Redefining Balance with Cherylanne Skolnicki

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to Evoke Greatness.
We are officially entering yearthree of this podcast and I am
filled with so much gratitudefor each and every one of you
who've joined me on thisincredible journey of growth and
self-discovery.
I'm Sunny, your host and fellowtraveler on this path of
personal evolution.
This podcast is a sanctuary forthe curious, the ambitious and

(00:28):
the introspective.
It's for those of you who, likeme, are captivated by the
champion mindset and driven byan insatiable hunger for growth
and knowledge.
Whether you're just beginningyour journey or you're well
along your path, you're going tofind stories here that resonate
with your experiences andaspirations.
Over the last two years, we'veshared countless stories of
triumph and challenge, ofresilience and transformation.

(00:51):
We've laughed, we've reflectedand we've grown together.
And as we've evolved, so toohas this podcast.
Remember, no matter whatchapter you're on in your own
story, you belong here.
This community we've builttogether is a place of support,
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Where intention goes, energyflows, and the energy you bring

(01:13):
to this space elevates us all.
So, whether you're listeningwhile commuting, working out or
enjoying your morning coffee,perhaps from one of those
motivational mugs I'm so fond of, know that you're a part of
something special.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for your curiosity,your openness and your
commitment to personal growth.
As we embark on year three, Iinvite you to lean in, to listen

(01:36):
deeply and to let these storiesresonate with your soul.
I believe that a rising tideraises all ships and I invite
you along in this journey toevoke greatness.

(01:57):
Welcome back to another episodeof Evoke Greatness.
Today, we're joined by a truebeacon of brilliance in the
realm of personal andprofessional development.
Please welcome Cheryl AnnSkolnicki, the founder of the
Brilliant Balance Company andhost of the top-rated Brilliant
Balance podcast.
Sherrilyn is a respectedauthority on well-being,
work-life balance and unlockinghuman potential.
With her Ivy League educationand 15 years experience at

(02:20):
Procter Gamble, she climbed thecorporate ladder before forging
her own path as a successfulentrepreneur.
As a trusted advisor tothousands of growth-oriented
women and corporate leaders,sherilyn has become a voice of
reason and a force for good inour often chaotic world.
Her wisdom has reached millionsthrough her podcast, social
media channels, as well asfeatures on major networks.

(02:42):
Sherilynne's unique perspectiveon breaking the supermom myth,
avoiding burnout and livinglighter by shedding the weight
of expectations has earned hernumerous accolades, including
being named one of Cincinnati's100 Wise Women.
Get ready to be inspired andempowered as we dive into a
conversation with a woman whotruly embodies what it means to
evoke greatness Sherilyn welcome.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Oh, that was a lovely introduction.
Thank you so much, oh you areso very welcome.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
I am excited to have you on, to be going through so
many areas of your expertise andinsight as we jump into it.
I would love to just start outby diving into some of your
backstory.
You made this transition fromcorporate executive to
entrepreneur.
What was that journey like, andwas there like a pivotal moment
for you along the way where yourealized you wanted to kind of

(03:31):
go about forging your own paththere?

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah.
So I think that I always say Iwas like the surprising entry
into the entrepreneurship pond Ireally was.
The role I was born to play wasprobably corporate executive,
and that is where my careerstarted.
I was dutifully climbing acorporate ladder and I was on it
for 15 years before I reallyfelt the nudge to do something

(03:55):
quite different and I did notknow that this is the business I
was going to start.
I just knew that it was time tostart something.
So famously inside of ourcommunity I've shared the story
that I at one point literallycontemplated starting like an
artisan bakery because I wantedthis retraction from a life that

(04:17):
had become so big and globaland digital and I just wanted to
do something that made peoplehappy and digital.
And I just wanted to dosomething that made people happy
.
And I discarded that ideafairly quickly and started my
first business in the health andwellness space.
It was like I refer to it as mystarter business.
I did it for about five yearsand kind of figured out what it
meant to be an entrepreneur, tobuild a team, to put some

(04:40):
systems in place.
And then I had another pivotwhich led to what is now
Brilliant Balance.
So Brilliant Balance has nowbeen in something close to its
current incarnation for about 10years.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
So the concept of Brilliant Balance is really
central to your work.
Let's peel back a little bitand kind of go a little deeper
on.
How do you define that?
How has your understanding ofbalance evolved over the years?

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, tremendously.
I mean, I think I came of agein the generation where, you
know, we were presented withthis image of work-life balance.
That was a scale, you know, thesort of the old school scale,
with two sides and your work wason one side and the rest of
your life was on the other, andyour goal was to keep them at

(05:30):
exactly the same level.
And that was never really goingto work for anybody, and we all
knew it, but it was the onlymodel that the word balance
really evoked.
I think my first evolution indefining balance was to think of
a much more dynamic metaphor,and I always thought about a
ballerina, like a reallypowerful ballerina, like Misty
Copeland, who, you know, whenthey dance across the stage,

(05:51):
they have to stay in balance inorder not to fall over, but
there's this strength and gracethat is necessary to be able to
stay, to remain in balance, evenwhile you're in motion, right,
and that became a metaphor that,I think, carried me through the
early days of Brilliant Balance.
It made a lot of sense to me asa young mother with three

(06:12):
children and a growing business,and these days I think it's
evolved again.
Well, there's probably one moreevolution along the way where I
thought of it as the balancebetween what we have to do and
what we want to do, and I thinkwhen we really ask women, maybe
even men, what does a balancedlife look like?

(06:34):
It's where there is a good mixof I'm able to do the things I
have to do, but I have time todo the things I want to do as
well, regardless of what bucketthey fall into.
And that has led to what Iwould say is my current
definition of balance.
I'm one of those people who Ifully give myself permission for
my thinking to evolve right, soit is no problem for me to have

(06:54):
had this definition change abunch over the years.
These days I would say it's abig, full life with the freedom
to enjoy it, and so a you know,a balanced life to me is just
that it's not small, it's nottight, it's not stripped down,
it's like it's big and full, butthere's also freedom to be able

(07:15):
to enjoy the things that we'veadded to that life with purpose,
and that's kind of my currentworking definition.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
I love the fact that you brought up giving yourself
permission to allow thosedefinitions to evolve.
I think sometimes we think ifwe define it one time, we have
to stick to that.
We can't, you know, we can't goaway from that.
We can't evolve.
But I think that is really aswe grow and we learn more and we
experience more.
That's the whole idea.
Right Is that we're in aconstant evolution, and so I

(07:45):
love that your definition has sobeautifully evolved with you,
because I think there are somany probably the listeners who
have this idea that they want tohave it all.
Right.
Do you think that's attainable?
Right, We'll start there, andthen how?
do you help women refrain thisconcept to something that's more

(08:05):
achievable and fulfilling?

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yes, it's such an important question because I
think if we're really beinghonest, you can tell me, I mean,
do you still want to have itall?
I do, I mean.
That's still a very appealingconcept to me.
I was sold that concept as ayoung woman and told I could in

(08:28):
fact, have it all, and thatsounded great to me.
What I think it really means,and where we need a bit of a
redefinition of having it all,is it's having whatever you want
.
Yes, right.
So our collection of what wewant is still often pretty
standard.
I mean, if I surveyed athousand women, the answers to

(08:52):
what they want are still goingto have a lot of overlap.
That we're not hiding right thecollection of kind of goodies
that we want to have, but thenuance of them is really
different from person to person.
So lots of us may say, well, Iwant to have a career and I want
to have a family and I want totake great care of myself and I
want to travel and I want tohave money.

(09:12):
Okay, great.
But the specifics of that arereally unique to each of us and
the way, the amount of time wewant to invest in each of those
things, the activities that areimportant to us, inherent in
each of those roles, are verydifferent, and so I think being
able to define having it all forus in a way that protects for

(09:34):
the nuance within each of thoseroles is that's really the
answer.
And it's hard work becausewe're so prone to compare
ourselves to the way otherpeople do it, and when we see
that, we pick it up as anexpectation right, and so we
kind of go through our lifepicking up expectations and

(09:55):
adding them to what becomes apretty long list of rules we're
following for how we're going togo about managing all this.
You know, stuff that we'veacquired, so that has to shift
if we want to have the freedomthat I was talking about earlier
.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, it makes me think back to the beginning of
my career very ambitious, verydriven, had this great
opportunity to jump into a bigrole and fortunately, my husband
was supportive of that and waslike go get it, go after it.
That led me to.
I refer to balance, as I don'tknow if you remember those toys

(10:30):
that are like it's the oil andwater and they kind of move and
they slosh around.
That's what balance to me hasreally seemed like, because
sometimes, oftentimes early inmy career, I was leaning so
heavily towards my career I'mtouching my nose to the ground,
leaning so heavily, but I alsowasn't really cognizant or

(10:51):
taking care of that other sidebecause I was so focused on this
.
Now, today, my balance looksvery, very different because I
too, my definition of balancehas drastically changed.
I think, paired with gettingcrystal clear on your
non-negotiables of what you'rewilling to do and what you're
unwilling to do, I think thatchanges along our career, along

(11:12):
our life as women, and I feellike taking those things and
kind of molding them together,that's really how we get our own
personal definition of balanceand what that means to us, and
it's going to change based onseasons and times in our life
and I think that's okay.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, I think what I love about your oil and water
toy example is it inherentlyimplies fluidity.
And when you were saying, likewhat is important to you now has
changed Sometimes, I think itchanges week to week and month
to month.
That's non-negotiable, so wedon't even have to set those
pins so tightly.
The rigidity really is ourenemy and our ability to

(11:53):
recognize this will be a fairlyfluid process and we will have
to pay attention to when thingshave shifted so we don't miss
that inflection point and thenwe can make the adjustment right
.
Kind of back to the ballerinastaying in balance idea.
They work together.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, absolutely.
You talk a lot about this supermom myth.
Let's talk a little bit.
Let's dive deeper into that.
Let's talk about that.
And what does that myth entail,and why is it so detrimental to
women's wellbeing?

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, I think you know whether being yeah, I think
you know whether we call itsuper mom or even super woman.
I think the mythology aroundwomen is that perfection is the
expectation that we have pickedup for ourselves, and nothing
has embodied this better in thelast decade than the monologue
in the Barbie movie.
I mean, I think it's why itwent viral.
It deserved to go viral.

(12:42):
It so beautifully articulatedthis razor-thin line of
expectations that we are alltrying to walk, and the
collective pain that wasexperienced when we heard that
reflected back to us in thosetheaters, I think was not
accidental, right, it wasdesigned to kind of give us that

(13:03):
collective moment of reflection.
And until we hit that moment ofsaying this, these expectations
of being great but not toogreat, right Across all of the
factors is is just fundamentallyexhausting.
So the mythology around that,of course, is that it's possible
, that it is, that it ispossible to be like, perfectly

(13:23):
honed in every aspect of ourlives.
And the truth is we do haveshining moments where we hit
that in all of those facetsright.
There's days where I walk outof the house like I look great
today, and there's days where Ilook at what I did with my kids,
and I want to high five myhusband and be like, look at us
killing the game.
But there are also days whereI'm not proud of a parenting

(13:46):
moment or where, you know, Idon't have it pulled together to
leave the house.
So, finding the self-compassion, maybe to acknowledge that, yes
, we should strive for thosemoments when we hit it out of
the park and celebrate them andnot hide them right.
We don't want to be apologeticabout when we're successful, but

(14:06):
also having some compassionwhen we're not.
That that is part of the humanexperience.
I think moms and women deservereally to be human and sometimes
that's what we don't giveourselves permission to be.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah, and have grace around that.
I think it was yesterday had atext exchange with another mom
and her kiddo had come andstayed with us for the night and
they had had a bit of adisagreement, and so it's one of
those things that immediatelymy heart went to.
Number one I want to know sheknows where he is and that he's

(14:39):
safe.
Number two I don't want her tofeel like we're judging this
situation, because I've beenthere many times myself and so I
just shot a little message andwas like hey, just want you to
know safe or good, just want tomake sure you knew.
And she said, yep, I did.
And a day later she sent me amessage and she just said I want

(15:07):
you to know how much Iappreciate you just being
willing to care for others' kids.
You know, in a way that, like Ijust don't experience a lot of
moms that aren't non-judgy and Ithought, oh gosh, that is
sometimes the society that wehave created.
And I think back to when I firststarted my career and I was on
the road a lot and my husbandwas doing it all, but I still
wanted to kind of appear as thatgreat mom Nowadays and I shared
this with the person I wasexchanging text messages with.

(15:29):
I said what I want you to knowis number one this is a
judgment-free zone, sister,because I have been there and
done that I said.
But second of all, there aremany days when I feel like I'm
absolutely failing at this momthing and maybe that's maybe I
don't share that enough, becausewe're all there and oftentimes
when we're in that space, itfeels so lonely, it feels like

(15:52):
we're the only one experiencingit and that's very isolating.
And so, as much as we want tokind of put our best foot
forward, I also think it'simportant to share some of those
flubs that we have becausewe're human and thankfully God's
grace reminds have becausewe're human and thankfully God's
grace reminds us that you'rehuman, you're going to make the
mistakes.
But as much as I have gracewith you, have grace with others

(16:13):
.
And it was like this perfectmoment to just remind her and to
remind myself that like heylook, we've all been there,
we've all done that, and likelet's walk arms and have grace
with each other.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yes, yeah, and I think I do think that this is
happening more in thisgeneration of women, maybe.
Thank you, brene Brown, right,I think there was.
I think her work hasinfiltrated, right just the
culture where women of thisgeneration are saying, listen,

(16:46):
shame cannot survive the light,right?
So if I know somebody else hasbeen in that situation, then I
just feel better about my ownhumanity.
I'm not sure our mothers hadthat benefit.
You know, when I look at thelevel of performance that was
required and how quietly peoplewere holding in anything that
was less than perfect in theirown home, right, this doesn't

(17:08):
ever have to leave these walls.
We don't need anyone else toknow that this happened.
That culture of like secrecyreally did just perpetuate the
mythology of perfection, andthen we stepped into that as
like oh well, apparently we'reall supposed to be able to
appear perfect.
So I like that.
I'm starting to see those wallsget broken down.
I think it's very important tohave trusted circles where you

(17:28):
can share those stories and givepeople the opportunity to know
that they're not alone, right,that everyone is trying to
figure it out, right as we go.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Right, yeah, nobody has it totally figured out, and
that's the beauty of it, and Ithink oftentimes that's why we
have to go through the teenageyears with our kids.
It's a humbling reminder thatyou don't have it all figured
out, indeed, yes, well, as wethink about just the busyness of
the world.
Right, we have a world thatglorifies busyness, and how do

(18:00):
we go about giving ourselvespermission to prioritize that
self-care and pouring in to makesure our cups are full, without
the guilt of feeling like we'retaking attention off everyone
else and putting it on ourselves?

Speaker 2 (18:15):
Well, my answer to this is unpopular, which is that
I don't think we're going toget rid of the guilt.
I think we have to feel theguilt and do it anyway.
We're so wired to experiencesome of these core emotions, and
guilt is one of them.
We talked about judgment fiveminutes ago.
We are going to experiencethese emotions.

(18:39):
If we allow them to paralyze usand we don't take the actions
that we really want to takebecause of them, we won't get
what's on the other side right.
So I think that just take yourexample of if we want to resist
the culture of being busy inservice to others at the expense

(18:59):
of doing some things that wegenuinely want to do, that we
like that make us feel healthyand whole and human, we're going
to have to learn to toleratethe little side dish of guilt
that comes with it until ourbrain gets the memo that there's
actually no one beinginconvenienced by us taking that
time for ourselves right.
Exercise is the classic examplehere.

(19:20):
I mean this.
I have the data on.
When you ask women if you hadmore time, what would you do?
The number one thing they willtell you is I would exercise in
some way, shape or form.
Why?
Well, partly because they thinkthey're supposed to say that
and partly because they knowthey feel better and they do
right.
They can look back to a time intheir life when they were more

(19:41):
consistent about some kind ofexercise routine and they know
they feel great.
So when we can give ourselvesthe permission to say I'm going
to hardwire this habit into mylife and just acknowledge that,
not only will I benefit, but sowill everyone around me.
When I am more emotionallyregulated, I am happier, I am
more engaged with them becauseI've had some time for me, then

(20:05):
it's easier, becomes easier overtime to allocate time to those
activities.
And it's not always exercise.
It's a great gateway drugbecause we can justify it, as I
should be doing it anyhow but itopens up the pathway to reading
, it opens up the pathway togardening, it opens up the
pathway to cooking and all theother things that we've
forgotten, that we love, right?

(20:27):
So you know, find somethingmaybe, and then let it be a path
to other things.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yeah, I like what you said about and you're right, it
probably is the unpopularopinion, but I like what you
said about feeling it, sittingwith that feeling right and
still moving forward, but sitwith that feeling.
So I think so many times again,brene Brown, honor those
feelings that you're having andsit with them.
Honor them even if they're not.

(20:53):
You know, even sometimes theshame, the guilt, like, sit with
that.
Is that serving you?
Is it honoring you to proceedthrough that and then keep going
right?
But I think sometimes we justwant to skip over it or push it
down and that doesn't serve usvery well either.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
Quite the opposite, right yeah, then we have all
kinds of bad behaviors thatwe'll engage in just to try not
to feel those feelings.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Right.
Well, I think, going from thekind of fast-paced busyness I
think sometimes that is aone-way route to burnout.
Because we have such afast-paced society, what are
some of those early warningsigns of burnout that people
often overlook?
What should they pause on whenthey're starting to see some of

(21:36):
these things come to the surface?

Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah, Burnout is such an epidemic.
I think we're using the termmaybe to describe the early
stages, which is the only thinghelpful about it is we'll start
to notice them sooner.
The word I hone in on for earlystage burnout is apathy, right,
when you are just feelingdisinterested about things that

(21:59):
used to excite you.
It could be projects at work,it could be things to do at home
.
If you're just looking ateverything on your list and
you're like I don't want to doany of this, Like there's
nothing here that is grabbing atme, that is the sign that you
are headed toward burnout.
It's different than overwhelm,right.
Overwhelm is typically I don'tknow where to start.

(22:22):
I could do any of these things.
There are so very many of thembut the energy is kind of has
like an agitation in overwhelm,where we can spend a lot of time
rearranging our to-do list andnot doing it.
But we could do any one ofthose things right.
Burnout is like you could linethis up for me perfectly, give

(22:42):
me the space to do it, and Istill don't want to do it
because I'm literally.
My body and brain are likeshutting down out of exhaustion,
and so that's usually the keysignal for me that I'm looking
for.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
And as you think about progressing through all
those things, I think so much isencompassed in this side of
human potential, and potentialcan be a very fleeting thing, I
guess.
I mean.
So someone can grab a hold ofpotential and they can really do
something phenomenal with it,and someone can identify
potential but maybe never doanything with it.
Becoming a successfulentrepreneur and thought leader

(23:16):
how has that changed yourperspective on human potential
and what people actually grab ahold of?

Speaker 2 (23:20):
You know, potential is one of those words that just
I'm such a words girl Like I ama total word nerd know.
Potential is one of those wordsthat just I'm such a words girl
Like I am a total word nerd.
Potential is one of those wordsthat I just adore.
I also love the wordpossibilities.
I think they're related.
The notion of what could beright I think that there are.
Virtually everyone can have avision of what could be, but I

(23:45):
think the people who are reallystretching to fulfill their
potential are, like, frustratedby the gap between what is and
what could be.
So they're always going to pushthat line out further and sort
of attempt to close it.
And every attempt to close itbrings us closer to realizing
our own potential, like what weactually could do.
By the way, I think there arepeople on the other side of that

(24:11):
who are content, andcontentment is a great word.
It's just often at odds withfulfilling our potential.
Right, if we can be content.
So I like to look at itultimately as something that we
sort of cycle through periods ofcontentment followed by periods
of like divine discontent wherewe're you know, we're sort of
reaching for what's next.
So you asked the questionspecifically about what's the

(24:32):
difference that kind of getspeople to take the action or not
take the action.
And I wonder if it's somethingabout being willing to be
imperfect, like we can getparalyzed in not taking action
because we're just not surewe're gonna get it right or
there's so much fear of failureor fear of judgment right or
guilt associated with it.

(24:54):
But if we can really connect toimperfect action and that's
that pathway that allows us tokeep moving forward ultimately
toward our potential, so westand a much greater chance of
I'm not sure we'll ever trulyfulfill our potential.
I think it is the definition oflike the infinite game, but
that we'll step a lot closer.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Ed Milet has a term that I have very first time I
heard it, I've really held on toit, and that is he is all about
being blissfully dissatisfied.
I'm like, oh, I like that.
It's just this unwillingness tostop at satisfaction or
contentment, and again, whichcontentment isn't a bad thing
and some people, to be contentcan be a good space.

(25:35):
But for those who, to yourpoint, get wrapped up in the I
can't take this next step ifit's not right, those are the
ones that get that, thatparalyzation, yeah From and
their inability to be able toprogress forward versus I'm
going to take this next messyaction, messy step and I'm going

(25:55):
to do it anyway, and then therewill be lessons along the way
and people being able to reallyembrace that piece to propel
themselves forward.
Yes, many of our listeners tryto balance that sense of career
ambition and that sense ofpersonal life right.
What's your advice formaintaining healthy
relationships while pursuingprofessional goals?

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Well, this is just everything, isn't it?
I think we are so made to be incommunity with other people and
in very close relationship witha tight circle of people, and
it is so often the collateraldamage in the life of the high
achiever right.
Our relationships are often thecollateral damage, like our

(26:38):
pursuit of more can cause us toignore or damage those
relationships.
There's a phrase that is sosimple, it rhymes right.
It's a little cheesy even, butthe idea of connection over
perfection has been reallyhelpful for me personally, the
idea that those relationshipshave to be the driver.

(27:01):
And whenever I notice my desirefor things to be just right or
to be more getting in the way ofmy ability to have connection,
that's where I really want tocheck myself.
So I'll give you an example, ifI'm you know, I was.
My mom turned 80 last year andwe had people over to celebrate

(27:23):
who traveled in for it.
And my son, who's a teenagerand is a really great cook, was
there helping me with stuff, andhe's really talented in the
kitchen and absolutely couldhave pulled this off on his own,
but of course I'm micromanagingthe size of that.
He should cut this pepper sothat it can go on this plate at
the right way.
And at some point he justlooked at me like as teenage

(27:45):
boys do, like you got to bekidding me, right?
Do you want me in on this ornot?
And it was such a reminder oflike.
It's a small example, but I havea thousand of those every day
where my intentions are pureright.
I want a better outcome.
I'm going to just give you thislittle piece of advice that's
going to go so much better, butreally what I wanted was that

(28:06):
connected moment with him wherehe was a part of his
grandmother's celebration andpeople could celebrate his
talent and what he could bringto the party, right.
So I had to really step backand be like it doesn't matter
how you do it, do it your wayand it'll be great.
And I really try to.
I am not perfect at this, butit's something that I really try
to look at, because thatrelationship matters more to me

(28:29):
than the outcome of thatparticular instance.
And you know, for anyone who'sprone to perfectionism, I think
you'll you'll just see thousandsof examples of this as you move
through your day.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Right.
But I think, being able to havethe discernment in maybe not in
that very moment, right towhere you Ideally in the moment
yeah, yeah, ideally in themoment but even having the
discernment to say, oh, in mynext engagement where I'm
conscious that I'm trying tokind of manage the situation, I
too I refer to myself as acontrol enthusiast.
My husband refers to it assomething different, but I'm

(29:02):
like I really like to, I'menthusiastic about that control,
which can get very much in theway as well, but I think the
discernment of okay, recognizingit in the moment and then like
I need to be conscious of thisin the next engagement, where I
value the relationship overneeding to outcome.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
That's the thing is people who I say I like, control
a whole bunch, so we all findthese cute ways to use our
behavior.
I think anyone who'sover-controlled, who knows that
that's kind of the cluster thatthey live in, knows that what we
care about are outcomes.
We've been rewarded fordelivering great outcomes, right
, we're excellence oriented, andit's really learning to ride

(29:43):
that balance between does itneed to be that excellent or do
I want to have an experiencewith this person?
Do I want to be in relationshipwith this person?
And that's what your questionreally struck a chord with me
about.
What do we do about theserelationships along the way?
Because when we're dealingparticularly with ambitious
women, it does tend to correlatewith this kind of

(30:03):
over-controlled person, becausethat's what's gotten us those
results often early in our lives.
And yet learning to releasesome of that control is kind of
the thing that catapults us evenfurther, kind of in the back
half, and so it's an evolution,right.
It's a new skill set that wehave to develop.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yeah, and even just talking through this, it almost
reminds me of the other end ofthe spectrum, which is
oftentimes when you are startingto do something different and
you're having career growth.
There may be relationships thatno longer serve you, that
sometimes we fear letting go of,and I think a lot of people
hold on to those relationships.
That it's okay and people needto learn to give themselves

(30:43):
permission to outgrow people.
It doesn't mean that friendship, that relationship, the
whatever has to end badly.
It just needs to be thedecision around the fact that
sometimes people are in yourlife for a season and you
actually outgrow them and that'sokay.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
I agree completely, and those are painful when they
happen and sometimes hard toidentify.
Sometimes they're right infront of your face and we're
just afraid to let go.
But creating space like none ofus can maintain relationships
with hundreds of people, right,despite what social media would
tell us we just can't right wecan have close relationships

(31:20):
with a small handful of people,and really being protective of
who is in that circle isimportant, right, because the
environment we put ourselves in,who we surround ourselves with,
does start to dictate whatexpectations we have of
ourselves, what we think ispossible, right, what we
normalize, and so that kind ofinner ring is tight.
The next ring out where you'rekind of in the dozens of people

(31:43):
that you're doing life with,equally important, right,
because they're influencing yourbeliefs around what's possible
and what is normalized.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Right, right.
Well, I'm a big proponent ofwomen thinking, forecasting
futuristically for themselves.
I think so often we want tothink about everybody else and
sometimes we don't put ourselvesbehind that lens to say what
does the future look like for me?
So what do you think is thebiggest challenge facing women

(32:14):
in the next handful of years, inthe next decade, and how can
they prepare for that?

Speaker 2 (32:19):
This is such a good question.
I think this is the evolutionto leadership in every sense of
the word.
I think we, you know, go backto our conversation about having
it all.
It's almost like thisgeneration of women is are still
trying to prove that we deserveit by outworking it, like

(32:42):
there's this high hustle ofdoing everything ourselves to
prove that like we can handle it.
And I think if we reallyreframe this as a call to
leadership leadership at work,leadership at home, leadership
in our communities it really isthe invitation to get results
through others right, bybuilding movements behind us,

(33:03):
organizations behind us, bylearning how to let go the
conversation we were havingabout control, by learning how
to modulate our relationshipwith guilt, the way we were
talking about earlier in theinterview all of those things
are going to be pulling at usback toward doing every single
thing ourselves and we won'thave the impact that we can have

(33:24):
unless we are able to learn toreally be true leaders right.
So the practices of leadershipare, we can recite them Some of
us studied them in school but togive ourselves permission to
actually execute them in allaspects of our lives, I think
that's the inflection point Isee us standing at and when we
get that, I think we reallystart to amplify our impact.

(33:46):
So that's the direction thatI'm excited to be a part of and
that I see people doing so whenI say leadership at home, if you
think about all the movementsyou see around lightening the
motherlode, fair play, the kindof division of labor at home,
they're all nestled under that.
They are calls to leadership tosay this should not all be our
work.
How can we execute smallorganizations whether they're

(34:10):
like the family members livingunder our own roof or people
that we hire or communityorganizations that can support
us, like there's an elevation toleadership that I think is
really happening.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Well, and a lot of this leads to something that
you're doing, that you have puton through your business, which
is the bold experience.
Talk a little bit about thatand kind of that sense of
coaching and connection andcommunity that you've built, and
how can people take advantageof that?
What do you want them to knowabout it?

Speaker 2 (34:36):
So, the bold experience is really the
culmination of my professionalwork so far.
So again, 15 years ago, when Istarted this chapter as an
entrepreneur, I don't know thatI could have foreseen that it
would have led here, and yetwhen you stand here and look
backwards, it all makes sense,right.
So what I'm leading today is acollective of women who come

(34:59):
into a renewable year-longexperience.
The experience has fivemodalities in it.
So we are doing coaching, wehave them in community with each
other.
We take them on retreats, right.
They're involved in amastermind experience where
they're peer coaching oneanother.
I mean, there's a level ofcontent available to them to
support the transformations thatthey're trying to make.

(35:20):
So it's you know it's more thana membership, but it really is a
comprehensive experience thatthey have that unfolds over the
you know again sometimes amulti-year experience, and it's
designed for women who havereached a level of complexity in
their lives, through the workthat they're asked to do and the
lives that they've built athome, that it really has become

(35:44):
lonely.
It's kind of the it's lonely atthe top idea.
They're looking around in theirneighborhood, they're looking
around in their workplace andthey're like there's not a lot
of people like me doing what I'mdoing and so it's hard to get
the relatability to some of theproblems they're trying to solve
and I do think that wordcomplexity is important.
It's like it's ratcheted up toa level where the tools and the

(36:10):
behaviors and the practices thatgot them to this point in their
life just aren't going to getthem to the next place.
So they have like a low-gradeawareness of that but they're
not sure what to do about ittypically when we meet them.
Low-grade awareness of that butthey're not sure what to do
about it typically when we meetthem.
And getting into thisexperience where they're able to
really put me as an advisor intheir corner and bring my team
in to support them and then bewith other women who are at a

(36:31):
similar life stage, reallyunlocks something where they're
able to make bold moves right Todo something that's going to
put an imprint on the world thatthey just didn't think was
possible because their time wasso eaten up doing every single
little thing themselves until wecrossed paths.
So I'm super delighted by thework I get to do with them.

(36:52):
I actually just got off a callwith that group before this
interview and it's so deeplyenergizing to be around women
who are really committed tofiguring out how they're going
to have the impact they mean tohave.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
What a beautiful experience and the opportunity
to be a part of something likethat and create that sense of
community.
That's really, really important.
As we wrap up, I would love foryou to share number one where
can people find you, find yourcontent, and then where can they
go and we'll put all this inthe show notes, but where can
they go to find out more aboutthis bold experience?

Speaker 2 (37:26):
Okay, Well, it's super easy because if they go to
the website, which isbrilliant-balancecom got to have
the dash in there or you justGoogle Sherrilyn Brilliant
Balance, you'll find this.
It's pretty easy from there.
There is a page, of course,unique to the Bold Experience.
The website itself can get youto the podcast, to free content,
and downloads all the archivesof my podcast, which I think

(37:49):
we're like 370 episodes in orsomething.
So there's lots of that to digthrough and, yeah, like a
playground of resources there,awesome Well, I highly encourage
everyone to take advantage ofit.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Sherilyn, thank you so much for your time coming on,
just sharing your insights andyour experience and putting on
something so needed within theworld amongst women, and
oftentimes it can feel alone,and so creating that community
really drives something forwomen to continue going on to
become their best selves.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Well, thank you for having me and for so generously
sharing my work with yourlisteners.
I really just you have hadgreat questions and it's been so
fun to have this conversationwith you.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Thank you so much for listening and for being here on
this journey with me.
I hope you'll stick around Ifyou liked this episode.
It would mean the world for meif you would rate and review the
podcast or share it withsomeone you know.
Many need to hear this message.
I love to hear from you all andwant you to know that you can
leave me a voicemail directly.
If you go to my website,evokegreatnesscom, and go to the
contact me tab, you'll just hitthe big old orange button and

(38:57):
record your message.
I love the feedback andcomments that I've been getting,
so please keep them coming.
I'll leave you with the wisewords of author Robin Sharma
Greatness comes by doing a fewsmall and smart things each and
every day.
It comes from taking littlesteps consistently.
It comes from making a fewsmall chips against everything

(39:19):
in your professional andpersonal life that is ordinary,
so that a day eventually arriveswhen all that's left is the
extraordinary.

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