January 23, 2025 • 21 mins
🎧 Episode 152: From Stage Fright to Spotlight with Linda Ugelow (Part 2)
Ever wonder why some people seem naturally confident on stage while others freeze? In this powerful conclusion to our conversation, presence coach Linda Ugelow reveals the hidden barriers holding you back and shares revolutionary techniques to transform your relationship with being seen.
Discover:
- The surprising pre-performance ritual that eliminates speaking anxiety
- Three invisible blocks keeping you from showing up authentically (and how to clear them)
- Why your voice is more powerful than you realize - and how to unlock its full potential
- A game-changing body scan technique for staying grounded in high-stakes moments
- The truth about virtual presence - and why "looking perfect" might be hurting your impact
🔑 Game-Changing Insights:
- The real reason you're uncomfortable being seen (hint: it's not about confidence)
- How cultural messages secretly sabotage your speaking power
- Why traditional "manage your anxiety" advice keeps you stuck
- The counterintuitive approach to virtual presence that builds deeper connections
- A daily practice that transforms challenging conversations
💡 Breakthrough Moment: "If you don't feel safe inside your own head, you're not going to feel safe in front of other people." - Linda Ugelow
Linda's Parting Wisdom: "Honor and accept where you are in your journey, because you can't be where you're not."
📚 Resources:
- Get Linda's book: "Delight in the Limelight: Overcome Your Fear of Being Seen and Step Into Your True Performance Power": https://www.amazon.com/Delight-Limelight-Overcome-Realize-Dreams/dp/1989603947
- Learn more about Linda's Comfy on Camera class and the Delight in the Limelight Accelerator: https://lindaugelow.com/
Ready to transform your relationship with visibility?
- Download Linda's Speaker Preparation Checklist at lindaugelow.com
- Get a free chapter of "Delight in the Limelight"
- Learn about the upcoming Delight in the Limelight Accelerator Program
Don't miss this episode if you're ready to stop managing your visibility fears and start eliminating them completely.
A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!
Check out my website: www.evokegreatness.com
Follow me on:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonnie-linebarger-899b9a52/
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https://www.tiktok.com/@evoke.greatness
http://www.youtube.com/@evokegreatness
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to Evoke Greatness.
We are officially entering yearthree of this podcast and I am
filled with so much gratitudefor each and every one of you
who've joined me on thisincredible journey of growth and
self-discovery.
I'm Sunny, your host and fellowtraveler on this path of
personal evolution.
This podcast is a sanctuary forthe curious, the ambitious and
(00:28):
the introspective.
It's for those of you who, likeme, are captivated by the
champion mindset and driven byan insatiable hunger for growth
and knowledge.
Whether you're just beginningyour journey or you're well
along your path, you're going tofind stories here that resonate
with your experiences andaspirations.
Over the last two years, we'veshared countless stories of
triumph and challenge, ofresilience and transformation.
(00:51):
We've laughed, we've reflectedand we've grown together.
And as we've evolved, so toohas this podcast.
Remember, no matter whatchapter you're on in your own
story, you belong here.
This community we've builttogether is a place of support,
inspiration and shared growth.
Where intention goes, energyflows, and the energy you bring
(01:13):
to this space elevates us all.
So, whether you're listeningwhile commuting, working out or
enjoying your morning coffee,perhaps from one of those
motivational mugs I'm so fond of, know that you're a part of
something special.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for your curiosity,your openness and your
commitment to personal growth.
As we embark on year three, Iinvite you to lean in, to listen
(01:36):
deeply and to let these storiesresonate with your soul.
I believe that a rising tideraises all ships and I invite
you along in this journey toevoke greatness.
(01:57):
Welcome back to part two of myepisode with Linda Ugalo.
In this episode she talks aboutthe real reason.
You're uncomfortable being seen, how cultural messages secretly
sabotage your speaking powerand why traditional manage your
anxiety advice actually keepsyou stuck.
Make sure to go back and listento last week's episode, which
(02:18):
was part one, where she talksabout the fear of visibility
often stems from pastexperiences.
True performance power comesfrom removing fear rather than
managing it.
I hope you enjoy part two, solet's go ahead and hop into it.
Yeah, one of my favorite thingsto do when speaking is to go
into the room.
That kind of used to be a fearfor me is when you're in that
(02:39):
room.
Then it's go time and my heartrate would start speeding up,
and so what I found myself doingis going to the room ahead of
time and kind of just standinggrounded in the room and taking
in the energy and justvisualizing the people's faces.
What are they there for, whatis their intention, how can I
serve them?
And that, for me personally,had me shift or reframe how I
(03:05):
was looking at the room that Iwas going into.
Originally it was this place ofnot maybe not fear, but
definite nervousness, and notthat I not that I still don't
have kind of my heart ratespeeds up a little bit, but it
is really truly out of like theability that I get the
opportunity to serve thesepeople, ability that I get the
opportunity to serve thesepeople and so it's different.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah, I mean, it's likely for us to have a little
bit of adrenaline rush whenwe're doing something new,
especially if we've never talkedabout that topic before or if
there's something new about itthat makes a lot of sense.
I love what you did.
I do that all the time.
I recommend that to all of myclients in my singing group,
since we always warmed up in thespace that we were going to
perform in.
We had that opportunity to doit.
As I'm doing vocalizes.
(03:53):
I'll be looking around the room, looking at the windows and the
ceiling and the seatingarrangements and imagining
people there and imagininglooking over to the left or over
to the right, and it definitelyprepaves Again.
It kind of makes more automatic.
You are already in relationshipto the space.
(04:16):
You are creating yourrelationship, Just like I was
describing creating arelationship to the lens.
You're creating a relationshipto the room.
You're creating a relationshipto the room, and we can do this
also even before we get into theroom, and I recommend this.
I have it in chapter two of mybook of mental rehearsal, where
you just imagine yourself inthis space, even though you
(04:38):
don't know what it may look likeyet, but you imagine it and you
do exactly what you did.
You imagine like seeing thepeople sitting around and maybe
they're smiling at you and yousee yourself moving just the way
you want to move and speakingthe way you want to speak and
feeling the way you want to feeland seeing the outcome at the
end and people smiling and howyou feel walking off the stage.
(05:00):
I mean, you can do this.
Oh, another thing that you canimagine is that the first words
that come out of your mouth,you're already in the groove.
This is something that a lot ofpeople who are seasoned
speakers they'll say well, I'mreally nervous for the first 10
minutes and then I get into thegroove.
Well then, we've got to imaginewhat does that groove feel like
(05:22):
and put that in before you geton so that you start off feeling
I'm here, I'm already in this,yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yeah, you've worked with people across different
industries and cultures.
What have you discovered around, what that universal fear is
about being seen and how do youhelp people move through these
fears versus just kind of on theoutskirts we're just going to
go around these.
How do they actually movethrough them?
Versus skating the outskirts ofthem?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Well, it's my deep belief that the fear of speaking
is not random.
It's always connected tosomething, so whether it's that
impacting past experience ormessages that we receive from
our culture and around the worldof course, cultures have
different messages that theygive in terms of if it's okay to
(06:15):
look at somebody in the eye, insome cultures you don't look
someone in the eye, you lookdown.
Or there's deference toauthority figures I mean, there
should be deference here too,but it's a little different and
or to older people, tograndparents, for instance.
But we'll adopt messages likechildren should be seen and not
(06:39):
heard, or don't stand out, or bea good kid, which means be
compliant, and all of these.
Silence is golden.
Or if you don't have anythingnice to say, don't say anything
at all.
Any of these things that, if weare trying to be good, we're
going to adopt and we don'trealize that we've taken them on
(07:02):
but they're no longer needed.
Because again, it's not like wegraduate and they say okay,
here are all the rules that youwere playing by before, but now
that you're an adult, you gotthis whole new set of rules and
so just drop that.
No, we just carry them with us.
And so there are three thingsthat we have to clear away to
(07:23):
overcome the fear of speakingthese past experiences, the
messages we received and the waywe're talking to ourselves,
because if you don't feel safeinside your own head, you're not
going to feel safe in front ofother people.
So I find, actually, that doingthose three things and
resolving and clearing thoseaway people feel hugely
different when they get out,either on stage or they're
(07:48):
leading a meeting or having aconversation wherever it is that
you feel uncomfortable.
Conversation wherever it isthat you feel uncomfortable,
that is usually enough to getover it.
However, there is more you cando, which we were just talking
about peak experience that youcan do in order to feel even
better, because it's not to me.
Speaking is our human design.
(08:08):
You know we're meant to be goodat speaking and we adopt.
We know that it's somethingthat we can get better at in our
interpersonal communication.
Obviously, we can get better atas a public speaker or giving
presentations, or stepping up atown hall meeting to share your
(08:33):
opinion on a new you know votethat they're taking there.
What I have realized mostrecently that it's funny that it
took me so long, since I'vebeen not only in a singing group
for 40 years, but I was takingvocal lessons for all those
years, every single week thatwhen we also reclaim not just
(08:57):
that we have a voice meaninglike we have something to say
but we actually reclaim ourspeaking voice as our instrument
, that changes everything forthe better, because we tend to
think okay, I learned how tospeak, I know how to speak.
I mean meaning, use my voiceand that's it.
Maybe I speak too fast or maybeI speak too quietly and maybe I
(09:23):
need to work on that.
But it goes even beyond that.
I feel like most of us are outof touch with the experience of
making sounds, with theexperience of producing our
words.
But when you think about it,it's amazing what we do.
We're moving our jaw, we'removing our tongue and using our
(09:43):
lips and we're shaping ourmouths for these different
vowels and they create soundsthat have meaning to you and me
and all these people who arelistening.
And not just that, but thereare all these languages around
the world that are different,that do the same thing.
It's pretty mysterious andamazing, and I would love to see
(10:04):
people begin to recognize andrealize what an amazing thing it
is that we have an actual voiceto speak with and to enjoy and
perhaps rediscover the pleasureof making sounds.
(10:24):
I mean, when you are makingsounds as I'm speaking, I'm
vibrating.
I can feel the vibration in mybody.
I feel the vibration, I feelthe hum in my throat.
It feels very nice, it feelspleasant and it feels good to
release my breath.
I mean, everyone likes to sighand exhale.
That's what we do when we speak.
(10:46):
We are actually speaking ourwords on the exhale.
So there's so many things toexplore in our voice and as we
do that, as we speak, it keepsus grounded inside ourselves, it
keeps us in the present momentand it allows us the possibility
of expressing ourselves with alot more dynamics and color and
(11:08):
interest, because we, as thewords come out, we are shaping
it with our volume and with ourtone and with our energy, and it
makes it so much more fun.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, many of our listeners are leaders and a lot
of their role is inspiringconfidence in their teams, while
sometimes dealing with theirown self-doubt, right, those own
things that are going around intheir own minds.
In the time when you're feelinga little heated or you're in
(11:45):
that situation where it feelslike, okay, I have to get out of
my own head and maybe be morepresent here.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yes, yes, this is a very important technique and
skill for us all to have and Irecommend that you practice this
, not in heated moments, but youpractice it daily, just as
you're listening to your kids oryour spouse or your colleagues,
when you're in conversationwith anyone.
I recommend doing a body scanJust notice your feet on the
floor, notice the position ofyour arms and legs, feel your
(12:24):
breath.
When you stay connected withyour body in this way, in a
somatic awareness, you actuallykeep your brain clear so you can
listen better.
What we often do is, whilesomeone's talking, we're
thinking, oh, what am I going tosay next?
(12:44):
But if you occupy your mindwith staying in your embodied,
then you actually keep your mindclear and you would be
surprised that you can hearbetter.
And even if you had somethingthat you could have said at one
point, but they kept on talkinglike I'm just keeping talking
now then you stay present withthem and then, if something
(13:07):
happens where there's a physicalor emotional response that
you're having, you will knowit's happening as it's happening
.
Like you'll say oh, I'm feelingmy blood pressure rising and
maybe I'll just like put youknow, feel my feet on the ground
, just take a breath, you know,sit back in my seat, let my body
(13:39):
be heavy, respond in a physicalway to the emotion or anxiety
or the hormonal release that'shappening as you're in
conversation.
But if you haven't practiced it, then it's much harder to do
when you're in the heat of themoment.
(13:59):
But if it's something that youregularly do, then you will be
equipped at that time.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yeah, completely agree.
It's almost like if you startto implement it into your
regular daily interactions andit can be subtle, right?
It can be you just kind ofchecking in with yourself in the
course of your workday, yourday at home, where you're like,
okay, here's where I am, here'show I'm feeling.
And if you start doing thatregularly, it becomes a little
(14:28):
bit more of a natural thing foryou to do, regardless of what
situation you're in.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And the same thing is going tohappen if you are someone who's
speaking in person, if you arepracticing staying embodied, and
if you practice stayingembodied while you're speaking
in a casual way, then you willbe able to take that awareness
with you into those higher stakemoments.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
The pandemic, I think , did some interesting things to
us.
It really transformed how wepresent ourselves with many
interactions because we moved alot to be online.
How do you think that shiftimpacted our relationship with
visibility and are there anyunique opportunities that you
(15:16):
see in this landscape where weare online a whole lot more
maybe than we had been pre?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
all of that, I do feel like there are a lot of
opportunities.
I mean, not many of us grew upthinking, oh, I want to be an
on-camera personality, but thepandemic kind of turned us all
into that right I feel like wecould utilize.
Now that we are online, we mayas well raise our aesthetic,
Aesthetic and artistic standardsa little bit.
(15:46):
So, for instance, like if youare a professional and you are
you want to make sure that howyou show up on camera, your face
is lit.
I mean number one, that we canangle the camera so that you
feel like you are sitting acrossfrom someone at the table
(16:07):
rather than your head like atthe way bottom.
We can lighting, sound framing,maybe having a background, like
right now I don't know how manypeople are going to be watching
and how many people arelistening, but behind me I have
kind of like a little setupthat's actually mobile and it's
a little place where I can stickmy book.
(16:28):
So even though I'm on camera,people can see my book.
That's a professional setting.
So, whether or not you work foryourself or you work in a
company, you may put in a littleenergy into creating a setting,
a nice setting for people tosee you in and it shows you as
the professional that you are.
You know, again, it depends onwhat your brand is and you know
(16:51):
what your.
You know who is your audience.
I once had a.
I had one client who workedwith moms of children who had
health issues and they werefrazzled and she was very
concerned with showing herselfwith her hair.
She said one of the things thatreally gets me is having to do
(17:14):
my hair and makeup.
I said why are you doing yourhair and makeup?
Your audience isn't doing theirhair and makeup.
They've got too much on theirplate.
They don't want to look at youand think, oh, marie has it all
together.
Look at her.
I can't possibly look as goodas her.
I said no, you've got to do it,for you know, be relatable to
your audience.
So, even though I'm talkingabout a professional background,
(17:36):
I mean, if it's relevant to youfor her it's probably was
better for her to just show upin her kitchen.
You know better for her to justshow up in her kitchen, you
know, with her hair unbrushedand a sweatshirt, because that
was what related to the peoplewho are following her.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, and relatability is everything right
.
If someone feels like theycan't quite like, the message
may resonate.
But even if they feel like theycan't relate to you and you're
the one with the message,there's going to be a sense of
separation there, and so I lovethat.
I love that that was the advice, because really guess what
People showing up to hear moreabout that, how much more at
home did they feel from themessage that they were receiving
(18:19):
from this person?
Because they felt like theywere looking in the mirror, and
that's that piece where wealmost like lean in and we get
drawn in more.
Well, as we wrap up, I have aquestion that I always love to
throw out, and that is if itwere your last day on earth and,
of all you've learned, youcould only give one piece of
(18:40):
advice or guidance to the world,what would that?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
be.
It would be to honor and acceptwhere you are in your journey,
because you can't be whereyou're not.
Beautiful advice.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Beautiful advice.
Well, Linda, I would love foryou to share where everyone can
find you follow, you get yourcontent, find out more about the
Accelerator program or yourbook, and I'll put all this in
show notes, but I would love foryou to share that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yes, come to my website, lindayugelowcom.
That's U-G-E-L-O-W.
You can download a free chapterfrom my book.
You can download the speakerpreparation checklist, which is
my recommendations beyond justpracticing what you want to say,
so that your voice and yourbody is open and ready to go and
(19:26):
your energy is focused and yourmind is in the right place.
I feel like I always go througha little checklist myself and
it makes life, so I don't forgetanything, because I want to
bring my best to my speaking.
So you can do that too, and interms of the accelerator, I
don't even have it up yet, butyou can always message me and
(19:50):
say hey, I want to find out moreabout this and we can talk
message me and say, hey, I wantto find out more about this and
we can talk.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Excellent.
Well, I appreciate you comingon and sharing your story and
your wisdom and insights withthe audience.
There's lots of gold nuggetshere, and so we will make sure
to have all of your contactinformation in the show notes so
that people can take in more.
Thanks so much.
Sunny take in more.
Thanks so much, sunny.
(20:19):
Thank you so much for listeningand for being here on this
journey with me.
I hope you'll stick around Ifyou liked this episode.
It would mean the world for meif you would rate and review the
podcast or share it withsomeone you know.
Many need to hear this message.
I love to hear from you all andwant you to know that you can
leave me a voicemail directly.
If you go to my website,evokegreatnesscom, and go to the
contact me tab, you'll just hitthe big old orange button and
record your message.
I love the feedback andcomments that I've been getting,
(20:41):
so please keep them coming.
I'll leave you with the wisewords of author Robin Sharma
Greatness comes by doing a fewsmall and smart things each and
every day.
It comes from taking littlesteps consistently.
It comes from making a fewsmall chips against everything
in your professional andpersonal life that is ordinary,
(21:04):
so that a day eventually arriveswhen all that's left is the
extraordinary.
Thank you.
Welcome to Evoke Greatness.
We are officially entering yearthree of this podcast and I am
filled with so much gratitudefor each and every one of you
who've joined me on thisincredible journey of growth and
self-discovery.
I'm Sunny, your host and fellowtraveler on this path of
personal evolution.
This podcast is a sanctuary forthe curious, the ambitious and
(00:28):
the introspective.
It's for those of you who, likeme, are captivated by the
champion mindset and driven byan insatiable hunger for growth
and knowledge.
Whether you're just beginningyour journey or you're well
along your path, you're going tofind stories here that resonate
with your experiences andaspirations.
Over the last two years, we'veshared countless stories of
triumph and challenge, ofresilience and transformation.
(00:51):
We've laughed, we've reflectedand we've grown together.
And as we've evolved, so toohas this podcast.
Remember, no matter whatchapter you're on in your own
story, you belong here.
This community we've builttogether is a place of support,
inspiration and shared growth.
Where intention goes, energyflows, and the energy you bring
(01:13):
to this space elevates us all.
So, whether you're listeningwhile commuting, working out or
enjoying your morning coffee,perhaps from one of those
motivational mugs I'm so fond of, know that you're a part of
something special.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for your curiosity,your openness and your
commitment to personal growth.
As we embark on year three, Iinvite you to lean in, to listen
(01:36):
deeply and to let these storiesresonate with your soul.
I believe that a rising tideraises all ships and I invite
you along in this journey toevoke greatness.
(01:57):
Welcome back to part two of myepisode with Linda Ugalo.
In this episode she talks aboutthe real reason.
You're uncomfortable being seen, how cultural messages secretly
sabotage your speaking powerand why traditional manage your
anxiety advice actually keepsyou stuck.
Make sure to go back and listento last week's episode, which
(02:18):
was part one, where she talksabout the fear of visibility
often stems from pastexperiences.
True performance power comesfrom removing fear rather than
managing it.
I hope you enjoy part two, solet's go ahead and hop into it.
Yeah, one of my favorite thingsto do when speaking is to go
into the room.
That kind of used to be a fearfor me is when you're in that
(02:39):
room.
Then it's go time and my heartrate would start speeding up,
and so what I found myself doingis going to the room ahead of
time and kind of just standinggrounded in the room and taking
in the energy and justvisualizing the people's faces.
What are they there for, whatis their intention, how can I
serve them?
And that, for me personally,had me shift or reframe how I
(03:05):
was looking at the room that Iwas going into.
Originally it was this place ofnot maybe not fear, but
definite nervousness, and notthat I not that I still don't
have kind of my heart ratespeeds up a little bit, but it
is really truly out of like theability that I get the
opportunity to serve thesepeople, ability that I get the
opportunity to serve thesepeople and so it's different.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah, I mean, it's likely for us to have a little
bit of adrenaline rush whenwe're doing something new,
especially if we've never talkedabout that topic before or if
there's something new about itthat makes a lot of sense.
I love what you did.
I do that all the time.
I recommend that to all of myclients in my singing group,
since we always warmed up in thespace that we were going to
perform in.
We had that opportunity to doit.
As I'm doing vocalizes.
(03:53):
I'll be looking around the room, looking at the windows and the
ceiling and the seatingarrangements and imagining
people there and imagininglooking over to the left or over
to the right, and it definitelyprepaves Again.
It kind of makes more automatic.
You are already in relationshipto the space.
(04:16):
You are creating yourrelationship, Just like I was
describing creating arelationship to the lens.
You're creating a relationshipto the room.
You're creating a relationshipto the room, and we can do this
also even before we get into theroom, and I recommend this.
I have it in chapter two of mybook of mental rehearsal, where
you just imagine yourself inthis space, even though you
(04:38):
don't know what it may look likeyet, but you imagine it and you
do exactly what you did.
You imagine like seeing thepeople sitting around and maybe
they're smiling at you and yousee yourself moving just the way
you want to move and speakingthe way you want to speak and
feeling the way you want to feeland seeing the outcome at the
end and people smiling and howyou feel walking off the stage.
(05:00):
I mean, you can do this.
Oh, another thing that you canimagine is that the first words
that come out of your mouth,you're already in the groove.
This is something that a lot ofpeople who are seasoned
speakers they'll say well, I'mreally nervous for the first 10
minutes and then I get into thegroove.
Well then, we've got to imaginewhat does that groove feel like
(05:22):
and put that in before you geton so that you start off feeling
I'm here, I'm already in this,yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yeah, you've worked with people across different
industries and cultures.
What have you discovered around, what that universal fear is
about being seen and how do youhelp people move through these
fears versus just kind of on theoutskirts we're just going to
go around these.
How do they actually movethrough them?
Versus skating the outskirts ofthem?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Well, it's my deep belief that the fear of speaking
is not random.
It's always connected tosomething, so whether it's that
impacting past experience ormessages that we receive from
our culture and around the worldof course, cultures have
different messages that theygive in terms of if it's okay to
(06:15):
look at somebody in the eye, insome cultures you don't look
someone in the eye, you lookdown.
Or there's deference toauthority figures I mean, there
should be deference here too,but it's a little different and
or to older people, tograndparents, for instance.
But we'll adopt messages likechildren should be seen and not
(06:39):
heard, or don't stand out, or bea good kid, which means be
compliant, and all of these.
Silence is golden.
Or if you don't have anythingnice to say, don't say anything
at all.
Any of these things that, if weare trying to be good, we're
going to adopt and we don'trealize that we've taken them on
(07:02):
but they're no longer needed.
Because again, it's not like wegraduate and they say okay,
here are all the rules that youwere playing by before, but now
that you're an adult, you gotthis whole new set of rules and
so just drop that.
No, we just carry them with us.
And so there are three thingsthat we have to clear away to
(07:23):
overcome the fear of speakingthese past experiences, the
messages we received and the waywe're talking to ourselves,
because if you don't feel safeinside your own head, you're not
going to feel safe in front ofother people.
So I find, actually, that doingthose three things and
resolving and clearing thoseaway people feel hugely
different when they get out,either on stage or they're
(07:48):
leading a meeting or having aconversation wherever it is that
you feel uncomfortable.
Conversation wherever it isthat you feel uncomfortable,
that is usually enough to getover it.
However, there is more you cando, which we were just talking
about peak experience that youcan do in order to feel even
better, because it's not to me.
Speaking is our human design.
(08:08):
You know we're meant to be goodat speaking and we adopt.
We know that it's somethingthat we can get better at in our
interpersonal communication.
Obviously, we can get better atas a public speaker or giving
presentations, or stepping up atown hall meeting to share your
(08:33):
opinion on a new you know votethat they're taking there.
What I have realized mostrecently that it's funny that it
took me so long, since I'vebeen not only in a singing group
for 40 years, but I was takingvocal lessons for all those
years, every single week thatwhen we also reclaim not just
(08:57):
that we have a voice meaninglike we have something to say
but we actually reclaim ourspeaking voice as our instrument
, that changes everything forthe better, because we tend to
think okay, I learned how tospeak, I know how to speak.
I mean meaning, use my voiceand that's it.
Maybe I speak too fast or maybeI speak too quietly and maybe I
(09:23):
need to work on that.
But it goes even beyond that.
I feel like most of us are outof touch with the experience of
making sounds, with theexperience of producing our
words.
But when you think about it,it's amazing what we do.
We're moving our jaw, we'removing our tongue and using our
(09:43):
lips and we're shaping ourmouths for these different
vowels and they create soundsthat have meaning to you and me
and all these people who arelistening.
And not just that, but thereare all these languages around
the world that are different,that do the same thing.
It's pretty mysterious andamazing, and I would love to see
(10:04):
people begin to recognize andrealize what an amazing thing it
is that we have an actual voiceto speak with and to enjoy and
perhaps rediscover the pleasureof making sounds.
(10:24):
I mean, when you are makingsounds as I'm speaking, I'm
vibrating.
I can feel the vibration in mybody.
I feel the vibration, I feelthe hum in my throat.
It feels very nice, it feelspleasant and it feels good to
release my breath.
I mean, everyone likes to sighand exhale.
That's what we do when we speak.
(10:46):
We are actually speaking ourwords on the exhale.
So there's so many things toexplore in our voice and as we
do that, as we speak, it keepsus grounded inside ourselves, it
keeps us in the present momentand it allows us the possibility
of expressing ourselves with alot more dynamics and color and
(11:08):
interest, because we, as thewords come out, we are shaping
it with our volume and with ourtone and with our energy, and it
makes it so much more fun.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, many of our listeners are leaders and a lot
of their role is inspiringconfidence in their teams, while
sometimes dealing with theirown self-doubt, right, those own
things that are going around intheir own minds.
In the time when you're feelinga little heated or you're in
(11:45):
that situation where it feelslike, okay, I have to get out of
my own head and maybe be morepresent here.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yes, yes, this is a very important technique and
skill for us all to have and Irecommend that you practice this
, not in heated moments, but youpractice it daily, just as
you're listening to your kids oryour spouse or your colleagues,
when you're in conversationwith anyone.
I recommend doing a body scanJust notice your feet on the
floor, notice the position ofyour arms and legs, feel your
(12:24):
breath.
When you stay connected withyour body in this way, in a
somatic awareness, you actuallykeep your brain clear so you can
listen better.
What we often do is, whilesomeone's talking, we're
thinking, oh, what am I going tosay next?
(12:44):
But if you occupy your mindwith staying in your embodied,
then you actually keep your mindclear and you would be
surprised that you can hearbetter.
And even if you had somethingthat you could have said at one
point, but they kept on talkinglike I'm just keeping talking
now then you stay present withthem and then, if something
(13:07):
happens where there's a physicalor emotional response that
you're having, you will knowit's happening as it's happening
.
Like you'll say oh, I'm feelingmy blood pressure rising and
maybe I'll just like put youknow, feel my feet on the ground
, just take a breath, you know,sit back in my seat, let my body
(13:39):
be heavy, respond in a physicalway to the emotion or anxiety
or the hormonal release that'shappening as you're in
conversation.
But if you haven't practiced it, then it's much harder to do
when you're in the heat of themoment.
(13:59):
But if it's something that youregularly do, then you will be
equipped at that time.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yeah, completely agree.
It's almost like if you startto implement it into your
regular daily interactions andit can be subtle, right?
It can be you just kind ofchecking in with yourself in the
course of your workday, yourday at home, where you're like,
okay, here's where I am, here'show I'm feeling.
And if you start doing thatregularly, it becomes a little
(14:28):
bit more of a natural thing foryou to do, regardless of what
situation you're in.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And the same thing is going tohappen if you are someone who's
speaking in person, if you arepracticing staying embodied, and
if you practice stayingembodied while you're speaking
in a casual way, then you willbe able to take that awareness
with you into those higher stakemoments.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
The pandemic, I think , did some interesting things to
us.
It really transformed how wepresent ourselves with many
interactions because we moved alot to be online.
How do you think that shiftimpacted our relationship with
visibility and are there anyunique opportunities that you
(15:16):
see in this landscape where weare online a whole lot more
maybe than we had been pre?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
all of that, I do feel like there are a lot of
opportunities.
I mean, not many of us grew upthinking, oh, I want to be an
on-camera personality, but thepandemic kind of turned us all
into that right I feel like wecould utilize.
Now that we are online, we mayas well raise our aesthetic,
Aesthetic and artistic standardsa little bit.
(15:46):
So, for instance, like if youare a professional and you are
you want to make sure that howyou show up on camera, your face
is lit.
I mean number one, that we canangle the camera so that you
feel like you are sitting acrossfrom someone at the table
(16:07):
rather than your head like atthe way bottom.
We can lighting, sound framing,maybe having a background, like
right now I don't know how manypeople are going to be watching
and how many people arelistening, but behind me I have
kind of like a little setupthat's actually mobile and it's
a little place where I can stickmy book.
(16:28):
So even though I'm on camera,people can see my book.
That's a professional setting.
So, whether or not you work foryourself or you work in a
company, you may put in a littleenergy into creating a setting,
a nice setting for people tosee you in and it shows you as
the professional that you are.
You know, again, it depends onwhat your brand is and you know
(16:51):
what your.
You know who is your audience.
I once had a.
I had one client who workedwith moms of children who had
health issues and they werefrazzled and she was very
concerned with showing herselfwith her hair.
She said one of the things thatreally gets me is having to do
(17:14):
my hair and makeup.
I said why are you doing yourhair and makeup?
Your audience isn't doing theirhair and makeup.
They've got too much on theirplate.
They don't want to look at youand think, oh, marie has it all
together.
Look at her.
I can't possibly look as goodas her.
I said no, you've got to do it,for you know, be relatable to
your audience.
So, even though I'm talkingabout a professional background,
(17:36):
I mean, if it's relevant to youfor her it's probably was
better for her to just show upin her kitchen.
You know better for her to justshow up in her kitchen, you
know, with her hair unbrushedand a sweatshirt, because that
was what related to the peoplewho are following her.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, and relatability is everything right
.
If someone feels like theycan't quite like, the message
may resonate.
But even if they feel like theycan't relate to you and you're
the one with the message,there's going to be a sense of
separation there, and so I lovethat.
I love that that was the advice, because really guess what
People showing up to hear moreabout that, how much more at
home did they feel from themessage that they were receiving
(18:19):
from this person?
Because they felt like theywere looking in the mirror, and
that's that piece where wealmost like lean in and we get
drawn in more.
Well, as we wrap up, I have aquestion that I always love to
throw out, and that is if itwere your last day on earth and,
of all you've learned, youcould only give one piece of
(18:40):
advice or guidance to the world,what would that?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
be.
It would be to honor and acceptwhere you are in your journey,
because you can't be whereyou're not.
Beautiful advice.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Beautiful advice.
Well, Linda, I would love foryou to share where everyone can
find you follow, you get yourcontent, find out more about the
Accelerator program or yourbook, and I'll put all this in
show notes, but I would love foryou to share that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yes, come to my website, lindayugelowcom.
That's U-G-E-L-O-W.
You can download a free chapterfrom my book.
You can download the speakerpreparation checklist, which is
my recommendations beyond justpracticing what you want to say,
so that your voice and yourbody is open and ready to go and
(19:26):
your energy is focused and yourmind is in the right place.
I feel like I always go througha little checklist myself and
it makes life, so I don't forgetanything, because I want to
bring my best to my speaking.
So you can do that too, and interms of the accelerator, I
don't even have it up yet, butyou can always message me and
(19:50):
say hey, I want to find out moreabout this and we can talk
message me and say, hey, I wantto find out more about this and
we can talk.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Excellent.
Well, I appreciate you comingon and sharing your story and
your wisdom and insights withthe audience.
There's lots of gold nuggetshere, and so we will make sure
to have all of your contactinformation in the show notes so
that people can take in more.
Thanks so much.
Sunny take in more.
Thanks so much, sunny.
(20:19):
Thank you so much for listeningand for being here on this
journey with me.
I hope you'll stick around Ifyou liked this episode.
It would mean the world for meif you would rate and review the
podcast or share it withsomeone you know.
Many need to hear this message.
I love to hear from you all andwant you to know that you can
leave me a voicemail directly.
If you go to my website,evokegreatnesscom, and go to the
contact me tab, you'll just hitthe big old orange button and
record your message.
I love the feedback andcomments that I've been getting,
(20:41):
so please keep them coming.
I'll leave you with the wisewords of author Robin Sharma
Greatness comes by doing a fewsmall and smart things each and
every day.
It comes from taking littlesteps consistently.
It comes from making a fewsmall chips against everything
in your professional andpersonal life that is ordinary,
(21:04):
so that a day eventually arriveswhen all that's left is the
extraordinary.
Thank you.
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