May 21, 2025 • 26 mins
Life has a way of overwhelming us—especially in seasons of loss, caregiving, and constant responsibility. In this deeply personal episode, Kristin shares heartfelt reflections following the passing of her father and explores how grief, transition, and emotional overload affect women’s mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
We dive into the critical importance of giving yourself grace, practicing self-compassion, and embracing the reality that it’s okay to not have it all together. You’ll discover practical strategies for resilience and self-care, how to release unrealistic expectations, and why healing begins with permission—permission to feel, to rest, and to put yourself on the list.
If you’ve ever felt stretched too thin or silently burdened by the weight of loss, this episode is your invitation to pause, breathe, and remember that your healing matters..
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Download My Free Joyful Living Devotional: https://kristinfitch.com/devotional
Ready to take your first step towards a more joyful, faith-filled life? Download our Reignite Your Passion...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey.
Hey.
And welcome back to Faithfield Woman.
This is your host, Kristen.
I am so glad you're here withme today.
Today is going to be a shortepisode, but I want to briefly dig
into what it looks like togive ourselves more grace and what
it looks like to have moreself acceptance and also what it
(00:23):
looks like when life justfeels like too much.
What can we do?
What are some strategies thatwe can pick up, you know, without
it being just adding to our plate.
And so I want to dig into thattoday and one of the reasons is I
just sent an email to my community.
If you're not already signedup, if you go to kristenfitch.com
(00:44):
you can get my regularencouragement and tips, things that
are filling me up and so muchmore in that regular email series.
But in that I shared withpeople a couple coaching experiences
I'm working on and I'm tryingto decide which one will roll out
first based on feedback.
(01:06):
But more importantly, I justshared a real small snippet to say
I hadn't emailed my entirecommunity via email recently.
Actually it's been a couplemonths because I have just been holding
on to trying to process lossand so I'm going to dig into that
(01:30):
a little bit more today too.
Hey friend, are you cravingdeeper faith, renewed purpose and
more joy in your everyday life?
Welcome to Faith Healed Womanpodcast that helps Christian women
grow spiritually pursue God'scalling and embrace the abundant
life he has for you.
I'm Kristin, an encourager,mentor, entrepreneur, wife and mom,
here to uplift, equip andinspire you with faith filled conversations
(01:53):
and biblical wisdom.
Subscribe now so you nevermiss an episode and join our faith
field community for more encouragement.
Okay, first I want to justcontinue with what I just shared,
which is I shared in my emailthat in the coming weeks or months
I'll share a little bit moreabout walking through the loss of
(02:15):
my dad.
Excuse me, which happened inthe beginning of February.
And then about a month or justover a month later, we did his celebration
of life and we knew hecontinued to decline.
He had Parkinson's.
In the last two and a half,three months before he passed, he
really did start declining quicker.
But then those last two weekswe went from thinking to what things
(02:39):
know, year a long time still,even though his health wasn't great,
to thinking, oh, maybe theshorter time frame to literally only
about a week before didhospice think that maybe he had very
limited time.
And so, you know, the thoughtcrossed our mind a couple weeks prior,
(03:00):
but because his health kept Declining.
We knew that at some point,you know, he.
He was just struggling.
His body and his mind wasbetraying him.
But I share all of that today.
Just to say, the last coupleof months, while I've still primarily
gotten the podcast out,there's been a couple times where
(03:21):
I didn't.
And while I've still beendoing, you know, some mentoring and
I've been doing someinterviews and other things for the
interviews of the podcast,interviews for research, and really
deciding what I'm going to.
I'm going to work with peoplethis summer and fall.
So I was just still doing things.
I was still working on somesmall initiatives, but to be honest,
(03:46):
I just found I was working inslow motion, right?
I couldn't.
Like, I could most of thetime, I couldn't get a lot done in
a day.
And it wasn't because I didn't try.
It's just.
It took longer.
I found that I needed more space.
It didn't feel like I had themotivation or the mental focus to
(04:14):
crank out more stuff.
And so I'm sharing thatbecause I think so many of us have
been here.
First of all, I've talked toso many friends around the country,
know, relatives, and then, sosome of you, so many of us, right,
especially once you hit acertain age, we've all experienced
(04:35):
the loss of someone close to us.
And so, so many of you getthis, right?
You've been there, and itlooks different, it feels different
for everyone, the time framein which we process, right, the different
stages of grief are different.
But I'm bringing this upbecause whether it's loss, grief,
(04:56):
whether it's big change inyour life, a transition, which is
jarring or maybe evenupsetting, it could be embarrassing.
You know, maybe somethinghappened, you know, in your family
or with your spouse, whoknows, right?
But it's something thatbecomes public and you maybe didn't
want it to.
And so whatever you're walkingthrough, it really takes a toll on
(05:21):
us, right?
It can take a toll on usmentally, for sure.
Physically, absolutely.
Psychologically, you know,just so many things and so.
And even spiritually.
And so what I wanted to shareabout that was I had to really give
myself grace to know that Iwasn't able to get done what I had
(05:44):
expected to get done before mydad passed.
And then even one of ourneighborhood friends passed the week
after my dad passed very unexpectedly.
And as far as we all knew,excuse me, he was in good health
until really the night beforewhen he started not feeling well.
And then one of my sister inlaw's moms passed a week after my
(06:06):
dad as well.
So there's just a lot of lossaround the same time, which I also
know people that haveexperienced that, that.
But that's the thing about life.
We don't know what's going tocome our way, right?
We don't know when we're goingto have a loss happen.
We, I mean often we don't knowwhen we're going to have a job, you
(06:31):
know, or career change.
We might get laid off, wemight lose our job, maybe we have
to move.
Financial circumstanceschanged, your marital status might
have changed.
But we have to in that momentrealize that we may need more time,
more space to just allowourselves to be right, to find ways
(06:56):
to fill ourselves up, to getinto the word more, to pray more.
But really I just had to saylike this is okay, whatever I get
done, if today doesn't feelproductive, that is okay.
Or there was a part of meright deep down that I wanted to
(07:17):
get more done, that I hadthought I would get more done right
in the first part of this year.
But I had to keep coming backto I only have to get through today.
I only have to worry abouttoday, right?
And you know, God tells us,you know, we don't want to bring
our troubles into the next day.
(07:40):
There'll be enough for today.
And you know, so one I justwant to say to you, if you are going
through a transition, maybeyou've gone through a loss recently,
something hard, right?
You just feel kind of punchedin the gut.
Are you giving yourself grace?
And what does that look like?
It looks like having moreself, self acceptance, self love.
(08:05):
It means asking for something,asking for help when you need it,
Saying sometimes, you knowwhat, I don't have the energy to
do X, Y or Z, right?
That could be going to makingdinner, whatever it might be.
It might be, you know what, wejust need to order out tonight or
we're eating leftovers again,you know, in other words, it just
(08:27):
means that we're not holdingourselves to this standard that maybe
we used to hold ourselves to.
And I think that's importantfor no matter what life looks like,
I think so many women, we holdourselves to these standards that
are very difficult to maintain.
We want to try to do it all.
(08:48):
And then we wonder why we'reexhausted, why we're still tired
mentally and physically.
But it's because one our mindnever stops with the to do's and
have to dos the let me takecare of it, let me take care of them.
I, I have to finish this.
And then physically, I talkedto so many of you and some of you
(09:11):
forget to eat, or you say, Idon't have time to go on a walk or
whatever it might be, that'sactually how we renew ourselves,
right?
We renew our bodies, we renewour mind, we reset, we are allow,
we are giving ourselves breaksto decrease our stress.
(09:32):
But if we don't, we arerisking having chronic, right, inflammation,
chronic stress, which, thoselead to more problems.
And so, so many of us don'trealize that by putting everyone
else first, we're actuallyharming ourselves.
And I'm absolutely not sayingwe should only put ourselves first.
(09:55):
What I'm saying is there hasto be a balance in that we give ourselves
what we need in order to doour best work and to be our most
loving.
And if you find that that'snot the case, you know, if you're
looking at a seesaw or a scaleand everything all day long that
you're putting onto one sideof the scale, let's say the other
(10:17):
side of the scale is what yourexpectations are for work, your home
life, right?
All your obligations, maybeyour chores, taking your kids somewhere
if they're younger, whateverit might be, if you visually think
about it, all day long you'reputting tokens in, if you will, into
the one side of the scale.
(10:38):
And the other scale is you askyourself, am I putting any tokens
in the side of the scalethat's going to refresh me, refill
me, allow me to rest so that Ican do my most loving and best work.
And if you answer no, thenthat's somewhere you're going to
(11:00):
have to start making a shift.
And of course, somewhere inthere needs to also be time, right?
To have quiet time, to havetime with God, to get into the Word.
And a lot of you are doingthat, right?
You're doing that at least fora few minutes in the morning or throughout
your day.
(11:20):
But still, it's the otherthing, right?
I love those sayings or thememes that say, like, if you don't
have, if you don't make timefor God, right, or getting in his
word, then like, what are youdoing, right?
In other words, what are wespending our time on?
Because most of us, not all ofus, have time wasters in our lives,
(11:42):
right?
And so that's the first thingis, are you giving yourself grace?
And then are you givingyourself space to listen to what
you need?
What does your body need?
What is your, what does yourmind and your heart need?
And so that's the first thingI wanted to share.
The second is, oh, andactually when I was, I was alluding
(12:05):
to the fact that chronicstress, chronic inflammation, not
ever putting tokens on our,our side, right?
Of like, what we need canreally harm us.
And I've shared some data onthat before, but I'm actually reading
two books right now.
But one is called when theBody says no by Gabor Mate.
(12:25):
And he's a doctor, I think, in Canada.
But it's an entire book aboutexploring the stress disease connection.
And he is one of the peoplethat explains that 80% of autoimmune
diseases are found or thediagnosis are in women.
And it's because we oftendon't share what our needs are.
(12:49):
We don't get our needsnecessarily met.
Always.
We don't express our feelingsand emotions, even anger.
And by anger, I don't meanlike an angry outburst.
Anger in expressing, like thisthing is frustrating me.
So in a healthy way, we mayalways seem calm and collected, but
really we're allowing for allof our feelings and emotions to be
(13:13):
repressed, right?
To be tamped down.
Problem with that is, is we'renot dealing with them.
We're not processing,processing them.
And they build up in our bodies.
And this is why I'm sayingthese things are not a joke.
Like, they matter.
He also talks in the book about.
(13:33):
So he doesn't just talk aboutautoimmune diseases, he talks about
cancer.
He talks about other major illnesses.
But there's actually they'vedone studies.
And first of all, let me be clear.
We can get many diseases anddiagnoses from many things, right?
A lot of us were all exposedto toxins, but some of us are exposed
(13:54):
to more than others.
Yes, there can be sometimesgenetic components, but he says in
many cases, people that havecancer or other chronic illnesses,
they have certaincharacteristics about their childhood,
(14:14):
things that have happened tothem in their lives, and then how
they handle things.
For instance, how they handletheir emotions and their feelings,
repressing things.
And also, often when someonegets a major diagnosis, there is
a trigger, like a finaltrigger or straw that got broken,
(14:36):
right?
Like something major happened,a huge stress in someone's life.
And it's kind of like that'sthe final click or straw that kind
of makes that stress diseaseconnection fall into place.
And we have this.
We start having major issues.
And so obviously, I haven'tfinished the book yet, and it's a
(14:58):
great book if you'reinterested in that topic.
But I bring that up to saythat work of understanding how to
find daily ways to relieve stress.
Doing the work, to startexpressing ourselves, doing the work
to, to understand how to in ahealthy way express, express our
(15:22):
feelings and emotions.
To address the things in ourlife that maybe we've repressed,
right?
That might even berelationships with people that are
close to us, that we have justnot said what we need to say.
And so just the more Iresearch this, the more that I, right,
(15:42):
live my life, I see it, I'munderstanding it so much more.
And I think as women, we justdo so much that we just keep doing
things the way we've done them.
Unless it hits a head, right?
It comes to a head where weare, we feel so terrible that we
decide to address it.
(16:03):
I want you to address thingsbefore that happens, right?
I want to address them now,not one day when I have no choice.
And so that's the other thingI wanted to share today with you
as well.
And I think the last thing isso many women I talk to as we hit
(16:25):
a certain age, right?
It could be 40, it could be50, it could be 60, you know, maybe
you're younger, mid-30s orolder listening to this.
But we sometimes think, ah,well, you know, I thought maybe I
would do this one day or Iwould love to do this.
We let fear hold us.
Black and I had written aquote or a statement the other day.
(16:50):
It was, I saw something alittle bit similar to it, but I created
my own, you know, graphic and concept.
But basically it says, let mesee if I can pull it up.
It says fear says, oh, here itis, sorry.
Fear says, what if?
Faith says even if.
And then I said, when we shiftour thinking from what if this happens
(17:14):
or doesn't happen to even ifthis does or doesn't happen, that
all things work for good withGod and our life will be changed.
So my question is, are weliving a what if life?
And, and by what if?
We can reframe, and I'vetalked to us where we can reframe
the what if to be positive, right?
(17:36):
To be an expecting what if?
Like, what if this works out?
But if we're being honest,most of us use what if statements
for like, what if somethingbad happened?
What if I get embarrassed?
What if I get laughed at?
What if I don't get the job, right?
So a lot of us, we'reoperating out of fear from some,
(18:01):
at some level.
Now sometimes that fear is sodeep seated, right?
It's subconscious and it's,it's something that we don't even
realize is happening.
Meaning maybe we really feellike we need validation from people.
And so if we don't get it, wefeel like it's a chink in our armor.
Like maybe we're beingrejected or we aren't really loved
(18:23):
by people or are we worthy enough?
Enough.
Can we do enough?
Right.
Like, maybe we feel like wehave to achieve more, we have to
perform.
And so what ifs?
If we find ourselves in thewhat if kind of spiral, if we find
ourselves in this, the thingthat we're operating from is a negative.
(18:47):
Meaning, like, I'm afraid todo it.
I'm afraid to put myself out there.
You know, let's say you're single.
I'm afraid to put myself outthere because what if this doesn't
work out?
What if I don't meet somebody?
Maybe I'll look silly standingat the.
The mixer.
You know, maybe it's thatyou're going back into the workforce
or you're changing careers and you're.
(19:09):
You're just afraid you're notgoing to have what it takes.
But what if we shifted that, right?
From what I said, the what if,to even if.
Even if it doesn't work out, Iwill be okay.
Even if I don't get thepromotion, like, it will be okay
(19:32):
even if it doesn't work outfor me today.
Right.
Like, if we can flip it, if wecan start understanding that even
if we feel like there's adisappointment, even if there is
a loss, even if we have areally hard day, even if those things
happen.
(19:53):
Two things.
One, God is working for ourgood, for his good, right?
But he's weaving our storyinto a bigger story, and he is with
us.
And so if we can just rememberthat we.
Sometimes we can get so caughtup in the moment.
But.
But we're not really.
It's not so much in themoment, because if we're truly present,
(20:14):
we will see the gift in that moment.
Right?
Maybe we're going to learn something.
Maybe we have an encounterwith somebody.
Right?
Right.
Or a conversation that shiftsthe course for us.
Right.
Maybe the job we're applyingfor is not the real right job, the
right path for us at that moment.
Maybe we're not ready for it.
Maybe we're in a season of preparation.
So we just have to rememberthat even if today I don't understand
(20:38):
why something didn't go theway we wanted.
It doesn't mean that that is bad.
It doesn't mean that we shouldstart feeling afraid to try something
else.
And so I just want toencourage you in that way.
And so I know today was alittle less concise of an episode.
(21:00):
It was more just sharing alittle bit about what was on my heart
and what I've been working on.
And I did want to let you knowthat I am beta testing three different
coaching experiences and I'mgoing to launch one of them very
soon coming up later thismonth or early June.
And two of them are absolutelytied to what I talked about today.
(21:22):
So the first one is calledMidlife Energy Reset.
But it's really about helpingwomen 40 plus or 35 plus who've been
running on autopilot neglect,neglecting their needs or maybe they
feel drained and stretched toothin by helping you, if that's you
feel up to 50% more energizedand clear so that you can have be
(21:47):
fully present and you for yourwork and your family and yourselves.
Because I have talked to a lotof women and they are just worn out
because they're doing all thethings and it's time that we take
the steps, we learn the habitsand shift our day a little bit so
(22:07):
that we can feel better.
And these are simple thingsthat you can implement in your life.
But it's going to be holistic.
So we're going to address themental, physical and spiritual aspects
of why we feel so worn out andwe're lacking energy.
Right.
Or we're lacking clarity inour brains because we're just done
by the end of the day.
We just have to fit decision fatigue.
(22:28):
But if this it sounds likeyou, if you can relate to that, then
in my show notes I have a linkit talks more about this and you
can click into it'll give youan interest form and it will just
tell you a little bit moreabout it and it'll ask you a couple
questions because thatfeedback will really help me.
Also on my website,KristinFitch.com freebies I actually
(22:49):
have a five day energy resetthat you can download and it's just
six easy daily habits that youcan implement into your life to start
building your energy back.
So the next thing that I'mworking on in trying to see if which
one I have the most interestin right now is express yourself,
reignite your passion and findyour voice again.
(23:13):
And so this is for women thatmaybe after once again taking care
of everyone else's needs,maybe pausing something that when
you were younger you thoughtyou might do or maybe dreams you've
had but you've just put onhold and you thought I don't know
if I'm going to get to this again.
Or maybe you've always beenthe peacekeeper in your family.
(23:34):
Maybe you've always been theone that holds, you're the glue,
you hold everyone together.
Well, there is realconsequences if we don't learn to
balance that, if we don'tlearn how to have self expression
and how to in a healthy way beclear and express our needs and our
(23:55):
desires and be reallyintentional with our lives.
So this is, you know, onceagain we're going to address how
do we take bold steps, how dowe find creative ways to express
ourselves.
This is really just going tobe a self expression activation series.
And of course both of myseries have faith tied into them.
(24:18):
So if that's of interest toyou, in my show notes I have a little
bit more about this and then alink with an interest form as well
so that you can learn a littlebit more about it.
And if you're up for it, fillout a couple questions so that I
can get some feedback aboutwhat people are really wanting.
And lastly, if you're somebodythat neither of those fit but you're
(24:38):
interested in trying to start,you know, see if one of your ideas
or a skill that you have haswhat it takes to become that you
can make money on it.
Then I'm going to launchCreative Income Coach Studio.
So it's going to be a fourweek program where we work in a group
(24:59):
setting and I help peoplevalidate an idea or a skill and then
kind of test it out with a fewpeople or a workshop or a digital
project product and see if wecan launch it into the world in the
very simplest of terms.
We're not trying to figure outall the things we are literally going
to do, only the things thatyou have to do in order to gain some
(25:24):
confidence and really vet outvery simple concept or idea.
So that's it.
But anyways, I just wanted toleave you with those things and like
I said, I'd love feedback fromyou all because you clicking on those
links and giving me feedback,it makes a world of difference.
(25:44):
So that I know what you whatto offer in the coming months so
that those of you that areinterested in it can learn more and
can sign up if that's whatwhat you'd like to do, if you'd like
to work with me in that way.
So until next time, I hope youhave a blessed and beautiful holiday.
I hope that we all rememberthose of us in the US all the people
(26:07):
that have lost their lives forprotecting our country right as we
go into Memorial Day and forall the families that sacrificed
as well for the people thathave lost their lives in serving
our country.
So until next time, thanksagain for listening to the show and
if you enjoyed today'sepisode, we would love it if you
could take a minute to leave arating and review on Apple podcast
(26:29):
because it helps our show getdiscovered by more people.
Hey.
Hey.
And welcome back to Faithfield Woman.
This is your host, Kristen.
I am so glad you're here withme today.
Today is going to be a shortepisode, but I want to briefly dig
into what it looks like togive ourselves more grace and what
it looks like to have moreself acceptance and also what it
(00:23):
looks like when life justfeels like too much.
What can we do?
What are some strategies thatwe can pick up, you know, without
it being just adding to our plate.
And so I want to dig into thattoday and one of the reasons is I
just sent an email to my community.
If you're not already signedup, if you go to kristenfitch.com
(00:44):
you can get my regularencouragement and tips, things that
are filling me up and so muchmore in that regular email series.
But in that I shared withpeople a couple coaching experiences
I'm working on and I'm tryingto decide which one will roll out
first based on feedback.
(01:06):
But more importantly, I justshared a real small snippet to say
I hadn't emailed my entirecommunity via email recently.
Actually it's been a couplemonths because I have just been holding
on to trying to process lossand so I'm going to dig into that
(01:30):
a little bit more today too.
Hey friend, are you cravingdeeper faith, renewed purpose and
more joy in your everyday life?
Welcome to Faith Healed Womanpodcast that helps Christian women
grow spiritually pursue God'scalling and embrace the abundant
life he has for you.
I'm Kristin, an encourager,mentor, entrepreneur, wife and mom,
here to uplift, equip andinspire you with faith filled conversations
(01:53):
and biblical wisdom.
Subscribe now so you nevermiss an episode and join our faith
field community for more encouragement.
Okay, first I want to justcontinue with what I just shared,
which is I shared in my emailthat in the coming weeks or months
I'll share a little bit moreabout walking through the loss of
(02:15):
my dad.
Excuse me, which happened inthe beginning of February.
And then about a month or justover a month later, we did his celebration
of life and we knew hecontinued to decline.
He had Parkinson's.
In the last two and a half,three months before he passed, he
really did start declining quicker.
But then those last two weekswe went from thinking to what things
(02:39):
know, year a long time still,even though his health wasn't great,
to thinking, oh, maybe theshorter time frame to literally only
about a week before didhospice think that maybe he had very
limited time.
And so, you know, the thoughtcrossed our mind a couple weeks prior,
(03:00):
but because his health kept Declining.
We knew that at some point,you know, he.
He was just struggling.
His body and his mind wasbetraying him.
But I share all of that today.
Just to say, the last coupleof months, while I've still primarily
gotten the podcast out,there's been a couple times where
(03:21):
I didn't.
And while I've still beendoing, you know, some mentoring and
I've been doing someinterviews and other things for the
interviews of the podcast,interviews for research, and really
deciding what I'm going to.
I'm going to work with peoplethis summer and fall.
So I was just still doing things.
I was still working on somesmall initiatives, but to be honest,
(03:46):
I just found I was working inslow motion, right?
I couldn't.
Like, I could most of thetime, I couldn't get a lot done in
a day.
And it wasn't because I didn't try.
It's just.
It took longer.
I found that I needed more space.
It didn't feel like I had themotivation or the mental focus to
(04:14):
crank out more stuff.
And so I'm sharing thatbecause I think so many of us have
been here.
First of all, I've talked toso many friends around the country,
know, relatives, and then, sosome of you, so many of us, right,
especially once you hit acertain age, we've all experienced
(04:35):
the loss of someone close to us.
And so, so many of you getthis, right?
You've been there, and itlooks different, it feels different
for everyone, the time framein which we process, right, the different
stages of grief are different.
But I'm bringing this upbecause whether it's loss, grief,
(04:56):
whether it's big change inyour life, a transition, which is
jarring or maybe evenupsetting, it could be embarrassing.
You know, maybe somethinghappened, you know, in your family
or with your spouse, whoknows, right?
But it's something thatbecomes public and you maybe didn't
want it to.
And so whatever you're walkingthrough, it really takes a toll on
(05:21):
us, right?
It can take a toll on usmentally, for sure.
Physically, absolutely.
Psychologically, you know,just so many things and so.
And even spiritually.
And so what I wanted to shareabout that was I had to really give
myself grace to know that Iwasn't able to get done what I had
(05:44):
expected to get done before mydad passed.
And then even one of ourneighborhood friends passed the week
after my dad passed very unexpectedly.
And as far as we all knew,excuse me, he was in good health
until really the night beforewhen he started not feeling well.
And then one of my sister inlaw's moms passed a week after my
(06:06):
dad as well.
So there's just a lot of lossaround the same time, which I also
know people that haveexperienced that, that.
But that's the thing about life.
We don't know what's going tocome our way, right?
We don't know when we're goingto have a loss happen.
We, I mean often we don't knowwhen we're going to have a job, you
(06:31):
know, or career change.
We might get laid off, wemight lose our job, maybe we have
to move.
Financial circumstanceschanged, your marital status might
have changed.
But we have to in that momentrealize that we may need more time,
more space to just allowourselves to be right, to find ways
(06:56):
to fill ourselves up, to getinto the word more, to pray more.
But really I just had to saylike this is okay, whatever I get
done, if today doesn't feelproductive, that is okay.
Or there was a part of meright deep down that I wanted to
(07:17):
get more done, that I hadthought I would get more done right
in the first part of this year.
But I had to keep coming backto I only have to get through today.
I only have to worry abouttoday, right?
And you know, God tells us,you know, we don't want to bring
our troubles into the next day.
(07:40):
There'll be enough for today.
And you know, so one I justwant to say to you, if you are going
through a transition, maybeyou've gone through a loss recently,
something hard, right?
You just feel kind of punchedin the gut.
Are you giving yourself grace?
And what does that look like?
It looks like having moreself, self acceptance, self love.
(08:05):
It means asking for something,asking for help when you need it,
Saying sometimes, you knowwhat, I don't have the energy to
do X, Y or Z, right?
That could be going to makingdinner, whatever it might be.
It might be, you know what, wejust need to order out tonight or
we're eating leftovers again,you know, in other words, it just
(08:27):
means that we're not holdingourselves to this standard that maybe
we used to hold ourselves to.
And I think that's importantfor no matter what life looks like,
I think so many women, we holdourselves to these standards that
are very difficult to maintain.
We want to try to do it all.
(08:48):
And then we wonder why we'reexhausted, why we're still tired
mentally and physically.
But it's because one our mindnever stops with the to do's and
have to dos the let me takecare of it, let me take care of them.
I, I have to finish this.
And then physically, I talkedto so many of you and some of you
(09:11):
forget to eat, or you say, Idon't have time to go on a walk or
whatever it might be, that'sactually how we renew ourselves,
right?
We renew our bodies, we renewour mind, we reset, we are allow,
we are giving ourselves breaksto decrease our stress.
(09:32):
But if we don't, we arerisking having chronic, right, inflammation,
chronic stress, which, thoselead to more problems.
And so, so many of us don'trealize that by putting everyone
else first, we're actuallyharming ourselves.
And I'm absolutely not sayingwe should only put ourselves first.
(09:55):
What I'm saying is there hasto be a balance in that we give ourselves
what we need in order to doour best work and to be our most
loving.
And if you find that that'snot the case, you know, if you're
looking at a seesaw or a scaleand everything all day long that
you're putting onto one sideof the scale, let's say the other
(10:17):
side of the scale is what yourexpectations are for work, your home
life, right?
All your obligations, maybeyour chores, taking your kids somewhere
if they're younger, whateverit might be, if you visually think
about it, all day long you'reputting tokens in, if you will, into
the one side of the scale.
(10:38):
And the other scale is you askyourself, am I putting any tokens
in the side of the scalethat's going to refresh me, refill
me, allow me to rest so that Ican do my most loving and best work.
And if you answer no, thenthat's somewhere you're going to
(11:00):
have to start making a shift.
And of course, somewhere inthere needs to also be time, right?
To have quiet time, to havetime with God, to get into the Word.
And a lot of you are doingthat, right?
You're doing that at least fora few minutes in the morning or throughout
your day.
(11:20):
But still, it's the otherthing, right?
I love those sayings or thememes that say, like, if you don't
have, if you don't make timefor God, right, or getting in his
word, then like, what are youdoing, right?
In other words, what are wespending our time on?
Because most of us, not all ofus, have time wasters in our lives,
(11:42):
right?
And so that's the first thingis, are you giving yourself grace?
And then are you givingyourself space to listen to what
you need?
What does your body need?
What is your, what does yourmind and your heart need?
And so that's the first thingI wanted to share.
The second is, oh, andactually when I was, I was alluding
(12:05):
to the fact that chronicstress, chronic inflammation, not
ever putting tokens on our,our side, right?
Of like, what we need canreally harm us.
And I've shared some data onthat before, but I'm actually reading
two books right now.
But one is called when theBody says no by Gabor Mate.
(12:25):
And he's a doctor, I think, in Canada.
But it's an entire book aboutexploring the stress disease connection.
And he is one of the peoplethat explains that 80% of autoimmune
diseases are found or thediagnosis are in women.
And it's because we oftendon't share what our needs are.
(12:49):
We don't get our needsnecessarily met.
Always.
We don't express our feelingsand emotions, even anger.
And by anger, I don't meanlike an angry outburst.
Anger in expressing, like thisthing is frustrating me.
So in a healthy way, we mayalways seem calm and collected, but
really we're allowing for allof our feelings and emotions to be
(13:13):
repressed, right?
To be tamped down.
Problem with that is, is we'renot dealing with them.
We're not processing,processing them.
And they build up in our bodies.
And this is why I'm sayingthese things are not a joke.
Like, they matter.
He also talks in the book about.
(13:33):
So he doesn't just talk aboutautoimmune diseases, he talks about
cancer.
He talks about other major illnesses.
But there's actually they'vedone studies.
And first of all, let me be clear.
We can get many diseases anddiagnoses from many things, right?
A lot of us were all exposedto toxins, but some of us are exposed
(13:54):
to more than others.
Yes, there can be sometimesgenetic components, but he says in
many cases, people that havecancer or other chronic illnesses,
they have certaincharacteristics about their childhood,
(14:14):
things that have happened tothem in their lives, and then how
they handle things.
For instance, how they handletheir emotions and their feelings,
repressing things.
And also, often when someonegets a major diagnosis, there is
a trigger, like a finaltrigger or straw that got broken,
(14:36):
right?
Like something major happened,a huge stress in someone's life.
And it's kind of like that'sthe final click or straw that kind
of makes that stress diseaseconnection fall into place.
And we have this.
We start having major issues.
And so obviously, I haven'tfinished the book yet, and it's a
(14:58):
great book if you'reinterested in that topic.
But I bring that up to saythat work of understanding how to
find daily ways to relieve stress.
Doing the work, to startexpressing ourselves, doing the work
to, to understand how to in ahealthy way express, express our
(15:22):
feelings and emotions.
To address the things in ourlife that maybe we've repressed,
right?
That might even berelationships with people that are
close to us, that we have justnot said what we need to say.
And so just the more Iresearch this, the more that I, right,
(15:42):
live my life, I see it, I'munderstanding it so much more.
And I think as women, we justdo so much that we just keep doing
things the way we've done them.
Unless it hits a head, right?
It comes to a head where weare, we feel so terrible that we
decide to address it.
(16:03):
I want you to address thingsbefore that happens, right?
I want to address them now,not one day when I have no choice.
And so that's the other thingI wanted to share today with you
as well.
And I think the last thing isso many women I talk to as we hit
(16:25):
a certain age, right?
It could be 40, it could be50, it could be 60, you know, maybe
you're younger, mid-30s orolder listening to this.
But we sometimes think, ah,well, you know, I thought maybe I
would do this one day or Iwould love to do this.
We let fear hold us.
Black and I had written aquote or a statement the other day.
(16:50):
It was, I saw something alittle bit similar to it, but I created
my own, you know, graphic and concept.
But basically it says, let mesee if I can pull it up.
It says fear says, oh, here itis, sorry.
Fear says, what if?
Faith says even if.
And then I said, when we shiftour thinking from what if this happens
(17:14):
or doesn't happen to even ifthis does or doesn't happen, that
all things work for good withGod and our life will be changed.
So my question is, are weliving a what if life?
And, and by what if?
We can reframe, and I'vetalked to us where we can reframe
the what if to be positive, right?
(17:36):
To be an expecting what if?
Like, what if this works out?
But if we're being honest,most of us use what if statements
for like, what if somethingbad happened?
What if I get embarrassed?
What if I get laughed at?
What if I don't get the job, right?
So a lot of us, we'reoperating out of fear from some,
(18:01):
at some level.
Now sometimes that fear is sodeep seated, right?
It's subconscious and it's,it's something that we don't even
realize is happening.
Meaning maybe we really feellike we need validation from people.
And so if we don't get it, wefeel like it's a chink in our armor.
Like maybe we're beingrejected or we aren't really loved
(18:23):
by people or are we worthy enough?
Enough.
Can we do enough?
Right.
Like, maybe we feel like wehave to achieve more, we have to
perform.
And so what ifs?
If we find ourselves in thewhat if kind of spiral, if we find
ourselves in this, the thingthat we're operating from is a negative.
(18:47):
Meaning, like, I'm afraid todo it.
I'm afraid to put myself out there.
You know, let's say you're single.
I'm afraid to put myself outthere because what if this doesn't
work out?
What if I don't meet somebody?
Maybe I'll look silly standingat the.
The mixer.
You know, maybe it's thatyou're going back into the workforce
or you're changing careers and you're.
(19:09):
You're just afraid you're notgoing to have what it takes.
But what if we shifted that, right?
From what I said, the what if,to even if.
Even if it doesn't work out, Iwill be okay.
Even if I don't get thepromotion, like, it will be okay
(19:32):
even if it doesn't work outfor me today.
Right.
Like, if we can flip it, if wecan start understanding that even
if we feel like there's adisappointment, even if there is
a loss, even if we have areally hard day, even if those things
happen.
(19:53):
Two things.
One, God is working for ourgood, for his good, right?
But he's weaving our storyinto a bigger story, and he is with
us.
And so if we can just rememberthat we.
Sometimes we can get so caughtup in the moment.
But.
But we're not really.
It's not so much in themoment, because if we're truly present,
(20:14):
we will see the gift in that moment.
Right?
Maybe we're going to learn something.
Maybe we have an encounterwith somebody.
Right?
Right.
Or a conversation that shiftsthe course for us.
Right.
Maybe the job we're applyingfor is not the real right job, the
right path for us at that moment.
Maybe we're not ready for it.
Maybe we're in a season of preparation.
So we just have to rememberthat even if today I don't understand
(20:38):
why something didn't go theway we wanted.
It doesn't mean that that is bad.
It doesn't mean that we shouldstart feeling afraid to try something
else.
And so I just want toencourage you in that way.
And so I know today was alittle less concise of an episode.
(21:00):
It was more just sharing alittle bit about what was on my heart
and what I've been working on.
And I did want to let you knowthat I am beta testing three different
coaching experiences and I'mgoing to launch one of them very
soon coming up later thismonth or early June.
And two of them are absolutelytied to what I talked about today.
(21:22):
So the first one is calledMidlife Energy Reset.
But it's really about helpingwomen 40 plus or 35 plus who've been
running on autopilot neglect,neglecting their needs or maybe they
feel drained and stretched toothin by helping you, if that's you
feel up to 50% more energizedand clear so that you can have be
(21:47):
fully present and you for yourwork and your family and yourselves.
Because I have talked to a lotof women and they are just worn out
because they're doing all thethings and it's time that we take
the steps, we learn the habitsand shift our day a little bit so
(22:07):
that we can feel better.
And these are simple thingsthat you can implement in your life.
But it's going to be holistic.
So we're going to address themental, physical and spiritual aspects
of why we feel so worn out andwe're lacking energy.
Right.
Or we're lacking clarity inour brains because we're just done
by the end of the day.
We just have to fit decision fatigue.
(22:28):
But if this it sounds likeyou, if you can relate to that, then
in my show notes I have a linkit talks more about this and you
can click into it'll give youan interest form and it will just
tell you a little bit moreabout it and it'll ask you a couple
questions because thatfeedback will really help me.
Also on my website,KristinFitch.com freebies I actually
(22:49):
have a five day energy resetthat you can download and it's just
six easy daily habits that youcan implement into your life to start
building your energy back.
So the next thing that I'mworking on in trying to see if which
one I have the most interestin right now is express yourself,
reignite your passion and findyour voice again.
(23:13):
And so this is for women thatmaybe after once again taking care
of everyone else's needs,maybe pausing something that when
you were younger you thoughtyou might do or maybe dreams you've
had but you've just put onhold and you thought I don't know
if I'm going to get to this again.
Or maybe you've always beenthe peacekeeper in your family.
(23:34):
Maybe you've always been theone that holds, you're the glue,
you hold everyone together.
Well, there is realconsequences if we don't learn to
balance that, if we don'tlearn how to have self expression
and how to in a healthy way beclear and express our needs and our
(23:55):
desires and be reallyintentional with our lives.
So this is, you know, onceagain we're going to address how
do we take bold steps, how dowe find creative ways to express
ourselves.
This is really just going tobe a self expression activation series.
And of course both of myseries have faith tied into them.
(24:18):
So if that's of interest toyou, in my show notes I have a little
bit more about this and then alink with an interest form as well
so that you can learn a littlebit more about it.
And if you're up for it, fillout a couple questions so that I
can get some feedback aboutwhat people are really wanting.
And lastly, if you're somebodythat neither of those fit but you're
(24:38):
interested in trying to start,you know, see if one of your ideas
or a skill that you have haswhat it takes to become that you
can make money on it.
Then I'm going to launchCreative Income Coach Studio.
So it's going to be a fourweek program where we work in a group
(24:59):
setting and I help peoplevalidate an idea or a skill and then
kind of test it out with a fewpeople or a workshop or a digital
project product and see if wecan launch it into the world in the
very simplest of terms.
We're not trying to figure outall the things we are literally going
to do, only the things thatyou have to do in order to gain some
(25:24):
confidence and really vet outvery simple concept or idea.
So that's it.
But anyways, I just wanted toleave you with those things and like
I said, I'd love feedback fromyou all because you clicking on those
links and giving me feedback,it makes a world of difference.
(25:44):
So that I know what you whatto offer in the coming months so
that those of you that areinterested in it can learn more and
can sign up if that's whatwhat you'd like to do, if you'd like
to work with me in that way.
So until next time, I hope youhave a blessed and beautiful holiday.
I hope that we all rememberthose of us in the US all the people
(26:07):
that have lost their lives forprotecting our country right as we
go into Memorial Day and forall the families that sacrificed
as well for the people thathave lost their lives in serving
our country.
So until next time, thanksagain for listening to the show and
if you enjoyed today'sepisode, we would love it if you
could take a minute to leave arating and review on Apple podcast
(26:29):
because it helps our show getdiscovered by more people.
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