June 26, 2023 • 26 mins
Can you imagine finding true growth and a new sense of purpose after experiencing trauma and adversity? In this heartfelt episode, I uncover the concept of Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) and how it has personally impacted my life after breaking my neck and later in life, losing my son. I kick off the show with a comforting Bible passage from 2 Corinthians 4:17, and then, I discuss the effects of trauma and the essential role professional help plays in processing the emotional baggage that often holds us back.
As I share my journey towards embracing happiness despite hardship, I explore the scientifically proven benefits of PTG, such as stronger relationships and discovering inner strength. Moreover, I encourage you to reach out with your own stories of post-traumatic growth and how you've managed to find the silver lining in the midst of adversity. Lastly, I offer a sign of hope I experienced that inspired me to look for similar hopeful signs in my own life, and I invite you to do the same. Join me in this empowering conversation and learn how to transform your pain into growth and purpose.
Disclaimer: All music played in the episode has been legally attained through a licensing agreement between Tim Maceyko and PremiumBeats.com. The Song of the Week is Happy for You by Life is an Epic Film. Additional music includes Let's Go Now by Beza and Our Time by Bex.
Host Tim Maceyko is an author, coach, and motivational speaker. His publications include "When the Cardinal Calls," "Child Loss 101," and "Seth's Snuggle Time Game," all available for purchase on Amazon. For book signings, speaking events, or media interviews, he can be reached at TimMaceyko@gmail.com.
Disclaimer: The Faith Beyond with Tim Maceyko Podcast is intended purely for informational, educational, inspirational, or entertainment purposes. The views expressed by guests are their own and may not reflect those of Faith Beyond. Listeners should independently verify any presented information and draw their own conclusions. Episodes discussing fitness and health are intended to examine various ideas that might offer health advantages. Faith Beyond with Tim Maceyko neither endorses any specific viewpoint nor advocates for any particular fitness or health regimen. It is recommended that individuals seek advice from their healthcare providers before initiating any new fitness or health plan. Comments made by host Tim Maceyko are presented to the listeners from a coaching standpoint, as he is not a licensed counselor or physician. The host's remarks are intended for inspirational and motivational purposes only.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tim Maceyko (00:01):
Beyond the pain, beyond the adversity, beyond
this life.
It's faith beyond.
Author.
Coach and faith beyond founder.
Tim Masako explores grief, loss, overcoming adversity, various
belief systems from around theworld and so much more.
The faith beyond podcast startsnow.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, Tim Maceyko here, welcome to another edition
of the faith beyond show.
I've been promising that Iwould bring the post traumatic
growth story, or information, toyou.
For several weeks I've beensaying I'm going to do that, and
so this week I'm going to dothat.
I'm going to bear down andbring to you this concept of PTG
(00:49):
, or post traumatic growth howwe can grow after the trauma,
after the adversity, after wemanage all the emotional issues
that we're going to go through.
Then the light starts to comeback in right, and so I want you
understand that, once you'rethrough that negative phase and
a little bit of light starts topeek through the clouds, there's
(01:11):
this opportunity for growth.
It's PTG.
Post traumatic growth isphenomenal, and I believe in it.
I live it every day.
I've experienced all five ofthe things that they talk about,
and so I'm going to share withyou today a little bit more
about that.
Before we get to the show itself, though, i like to kick things
(01:32):
off with either a quote or ascriptural reading or something,
just to put us in the rightframe of mind.
Right, and this week I'm goingback to the Bible and I have
current second Corinthians,chapter four, four, verse
sixteen through eighteen, ibelieve.
Well, let's just go with four,seventeen, let's leave it at
that, because I love this one,for our light and momentary
(01:56):
troubles are achieving for us aneternal glory that far
outweighs them all, for ourlight and momentary troubles are
achieving for us an eternalglory the far outweighs them all
.
So the troubles are temporary,the problems are momentary.
(02:19):
Right, we will have a glory, anopportunity that is way beyond
any of the negative experiencesin our life.
I love that, i really do.
I really do okay.
With that said, i promise youPTG, let's get down with it and
let's go let's go take a ridewith me.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Let's go say goodbye to the worries on your minds.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
So today I wanted to talk about this concept of what
life is like after we survivethe trauma, after we overcome
the extreme adversity in ourlives, like sometimes we get
stuck right, like we can't moveon.
But yet we can.
(03:13):
We just don't know how.
And so let's start with talkingabout trauma itself.
Like, what is trauma?
we're all familiar with theconcept of post traumatic stress
disorder, right, ptsd as aresult of trauma.
We hear that, like the militaryguys come back and they have
PTSD, or I went through thisevent and I have PTSD.
But it extends from this trauma, and so trauma can be things
(03:37):
like grief and loss, like, likeI deal with child loss and it
was a traumatic event that forsome people, causes PTSD and
other things.
But it could be other things,such as maybe being raped or you
have the severe drug abuse hascaused these problems in your
life, getting bullied, disease,illness, serious injury, maybe
(03:59):
you had an alcoholic mother oran abuse of father, maybe you
were kidnapped.
I mean, there's all thesedifferent things that causes
these traumatic events to occurin our lives, and it's usually
out of our control.
It's not something we wanted,but it's something we have to
live with.
But here's what?
here's what happens you havewhat, what is referred to as
(04:22):
emotional baggage as a result ofthe trauma that you faced, and
so things like insecurity, guilt.
You may feel guilty aboutwhatever trauma you went through
because it was your fault forwhatever reason, even though it
may not be, even if it is so,what at the end of the day,
though?
you hold onto this guilt, thisemotional baggage.
You might have fear.
(04:43):
You're afraid after what youwent through.
Again, that insecurity Imentioned might be insecure from
what you went through.
You have this hurt, you havethis pain like you just can't,
you can't let it go, you'restuck with it, and then you may
have this self-doubt Like I'mnot worthy, i'm not able to, i
can't do that, and so all thesethings are termed emotional
(05:09):
baggage.
And as long as we are stuck inthis place of fear, this place
of self-doubt, this insecurity,the hurt, the pain, the guilt,
all of this, when we're stuckand we can't overcome those
things, then we can't move on.
We can't.
That's where people get stuckright there, they hold on to
those things and they don'tovercome, and for some of us,
(05:33):
that means we may needcounseling, we may need
professional help.
Maybe we don't need professionalhelp, but we still need time to
deal with these emotions andthese thoughts and these
feelings and the emotionalbaggage that holds us back.
You see, these storms in ourlives really mess up our mind,
right?
I mean, if you could see inyour mind, i always picture it
(05:54):
like a hurricane came through atown and you know it knocks over
all these trees and thesebuildings along the beach and
all these different things, andthen it's total devastation,
right?
You can just picture that,right, this town destroyed along
the beachfront.
And that's kind of what yourmind is like after the trauma.
(06:16):
And obviously we'd like to getback to the sunny days, we'd
like to get back to better times, but again, we can't get there
if we're holding on to thisemotional baggage.
So what do we do?
How do we get over it?
What is the key?
Well, most of the time, again,it's counseling, professional
(06:40):
help, talking to other people.
But it's really the time right,the time to deal with whatever
emotional concepts that youmight be dealing with Now.
Today's show really wasn't abouthow we get over that, so I'm
not going to spend a lot of timeon that topic, but you've got
to give yourself some timeYou've got to deal with the
feelings, the thoughts and theemotions that you're
(07:03):
experiencing.
I am not a counselor, i am nota doctor.
I'm just a guy who's been thereand has done it and lives it
every day.
Every day, i've got to dealwith the loss of my child and
it's a difficult journey Andthat's not something you just
like let go and get over.
You just continue to workaround it and you try to learn
(07:25):
how to use the pain to advanceto better things.
But today's show is about thebenefits of PTG or post
traumatic growth.
So what is post traumaticgrowth?
Well, first of all, wementioned a little bit ago PTSD.
Everyone's familiar with posttraumatic stress disorder
(07:46):
resulting of this negativetraumatic experience you had.
But not many of us are familiarwith PTG or post traumatic
growth, which can be thepositive side of the trauma that
you faced.
Yes, there can be positives.
I mean, we don't think of that,but it's very, very possible.
(08:06):
And these are fivescientifically proven
psychological things that mayoccur in your life as a result
of the trauma that you faced,and I like these, so I want to
share them with you.
Ptg benefit number one strongerrelationships.
Relationships strengthen Now ifyou lost a child, like I have,
(08:31):
then you may value therelationships with your other
children even more, you mayrelate the relationship you have
with your spouse even moreright, but in any general terms,
you lost somebody.
You're grieving.
You may look at therelationships with those around
you differently, but you alsomay reprioritize the
(08:52):
relationships you have in yourlife, because maybe the people
you thought would be there foryou during your time of need
weren't, and maybe people younever dreamed would be there for
you in your time of need were.
And so now you have this thinggoing on in your mind where
you're re-prioritizing hey,maybe I should spend more time
(09:16):
with this person or these peopleand less time with this person
or those people.
And so post-traumatic growth,stronger relationships, can
occur, and it definitely willlease the very minimum, make you
think about those in your lifeand what those relationships
(09:36):
between you and them look like.
Benefit number two find yourinner strength.
Yeah, you find your innerstrength.
Now here's the thing you aregoing through a traumatic moment
and people love to say, oh,that person's so strong.
I wish I could be strong likethat.
The truth is, we don't feelstrong in those moments, but as
(09:58):
we recover from them as we getover the emotional baggage
that's been holding us back.
We work our way through thatright.
Then we realize that we arestronger than we ever thought
possible.
We realize that we just wentthrough something that the
average person has not and weovercame.
(10:18):
And so when the more minoradverse situations occur in our
life, we can draw strength fromthe fact that, hey, that's
nothing.
What I went through over herewas a million times worse than
this.
And so the post-traumaticgrowth benefit number two is you
find your inner strength andyou realize I am stronger than I
(10:41):
ever knew.
Post-traumatic benefit numberthree you learn to savor the
moments more.
Life is fast, right, life isfast-paced, and we go flying
through life and we don't slowdown to enjoy the here and the
now.
But after the traumatic eventthat you've gone through, you
(11:03):
learn to appreciate every moment.
For that moment You look at thesunset a little different.
You appreciate the sunrise, thefact you get to see it the next
morning.
You take a walk through natureand you tend to hear the birds
chirp a lot more than you did.
You notice the beauty of thegreen leaves on the trees and
the swain of the breeze and theflowers, moving and looking,
(11:27):
blooming and beautiful.
I can just all these thingsright.
But the point is you learn tosavor each moment, whether it's
the walk through nature Imentioned, or it's a moment in
time with someone you love, orjust watching a TV show.
Even right, anything you get todo, you have this different
view of it.
You appreciate it.
(11:49):
I remember I broke my neck.
I was in a wheelchair for anumber of months.
I learned to walk again And theother day I went out and I
actually walked and jogged.
I can't jog the whole time, itdoesn't work But I walked, slash
, jogged, five miles, five miles, which is great for me because
I hadn't exercised for like ayear.
And so the first day I go out,i got determined in my mind I'm
(12:10):
just going to do this, i'm goingto go here and go this way and
come this way and come all theway back home.
And I did it.
And here's the thing I was in awheelchair at one point in time
.
So being able to walk, slash,jog any distance is amazing, and
the fact that I was able toaccomplish five miles with my
limitations is just mind blowingto me.
(12:34):
And I savored those moments.
I savored every step.
I didn't look at it as anegative at all, i looked at it
as an accomplishment every stepI took I was closer to getting
to that next mile and it made mefeel so good because I
appreciated in ways that somemay not, some may look at it as
I have to do this.
I gotta get exercise.
(12:54):
I'm just out here trudgingalong, i'm out there going wow.
I can't believe that I'm soblessed to be able to have this
opportunity, when I may havebeen stuck in that wheelchair
like other people have.
So you savor the moments more.
Post-traumatic growth.
Benefit number four Love thisone.
Deeper spiritual connectionsmay occur.
(13:16):
A deeper spiritual connection.
Now, if you are a Christian andyou go to church every Sunday
or maybe you go once in a whilethe traumatic event may actually
convince you to go more or bemore involved than you were.
Maybe now you're giving more tothe church and you're helping
out at different events andyou're really involved.
(13:38):
Maybe you dive in the Biblemore.
Whatever it may be, but it canbe more than that too.
So for some people it means youquestion what you believed
before and you ask questions andlook at things that you never
thought you would consider,because you're searching for
this deeper spiritual connection.
(13:59):
You want to connect tosomething bigger and more
powerful, and you don'tunderstand what that is anymore,
and that's okay too.
Both scenarios are fine becauseit gives you opportunity to
grow in whatever way.
It is that you need to grow Now.
For me, i've done a lot ofstudying of different religions
(14:19):
and faith belief systems fromaround the world over the last
10 years.
I am still a Christian at mycore at least, i feel that way
but I'm also much moreprogressive in my thinking.
I can appreciate the Buddhism,i appreciate Hinduism and the
Muslim faith and the Jewishfaith.
I can look at meditation as ahuge beneficial type thing in my
(14:43):
life.
I can look at the Quran or theDaudi Ching or the Bible or the
Torah, you know.
Whatever it may be, i can usethat as a means to make my life
better, because I'm looking atit from a different view than I
ever had before.
I'm looking at it as myrelationship with God on a
(15:07):
higher level than any singlereligion, any man-made belief
system, anything like that.
I feel like God and I connectnow through nature and in ways
that I never dreamed of, andthat's what's working for me and
I'm happy there.
So, one way or another, thetraumatic event may help you
(15:29):
find a deeper spiritualconnection than you ever dreamt
possible.
Post-traumatic growth benefitnumber five.
So the last one in this is thisconcept that you're gonna go on
a new journey, a new path.
You don't have a choice.
The trauma that you wentthrough, the traumatic event,
has forced you to look at lifethrough different eyes, and so
(15:52):
now you're savoring the momentsmore and you're reevaluating
your relationships, and you are,you know, maybe having a more
spiritual awareness,self-awareness, but it doesn't
mean you wanted to go on thisnew journey.
And so you say, well, how isthat a benefit?
How is that a growth thing?
Well, here's the cool thingabout it You may not have wanted
(16:12):
to go on it, but you're on it,and what you will find, if you
really look deep inside yourself, is that you will find a new
purpose, at least potentially.
A new purpose, a new way ofthinking.
Something that you never dreamtyou would do, is now right
there for your taking, and youfeel this passion about it, you
(16:32):
feel this drawl to it.
When I broke my neck, i wentfrom being an athletic young guy
to a coach, and I becamepassionate about it.
I loved it.
It was the next best thing.
In fact, i think it was what Iwas meant to be all those years.
And now I lost my son and I'vereevaluated my faith.
And guess what?
I'm on a new path where I'vewritten books and I've taken my
(16:55):
coaching from my younger yearsand taken it off the basketball
court and off the baseball fieldAnd I'm putting it into my
faith, beyond concept, where I'mout coaching people
individually who have facedadversity, who have faced trauma
, who need to overcome andcontinue to grow.
That's my mission, that's mypassion, that's my new purpose
(17:16):
and the new journey that I'm on,and I would not have taken that
if it wasn't for the traumaticevents in my life.
And so that is a post-traumaticgrowth benefit, all right.
So get down with PTG.
Learn that once you let go ofsome of that emotional baggage,
once you can work your waythrough it again through
(17:38):
counseling, whatever you need todo, get through it, because
there are amazing benefitswaiting for you, and if you
haven't experienced them yet,they're right there.
And if you have experiencedthem, i love to hear about it.
So feel free to reach out to meand tell me how you've grown
from your traumatic experience.
All right well, i hope youenjoyed this week's
(17:58):
post-traumatic growth benefits,the PTG concepts and information
.
I'm happy to provide it to you.
Let's go ahead and take a breakhere.
And one thing, though, i wantyou to learn is to be happy.
Despite the adversity in life,there's a lot of positives, so
learn to embrace the happiness,and that's hard to do at times,
(18:20):
but I want you to think that waythis week.
In fact.
I want you to be happy, and Iwanna be happy for you, which
segues perfectly into thisweek's song of the week.
The band is.
Life is an Epic Film, and thissong is Happy for You.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Close your eyes and breathe it out.
You've been crying for sometime now.
When working hard is paying off, you just gotta seize the
moment and fly So high that youfeel like you could even touch
(18:59):
the sky.
Baby, it's time to let go andspread your wings and let them
guide you.
Now, hey, let yourself be proudof you.
Let yourself be happy for you.
Let yourself be proud of you.
(19:22):
Let yourself be happy for you,happy for you.
Looking back, you see thegrowth, how we move and find our
(19:48):
ways.
Everything that we go throughMakes us what we are today.
So fly So high that you feellike you could even touch the
sky.
Baby, it's time to let go andspread your wings and let them
(20:10):
guide you.
Now, hey, let yourself be proudof you.
Let yourself be happy for you.
Let yourself be proud of you.
Let yourself be happy for you.
Happy for you.
(20:36):
Be proud of you, proud of you,happy for you.
Be proud of you, proud of you,happy for you.
(21:03):
Let yourself be proud of you.
Let yourself be happy for you.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Happy for you.
Happy for you.
Happy for you.
Happy for you, happy for you,happy for you.
(21:48):
And it's time for your sign ofhope When the Cardinal Calls is
my book.
It's on Amazon and it shares mystories.
But one of the things thathappened I just want to share
this with you was an amazingsign of hope And hopefully you
(22:10):
can get something out of this.
After Seth had died, we wereback in our home And one
afternoon I was sitting in thelounger and I was kind of
knotting off, taking a littlebit of a nap, and my wife like
yells across the room.
She said on the sofa.
She says, hey, tim, wake up.
And I look up.
(22:34):
And she says, look, and I lookup and the ceiling fans slowly
turning.
And I said, yeah, ceiling fansturning.
What about it?
She said, well, the lightswitch is off.
They're ceiling fan switchesoff.
You know it's not turned on.
There should be no electricgetting through there.
I said, well, now hold on.
You know you're still gettingelectrical current, even if the
(22:55):
switch is off, because of youknow the, the, the, the, all
this stuff right.
And so it's all of a sudden itstops.
The fan stops moving and I goyeah there you go, see, i told
you.
And then the most amazing thinghappened The fan stopped and
then it slowly started to turnin the opposite direction.
(23:16):
Now I have no way of explaininghow that occurred that day, and
my wife just smiled and pointedagain And I I hated to admit
she had me right.
I don't know to this day howthat occurred, why that occurred
, but I believe that we all getthese signs in our lives, these
(23:38):
moments that are hard to explain, but yet, because we're humans,
we attempt to explain them away, and a lot of times we do
explain them the way, and so wemiss the sign that we were given
in that moment.
Maybe it's from your loved one,or maybe it's just God leading
you, either giving you comfortor leading you down a new path,
(24:00):
a new direction, or guiding youto an answer that you've been
searching for, but so many timeswe don't listen, we don't see
and we fail to receive themessages we are meant to.
So think about that as you goforward this week.
Look for the signs, take a walkin nature and talk to God or
(24:23):
whatever you know supreme beingthat you believe in, and see, if
you can't connect on thespiritual level that it's beyond
the norm, right?
Don't think you're a freak orweird.
Just go out and be alone andwalk through the forest or
whatever you can do.
Go down local park and justreconnect.
Put away the cell phone, putaway all the outside information
(24:47):
and people, right?
I encourage you to try to takethat walk alone.
If you can no talking, justfocus on what is around you this
week And I think you'll beamazed at what you might find.
So till next time, this isTimasiko.
Hope you enjoyed this week'sFaith Beyond Show.
(25:07):
I will leave you with this.
You can overcome any adversityin life.
Together we can overcome, wecan achieve, we can go on and do
great things with the time wehave on this earth.
So go do it.
It's your time, it's my time,it's our time, we will grow and
(25:59):
become unstoppable.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Become unstoppable.
Take our dreams and make themreal.
Cause nothing is impossible.
It's your time, it's our time.
It will make it count.
It's a life.
It's a life.
It's a little life.
We don't stop here.
(26:26):
We keep on dreaming, set thegoals and we will achieve it.
It's our time, it's our time.
It will make it count.
It's your time, it's our time.
It will make it count.
Beyond the pain, beyond the adversity, beyond
this life.
It's faith beyond.
Author.
Coach and faith beyond founder.
Tim Masako explores grief, loss, overcoming adversity, various
belief systems from around theworld and so much more.
The faith beyond podcast startsnow.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, Tim Maceyko here, welcome to another edition
of the faith beyond show.
I've been promising that Iwould bring the post traumatic
growth story, or information, toyou.
For several weeks I've beensaying I'm going to do that, and
so this week I'm going to dothat.
I'm going to bear down andbring to you this concept of PTG
(00:49):
, or post traumatic growth howwe can grow after the trauma,
after the adversity, after wemanage all the emotional issues
that we're going to go through.
Then the light starts to comeback in right, and so I want you
understand that, once you'rethrough that negative phase and
a little bit of light starts topeek through the clouds, there's
(01:11):
this opportunity for growth.
It's PTG.
Post traumatic growth isphenomenal, and I believe in it.
I live it every day.
I've experienced all five ofthe things that they talk about,
and so I'm going to share withyou today a little bit more
about that.
Before we get to the show itself, though, i like to kick things
(01:32):
off with either a quote or ascriptural reading or something,
just to put us in the rightframe of mind.
Right, and this week I'm goingback to the Bible and I have
current second Corinthians,chapter four, four, verse
sixteen through eighteen, ibelieve.
Well, let's just go with four,seventeen, let's leave it at
that, because I love this one,for our light and momentary
(01:56):
troubles are achieving for us aneternal glory that far
outweighs them all, for ourlight and momentary troubles are
achieving for us an eternalglory the far outweighs them all
.
So the troubles are temporary,the problems are momentary.
(02:19):
Right, we will have a glory, anopportunity that is way beyond
any of the negative experiencesin our life.
I love that, i really do.
I really do okay.
With that said, i promise youPTG, let's get down with it and
let's go let's go take a ridewith me.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Let's go say goodbye to the worries on your minds.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
So today I wanted to talk about this concept of what
life is like after we survivethe trauma, after we overcome
the extreme adversity in ourlives, like sometimes we get
stuck right, like we can't moveon.
But yet we can.
(03:13):
We just don't know how.
And so let's start with talkingabout trauma itself.
Like, what is trauma?
we're all familiar with theconcept of post traumatic stress
disorder, right, ptsd as aresult of trauma.
We hear that, like the militaryguys come back and they have
PTSD, or I went through thisevent and I have PTSD.
But it extends from this trauma, and so trauma can be things
(03:37):
like grief and loss, like, likeI deal with child loss and it
was a traumatic event that forsome people, causes PTSD and
other things.
But it could be other things,such as maybe being raped or you
have the severe drug abuse hascaused these problems in your
life, getting bullied, disease,illness, serious injury, maybe
(03:59):
you had an alcoholic mother oran abuse of father, maybe you
were kidnapped.
I mean, there's all thesedifferent things that causes
these traumatic events to occurin our lives, and it's usually
out of our control.
It's not something we wanted,but it's something we have to
live with.
But here's what?
here's what happens you havewhat, what is referred to as
(04:22):
emotional baggage as a result ofthe trauma that you faced, and
so things like insecurity, guilt.
You may feel guilty aboutwhatever trauma you went through
because it was your fault forwhatever reason, even though it
may not be, even if it is so,what at the end of the day,
though?
you hold onto this guilt, thisemotional baggage.
You might have fear.
(04:43):
You're afraid after what youwent through.
Again, that insecurity Imentioned might be insecure from
what you went through.
You have this hurt, you havethis pain like you just can't,
you can't let it go, you'restuck with it, and then you may
have this self-doubt Like I'mnot worthy, i'm not able to, i
can't do that, and so all thesethings are termed emotional
(05:09):
baggage.
And as long as we are stuck inthis place of fear, this place
of self-doubt, this insecurity,the hurt, the pain, the guilt,
all of this, when we're stuckand we can't overcome those
things, then we can't move on.
We can't.
That's where people get stuckright there, they hold on to
those things and they don'tovercome, and for some of us,
(05:33):
that means we may needcounseling, we may need
professional help.
Maybe we don't need professionalhelp, but we still need time to
deal with these emotions andthese thoughts and these
feelings and the emotionalbaggage that holds us back.
You see, these storms in ourlives really mess up our mind,
right?
I mean, if you could see inyour mind, i always picture it
(05:54):
like a hurricane came through atown and you know it knocks over
all these trees and thesebuildings along the beach and
all these different things, andthen it's total devastation,
right?
You can just picture that,right, this town destroyed along
the beachfront.
And that's kind of what yourmind is like after the trauma.
(06:16):
And obviously we'd like to getback to the sunny days, we'd
like to get back to better times, but again, we can't get there
if we're holding on to thisemotional baggage.
So what do we do?
How do we get over it?
What is the key?
Well, most of the time, again,it's counseling, professional
(06:40):
help, talking to other people.
But it's really the time right,the time to deal with whatever
emotional concepts that youmight be dealing with Now.
Today's show really wasn't abouthow we get over that, so I'm
not going to spend a lot of timeon that topic, but you've got
to give yourself some timeYou've got to deal with the
feelings, the thoughts and theemotions that you're
(07:03):
experiencing.
I am not a counselor, i am nota doctor.
I'm just a guy who's been thereand has done it and lives it
every day.
Every day, i've got to dealwith the loss of my child and
it's a difficult journey Andthat's not something you just
like let go and get over.
You just continue to workaround it and you try to learn
(07:25):
how to use the pain to advanceto better things.
But today's show is about thebenefits of PTG or post
traumatic growth.
So what is post traumaticgrowth?
Well, first of all, wementioned a little bit ago PTSD.
Everyone's familiar with posttraumatic stress disorder
(07:46):
resulting of this negativetraumatic experience you had.
But not many of us are familiarwith PTG or post traumatic
growth, which can be thepositive side of the trauma that
you faced.
Yes, there can be positives.
I mean, we don't think of that,but it's very, very possible.
(08:06):
And these are fivescientifically proven
psychological things that mayoccur in your life as a result
of the trauma that you faced,and I like these, so I want to
share them with you.
Ptg benefit number one strongerrelationships.
Relationships strengthen Now ifyou lost a child, like I have,
(08:31):
then you may value therelationships with your other
children even more, you mayrelate the relationship you have
with your spouse even moreright, but in any general terms,
you lost somebody.
You're grieving.
You may look at therelationships with those around
you differently, but you alsomay reprioritize the
(08:52):
relationships you have in yourlife, because maybe the people
you thought would be there foryou during your time of need
weren't, and maybe people younever dreamed would be there for
you in your time of need were.
And so now you have this thinggoing on in your mind where
you're re-prioritizing hey,maybe I should spend more time
(09:16):
with this person or these peopleand less time with this person
or those people.
And so post-traumatic growth,stronger relationships, can
occur, and it definitely willlease the very minimum, make you
think about those in your lifeand what those relationships
(09:36):
between you and them look like.
Benefit number two find yourinner strength.
Yeah, you find your innerstrength.
Now here's the thing you aregoing through a traumatic moment
and people love to say, oh,that person's so strong.
I wish I could be strong likethat.
The truth is, we don't feelstrong in those moments, but as
(09:58):
we recover from them as we getover the emotional baggage
that's been holding us back.
We work our way through thatright.
Then we realize that we arestronger than we ever thought
possible.
We realize that we just wentthrough something that the
average person has not and weovercame.
(10:18):
And so when the more minoradverse situations occur in our
life, we can draw strength fromthe fact that, hey, that's
nothing.
What I went through over herewas a million times worse than
this.
And so the post-traumaticgrowth benefit number two is you
find your inner strength andyou realize I am stronger than I
(10:41):
ever knew.
Post-traumatic benefit numberthree you learn to savor the
moments more.
Life is fast, right, life isfast-paced, and we go flying
through life and we don't slowdown to enjoy the here and the
now.
But after the traumatic eventthat you've gone through, you
(11:03):
learn to appreciate every moment.
For that moment You look at thesunset a little different.
You appreciate the sunrise, thefact you get to see it the next
morning.
You take a walk through natureand you tend to hear the birds
chirp a lot more than you did.
You notice the beauty of thegreen leaves on the trees and
the swain of the breeze and theflowers, moving and looking,
(11:27):
blooming and beautiful.
I can just all these thingsright.
But the point is you learn tosavor each moment, whether it's
the walk through nature Imentioned, or it's a moment in
time with someone you love, orjust watching a TV show.
Even right, anything you get todo, you have this different
view of it.
You appreciate it.
(11:49):
I remember I broke my neck.
I was in a wheelchair for anumber of months.
I learned to walk again And theother day I went out and I
actually walked and jogged.
I can't jog the whole time, itdoesn't work But I walked, slash
, jogged, five miles, five miles, which is great for me because
I hadn't exercised for like ayear.
And so the first day I go out,i got determined in my mind I'm
(12:10):
just going to do this, i'm goingto go here and go this way and
come this way and come all theway back home.
And I did it.
And here's the thing I was in awheelchair at one point in time
.
So being able to walk, slash,jog any distance is amazing, and
the fact that I was able toaccomplish five miles with my
limitations is just mind blowingto me.
(12:34):
And I savored those moments.
I savored every step.
I didn't look at it as anegative at all, i looked at it
as an accomplishment every stepI took I was closer to getting
to that next mile and it made mefeel so good because I
appreciated in ways that somemay not, some may look at it as
I have to do this.
I gotta get exercise.
(12:54):
I'm just out here trudgingalong, i'm out there going wow.
I can't believe that I'm soblessed to be able to have this
opportunity, when I may havebeen stuck in that wheelchair
like other people have.
So you savor the moments more.
Post-traumatic growth.
Benefit number four Love thisone.
Deeper spiritual connectionsmay occur.
(13:16):
A deeper spiritual connection.
Now, if you are a Christian andyou go to church every Sunday
or maybe you go once in a whilethe traumatic event may actually
convince you to go more or bemore involved than you were.
Maybe now you're giving more tothe church and you're helping
out at different events andyou're really involved.
(13:38):
Maybe you dive in the Biblemore.
Whatever it may be, but it canbe more than that too.
So for some people it means youquestion what you believed
before and you ask questions andlook at things that you never
thought you would consider,because you're searching for
this deeper spiritual connection.
(13:59):
You want to connect tosomething bigger and more
powerful, and you don'tunderstand what that is anymore,
and that's okay too.
Both scenarios are fine becauseit gives you opportunity to
grow in whatever way.
It is that you need to grow Now.
For me, i've done a lot ofstudying of different religions
(14:19):
and faith belief systems fromaround the world over the last
10 years.
I am still a Christian at mycore at least, i feel that way
but I'm also much moreprogressive in my thinking.
I can appreciate the Buddhism,i appreciate Hinduism and the
Muslim faith and the Jewishfaith.
I can look at meditation as ahuge beneficial type thing in my
(14:43):
life.
I can look at the Quran or theDaudi Ching or the Bible or the
Torah, you know.
Whatever it may be, i can usethat as a means to make my life
better, because I'm looking atit from a different view than I
ever had before.
I'm looking at it as myrelationship with God on a
(15:07):
higher level than any singlereligion, any man-made belief
system, anything like that.
I feel like God and I connectnow through nature and in ways
that I never dreamed of, andthat's what's working for me and
I'm happy there.
So, one way or another, thetraumatic event may help you
(15:29):
find a deeper spiritualconnection than you ever dreamt
possible.
Post-traumatic growth benefitnumber five.
So the last one in this is thisconcept that you're gonna go on
a new journey, a new path.
You don't have a choice.
The trauma that you wentthrough, the traumatic event,
has forced you to look at lifethrough different eyes, and so
(15:52):
now you're savoring the momentsmore and you're reevaluating
your relationships, and you are,you know, maybe having a more
spiritual awareness,self-awareness, but it doesn't
mean you wanted to go on thisnew journey.
And so you say, well, how isthat a benefit?
How is that a growth thing?
Well, here's the cool thingabout it You may not have wanted
(16:12):
to go on it, but you're on it,and what you will find, if you
really look deep inside yourself, is that you will find a new
purpose, at least potentially.
A new purpose, a new way ofthinking.
Something that you never dreamtyou would do, is now right
there for your taking, and youfeel this passion about it, you
(16:32):
feel this drawl to it.
When I broke my neck, i wentfrom being an athletic young guy
to a coach, and I becamepassionate about it.
I loved it.
It was the next best thing.
In fact, i think it was what Iwas meant to be all those years.
And now I lost my son and I'vereevaluated my faith.
And guess what?
I'm on a new path where I'vewritten books and I've taken my
(16:55):
coaching from my younger yearsand taken it off the basketball
court and off the baseball fieldAnd I'm putting it into my
faith, beyond concept, where I'mout coaching people
individually who have facedadversity, who have faced trauma
, who need to overcome andcontinue to grow.
That's my mission, that's mypassion, that's my new purpose
(17:16):
and the new journey that I'm on,and I would not have taken that
if it wasn't for the traumaticevents in my life.
And so that is a post-traumaticgrowth benefit, all right.
So get down with PTG.
Learn that once you let go ofsome of that emotional baggage,
once you can work your waythrough it again through
(17:38):
counseling, whatever you need todo, get through it, because
there are amazing benefitswaiting for you, and if you
haven't experienced them yet,they're right there.
And if you have experiencedthem, i love to hear about it.
So feel free to reach out to meand tell me how you've grown
from your traumatic experience.
All right well, i hope youenjoyed this week's
(17:58):
post-traumatic growth benefits,the PTG concepts and information
.
I'm happy to provide it to you.
Let's go ahead and take a breakhere.
And one thing, though, i wantyou to learn is to be happy.
Despite the adversity in life,there's a lot of positives, so
learn to embrace the happiness,and that's hard to do at times,
(18:20):
but I want you to think that waythis week.
In fact.
I want you to be happy, and Iwanna be happy for you, which
segues perfectly into thisweek's song of the week.
The band is.
Life is an Epic Film, and thissong is Happy for You.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Close your eyes and breathe it out.
You've been crying for sometime now.
When working hard is paying off, you just gotta seize the
moment and fly So high that youfeel like you could even touch
(18:59):
the sky.
Baby, it's time to let go andspread your wings and let them
guide you.
Now, hey, let yourself be proudof you.
Let yourself be happy for you.
Let yourself be proud of you.
(19:22):
Let yourself be happy for you,happy for you.
Looking back, you see thegrowth, how we move and find our
(19:48):
ways.
Everything that we go throughMakes us what we are today.
So fly So high that you feellike you could even touch the
sky.
Baby, it's time to let go andspread your wings and let them
(20:10):
guide you.
Now, hey, let yourself be proudof you.
Let yourself be happy for you.
Let yourself be proud of you.
Let yourself be happy for you.
Happy for you.
(20:36):
Be proud of you, proud of you,happy for you.
Be proud of you, proud of you,happy for you.
(21:03):
Let yourself be proud of you.
Let yourself be happy for you.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Happy for you.
Happy for you.
Happy for you.
Happy for you, happy for you,happy for you.
(21:48):
And it's time for your sign ofhope When the Cardinal Calls is
my book.
It's on Amazon and it shares mystories.
But one of the things thathappened I just want to share
this with you was an amazingsign of hope And hopefully you
(22:10):
can get something out of this.
After Seth had died, we wereback in our home And one
afternoon I was sitting in thelounger and I was kind of
knotting off, taking a littlebit of a nap, and my wife like
yells across the room.
She said on the sofa.
She says, hey, tim, wake up.
And I look up.
(22:34):
And she says, look, and I lookup and the ceiling fans slowly
turning.
And I said, yeah, ceiling fansturning.
What about it?
She said, well, the lightswitch is off.
They're ceiling fan switchesoff.
You know it's not turned on.
There should be no electricgetting through there.
I said, well, now hold on.
You know you're still gettingelectrical current, even if the
(22:55):
switch is off, because of youknow the, the, the, the, all
this stuff right.
And so it's all of a sudden itstops.
The fan stops moving and I goyeah there you go, see, i told
you.
And then the most amazing thinghappened The fan stopped and
then it slowly started to turnin the opposite direction.
(23:16):
Now I have no way of explaininghow that occurred that day, and
my wife just smiled and pointedagain And I I hated to admit
she had me right.
I don't know to this day howthat occurred, why that occurred
, but I believe that we all getthese signs in our lives, these
(23:38):
moments that are hard to explain, but yet, because we're humans,
we attempt to explain them away, and a lot of times we do
explain them the way, and so wemiss the sign that we were given
in that moment.
Maybe it's from your loved one,or maybe it's just God leading
you, either giving you comfortor leading you down a new path,
(24:00):
a new direction, or guiding youto an answer that you've been
searching for, but so many timeswe don't listen, we don't see
and we fail to receive themessages we are meant to.
So think about that as you goforward this week.
Look for the signs, take a walkin nature and talk to God or
(24:23):
whatever you know supreme beingthat you believe in, and see, if
you can't connect on thespiritual level that it's beyond
the norm, right?
Don't think you're a freak orweird.
Just go out and be alone andwalk through the forest or
whatever you can do.
Go down local park and justreconnect.
Put away the cell phone, putaway all the outside information
(24:47):
and people, right?
I encourage you to try to takethat walk alone.
If you can no talking, justfocus on what is around you this
week And I think you'll beamazed at what you might find.
So till next time, this isTimasiko.
Hope you enjoyed this week'sFaith Beyond Show.
(25:07):
I will leave you with this.
You can overcome any adversityin life.
Together we can overcome, wecan achieve, we can go on and do
great things with the time wehave on this earth.
So go do it.
It's your time, it's my time,it's our time, we will grow and
(25:59):
become unstoppable.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Become unstoppable.
Take our dreams and make themreal.
Cause nothing is impossible.
It's your time, it's our time.
It will make it count.
It's a life.
It's a life.
It's a little life.
We don't stop here.
(26:26):
We keep on dreaming, set thegoals and we will achieve it.
It's our time, it's our time.
It will make it count.
It's your time, it's our time.
It will make it count.
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