June 17, 2025 • 32 mins
🎧 Episode 168: Stop Micromanaging, Start Leading: Your Guide to Building a Team You Trust with Ashley Cox (Part 1)
In this episode, I sit down with Ashley Cox, founder of the Empowered Leader Experience, to unpack why so many women founders and executives feel trapped running their businesses instead of leading them. Ashley shares her own evolution from overworked “worker bee” to empowered mentor and reveals the hard truths and practical solutions that help ambitious women escape burnout, build thriving teams, and reclaim their vision.
We explore:
- The myth of “doing it all” and why it keeps leaders stuck in overwhelm
- How self-awareness and ego-checks are the non-negotiable starting points for growth
- The damaging leadership advice women are told (“Be tougher, be less emotional…”) and what actually works
- Why your team’s problems are often a mirror of your own leadership
- The control vs. growth paradox: Why you have to let go to level up
- Delegation 101: How to empower your team without handing over the keys to the kingdom
- Building a culture where people feel seen, valued, and inspired to go above and beyond
- Practical ways to stretch into letting go (without watching everything fall apart)
🔑 Key takeaways:
- When you let go of ego and listen to feedback, you unlock real leadership potential.
- Your team’s performance is a direct reflection of your leadership approach.
- Empathy and vulnerability are strengths, not weaknesses—in fact, they’re how you build high-performing, loyal teams.
- Effective delegation is about giving others a chance to grow, not abdicating responsibility.
- When leaders do the hard work of self-awareness, everyone wins: the business, the team, and the leader.
đź’ˇ Quotes to remember:
"If your team isn’t doing what you want them to do, it’s a mirror of your leadership."
 "Leadership is one of the most vulnerable experiences you’ll ever have—but that’s where greatness is born."
 "You don’t have to give away the keys to the kingdom to get the help you need."
Final wisdom:
Stepping back and letting go isn’t just good for your sanity, it’s the key to real growth, for you and everyone you lead.
đź“š Resources mentioned:
- Ashley Cox’s Empowered Leader Experience: https://ashleycox.co/
- Connect with Ashley on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashley-cox-phr-shrm-cp-30565017/
A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to Evoke Greatness.
We are officially entering yearthree of this podcast and I am
filled with so much gratitudefor each and every one of you
who've joined me on thisincredible journey of growth and
self-discovery.
I'm Sunny, your host and fellowtraveler on this path of
personal evolution.
This podcast is a sanctuary forthe curious, the ambitious and
(00:28):
the introspective.
It's for those of you who, likeme, are captivated by the
champion mindset and driven byan insatiable hunger for growth
and knowledge.
Whether you're just beginningyour journey or you're well
along your path, you're going tofind stories here that resonate
with your experiences andaspirations.
Over the last two years, we'veshared countless stories of
triumph and challenge, ofresilience and transformation.
(00:51):
We've laughed, we've reflectedand we've grown together.
And as we've evolved, so toohas this podcast.
Remember, no matter whatchapter you're on in your own
story, you belong here.
This community we've builttogether is a place of support,
inspiration and shared growth.
Where intention goes, energyflows, and the energy you bring
(01:13):
to this space elevates us all.
So, whether you're listeningwhile commuting, working out or
enjoying your morning coffee,perhaps from one of those
motivational mugs I'm so fond of, know that you're a part of
something special.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for your curiosity,your openness and your
commitment to personal growth.
As we embark on year three, Iinvite you to lean in, to listen
(01:36):
deeply and to let these storiesresonate with your soul.
I believe that a rising tideraises all ships, and I invite
you along in this journey toevoke greatness.
Are you the bottleneck in yourown business and you don't even
(01:59):
realize it?
This episode is going tochallenge everything you think
you know about leadership,control and building a team that
thrives.
If you're tired of feelingstuck, overwhelmed or like
you're the only one holding ittogether, this is your
invitation to step back.
Let go and lead with courageand clarity.
In this episode, my guest,ashley Cox, brings the truth
(02:21):
about why doing it all isactually a trap, why ego gets
leaders stuck and the surprisingsecret to unlocking growth.
Hint, it's not about workingharder.
So tune in to find out how tobreak the old cycle, delegate
with confidence and create theculture you've always wanted for
your business and for yourself.
(02:42):
Welcome back to another episodeof About Greatness, where we
uncover the wisdom and storiesof remarkable individuals making
a genuine impact in the world.
Today, we have someoneextraordinary joining us, a
leader who's cracking the codeon one of entrepreneurship's
biggest challenges.
Ashley Cox, a leadership mentorwho's dedicated her life to
transforming ambitious businessowners from overwhelmed
(03:04):
operators into empowered leaders.
Ashley doesn't just teachleadership, she embodies it
Through her signature empoweredleader experience.
She's helped countless womenbusiness owners break free from
exhausting cycles of 80-hourwork weeks while leading teams
of five or more employees.
She's the mentor who helps youstop being the bottleneck in
your own business and startbeing the visionary leader you
(03:26):
were meant to be.
What sets Ashley apart is herdeep understanding that great
leadership isn't about adoptingsomeone else's playbook.
It's about aligning with yourown values, leveraging your
natural strengths and building aculture where your team doesn't
just work for you, they thrivewith you.
She's helped leaders transformfrom worker beasts stuck in the
weeds to confident decisionmakers who inspire extraordinary
(03:46):
results.
Today, we're going to deep diveinto what it really takes to
lead with courage, clarity andpurpose.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Ashley, welcome to the show.
Hey, sunny, thank you so muchfor having me here.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
What an honor it is to be on Evoke Greatness today,
well so, glad to have youLooking forward to diving in and
pulling your experiences out.
You know really what threadsyour story, your journey.
I know that you describeyourself as a former worker bee
who hit a breaking point andwould love for you to take us to
(04:16):
that moment.
You know what did rock bottomlook like for you as a leader,
and was there that wake up call,that light bulb that came on
that really started to shiftyour journey?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I love this question.
Thank you for asking this.
I think this is such animportant part of any of our
journeys.
You know, when we hit thatpoint where we're like this
isn't working anymore and I needto do something different.
And for me, that was when I wasworking in the grocery store and
I had started as an hourlyemployee when I was 19 and had
(04:48):
worked in all the departmentsproduce and deli and meat
department and the front end andeverywhere in preparation to be
able to step into a managementrole once I graduated from
school.
Well, we went through thisamazing program that taught us
all about how the store operatedand all the things that it took
for a grocery store to besuccessful and to be profitable,
(05:09):
and the one thing that wasmissing was helping you make
that transition from being anindividual contributor in a role
where you were responsible fortasks to being in a position
where you were leading otherpeople to get things done.
And so I brought that hard work, ethic personality with me from
(05:31):
my role as an hourly employeeinto my role as a manager.
And so I would be back thereslinging 80-pound boxes of
watermelon and cleaning outdrains in the deli and slinging
carts in off of the lot, becauseI thought that that's what it
meant to be a good leader.
I thought that showing up anddoing the work alongside the
(05:51):
people was exactly the way thatI needed to be effective in my
role.
But really, what I've found tocome, what I come to find out,
was that I was more of ahindrance, that I was in
people's ways sometimes was moreof a hindrance.
That I was in people's wayssometimes, that I was making
people feel confused because Iwas stepping in to do the job
instead of allowing them orteaching them to do the job.
(06:13):
And so for me, that was areally big kind of pivot when
one day, an employee said to meAshley, I've got this.
And I sat back and I was like,what do I do?
Though?
You know, it was very much thatmoment, like, if my identity
isn't, I jump in, I help out, Itake control.
Who am I and how do I show upas a good leader?
(06:36):
And so it was a journey fromthere to really discover what it
means to show up withcommunication, with clarity,
with confidence in your people,and that's what I really focus
on helping my clients with today, who have a very similar story
of being stuck in the weeds,thinking they have to do it all,
thinking that their value comesfrom their doing and not from
(06:59):
their leading.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
What I hear is like there's this point of
self-awareness we don't alwayshave early on.
How much of there's this pointof self-awareness we don't
always have early on.
How much of that was this senseof self-awareness,
self-identity, to say, okay, I'mgoing to recognize some of
these things that I'm doing,maybe it's different than what I
initially thought it was goingto be.
And then, through thatself-awareness, I think that
(07:21):
allows us to start to lean in tohow it actually may be
different and how that's not abad thing.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Of course, absolutely .
Self-awareness is such acritical component.
There are very rare instanceswhere I will use a definitive
always never X, y, z right.
And this is one situation whereI'm consistently saying all
leaders need to have a degree ofself-awareness, because we
can't improve if we don't allowourselves to see where we're
(07:51):
being a hindrance, where we'rebeing a help, where we could
step in more, we could step backmore.
And for me, it was aboutallowing myself to hear the
feedback that my team was sayinglike hey, we've got this.
Like could you just get out ofthe way?
Essentially, I'm like oh, oh,you don't need me in the way
(08:12):
that I think you need me.
And we have to have that levelof self-awareness and openness
to being able to hear what ourpeople are saying and what
they're sharing with us and alsobeing able to say, oh, am I the
problem?
Is it me?
And being okay with that.
You know there's a big degreethat comes with self-awareness
(08:33):
in the part of our ego, and ourego has to take a back seat if
we're going to be an effectiveleader.
And that was part of it, that Ireally had just prided myself
on being such a great employeeand that role had changed
drastically, and so, with that,my level of self-awareness had
to change as well, in the thingsthat I was thinking and doing
(08:56):
and experiencing, but also inthe ways that I was asking for
feedback from my team.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I love that you called out the ego piece,
because I think that's soimportant and oftentimes
overlooked.
We want to improve and when wehave to come to the reality
around our self-awareness thatwhat we're doing may not be
working for a multitude ofreasons, sometimes it's that
protective element of us who sayno, I'm probably the right
(09:22):
person to do this, or I'mprobably the best person to do
this, because it's the gnashingof teeth with our ego that I
think oftentimes we want toavoid.
So I love that you called thatout, because until we get real
around that and we're willing tobe better as a result of
letting that ego get bruisedsometimes, I think that allows
(09:43):
us to get better and stronger.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Oh, absolutely.
You know, it's really aboutbeing vulnerable too.
Being a leader is one of themost vulnerable experiences you
will have as a human, I think,probably second to being a
parent I'm not a parent, butthis is what I hear from my
parent friends, because it ripsyou open in ways that you didn't
know existed and it really isone of the most profound
professional growth experiencesthat you will ever see.
(10:12):
You'll identify gaps in yourskill set, in your ability to
communicate, in the way that youshow up in this world, but I
think when we can really look atwhat are our values as a leader
who do I want to be, who do Iwant to become, and how does
that align with the things thatI'm doing most of us will be
(10:32):
able to reconcile that and say,oh, that's where ego takes a
backseat, that's where feedbackis necessary for me to grow and
to thrive and to really be theleader I want to be for my team
and that I know I can be.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
You talk about the myth that empathetic, nurturing
leaders need to adopt a harsh,aggressive, masculine style to
be taken seriously.
Yeah, you know, I sit back andI think about that and I think
about how that influenced mewhen I was very early in
leadership and I thoughtdominance was like the key
element to being a leader.
(11:07):
What do you think is the mostdamaging leadership advice
you've seen women try to follow,and how do you work to help
them unlearn those pieces thatmaybe they thought at one point
in time were the right pieces ofguidance or advice to live by?
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah, I think any advice that women receive that
is in opposition to theirhumanity, that's the worst
advice and I was the one thatreceived that.
I was told when I was a youngleader and I was leading, you
know, a team of 350 at 22 yearsold, co-leading and that's a lot
of people and that's a veryyoung age without a fully
(11:44):
developed frontal lobe, and youknow there was a lot of hard
learning curves there and a lotof face slapping moments where I
even cringe today thinking backwow, that could have gone
better.
But what was so damaging to meat that age was being told
you're too compassionate, peopleare going to take advantage of
you, they're going to run youover, nobody's going to take you
(12:05):
seriously.
And add to that the fact that Iwas 22, I was a female and I'm
only 5'2", so I was not animposing person in any stretch
of the imagination.
But I took that to say oh, I'mwrong in the way that I'm
leading, the way that I'minteracting, the way that I'm
being with my people.
I must need to be tough and,like you, I must be dominant.
(12:28):
I must show up and rule with aniron fist and I'm the boss.
What I say goes, don't askquestions, and that is not a
good way to lead, and I thinkthat it felt like internal
conflict.
Right, it felt like I'm showingup in this way, but that feels
very contrary to my values, tomy humanity, to how I want to
(12:50):
interact with people in thisworld, whether it's in a
professional environment, avolunteer situation, with family
, friends, etc.
And so I think if you're evergetting feedback from someone
that says, well, you're notbeing tough enough or you're not
being fill in the blank, andthat feels misaligned with your
values, that's the worstfeedback you can get, because
you can be a soft, caring,empathetic, nurturing leader and
(13:15):
build accountable teams, buildprofitable teams, build inspired
teams that are motivated andthat go above and beyond.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
It doesn't have to be one or the other, it gets to be
both and I think there's somuch to be able to pull out of
that and the lessons that comeout of that that shift and shape
you right, because I think theearlier view of what you thought
it was going to be like, pluslived experience, is really what
helps us mature as leaders andwhat helps us shed some of those
(13:45):
original thoughts that we hadof what it was going to look
like, but it also, as we talkedabout earlier, it allows us to
shed some of that ego piece.
And so it's when we shed offsome of those elements, like
anything in life, those thingskind of die off and it allows
space for new things to be born,new ways of being, new ways of
(14:06):
thinking to help you lead to thebest of your ability ways of
thinking to help you lead to thebest of your ability.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah for sure, and that's the fun part is, when you
start to shed those layers,when you start to shed societal
conditioning or expectations,self-imposed expectations,
expectations of others aroundyou, whether they're mentors or
supervisors, or family orfriends or whomever it might be
we get to start asking thequestion what would I do instead
?
What would feel good instead ofwhat I've experienced in the
(14:37):
past?
And one of the things I see myclients often do is
inadvertently create the samekind of toxic work environment
that they came from, becauseit's the only one that they've
known.
It's the only way they've knownhow to do business, it's the
only example of leadership thatthey've had, and so one of my
greatest privileges in thisworld is to push back on that
(14:59):
and to say, but what if it couldbe different?
What if you did this instead ofthat?
How would that feel?
How would that make adifference in your business, in
the world, in the people thatyou get to work with every day,
in the jobs that you arecreating for the people that are
working for you, and it's thatimpact ripple that we get to
have, where we are making thechange and not waiting for
(15:21):
someone else to make the change.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I think the exploration of what's possible
is one of my favorite things todo in all aspects of life.
What's possible is one of myfavorite things to do in all
aspects of life, but it allowsyou to open your mind up to if
this were different, how couldthis be different, the effort in
and the impact out.
And I think that gives peoplethe permission to be able to
(15:45):
start evaluating the situation,to say what if this were?
Know, what if this weredifferent?
I often think back to theleadership lessons I've gotten
over the years around.
Sometimes we're in anexperience We've seen kind of
one way of being, one way ofleading folks who have been in
(16:06):
one organization or under oneleader for a long period of time
and it's like, okay, what ifthere is another way to go about
this and get a different orbetter outcome?
And so, as I've garnered theseexamples and lessons over life,
it's really been about here'sexamples of ways that I would
love to lead Like.
(16:27):
Here are pieces of leadershipthat I've seen over the years,
but I think the more importantlessons that I've gotten is what
?
What do I want to make surethat I never do, because those
are just as important is whatkind of leader do I want to be?
What kind of leader do I wantto make sure I'm?
I'm not.
And so, when we can likedecipher out those lessons, I
(16:51):
think it's really important foryou to then create, like your
own space, your own way ofleading, because I think it's
very individual and it's basedoff of our value system.
Right, that's the core of whatit is, what those things that
are fundamentally important tous.
If we can construct that intoour leadership, that's where so
much of the vulnerability piececomes into play, but coupled
(17:11):
beautifully and in a dance withauthenticity 100%.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I really think this hits the nail on the head.
A lot of times when I'm doing avalues exercise with my clients
and they're struggling andthey're like, I don't know, I
love all the values, I want tobe all the things, and I'm like,
okay, well, let's start withwho you don't want to be.
What are the non-negotiables?
What are the things that you?
Absolutely?
It makes your skin crawl, oryou remember that manager that
(17:38):
made you feel small orinconsequential or diminished or
you know any other toxicfeeling.
What do we not want to be?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
And let's find the opposite of that, because
sometimes it is hard to say gosh, like and let's find the
opposite of that, becausesometimes it is hard to say gosh
(18:10):
, like of all stuck or remaintrapped in the bottleneck or, as
the bottleneck I should say, intheir own businesses Is there.
You know, as you've worked withpeople.
Is there a specific momentwhere you have actually seen
that shift happen, and what doesthat look like?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, it's.
For me and my clients, one ofthe most significant
realizations is when theyunderstand how holding on so
tightly is creating thebreakdown whether that's the
bottleneck because they have togive approval on every single
task that happens, or that theirinability to communicate their
(18:48):
vision clearly with their teamcreates barriers and roadblocks,
because now their team doesn'tquite understand what they're
supposed to be doing andhoarding that information and
being the gatekeeper of thatinformation then creates the
bottleneck or the roadblock.
And so I love it when we'retalking through a situation and
(19:09):
a client will say I'm trying tothink of this.
There's one specific example wewere talking through a
situation and a client will sayI'm trying to think of this.
There's one specific example wewere talking through a
situation that this client waslike well, and my team just like
it's like they're just notlistening to me and I feel like
I'm talking until I'm blue inthe face and they're just not
getting things done and so Ihave to do all of it.
And I was like wow, that soundsreally tough.
Help me understand what you'vedone to communicate your
(19:37):
expectations to them.
Let's walk through that step bystep by step, so as she's
walking through and I'm askingsome more probing questions to
understand better.
It literally just walks herright into.
Oh my god, I didn't share this.
I was like, okay.
So here it is.
And I think that sometimes webuild these businesses with our
blood, sweat and tears, with ourheart and soul, with every
(19:58):
fiber of our being.
It is our creation from nothingto what it is today and it's
hard to let go, it's hard totrust other people to help you
with that precious thing thatyou've created, and I understand
that deeply and you are goingto die if you do not get help.
And so sometimes it's justhaving that space to sit back
(20:21):
and to have someone who'soutside of your world, outside
of the weeds, to ask somethoughtful questions, to help
you see what you already know isgoing on in your business.
But sometimes we have to callit what it is and name it so
that we can say, okay, what'sthe better way forward?
Because clearly it's not this.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Yeah, and it's.
You really do have to pull backthe layers of what you're.
It's almost like you know what.
What we permit, we promote,right, and it's what are we
doing that we're permitting,that is promoting this negative
outcome?
Yeah, and that, again, hard todo.
We've got to look ourselves inthe mirror.
(21:03):
Yeah, it's, it's in service ofbecoming better and thereby you
have better outcomes?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, absolutely.
And the thing is, your team isgoing to be a mirror of you and
your leadership.
So if your team is not doingwhat you need for them to do,
want for them to do, desire forthem to do, that's going to be a
good data point for us to lookat and say okay, if this is
happening, what are we doing ornot doing?
(21:32):
That's creating that andsometimes that's hard to hear,
and we can do it with laughterand jokes and make it feel not
as hard and not as scary.
And I think that's part of ittoo is because the leadership
journey can be so vulnerable andit can leave you feeling so raw
and it can make you check yourego at the door and all of these
(21:54):
really difficult things.
And on the other side of thatis greatness right.
The other side of that is notjust you being able to not work
14 days a week.
Have more time with your familyand your friends, engage in
hobbies that you've set asidefor too many years, lay under a
(22:15):
tree and read a book.
I don't know how many timesI've asked women what would you
do if you had an extra hour thisweek?
And they were like, oh, layunder a tree and read a book and
I'm like, okay, well, let'smake that happen this week.
But those things are possible.
But also what's possible foryour team being in a job where
they are doing meaningful workthat matters, being respected,
(22:37):
valued, seen, appreciated Thingsthat so many of us haven't
experienced in a job before,here and there and thought, wow,
what if my whole business couldfeel like that for every team
member.
And then I think about whenthose people go home at night,
how much more engaged they arewith their families, how much
(22:57):
more loving, how much morepatient, how much more caring,
how much more fulfilled are theyoutside of work?
Because their needs are beingmet at work, and it just gives
me goosebumps every time I talkabout it.
I'm like it's just at work andit just gives me goosebumps
every time I talk about it.
I'm like it's just.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
We have this precious opportunity to create such
impact beyond just myself, mybusiness, the four walls that we
work within, but out to ourteams and their families and
their communities and the worldaround us Reminds me of the
quote, and I will preface thiswith I am a self-confessed
control enthusiast, and I sawthis quote and it really hit me.
(23:38):
And it says you can havecontrol or you can have growth,
but you can't have both.
And I thought, oh, and I am somuch about growth.
It's a value, a truefundamental value for me is to
continue growing in all waysthat I see the world, that I
show up in the world, how Iunderstand the world, and
(23:58):
control is something I enjoyhaving.
And so how can I frame that ina way where, where control is
not that dominating element inmy life, rather, I'm living by
the value of growth, andsometimes that is relinquishing
control, but it's really throughgrowth, of learning to allow
(24:21):
others to help you.
I think oftentimes, if we canboldly profess what our vision
is, that's how we get peoplebought in right, that's how we
get people to come alongside us.
This thing doesn't even existyet and yet we can communicate
it in a way where you'reinviting others to come along
and breathe life into an idea.
(24:42):
That's you know, that's anamazing thing, and when we can
do that, we have to let go ofsome of that control and we have
to say would you join me?
I invite you along in thisjourney, and then guess what?
I grow.
And they grow Well if we growtogether, and so that's like
best case scenario, exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
It really is.
It's when we don't allow ourteam to grow, we hinder them,
and so that's another way tolook at it, where it usually
hits you right in the values.
I don't want to hinder people,I want to help them, I want to
support them, I want for them tofind fulfillment and growth and
opportunity, and the way thatwe do that is to get out of the
way.
(25:21):
A couple of weeks ago, well,I've got to learn how to do this
before I can hire someone,because I need to know exactly
how this works.
And it just kept going on andon and I was like why, just why?
I'm just like, help meunderstand why.
Why do you feel that way?
Well, because how do I knowwhat I'm managing?
(25:43):
And she just was really wrappedup in the idea of having to
have intimate knowledge about atechnology she had zero
experience with and no need toactually know how it worked.
You know, it was kind of askingthe clockmaker what time is it?
And then the clockmaker tellsyou how to build the entire
clock and you're like there's alittle much there.
(26:04):
So we talked through that andshe finally come to the
realization.
Okay, as long as I can beconfident in the person that I'm
hiring.
I can let this go because it'snot a make or break part of my
business.
It's something I'm adding, it'sa value add and it's not going
to be something that if we failwith, it's going to break the
(26:27):
whole business.
And so I always tell people youdo not have to give the keys
away to the business in order todelegate and to get help, and
you don't have to give all ofyour secrets away and you don't
have to just delegate everythingand spin around like a sound of
music in the field.
You don't have to be thatwilly-nilly with it, that free,
(26:47):
but you've got to startsomewhere, and a great place to
start is a place that doesn'tfeel as pivotal, as important to
your business.
Now you might not want to giveaway the sales part of your
business yet because you mightbe the only one who can really
talk about that at the levelthat you have.
(27:08):
But one day you can transferthat knowledge to someone else
and you can help them grow intothat role.
But I'm not saying you have togive that away today.
It's really findingopportunities for yourself to
stretch into letting go, versusjust letting go and watching all
the cards fall around you,because if you delegate
everything on day one, I promiseyou it will be a hot mess.
(27:29):
So we can practice.
We practice letting go, andthat's what it is.
I love this quote and thisdefinition of growth is a value
for you and so you can framethings around.
Okay, does holding on to thisallow me to grow, allow my
(27:50):
business to grow, allow my teamto grow, or does it hinder those
things?
And when we confront ourselveswith those kinds of questions
that are value-based, we findthat alignment and we find our
path forward.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
You mentioned that only 20% of someone's team
causes about 80% of the problemsand often the leader is part of
that 20%.
That's a really hard truth tocome to, again for all the
reasons we've been talking aboutso far.
How do you help a leaderrecognize when they're actually
the problem and we talked a bitabout that but like what can
(28:23):
that reaction be and how do youhelp them kind of navigate and
unpack what that looks like?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Well, there's a reason my clients often say our
sessions feel like therapy, notbecause I'm a therapist, but
because we're unpacking reallybig, heavy, hard emotions a lot
of the time, and sometimes asession might just mean getting
it all out, venting, being upset, questioning everything and
(28:52):
then allowing yourself to kindof process it, and so then the
next week might be like okay, Isee where I'm the problem and
this is really hard for me toaccept.
Yes, and we can move past that.
I think one of the key momentsis really not being afraid to
(29:13):
say that you are part of theproblem, because once you
recognize that, you get to bepart of the solution.
But it comes back toself-awareness, like we talked
about earlier.
If we're not aware that we'repart of the problem, we can
never be part of the solution,cannot?
Those two things don't work,and so once we are allowing
ourselves to say, okay, is itpossible?
(29:36):
You don't have to come rightout of the gate and say, yep,
I'm the problem, I know I'm theproblem.
Is it possible?
I could be hindering my team ormy business growth in this way
and you can sit with it and youdon't have to solve it today.
That's what a lot of.
I think that's what a lot ofbusiness owners really struggle
with is because we're so go, gogo.
We're so driven, we're so youknow, let's get this next thing
(29:59):
and knock that thing off theto-do list and meet this goal
and hit that deadline.
We don't allow ourselves enoughspace to sit with some of the
heavier things and that cancreate compounding problems down
the road, and so you have to,as a leader, carve out time to
be reflective, to understandyour contributions or lack of
(30:21):
contributions to the businessand how that's creating impact
in the business positive ornegative and be able to process
that so that you can say, okay,I've come to terms with the fact
that I'm 20% of the problem.
I might be closer to 80% of theproblem myself, and here's what
I commit to being able tochange or do or ask my team for
(30:45):
support in order to get out ofthat rut.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Okay, this is where we hit the pause button.
I hope you enjoyed part one ofStop Micromanaging.
Start Leading the guide tobuilding a team you trust with
my guest, ashley Cox.
Make sure to come back nextweek and check out part two,
where we break down the triangleof trust framework.
Tackle the real reason leadersmicromanage, and reveal how to
(31:11):
have those tough but necessaryconversations without losing
your compassion or your edge.
You're going to learn how tostop sabotaging your own team's
growth, the difference betweencontrol and true leadership, and
why compassion andassertiveness make you
unstoppable.
If you're tired of feeling likethe only one holding it all
together, this is yourinvitation to get out of the
(31:31):
weeds, build real trust andfinally lead with confidence.
Thank you so much for listeningand for being here on this
journey with me.
I hope you'll stick around.
If you liked this episode, itwould mean the world for me if
you would rate and review thepodcast or share it with someone
you know.
Many need to hear this message.
(31:51):
I love to hear from you all andwant you to know that you can
leave me a voicemail directly.
If you go to my website,evokegreatnesscom, and go to the
Contact Me tab, you'll just hitthe big old orange button and
record your message.
I love the feedback andcomments that I've been getting,
so please keep them coming.
I'll leave you with the wisewords of author Robin Sharma
(32:12):
Greatness comes by doing a fewsmall and smart things each and
every day.
It comes from taking littlesteps consistently.
It comes from making a fewsmall chips against everything
in your professional andpersonal life that is ordinary,
so that a day eventually arriveswhen all that's left is the
extraordinary.
Welcome to Evoke Greatness.
We are officially entering yearthree of this podcast and I am
filled with so much gratitudefor each and every one of you
who've joined me on thisincredible journey of growth and
self-discovery.
I'm Sunny, your host and fellowtraveler on this path of
personal evolution.
This podcast is a sanctuary forthe curious, the ambitious and
(00:28):
the introspective.
It's for those of you who, likeme, are captivated by the
champion mindset and driven byan insatiable hunger for growth
and knowledge.
Whether you're just beginningyour journey or you're well
along your path, you're going tofind stories here that resonate
with your experiences andaspirations.
Over the last two years, we'veshared countless stories of
triumph and challenge, ofresilience and transformation.
(00:51):
We've laughed, we've reflectedand we've grown together.
And as we've evolved, so toohas this podcast.
Remember, no matter whatchapter you're on in your own
story, you belong here.
This community we've builttogether is a place of support,
inspiration and shared growth.
Where intention goes, energyflows, and the energy you bring
(01:13):
to this space elevates us all.
So, whether you're listeningwhile commuting, working out or
enjoying your morning coffee,perhaps from one of those
motivational mugs I'm so fond of, know that you're a part of
something special.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for your curiosity,your openness and your
commitment to personal growth.
As we embark on year three, Iinvite you to lean in, to listen
(01:36):
deeply and to let these storiesresonate with your soul.
I believe that a rising tideraises all ships, and I invite
you along in this journey toevoke greatness.
Are you the bottleneck in yourown business and you don't even
(01:59):
realize it?
This episode is going tochallenge everything you think
you know about leadership,control and building a team that
thrives.
If you're tired of feelingstuck, overwhelmed or like
you're the only one holding ittogether, this is your
invitation to step back.
Let go and lead with courageand clarity.
In this episode, my guest,ashley Cox, brings the truth
(02:21):
about why doing it all isactually a trap, why ego gets
leaders stuck and the surprisingsecret to unlocking growth.
Hint, it's not about workingharder.
So tune in to find out how tobreak the old cycle, delegate
with confidence and create theculture you've always wanted for
your business and for yourself.
(02:42):
Welcome back to another episodeof About Greatness, where we
uncover the wisdom and storiesof remarkable individuals making
a genuine impact in the world.
Today, we have someoneextraordinary joining us, a
leader who's cracking the codeon one of entrepreneurship's
biggest challenges.
Ashley Cox, a leadership mentorwho's dedicated her life to
transforming ambitious businessowners from overwhelmed
(03:04):
operators into empowered leaders.
Ashley doesn't just teachleadership, she embodies it
Through her signature empoweredleader experience.
She's helped countless womenbusiness owners break free from
exhausting cycles of 80-hourwork weeks while leading teams
of five or more employees.
She's the mentor who helps youstop being the bottleneck in
your own business and startbeing the visionary leader you
(03:26):
were meant to be.
What sets Ashley apart is herdeep understanding that great
leadership isn't about adoptingsomeone else's playbook.
It's about aligning with yourown values, leveraging your
natural strengths and building aculture where your team doesn't
just work for you, they thrivewith you.
She's helped leaders transformfrom worker beasts stuck in the
weeds to confident decisionmakers who inspire extraordinary
(03:46):
results.
Today, we're going to deep diveinto what it really takes to
lead with courage, clarity andpurpose.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Ashley, welcome to the show.
Hey, sunny, thank you so muchfor having me here.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
What an honor it is to be on Evoke Greatness today,
well so, glad to have youLooking forward to diving in and
pulling your experiences out.
You know really what threadsyour story, your journey.
I know that you describeyourself as a former worker bee
who hit a breaking point andwould love for you to take us to
(04:16):
that moment.
You know what did rock bottomlook like for you as a leader,
and was there that wake up call,that light bulb that came on
that really started to shiftyour journey?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I love this question.
Thank you for asking this.
I think this is such animportant part of any of our
journeys.
You know, when we hit thatpoint where we're like this
isn't working anymore and I needto do something different.
And for me, that was when I wasworking in the grocery store and
I had started as an hourlyemployee when I was 19 and had
(04:48):
worked in all the departmentsproduce and deli and meat
department and the front end andeverywhere in preparation to be
able to step into a managementrole once I graduated from
school.
Well, we went through thisamazing program that taught us
all about how the store operatedand all the things that it took
for a grocery store to besuccessful and to be profitable,
(05:09):
and the one thing that wasmissing was helping you make
that transition from being anindividual contributor in a role
where you were responsible fortasks to being in a position
where you were leading otherpeople to get things done.
And so I brought that hard work, ethic personality with me from
(05:31):
my role as an hourly employeeinto my role as a manager.
And so I would be back thereslinging 80-pound boxes of
watermelon and cleaning outdrains in the deli and slinging
carts in off of the lot, becauseI thought that that's what it
meant to be a good leader.
I thought that showing up anddoing the work alongside the
(05:51):
people was exactly the way thatI needed to be effective in my
role.
But really, what I've found tocome, what I come to find out,
was that I was more of ahindrance, that I was in
people's ways sometimes was moreof a hindrance.
That I was in people's wayssometimes, that I was making
people feel confused because Iwas stepping in to do the job
instead of allowing them orteaching them to do the job.
(06:13):
And so for me, that was areally big kind of pivot when
one day, an employee said to meAshley, I've got this.
And I sat back and I was like,what do I do?
Though?
You know, it was very much thatmoment, like, if my identity
isn't, I jump in, I help out, Itake control.
Who am I and how do I show upas a good leader?
(06:36):
And so it was a journey fromthere to really discover what it
means to show up withcommunication, with clarity,
with confidence in your people,and that's what I really focus
on helping my clients with today, who have a very similar story
of being stuck in the weeds,thinking they have to do it all,
thinking that their value comesfrom their doing and not from
(06:59):
their leading.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
What I hear is like there's this point of
self-awareness we don't alwayshave early on.
How much of there's this pointof self-awareness we don't
always have early on.
How much of that was this senseof self-awareness,
self-identity, to say, okay, I'mgoing to recognize some of
these things that I'm doing,maybe it's different than what I
initially thought it was goingto be.
And then, through thatself-awareness, I think that
(07:21):
allows us to start to lean in tohow it actually may be
different and how that's not abad thing.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Of course, absolutely .
Self-awareness is such acritical component.
There are very rare instanceswhere I will use a definitive
always never X, y, z right.
And this is one situation whereI'm consistently saying all
leaders need to have a degree ofself-awareness, because we
can't improve if we don't allowourselves to see where we're
(07:51):
being a hindrance, where we'rebeing a help, where we could
step in more, we could step backmore.
And for me, it was aboutallowing myself to hear the
feedback that my team was sayinglike hey, we've got this.
Like could you just get out ofthe way?
Essentially, I'm like oh, oh,you don't need me in the way
(08:12):
that I think you need me.
And we have to have that levelof self-awareness and openness
to being able to hear what ourpeople are saying and what
they're sharing with us and alsobeing able to say, oh, am I the
problem?
Is it me?
And being okay with that.
You know there's a big degreethat comes with self-awareness
(08:33):
in the part of our ego, and ourego has to take a back seat if
we're going to be an effectiveleader.
And that was part of it, that Ireally had just prided myself
on being such a great employeeand that role had changed
drastically, and so, with that,my level of self-awareness had
to change as well, in the thingsthat I was thinking and doing
(08:56):
and experiencing, but also inthe ways that I was asking for
feedback from my team.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I love that you called out the ego piece,
because I think that's soimportant and oftentimes
overlooked.
We want to improve and when wehave to come to the reality
around our self-awareness thatwhat we're doing may not be
working for a multitude ofreasons, sometimes it's that
protective element of us who sayno, I'm probably the right
(09:22):
person to do this, or I'mprobably the best person to do
this, because it's the gnashingof teeth with our ego that I
think oftentimes we want toavoid.
So I love that you called thatout, because until we get real
around that and we're willing tobe better as a result of
letting that ego get bruisedsometimes, I think that allows
(09:43):
us to get better and stronger.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Oh, absolutely.
You know, it's really aboutbeing vulnerable too.
Being a leader is one of themost vulnerable experiences you
will have as a human, I think,probably second to being a
parent I'm not a parent, butthis is what I hear from my
parent friends, because it ripsyou open in ways that you didn't
know existed and it really isone of the most profound
professional growth experiencesthat you will ever see.
(10:12):
You'll identify gaps in yourskill set, in your ability to
communicate, in the way that youshow up in this world, but I
think when we can really look atwhat are our values as a leader
who do I want to be, who do Iwant to become, and how does
that align with the things thatI'm doing most of us will be
(10:32):
able to reconcile that and say,oh, that's where ego takes a
backseat, that's where feedbackis necessary for me to grow and
to thrive and to really be theleader I want to be for my team
and that I know I can be.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
You talk about the myth that empathetic, nurturing
leaders need to adopt a harsh,aggressive, masculine style to
be taken seriously.
Yeah, you know, I sit back andI think about that and I think
about how that influenced mewhen I was very early in
leadership and I thoughtdominance was like the key
element to being a leader.
(11:07):
What do you think is the mostdamaging leadership advice
you've seen women try to follow,and how do you work to help
them unlearn those pieces thatmaybe they thought at one point
in time were the right pieces ofguidance or advice to live by?
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah, I think any advice that women receive that
is in opposition to theirhumanity, that's the worst
advice and I was the one thatreceived that.
I was told when I was a youngleader and I was leading, you
know, a team of 350 at 22 yearsold, co-leading and that's a lot
of people and that's a veryyoung age without a fully
(11:44):
developed frontal lobe, and youknow there was a lot of hard
learning curves there and a lotof face slapping moments where I
even cringe today thinking backwow, that could have gone
better.
But what was so damaging to meat that age was being told
you're too compassionate, peopleare going to take advantage of
you, they're going to run youover, nobody's going to take you
(12:05):
seriously.
And add to that the fact that Iwas 22, I was a female and I'm
only 5'2", so I was not animposing person in any stretch
of the imagination.
But I took that to say oh, I'mwrong in the way that I'm
leading, the way that I'minteracting, the way that I'm
being with my people.
I must need to be tough and,like you, I must be dominant.
(12:28):
I must show up and rule with aniron fist and I'm the boss.
What I say goes, don't askquestions, and that is not a
good way to lead, and I thinkthat it felt like internal
conflict.
Right, it felt like I'm showingup in this way, but that feels
very contrary to my values, tomy humanity, to how I want to
(12:50):
interact with people in thisworld, whether it's in a
professional environment, avolunteer situation, with family
, friends, etc.
And so I think if you're evergetting feedback from someone
that says, well, you're notbeing tough enough or you're not
being fill in the blank, andthat feels misaligned with your
values, that's the worstfeedback you can get, because
you can be a soft, caring,empathetic, nurturing leader and
(13:15):
build accountable teams, buildprofitable teams, build inspired
teams that are motivated andthat go above and beyond.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
It doesn't have to be one or the other, it gets to be
both and I think there's somuch to be able to pull out of
that and the lessons that comeout of that that shift and shape
you right, because I think theearlier view of what you thought
it was going to be like, pluslived experience, is really what
helps us mature as leaders andwhat helps us shed some of those
(13:45):
original thoughts that we hadof what it was going to look
like, but it also, as we talkedabout earlier, it allows us to
shed some of that ego piece.
And so it's when we shed offsome of those elements, like
anything in life, those thingskind of die off and it allows
space for new things to be born,new ways of being, new ways of
(14:06):
thinking to help you lead to thebest of your ability ways of
thinking to help you lead to thebest of your ability.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah for sure, and that's the fun part is, when you
start to shed those layers,when you start to shed societal
conditioning or expectations,self-imposed expectations,
expectations of others aroundyou, whether they're mentors or
supervisors, or family orfriends or whomever it might be
we get to start asking thequestion what would I do instead
?
What would feel good instead ofwhat I've experienced in the
(14:37):
past?
And one of the things I see myclients often do is
inadvertently create the samekind of toxic work environment
that they came from, becauseit's the only one that they've
known.
It's the only way they've knownhow to do business, it's the
only example of leadership thatthey've had, and so one of my
greatest privileges in thisworld is to push back on that
(14:59):
and to say, but what if it couldbe different?
What if you did this instead ofthat?
How would that feel?
How would that make adifference in your business, in
the world, in the people thatyou get to work with every day,
in the jobs that you arecreating for the people that are
working for you, and it's thatimpact ripple that we get to
have, where we are making thechange and not waiting for
(15:21):
someone else to make the change.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I think the exploration of what's possible
is one of my favorite things todo in all aspects of life.
What's possible is one of myfavorite things to do in all
aspects of life, but it allowsyou to open your mind up to if
this were different, how couldthis be different, the effort in
and the impact out.
And I think that gives peoplethe permission to be able to
(15:45):
start evaluating the situation,to say what if this were?
Know, what if this weredifferent?
I often think back to theleadership lessons I've gotten
over the years around.
Sometimes we're in anexperience We've seen kind of
one way of being, one way ofleading folks who have been in
(16:06):
one organization or under oneleader for a long period of time
and it's like, okay, what ifthere is another way to go about
this and get a different orbetter outcome?
And so, as I've garnered theseexamples and lessons over life,
it's really been about here'sexamples of ways that I would
love to lead Like.
(16:27):
Here are pieces of leadershipthat I've seen over the years,
but I think the more importantlessons that I've gotten is what
?
What do I want to make surethat I never do, because those
are just as important is whatkind of leader do I want to be?
What kind of leader do I wantto make sure I'm?
I'm not.
And so, when we can likedecipher out those lessons, I
(16:51):
think it's really important foryou to then create, like your
own space, your own way ofleading, because I think it's
very individual and it's basedoff of our value system.
Right, that's the core of whatit is, what those things that
are fundamentally important tous.
If we can construct that intoour leadership, that's where so
much of the vulnerability piececomes into play, but coupled
(17:11):
beautifully and in a dance withauthenticity 100%.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I really think this hits the nail on the head.
A lot of times when I'm doing avalues exercise with my clients
and they're struggling andthey're like, I don't know, I
love all the values, I want tobe all the things, and I'm like,
okay, well, let's start withwho you don't want to be.
What are the non-negotiables?
What are the things that you?
Absolutely?
It makes your skin crawl, oryou remember that manager that
(17:38):
made you feel small orinconsequential or diminished or
you know any other toxicfeeling.
What do we not want to be?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
And let's find the opposite of that, because
sometimes it is hard to say gosh, like and let's find the
opposite of that, becausesometimes it is hard to say gosh
(18:10):
, like of all stuck or remaintrapped in the bottleneck or, as
the bottleneck I should say, intheir own businesses Is there.
You know, as you've worked withpeople.
Is there a specific momentwhere you have actually seen
that shift happen, and what doesthat look like?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, it's.
For me and my clients, one ofthe most significant
realizations is when theyunderstand how holding on so
tightly is creating thebreakdown whether that's the
bottleneck because they have togive approval on every single
task that happens, or that theirinability to communicate their
(18:48):
vision clearly with their teamcreates barriers and roadblocks,
because now their team doesn'tquite understand what they're
supposed to be doing andhoarding that information and
being the gatekeeper of thatinformation then creates the
bottleneck or the roadblock.
And so I love it when we'retalking through a situation and
(19:09):
a client will say I'm trying tothink of this.
There's one specific example wewere talking through a
situation and a client will sayI'm trying to think of this.
There's one specific example wewere talking through a
situation that this client waslike well, and my team just like
it's like they're just notlistening to me and I feel like
I'm talking until I'm blue inthe face and they're just not
getting things done and so Ihave to do all of it.
And I was like wow, that soundsreally tough.
Help me understand what you'vedone to communicate your
(19:37):
expectations to them.
Let's walk through that step bystep by step, so as she's
walking through and I'm askingsome more probing questions to
understand better.
It literally just walks herright into.
Oh my god, I didn't share this.
I was like, okay.
So here it is.
And I think that sometimes webuild these businesses with our
blood, sweat and tears, with ourheart and soul, with every
(19:58):
fiber of our being.
It is our creation from nothingto what it is today and it's
hard to let go, it's hard totrust other people to help you
with that precious thing thatyou've created, and I understand
that deeply and you are goingto die if you do not get help.
And so sometimes it's justhaving that space to sit back
(20:21):
and to have someone who'soutside of your world, outside
of the weeds, to ask somethoughtful questions, to help
you see what you already know isgoing on in your business.
But sometimes we have to callit what it is and name it so
that we can say, okay, what'sthe better way forward?
Because clearly it's not this.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Yeah, and it's.
You really do have to pull backthe layers of what you're.
It's almost like you know what.
What we permit, we promote,right, and it's what are we
doing that we're permitting,that is promoting this negative
outcome?
Yeah, and that, again, hard todo.
We've got to look ourselves inthe mirror.
(21:03):
Yeah, it's, it's in service ofbecoming better and thereby you
have better outcomes?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, absolutely.
And the thing is, your team isgoing to be a mirror of you and
your leadership.
So if your team is not doingwhat you need for them to do,
want for them to do, desire forthem to do, that's going to be a
good data point for us to lookat and say okay, if this is
happening, what are we doing ornot doing?
(21:32):
That's creating that andsometimes that's hard to hear,
and we can do it with laughterand jokes and make it feel not
as hard and not as scary.
And I think that's part of ittoo is because the leadership
journey can be so vulnerable andit can leave you feeling so raw
and it can make you check yourego at the door and all of these
(21:54):
really difficult things.
And on the other side of thatis greatness right.
The other side of that is notjust you being able to not work
14 days a week.
Have more time with your familyand your friends, engage in
hobbies that you've set asidefor too many years, lay under a
(22:15):
tree and read a book.
I don't know how many timesI've asked women what would you
do if you had an extra hour thisweek?
And they were like, oh, layunder a tree and read a book and
I'm like, okay, well, let'smake that happen this week.
But those things are possible.
But also what's possible foryour team being in a job where
they are doing meaningful workthat matters, being respected,
(22:37):
valued, seen, appreciated Thingsthat so many of us haven't
experienced in a job before,here and there and thought, wow,
what if my whole business couldfeel like that for every team
member.
And then I think about whenthose people go home at night,
how much more engaged they arewith their families, how much
(22:57):
more loving, how much morepatient, how much more caring,
how much more fulfilled are theyoutside of work?
Because their needs are beingmet at work, and it just gives
me goosebumps every time I talkabout it.
I'm like it's just at work andit just gives me goosebumps
every time I talk about it.
I'm like it's just.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
We have this precious opportunity to create such
impact beyond just myself, mybusiness, the four walls that we
work within, but out to ourteams and their families and
their communities and the worldaround us Reminds me of the
quote, and I will preface thiswith I am a self-confessed
control enthusiast, and I sawthis quote and it really hit me.
(23:38):
And it says you can havecontrol or you can have growth,
but you can't have both.
And I thought, oh, and I am somuch about growth.
It's a value, a truefundamental value for me is to
continue growing in all waysthat I see the world, that I
show up in the world, how Iunderstand the world, and
(23:58):
control is something I enjoyhaving.
And so how can I frame that ina way where, where control is
not that dominating element inmy life, rather, I'm living by
the value of growth, andsometimes that is relinquishing
control, but it's really throughgrowth, of learning to allow
(24:21):
others to help you.
I think oftentimes, if we canboldly profess what our vision
is, that's how we get peoplebought in right, that's how we
get people to come alongside us.
This thing doesn't even existyet and yet we can communicate
it in a way where you'reinviting others to come along
and breathe life into an idea.
(24:42):
That's you know, that's anamazing thing, and when we can
do that, we have to let go ofsome of that control and we have
to say would you join me?
I invite you along in thisjourney, and then guess what?
I grow.
And they grow Well if we growtogether, and so that's like
best case scenario, exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
It really is.
It's when we don't allow ourteam to grow, we hinder them,
and so that's another way tolook at it, where it usually
hits you right in the values.
I don't want to hinder people,I want to help them, I want to
support them, I want for them tofind fulfillment and growth and
opportunity, and the way thatwe do that is to get out of the
way.
(25:21):
A couple of weeks ago, well,I've got to learn how to do this
before I can hire someone,because I need to know exactly
how this works.
And it just kept going on andon and I was like why, just why?
I'm just like, help meunderstand why.
Why do you feel that way?
Well, because how do I knowwhat I'm managing?
(25:43):
And she just was really wrappedup in the idea of having to
have intimate knowledge about atechnology she had zero
experience with and no need toactually know how it worked.
You know, it was kind of askingthe clockmaker what time is it?
And then the clockmaker tellsyou how to build the entire
clock and you're like there's alittle much there.
(26:04):
So we talked through that andshe finally come to the
realization.
Okay, as long as I can beconfident in the person that I'm
hiring.
I can let this go because it'snot a make or break part of my
business.
It's something I'm adding, it'sa value add and it's not going
to be something that if we failwith, it's going to break the
(26:27):
whole business.
And so I always tell people youdo not have to give the keys
away to the business in order todelegate and to get help, and
you don't have to give all ofyour secrets away and you don't
have to just delegate everythingand spin around like a sound of
music in the field.
You don't have to be thatwilly-nilly with it, that free,
(26:47):
but you've got to startsomewhere, and a great place to
start is a place that doesn'tfeel as pivotal, as important to
your business.
Now you might not want to giveaway the sales part of your
business yet because you mightbe the only one who can really
talk about that at the levelthat you have.
(27:08):
But one day you can transferthat knowledge to someone else
and you can help them grow intothat role.
But I'm not saying you have togive that away today.
It's really findingopportunities for yourself to
stretch into letting go, versusjust letting go and watching all
the cards fall around you,because if you delegate
everything on day one, I promiseyou it will be a hot mess.
(27:29):
So we can practice.
We practice letting go, andthat's what it is.
I love this quote and thisdefinition of growth is a value
for you and so you can framethings around.
Okay, does holding on to thisallow me to grow, allow my
(27:50):
business to grow, allow my teamto grow, or does it hinder those
things?
And when we confront ourselveswith those kinds of questions
that are value-based, we findthat alignment and we find our
path forward.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
You mentioned that only 20% of someone's team
causes about 80% of the problemsand often the leader is part of
that 20%.
That's a really hard truth tocome to, again for all the
reasons we've been talking aboutso far.
How do you help a leaderrecognize when they're actually
the problem and we talked a bitabout that but like what can
(28:23):
that reaction be and how do youhelp them kind of navigate and
unpack what that looks like?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Well, there's a reason my clients often say our
sessions feel like therapy, notbecause I'm a therapist, but
because we're unpacking reallybig, heavy, hard emotions a lot
of the time, and sometimes asession might just mean getting
it all out, venting, being upset, questioning everything and
(28:52):
then allowing yourself to kindof process it, and so then the
next week might be like okay, Isee where I'm the problem and
this is really hard for me toaccept.
Yes, and we can move past that.
I think one of the key momentsis really not being afraid to
(29:13):
say that you are part of theproblem, because once you
recognize that, you get to bepart of the solution.
But it comes back toself-awareness, like we talked
about earlier.
If we're not aware that we'repart of the problem, we can
never be part of the solution,cannot?
Those two things don't work,and so once we are allowing
ourselves to say, okay, is itpossible?
(29:36):
You don't have to come rightout of the gate and say, yep,
I'm the problem, I know I'm theproblem.
Is it possible?
I could be hindering my team ormy business growth in this way
and you can sit with it and youdon't have to solve it today.
That's what a lot of.
I think that's what a lot ofbusiness owners really struggle
with is because we're so go, gogo.
We're so driven, we're so youknow, let's get this next thing
(29:59):
and knock that thing off theto-do list and meet this goal
and hit that deadline.
We don't allow ourselves enoughspace to sit with some of the
heavier things and that cancreate compounding problems down
the road, and so you have to,as a leader, carve out time to
be reflective, to understandyour contributions or lack of
(30:21):
contributions to the businessand how that's creating impact
in the business positive ornegative and be able to process
that so that you can say, okay,I've come to terms with the fact
that I'm 20% of the problem.
I might be closer to 80% of theproblem myself, and here's what
I commit to being able tochange or do or ask my team for
(30:45):
support in order to get out ofthat rut.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Okay, this is where we hit the pause button.
I hope you enjoyed part one ofStop Micromanaging.
Start Leading the guide tobuilding a team you trust with
my guest, ashley Cox.
Make sure to come back nextweek and check out part two,
where we break down the triangleof trust framework.
Tackle the real reason leadersmicromanage, and reveal how to
(31:11):
have those tough but necessaryconversations without losing
your compassion or your edge.
You're going to learn how tostop sabotaging your own team's
growth, the difference betweencontrol and true leadership, and
why compassion andassertiveness make you
unstoppable.
If you're tired of feeling likethe only one holding it all
together, this is yourinvitation to get out of the
(31:31):
weeds, build real trust andfinally lead with confidence.
Thank you so much for listeningand for being here on this
journey with me.
I hope you'll stick around.
If you liked this episode, itwould mean the world for me if
you would rate and review thepodcast or share it with someone
you know.
Many need to hear this message.
(31:51):
I love to hear from you all andwant you to know that you can
leave me a voicemail directly.
If you go to my website,evokegreatnesscom, and go to the
Contact Me tab, you'll just hitthe big old orange button and
record your message.
I love the feedback andcomments that I've been getting,
so please keep them coming.
I'll leave you with the wisewords of author Robin Sharma
(32:12):
Greatness comes by doing a fewsmall and smart things each and
every day.
It comes from taking littlesteps consistently.
It comes from making a fewsmall chips against everything
in your professional andpersonal life that is ordinary,
so that a day eventually arriveswhen all that's left is the
extraordinary.
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