October 31, 2023 • 32 mins
Hold onto your seats, folks! Brace yourselves as we plunge headfirst into the spine-chilling mysteries haunting our peaceful town.
Thanks to Emily Foulger (Pat), Maggie Borden (Linda Kali), and Trevor Fisch (Jordan Flemeronishkova) for lending us their beautiful voices.
About The Show
Everything Matters is a Comedy Horror Podcast published every Tuesday. Join Micheal Taur and Dale Dallas as they broadcast the planet's most popular programme to the Tri Town area.
Be sure to follow or subscribe to the show on your preferred podcast provider. It's easier for you to stay up to date and helps us greatly! If you're enjoying the show, please leave us a review. Reviews and sharing with your friends is the best way to show your support.
Disclaimer: Everything Matters IS ENTIRELY satirical, and the people and places in Everything Matters are fiction. Do not try ANYTHING from the broadcast in real life. None of this is real.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Good morning, tritown .
I'm Michael Torr and I'm DaleDallas, and this is Everything
Matters.
Hey, dale.
Uh yeah, mike, do you want todo the last line of the intro?
No of course not.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I think that's your baby.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Okay, because every time I say the line and this is
Everything Matters you alwayssay it uh too, if you want to do
that line?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
No, no, look, I just thought it added a little spice
to the whole deal.
You know like to really showthat we've been broadcasting
together by making it reallysound rehearsed, you know.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Uh sure, we've never rehearsed, though, and honestly
it just doesn't sound great Likewe're not nailing the unison
part.
I don't know, mike, I alwaysthought it sounded pretty good.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I don't hear anything wrong myself.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
What if we pre-recorded it and, just like,
got it kind of perfectly linedup?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I don't know.
That seems dishonest.
Mike, everything Matters is alive show, right?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Okay, um, I'm just gonna do the intro then.
Unless you want to do it, thenI'll just do it.
Dale, is that?
Okay, I'll do the intro.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yeah, go ahead, shoot Cut.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Good morning, tritown .
I'm Michael Tor and I'm DaleDallas, and this is Everything
Matters.
Dale, you did it again.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Mike.
Old habits Tyard.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Old habits.
You just started doing it liketwo months ago.
I hope you're all keeping warmTritown back from a small break
there for the full moon.
Oh, how we missed you.
Let's just jump right into theTritown Bulletin Board brought
(02:08):
to you by Cox Energy.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
This week five young purebred bulls turned up dead at
the Lost Creek Ranch, theirbody parts precisely removed and
their blood mysteriouslydrained.
Park ranger Jeb Marshall hasbeen looking into the killings.
It's unsettling when youstumble upon one of these dead
bulls.
It's hot and still out in thesewoods.
The bull is like a massivebeef-flavored canoe, ready to
(02:31):
set sail on the Great GravyRiver.
Strangely, no buzzards orcoyotes or other scavengers are
anywhere in sight.
The tug-and-organs have beensurgically removed and although
his coat seems shiny as if hewere head down to the fair, he's
completely bloodless.
In this isolated country it canoccasionally take the ranch's
seasoned cowboys days to locatethese bulls.
Employees on the ranch are nowexpected to ride in pairs that
(02:54):
are urged to carry the heavyfirearms.
It's rugged out there, says Jeb.
I mean, it's the frontier.
If some person or person hasthe ability to take down a
2,000-pound range bull, you knowit's not inconceivable that
they wouldn't have a lot ofproblems dealing with a
180-pound cowboy.
Marshall says the case has beenreally difficult due to lack of
(03:14):
solid leads and very littleevidence.
He has a running list ofpopular theories, but it's
obvious that it's not wolves,bears, cougars or toxic plants,
and the animals weren't shot.
If you have any information,contact us here, and everything
matters.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Dale.
One anonymous caller told us tolook for depressions under the
carcass.
The theory there is that if analien ship beams the cow up and
then do whatever they're doingto the organs, they just drop
what's left at a pretty goodheight.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Oh, we'll have to have.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Jeb check on that.
Continuing the string of suddenjob openings cropping up around
Tritown, astronomer andself-proclaimed moonerologist,
adolf Augustine has beenarrested and placed on
indefinite administrative leavedue to the suspicions that his
credentials were forged.
The Tritown Neighborhood Watchhas released a statement saying
(04:06):
Dr Augustine might not be amoonerologist at all.
Last week's sudden andunexpected full moon wreaked
havoc on Tritown.
Hundreds of ripped shirts and anew slew of blood stains around
Tritown.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Someone better call the Reese too.
Looks like we finally got somegood news.
Tritown has secured anemergency supply of mummies.
The Pied Bridge mummified group, higdon Bowery, recently
announced that it will bereleasing one-third of its
strategic mummy stockpile.
Pied Bridge produces nearly 80%of the Tritown mummy supply.
However, this year they wereunable to keep up due to
(04:42):
city-wide demand, whichincreased the whopping 29%
compared to last year.
Mubbification is a seasonalprocess that takes several years
to complete and it can only beperformed under specific
environmental conditions.
The recent decline in thecity's death toll has resulted
in a low yield for producers.
That's why the reserve is made,so we never miss out on that
(05:04):
good stuff.
Besides, the ramificationswould be catastrophic, says
Grace Melinger, the HigdonBowery communication director.
Although it's difficult topredict next year's crop,
they're already planning for thefuture.
We've crunched some numbers and, from what we can figure at
this moment, maybe the callingyear in Pied Bridge will start a
little bit earlier than usual,but it should end sooner as well
(05:24):
.
So go ahead and start toppingoff those drinks with that good
good stuff this weekend everyone.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Someone needs to invent some do-it-yourself kits.
I would love to add mummy dustto my greenhouse.
I'm sure you all know Tritownis in the midst of a skilled
labor crisis, prompting theTritown City Council to announce
a job retraining program.
This six-week intensiveVR-assisted program will give
(05:50):
you a crash course in yourexciting new career.
We have Jobs Galore.
Ever dreamed of being a dentist, perhaps a surgeon, maybe even
a scientist?
You could be at your dream jobin just six short weeks.
Openings in law enforcement,medicine, civil service,
logistics and more.
(06:10):
Call 1-800-NEW JOBS and tellthem everything matters, since
you.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
It'd be really great if we could get a new dentist
here in town.
The last one really did anumber on my teeth.
This morning a man was arrestedafter firing his crossbow from
his balcony into the streets ofPied Bridge.
In this dangerous and confusingevent, two people were killed
and another was injured.
The Pied Bridge Constableerywere initially called to the
apartment building for a port ofthe stabbing incident Monday
(06:37):
morning.
The Constableery have releasedvery few details about what
happened, saying theirinvestigation is still ongoing.
It seems clear that thesituation escalated rapidly
after a call from the stabbingturned into a brief standoff
with the Constableery involvinga crossbow.
Video from the scene shows theman seemingly firing bolts from
the balcony.
In a brief footage, at leastone gunshot rings out as well.
(06:59):
Police Chief Bradley Stockardsays that officers had been
forced to use their weapons.
The Constableery have notpublicly identified anyone
involved in the case, other thanto say the suspect was one of
the 28-year-old men who live inthe city.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Dale, constableery, constableery.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Constableery, that's what I said, Constableery oh
good job, you got it there.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
One more time, Constableery.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Oh my God, Cas-ta-blur-y, Cas-ta-bull.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Good enough, dale Skin skin.
We're all so glad that we'vegot skin.
Although it wears and sometimestears, there's no better ways
to keep our insides in.
You all know that we atEverything Matters are huge
proponents of skin and we'rehappy to report that an
independent study has found nineout of 10 doctors now recommend
(07:53):
leaving your skin on Skin.
Fans from all over Tritown arecelebrating the reaffirmation
and scientific support from themedical community.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Let's crazy to hear that, Mike.
I always take my skin offbefore bed, but I guess I'll
have to stop.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
This has been Everything Matters brought to
you by Cox Energy.
This Halloween ice cream.
You scream, we all scream forCox Cream.
Stop by Tritown Square at theintersections of Moonhaven,
threadington and Pine Bridge andget yourself a free scoop of
pumpkin flavored Cox ice cream.
On today's Everything Matters.
(08:35):
It's Halloween Candies, ghouls,goblins, ghosts, spirits,
revenge, more candy, trickeryall on Tritown's favorite
holiday.
We all know the spirits boundto their final resting place.
Get to roam free.
So please be respectful of thisspecial night and make sure you
(08:55):
leave your porch lights on soeveryone can find their way in
the dark.
For Everything MattersHalloween special.
I mixed things up a bit thisyear.
Forget haunted houses, forgetghost stories.
This year I've reached out toseveral Tritown residents to
hear all about their possesseditems.
But first Dale has a specialedition of Out and About Tritown
(09:19):
.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a special edition of
Out and About Tritown.
Tonight I have a rareopportunity to witness an
exorcism.
Dr Daniel Leeds, an experiencedexorcist in his own right, is
about to confront a demonicpresence.
Please be advised this contentmay be unsettling to some
listeners.
Good evening listeners.
(09:54):
I'm Dale Dallas, and tonight Ifind myself at the Serenity
Ridge Wellness Hospital wherewe're accompanying Dr Daniel
Leeds on his latestinvestigation.
Thanks for letting us sit in,doc.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Um yeah, welcome, dale.
What we have here is someonewho is completely under the
control of an otherworldly force.
If you're going to stay with me, dale, I need you to keep some
distance.
I need you to keep your eyes onyour exit at all times and I
(10:27):
please need you to make surethat you are.
If I say go, you have to listento me.
I'm worried for your safety.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Dale, I completely understand that.
I am ready to run in a moment'snotice Now.
Could you give us a bit of adescription of some of the signs
and symptoms we might see herethat would suggest someone is
possessed by a demon?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I don't love the word demon Dale.
Signs of otherworldlypossession can include
significant shifts inpersonality, strong dislike of
what we'll call sacred objects.
So think your average cross, oreven a pentagram, holy texts,
(11:11):
things of those nature.
They might speak in a languagethat's unfamiliar and oftentimes
the victims will display justinhuman strength.
It is important that you seekprofessional help to assess the
situation.
These symptoms could beindicative of other syndromes,
other conditions, not alwaysdemonic possession, not always
(11:33):
otherworldly influence.
So please seek the help youneed.
Your loved ones would ratherattend your exorcism than attend
your funeral.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Absolutely, doctor.
I completely agree.
Now I'm not very familiar withparanormal investigations like
this, but could you give me abit of a rundown of your
approach?
What are some of the stepsinvolved?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
An investigation into otherworldly influence or the
paranormal or the demonic, asyou said, always begins with
collecting data.
We use specialized equipment tomeasure EMF infrared digital
voice recorders.
These tools help us measure theenvironment and record unusual
(12:15):
occurrence.
Very often you will see thearea around the subject react
before you'll see any symptomsin the subject themselves.
To rule out any naturalexplanations, we always set up
control conditions, so scanningthe area for interference and
other strange sources.
What if we had a person who wasnot possessed but the room was
(12:40):
haunted?
We could give us a falsepositive.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
That makes a lot of sense to me.
We always like to get firstperson research too.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So interviews, eyewitness testimonies the
people who know you best aregoing to be able to tell us what
is normal and what is aparanormal occurrence.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Speaking of with us today are several members of the
possessed individual's family.
It's very clear that this is achallenging time for them.
Do you have any thoughts oremotions before we get started
here, doctor?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
My sympathies are with the victim and their family
, but no, I feel no emotion.
I have been preparing myselffor this moment for hours, and
if you go into an exorcism withfeelings, that is just a doorway
for the otherworldly to justjump right into you, just right
down your throat.
So no, no emotions still.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Do you have any idea, Dr Leeds, how the possessed
even became infected with thisdark presence?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Um.
Honestly, my current theory isthat the victim was drawn into
the situation by not adhering tomirror safety protocol.
These forces can manipulate andtransfer on reflective surfaces
and, in this case, the victim,we believe engaged in a series
of activities that involvedlooking into mirrors for
(13:57):
prolonged periods withoutawareness or protection.
Prologmere gazing can trigger apsychological response known as
the Troxler effect, causingdistorted perceptions.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I believe this to be much more than just that, though
Can you elaborate at all onwhat sorts of activities these
were Um?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
we can't know for sure, but often times victims
are seeking answers andconnections to the supernatural,
and perceiving oneself,especially in a reflective
surface or a mirror, is actuallytied to ancient divination and
scrying rituals.
Mirror gazing and glances canbe done with precautions, but we
(14:41):
believe this individualventured in without the
necessary understandings andsafeguards and following the
protocols that we all know andlove for mirror safety.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Wow, Doctor, that is a critical reminder that even
seemingly innocent actions likethat can have profound
consequences.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Absolutely Dale.
It underscores the importanceof mirror safety and being aware
of potential risks.
This person's experience canserve as a powerful cautionary
tale, which is why I agreed tolet you shadow me.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Dale.
Alright, well, I'm out ofquestions, so I'm ready to get
started whenever you are.
I watch closely over Dr Lean'sshoulder as he begins his
metaphysical battle.
The procedure involves havinghis team recite some powerful
incantations commanding thedemon to leave by calling its
name.
The editing does seem to beresisting, but the doctor and
(15:31):
his team are quite determined towin.
As this possessed old womanrides and convulses.
The intensity of the experienceis undeniable.
Doctor, it's clear this is arather challenging process for
you.
Can you walk us through some ofthe steps of what you're doing
here?
Uh yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Dale, exorcisms like this involve several, uh God, uh
, several steps.
Uh, this entity is reallyfighting to hold its grip.
You've, dale, you've been hereto all mere safety protocols,
correct?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Um, I don't know why you'd ask me that right now.
Of course I am.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Okay, all right.
We're in the stages of extremefear, confusion, pain.
As we progress.
There could be some moments ofclarity.
They could uh plead or expressdesire to be free, or even try
to trick us that the process isover.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Oh, pl-please Help me .
Oh, it hurts, make it, stop theexorcism seems to be working,
Doc.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
What happens after this?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Dale, I think I need your help.
If you can hold down that armplease, oh, right away.
Absolutely Be careful.
There's some claws growing out.
I'd like to try tapping intosome advanced technology.
I have this Soul Shredderdevice.
I'd like to attempt toeliminate the entity altogether.
Um, we're going to start to seesome signs of the entity's
(16:56):
departure.
Dale, you got a good grip.
As good as it's gonna get Allright, turn on the Soul Shredder
.
It's coming, dale, Dale keepyour eyes open.
Dale.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on.
Where are you looking?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Dale, look at me.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Okay, whew.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Oh, that surely was something Quite an experience.
I don't think I'll beforgetting any time soon.
Shit.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Oh, it really takes it out of me.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I think you got it.
How are you not exhausted, dale?
Well, I didn't really do toomuch.
Um well, thanks for theevidence, dr Leeds.
This truly shows, um quite thededication to your uh profession
here.
I'll make sure to follow upwith you and the family uh the
coming day, the Seattle WoodsRecovery.
Thank you for joining us onthis special broadcast listeners
(17:48):
.
Unfortunately, I have learnedthat the possessed individual
passed away.
Exorcism is a very rigorousprocess that many do not survive
.
The constability is stilllooking for the corpse.
Be cautious when dealing withreflective surfaces.
Be sure to follow Dr Leeds'mere safety tips and report any
suspected possessed individualsto the Tritow neighborhood watch
(18:08):
.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Ooh, just kidding Tritow, it's just me, michael
Tor.
Hello, dear listeners, we allknow places and people can be
possessed, but did you know thatobjects can be subject to
otherworldly influence?
And I'm not just talking aboutmirrors.
So pull up a chair, turn outthe lights and pour yourself a
(18:44):
glass of pumpkin milk.
Let's get ready for some scares.
First up, we'll visit Pat fromPat's Pondatorium.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Hello, michael, pleased to meet you.
I'm a huge fan of the show.
Dale was such a sweetheart whenhe came last.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Ah, he is in fact one of the good ones.
Uh, pleased to meet you.
Pat Dale told me about a veryinteresting item that you have
in stock.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah, that's right.
He told me all about yourupcoming Halloween special and,
oh boy, do I have a fun one forya.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Alright, let's see it , pat.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Alright, here you go.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
What is that?
Is that a camera Say cheese,what's cheese?
Oh, that hurt my eyes, pat.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Well, there he is.
Take a look at that picture.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Alright, oh.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Mike, now calm down.
You're going to give yourselfwhiplash.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
What is this?
Is a bunny standing behind me.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Well, I would describe him more as a humanoid
creature in a bunny suit oranthropomorphic bunny creature.
But yeah, that's the gist of it.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
That is just unsettling Pat.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Yeah, try me now.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Alright, okay, so just hold it up like this.
And oh wow, there it is, A manin a bunny suit is standing
behind you.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Well, yeah, every picture this thing takes has a
bunny creature in the background.
It's spooky, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
That's very spooky indeed, pat.
I don't think this is whatrabbit's teeth look like, though
Next up, we're here with BernieBunsen in his famous home of
(20:53):
tomorrow.
Speaker 7 (20:54):
Yes, hello there, Mike.
It's me, Bernie Bunsen, livingit up in my home of tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Indeed, bernie, you have a fun object, I hear, to
scare and delight arc listenersat home.
Speaker 7 (21:06):
Righto, I surely do Right this way, Mike.
What a beautiful home.
Well, thank you, Mike, Iappreciate that.
So here.
Well, look, be home.
What do we have here?
A normal blender, right?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
It.
Yeah, it looks just like ablender.
Speaker 7 (21:23):
So you'll notice I have it unplugged.
Go ahead, mike, plug it in,make us a smoothie.
I've put out a variety ofingredients for you From the
fridge of tomorrow, all freshand perfect temperature.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
All right, I'm fiddling with some things.
Ah, great choices.
Ah yeah, I'm gonna do some ofthese fruits here.
Fruit juice is excellent.
Maybe some greens Marie stewwould approve.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Nothing like some fresh greenery Kept crisp and up
to 34% longer in the fridge oftomorrow.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
All right, I think this is my smoothie, bernie.
Speaker 7 (21:58):
All right, well go ahead and turn it on Mike Flip
the switch.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Hmm, there must be some sort of trick to it, bernie
, it's not starting Listen veryclosely, Mike.
Listen.
Oh, I got some sort of a chantor a ritual or something.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Mike, go ahead and close your eyes.
Listen very carefully.
What are you here?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Okay, well, well, bernie, now that you mention it,
this is a strange feeling, butI have a sudden urge to add this
meat you set out to thissmoothie and there you have it.
Okay, wow, that's reallyunsettling, bernie.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
This blender wants meat.
The bloodier the better.
Straight off the bone.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I kind of want to put my hand in it.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
Well, I certainly don't recommend you do that.
It's quite hungry.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Oh, bernie, really want to put my hand in this, or
I mean, it doesn't have to be myhand, it could be any hand.
Really Do we have to see?
Speaker 7 (22:59):
that, mike, pull yourself together, buddy, you're
losing it.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Well, that certainly was possessed.
Thanks, Bernie, for thatparanormal experience.
Speaker 7 (23:11):
Anytime.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Now, on our Halloween journey, we're going to head
all the way across town to PineBridge, where local mail carrier
Jordan Flemmeronischkeva hasreported yet another piece of
paranormal paraphernalia Jordan,hello there, it's Michael Tor.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
Mike.
Hello, I am so excited.
I have never been on radiobefore.
I'm a little bit nervous.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Oh, don't fret Jordan , it's Halloween.
There's plenty of other thingsto be scared of.
Speaker 6 (23:55):
Oh watch your head there.
Okay, so I have taken toJordaning lately.
Doctor Leeds suggested it afterI started to experience a how
do you say a time loss.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
A very noble endeavor , Jordan.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
And here is the object in question.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
All right, so listeners, this just looks like
a normal notebook.
It does.
It has a little lock on it,almost like a journal or a diary
.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Oh, yes, right, Of course, but I was looking back
through some of my entries and Ihave found that every time I
write an experience in here andI lock it, it gets changed
Changed.
Yes, here you try.
Oh, are you sure?
(24:49):
Yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
All right, oh well, so let's see I'm gonna write.
I am here with JordanFlamronischkova to inspect a
potentially haunted notebook.
Speaker 6 (25:11):
Wow, impressive.
I cannot believe you spelled myname right.
Okay, wow, so go ahead and shutit and lock it.
Okay, now just wait for aSecond and then open it back up.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Okay, listeners, I am opening the notebook.
I'm flipping back to the page.
All right, here we go.
I am here with JordanFlamronischkova to inspect a
potentially haunted notebook.
Wow, jordan, there's more herenow.
(25:58):
It says there's someone else inthe room with us.
I know, if I look away I willforget it.
It's beautiful, it's terrifying.
I want to go with it, but it'snot time, I'm not ready, I must,
okay.
And then it just trails offJordan.
(26:19):
What a trick that is sounsettling.
Speaker 6 (26:23):
I know right, and it's just pages and pages of
stuff like this.
Every time I record anexperience and add this spooky
kind of stuff, all sorts ofthings that I definitely,
definitely did not experience.
What a find.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
What a truly haunted find, Jordan.
Thank you so much forcontributing to our Halloween
special.
Next up, we are back withrecurring guest and everyone's
favorite mining expert andgrocer, Linda Kali.
(27:03):
Linda, good to see you again.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
Hello, michael, glad to be back.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
We are at Linda Kali's home recording and it's
very late at night.
Linda assured us that we neededto time our visit carefully if
we wanted to see her item inaction.
So, Linda, tell me about yourhaunted item.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Well, I don't know if this one qualifies.
It's certainly not how fannypacks operate normally, but I
don't know if it's scary.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
A fanny pack.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
You say yes, one time , while I was headed underground
to work on the tunnel systemunder my home, I came across
this here fanny pack.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Fascinating.
It was just right there in thetunnel.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
Yeah, just sitting there on the bench.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I carved in the stone wall like someone left it there
and you say it's not just anormal fanny pack.
Speaker 5 (28:03):
It's not at all.
Open it up.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Okay, uh, there's nothing in here, just looks like
a normal run-of-the-mill fannypack.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
That's right now.
You hang on to that.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Alright.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Now we just have to wait for a little while.
Can I get you something todrink?
Cranberry juice, Eggnog.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Uh, no, thank you, linda.
We waited for about 20 minutesin pretty much complete silence
while Linda stood in the cornerand stared at the wall.
At the stroke of midnight,suddenly the fanny pack sheet
handed me.
Well, it went from being prettymuch weightless to suddenly
feeling like it had somethingvery heavy inside.
(28:50):
Linda, something's happened.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Yeah, it's midnight.
Every night the same thing.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Okay, let's have a look.
Uh, Linda, it's filled withrocks.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
Look a little closer, Mike.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Okay, listeners, there's a lot of little white
rocks and, oh heavens to BetsyLinda, these are teeth.
Speaker 5 (29:19):
Yeah, human teeth, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Linda, this fanny pack fills with human teeth at
midnight every night.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
I'm not complaining.
There's nothing quite assatisfying as every morning when
I get to empty it out into mytooth pit that I've started.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Well, Linda, this is weird even for me.
I am going to leave now.
Here is your fanny pack.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
Oh hey, I'm not greedy.
These teeth are all yours ifyou want them.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Linda, goodbye and thank you.
Alright, last up, we're herewith Francine Bennington.
Hey there, Francine.
Speaker 8 (30:06):
Hey there, mike.
So you're looking for haunted,spooky, scary stuff, right?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Indeed.
Let's scare some of ourlisteners, Francine.
Speaker 8 (30:15):
Okay, okay, okay, check this out.
Are you ready?
A hunted harmonica.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Oh my, a good old tin sandwich.
My creator loved these things.
Speaker 8 (30:26):
Well, just wait, because this harmonica commands
power over the beasts of Tritown.
Check it out, you see.
You see that Every time I blowin this thing, the dogs start
(30:47):
barking.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, francine, I hate to be the one to break it
to you, but I have someconfidence.
That is just a harmonica.
Thank you, dear listeners, fortuning in.
This has been another broadcastof Everything Matters, and
(31:08):
we'll see you next week.
Remember, it's all real, it allmatters and it never ends.
Now a word from Intern Todd.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Thanks for listening to Everything Matters.
This is Intern Todd.
Everything Matters is a part ofthe Homebrew Network.
If you're listening from the21st century, you could really
help us grow by leaving us areview on Spotify and Apple
Podcasts.
The algorithm god hungersgreatly and saving him can be a
full-time job, so leave us areview on Spotify and Apple.
(31:47):
If you leave a review as aresident of Tritown, without
breaking the fourth wall, daleand Mike might read your review
on the show.
Just make sure you don't giveanything away that you're from
the 21st century or that couldreally break Mike and Dale's
minds.
Yeah, links are atEverythingMattersPodcom.
(32:09):
If you're listening from the22nd and 24th century, you can
review us on Musknet in exchangefor one kudo.
25th to 29th century.
Please get off the internetimmediately.
Using the internet poses apublic safety hazard All other
centuries.
Call 1-800-MATTERS if it issafe to do so.
(32:30):
Again, that'sEverythingMattersPodcom.
Good morning, tritown .
I'm Michael Torr and I'm DaleDallas, and this is Everything
Matters.
Hey, dale.
Uh yeah, mike, do you want todo the last line of the intro?
No of course not.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I think that's your baby.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Okay, because every time I say the line and this is
Everything Matters you alwayssay it uh too, if you want to do
that line?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
No, no, look, I just thought it added a little spice
to the whole deal.
You know like to really showthat we've been broadcasting
together by making it reallysound rehearsed, you know.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Uh sure, we've never rehearsed, though, and honestly
it just doesn't sound great Likewe're not nailing the unison
part.
I don't know, mike, I alwaysthought it sounded pretty good.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I don't hear anything wrong myself.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
What if we pre-recorded it and, just like,
got it kind of perfectly linedup?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I don't know.
That seems dishonest.
Mike, everything Matters is alive show, right?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Okay, um, I'm just gonna do the intro then.
Unless you want to do it, thenI'll just do it.
Dale, is that?
Okay, I'll do the intro.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yeah, go ahead, shoot Cut.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Good morning, tritown .
I'm Michael Tor and I'm DaleDallas, and this is Everything
Matters.
Dale, you did it again.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Mike.
Old habits Tyard.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Old habits.
You just started doing it liketwo months ago.
I hope you're all keeping warmTritown back from a small break
there for the full moon.
Oh, how we missed you.
Let's just jump right into theTritown Bulletin Board brought
(02:08):
to you by Cox Energy.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
This week five young purebred bulls turned up dead at
the Lost Creek Ranch, theirbody parts precisely removed and
their blood mysteriouslydrained.
Park ranger Jeb Marshall hasbeen looking into the killings.
It's unsettling when youstumble upon one of these dead
bulls.
It's hot and still out in thesewoods.
The bull is like a massivebeef-flavored canoe, ready to
(02:31):
set sail on the Great GravyRiver.
Strangely, no buzzards orcoyotes or other scavengers are
anywhere in sight.
The tug-and-organs have beensurgically removed and although
his coat seems shiny as if hewere head down to the fair, he's
completely bloodless.
In this isolated country it canoccasionally take the ranch's
seasoned cowboys days to locatethese bulls.
Employees on the ranch are nowexpected to ride in pairs that
(02:54):
are urged to carry the heavyfirearms.
It's rugged out there, says Jeb.
I mean, it's the frontier.
If some person or person hasthe ability to take down a
2,000-pound range bull, you knowit's not inconceivable that
they wouldn't have a lot ofproblems dealing with a
180-pound cowboy.
Marshall says the case has beenreally difficult due to lack of
(03:14):
solid leads and very littleevidence.
He has a running list ofpopular theories, but it's
obvious that it's not wolves,bears, cougars or toxic plants,
and the animals weren't shot.
If you have any information,contact us here, and everything
matters.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Dale.
One anonymous caller told us tolook for depressions under the
carcass.
The theory there is that if analien ship beams the cow up and
then do whatever they're doingto the organs, they just drop
what's left at a pretty goodheight.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Oh, we'll have to have.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Jeb check on that.
Continuing the string of suddenjob openings cropping up around
Tritown, astronomer andself-proclaimed moonerologist,
adolf Augustine has beenarrested and placed on
indefinite administrative leavedue to the suspicions that his
credentials were forged.
The Tritown Neighborhood Watchhas released a statement saying
(04:06):
Dr Augustine might not be amoonerologist at all.
Last week's sudden andunexpected full moon wreaked
havoc on Tritown.
Hundreds of ripped shirts and anew slew of blood stains around
Tritown.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Someone better call the Reese too.
Looks like we finally got somegood news.
Tritown has secured anemergency supply of mummies.
The Pied Bridge mummified group, higdon Bowery, recently
announced that it will bereleasing one-third of its
strategic mummy stockpile.
Pied Bridge produces nearly 80%of the Tritown mummy supply.
However, this year they wereunable to keep up due to
(04:42):
city-wide demand, whichincreased the whopping 29%
compared to last year.
Mubbification is a seasonalprocess that takes several years
to complete and it can only beperformed under specific
environmental conditions.
The recent decline in thecity's death toll has resulted
in a low yield for producers.
That's why the reserve is made,so we never miss out on that
(05:04):
good stuff.
Besides, the ramificationswould be catastrophic, says
Grace Melinger, the HigdonBowery communication director.
Although it's difficult topredict next year's crop,
they're already planning for thefuture.
We've crunched some numbers and, from what we can figure at
this moment, maybe the callingyear in Pied Bridge will start a
little bit earlier than usual,but it should end sooner as well
(05:24):
.
So go ahead and start toppingoff those drinks with that good
good stuff this weekend everyone.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Someone needs to invent some do-it-yourself kits.
I would love to add mummy dustto my greenhouse.
I'm sure you all know Tritownis in the midst of a skilled
labor crisis, prompting theTritown City Council to announce
a job retraining program.
This six-week intensiveVR-assisted program will give
(05:50):
you a crash course in yourexciting new career.
We have Jobs Galore.
Ever dreamed of being a dentist, perhaps a surgeon, maybe even
a scientist?
You could be at your dream jobin just six short weeks.
Openings in law enforcement,medicine, civil service,
logistics and more.
(06:10):
Call 1-800-NEW JOBS and tellthem everything matters, since
you.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
It'd be really great if we could get a new dentist
here in town.
The last one really did anumber on my teeth.
This morning a man was arrestedafter firing his crossbow from
his balcony into the streets ofPied Bridge.
In this dangerous and confusingevent, two people were killed
and another was injured.
The Pied Bridge Constableerywere initially called to the
apartment building for a port ofthe stabbing incident Monday
(06:37):
morning.
The Constableery have releasedvery few details about what
happened, saying theirinvestigation is still ongoing.
It seems clear that thesituation escalated rapidly
after a call from the stabbingturned into a brief standoff
with the Constableery involvinga crossbow.
Video from the scene shows theman seemingly firing bolts from
the balcony.
In a brief footage, at leastone gunshot rings out as well.
(06:59):
Police Chief Bradley Stockardsays that officers had been
forced to use their weapons.
The Constableery have notpublicly identified anyone
involved in the case, other thanto say the suspect was one of
the 28-year-old men who live inthe city.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Dale, constableery, constableery.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Constableery, that's what I said, Constableery oh
good job, you got it there.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
One more time, Constableery.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Oh my God, Cas-ta-blur-y, Cas-ta-bull.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Good enough, dale Skin skin.
We're all so glad that we'vegot skin.
Although it wears and sometimestears, there's no better ways
to keep our insides in.
You all know that we atEverything Matters are huge
proponents of skin and we'rehappy to report that an
independent study has found nineout of 10 doctors now recommend
(07:53):
leaving your skin on Skin.
Fans from all over Tritown arecelebrating the reaffirmation
and scientific support from themedical community.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Let's crazy to hear that, Mike.
I always take my skin offbefore bed, but I guess I'll
have to stop.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
This has been Everything Matters brought to
you by Cox Energy.
This Halloween ice cream.
You scream, we all scream forCox Cream.
Stop by Tritown Square at theintersections of Moonhaven,
threadington and Pine Bridge andget yourself a free scoop of
pumpkin flavored Cox ice cream.
On today's Everything Matters.
(08:35):
It's Halloween Candies, ghouls,goblins, ghosts, spirits,
revenge, more candy, trickeryall on Tritown's favorite
holiday.
We all know the spirits boundto their final resting place.
Get to roam free.
So please be respectful of thisspecial night and make sure you
(08:55):
leave your porch lights on soeveryone can find their way in
the dark.
For Everything MattersHalloween special.
I mixed things up a bit thisyear.
Forget haunted houses, forgetghost stories.
This year I've reached out toseveral Tritown residents to
hear all about their possesseditems.
But first Dale has a specialedition of Out and About Tritown
(09:19):
.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a special edition of
Out and About Tritown.
Tonight I have a rareopportunity to witness an
exorcism.
Dr Daniel Leeds, an experiencedexorcist in his own right, is
about to confront a demonicpresence.
Please be advised this contentmay be unsettling to some
listeners.
Good evening listeners.
(09:54):
I'm Dale Dallas, and tonight Ifind myself at the Serenity
Ridge Wellness Hospital wherewe're accompanying Dr Daniel
Leeds on his latestinvestigation.
Thanks for letting us sit in,doc.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Um yeah, welcome, dale.
What we have here is someonewho is completely under the
control of an otherworldly force.
If you're going to stay with me, dale, I need you to keep some
distance.
I need you to keep your eyes onyour exit at all times and I
(10:27):
please need you to make surethat you are.
If I say go, you have to listento me.
I'm worried for your safety.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Dale, I completely understand that.
I am ready to run in a moment'snotice Now.
Could you give us a bit of adescription of some of the signs
and symptoms we might see herethat would suggest someone is
possessed by a demon?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I don't love the word demon Dale.
Signs of otherworldlypossession can include
significant shifts inpersonality, strong dislike of
what we'll call sacred objects.
So think your average cross, oreven a pentagram, holy texts,
(11:11):
things of those nature.
They might speak in a languagethat's unfamiliar and oftentimes
the victims will display justinhuman strength.
It is important that you seekprofessional help to assess the
situation.
These symptoms could beindicative of other syndromes,
other conditions, not alwaysdemonic possession, not always
(11:33):
otherworldly influence.
So please seek the help youneed.
Your loved ones would ratherattend your exorcism than attend
your funeral.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Absolutely, doctor.
I completely agree.
Now I'm not very familiar withparanormal investigations like
this, but could you give me abit of a rundown of your
approach?
What are some of the stepsinvolved?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
An investigation into otherworldly influence or the
paranormal or the demonic, asyou said, always begins with
collecting data.
We use specialized equipment tomeasure EMF infrared digital
voice recorders.
These tools help us measure theenvironment and record unusual
(12:15):
occurrence.
Very often you will see thearea around the subject react
before you'll see any symptomsin the subject themselves.
To rule out any naturalexplanations, we always set up
control conditions, so scanningthe area for interference and
other strange sources.
What if we had a person who wasnot possessed but the room was
(12:40):
haunted?
We could give us a falsepositive.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
That makes a lot of sense to me.
We always like to get firstperson research too.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So interviews, eyewitness testimonies the
people who know you best aregoing to be able to tell us what
is normal and what is aparanormal occurrence.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Speaking of with us today are several members of the
possessed individual's family.
It's very clear that this is achallenging time for them.
Do you have any thoughts oremotions before we get started
here, doctor?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
My sympathies are with the victim and their family
, but no, I feel no emotion.
I have been preparing myselffor this moment for hours, and
if you go into an exorcism withfeelings, that is just a doorway
for the otherworldly to justjump right into you, just right
down your throat.
So no, no emotions still.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Do you have any idea, Dr Leeds, how the possessed
even became infected with thisdark presence?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Um.
Honestly, my current theory isthat the victim was drawn into
the situation by not adhering tomirror safety protocol.
These forces can manipulate andtransfer on reflective surfaces
and, in this case, the victim,we believe engaged in a series
of activities that involvedlooking into mirrors for
(13:57):
prolonged periods withoutawareness or protection.
Prologmere gazing can trigger apsychological response known as
the Troxler effect, causingdistorted perceptions.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I believe this to be much more than just that, though
Can you elaborate at all onwhat sorts of activities these
were Um?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
we can't know for sure, but often times victims
are seeking answers andconnections to the supernatural,
and perceiving oneself,especially in a reflective
surface or a mirror, is actuallytied to ancient divination and
scrying rituals.
Mirror gazing and glances canbe done with precautions, but we
(14:41):
believe this individualventured in without the
necessary understandings andsafeguards and following the
protocols that we all know andlove for mirror safety.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Wow, Doctor, that is a critical reminder that even
seemingly innocent actions likethat can have profound
consequences.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Absolutely Dale.
It underscores the importanceof mirror safety and being aware
of potential risks.
This person's experience canserve as a powerful cautionary
tale, which is why I agreed tolet you shadow me.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Dale.
Alright, well, I'm out ofquestions, so I'm ready to get
started whenever you are.
I watch closely over Dr Lean'sshoulder as he begins his
metaphysical battle.
The procedure involves havinghis team recite some powerful
incantations commanding thedemon to leave by calling its
name.
The editing does seem to beresisting, but the doctor and
(15:31):
his team are quite determined towin.
As this possessed old womanrides and convulses.
The intensity of the experienceis undeniable.
Doctor, it's clear this is arather challenging process for
you.
Can you walk us through some ofthe steps of what you're doing
here?
Uh yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Dale, exorcisms like this involve several, uh God, uh
, several steps.
Uh, this entity is reallyfighting to hold its grip.
You've, dale, you've been hereto all mere safety protocols,
correct?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Um, I don't know why you'd ask me that right now.
Of course I am.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Okay, all right.
We're in the stages of extremefear, confusion, pain.
As we progress.
There could be some moments ofclarity.
They could uh plead or expressdesire to be free, or even try
to trick us that the process isover.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Oh, pl-please Help me .
Oh, it hurts, make it, stop theexorcism seems to be working,
Doc.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
What happens after this?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Dale, I think I need your help.
If you can hold down that armplease, oh, right away.
Absolutely Be careful.
There's some claws growing out.
I'd like to try tapping intosome advanced technology.
I have this Soul Shredderdevice.
I'd like to attempt toeliminate the entity altogether.
Um, we're going to start to seesome signs of the entity's
(16:56):
departure.
Dale, you got a good grip.
As good as it's gonna get Allright, turn on the Soul Shredder
.
It's coming, dale, Dale keepyour eyes open.
Dale.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on.
Where are you looking?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Dale, look at me.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Okay, whew.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Oh, that surely was something Quite an experience.
I don't think I'll beforgetting any time soon.
Shit.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Oh, it really takes it out of me.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I think you got it.
How are you not exhausted, dale?
Well, I didn't really do toomuch.
Um well, thanks for theevidence, dr Leeds.
This truly shows, um quite thededication to your uh profession
here.
I'll make sure to follow upwith you and the family uh the
coming day, the Seattle WoodsRecovery.
Thank you for joining us onthis special broadcast listeners
(17:48):
.
Unfortunately, I have learnedthat the possessed individual
passed away.
Exorcism is a very rigorousprocess that many do not survive
.
The constability is stilllooking for the corpse.
Be cautious when dealing withreflective surfaces.
Be sure to follow Dr Leeds'mere safety tips and report any
suspected possessed individualsto the Tritow neighborhood watch
(18:08):
.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Ooh, just kidding Tritow, it's just me, michael
Tor.
Hello, dear listeners, we allknow places and people can be
possessed, but did you know thatobjects can be subject to
otherworldly influence?
And I'm not just talking aboutmirrors.
So pull up a chair, turn outthe lights and pour yourself a
(18:44):
glass of pumpkin milk.
Let's get ready for some scares.
First up, we'll visit Pat fromPat's Pondatorium.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Hello, michael, pleased to meet you.
I'm a huge fan of the show.
Dale was such a sweetheart whenhe came last.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Ah, he is in fact one of the good ones.
Uh, pleased to meet you.
Pat Dale told me about a veryinteresting item that you have
in stock.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah, that's right.
He told me all about yourupcoming Halloween special and,
oh boy, do I have a fun one forya.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Alright, let's see it , pat.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Alright, here you go.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
What is that?
Is that a camera Say cheese,what's cheese?
Oh, that hurt my eyes, pat.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Well, there he is.
Take a look at that picture.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Alright, oh.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Mike, now calm down.
You're going to give yourselfwhiplash.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
What is this?
Is a bunny standing behind me.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Well, I would describe him more as a humanoid
creature in a bunny suit oranthropomorphic bunny creature.
But yeah, that's the gist of it.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
That is just unsettling Pat.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Yeah, try me now.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Alright, okay, so just hold it up like this.
And oh wow, there it is, A manin a bunny suit is standing
behind you.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Well, yeah, every picture this thing takes has a
bunny creature in the background.
It's spooky, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
That's very spooky indeed, pat.
I don't think this is whatrabbit's teeth look like, though
Next up, we're here with BernieBunsen in his famous home of
(20:53):
tomorrow.
Speaker 7 (20:54):
Yes, hello there, Mike.
It's me, Bernie Bunsen, livingit up in my home of tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Indeed, bernie, you have a fun object, I hear, to
scare and delight arc listenersat home.
Speaker 7 (21:06):
Righto, I surely do Right this way, Mike.
What a beautiful home.
Well, thank you, Mike, Iappreciate that.
So here.
Well, look, be home.
What do we have here?
A normal blender, right?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
It.
Yeah, it looks just like ablender.
Speaker 7 (21:23):
So you'll notice I have it unplugged.
Go ahead, mike, plug it in,make us a smoothie.
I've put out a variety ofingredients for you From the
fridge of tomorrow, all freshand perfect temperature.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
All right, I'm fiddling with some things.
Ah, great choices.
Ah yeah, I'm gonna do some ofthese fruits here.
Fruit juice is excellent.
Maybe some greens Marie stewwould approve.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Nothing like some fresh greenery Kept crisp and up
to 34% longer in the fridge oftomorrow.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
All right, I think this is my smoothie, bernie.
Speaker 7 (21:58):
All right, well go ahead and turn it on Mike Flip
the switch.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Hmm, there must be some sort of trick to it, bernie
, it's not starting Listen veryclosely, Mike.
Listen.
Oh, I got some sort of a chantor a ritual or something.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Mike, go ahead and close your eyes.
Listen very carefully.
What are you here?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Okay, well, well, bernie, now that you mention it,
this is a strange feeling, butI have a sudden urge to add this
meat you set out to thissmoothie and there you have it.
Okay, wow, that's reallyunsettling, bernie.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
This blender wants meat.
The bloodier the better.
Straight off the bone.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I kind of want to put my hand in it.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
Well, I certainly don't recommend you do that.
It's quite hungry.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Oh, bernie, really want to put my hand in this, or
I mean, it doesn't have to be myhand, it could be any hand.
Really Do we have to see?
Speaker 7 (22:59):
that, mike, pull yourself together, buddy, you're
losing it.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Well, that certainly was possessed.
Thanks, Bernie, for thatparanormal experience.
Speaker 7 (23:11):
Anytime.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Now, on our Halloween journey, we're going to head
all the way across town to PineBridge, where local mail carrier
Jordan Flemmeronischkeva hasreported yet another piece of
paranormal paraphernalia Jordan,hello there, it's Michael Tor.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
Mike.
Hello, I am so excited.
I have never been on radiobefore.
I'm a little bit nervous.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Oh, don't fret Jordan , it's Halloween.
There's plenty of other thingsto be scared of.
Speaker 6 (23:55):
Oh watch your head there.
Okay, so I have taken toJordaning lately.
Doctor Leeds suggested it afterI started to experience a how
do you say a time loss.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
A very noble endeavor , Jordan.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
And here is the object in question.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
All right, so listeners, this just looks like
a normal notebook.
It does.
It has a little lock on it,almost like a journal or a diary
.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Oh, yes, right, Of course, but I was looking back
through some of my entries and Ihave found that every time I
write an experience in here andI lock it, it gets changed
Changed.
Yes, here you try.
Oh, are you sure?
(24:49):
Yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
All right, oh well, so let's see I'm gonna write.
I am here with JordanFlamronischkova to inspect a
potentially haunted notebook.
Speaker 6 (25:11):
Wow, impressive.
I cannot believe you spelled myname right.
Okay, wow, so go ahead and shutit and lock it.
Okay, now just wait for aSecond and then open it back up.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Okay, listeners, I am opening the notebook.
I'm flipping back to the page.
All right, here we go.
I am here with JordanFlamronischkova to inspect a
potentially haunted notebook.
Wow, jordan, there's more herenow.
(25:58):
It says there's someone else inthe room with us.
I know, if I look away I willforget it.
It's beautiful, it's terrifying.
I want to go with it, but it'snot time, I'm not ready, I must,
okay.
And then it just trails offJordan.
(26:19):
What a trick that is sounsettling.
Speaker 6 (26:23):
I know right, and it's just pages and pages of
stuff like this.
Every time I record anexperience and add this spooky
kind of stuff, all sorts ofthings that I definitely,
definitely did not experience.
What a find.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
What a truly haunted find, Jordan.
Thank you so much forcontributing to our Halloween
special.
Next up, we are back withrecurring guest and everyone's
favorite mining expert andgrocer, Linda Kali.
(27:03):
Linda, good to see you again.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
Hello, michael, glad to be back.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
We are at Linda Kali's home recording and it's
very late at night.
Linda assured us that we neededto time our visit carefully if
we wanted to see her item inaction.
So, Linda, tell me about yourhaunted item.
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Well, I don't know if this one qualifies.
It's certainly not how fannypacks operate normally, but I
don't know if it's scary.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
A fanny pack.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
You say yes, one time , while I was headed underground
to work on the tunnel systemunder my home, I came across
this here fanny pack.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Fascinating.
It was just right there in thetunnel.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
Yeah, just sitting there on the bench.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I carved in the stone wall like someone left it there
and you say it's not just anormal fanny pack.
Speaker 5 (28:03):
It's not at all.
Open it up.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Okay, uh, there's nothing in here, just looks like
a normal run-of-the-mill fannypack.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
That's right now.
You hang on to that.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Alright.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Now we just have to wait for a little while.
Can I get you something todrink?
Cranberry juice, Eggnog.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Uh, no, thank you, linda.
We waited for about 20 minutesin pretty much complete silence
while Linda stood in the cornerand stared at the wall.
At the stroke of midnight,suddenly the fanny pack sheet
handed me.
Well, it went from being prettymuch weightless to suddenly
feeling like it had somethingvery heavy inside.
(28:50):
Linda, something's happened.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Yeah, it's midnight.
Every night the same thing.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Okay, let's have a look.
Uh, Linda, it's filled withrocks.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
Look a little closer, Mike.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Okay, listeners, there's a lot of little white
rocks and, oh heavens to BetsyLinda, these are teeth.
Speaker 5 (29:19):
Yeah, human teeth, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Linda, this fanny pack fills with human teeth at
midnight every night.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
I'm not complaining.
There's nothing quite assatisfying as every morning when
I get to empty it out into mytooth pit that I've started.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Well, Linda, this is weird even for me.
I am going to leave now.
Here is your fanny pack.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
Oh hey, I'm not greedy.
These teeth are all yours ifyou want them.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Linda, goodbye and thank you.
Alright, last up, we're herewith Francine Bennington.
Hey there, Francine.
Speaker 8 (30:06):
Hey there, mike.
So you're looking for haunted,spooky, scary stuff, right?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Indeed.
Let's scare some of ourlisteners, Francine.
Speaker 8 (30:15):
Okay, okay, okay, check this out.
Are you ready?
A hunted harmonica.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Oh my, a good old tin sandwich.
My creator loved these things.
Speaker 8 (30:26):
Well, just wait, because this harmonica commands
power over the beasts of Tritown.
Check it out, you see.
You see that Every time I blowin this thing, the dogs start
(30:47):
barking.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, francine, I hate to be the one to break it
to you, but I have someconfidence.
That is just a harmonica.
Thank you, dear listeners, fortuning in.
This has been another broadcastof Everything Matters, and
(31:08):
we'll see you next week.
Remember, it's all real, it allmatters and it never ends.
Now a word from Intern Todd.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Thanks for listening to Everything Matters.
This is Intern Todd.
Everything Matters is a part ofthe Homebrew Network.
If you're listening from the21st century, you could really
help us grow by leaving us areview on Spotify and Apple
Podcasts.
The algorithm god hungersgreatly and saving him can be a
full-time job, so leave us areview on Spotify and Apple.
(31:47):
If you leave a review as aresident of Tritown, without
breaking the fourth wall, daleand Mike might read your review
on the show.
Just make sure you don't giveanything away that you're from
the 21st century or that couldreally break Mike and Dale's
minds.
Yeah, links are atEverythingMattersPodcom.
(32:09):
If you're listening from the22nd and 24th century, you can
review us on Musknet in exchangefor one kudo.
25th to 29th century.
Please get off the internetimmediately.
Using the internet poses apublic safety hazard All other
centuries.
Call 1-800-MATTERS if it issafe to do so.
(32:30):
Again, that'sEverythingMattersPodcom.
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