August 3, 2025 • 46 mins
What if the most powerful healing tool was already at your fingertips? In this profound conversation with holistic counsellor Jo, we explore how the simple act of journaling became her lifeline while raising a son with cerebral palsy who required round-the-clock care.
Jo shares her deeply moving journey from overwhelm to acceptance, revealing how writing helped her process the "cluster emotions" that arose from being thrust into roles she never expected, nurse, therapist and full-time carer. More surprisingly, journaling helped her recognise and heal from childhood emotional neglect that had caused her to disconnect from her body decades earlier.
"I was feeling disconnected from my body, as though I was living on my shoulder but not in my body," Jo explains. "For years I never told anyone about that because I thought I was the only one." Today, we understand this dissociation as a classic trauma response, but Jo discovered her path back to embodiment through putting pen to paper.
The beauty of journal therapy lies in its accessibility, it's free, doesn't require appointments and can take whatever form works for you. Whether through traditional writing, artistic expression like mandalas, or even voice memos captured while driving, the goal is creating space to process emotions that might otherwise remain stuck in our bodies.
Most touchingly, Jo reveals how her son now 40, became her greatest teacher by challenging everything she'd been taught about having to "be, do, or become" to have value. Through journaling, she worked through her fears and eventually reached profound acceptance and unconditional love.
Whether you're navigating caregiver stress, processing past trauma, or simply feeling disconnected from yourself, this episode offers practical wisdom about how meeting your pain on paper can transform your relationship with yourself. As Jo reminds us, what we do to heal ourselves today ripples forward to impact future generations.
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Music Credit: Cody Martin - Sunrise (first 26 episodes) then custom made for me.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions, and stories shared on this podcast are personal to the host and guests and are not intended to serve as professional advice or guidance. They reflect individual experiences and perspectives. While we strive to provide valuable insights and support, listeners are encouraged to seek professional advice for their specific situations. The host and production team are not responsible for any actions taken based on the content of this podcast.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Trudie Marie (00:01):
Welcome to the Everyday Warriors podcast, the
perfect space to speak my truthand dive into deep conversations
with others.
This podcast is aboutcelebrating everyday warriors,
the people who face life'schallenges head on, breaking
through obstacles to buildresilience, strength and courage
.
Join me, your host, trudy Marie, as I sit down with inspiring
(00:26):
individuals who have foughttheir own battles and emerged
stronger, sharing raw, real andauthentic stories in a safe
space, allowing you to explore,question and find your own path
to new possibilities.
Let us all embrace the warriorwithin and realise that, while
(00:48):
no one is walking in your shoes,others are on this same path,
journeying through life together.
Please note that the followingpodcast may contain discussions
or topics that could betriggering or distressing for
some listeners.
I aim to provide informativeand supportive content, but
(01:11):
understand that certain thingsmay evoke strong emotions or
memories.
If you find yourself feelingoverwhelmed or in need of
support while listening, Iencourage you to pause the
podcast and take a break.
Remember that it is okay toprioritize your well-being and
seek assistance from trainedprofessionals.
(01:31):
There is no shame in this.
In fact, it is the first bravestep to healing.
If you require immediatesupport, please consider
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Thank you for listening andplease take care of yourself as
(01:54):
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(02:18):
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Your contribution helps me tocontinue bringing you inspiring
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Head to the link to buy me acoffee and fuel the next episode
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Every bit counts.
Every bit counts.
If you're looking for aninspiring story of resilience,
healing and rediscoveringyourself, then my book Everyday
Warrior From Frontline toFreedom is for you.
It is my memoir of hiking the1,000 kilometre Bibbulmun Track,
(03:04):
a journey that was as muchabout finding my way back to
myself as it was aboutconquering the trail through the
highs and lows and everythingin between.
This book is taken from myjournals and is my raw and
honest experience of overcomingtrauma and embracing the
strength within.
Grab your copy now.
Just head to the link in theshow notes, and let's take this
(03:27):
journey together.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Everyday Warriors podcast,
and today I have a guest with me, and for the first time in a
while it's actually a guest, Iknow.
So I met Jo here in the currenttown I am living in, so welcome
(03:49):
, jo.
Jo (03:51):
Thank you, Trudie.
Hello listeners.
Trudie Marie (03:54):
So we actually met through the local pop-up shop
that we have here in our town ofMingenew and we attended both
the stallholders last year.
Jo (04:07):
And a worthy visit too, wasn't it For six weeks Minganew
opens its stores and there's somuch talent in the farming
region.
Trudie Marie (04:15):
There is, and we're looking forward to hosting
it again this year, but we gotchatting purely because of what
you had at your stall.
We got chatting purely becauseof what you had at your stall if
you'd like to share about whatit is that you had.
Jo (04:31):
Yeah, and I think that's where we clicked too, because
you were going through theprocess of writing your book and
I was selling my books andjournals, and I guess that's
where it all started for me, andI think you were looking at my
book, specifically called yourbody relationship, which talked
about my experiences with stress, anxiety and depression, which
(04:52):
started primarily with my firstson, when he was around six
months old and starteddeveloping cerebral palsy, and
probably by two years old it was.
It was it was clear that he wasstill as dependent as a newborn
baby and there wouldn't be muchchange, and in fact, he's still
(05:16):
that that person today, at 40years old.
So I was thrust into roles thatI wasn't equipped for nurse,
mother, chauffeur, everythingyou know.
My life revolved aroundhospital appointments and
hospital stays and operations,and speech therapy is just a
very, very busy role and withevery one of them I was given
(05:38):
tasks to do at home for my son.
So I was no longer just hismother, and it wasn't long
before I was feeling the effectsof stress and, with such
limited time, I drew on atechnique that I had been
introduced to when I was 18 at ayouth camp, and that was
journaling.
I didn't know what I was doing,it was just probably an inbuilt
(06:01):
sense of safe, safety andself-preservation, actually, and
I just purged onto the pagesall my thoughts, stress, fears,
and I always felt betterafterwards with hospital visits.
I, a social worker, came by oneday and suggested counseling,
which the hospital offered, andI had two sessions, and the
(06:26):
first one was really quitepowerful.
She said let's draw a timelineand have a look at what's been
going on in your life.
And I said but I've never hadanything else happen.
You know, there's not reallybeen any trauma or anything.
You know, this is it, this iswhat I'm dealing with.
She goes no, no, no, let's justhave a look.
So we did a zero, starting atzero, to the age that I was and
(06:50):
all the events I could think ofalong that timeline, and what it
did for me was make me realisethat what I was feeling at the
time, coping with my son, was afeeling of being disconnected
from my body, as though I waslike living on.
I was there on my shoulder butnot in my body, and for years I
(07:13):
never told anyone about thatbecause I thought I was the only
one that felt that and that Iwas weird and that there was
something wrong with me.
Today, of course, we know thatthat's a trauma response.
You know it's disconnectionfrom your body.
Your body's holding all thatemotion and stress and tension.
It doesn't have an outlet andwe do disconnect.
(07:34):
It's a safety response.
And when I realized that, Irealized that I'd actually had
that feeling right back inchildhood, that I'd actually had
that feeling right back inchildhood and even though I
hadn't had any trauma, it was achildhood of, yes, I had a roof
(07:55):
over my head, I had clothes andI had food and I was attending
school.
But it was my parents parentedwith an austere kind of
parenting style.
There wasn't very much warmth.
There was never any.
Really, there was never any.
Really there was never any hugs.
I can't remember ever beinghugged.
There was never, uh, positiveself-esteem building or anything
.
There's a lot of it like don't,don't cry, put that anger away,
(08:15):
you're stupid or you know.
Just just a lot, of, a lot ofthat style of parenting which
actually did cause me todisconnect from my body because
it was very fearful and I neverhad emotions mirrored to me, so
I never.
I couldn't name them and Iwasn't allowed to express them.
And so I realized that thatdisconnection was right there,
(08:37):
right back in my childhood, andthat it was actually in itself a
form of trauma.
In fact today it's calledchildhood emotional neglect, and
it's not the fault of ourparents, it's just the way
society was at the time, and Iremember my mum's generation.
They were told they were havinga breakdown if they cried and
they were given Valium.
So it's just a sign of thetimes.
(09:00):
But fast forward to the timewhere I was dealing with my son.
I quickly realised that traumaisn't healed just mentally, that
I did have emotions.
I was feeling the stress andthe anxiety in my body and
spiritually.
I've never been religious anddidn't have a faith, so there
(09:21):
was nothing there for me to holdon to either.
But what I did find in thejournaling was that it did tick
those boxes.
It became a safe place for me toexpress emotion.
If I felt anything in my body,any tension, stress, pain, I
wrote to it and this is kind ofa natural thing that occurred
(09:42):
from connecting with my owninner wisdom.
So really the journal was myhealing place on all those
levels.
And spiritually.
I think I was connecting withinner wisdom which felt like the
spiritual part of me, and Igrew strength from that and I
had a lot of wise sort of advicecome through from that place
(10:03):
and so journaling became therapyfor me and today journal
therapy is the name of mybusiness.
And fast forward a few moreyears, I trained as a holistic
counsellor and specialising inartistic therapies, but
everything kept coming back tothe journal therapy and I love
(10:25):
it because it's free.
Anyone can do it anywhere.
It's not dependent onappointments.
So if you're time poor, youknow, even if it's night and
you're really tired, you canalways find a bit of space just
to connect with, with yourselfand I love that.
Trudie Marie (10:43):
I want to break down two things inside of that.
The first one you said goingback to childhood trauma.
And people think that it has tobe a big event, like whether
there was some kind of abuse ora death in the family at a young
age, or something really big.
But so many people it can besomething as simple as being
left out of an event at schoolor missing an event at school or
(11:07):
, you know, having somethingsaid to them at a young age that
that trauma starts really smalland what we perceive as adults
as being insignificant, but forthe child who's experiencing it
at the time they don't know howto cope with that.
They don't know how to copewith that.
They don't know how toexperience that, and then that's
the trauma that they then takewith them into their adult life
(11:29):
and it can happen again inadolescence.
Jo (11:31):
And we experience all these tiny traumas along the way.
Trudie Marie (11:35):
And the second thing that I want to say to that
, too, is that you said aboutjournaling and writing things
out, and I go back to when I wasat school and I kept a diary.
It was like when we wereyounger, it was this whole big
thing of actually keeping adiary and writing down all our
thoughts and our ideas and whatwas going on with us.
(11:55):
But then for many of usprobably most of us we get to
adulthood and we're like, yeah,meh, that was a childhood thing.
Yet you're literally sayingthat no, it's something we
should be doing or could bedoing on a more regular basis to
regulate our nervous systems.
Jo (12:15):
I think you, you know that's a really important key.
When you said something thathappened in childhood, I had a
memory that I only actuallywrote about last week and that's
why I laughed how many of uswere chosen last for school
sports teams.
My hands up, my hands up too,yeah, and it was only last week.
(12:40):
I experienced something and Irealised you know what that had
a huge impact on my confidencein putting myself forward today,
because there's that fear I'mgoing to be chosen last.
But the fear is really aboutfeeling the pain of that which I
didn't know about when I was achild and I didn't do as a child
.
So when I realized that, I wasable to shed some tears that I'd
(13:03):
been holding onto for many,many, many years over the
humiliation and the shame andthe embarrassment of constantly
being chosen last for schoolsports teams, that is a little
trauma that's followed methrough.
It's a perfect example of whatyou're saying, trudy.
And the other thing I thoughtof when you said that was my
other son and daughter were inyear six and seven.
(13:25):
The school put out a letterasking for parent help for some
children who were strugglingwith literacy.
And, of course, once you getinto high school.
They're saying they can getlost in the system.
So if we don't offer thesechildren some one-on-one today,
we don't want that for them.
So I put my hand up and we weregiven a sheet and we had to
(13:48):
encourage the children, theyoung adults by this stage, to
use the joiners and look at theway that they're putting
sentences together.
And after about six weeks Ijust threw my hands up in the
air.
There wasn't the interest andthey weren't getting it.
And I said to the teacher can Ido some journaling with them?
And she said do anything.
And so I asked.
(14:12):
I had one female and one maleand I asked these two for a
memory of their favorite holiday.
So they both told me thosestories and I said then how
about you write that as aconversation on your page?
Just write it as if you'retelling me again which they did
do.
And I saw their you know theirfaces and their, their passion
(14:37):
doing it.
It was something that all thefear of not meeting those
writing and literacy indicatorshad been removed for them.
So they were able to justbasically like write
cathartically I guess.
But what happened was when weread it back, all those joiners
were there, naturally becauseit's the way we speak, but their
(15:01):
brain was so conditioned thatthey couldn't do it or they were
fearing the humiliation becausethey couldn't do it that it
stopped them getting it on paper.
That was such a breakthrough.
So from then on, we, we, justwe.
We did the journaling and Ijust remember those two when I
see them in the shopping centeror in community over the next
five years and the big smiles ontheir faces and how much that
(15:23):
freed them up, and somethingthat you said starting a diary
in school.
It just makes me think it'ssomething in us that it's a
natural thing.
That we want to do is toreflect and, you know, just keep
a record of how we're feelingand what we're doing.
Trudie Marie (15:40):
Yeah, and I think journaling is so personal as
well, and what you said aboutthe kids at school and helping
them with you know a specificaspect of literacy.
But with a journal it doesn'tmatter how you write, it doesn't
matter how you spell it,doesn't matter your sentence
structure.
It is literally putting yourthoughts into words on paper and
(16:02):
you can do that in whatever way, shape, form it takes.
And I think in the currentclimate of mindset, coaching and
people doing all the stuff andlike write down your gratitudes
right, like start a journal,people think that there's this
really specific way of doingthings when it's a matter of
picking up a blank piece ofpaper and writing a whole bunch
(16:24):
of stuff out and you know, goburn it if you want to or go
throw whatever, rip it up andput it in the bin if you want to
.
It's the actual act of writing.
And I think, in the the currentform of technology where
everything is typed onto a phoneor, you know, typed onto a
computer, that we've actuallyforgotten the art form of
actually just writing carefree.
(16:46):
And I think that that's whatjournaling reintroduces to us,
like we did when we were kids,that we just write about
anything and everything.
Jo (16:55):
And I think you made a really important point when you
said burn it.
You know, if you want to, I um,there's a lot of that cathartic
rising where we're just gettingout our anger and we might be
making judgments and projectprojections and it's just
getting it out.
It's not, it's it's safe doingit that way, you know, and it's
still getting it out withouthurting anybody.
But it's not something we'dwant someone to read.
(17:16):
But, um, it reminds me of whenI first started teaching
journaling to some women and theconversation about hiding your
journal come up and that wasactually something that
prevented people from writing.
They didn't want anyone to readit.
But you know, that's really justabout not wanting certain
(17:37):
aspects of yourself to be seen.
But the interesting thing iswhen it, when you process it on
the page and it's out and it'sgone.
It has no power over you and itdoesn't really mean anything.
So if someone does see it, it'slike it won't trigger any pain
because you've dealt with thepain, the pain's out on the
paper and so that's a reallykind of.
(17:59):
That was a real measure for mewhen I got to that space, and
not that I want anyone to to seethat kind of writing, or that I
really left it out, but I wasno longer afraid to journal for
the fear of that, if that makessense.
Trudie Marie (18:12):
A hundred percent.
I totally relate that with mybook because, as you know, my
book Everyday Warrior is myjournals from hiking the
Bibbulmun track.
Now, when I started the Bibtrack and I was writing in my
journal as part of mypsychotherapy because my
psychologist had suggested it sothat we could go back and deal
with anything or reflect withanything on the track when I
(18:34):
went to my appointmentsafterwards, but I found it so
cathartic to actually justwhatever had come up on the day
whether it was somethingemotional, something physical,
something a memory that hadoccurred or something I dealt
with that I could just get itall out on paper.
And then when I decided topresent that as a book for
(18:56):
everybody else to read myjournals, it was like that's
okay.
I mean, obviously I redacted alot of the really sensitive
stuff because I was like thereare certain things you don't
want people to read.
But for most part I was like,like you just said, there is no
power over the words anymore,like it doesn't mean anything.
Jo (19:17):
And I had so much healing, not just from the journey of
hiking the bib trap but writingmy book and making my journals
public was a whole differentlevel of healing because it was
like anything written in theremeans nothing anymore and and
also you know, if it did, if,for example and I've got my
(19:38):
story out too Trudy and if thereis anything that ever comes
back as a result of aspects ofthat story, I find that it's a
perfect trigger for somethingthat still needs healing within
me, and so I just take that tothe page and then work with that
, and so that's given me anopportunity.
Because that's the thing withreactions and projections from
(19:58):
other people All this stuff isinvisible inside us.
So unless it comes from outside, or unless we cry at a sad
movie or get angry at somethingon the news, we don't know
what's inside us.
And so I kind of see I nevertell anybody that, but I kind of
see those, those figures andprojections as healing
opportunities and I use them asthat.
(20:20):
So I take that to the page andthen process that.
So so really, even if anythingdoes come up from from the
sharing, it's just anotheropportunity to heal, totally
agree, yeah.
So now.
Now you said something beforetoo about writing your journal,
and when you said that, Ithought of the Minunu Arts art
(20:41):
exhibition last year.
So I had my journals, but youalso had some art, and it was
the Zentangles, the mandalas,yes, and I'm looking at this
array of art, and there was ajournal there too.
So my point is that it's notjust writing.
(21:01):
You know that, that your artcan be a way that you express
your feelings and emotions andthoughts.
Your art can be a way to tapinto your inner wisdom.
So there's writing and there'sart, and for someone else that
might be making videos, you know, a journal doesn't have to be
just writing no, I totally agree.
Trudie Marie (21:20):
I mean there are art journals, like there are
people that actually keep artdiaries or journals as part of,
if they're an artist, likecapturing sketches or you know,
quick oil paintings or whatever,wherever they are.
But that's exactly how it allstarted for me.
I started doing the zentanglesand the mandalas as part of my
(21:40):
art therapy in my own healingjourney and it's something that
I kept going with.
I even did macrame at one stage, because the therapeutic
knotting of cord, I you know.
But I got something out of it atthe end and I think that's the
beauty whether it's journalingand writing or journaling and
art that when you're getting allthose emotions trapped emotions
(22:04):
often out of your body is thatyou have something then to show
for it, whether it's a beautifulpiece of art or a beautiful
piece of writing, it's thatresult that I think, that gives
you that validation in thatmoment that okay, cool, I've got
something to show for it,whereas often, when you've done
talk therapy which is obviouslythe traditional going to see
(22:27):
your psychiatrist or yourpsychologist is that all you've
done is talk for an hour.
You may have cried or whatever,but there's nothing to show for
it at the end.
So you get stuck in this cycleof just repeated patterns,
whereas when you actually canthen reflect back over and look
at that piece of art or look atthat piece of writing, you've
got something to show for it,which means you can then either
(22:49):
put it to bed or move forwardfrom that.
Jo (22:54):
It's well said, trudy.
Very well said because, as Imentioned before, everything,
emotion particularly isinvisible inside us.
Thoughts are invisible insideus.
So if we can make them manifest, it brings them into reality
and I think it helps with thatfeeling of actually connecting
with your body.
Again, you're seeing somethingtangible as a result of
(23:16):
something you did, and even yourwalking walking when you're
telling me that you're walkingor you mentioned that before the
thing with trauma and anxietyand, as I said, you know that
feeling of disconnected, notbeing in your body, because the
body is no longer a safe place.
You actually walked yourselfback into your body and that's a
really important point too,because with the walking, you
(23:39):
are releasing stress, you'rereleasing anxiety, but at the
same time, your mind isprocessing things and getting
clear and you're able toarticulate when you stopped it,
you know, at the end of the day,and started writing.
I just think it's an importantpoint.
It makes me think well, thatyou know the body is a journal.
Trudie Marie (23:57):
It holds all our stories and it's really good to
find a way, something physicalthat we can do that will
minimize the stress and clearthe mind and allow those stories
to come up, to be heard andhealed yeah, I totally agree and
just going back to like yourstory and the aspect that this
(24:18):
all came about for you in a bigway once your son was diagnosed
with special needs, how has thatthen helped you with that
journey?
Like you said, he's now 40 andin some ways he's no different
to when he was two because ofhis special needs.
How has the whole process ofjournaling helped you as a
(24:40):
mother during that process?
Jo (24:44):
I think the situation created cluster emotions, and by
that I mean it was so complex.
It was very hard to say I'm sador I I'm scared, because I was
feeling everything.
But going to the page was anatural process of unpacking it
(25:04):
bit by bit, and so the fearwould come out and then the
anger might come out and beneathall that sadness, you know, so
it was a great way to unpackthat cluster emotion.
But also it was there's a greatway to understand exactly what
it was that I was fearing, youknow, because again the fear was
(25:24):
clustered fears, you know, fearthat I wouldn't cope, fear that
he wouldn't survive, and, andchallenging that and coming to
terms with that.
So that's obviously not justone journal entry, that that's a
theme over a period of years.
Eventually I got to the stagewhere I realised that he was my
(25:45):
best teacher in life.
What he couldn't do or thingsthat I was triggered by not
being verbal, not being able tofeed himself, his complete
dependency, triggered everythingin me that had taught me that I
had to be, do or become to be aperson of value.
(26:05):
So he was my child, completelydependent for every single thing
in his life and I loved himunconditionally and that was
such a good teacher for me.
I still feel weepy when I thinkabout that, you know, as
transitioning from oh my gosh,I've probably walked the line of
a breakdown several times overthose years from that
(26:27):
conditioning that I have to be,do or become and I have to deal
with this and I have to copewith this without help, do it on
my own.
So it was just a huge.
He's been a huge gift and Ifeel that I am who I am today
because of his disabilities andhis challenges and his special
(26:48):
needs.
Also, you know, there was alwaysa fear he was not going to live
by, he would not survive pastfive, and then then it was 12,
then it was 21 and then it wasjust.
Well, it's left up to him nowand I didn't want him to die
until I got to the point where Ireally really, really totally
loved him for who he was and Ijust felt so fortunate to have
(27:12):
been able to get to that place,you know, as his mum, and just
accept him and love him as hewas.
I actually wrote a lot of thatin my first book.
It's the biography called myBody is my Liberation.
So by working through what Iwas feeling in my body.
I got to that freedom withinmyself, and so a lot of my
(27:34):
stories are in that book.
Trudie Marie (27:36):
Yeah, that's such a beautiful journey to be on
like.
As a mother, we want to acceptour children for exactly who
they are, and I understand whatit takes to be the parent of a
special child not from my ownperspective, but my niece has
special needs and quitedependent special needs and you
(27:59):
do learn through them of and Ilove what you said about.
We're so conditioned to besomething, do something or
become something, because that'sprevalent throughout our whole
lives.
Our parents want us to be acertain way or do a certain
thing or become a certain thing,and when we're at high school,
(28:21):
where you know what's next,what's university, what's work,
what's next, and then when we'rein that job, it's like, okay,
you get married, you buy a house, you have a family, but there's
all this conditioning.
And when you can actually peelall that back and just accept a
person for just who they are, aswhat your son is Like, he has a
(28:44):
purpose in this world, eventhough he can't do a lot, he
can't become a lot.
He's a teacher, he's a teacherand he's a human being having
this experience in this life andallowing everybody else around
him to learn from him as well.
I just think that's such abeautiful aspect that is so
(29:05):
overlooked by so many people.
Jo (29:07):
I think so.
And then you know, the biggestgift, as I said, I think is what
is missing for a lot of us fromchildhood is to to feel that we
are that cherished child.
Certainly, to be able to givethat to him meant that I
recognized I was missing that inmy own foundation and that
really there's only us that canbring that to ourselves as
(29:28):
adults, just learning to cherishourselves, be that person, you
know, just be that person forourselves as well.
Trudie Marie (29:36):
I I love that and I will ask you, inside of you,
doing your own journaling aspart of your therapy in coping
and you said that you had otherchildren as well.
Did you also introduce that tothem to help them cope with
their life of living with asibling with special needs?
Jo (29:58):
They do journal and it has inspired them.
They've had their own journeyas siblings and that's a kind of
that's a very personal journeyagain and I think it manifested
differently for my son and mydaughter but I definitely
instilled and my daughter but Idefinitely instilled journaling
(30:19):
and they keep it up and it's ago-to for them.
I find that it's quite movingto see that, particularly that
my daughter's developed thathabit processing her own
challenges, but that my son haswhen he's in a place where he
needs to look then he goes tothe journal and I really like
(30:45):
that.
Trudie Marie (30:45):
Yeah, it must be like a proud mom moment that
you've learned this therapyyourself and you've been able to
pass it on and just especiallytalking about your son.
I'll then ask about yourhusband to see if he does the
same thing, because I know thatfor many of us in society it
seems to be a natural thing fora woman to do, but not so much
(31:05):
for a male to do.
Jo (31:08):
Unfortunately, you are right .
But having said that, I'm surethere are men out there who do
journaling and and maybe noteven realizing that they're
doing it, and that's probablywhere my husband is at today.
It's just so beautiful to watchwhen he does sit down and do it
and that he starts reflectingon his own life and things that
(31:31):
happened years and years andyears ago come up to be seen,
and that he didn't reallyrealise that they were still
impacting on him today.
So it's a very powerful mediumfor anybody anywhere at any
stage in life.
Trudie Marie (31:45):
Yeah, and I think, if we can get into that
practice earlier, like we said,remembering that we all kept
diaries as kids at school.
Or you know and we are taughtabout it from a very young age,
like I think you know, goingback to the early stages of
writing you would write in yourdaily workbook and, yes, you
(32:05):
draw a picture with it and, yes,you would write about what you
did on the weekend or the daybefore.
Or you know, even kids thathave time off school and go on
like holiday adventures withtheir parents are told to keep a
travel journal so that they'vegot something to bring back and
that's their education whilethey're away.
And all this happens sonaturally when we're younger.
(32:28):
Yet when we get to adulthood,we're so scared of picking up a
pen or a paper because we wantit to be perfect or we're afraid
of being judged by it.
And if we can strip all thatback and remember what it's like
to be a five or six year old atschool, writing in our daily
workbooks and drawing a pictureor, you know, some kind of
(32:50):
doodle to go along with that,then there are so many aspects
of life that would be so muchbetter.
Jo (32:58):
You're so right, and we've grown up in emotionally phobic
societies, and I think that'sprobably why there's some
resistance, because it's goingto connect with our emotions.
But that brings me to the pointwhere what I just thought of
when you were saying that isthat we do have two sides of us.
We have a logic side and wehave a creative side, and the
(33:20):
journaling nurtures the creativeside it's that expression that
we're talking about whereas weare predominantly we've been
brought up in logic society.
So, and I think that's whyjournaling is so healthy,
because it nurtures and bringsboth those sides into balance.
Trudie Marie (33:39):
It does, and even in the logic of actually writing
words on paper, because thereis a natural logic to that, like
you're forming letters andwords and that whole logic, part
of our brain, is coming intoplay, but being creative to just
get whatever those thoughts areout onto paper, like I said,
(34:02):
without any judgment orcriticism, or sentence structure
and spelling mistakes, like whocares at the end of the day,
and I think there is a certainfreedom in that that for many of
us we've forgotten.
Jo (34:17):
I think it's a natural part of expression because you said
it yourself when you werekeeping a diary as a kid, you
were drawing some drawings aswell.
So that's your nonverbal sidecoming into play and it's
integrating with the logic side.
Trudie Marie (34:32):
Yeah, so true, and I think many teachers would
probably agree that there's thiswhole forgotten activity that
we did and that it's yeah, it'ssomething that anybody at any
age can pick up a pen and paperand start to do.
Jo (34:50):
Again, we're seeing that globally in cyberspace today
there's such a big rise increativity, so much on offer now
.
Trudie Marie (35:00):
Yeah, and I think, like you said earlier on, that
it doesn't matter whether it'sthe art of writing down or the
the art of actually creating anart piece.
But you did also mention videoand I often think that you look
at social media like whetherit's Facebook or Instagram or
TikTok especially TikTok isoften people's journals of like,
(35:25):
actually sharing their thoughtsand their expressions and their
creativity and telling theworld how it is.
But inside those spaces we thenare opening ourselves to the
judgment and criticism, becauseeverybody wants to comment or
opinion on it, but people needto feel safe in being able to
(35:46):
express themselves freely.
So I often think that when youcan do it in private, like the
art of writing a journal is somuch more cathartic because it
is for your eyes only and it'sjust you being able to process
your own thoughts, emotions,what's going on.
Jo (36:06):
For you it's authentic and you're in integrity with
yourself, whereas sometimes,when it, when we're putting out
on social media, we have thisidea that we've got to live up
to something or, you know, itmay not be as authentic, but it
also made me think of learningstyles, that somebody whose
logic is going to write,somebody who's more creative,
(36:27):
might draw somebody who's morelike the video drama, that kind
of thing, you know, is thatthat's I forget the name of that
intelligence, but they're thepeople that'll be really good at
videoing their life.
You know, we've all got astrength, that is that comes
naturally to us, and so if wecan find that, that's going to
(36:48):
be our best form of expression.
Trudie Marie (36:51):
I tend to agree.
I think it's working with yourstrengths in whatever shape or
form that takes.
But and I think that goes backto, like I said, it doesn't have
to be this perfect journal thatyou buy from the shop and that
you write in every day and ittakes on a certain format.
It's like pick up a scrap ofpaper, go to your printer and,
(37:12):
you know, grab a blank sheet oryou know, scribble something on
the back of a receipt.
If you have to like whatever itis like, the point is to just
do it regardless of that whenI'm out.
Jo (37:25):
When I'm out, judy, and inspiration hits.
I've been known to write on theback of a receipt.
Trudie Marie (37:30):
You just grab whatever comes to hand voice
memo has become my friend on myphone because if I'm, especially
if I'm driving and you can't Ialways before I do a long
distance drive because, like,obviously from Minganew to Perth
it's four hours but I alwaysopen up the voice recording or
the voice memo section on myphone because if I'm driving for
(37:51):
four hours and things cross mymind, I can't stop and write it
down.
So I just like flick from mygoogle maps to the voice
recording, hit record and writeand speak exactly what I'm
thinking, and then I can alwaysgo back and journal on that.
I can go back and create onthat.
But I've got it there as areminder because so often we
forget, like you, something willcross your mind and as quick as
(38:13):
it's crossed your mind, it'sgone again and there's another
thought there and sometimessomebody will say something that
go and you go ouch, that hurt,you know, not outwardly, but
inwardly.
Jo (38:24):
I always write those down as well because I would forget by
the time I got home.
But there's something there forme to work with, because I
heard, heard, so there's that,and I've even heard
conversations in passing thathave had a message for me.
It's just when you startlooking it's really inspiring
about how much is out there thatcan help you on your healing.
(38:45):
Just take yourself for a walkand see what it is that you take
notice of.
There's so much to write about.
Trudie Marie (38:52):
Totally true.
I mean, mean, even when I washiking the bib track, like there
would be days where you knowit'd be stuff that was about the
track because the trap testedme in ways that I didn't realize
it would.
But then other days it was liketotal thought patterns and
things that had come up for meso you never knew what you were
going to write down.
At the end of the day it was.
Jo (39:13):
It's all part of the process it's a surprise, and I love
networking those dots, becausethat's where the story is.
What someone says today, orwhat you notice today, is
relevant to something that youwill notice or write about in a
week.
It's that's where your storystarts, isn't it?
Trudie Marie (39:30):
it is like a big jigsaw puzzle and I think that's
the beauty of it is that we allhave a story to share.
So many people are afraid ofsharing their story, but we're
all here on earth at this onetime and place, all having this
human being experience, and yetwe're all so scared of how that
(39:51):
experience rolls out.
Jo (39:53):
It's like just enjoy the ride yeah, so it's just our
conditioning, isn't it?
But I think that's what's solovely about what you're doing,
about sharing stories, becausethey normalize things for each
other.
Even the when I spoke about thedisconnection and that you know
, not feeling connected to to mybody, I know that because
someone shared it and I wentthere's me, you know.
(40:15):
So there's the story.
Trudie Marie (40:17):
Sharing stories certainly normalizes things for
ourselves it does, and that'swhy I love the podcast for
sharing stories of so manydifferent people from so many
different aspects, becausesomewhere in everybody's story
you will find a little piece ofyourself.
So I mean and I take forexample today not everybody will
(40:38):
have a child with special needs, but there are many of my
listeners who are parents andwho have had to deal with
something about their childreninside of that and could go oh
well, if I just journaled it out, I would feel much better about
myself.
Jo (40:52):
So it's it's in that sharing and in that realizing that
we're not alone here, that we'reall enjoying this or going down
this path together, that we cantake what we need from each
other and and learn from eachother along the way and I think,
uh, saying not everybody has orhas access to a child with
(41:15):
special needs, I certainly havebeen triggered by somebody in
community who may have specialneeds and in processing what's
triggered me, I often think I'mthe one with a disability, to be
honest, ability to be honest.
Trudie Marie (41:33):
There's many a time that I have thought that
with my niece.
She is my little groundingbeing.
That brings you back to realityand to what's really important
in life really quickly.
I understand yeah, so what areyou doing now?
Like you said that yourbusiness is obviously about
journaling, what is it that youactually offer to any of my
(41:55):
listeners?
Jo (41:57):
I have an introduction to journaling program Trudy, for
$27 to anybody that hasn't beenexposed to journaling before.
And then I have a journaltherapy program where you can
download about five differentjournals and they're on
different topics and one is theemotional healing formula that
(42:20):
grew over the years that I'veput together that really get to
your staff and help you processit.
At the core, one is basicallythey're answering those
questions who am I, what is mypurpose, what gets in my way and
how can I live inspired?
The second journal course thatI mentioned I think that's $125,
(42:42):
it's Australian dollars, andfrom there there are other
longer programs people canimmerse themselves in, like a
membership and 12-month supportand being part of the community.
So they're good places to start, but there's so much online too
.
If people start, my distinctionis journal therapy.
That's probably what I shouldmention, as opposed to, perhaps,
(43:03):
art journaling or other formsof journaling.
Mine are designed to helppeople uncover and heal
repressed issues and emotions.
Trudie Marie (43:16):
Yeah, and I think that's a really beautiful thing
to like take a note of too isthat anybody can pick up a pen
and paper and start journaling.
But then it's often what do youdo with those things that
you're writing down or dealingwith and how do you process that
information?
And what you do as part of yourbusiness and obviously you said
you're a holistic counsellorand you offer this journaling
(43:39):
therapy is that you can thenstart to not just journal but
start to process and analysewhat you're journaling and how
that actually affects or impactsyour life.
Jo (43:51):
I think that's a natural transition, because anybody
picking up the journal and justwriting about this moment is
going to get some relief.
But I think eventually you getto that part of yourself that is
looking for a deeper experienceto be able to really process
and take things to completion.
But certainly just sitting downwith a journal and doing
(44:13):
writing, however it comes out,that is very cathartic as well.
It's a good, good place tostart and it's a good place to
start feeling confident that youcan feel safe in your body,
that you've got tools and innerwisdom that will help you and
hold you in any space.
Trudie Marie (44:31):
I will definitely put your website and links to
your journaling therapy in theshow notes so any listener who
wants to get in contact with youcan do that.
Jo (44:43):
Thank you, trie, and thank you for what you do.
Trudie Marie (44:47):
Thank you, I really do love it.
For me, this is an absolute joyof bringing people together,
bringing listeners incommunication with other
people's stories, because Ithink, like I said before, we
are so scared of sharing ourstory, of feeling like we're all
alone in the world, that nobodyelse knows what you're going
(45:07):
through and it's actually partof my intro in the podcast is
actually saying we may not bewearing the same shoes, but
we're walking on the same path,so we all experience the same
types of things, just in our ownpersonal way.
So I love the connections thatI get to do here.
(45:28):
I love it, well done so thankyou so much for coming onto the
podcast today and having thisvery, very inspiring
conversation.
Jo (45:37):
Thank you, Trudy, and all the best to all the listeners on
their healing journeys.
Trudie Marie (45:43):
Thank you, and I always finish the podcast
episode by asking what is theone thing you are most grateful
for today?
Jo (45:51):
You know what comes to my mind straight away when you ask
that question.
It's my why it's healing livesand changing generations,
because what we do today to healourselves impacts on the future
generations.
Trudie Marie (46:04):
Thank you for tuning in to the Everyday
Warriors podcast.
If you have an idea for afuture episode or a story you'd
like to share yourself, thenplease reach out and message me,
as I am always up for real, rawand authentic conversations
with other everyday warriors.
Also, be sure to subscribe sothat you can download all the
(46:26):
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If you're sharing on socialmedia, please be sure to tag me
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I'm always open to commentabout how these episodes have
resonated with you, the listener.
(46:46):
And remember lead with love asyou live this one wild and
precious life.
Welcome to the Everyday Warriors podcast, the
perfect space to speak my truthand dive into deep conversations
with others.
This podcast is aboutcelebrating everyday warriors,
the people who face life'schallenges head on, breaking
through obstacles to buildresilience, strength and courage
.
Join me, your host, trudy Marie, as I sit down with inspiring
(00:26):
individuals who have foughttheir own battles and emerged
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Let us all embrace the warriorwithin and realise that, while
(00:48):
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Please note that the followingpodcast may contain discussions
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Remember that it is okay toprioritize your well-being and
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In fact, it is the first bravestep to healing.
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Every bit counts.
Every bit counts.
If you're looking for aninspiring story of resilience,
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It is my memoir of hiking the1,000 kilometre Bibbulmun Track,
(03:04):
a journey that was as muchabout finding my way back to
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journey together.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Everyday Warriors podcast,
and today I have a guest with me, and for the first time in a
while it's actually a guest, Iknow.
So I met Jo here in the currenttown I am living in, so welcome
(03:49):
, jo.
Jo (03:51):
Thank you, Trudie.
Hello listeners.
Trudie Marie (03:54):
So we actually met through the local pop-up shop
that we have here in our town ofMingenew and we attended both
the stallholders last year.
Jo (04:07):
And a worthy visit too, wasn't it For six weeks Minganew
opens its stores and there's somuch talent in the farming
region.
Trudie Marie (04:15):
There is, and we're looking forward to hosting
it again this year, but we gotchatting purely because of what
you had at your stall.
We got chatting purely becauseof what you had at your stall if
you'd like to share about whatit is that you had.
Jo (04:31):
Yeah, and I think that's where we clicked too, because
you were going through theprocess of writing your book and
I was selling my books andjournals, and I guess that's
where it all started for me, andI think you were looking at my
book, specifically called yourbody relationship, which talked
about my experiences with stress, anxiety and depression, which
(04:52):
started primarily with my firstson, when he was around six
months old and starteddeveloping cerebral palsy, and
probably by two years old it was.
It was it was clear that he wasstill as dependent as a newborn
baby and there wouldn't be muchchange, and in fact, he's still
(05:16):
that that person today, at 40years old.
So I was thrust into roles thatI wasn't equipped for nurse,
mother, chauffeur, everythingyou know.
My life revolved aroundhospital appointments and
hospital stays and operations,and speech therapy is just a
very, very busy role and withevery one of them I was given
(05:38):
tasks to do at home for my son.
So I was no longer just hismother, and it wasn't long
before I was feeling the effectsof stress and, with such
limited time, I drew on atechnique that I had been
introduced to when I was 18 at ayouth camp, and that was
journaling.
I didn't know what I was doing,it was just probably an inbuilt
(06:01):
sense of safe, safety andself-preservation, actually, and
I just purged onto the pagesall my thoughts, stress, fears,
and I always felt betterafterwards with hospital visits.
I, a social worker, came by oneday and suggested counseling,
which the hospital offered, andI had two sessions, and the
(06:26):
first one was really quitepowerful.
She said let's draw a timelineand have a look at what's been
going on in your life.
And I said but I've never hadanything else happen.
You know, there's not reallybeen any trauma or anything.
You know, this is it, this iswhat I'm dealing with.
She goes no, no, no, let's justhave a look.
So we did a zero, starting atzero, to the age that I was and
(06:50):
all the events I could think ofalong that timeline, and what it
did for me was make me realisethat what I was feeling at the
time, coping with my son, was afeeling of being disconnected
from my body, as though I waslike living on.
I was there on my shoulder butnot in my body, and for years I
(07:13):
never told anyone about thatbecause I thought I was the only
one that felt that and that Iwas weird and that there was
something wrong with me.
Today, of course, we know thatthat's a trauma response.
You know it's disconnectionfrom your body.
Your body's holding all thatemotion and stress and tension.
It doesn't have an outlet andwe do disconnect.
(07:34):
It's a safety response.
And when I realized that, Irealized that I'd actually had
that feeling right back inchildhood, that I'd actually had
that feeling right back inchildhood and even though I
hadn't had any trauma, it was achildhood of, yes, I had a roof
(07:55):
over my head, I had clothes andI had food and I was attending
school.
But it was my parents parentedwith an austere kind of
parenting style.
There wasn't very much warmth.
There was never any.
Really, there was never any.
Really there was never any hugs.
I can't remember ever beinghugged.
There was never, uh, positiveself-esteem building or anything
.
There's a lot of it like don't,don't cry, put that anger away,
(08:15):
you're stupid or you know.
Just just a lot, of, a lot ofthat style of parenting which
actually did cause me todisconnect from my body because
it was very fearful and I neverhad emotions mirrored to me, so
I never.
I couldn't name them and Iwasn't allowed to express them.
And so I realized that thatdisconnection was right there,
(08:37):
right back in my childhood, andthat it was actually in itself a
form of trauma.
In fact today it's calledchildhood emotional neglect, and
it's not the fault of ourparents, it's just the way
society was at the time, and Iremember my mum's generation.
They were told they were havinga breakdown if they cried and
they were given Valium.
So it's just a sign of thetimes.
(09:00):
But fast forward to the timewhere I was dealing with my son.
I quickly realised that traumaisn't healed just mentally, that
I did have emotions.
I was feeling the stress andthe anxiety in my body and
spiritually.
I've never been religious anddidn't have a faith, so there
(09:21):
was nothing there for me to holdon to either.
But what I did find in thejournaling was that it did tick
those boxes.
It became a safe place for me toexpress emotion.
If I felt anything in my body,any tension, stress, pain, I
wrote to it and this is kind ofa natural thing that occurred
(09:42):
from connecting with my owninner wisdom.
So really the journal was myhealing place on all those
levels.
And spiritually.
I think I was connecting withinner wisdom which felt like the
spiritual part of me, and Igrew strength from that and I
had a lot of wise sort of advicecome through from that place
(10:03):
and so journaling became therapyfor me and today journal
therapy is the name of mybusiness.
And fast forward a few moreyears, I trained as a holistic
counsellor and specialising inartistic therapies, but
everything kept coming back tothe journal therapy and I love
(10:25):
it because it's free.
Anyone can do it anywhere.
It's not dependent onappointments.
So if you're time poor, youknow, even if it's night and
you're really tired, you canalways find a bit of space just
to connect with, with yourselfand I love that.
Trudie Marie (10:43):
I want to break down two things inside of that.
The first one you said goingback to childhood trauma.
And people think that it has tobe a big event, like whether
there was some kind of abuse ora death in the family at a young
age, or something really big.
But so many people it can besomething as simple as being
left out of an event at schoolor missing an event at school or
(11:07):
, you know, having somethingsaid to them at a young age that
that trauma starts really smalland what we perceive as adults
as being insignificant, but forthe child who's experiencing it
at the time they don't know howto cope with that.
They don't know how to copewith that.
They don't know how toexperience that, and then that's
the trauma that they then takewith them into their adult life
(11:29):
and it can happen again inadolescence.
Jo (11:31):
And we experience all these tiny traumas along the way.
Trudie Marie (11:35):
And the second thing that I want to say to that
, too, is that you said aboutjournaling and writing things
out, and I go back to when I wasat school and I kept a diary.
It was like when we wereyounger, it was this whole big
thing of actually keeping adiary and writing down all our
thoughts and our ideas and whatwas going on with us.
(11:55):
But then for many of usprobably most of us we get to
adulthood and we're like, yeah,meh, that was a childhood thing.
Yet you're literally sayingthat no, it's something we
should be doing or could bedoing on a more regular basis to
regulate our nervous systems.
Jo (12:15):
I think you, you know that's a really important key.
When you said something thathappened in childhood, I had a
memory that I only actuallywrote about last week and that's
why I laughed how many of uswere chosen last for school
sports teams.
My hands up, my hands up too,yeah, and it was only last week.
(12:40):
I experienced something and Irealised you know what that had
a huge impact on my confidencein putting myself forward today,
because there's that fear I'mgoing to be chosen last.
But the fear is really aboutfeeling the pain of that which I
didn't know about when I was achild and I didn't do as a child
.
So when I realized that, I wasable to shed some tears that I'd
(13:03):
been holding onto for many,many, many years over the
humiliation and the shame andthe embarrassment of constantly
being chosen last for schoolsports teams, that is a little
trauma that's followed methrough.
It's a perfect example of whatyou're saying, trudy.
And the other thing I thoughtof when you said that was my
other son and daughter were inyear six and seven.
(13:25):
The school put out a letterasking for parent help for some
children who were strugglingwith literacy.
And, of course, once you getinto high school.
They're saying they can getlost in the system.
So if we don't offer thesechildren some one-on-one today,
we don't want that for them.
So I put my hand up and we weregiven a sheet and we had to
(13:48):
encourage the children, theyoung adults by this stage, to
use the joiners and look at theway that they're putting
sentences together.
And after about six weeks Ijust threw my hands up in the
air.
There wasn't the interest andthey weren't getting it.
And I said to the teacher can Ido some journaling with them?
And she said do anything.
And so I asked.
(14:12):
I had one female and one maleand I asked these two for a
memory of their favorite holiday.
So they both told me thosestories and I said then how
about you write that as aconversation on your page?
Just write it as if you'retelling me again which they did
do.
And I saw their you know theirfaces and their, their passion
(14:37):
doing it.
It was something that all thefear of not meeting those
writing and literacy indicatorshad been removed for them.
So they were able to justbasically like write
cathartically I guess.
But what happened was when weread it back, all those joiners
were there, naturally becauseit's the way we speak, but their
(15:01):
brain was so conditioned thatthey couldn't do it or they were
fearing the humiliation becausethey couldn't do it that it
stopped them getting it on paper.
That was such a breakthrough.
So from then on, we, we, justwe.
We did the journaling and Ijust remember those two when I
see them in the shopping centeror in community over the next
five years and the big smiles ontheir faces and how much that
(15:23):
freed them up, and somethingthat you said starting a diary
in school.
It just makes me think it'ssomething in us that it's a
natural thing.
That we want to do is toreflect and, you know, just keep
a record of how we're feelingand what we're doing.
Trudie Marie (15:40):
Yeah, and I think journaling is so personal as
well, and what you said aboutthe kids at school and helping
them with you know a specificaspect of literacy.
But with a journal it doesn'tmatter how you write, it doesn't
matter how you spell it,doesn't matter your sentence
structure.
It is literally putting yourthoughts into words on paper and
(16:02):
you can do that in whatever way, shape, form it takes.
And I think in the currentclimate of mindset, coaching and
people doing all the stuff andlike write down your gratitudes
right, like start a journal,people think that there's this
really specific way of doingthings when it's a matter of
picking up a blank piece ofpaper and writing a whole bunch
(16:24):
of stuff out and you know, goburn it if you want to or go
throw whatever, rip it up andput it in the bin if you want to
.
It's the actual act of writing.
And I think, in the the currentform of technology where
everything is typed onto a phoneor, you know, typed onto a
computer, that we've actuallyforgotten the art form of
actually just writing carefree.
(16:46):
And I think that that's whatjournaling reintroduces to us,
like we did when we were kids,that we just write about
anything and everything.
Jo (16:55):
And I think you made a really important point when you
said burn it.
You know, if you want to, I um,there's a lot of that cathartic
rising where we're just gettingout our anger and we might be
making judgments and projectprojections and it's just
getting it out.
It's not, it's it's safe doingit that way, you know, and it's
still getting it out withouthurting anybody.
But it's not something we'dwant someone to read.
(17:16):
But, um, it reminds me of whenI first started teaching
journaling to some women and theconversation about hiding your
journal come up and that wasactually something that
prevented people from writing.
They didn't want anyone to readit.
But you know, that's really justabout not wanting certain
(17:37):
aspects of yourself to be seen.
But the interesting thing iswhen it, when you process it on
the page and it's out and it'sgone.
It has no power over you and itdoesn't really mean anything.
So if someone does see it, it'slike it won't trigger any pain
because you've dealt with thepain, the pain's out on the
paper and so that's a reallykind of.
(17:59):
That was a real measure for mewhen I got to that space, and
not that I want anyone to to seethat kind of writing, or that I
really left it out, but I wasno longer afraid to journal for
the fear of that, if that makessense.
Trudie Marie (18:12):
A hundred percent.
I totally relate that with mybook because, as you know, my
book Everyday Warrior is myjournals from hiking the
Bibbulmun track.
Now, when I started the Bibtrack and I was writing in my
journal as part of mypsychotherapy because my
psychologist had suggested it sothat we could go back and deal
with anything or reflect withanything on the track when I
(18:34):
went to my appointmentsafterwards, but I found it so
cathartic to actually justwhatever had come up on the day
whether it was somethingemotional, something physical,
something a memory that hadoccurred or something I dealt
with that I could just get itall out on paper.
And then when I decided topresent that as a book for
(18:56):
everybody else to read myjournals, it was like that's
okay.
I mean, obviously I redacted alot of the really sensitive
stuff because I was like thereare certain things you don't
want people to read.
But for most part I was like,like you just said, there is no
power over the words anymore,like it doesn't mean anything.
Jo (19:17):
And I had so much healing, not just from the journey of
hiking the bib trap but writingmy book and making my journals
public was a whole differentlevel of healing because it was
like anything written in theremeans nothing anymore and and
also you know, if it did, if,for example and I've got my
(19:38):
story out too Trudy and if thereis anything that ever comes
back as a result of aspects ofthat story, I find that it's a
perfect trigger for somethingthat still needs healing within
me, and so I just take that tothe page and then work with that
, and so that's given me anopportunity.
Because that's the thing withreactions and projections from
(19:58):
other people All this stuff isinvisible inside us.
So unless it comes from outside, or unless we cry at a sad
movie or get angry at somethingon the news, we don't know
what's inside us.
And so I kind of see I nevertell anybody that, but I kind of
see those, those figures andprojections as healing
opportunities and I use them asthat.
(20:20):
So I take that to the page andthen process that.
So so really, even if anythingdoes come up from from the
sharing, it's just anotheropportunity to heal, totally
agree, yeah.
So now.
Now you said something beforetoo about writing your journal,
and when you said that, Ithought of the Minunu Arts art
(20:41):
exhibition last year.
So I had my journals, but youalso had some art, and it was
the Zentangles, the mandalas,yes, and I'm looking at this
array of art, and there was ajournal there too.
So my point is that it's notjust writing.
(21:01):
You know that, that your artcan be a way that you express
your feelings and emotions andthoughts.
Your art can be a way to tapinto your inner wisdom.
So there's writing and there'sart, and for someone else that
might be making videos, you know, a journal doesn't have to be
just writing no, I totally agree.
Trudie Marie (21:20):
I mean there are art journals, like there are
people that actually keep artdiaries or journals as part of,
if they're an artist, likecapturing sketches or you know,
quick oil paintings or whatever,wherever they are.
But that's exactly how it allstarted for me.
I started doing the zentanglesand the mandalas as part of my
(21:40):
art therapy in my own healingjourney and it's something that
I kept going with.
I even did macrame at one stage, because the therapeutic
knotting of cord, I you know.
But I got something out of it atthe end and I think that's the
beauty whether it's journalingand writing or journaling and
art that when you're getting allthose emotions trapped emotions
(22:04):
often out of your body is thatyou have something then to show
for it, whether it's a beautifulpiece of art or a beautiful
piece of writing, it's thatresult that I think, that gives
you that validation in thatmoment that okay, cool, I've got
something to show for it,whereas often, when you've done
talk therapy which is obviouslythe traditional going to see
(22:27):
your psychiatrist or yourpsychologist is that all you've
done is talk for an hour.
You may have cried or whatever,but there's nothing to show for
it at the end.
So you get stuck in this cycleof just repeated patterns,
whereas when you actually canthen reflect back over and look
at that piece of art or look atthat piece of writing, you've
got something to show for it,which means you can then either
(22:49):
put it to bed or move forwardfrom that.
Jo (22:54):
It's well said, trudy.
Very well said because, as Imentioned before, everything,
emotion particularly isinvisible inside us.
Thoughts are invisible insideus.
So if we can make them manifest, it brings them into reality
and I think it helps with thatfeeling of actually connecting
with your body.
Again, you're seeing somethingtangible as a result of
(23:16):
something you did, and even yourwalking walking when you're
telling me that you're walkingor you mentioned that before the
thing with trauma and anxietyand, as I said, you know that
feeling of disconnected, notbeing in your body, because the
body is no longer a safe place.
You actually walked yourselfback into your body and that's a
really important point too,because with the walking, you
(23:39):
are releasing stress, you'rereleasing anxiety, but at the
same time, your mind isprocessing things and getting
clear and you're able toarticulate when you stopped it,
you know, at the end of the day,and started writing.
I just think it's an importantpoint.
It makes me think well, thatyou know the body is a journal.
Trudie Marie (23:57):
It holds all our stories and it's really good to
find a way, something physicalthat we can do that will
minimize the stress and clearthe mind and allow those stories
to come up, to be heard andhealed yeah, I totally agree and
just going back to like yourstory and the aspect that this
(24:18):
all came about for you in a bigway once your son was diagnosed
with special needs, how has thatthen helped you with that
journey?
Like you said, he's now 40 andin some ways he's no different
to when he was two because ofhis special needs.
How has the whole process ofjournaling helped you as a
(24:40):
mother during that process?
Jo (24:44):
I think the situation created cluster emotions, and by
that I mean it was so complex.
It was very hard to say I'm sador I I'm scared, because I was
feeling everything.
But going to the page was anatural process of unpacking it
(25:04):
bit by bit, and so the fearwould come out and then the
anger might come out and beneathall that sadness, you know, so
it was a great way to unpackthat cluster emotion.
But also it was there's a greatway to understand exactly what
it was that I was fearing, youknow, because again the fear was
(25:24):
clustered fears, you know, fearthat I wouldn't cope, fear that
he wouldn't survive, and, andchallenging that and coming to
terms with that.
So that's obviously not justone journal entry, that that's a
theme over a period of years.
Eventually I got to the stagewhere I realised that he was my
(25:45):
best teacher in life.
What he couldn't do or thingsthat I was triggered by not
being verbal, not being able tofeed himself, his complete
dependency, triggered everythingin me that had taught me that I
had to be, do or become to be aperson of value.
(26:05):
So he was my child, completelydependent for every single thing
in his life and I loved himunconditionally and that was
such a good teacher for me.
I still feel weepy when I thinkabout that, you know, as
transitioning from oh my gosh,I've probably walked the line of
a breakdown several times overthose years from that
(26:27):
conditioning that I have to be,do or become and I have to deal
with this and I have to copewith this without help, do it on
my own.
So it was just a huge.
He's been a huge gift and Ifeel that I am who I am today
because of his disabilities andhis challenges and his special
(26:48):
needs.
Also, you know, there was alwaysa fear he was not going to live
by, he would not survive pastfive, and then then it was 12,
then it was 21 and then it wasjust.
Well, it's left up to him nowand I didn't want him to die
until I got to the point where Ireally really, really totally
loved him for who he was and Ijust felt so fortunate to have
(27:12):
been able to get to that place,you know, as his mum, and just
accept him and love him as hewas.
I actually wrote a lot of thatin my first book.
It's the biography called myBody is my Liberation.
So by working through what Iwas feeling in my body.
I got to that freedom withinmyself, and so a lot of my
(27:34):
stories are in that book.
Trudie Marie (27:36):
Yeah, that's such a beautiful journey to be on
like.
As a mother, we want to acceptour children for exactly who
they are, and I understand whatit takes to be the parent of a
special child not from my ownperspective, but my niece has
special needs and quitedependent special needs and you
(27:59):
do learn through them of and Ilove what you said about.
We're so conditioned to besomething, do something or
become something, because that'sprevalent throughout our whole
lives.
Our parents want us to be acertain way or do a certain
thing or become a certain thing,and when we're at high school,
(28:21):
where you know what's next,what's university, what's work,
what's next, and then when we'rein that job, it's like, okay,
you get married, you buy a house, you have a family, but there's
all this conditioning.
And when you can actually peelall that back and just accept a
person for just who they are, aswhat your son is Like, he has a
(28:44):
purpose in this world, eventhough he can't do a lot, he
can't become a lot.
He's a teacher, he's a teacherand he's a human being having
this experience in this life andallowing everybody else around
him to learn from him as well.
I just think that's such abeautiful aspect that is so
(29:05):
overlooked by so many people.
Jo (29:07):
I think so.
And then you know, the biggestgift, as I said, I think is what
is missing for a lot of us fromchildhood is to to feel that we
are that cherished child.
Certainly, to be able to givethat to him meant that I
recognized I was missing that inmy own foundation and that
really there's only us that canbring that to ourselves as
(29:28):
adults, just learning to cherishourselves, be that person, you
know, just be that person forourselves as well.
Trudie Marie (29:36):
I I love that and I will ask you, inside of you,
doing your own journaling aspart of your therapy in coping
and you said that you had otherchildren as well.
Did you also introduce that tothem to help them cope with
their life of living with asibling with special needs?
Jo (29:58):
They do journal and it has inspired them.
They've had their own journeyas siblings and that's a kind of
that's a very personal journeyagain and I think it manifested
differently for my son and mydaughter but I definitely
instilled and my daughter but Idefinitely instilled journaling
(30:19):
and they keep it up and it's ago-to for them.
I find that it's quite movingto see that, particularly that
my daughter's developed thathabit processing her own
challenges, but that my son haswhen he's in a place where he
needs to look then he goes tothe journal and I really like
(30:45):
that.
Trudie Marie (30:45):
Yeah, it must be like a proud mom moment that
you've learned this therapyyourself and you've been able to
pass it on and just especiallytalking about your son.
I'll then ask about yourhusband to see if he does the
same thing, because I know thatfor many of us in society it
seems to be a natural thing fora woman to do, but not so much
(31:05):
for a male to do.
Jo (31:08):
Unfortunately, you are right .
But having said that, I'm surethere are men out there who do
journaling and and maybe noteven realizing that they're
doing it, and that's probablywhere my husband is at today.
It's just so beautiful to watchwhen he does sit down and do it
and that he starts reflectingon his own life and things that
(31:31):
happened years and years andyears ago come up to be seen,
and that he didn't reallyrealise that they were still
impacting on him today.
So it's a very powerful mediumfor anybody anywhere at any
stage in life.
Trudie Marie (31:45):
Yeah, and I think, if we can get into that
practice earlier, like we said,remembering that we all kept
diaries as kids at school.
Or you know and we are taughtabout it from a very young age,
like I think you know, goingback to the early stages of
writing you would write in yourdaily workbook and, yes, you
(32:05):
draw a picture with it and, yes,you would write about what you
did on the weekend or the daybefore.
Or you know, even kids thathave time off school and go on
like holiday adventures withtheir parents are told to keep a
travel journal so that they'vegot something to bring back and
that's their education whilethey're away.
And all this happens sonaturally when we're younger.
(32:28):
Yet when we get to adulthood,we're so scared of picking up a
pen or a paper because we wantit to be perfect or we're afraid
of being judged by it.
And if we can strip all thatback and remember what it's like
to be a five or six year old atschool, writing in our daily
workbooks and drawing a pictureor, you know, some kind of
(32:50):
doodle to go along with that,then there are so many aspects
of life that would be so muchbetter.
Jo (32:58):
You're so right, and we've grown up in emotionally phobic
societies, and I think that'sprobably why there's some
resistance, because it's goingto connect with our emotions.
But that brings me to the pointwhere what I just thought of
when you were saying that isthat we do have two sides of us.
We have a logic side and wehave a creative side, and the
(33:20):
journaling nurtures the creativeside it's that expression that
we're talking about whereas weare predominantly we've been
brought up in logic society.
So, and I think that's whyjournaling is so healthy,
because it nurtures and bringsboth those sides into balance.
Trudie Marie (33:39):
It does, and even in the logic of actually writing
words on paper, because thereis a natural logic to that, like
you're forming letters andwords and that whole logic, part
of our brain, is coming intoplay, but being creative to just
get whatever those thoughts areout onto paper, like I said,
(34:02):
without any judgment orcriticism, or sentence structure
and spelling mistakes, like whocares at the end of the day,
and I think there is a certainfreedom in that that for many of
us we've forgotten.
Jo (34:17):
I think it's a natural part of expression because you said
it yourself when you werekeeping a diary as a kid, you
were drawing some drawings aswell.
So that's your nonverbal sidecoming into play and it's
integrating with the logic side.
Trudie Marie (34:32):
Yeah, so true, and I think many teachers would
probably agree that there's thiswhole forgotten activity that
we did and that it's yeah, it'ssomething that anybody at any
age can pick up a pen and paperand start to do.
Jo (34:50):
Again, we're seeing that globally in cyberspace today
there's such a big rise increativity, so much on offer now
.
Trudie Marie (35:00):
Yeah, and I think, like you said earlier on, that
it doesn't matter whether it'sthe art of writing down or the
the art of actually creating anart piece.
But you did also mention videoand I often think that you look
at social media like whetherit's Facebook or Instagram or
TikTok especially TikTok isoften people's journals of like,
(35:25):
actually sharing their thoughtsand their expressions and their
creativity and telling theworld how it is.
But inside those spaces we thenare opening ourselves to the
judgment and criticism, becauseeverybody wants to comment or
opinion on it, but people needto feel safe in being able to
(35:46):
express themselves freely.
So I often think that when youcan do it in private, like the
art of writing a journal is somuch more cathartic because it
is for your eyes only and it'sjust you being able to process
your own thoughts, emotions,what's going on.
Jo (36:06):
For you it's authentic and you're in integrity with
yourself, whereas sometimes,when it, when we're putting out
on social media, we have thisidea that we've got to live up
to something or, you know, itmay not be as authentic, but it
also made me think of learningstyles, that somebody whose
logic is going to write,somebody who's more creative,
(36:27):
might draw somebody who's morelike the video drama, that kind
of thing, you know, is thatthat's I forget the name of that
intelligence, but they're thepeople that'll be really good at
videoing their life.
You know, we've all got astrength, that is that comes
naturally to us, and so if wecan find that, that's going to
(36:48):
be our best form of expression.
Trudie Marie (36:51):
I tend to agree.
I think it's working with yourstrengths in whatever shape or
form that takes.
But and I think that goes backto, like I said, it doesn't have
to be this perfect journal thatyou buy from the shop and that
you write in every day and ittakes on a certain format.
It's like pick up a scrap ofpaper, go to your printer and,
(37:12):
you know, grab a blank sheet oryou know, scribble something on
the back of a receipt.
If you have to like whatever itis like, the point is to just
do it regardless of that whenI'm out.
Jo (37:25):
When I'm out, judy, and inspiration hits.
I've been known to write on theback of a receipt.
Trudie Marie (37:30):
You just grab whatever comes to hand voice
memo has become my friend on myphone because if I'm, especially
if I'm driving and you can't Ialways before I do a long
distance drive because, like,obviously from Minganew to Perth
it's four hours but I alwaysopen up the voice recording or
the voice memo section on myphone because if I'm driving for
(37:51):
four hours and things cross mymind, I can't stop and write it
down.
So I just like flick from mygoogle maps to the voice
recording, hit record and writeand speak exactly what I'm
thinking, and then I can alwaysgo back and journal on that.
I can go back and create onthat.
But I've got it there as areminder because so often we
forget, like you, something willcross your mind and as quick as
(38:13):
it's crossed your mind, it'sgone again and there's another
thought there and sometimessomebody will say something that
go and you go ouch, that hurt,you know, not outwardly, but
inwardly.
Jo (38:24):
I always write those down as well because I would forget by
the time I got home.
But there's something there forme to work with, because I
heard, heard, so there's that,and I've even heard
conversations in passing thathave had a message for me.
It's just when you startlooking it's really inspiring
about how much is out there thatcan help you on your healing.
(38:45):
Just take yourself for a walkand see what it is that you take
notice of.
There's so much to write about.
Trudie Marie (38:52):
Totally true.
I mean, mean, even when I washiking the bib track, like there
would be days where you knowit'd be stuff that was about the
track because the trap testedme in ways that I didn't realize
it would.
But then other days it was liketotal thought patterns and
things that had come up for meso you never knew what you were
going to write down.
At the end of the day it was.
Jo (39:13):
It's all part of the process it's a surprise, and I love
networking those dots, becausethat's where the story is.
What someone says today, orwhat you notice today, is
relevant to something that youwill notice or write about in a
week.
It's that's where your storystarts, isn't it?
Trudie Marie (39:30):
it is like a big jigsaw puzzle and I think that's
the beauty of it is that we allhave a story to share.
So many people are afraid ofsharing their story, but we're
all here on earth at this onetime and place, all having this
human being experience, and yetwe're all so scared of how that
(39:51):
experience rolls out.
Jo (39:53):
It's like just enjoy the ride yeah, so it's just our
conditioning, isn't it?
But I think that's what's solovely about what you're doing,
about sharing stories, becausethey normalize things for each
other.
Even the when I spoke about thedisconnection and that you know
, not feeling connected to to mybody, I know that because
someone shared it and I wentthere's me, you know.
(40:15):
So there's the story.
Trudie Marie (40:17):
Sharing stories certainly normalizes things for
ourselves it does, and that'swhy I love the podcast for
sharing stories of so manydifferent people from so many
different aspects, becausesomewhere in everybody's story
you will find a little piece ofyourself.
So I mean and I take forexample today not everybody will
(40:38):
have a child with special needs, but there are many of my
listeners who are parents andwho have had to deal with
something about their childreninside of that and could go oh
well, if I just journaled it out, I would feel much better about
myself.
Jo (40:52):
So it's it's in that sharing and in that realizing that
we're not alone here, that we'reall enjoying this or going down
this path together, that we cantake what we need from each
other and and learn from eachother along the way and I think,
uh, saying not everybody has orhas access to a child with
(41:15):
special needs, I certainly havebeen triggered by somebody in
community who may have specialneeds and in processing what's
triggered me, I often think I'mthe one with a disability, to be
honest, ability to be honest.
Trudie Marie (41:33):
There's many a time that I have thought that
with my niece.
She is my little groundingbeing.
That brings you back to realityand to what's really important
in life really quickly.
I understand yeah, so what areyou doing now?
Like you said that yourbusiness is obviously about
journaling, what is it that youactually offer to any of my
(41:55):
listeners?
Jo (41:57):
I have an introduction to journaling program Trudy, for
$27 to anybody that hasn't beenexposed to journaling before.
And then I have a journaltherapy program where you can
download about five differentjournals and they're on
different topics and one is theemotional healing formula that
(42:20):
grew over the years that I'veput together that really get to
your staff and help you processit.
At the core, one is basicallythey're answering those
questions who am I, what is mypurpose, what gets in my way and
how can I live inspired?
The second journal course thatI mentioned I think that's $125,
(42:42):
it's Australian dollars, andfrom there there are other
longer programs people canimmerse themselves in, like a
membership and 12-month supportand being part of the community.
So they're good places to start, but there's so much online too
.
If people start, my distinctionis journal therapy.
That's probably what I shouldmention, as opposed to, perhaps,
(43:03):
art journaling or other formsof journaling.
Mine are designed to helppeople uncover and heal
repressed issues and emotions.
Trudie Marie (43:16):
Yeah, and I think that's a really beautiful thing
to like take a note of too isthat anybody can pick up a pen
and paper and start journaling.
But then it's often what do youdo with those things that
you're writing down or dealingwith and how do you process that
information?
And what you do as part of yourbusiness and obviously you said
you're a holistic counsellorand you offer this journaling
(43:39):
therapy is that you can thenstart to not just journal but
start to process and analysewhat you're journaling and how
that actually affects or impactsyour life.
Jo (43:51):
I think that's a natural transition, because anybody
picking up the journal and justwriting about this moment is
going to get some relief.
But I think eventually you getto that part of yourself that is
looking for a deeper experienceto be able to really process
and take things to completion.
But certainly just sitting downwith a journal and doing
(44:13):
writing, however it comes out,that is very cathartic as well.
It's a good, good place tostart and it's a good place to
start feeling confident that youcan feel safe in your body,
that you've got tools and innerwisdom that will help you and
hold you in any space.
Trudie Marie (44:31):
I will definitely put your website and links to
your journaling therapy in theshow notes so any listener who
wants to get in contact with youcan do that.
Jo (44:43):
Thank you, trie, and thank you for what you do.
Trudie Marie (44:47):
Thank you, I really do love it.
For me, this is an absolute joyof bringing people together,
bringing listeners incommunication with other
people's stories, because Ithink, like I said before, we
are so scared of sharing ourstory, of feeling like we're all
alone in the world, that nobodyelse knows what you're going
(45:07):
through and it's actually partof my intro in the podcast is
actually saying we may not bewearing the same shoes, but
we're walking on the same path,so we all experience the same
types of things, just in our ownpersonal way.
So I love the connections thatI get to do here.
(45:28):
I love it, well done so thankyou so much for coming onto the
podcast today and having thisvery, very inspiring
conversation.
Jo (45:37):
Thank you, Trudy, and all the best to all the listeners on
their healing journeys.
Trudie Marie (45:43):
Thank you, and I always finish the podcast
episode by asking what is theone thing you are most grateful
for today?
Jo (45:51):
You know what comes to my mind straight away when you ask
that question.
It's my why it's healing livesand changing generations,
because what we do today to healourselves impacts on the future
generations.
Trudie Marie (46:04):
Thank you for tuning in to the Everyday
Warriors podcast.
If you have an idea for afuture episode or a story you'd
like to share yourself, thenplease reach out and message me,
as I am always up for real, rawand authentic conversations
with other everyday warriors.
Also, be sure to subscribe sothat you can download all the
(46:26):
latest episodes as they arepublished and spread the word to
your family and friends andcolleagues so they can listen in
too.
If you're sharing on socialmedia, please be sure to tag me
so that I can personallyacknowledge you.
I'm always open to commentabout how these episodes have
resonated with you, the listener.
(46:46):
And remember lead with love asyou live this one wild and
precious life.
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