This week on The Ex-Homeschoolers Club, I'm diving into Part 2 of I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, tackling the chapters that aim to define "true Christian love" and promote the gift of singleness.
As a former homeschooler who grew up immersed in purity culture, I bring my personal experience and critical reflection to the table. We unpack the book's problematic teachings around sex, self-love, gender roles, and its impact on developing healthy relationships. I also reflect on the emotional weight of shame, the myth of male self-control, and the limitations of evangelical definitions of love and purity.
This episode is raw, personal, and full of the hard questions we need to ask about how books like this shaped a generation.
Key Topics Covered:
The toxic binary of Christian vs. worldly love
How purity culture shames normal human emotions and desires
The myth of male sexual helplessness and how it harms everyone
The concept of singleness as a spiritual calling vs. reality
The failure of evangelical literature to cite evidence or acknowledge harm
Resources Mentioned:
- I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
- When Religion Hurts You by Laura E. Anderson
- The Westminster Catechism
- The story of King David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12)
Timestamps
00:00 Introduction to 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye'
00:19 Recap of Part One
01:29 Exploring Christian Love vs. Worldly Love
02:10 Chapter Four: Looking Up "Love" in God's Dictionary
04:42 Aphrodite or Christ: Defining Love
10:04 Chapter Five: The Right Thing at the Wrong Time Is the Wrong Thing
20:21 The Gift of Singleness
26:14 Chapter Six: The Direction of Purity
28:46 Purity as a Direction, Not a Fixed Point
32:55 The Story of King David and Bathsheba
33:58 Questioning Christian Justifications
35:30 Proverbs and the Seductive Spirit
36:30 Purity in Action
38:58 Critique of Christian Literature
40:40 Billy Graham and Evangelist Integrity
41:58 Purity Culture and Male Accountability
47:04 Gender Roles and Responsibilities
52:34 Chapter Seven: A Cleansed Past: The Room
01:00:17 Reflections and Future Directions
If this episode resonates with you, I want to hear your story. What was your experience with purity culture?
Did you read I Kissed Dating Goodbye or grow up around its teachings?
Send me a DM on Instagram or Threads or email exhsclub@gmail.com. And don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend who might need to hear it.
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