September 26, 2023 • 26 mins
SPECIAL NEWS UPDATE
The strange vessel causing a ruckus off the Moonhaven coast has everyone on high alert. Enjoy a nature walk with none other than Park Ranger Jeb Marshall at the Threadington Nature Preservation Park. And go on a virtual tour of L Corp's new "Home of Tomorrow" with tech correspondent Bernie Bunson.
Thanks to Nathan Heard (L Corp Lawyer) and Andrew McClelland (Intern Todd) for lending us their beautiful voices.
About The Show
Everything Matters is a Comedy Horror Podcast published every Tuesday. Join Micheal Taur and Dale Dallas as they broadcast the planet's most popular programme to the Tri Town area.
Be sure to follow or subscribe to the show on your preferred podcast provider. It's easier for you to stay up to date and helps us greatly! If you're enjoying the show, please leave us a review. Reviews and sharing with your friends is the best way to show your support.
Disclaimer: Everything Matters IS ENTIRELY satirical, and the people and places in Everything Matters are fiction. Do not try ANYTHING from the broadcast in real life. None of this is real.
Website: everythingmatterspod.com
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Everything Matters is a part of the Homebrew Podcast Network
Written and Hosted by Grant Mielke and Cody Smith
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dale Dallas (00:00):
So the trick is to dig a vertical hole.
Vertical Right and obviousrectangle shapes are just gonna
be more suspicious.
Micheal Taur (00:08):
Wow, Dale, you really thought of everything.
Dale Dallas (00:10):
Also, you should bury a carcass of a dog or a cat
or some kind of pet a couple offeet above it.
That way, if a dog sniffs itand they excavate it, they'll
find uh, oh, uh, red light Dale.
Oh, alright, mike.
Uh, we'll get to this later onwith the show.
Micheal Taur (00:31):
Good morning Tritown.
I'm Michael Tor and I'm DaleDallas, and this is Everything
Matters.
Good morning Tritown.
Happy to be back once againwith some whispers from the old
world and stories from the newHope.
(00:52):
You're all sleeping peacefully,dale, how you doing today.
Dale Dallas (00:56):
Not too great, mike .
Honestly, I haven't looked at amirror for an unconfirmed
amount of time and I'm reallystarting to feel a little
dissociated.
Micheal Taur (01:03):
Well, I will tell you, Dale, I think you look
great.
Wow, mike, that means a lot tome.
Anytime, dale, hello andwelcome to the new video
Residence.
This is a news alert fromTritown updating you on the
mysterious vessel off theMoonhaven coast.
It seems the light and movementhas ceased, although now the
(01:26):
vessel is sounding some type ofstrange foghorn.
Residents report the loud,disruptive noise has been
sounding for nearly three daysstraight, leading to quite a few
residential complaints.
The Tritown City Council hasannounced that they will begin
to play music over the PA systemto assist with this nuisance On
the scene now.
(01:47):
Intern Todd.
Intern Todd (01:49):
Hey, Mike.
Wow, thanks for letting me goout on scene.
That this is huge.
Micheal Taur (01:56):
No problem, tim, it sounds a little crazy out
there.
Intern Todd (01:59):
Oh yeah, people are going crazy.
Mike, it's really loud.
Micheal Taur (02:04):
And that music is not helping at all.
Intern Todd (02:07):
Not even a little bit, Mike.
Micheal Taur (02:09):
So has there been any developments in attempts to
breach the vessel?
Intern Todd (02:14):
Well, there have been a few attempts, but it's
super strange.
It seems to go further away thecloser you get to it, but
there's no movement on the shipat all.
It doesn't even seem to bedisturbing the water around it.
And look at this, mike.
Micheal Taur (02:30):
Okay, listeners.
Todd is now showing me thevessel.
It looks to be some type ofsmall cargo or perhaps a fishing
vessel.
The screen's a bit grainy, Todd.
What am I looking at?
Intern Todd (02:43):
Well, watch the seagull Mike.
Micheal Taur (02:45):
Okay, all right.
I see a bird flying towards thevessel.
It's a little hard to describehow this looks, because the bird
and the vessel appear to bemoving away.
Even though the bird is clearlygetting closer to the vessel,
it appears it's about to flyright over the ship.
And oh, oh, wow, todd, it justfell right out of the sky.
(03:07):
Yeah, creepy, isn't it?
Well, tom, it's Todd.
That's what I said.
I literally cannot stand thissound for one more moment, but
thank you for all of your hardwork getting the story on the
ground level.
There you have it, folks.
More news from Tritown.
Stay tuned while we bring youall the latest from the
(03:29):
Moonhaven Maritime Authority.
It's time for the TritownBulletin Board brought to you by
Cox Energy.
Dale Dallas (03:44):
In an Earth Shattering experiment.
Scientists claim they havegiven gravity a 1% boost.
Now Tritown is grappling withthis event and the gravity of
the situation is just sinking it.
Stay tuned as we weigh theimplications.
Micheal Taur (03:58):
I knew there was something wrong about my scale
this morning, dale.
The Tritown Neighborhood Watchasks all residents to take
special care to knock down anyspider webs built across
walkways, sidewalks or trails.
Do your part in thepsychological war Tritown wages
against arachnids.
Knocking down these misplacedwebs sends a clear message Not
(04:22):
here spiders, we really don'tneed them trying to catch people
.
We'd make such good allies ifthey would just stick to the
pests.
Dale Dallas (04:30):
Local chef launches gourmet birdseed line.
Pop culture legend andguerrilla gastronomist Amavis
Davis leaves a new recipe atlocal dining spot Bistro Deluxe.
Patrons aren't quite sure whatto make of this new dish.
Mike, the writer of theestablishment, sidney Doddison,
has had the recipe authenticatedby local Amavis Davis expert
and collector Scott Cooper.
Scott claims this is indeed anew, authentic Amavis Davis
(04:54):
original.
Micheal Taur (04:55):
What do you think Amavis Davis' true identity is
Dale?
Dale Dallas (04:58):
Well, to be honest, Mike, I like the theories that
Scott Cooper himself.
Micheal Taur (05:03):
That would be quite the twist.
I've always thought AmavisDavis doesn't exist at all and
it's just a brilliant Marie'sstew marketing stunt.
She's just always so shrewdwith those campaigns.
She is quite shrewd.
A new spinal center has openedin Pine Bridge.
Are you, or a loved one,struggling with back pain?
Has daily life become filledwith aches and discomfort?
(05:26):
Well, tritown, there's a warmlight at the end of your pain
tunnel, introducing the PineBridge Spinal Center, your
source for new or gently usedspines.
Dale Dallas (05:37):
From personal experience I can say the
refurbished models are just asgood as the new Chilling Crisis
Under the Sea.
Researchers in nearby Deep SeaLab claim to have been stuck
awake throughout the blackout.
After being cut off fromTritown for so long and
consuming all their rations,they were left stranded with
nothing left to eat butfreeze-dried sardine ice cream.
(05:58):
Due to a series of unfortunatetypos and misunderstandings, the
first resupply to the Deep SeaLab was several boxes of
freeze-dried sardine ice cream.
Micheal Taur (06:08):
Based on my personal experience with Todd I
bet there was an intern readingthe correspondence.
Interns aren't so bad likeTodd's pretty terrible.
The post-blackout return tonormalcy continues.
Open Mic Night is back.
That's right.
Open Mic Night has returned.
Join us this Wednesday midnightat the Threadington Community
(06:28):
Center.
The Threadington Autopsy Clubrequests everyone brings a
beverage or small dish to share.
Dale Dallas (06:35):
Hey, are you heading down there this time?
Micheal Taur (06:36):
Mike, I never do.
Dale, this has been the TritownBulletin Port brought to you by
Cox Energy.
It only takes one screw beingin of a lightbulb for Cox to
become your preference too.
To kick off today's EverythingMatters, I take a walk in the
(07:04):
park with Jeb Marshall and learnabout some of Tritown's strange
wildlife.
Apparently it's that time ofyear again.
The greenery in theThreadington Nature Preservation
Park is turning strange hues ofred, orange and yellow.
(07:25):
There's a crisp chill in theair and a promise of a cold,
dark winter ahead.
There's many names for thesetimes Quarter three, end of the
fiscal year, back to school.
But here in the ThreadingtonNature Park they know it by
another name Harvest.
(07:47):
I make the trip down toThreadington Nature Preservation
Park to meet Park Ranger JebMarshall.
I had a simple quest to learnmore about this strange
old-world substance known asmilk.
Apparently, during harvestthere's a strange orange
organism that is milked anddrained of a precious resource
(08:07):
available all throughout Tritown.
You probably know of it aspumpkin spice, but you would be
as surprised as I was to learnit's not made in a factory,
mixed in a lab or squeezed froma flavor packet.
Pumpkin spice is a naturallyoccurring substance harvested
from this strange orange,bulbous organism known as a
(08:30):
pumpkin.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (08:31):
Well, howdy there, Mike Nice of you to
come on out of your tower.
Micheal Taur (08:35):
Good to see you, Jeb, Excited to learn about some
pumpkin milking.
It's clear from watching parkranger Jeb Marshall and
listening to him speak with acalm reverence for nature that
he takes pumpkin milking veryseriously.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (08:52):
So first things first.
Pumpkins are most active atdusk, so the best time to go on
a pumpkin hunt is right around 4or 5 am.
Now during the day like this isfine, where some luck will find
a couple, but it can be alittle more difficult.
What exactly are we looking for, Jeb?
You see, pumpkins are big,bulbous and known for their
(09:15):
orange color.
Any other time of year they'dstand out like a fish on a
bicycle, but this time of year,the colors of the park change
and provide them with somefairly effective camouflage.
Micheal Taur (09:26):
Wow, how many pumpkins have you seen?
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (09:28):
Jeb oh hundreds easy, maybe even
thousands.
Wow, most of you town peopledon't come out of the park much
anyway, but the Spicers andfolks like me see them quite
regularly this time of year.
Micheal Taur (09:42):
Now you're gonna need these earplugs.
Oh, what are these for, Jeb?
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (09:47):
The screaming could get a might be
unsettling for the uninitiated.
Micheal Taur (09:53):
Once we had some warm clothes and some more
somber warnings from Jeb on parksafety, we set out to the
Threadington Nature PreservationPark.
There was quite a pleasantgentle wind and the colors were
quite beautiful.
After a brief walk, jeb stoppedus.
Alright, now you see, rightthere.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (10:14):
Yeah.
Micheal Taur (10:15):
Jeb I see it.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (10:16):
This here's a pumpkin vine.
It's still a little warm.
Leaves are green, probably seenuse in the last few days or so.
We're close.
Micheal Taur (10:27):
Jeb motions for me to stop and I watch as quietly
as possible as Jeb inspects thetracks.
You could tell he was reallytuning in to every smell and
sound of the park.
He was completely silent as hemoved expertly from tree to tree
.
I realized if I hadn't alreadyseen him, I'd have no idea he
(10:48):
was nearby.
After a few minutes ofinspection, Jeb motions for me
to come up beside him.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (10:56):
Alright , now you see, there Underneath
that pine my goodness, I think Ido.
Yeah, right next to the brush,yeah, alright.
Now the trick is to sneak upbehind him.
You got to straddle him andhold on to that brown bit on the
top layer that's called thestem.
Go ahead, get your earplugsready.
Micheal Taur (11:16):
I watch while park ranger Jeb Marshall quietly
sneaks up to the pine he pointedout and all at once, with
surprising speed, jeb lefttoward the tree.
There was a flurry of movementand Jeb disappeared into the
brush.
Through the earplugs I heardthe most incredibly unsettling
screams, albeit and luckily verymuted.
(11:38):
I ran ahead to try and get abetter view and watch while Jeb
demonstrated his technique Legsstraddling the pumpkin, both
hands secured around the brownhorn at the top.
He called the stem.
The scene looked like acigarette ad from an old
magazine where a cowboy wasriding a large horned creature
(11:59):
trying to buck him off.
After about ten minutes of thiswild show, it started to slow
and Jeb finally called out to me.
I ran up to the pumpkin, nowdocile and seemingly exhausted,
beneath park ranger Jeb Marshall.
You could tell he had apracticed hand as he carefully
maneuvered around the bulbouscurves of its orange flesh.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (12:20):
Alright , now.
This next part is locating theteat on this fine specimen,
which can be a little difficultas the location varies from
creature to creature.
Alright, come here now, youlittle fella.
Alright, oopsie daisy.
Oh, here we go.
Now come on over here, mike.
Micheal Taur (12:38):
Uh, okay, I'm a little nervous, jeb.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (12:41):
Ah, don't be this pumpkin's right
tuckered out in docile.
Now grab this part, right?
No, not like that, between yourfingers, massaging a bit.
Right Now, you're gonna squeezeand pull, just like that, right
, exactly.
Keep it up, gentle.
Now, gentle, don't need to getso rough.
(13:01):
There it is, there it is.
Micheal Taur (13:06):
Oh, my goodness, I did it.
What a smell, jeb, that's justdivine.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (13:13):
The townspeople go crazy for this
stuff, mike.
Micheal Taur (13:17):
I can see why, and this doesn't hurt the pumpkin
at all.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (13:20):
Oh no, no, no, no.
Milk and a pumpkin is just asgood for it as it is for us.
Micheal Taur (13:27):
Doesn't hurt at all.
Jeb, can I have a taste?
Park Ranger Jeb Mars (13:32):
Absolutely .
Just put your mouth right onthere, it'll be fine.
Micheal Taur (13:39):
This is delicious, Jeb.
I see now what all the craze isfor milk yeah yeah, yeah.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (13:46):
Well, this is one type of milk,
probably not the type you'rethinking of, but, believe it or
not, all kinds of creatures canproduce milk.
Wow.
Micheal Taur (13:55):
Jeb, you are a fount of knowledge.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (14:04):
Well, I do have some better, sweet and
somber news.
What's that, jeb?
Well, I was just doublechecking and I did some
measurements while you, you know, took care of business there,
and this here beautiful creatureis as big as we can allow
pumpkins to get for the good ofthe park and its neighbors.
(14:26):
We're gonna have to put thisone down.
Micheal Taur (14:28):
Oh, ah, nature.
How big did they get, jeb?
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (14:34):
Well, I don't really know what the
limit is to shoot straight, butthey really do start to become a
danger to themselves and othersaround this size here.
But the good news is the fleshcan also be harvested and it
makes a hell of a pie.
We like to honor the pumpkinand use every part.
Micheal Taur (14:51):
That's beautiful Park, Ranger Jeb.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (14:54):
Now you go on and get.
If you can find your way back,I'll make sure Slash gets back
to you.
Micheal Taur (15:00):
And that, find Denizens of Tritown, is a story
of how I learned both wherepumpkin spice comes from and
what this mysterious milking isall about.
Next time you're enjoying yourpumpkin spice, remember the
pumpkin and maybe even make sometime to visit the Threadington
Nature Preservation Park and seeone for yourselves.
(15:22):
Park Ranger Jeb Marshall is atrained expert, and all acts for
this segment were done underhis watchful supervision.
Please do not try this at home.
Dale Dallas (15:38):
Well, listeners, I can assure you that pie was
excellent.
Now a word from our sponsorsover at Elkhorp.
Bernie Bunson (15:54):
Welcome, dear friends, to the home of tomorrow
presented by El Corp.
Step inside a world ofenchantment where the ordinary
becomes extraordinary and yourevery wish is our command,
introducing our delightfulhousehold helpers, eager to
assist in ways you neverimagined.
Moving silently through yourhome, their inscrutable AI knows
(16:16):
exactly what needs to be done,even when you don't, adding just
a touch of magic to your dailylife.
The living room of tomorrow Afusion of cutting-edge
technology with moon-age designand unmatched comfort.
Smart, energy-efficient windowsproduce natural light to flood
in during the day, whileintelligent lighting systems
(16:36):
create unnatural light.
The perfect ambiance for anyoccasion, blurring the lines
between what's inside and out,featuring immersive wall-sized
displays serving as both theentertainment center and a
virtual window to the world,offering breathtaking views and
interactive experiences.
Smart, adaptable furnitureseamlessly transforms to suit
any occupants' needs, from acozy family movie night to a
(16:59):
productive, remote workenvironment.
And, as mentioned, artificialintelligence orchestrates the
lighting and also climatecontrol and entertainment,
optimizing comfort and energyusage.
L Corp Lawyer (17:11):
The intelligent climate control system may, on
occasion, manifestirregularities, thereby giving
rise to temporary temperaturefluctuations.
It is advisable for users toexercise due diligence in
monitoring and addressing suchappearances, as they acknowledge
risks inherent to the system'sfunctionality.
Bernie Bunson (17:22):
But please don't let this minor hiccup concern
you.
It's more like Mother Naturehaving a momentary lapse in
judgment.
Our AI systems work tirelesslyto rectify these issues,
ensuring that your comfortremains top priority.
Over here we find the kitchen.
Why, yes, the kitchen oftomorrow is a marvel of
innovation and convenience.
(17:42):
The appliances sometimes emitstrange, discordant sounds as
they communicate in a languageof their own to make cooking a
breeze.
Intelligent refrigerators withinventory management systems
help reduce food waste, whileAI-powered cooking assistants
provide personalized recipesuggestions and step-by-step
guidance.
Sustainable practices will takecenter stage, with integrated
(18:04):
composting systems and energyefficient appliances, all
promoting eco-friendliness.
Countertops double as a cookingsurface and 3D printers create
culinary masterpieces withprecision.
As always, the kitchen fostersa sense of community, with
virtual cooking classes andsocial cooking experiences,
bringing people together acrossthe globe.
L Corp Lawyer (18:25):
The automated locking mechanism implemented on
the pantry and refrigeratordoors may on occasion experience
minor operational disruptionsresulting in a brief delay in
user access.
The manufacturer and ordistributor display many
liability for the temporaryaccess to leaves arising from
these intermittent occurrencesAre we going to let a mild
inconvenience and some roboticchatter spoil the fun of cooking
in this futuristic space?
Bernie Bunson (18:43):
I don't think so.
Now we take a trip to the farside of the home, to the indoor
garden.
Behold a green paradise,enhancing air quality and
providing fresh produceyear-round.
Automated hydroponic andvertical gardening systems make
growing herbs, vegetables andeven fruit an effortless
endeavor.
(19:03):
Smart sensors monitor planthealth and adjust light,
nutrients and humidityaccordingly, ensuring a thriving
indoor ecosystem that bringsnature into our daily lives.
Together, these spaces redefinecomfort, efficiency and
sustainability in the modernhome.
L Corp Lawyer (19:20):
The sensors deployed within the garden may
intermittently undergo minoroperational perturbations,
giving rise to subtle variancesin the garden's environmental
conditions.
Bernie Bunson (19:26):
Come on now.
Let's not make a mountain outof a mole hill.
These are little quirks, hardlya big deal, some might say.
They add a touch ofunpredictability to an otherwise
perfectly controlledenvironment, while the home of
tomorrow is a marvel of modernliving.
L Corp Lawyer (19:39):
It is incumbent upon us to address a matter of
significant import.
A matter, though exceedinglyinfrequent, requires our utmost
attention and caution.
In the rarest of instances, acritical system malfunction can
occur, resulting in a temporaryloss of control over the home's
automated features.
During such an event, occupantsmay experience disruptions in
lighting, climate control,security and even potential
delays in accessing essentialareas like the laboratory,
kitchen or even the egress tothe external environment.
It is imperative to underscorethat the aforementioned anomaly
(20:01):
represents exceedingly rare at atypical event and has been
subjected to rigorous scrutinywithin our safety procedures.
Our specialized team oftechnicians is suitably prepared
to completely address any suchcontingency, thereby
guaranteeing the welfare andsecurity of all inhabitants.
It should be acknowledged thatthe home of tomorrow has been
architected with multi-tieredredundancy framework and
failsafe mechanisms,particularly as the environment
should be mitigated like theorder of these exceptional
circumstances.
Nevertheless, we find it rudeto appraise the potential buyers
(20:23):
of the infrequent, albeitpotentially consequential,
matter and reassure them of ourunwavering commitment to ensure
their safety and contentmentthrough all available means.
Bernie Bunson (20:31):
In conclusion, the Home of Tomorrow offers a
vision of living that seamlesslymerges cutting-edge technology
with sustainability and comfort.
While we've highlighted someminor issues with its automated
systems, these are trulyinsignificant in comparison with
the transformative benefits itbrings to your daily life.
With the Home of Tomorrow,you're not just purchasing a
house.
You're investing in a futurewhere your well-being,
(20:53):
convenience and connection tothe community takes center stage
.
The Home of Tomorrow is notjust a purchase.
It's an opportunity to embracea more sustainable and connected
way of living, where technologyenhances, not hinders, your
daily routines.
So step into the future todayand experience the safe,
harmonious and worthwhilelifestyle the Home of Tomorrow
(21:15):
has to offer.
Micheal Taur (21:26):
Well, that was everything matters.
Remember, try town.
The post-Blackout Grace periodis coming to an end and the
census will begin next week.
Please ensure you've locatedall pets, persons and loved ones
in preparation for the census.
Be prepared to report anyanomalies.
A good neighbor is a watchfulneighbor and a new neighbor is a
(21:47):
suspicious neighbor.
I wish you all the best of luckin the days ahead.
Intern Todd is panicking again.
Dale.
Dale Dallas (21:55):
You know, I still think that's just his face, Mike
.
Micheal Taur (21:59):
Uh, unlikely, he appears to be pointing to some
more papers.
He slipped below the door.
Oh, looks like we have somemore notes from the beautiful
Tritownese.
Dale Dallas (22:11):
Uh, first up we have this one from the Dragon
Hermit.
Congrats to Cobb for winningthe lottery.
Again, thank you to Dr Leedsfor the safety talks.
I may or may not have misplacedmy protocol books, so, as
always, great tips.
I always look forward to Mikeand Dale to know if it's safe to
go outside and to know what'sgoing on around Tritown.
Micheal Taur (22:32):
Thank you, Dragon Hermit.
This one's from SketchySquirrel Marie does it again.
These tips are fantastic, butmy friends and I under the
bluffs are waiting to see ifthat deer will ever share her
mother's recipe for thosedelightful yellow cake bomb pops
.
Dale Dallas (22:50):
I think you'll have to pry that with a brick, cold
dead hand.
Mr Sketch, mr Squirrel, thisone's from AdRail over at Cox
Energy.
Thank you, mike and Dale, forbeing there for everyone after
the blackout.
We love listening to your showwhile changing the spend fuel
rods from the reactor.
It's always funny when the newguy starts laughing and
accidentally drops the spherefrom the core and we get to
(23:11):
spend a few weeks mopping up thepuddles.
Micheal Taur (23:13):
Well that woke legal up.
I'm getting some strangegestures, Dale, will you get
legal back to sleep?
This is from Klaus Hans.
Hey, Mike and Dale writing into say thanks for the reminder
to recycle my used blood bags.
I had a pile of them buildingup at the front door and almost
threw them down the chute.
What a grave mistake that wouldhave been.
(23:34):
May algorithm.
God bless this Tritown Lookingforward to the next broadcast,
as am I.
Dale Dallas (23:42):
You gotta recycle those blood bags.
The recycling's good for thecommunity.
Micheal Taur (23:46):
Very good for the community.
Indeed, this has been.
Everything Matters, remembereverything's real, it all
matters, and Mike, we got acaller.
Oh, okay, I guess we have alittle time left here.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (24:08):
Hello this is Harvey Nelson
broadcasting on our channel, Ifyou can hear me?
Micheal Taur (24:14):
Hello, caller, welcome to Everything Matters
what news from Tritown?
Hello, come in.
I can hear you, caller.
Oh my God, I haven't heardanother voice in.
Oh, sorry about that.
Folks Seems like Todd.
Please don't hang up.
I have just a question.
Okay, caller, before yourquestion, if you could please
(24:36):
identify yourself and yourpolice of residence?
I'm Harvey Nelson.
L Corp Lawyer (24:40):
I'm looking for my wife, sarah Nelson, and I
live in Indianapolis, todd.
Micheal Taur (24:51):
Sorry about that, folks.
As I was saying, it's all real,everything Matters and it never
ends.
We'll see you next week.
Intern Todd (25:06):
Thanks for listening to Everything Matters.
This is intern Todd.
Everything Matters is a part ofthe Homebrew Network.
If you're listening from the21st century, you could really
help us grow by leaving us areview on Spotify and Apple
podcasts.
The algorithm God hungersgreatly and saving him can be a
full-time job, so leave us areview on Spotify and Apple.
(25:31):
If you leave a review as aresident of Tritown, without
breaking the fourth wall, daleand Mike might read your review
on the show.
Just make sure you don't, youknow, give anything away that
you're from the 21st century orthat could really, you know,
break Mike and Dale's minds.
Yeah, links are atEverythingMattersPodcom.
(25:53):
If you're listening from the22nd and 24th century, you can
review us on Musknet in exchangefor one kudo.
25th to 29th century please getoff the internet immediately.
Using the internet poses apublic safety hazard.
All other centuries.
Call 1-800-MATTERS if it issafe to do so.
(26:14):
Again, that'sEverythingMattersPodcom.
So the trick is to dig a vertical hole.
Vertical Right and obviousrectangle shapes are just gonna
be more suspicious.
Micheal Taur (00:08):
Wow, Dale, you really thought of everything.
Dale Dallas (00:10):
Also, you should bury a carcass of a dog or a cat
or some kind of pet a couple offeet above it.
That way, if a dog sniffs itand they excavate it, they'll
find uh, oh, uh, red light Dale.
Oh, alright, mike.
Uh, we'll get to this later onwith the show.
Micheal Taur (00:31):
Good morning Tritown.
I'm Michael Tor and I'm DaleDallas, and this is Everything
Matters.
Good morning Tritown.
Happy to be back once againwith some whispers from the old
world and stories from the newHope.
(00:52):
You're all sleeping peacefully,dale, how you doing today.
Dale Dallas (00:56):
Not too great, mike .
Honestly, I haven't looked at amirror for an unconfirmed
amount of time and I'm reallystarting to feel a little
dissociated.
Micheal Taur (01:03):
Well, I will tell you, Dale, I think you look
great.
Wow, mike, that means a lot tome.
Anytime, dale, hello andwelcome to the new video
Residence.
This is a news alert fromTritown updating you on the
mysterious vessel off theMoonhaven coast.
It seems the light and movementhas ceased, although now the
(01:26):
vessel is sounding some type ofstrange foghorn.
Residents report the loud,disruptive noise has been
sounding for nearly three daysstraight, leading to quite a few
residential complaints.
The Tritown City Council hasannounced that they will begin
to play music over the PA systemto assist with this nuisance On
the scene now.
(01:47):
Intern Todd.
Intern Todd (01:49):
Hey, Mike.
Wow, thanks for letting me goout on scene.
That this is huge.
Micheal Taur (01:56):
No problem, tim, it sounds a little crazy out
there.
Intern Todd (01:59):
Oh yeah, people are going crazy.
Mike, it's really loud.
Micheal Taur (02:04):
And that music is not helping at all.
Intern Todd (02:07):
Not even a little bit, Mike.
Micheal Taur (02:09):
So has there been any developments in attempts to
breach the vessel?
Intern Todd (02:14):
Well, there have been a few attempts, but it's
super strange.
It seems to go further away thecloser you get to it, but
there's no movement on the shipat all.
It doesn't even seem to bedisturbing the water around it.
And look at this, mike.
Micheal Taur (02:30):
Okay, listeners.
Todd is now showing me thevessel.
It looks to be some type ofsmall cargo or perhaps a fishing
vessel.
The screen's a bit grainy, Todd.
What am I looking at?
Intern Todd (02:43):
Well, watch the seagull Mike.
Micheal Taur (02:45):
Okay, all right.
I see a bird flying towards thevessel.
It's a little hard to describehow this looks, because the bird
and the vessel appear to bemoving away.
Even though the bird is clearlygetting closer to the vessel,
it appears it's about to flyright over the ship.
And oh, oh, wow, todd, it justfell right out of the sky.
(03:07):
Yeah, creepy, isn't it?
Well, tom, it's Todd.
That's what I said.
I literally cannot stand thissound for one more moment, but
thank you for all of your hardwork getting the story on the
ground level.
There you have it, folks.
More news from Tritown.
Stay tuned while we bring youall the latest from the
(03:29):
Moonhaven Maritime Authority.
It's time for the TritownBulletin Board brought to you by
Cox Energy.
Dale Dallas (03:44):
In an Earth Shattering experiment.
Scientists claim they havegiven gravity a 1% boost.
Now Tritown is grappling withthis event and the gravity of
the situation is just sinking it.
Stay tuned as we weigh theimplications.
Micheal Taur (03:58):
I knew there was something wrong about my scale
this morning, dale.
The Tritown Neighborhood Watchasks all residents to take
special care to knock down anyspider webs built across
walkways, sidewalks or trails.
Do your part in thepsychological war Tritown wages
against arachnids.
Knocking down these misplacedwebs sends a clear message Not
(04:22):
here spiders, we really don'tneed them trying to catch people
.
We'd make such good allies ifthey would just stick to the
pests.
Dale Dallas (04:30):
Local chef launches gourmet birdseed line.
Pop culture legend andguerrilla gastronomist Amavis
Davis leaves a new recipe atlocal dining spot Bistro Deluxe.
Patrons aren't quite sure whatto make of this new dish.
Mike, the writer of theestablishment, sidney Doddison,
has had the recipe authenticatedby local Amavis Davis expert
and collector Scott Cooper.
Scott claims this is indeed anew, authentic Amavis Davis
(04:54):
original.
Micheal Taur (04:55):
What do you think Amavis Davis' true identity is
Dale?
Dale Dallas (04:58):
Well, to be honest, Mike, I like the theories that
Scott Cooper himself.
Micheal Taur (05:03):
That would be quite the twist.
I've always thought AmavisDavis doesn't exist at all and
it's just a brilliant Marie'sstew marketing stunt.
She's just always so shrewdwith those campaigns.
She is quite shrewd.
A new spinal center has openedin Pine Bridge.
Are you, or a loved one,struggling with back pain?
Has daily life become filledwith aches and discomfort?
(05:26):
Well, tritown, there's a warmlight at the end of your pain
tunnel, introducing the PineBridge Spinal Center, your
source for new or gently usedspines.
Dale Dallas (05:37):
From personal experience I can say the
refurbished models are just asgood as the new Chilling Crisis
Under the Sea.
Researchers in nearby Deep SeaLab claim to have been stuck
awake throughout the blackout.
After being cut off fromTritown for so long and
consuming all their rations,they were left stranded with
nothing left to eat butfreeze-dried sardine ice cream.
(05:58):
Due to a series of unfortunatetypos and misunderstandings, the
first resupply to the Deep SeaLab was several boxes of
freeze-dried sardine ice cream.
Micheal Taur (06:08):
Based on my personal experience with Todd I
bet there was an intern readingthe correspondence.
Interns aren't so bad likeTodd's pretty terrible.
The post-blackout return tonormalcy continues.
Open Mic Night is back.
That's right.
Open Mic Night has returned.
Join us this Wednesday midnightat the Threadington Community
(06:28):
Center.
The Threadington Autopsy Clubrequests everyone brings a
beverage or small dish to share.
Dale Dallas (06:35):
Hey, are you heading down there this time?
Micheal Taur (06:36):
Mike, I never do.
Dale, this has been the TritownBulletin Port brought to you by
Cox Energy.
It only takes one screw beingin of a lightbulb for Cox to
become your preference too.
To kick off today's EverythingMatters, I take a walk in the
(07:04):
park with Jeb Marshall and learnabout some of Tritown's strange
wildlife.
Apparently it's that time ofyear again.
The greenery in theThreadington Nature Preservation
Park is turning strange hues ofred, orange and yellow.
(07:25):
There's a crisp chill in theair and a promise of a cold,
dark winter ahead.
There's many names for thesetimes Quarter three, end of the
fiscal year, back to school.
But here in the ThreadingtonNature Park they know it by
another name Harvest.
(07:47):
I make the trip down toThreadington Nature Preservation
Park to meet Park Ranger JebMarshall.
I had a simple quest to learnmore about this strange
old-world substance known asmilk.
Apparently, during harvestthere's a strange orange
organism that is milked anddrained of a precious resource
(08:07):
available all throughout Tritown.
You probably know of it aspumpkin spice, but you would be
as surprised as I was to learnit's not made in a factory,
mixed in a lab or squeezed froma flavor packet.
Pumpkin spice is a naturallyoccurring substance harvested
from this strange orange,bulbous organism known as a
(08:30):
pumpkin.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (08:31):
Well, howdy there, Mike Nice of you to
come on out of your tower.
Micheal Taur (08:35):
Good to see you, Jeb, Excited to learn about some
pumpkin milking.
It's clear from watching parkranger Jeb Marshall and
listening to him speak with acalm reverence for nature that
he takes pumpkin milking veryseriously.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (08:52):
So first things first.
Pumpkins are most active atdusk, so the best time to go on
a pumpkin hunt is right around 4or 5 am.
Now during the day like this isfine, where some luck will find
a couple, but it can be alittle more difficult.
What exactly are we looking for, Jeb?
You see, pumpkins are big,bulbous and known for their
(09:15):
orange color.
Any other time of year they'dstand out like a fish on a
bicycle, but this time of year,the colors of the park change
and provide them with somefairly effective camouflage.
Micheal Taur (09:26):
Wow, how many pumpkins have you seen?
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (09:28):
Jeb oh hundreds easy, maybe even
thousands.
Wow, most of you town peopledon't come out of the park much
anyway, but the Spicers andfolks like me see them quite
regularly this time of year.
Micheal Taur (09:42):
Now you're gonna need these earplugs.
Oh, what are these for, Jeb?
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (09:47):
The screaming could get a might be
unsettling for the uninitiated.
Micheal Taur (09:53):
Once we had some warm clothes and some more
somber warnings from Jeb on parksafety, we set out to the
Threadington Nature PreservationPark.
There was quite a pleasantgentle wind and the colors were
quite beautiful.
After a brief walk, jeb stoppedus.
Alright, now you see, rightthere.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (10:14):
Yeah.
Micheal Taur (10:15):
Jeb I see it.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (10:16):
This here's a pumpkin vine.
It's still a little warm.
Leaves are green, probably seenuse in the last few days or so.
We're close.
Micheal Taur (10:27):
Jeb motions for me to stop and I watch as quietly
as possible as Jeb inspects thetracks.
You could tell he was reallytuning in to every smell and
sound of the park.
He was completely silent as hemoved expertly from tree to tree
.
I realized if I hadn't alreadyseen him, I'd have no idea he
(10:48):
was nearby.
After a few minutes ofinspection, Jeb motions for me
to come up beside him.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (10:56):
Alright , now you see, there Underneath
that pine my goodness, I think Ido.
Yeah, right next to the brush,yeah, alright.
Now the trick is to sneak upbehind him.
You got to straddle him andhold on to that brown bit on the
top layer that's called thestem.
Go ahead, get your earplugsready.
Micheal Taur (11:16):
I watch while park ranger Jeb Marshall quietly
sneaks up to the pine he pointedout and all at once, with
surprising speed, jeb lefttoward the tree.
There was a flurry of movementand Jeb disappeared into the
brush.
Through the earplugs I heardthe most incredibly unsettling
screams, albeit and luckily verymuted.
(11:38):
I ran ahead to try and get abetter view and watch while Jeb
demonstrated his technique Legsstraddling the pumpkin, both
hands secured around the brownhorn at the top.
He called the stem.
The scene looked like acigarette ad from an old
magazine where a cowboy wasriding a large horned creature
(11:59):
trying to buck him off.
After about ten minutes of thiswild show, it started to slow
and Jeb finally called out to me.
I ran up to the pumpkin, nowdocile and seemingly exhausted,
beneath park ranger Jeb Marshall.
You could tell he had apracticed hand as he carefully
maneuvered around the bulbouscurves of its orange flesh.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (12:20):
Alright , now.
This next part is locating theteat on this fine specimen,
which can be a little difficultas the location varies from
creature to creature.
Alright, come here now, youlittle fella.
Alright, oopsie daisy.
Oh, here we go.
Now come on over here, mike.
Micheal Taur (12:38):
Uh, okay, I'm a little nervous, jeb.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (12:41):
Ah, don't be this pumpkin's right
tuckered out in docile.
Now grab this part, right?
No, not like that, between yourfingers, massaging a bit.
Right Now, you're gonna squeezeand pull, just like that, right
, exactly.
Keep it up, gentle.
Now, gentle, don't need to getso rough.
(13:01):
There it is, there it is.
Micheal Taur (13:06):
Oh, my goodness, I did it.
What a smell, jeb, that's justdivine.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (13:13):
The townspeople go crazy for this
stuff, mike.
Micheal Taur (13:17):
I can see why, and this doesn't hurt the pumpkin
at all.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (13:20):
Oh no, no, no, no.
Milk and a pumpkin is just asgood for it as it is for us.
Micheal Taur (13:27):
Doesn't hurt at all.
Jeb, can I have a taste?
Park Ranger Jeb Mars (13:32):
Absolutely .
Just put your mouth right onthere, it'll be fine.
Micheal Taur (13:39):
This is delicious, Jeb.
I see now what all the craze isfor milk yeah yeah, yeah.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (13:46):
Well, this is one type of milk,
probably not the type you'rethinking of, but, believe it or
not, all kinds of creatures canproduce milk.
Wow.
Micheal Taur (13:55):
Jeb, you are a fount of knowledge.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (14:04):
Well, I do have some better, sweet and
somber news.
What's that, jeb?
Well, I was just doublechecking and I did some
measurements while you, you know, took care of business there,
and this here beautiful creatureis as big as we can allow
pumpkins to get for the good ofthe park and its neighbors.
(14:26):
We're gonna have to put thisone down.
Micheal Taur (14:28):
Oh, ah, nature.
How big did they get, jeb?
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (14:34):
Well, I don't really know what the
limit is to shoot straight, butthey really do start to become a
danger to themselves and othersaround this size here.
But the good news is the fleshcan also be harvested and it
makes a hell of a pie.
We like to honor the pumpkinand use every part.
Micheal Taur (14:51):
That's beautiful Park, Ranger Jeb.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (14:54):
Now you go on and get.
If you can find your way back,I'll make sure Slash gets back
to you.
Micheal Taur (15:00):
And that, find Denizens of Tritown, is a story
of how I learned both wherepumpkin spice comes from and
what this mysterious milking isall about.
Next time you're enjoying yourpumpkin spice, remember the
pumpkin and maybe even make sometime to visit the Threadington
Nature Preservation Park and seeone for yourselves.
(15:22):
Park Ranger Jeb Marshall is atrained expert, and all acts for
this segment were done underhis watchful supervision.
Please do not try this at home.
Dale Dallas (15:38):
Well, listeners, I can assure you that pie was
excellent.
Now a word from our sponsorsover at Elkhorp.
Bernie Bunson (15:54):
Welcome, dear friends, to the home of tomorrow
presented by El Corp.
Step inside a world ofenchantment where the ordinary
becomes extraordinary and yourevery wish is our command,
introducing our delightfulhousehold helpers, eager to
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Moving silently through yourhome, their inscrutable AI knows
(16:16):
exactly what needs to be done,even when you don't, adding just
a touch of magic to your dailylife.
The living room of tomorrow Afusion of cutting-edge
technology with moon-age designand unmatched comfort.
Smart, energy-efficient windowsproduce natural light to flood
in during the day, whileintelligent lighting systems
(16:36):
create unnatural light.
The perfect ambiance for anyoccasion, blurring the lines
between what's inside and out,featuring immersive wall-sized
displays serving as both theentertainment center and a
virtual window to the world,offering breathtaking views and
interactive experiences.
Smart, adaptable furnitureseamlessly transforms to suit
any occupants' needs, from acozy family movie night to a
(16:59):
productive, remote workenvironment.
And, as mentioned, artificialintelligence orchestrates the
lighting and also climatecontrol and entertainment,
optimizing comfort and energyusage.
L Corp Lawyer (17:11):
The intelligent climate control system may, on
occasion, manifestirregularities, thereby giving
rise to temporary temperaturefluctuations.
It is advisable for users toexercise due diligence in
monitoring and addressing suchappearances, as they acknowledge
risks inherent to the system'sfunctionality.
Bernie Bunson (17:22):
But please don't let this minor hiccup concern
you.
It's more like Mother Naturehaving a momentary lapse in
judgment.
Our AI systems work tirelesslyto rectify these issues,
ensuring that your comfortremains top priority.
Over here we find the kitchen.
Why, yes, the kitchen oftomorrow is a marvel of
innovation and convenience.
(17:42):
The appliances sometimes emitstrange, discordant sounds as
they communicate in a languageof their own to make cooking a
breeze.
Intelligent refrigerators withinventory management systems
help reduce food waste, whileAI-powered cooking assistants
provide personalized recipesuggestions and step-by-step
guidance.
Sustainable practices will takecenter stage, with integrated
(18:04):
composting systems and energyefficient appliances, all
promoting eco-friendliness.
Countertops double as a cookingsurface and 3D printers create
culinary masterpieces withprecision.
As always, the kitchen fostersa sense of community, with
virtual cooking classes andsocial cooking experiences,
bringing people together acrossthe globe.
L Corp Lawyer (18:25):
The automated locking mechanism implemented on
the pantry and refrigeratordoors may on occasion experience
minor operational disruptionsresulting in a brief delay in
user access.
The manufacturer and ordistributor display many
liability for the temporaryaccess to leaves arising from
these intermittent occurrencesAre we going to let a mild
inconvenience and some roboticchatter spoil the fun of cooking
in this futuristic space?
Bernie Bunson (18:43):
I don't think so.
Now we take a trip to the farside of the home, to the indoor
garden.
Behold a green paradise,enhancing air quality and
providing fresh produceyear-round.
Automated hydroponic andvertical gardening systems make
growing herbs, vegetables andeven fruit an effortless
endeavor.
(19:03):
Smart sensors monitor planthealth and adjust light,
nutrients and humidityaccordingly, ensuring a thriving
indoor ecosystem that bringsnature into our daily lives.
Together, these spaces redefinecomfort, efficiency and
sustainability in the modernhome.
L Corp Lawyer (19:20):
The sensors deployed within the garden may
intermittently undergo minoroperational perturbations,
giving rise to subtle variancesin the garden's environmental
conditions.
Bernie Bunson (19:26):
Come on now.
Let's not make a mountain outof a mole hill.
These are little quirks, hardlya big deal, some might say.
They add a touch ofunpredictability to an otherwise
perfectly controlledenvironment, while the home of
tomorrow is a marvel of modernliving.
L Corp Lawyer (19:39):
It is incumbent upon us to address a matter of
significant import.
A matter, though exceedinglyinfrequent, requires our utmost
attention and caution.
In the rarest of instances, acritical system malfunction can
occur, resulting in a temporaryloss of control over the home's
automated features.
During such an event, occupantsmay experience disruptions in
lighting, climate control,security and even potential
delays in accessing essentialareas like the laboratory,
kitchen or even the egress tothe external environment.
It is imperative to underscorethat the aforementioned anomaly
(20:01):
represents exceedingly rare at atypical event and has been
subjected to rigorous scrutinywithin our safety procedures.
Our specialized team oftechnicians is suitably prepared
to completely address any suchcontingency, thereby
guaranteeing the welfare andsecurity of all inhabitants.
It should be acknowledged thatthe home of tomorrow has been
architected with multi-tieredredundancy framework and
failsafe mechanisms,particularly as the environment
should be mitigated like theorder of these exceptional
circumstances.
Nevertheless, we find it rudeto appraise the potential buyers
(20:23):
of the infrequent, albeitpotentially consequential,
matter and reassure them of ourunwavering commitment to ensure
their safety and contentmentthrough all available means.
Bernie Bunson (20:31):
In conclusion, the Home of Tomorrow offers a
vision of living that seamlesslymerges cutting-edge technology
with sustainability and comfort.
While we've highlighted someminor issues with its automated
systems, these are trulyinsignificant in comparison with
the transformative benefits itbrings to your daily life.
With the Home of Tomorrow,you're not just purchasing a
house.
You're investing in a futurewhere your well-being,
(20:53):
convenience and connection tothe community takes center stage
.
The Home of Tomorrow is notjust a purchase.
It's an opportunity to embracea more sustainable and connected
way of living, where technologyenhances, not hinders, your
daily routines.
So step into the future todayand experience the safe,
harmonious and worthwhilelifestyle the Home of Tomorrow
(21:15):
has to offer.
Micheal Taur (21:26):
Well, that was everything matters.
Remember, try town.
The post-Blackout Grace periodis coming to an end and the
census will begin next week.
Please ensure you've locatedall pets, persons and loved ones
in preparation for the census.
Be prepared to report anyanomalies.
A good neighbor is a watchfulneighbor and a new neighbor is a
(21:47):
suspicious neighbor.
I wish you all the best of luckin the days ahead.
Intern Todd is panicking again.
Dale.
Dale Dallas (21:55):
You know, I still think that's just his face, Mike
.
Micheal Taur (21:59):
Uh, unlikely, he appears to be pointing to some
more papers.
He slipped below the door.
Oh, looks like we have somemore notes from the beautiful
Tritownese.
Dale Dallas (22:11):
Uh, first up we have this one from the Dragon
Hermit.
Congrats to Cobb for winningthe lottery.
Again, thank you to Dr Leedsfor the safety talks.
I may or may not have misplacedmy protocol books, so, as
always, great tips.
I always look forward to Mikeand Dale to know if it's safe to
go outside and to know what'sgoing on around Tritown.
Micheal Taur (22:32):
Thank you, Dragon Hermit.
This one's from SketchySquirrel Marie does it again.
These tips are fantastic, butmy friends and I under the
bluffs are waiting to see ifthat deer will ever share her
mother's recipe for thosedelightful yellow cake bomb pops
.
Dale Dallas (22:50):
I think you'll have to pry that with a brick, cold
dead hand.
Mr Sketch, mr Squirrel, thisone's from AdRail over at Cox
Energy.
Thank you, mike and Dale, forbeing there for everyone after
the blackout.
We love listening to your showwhile changing the spend fuel
rods from the reactor.
It's always funny when the newguy starts laughing and
accidentally drops the spherefrom the core and we get to
(23:11):
spend a few weeks mopping up thepuddles.
Micheal Taur (23:13):
Well that woke legal up.
I'm getting some strangegestures, Dale, will you get
legal back to sleep?
This is from Klaus Hans.
Hey, Mike and Dale writing into say thanks for the reminder
to recycle my used blood bags.
I had a pile of them buildingup at the front door and almost
threw them down the chute.
What a grave mistake that wouldhave been.
(23:34):
May algorithm.
God bless this Tritown Lookingforward to the next broadcast,
as am I.
Dale Dallas (23:42):
You gotta recycle those blood bags.
The recycling's good for thecommunity.
Micheal Taur (23:46):
Very good for the community.
Indeed, this has been.
Everything Matters, remembereverything's real, it all
matters, and Mike, we got acaller.
Oh, okay, I guess we have alittle time left here.
Park Ranger Jeb Marshal (24:08):
Hello this is Harvey Nelson
broadcasting on our channel, Ifyou can hear me?
Micheal Taur (24:14):
Hello, caller, welcome to Everything Matters
what news from Tritown?
Hello, come in.
I can hear you, caller.
Oh my God, I haven't heardanother voice in.
Oh, sorry about that.
Folks Seems like Todd.
Please don't hang up.
I have just a question.
Okay, caller, before yourquestion, if you could please
(24:36):
identify yourself and yourpolice of residence?
I'm Harvey Nelson.
L Corp Lawyer (24:40):
I'm looking for my wife, sarah Nelson, and I
live in Indianapolis, todd.
Micheal Taur (24:51):
Sorry about that, folks.
As I was saying, it's all real,everything Matters and it never
ends.
We'll see you next week.
Intern Todd (25:06):
Thanks for listening to Everything Matters.
This is intern Todd.
Everything Matters is a part ofthe Homebrew Network.
If you're listening from the21st century, you could really
help us grow by leaving us areview on Spotify and Apple
podcasts.
The algorithm God hungersgreatly and saving him can be a
full-time job, so leave us areview on Spotify and Apple.
(25:31):
If you leave a review as aresident of Tritown, without
breaking the fourth wall, daleand Mike might read your review
on the show.
Just make sure you don't, youknow, give anything away that
you're from the 21st century orthat could really, you know,
break Mike and Dale's minds.
Yeah, links are atEverythingMattersPodcom.
(25:53):
If you're listening from the22nd and 24th century, you can
review us on Musknet in exchangefor one kudo.
25th to 29th century please getoff the internet immediately.
Using the internet poses apublic safety hazard.
All other centuries.
Call 1-800-MATTERS if it issafe to do so.
(26:14):
Again, that'sEverythingMattersPodcom.
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