you know that was due to
all of the good things I wasdoing for my body.
So I started a plant-based diet.
I was on a bunch of differentsupplements and herbs and
(16:55):
starting all the mindfulness andself-love and things like that.
It was healing my body in otherways.
I did get to a point, though,where I was in so much pain like
I can't explain the pain, likeit's worse than labor.
I've had two vaginal births.
One was induced, the other wasall natural, but there are
(17:18):
breeds walk in the park when Ithink about the pain from the
tumor and I ended up in hospitalum, in such pain.
They were using fentanylpatches and everything.
It just wasn't taking it away.
So I ended up having radiation,which was advised by my
naturopath to try it.
He said it could.
(17:38):
A lot of people have goodexperience taking away the pain.
So that was done on my hip, andthen I actually went in for
spinal surgery after that.
So my spine was at riskcollapsing.
One of the vertebrae was sortof eaten away from the tumor.
(17:58):
So they put in two rods eitherside of my spine and I think
there's about eight screws.
So I had recovery from that andthen, probably two months after
that I ended up in hospitalagain in extreme pain with my
hip, yeah.
And then they did no my back.
So then they did radiation.
On that, looking back now,hindsight's great.
(18:23):
I wish I didn't do radiation,because after that I just
declined physically.
I lost.
I was about 60 kilos.
I got down to 45 kilos.
My hair was falling out, I wasjust skin and bone.
When I looked at myself in themirror I looked like an 80 year
old woman.
Know, my bum was gone, therewas nothing left, no muscle,
(18:45):
just all skin, couldn't eat.
I just slept the days away andprior to that, even though I was
in pain, I was eating, I was ina healthier state.
And then, eight months afterdiagnosis is when I first
started immunotherapy.
And then, eight months afterdiagnosis is when I first
started immunotherapy and I did,I think, six rounds of that
(19:08):
every six weeks again.
With doing that, that was mehaving to learn to trust myself
and trust the medical system,that this was going to be okay
for me and that it was the righttime.
And the reason I sort ofaccepted it in the end because
it took me a long time was myneighbour and my friend who
passed away.
(19:28):
She wanted to be on the trialfor the immunotherapy back when
she was going through herjourney and she wasn't accepted
into that trial and I know shewould have given anything to try
it and I know she would havegiven anything to try it.
So it kind of felt like in away, I was doing it for her.
(19:54):
Yeah, it was hard, but sort ofknowing that it helped me.
She also came through in one ofmy journeys the plant medicine
and we spoke and she sort ofgave me hope and courage to keep
going and that I'll be okay andalso letting me know that she's
(20:14):
okay.
Trudie (20:17):
Wow.
That's such an incrediblemoment to experience, in the
sense that here you are on yourown journey, but you've had,
you've lost a good friend ontheir journey and being able to
connect with them in anout-of-world experience and to
take on this therapy for you tolike, heal yourself in this
(20:42):
journey and, like you said, it'shindsight is 20-20 and you can
look back and go should I havedone it?
Should I not have done it?
But each part of that journey,you do what's right and what you
think you need at the time andI can only begin to imagine the
type of pain you were in,especially if you say it was
worse than labour.
I can only begin to imagine thetype of pain you were in
(21:04):
especially if you say it wasworse than labour, having been a
mother myself and given birththat you have to make these big
decisions, like you said, in themoment, not really knowing what
direction that's going to take,but just trusting that in this
moment, right now, this is whatI need.
Kirsten (21:21):
Yeah, and that was saying that one of my
affirmations that I've had for along time is right here, right
now, I'm safe, and I just had tokeep repeating that to myself
that, even though it feels scaryor I don't know what's going to
happen, right now I'm safe.
You know, in each moment thatI'm here, I I'm safe.
Trudie (21:40):
Yeah, and it's such a positive space to be in is
knowing that, yeah, in thismoment everything is okay,
because, realistically, in thebig scheme of things, in any
given moment we have to believethat we are safe and okay.
Because then how do we gothrough to the next moment if we
(22:00):
don't even trust that ourselves?
So you said that you had tohave spinal surgery and having
spinal rods inserted.
Kirsten (22:13):
Did you end up having further surgery on your hip as
well?
Yeah, I'm currently today sevenweeks post hip replacement.
So the tumour had eaten away alot of my pelvis and my hip ball
.
It's probably the easiest wayto explain.
It had gone right up into mypelvis, so my left leg was about
seven centimeters shorter thanmy right purely because the
(22:35):
pelvis was deteriorated and thehip socket was basically gone.
So there was nothing to hold myhip in place.
Trudie (22:43):
And I just want to interrupt you there by saying
I'm not going to disclose yourage, but you are under 40,
correct.
Kirsten (22:50):
Yeah, I was diagnosed at 37.
So I'm turning 39 this year.
Trudie (22:54):
Yeah.
So all this stuff is happeningthat you would expect somebody
much later in life to be havingto experiencing it, and you're
enduring all of this under 40yeah, that's uh.
Kirsten (23:07):
When I go to the medical system, all the nurses
and they're like this is unheardof they.
They each ask me my story andthey're like wow, I've never
heard of that, like they're.
They're equally as shocked.
Um, the other thing, too is Ididn't.
So it's melanoma, but I don'thave a primary skin spot where
(23:28):
the cancer started, so theydon't know how it started.
I have my beliefs or thoughtsaround it.
I think there's a big holisticapproach to that as well as to
why it came about.
But an interesting thing, whereI was living at the time.
So my neighbour she was twodoors down from me and then in
(23:51):
between us there's anotherneighbour and me Three of us in
those three properties were alldiagnosed with a type of cancer.
So she had bowel cancer, themiddle neighbour had melanoma.
They were skin spots and I hadmelanoma in my bones.
So that was part of the reasonI moved from that location,
because for me that's not, thatdoesn't just happen like.
Trudie (24:15):
That's not normal to me that this location, so many
people are getting diagnosedthat doesn't seem normal to me
either, I have to admit, andlike you, I would be wanting to
move.
But are you saying that youmoved right in the middle of you
going through all this healingtreatment that you just decided?
(24:36):
Hey, I'm going to move on topof it, because moving is
traumatic in itself, like foranybody that has to do a move.
But you're dealing with allthese health issues and now
you're moving too.
Kirsten (24:45):
Yeah, Well, from the moment I was diagnosed, my
husband and I we went to stay atmy sister's on the Sunshine
Coast for New Year's Eve and wewere actively looking for
properties.
Then we just knew we had toleave.
Stay at my sister's on theSunshine Coast for New Year's
Eve and we were actively lookingfor properties.
Then we just knew we had toleave.
I'd kind of wanted to move fora little while but hadn't been
brave enough or didn't want touplift everyone.
But in this moment we knew thatwe just needed to go somewhere
(25:08):
peaceful.
And we got a few questions fromyou know well-meaning friends
and family saying why are youmoving so far away from medical
services?
We bought a house that hasstairs.
At the time I couldn't climbstairs.
I've been on crutches fornearly 18 months now and I just
said, well, I will one day likeI'm not.
I'm not moving there with theintention that I'm going to go
(25:32):
there to finish my life there,like I'm going there to extend
my life or to make my lifehealthier.
Again, back to my plantmedicine journey.
I saw myself climbing stairs.
This was before I moved here.
I saw this healthy womanclimbing upstairs.
She was carrying a bunch ofpapaya fruit and that just said
(25:55):
to me okay, well, who cares ifthere's stairs, like I'll get
there one day and the house thatwe bought, I basically live
downstairs, I don't need to goupstairs.
I can now, but, um, yeah, Ijust I kept looking forward.
There was no that.
You know the diagnosis and thetime frames.
It just wasn't on my radar.
Maybe I'm people might thinkI'm naive maybe I am, but I just
(26:20):
don't focus on that.
It's still not in my you know,in my thoughts.
Yes, I have moments of you know, like at the moment.
I have a PET scan on Thursdayand it's every time you're like,
oh, like, it just makes younervous, what's going to show up
, what's not going to show up?
But I just actively take myselfback to no, no, just be in the
moment.
Whatever happens, you can workon it then.
(26:43):
Another little affirmation thatI have is a new day equals a
new day of healing.
So each day that I wake up is achance for me to learn
something new about myself, orlearn a new way, new modality,
or to put in place those thingsthat I know that will help my
(27:03):
body, help my mind.
Trudie (27:05):
I don't think you're naive in your approach to that,
because there is a saying thatsays where your attention goes,
energy flows.
And if you constantly focus onthat negative outcome and
negative time frame that doctorsso often want to give you when
you're dealing with a cancertreatment, is that that's where
(27:28):
your attention goes.
But, on the other hand, if youjust concentrate on healing your
body and living your best lifeand doing what's right for you,
then that's where your energy isgoing is into all those
positive things.
So you would have to expectthat that's where a lot of the
goodness is going to come from.
Kirsten (27:50):
Yeah, absolutely.
And there's this saying I don'tknow who said it, but it says
from the moment we're born, weare all terminal.
And when I heard that I justthought, oh, like that just took
away all the worry that I'm theonly one who's gonna lose their
life, like anyone can go, youknow, and I hear of people
passing away from various thingssickness, accidents, whatever
(28:14):
and why should I be living mylife?
That, oh, this could be thelast day, or this might be my
last week or month, or nobodyknows.
No one knows when their time isup.
So that's what I focused on wasjust yeah, each day is another
day that I'm here.
Trudie (28:30):
And how lucky am I such a beautiful way to look at
things.
I do need to ask you throughoutthis journey because it's been
a two-year journey for youpractically, or at least 18
months, and you've got two youngchildren under the age of 10
how have they coped?
One and two, how have you coped, as a mother, going through
(28:55):
this journey with them?
Kirsten (28:57):
well, um, I'm just going to hear that brings up a
lot of emotion.
So it's basically two yearssince I first started
experiencing pain.
So April 2023 was when I firsthad the pain and I was
homeschooling them.
We were, you know, out andabout all the time, as I said, I
used to go climbing trees, we'dgo skating every week and then,
(29:21):
all of a sudden, I just had tostop doing certain things
because mummy's in pain and thekids have been absolutely
amazing.
They don't know my diagnosis.
We never told them.
There were times when I was inhospital at my lowest point and
they were saying to us you know,it might be a good time to
speak to the kids, do you wantcounsellors?
And I just couldn't do it.
(29:42):
And I still.
Then, even when I was that low,I did not see the end.
When I look back on photos,it'd be easy to see why people
thought this was the end for her.
But I didn't.
I just did not cross my mind.
So the kids just know thatmummy has weak bones.
(30:03):
First, before my cancerdiagnosis, I was diagnosed with
osteopenia, which is basicallypre-osteoporosis.
So we just tell them my bonesare weak and there's, you know,
certain things have caused this.
So I just have to try and findways to get stronger.
And the doctors and healers areall helping mummy.
(30:23):
Unfortunately, term four lastyear unfortunately for me,
because I loved homeschoolingbut I wasn't doing so well.
I couldn't give to them the waythey needed me to.
We ended up sending them toschool.
We found a beautiful littleindependent school which is from
prep to 10.
There's only about 50 60 kids,so sending them there was really
(30:47):
hard for me.
But it's been great for them tohave connection with friends
and it's a really smallcommunity.
So they've been reallysupportive of my journey,
helping us to keep them safe andhappy and, you know, really
nurtured the principal'sabsolutely amazing.
So yeah, it's.
You know my little boy.
(31:09):
Last year he said to me when Iwas in bed for about six or
eight months, could barely doanything get up and go to the
toilet, take myself outside toground my feet every day, get
some sun.
Might have been five minutesand then I'd be back to bed.
And he said to me one day Mummy, do you know why I love you so
(31:32):
much?
And I said why?
And he said because you needlove to get better out of the
mouths of babes.
Trudie (31:46):
Oh yeah it.
Kirsten (31:47):
Just it broke me but it also gave me so much strength.
It was just what I needed, butnot not necessarily from him,
because I mean, yes, I do needand want love from him, but I
didn't want him to feel like hehad to do it for me.
Being someone who grew up beinga carer because I had a brother
(32:11):
with a disability and a dad whohad mental health issues and
was basically non-existent, Iput myself out.
You know I missed out on mychildhood in a lot of ways and I
didn't want that for my kids.
So I was very proactive inmaking sure they were safe, they
(32:32):
were looked after, theirchildhood wasn't taken away from
them.
I accepted all the support thatI could.
You know, as mums we're quiteproud and it's hard to accept
support when we're supposed tobe the ones looking after
everybody.
But I just made the decisionthat if people were offering
help, I would accept it so thatmy kids didn't have to be
(32:54):
stepping up more than theyalready were.
Trudie (32:57):
You know, they were already missing out on time with
mummy and me nurturing thembecause I basically had to just
go within and look after myselffor a very long time yeah, and
there's so much to say in whatyou've just said, and the first
(33:18):
one I want to go back to is thatobviously you had to make, like
you said, you've made somereally big, tough decisions in
this whole healing journey andone of those has had to stop
homeschooling your children andsend them to school and inside
of that you've given them aspace to be children, which is
what you said you wanted them todo is not have this awkward
(33:39):
childhood, actually have what isrelatively a normal childhood,
but also it's probably given youtime and space to actually just
be with yourself and do whatyou need to do.
But just going back to what yourson said in, like you just need
love to heal, like out of themouths of babes, like what's
(34:03):
there for me is that it's sotrue in that if we all just
loved each other and were kindto each other and supported each
other more as a general society, then half the stress, anxiety,
disease because it's let's bereal, it's dis-ease would be
(34:23):
almost eliminated.
Like, these little human beingsget it more than we do.
They do.
Kirsten (34:32):
Yeah, I, you know, I've been really, really fortunate
that I've had such amazingsupport around me.
In the very beginning, I justkept saying to my husband and my
sister I just want to go outinto nature and I want to curl
up like an animal.
You know, when animals areunwell, they just curl up,
preserve all their energy untilthey're better again.
(34:52):
That's all I kept picturingmyself doing was going out,
curling up in the bush or on amountain and just blocking out
the outside noise and just goingwithin.
And that's basically what I didmoving here.
So we moved to a beautifulmountain property and I just
held up.
A lot of the time was in bed,but I had this beautiful big
(35:13):
window just looking outside, thetrees, the birds flying around,
and just going within andgiving to myself.
But in doing that, like I hadto give up all my roles, as a
mum, as a wife, as a friend.
But I have the most amazingpeople who stepped in and
(35:33):
allowed me to do that.
You know my husband was stillworking, but he never made me
feel guilty for not doinganything.
You know, there were days whereI'd cry and say I'm so sorry
and he would just reply don't be, this is your time, you know.
This is your time to heal, andhearing that and knowing that I
(35:57):
was safe to to go within andbasically check out of life was,
you know, not many people getthat.
I know of other people who theirhusbands don't support them in
that way or they don't havefamily and friends around who
will come and live with them andtake over your role as mum and
(36:20):
cook and clean.
My mother-in-law just wouldcome for however long she needed
to and she'd fill the freezer.
Um, all the washing was alwaysdone, the cleaning.
My mum come up whenever shecould, but she has a son with a
disability so she's still caring, but she would just check in
every day, send messages.
My sister, my older sister, hasjust you know, she was always
(36:45):
there at the end of a message.
All of her treatment protocolshave been amazing.
She's never it's never feltlike too much to ask her for a
support, although sometimes Idid sort of pull back because I
know how mentally exhausting itis caring for someone or
(37:06):
supporting someone.
So I was mindful that I didn'tburden her with everything.
But I just never felt like thatand I had friends who would
come up and stay because Icouldn't go and visit them.
They'd come and just sit in bedwith me.
We'd chat for a bit, I'd have asleep and they would hang out
with my kids and help my husband.
(37:26):
So yeah, having all thosepeople and their love was
priceless love was priceless, Ican imagine it would be.
Trudie (37:41):
because, like you said, just having all that support
there, and especially that ofyour husband because, like you
said, it could make or break amarriage and I think that's
where your wedding vows of insickness and in health really
come into play as well are youreally going to be there, and
it's just beautiful to see thatyour husband has been there,
that your extended family hasbeen there, your friends have
been there, like everyone isthere to support you in this
(38:05):
journey, and you don't have tofeel guilty about it, you don't
have to worry about it.
You just get to focus onbecoming the best version of
yourself again, so that you canjust continue to be here with
everybody yeah, exactly.
Kirsten (38:23):
Um, you know, like I said earlier in the we were
talking, that everyone juststarted falling around me.
So when I moved here, I startedlooking for different people to
support me.
So an IV nurse, acupuncture,chiropractor, healers there were
times where I was seeing twodifferent counsellors holistic
(38:44):
counsellors each week, as wellas the acupuncturist, and he
taught my husband and Imeditation.
People were dropping in foodwho didn't even really know us.
Yeah, it was just amazing tosee the support rally around,
even for someone they didn'tknow, and it's interesting
(39:05):
because I've always been thatperson and I think part of me
moving from where I was was toget away from being that one
who's just constantly giving,giving, giving, and now I had to
learn to receive and that wasone of my biggest lessons was,
yeah, learning to accept helpand that I'm worthy of
(39:27):
everything that I was giving toeverybody yeah, such an
important lesson for many of usto actually take on in the fact,
especially if we are givers inthis world.
Trudie (39:38):
I know I'm.
My love language is gift givingand I'm a giver.
My second love language is actsof service.
So it's very much in that frameof of giving, and it's not
until you are in a situationwhere you have to start
receiving that it actually doestake some work to be able to be
in that space of receivingeverything back.
(40:00):
So the fact that you were ableto do that I'm sure helped you
on your journey yeah, it did.
It took a lot, but it'sdefinitely yep definitely helped
the one thing I want to askthroughout the whole thing,
because it sounds like even fromthe very beginning and
throughout various aspects ofthe process, you have had a
(40:22):
really strong positive mindsetlike what are some of the things
that has had you either one bethat way or two stay that way.
Because, like you said, goingback and looking in the mirror
of when you went from like 60kilos down to 45, and you said
you looked in the mirror as likean old woman and I mean,
(40:43):
obviously we're sitting here ona zoom call and you do not look
like that today.
You look, you are glowing, likehow has that been for you?
Kirsten (40:51):
um, so I haven't always been this way for much of my
childhood.
So probably since about 16 Istarted seeing a counsellor.
I was put on antidepressantsand all throughout my life, on
and off, I was seeingcounsellors.
Even psychiatrists had anxiety,depression.
(41:13):
And it wasn't till aboutprobably four years ago now I
started working on myself.
You know, on a.
Six years was when I startedreally cleaning up food and
detoxing and I did a assistedmedicine journey and that just
changed.
That rewired my brain.
I couldn't read a book.
(41:33):
You know, all through highschool I couldnwired my brain.
I couldn't read a book.
You know, all through highschool I couldn't read.
I could but I couldn't retainanything.
Then I went on to study as apastry chef.
I really struggled in all ofthe theoretical work, probably
read maybe two books since highschool.
After doing this journey Ithink I read about five books in
one year.
I couldn't believe it and I wasretaining it all and I was like
(41:54):
just loving it.
But that that just changed me.
My confidence just soared.
I healed a lot, a lot of.
I had postnatal anxiety withboth of my kids, to the point I
was medicated, never wanted todo the medication, I kept
putting it off, and then I didbecause I wasn't improving.
I then did hypnosis a couple oftimes, started working with a
(42:21):
holistic counsellor, and thattrumped all of the psychologists
that I'd seen since 16.
I'm not saying that they didn'tplay a role in, you know,
helping me, but I was never ableto truly heal these things that
I was holding on to fromchildhood and but I honestly
think that one journey just justchanged my life, and I credit
(42:45):
that so much to the way mymindset has been throughout all
of this that's an incrediblejourney to be on, like to look
at yourself from so far back toyour childhood and how you've
come now and it's it's literallybeen a journey that you've been
on and I want to take you backto, like the beginning of the
(43:08):
conversation.
Trudie (43:09):
You said that this didn't happen to you.
It happened for you.
What are some of the lessonsthat you've started?
Or the wisdom?
I don't want to say lessons, Imean we're all here to learn.
I think every day we're aliveon this earth we are learning,
but it's the wisdom we get fromthose learnings like what has
been that that's come out wholetime period for you.
Kirsten (43:33):
I think probably so.
I always was diagnosed orlabeled as anxious.
I don't believe that anymore.
I think I'm very intuitive,sensitive, you know whatever you
want to call it, but being opento spirituality in my own way.
(43:56):
I don't necessarily go tochurch or I don't not believe in
God, but I don't believe in God.
It's believing in a higher self, as what's really come out of
this for me.
And throughout this last coupleof years, there have been
moments where I'll be standingand looking looking at myself,
(44:19):
looking at myself, so it'sreally hard to explain.
But me now is looking at aversion of me, looking at the me
who's in bed or the me who'soutside on the lawn screaming
and crying in pain, asking forhelp.
I believe that's my higher selfwas looking over me, protecting
me, guiding me.
(44:41):
Also, gratitude has been awonderful thing.
You know, I used to go outsideand cry, scream, ask for help.
What can I do?
Show me what to do.
And then one day I just wentout and I said thank you and
started saying thank you for thethings that I had, thank you
for this beautiful land, for thenature that's holding me the
(45:05):
mountains, the trees, the birdsThank you for my family, those
people who are supporting me,and it just changed the way I
was feeling about everything.
And it just changed the way Iwas feeling about everything.
So now, through the big heavydays or moments, I start, you
know, looking at what am Igrateful for, what do I have
(45:26):
that's good and it always trumpsall the bad, negative feelings
and thoughts.
Trudie (45:33):
Wow, such a beautiful place to be in.
Feelings and thoughts.
Wow, such a beautiful place tobe in.
I want to thank you so much forbeing here today, for giving us
a real, raw and very vulnerableemotional share of your story,
because I think what you aregoing through and the fact that
(45:53):
you have the courage to speakout and share that story is
incredibly brave and I thinkmany of our listeners, whether
they're going through a similarjourney themselves or have
family members or friends goingthrough that journey, they will
gain some insight into what thatjourney is actually like.
(46:15):
So thank you for giving anotherpart of yourself like to the
listeners yeah, thank you.
Kirsten (46:23):
That's basically what, why I'm sharing my story.
It's hard and I know it can behard for other people to hear,
but ultimately I want to.
I want people to hear it and tomaybe think about how they can
help support themselves or theirloved ones in a truly holistic
way.
You know, I would love to saythat I didn't have to have
(46:46):
Western medicine, but I did.
But alongside that, I've doneso many other things to support
myself and, yeah, mindset hasbeen one of the biggest things,
and if I can help somebody findone thing that will support them
alongside whatever else they'redoing, then that's.
Trudie (47:02):
That's all I want out of this and me sharing my story
yeah, and it's not just the oneperson or the one thing, it's
that ripple effect that that onething then takes into the rest
of the world.
And that's what I love is thatyou can, by helping one person,
you actually begin to help somany others in the process.
So I always like to finish andfunnily you've already mentioned
(47:26):
it, but I always like to finishthe podcast episode with what
is the one thing you are mostgrateful for today.
Kirsten (47:34):
One thing, most grateful for today?
One thing, I guess my community, my family, but also my
strength.
If I didn't have this strengththen I possibly wouldn't be
doing as well as I am.
So many things I could bethankful for.
But yeah, that'll do it fortoday.
Trudie (47:56):
Thank you for tuning in to the Everyday Warriors
podcast.
If you have an idea for afuture episode or a story you'd
like to share yourself, thenplease reach out and message me,
as I am always up for real, rawand authentic conversations
with other Everyday Warriors.
Also, be sure to subscribe sothat you can download all the
(48:17):
latest episodes as they arepublished and spread the word to
your family and friends andcolleagues so they can listen in
too.
If you're sharing on socialmedia, please be sure to tag me
so that I can personallyacknowledge you.
I'm always open to commentabout how these episodes have
resonated with you, the listener.
(48:37):
And remember lead with love asyou live this one wild and
precious life.
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