May 18, 2025 • 22 mins
Have you ever felt like your life was spiraling out of control despite your best efforts to keep everything balanced? I certainly did – juggling roles as CEO, mother, wife, ministry leader, and student while spending 13-15 hours at work daily. My pursuit of balance led to a shocking wake-up call when stress paralyzed my body, forcing me to reconsider everything.
That traumatic experience revealed a profound truth: the very concept of balance was my problem. When we're constantly trying to balance everything, something inevitably falls out of balance – usually ourselves. After my health crisis, I discovered a revolutionary perspective. Life isn't meant to be balanced; it's meant to be harmonious.
Think of harmony like an orchestra where each instrument plays its part at the right time, creating beautiful music together. Or consider a swing set – when properly assembled with every piece in its correct place, it moves smoothly. Similarly, harmonious living doesn't mean abandoning responsibilities but giving each aspect of life its proper place and timing. This shift transformed my approach to my multiple roles without abandoning any of them.
For women, especially, the pressure to balance everything perfectly creates dangerous levels of stress that can manifest as serious health problems. Living harmoniously means establishing boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and recognizing when something needs adjustment. It requires regular maintenance as life circumstances change, but the rewards are immeasurable – reduced stress, better health, and a more fulfilling existence.
This revelation has become my guidepost for living unapologetically. By choosing harmony over balance, I've created a life that honors my commitments while protecting my well-being. What area of your life needs more harmony right now?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are listening to Faith Unmuted.
The place where Christian womenget the opportunity to press
the button and say what theywant, how they want and exactly
how they feel.
The one place where, together,we can collectively walk through
our truths, liveunapologetically and stop hiding
.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
There was a time in my life that I was so out of
balance.
I, of course, was a mother, awife, my husband and I are in
ministry, I was a CEO, and Ifelt as if my life was just
going in so many differentdirections.
(00:58):
I decided during this time thatto go back to school to get
another degree, decided duringthis time that to go back to
school to get another degree and, you know, thought I was doing
the right thing, and I guess itwas.
You know, I completed it, butthings were just so busy and
just so out of whack.
(01:20):
I remember that I felt like mywhole life was falling apart all
around me.
Have you ever, you know, beenin a place where you're doing so
much?
You're, as my dad would call it, you're the chief cook and
(01:43):
bottle washer and you're doingeverything and after a while you
just become so exhausted,because you're the last person
that you look at, because you'retaking care of everything else,
that you just begin to fallapart.
I just got so stressed out.
I was spending like 13, 14, 15hours at work and then, of
(02:03):
course, supporting my husband inministry.
Then we've got the children,you know, and we've got sports
activities, you know glee clublet's say they weren't a part of
the glee club, but you know allthe clubs after school and and
just being there for them,because at this point they're
all teenagers and y'all.
You know you have to be verypresent for your teenagers and
at the time my husband was stillin the military.
(02:23):
You know you have to be verypresent for your teenagers and
at the time my husband was stillin the military, you know.
And so there was just so much,and I'm trying to show up for
everyone and so everything wasout of balance for me, just
every.
It just got out of balance.
And I remember one night layingon the couch and I just began to
(02:46):
look at my life and I began tothink what am I doing?
Things just weren't going theway I expected it to go After
I'd worked so hard and you know,doing everything, I've given
everything to everyone, and yetit seems like it was just
falling apart.
I was trying to control toomuch all at one time.
(03:08):
My, what I thought at the timewas what I needed to do to keep
everything in balance, right,balance.
I want to say that when you'rekeeping, when you're trying to
create balance in your life,then something then has to be
out of balance, right.
And so while I'm trying tocreate all of this balance in my
(03:29):
life, doing a hundred, you know, ceo, mother, woman in ministry
, wife, you know, doing all ofthese different things I've got,
you know, I'm a.
I'm a professor, right, andthen, as an adjunct professor,
I'm teaching, I'm in school,doing all these things.
The kids have everything, andI'm trying to keep everything in
(03:51):
balance.
But when you're trying to doeverything and keep everything
in balance, something has to beout of balance.
Out of balance.
The thing that was out ofbalance for me was me.
While I was doing everythingelse, I was neglecting myself, I
was neglecting my health.
(04:13):
I gained so much weight keepingeverything in balance.
If you saw pictures of me, thenyou would say, oh, my gosh,
yeah, you might not evenrecognize me.
Sometimes I look at thosepictures and I won't even
recognize me.
Okay, so it was.
(04:33):
It was so bad that one night I'mlaying on my couch again and
I'm looking.
I'm saying, gosh, what is itthat really needs to change in
my life?
And, quite honestly, what couldI change?
I can't stop being a mother,Can't stop being a wife, I can't
stop being in ministry.
You know I can't stop and quitmy job and not be a CEO anymore.
(04:53):
Right, I can't.
You know, how could I stopbeing chief cook and bottle
washer?
How could I stop being that?
And I just didn't know how Iended up falling asleep on the
couch, you know, and I wake upthe next morning and Jonathan
comes to to wake, to wake me upbecause I just needed to be by
(05:16):
myself.
You know, have you ever hadthose days to where you know
what?
I just need to be by myself.
I just, I just need to think, Ijust need to process, and I
don't want to be bothered, youknow, and so I did.
I just laid on that couch thewhole night, just honestly, I
think, just feeling sorry formyself.
You know, I'm doing all thesethings and no one is helping me
(05:44):
and no one is showing up for me,and you know all these kind of.
You know I'm doing this.
I'm at work, you know, not justeight hour days, I'm at work 10
, 11, 12 hour days, and then Istill have to run home and
prepare dinner and do all ofthese different things, and I
was just having a pity party.
And the next morning I woke upand I went to get up.
(06:06):
Jonathan came to get me and Iwent to get up off of the couch
and I couldn't move.
I couldn't move, I wasparalyzed.
I started screaming, sayingJonathan, I can't move, what's
(06:32):
going on?
I can't move, I can't move.
We called the doctor, he did.
We called the doctor, he did,and the doctor basically said
(07:06):
that it's stress that sometimesyour body becomes so stressed
from everything that you couldliterally be paralyzed from the
stress.
I had so much stress on me thatit paralyzed me.
That right, there was, you know, you say, a rude awakening.
That was just an awakening forme To say Esther, you got to get
this together.
You cannot any longer operatethe way you've been operating.
(07:29):
You've got to change somethings, because while you're
trying to balance everything,something is out of balance.
Everything, something is out ofbalance.
So what is out of balance?
Again, what was out of balancefor me was I wasn't showing up.
(07:49):
For me, what is out of balancewas that I was spending so much
time at work that my family lifewas out of balance.
I had to begin to recognizethose things out of balance.
I was spending so much timedoing other people's things,
(08:11):
doing other things, thateverything else was out of
balance.
And even though I was going,making sure my kids ate, making
sure I was showing up to theirgames or whatever, and sometimes
I didn't get to show up, myhusband would be there.
And I never forget one time Isaid to my daughter I said I
won't be there, but I'll bepraying, and the prayers work
way better than me showing up,you know.
(08:33):
And of course, in her mind shejust looked at me and said oh,
okay, mom, whatever you say,yeah, have you ever had that?
Because if you're spending allthis, I have a good friend.
She spends so much time at work, work, work, work, work that
there's parts of her life that'sjust out of balance and she's
(08:55):
not even recognizing it.
Because sometimes we're soinvolved with what we're doing
is that we don't recognize whereour life is out of balance and
it creates stress on our bodythat can hinder us, harm us,
hurt us down the road.
And that's exactly what it didfor me paralyzed.
(09:15):
It wasn't until, you know, thedoctor said what to do, that it
wasn't until that evening that Iwas actually able to get up and
walk, get up and move.
I had to begin to think aboutwhat's balance really?
Because if you're in balance,you know if you see a scale and
(09:38):
you're weighing your food oryou're weighing the fruit right
and you're in balance.
You know if you see a scale andyou're weighing your food or
you're weighing the fruit rightand you're weighing it to see
how much it is, and then one isup and one is down, that's out
of balance.
Right?
Balance is just like this.
Is there ever a time in yourlife where you felt as if
everything was in balance likethat?
For me, no, because if onething I'm balancing, one that
(09:59):
means for me something is out ofbalance, that I'm paying more
attention to this and I'm notpaying enough attention to that.
And, by the way, right now Ifeel like whoa, what's going on?
I need to bring some thingsback in.
So here it is.
I don't believe in balancinganymore.
What I do believe is harmony.
What I do believe is harmony,harmony.
(10:26):
So then, what's harmony?
For me, harmony is like anorchestra, you know, have you
ever gone to an orchestra?
Or go, you know, listen to thesymphony and everything is in
harmony.
The music, everybody's playingtheir role to bring it all
together for it to sound like abeautiful melody, yeah that's
harmony.
And whenever something is out ofharmony, like when you're
(10:49):
playing, then you're like youstop and the conductor say, oh
no, wait a minute, you're toohigh, you're too low or whatever
, to bring it back into harmony.
And sometimes you have topractice some things to bring it
back into harmony to where nowit's moving.
Well, let me give you anotherexample.
(11:11):
It's like a swing set.
So when we bought a swing setfor our kids, right, jonathan is
putting the swing set togetherand the swing set comes with all
kinds of nuts and bolts and allof these different things.
And when the swing set isproperly put together, using all
(11:35):
the nuts and the bolts in theright places, right In the right
place, using every single piece, when you push the swing it
should just nicely swing up, upand down, right.
But if you don't put all of ittogether in the right places,
(11:59):
using the right nuts and boltsand all of that, it won't swing
smoothly.
So as he was putting the swingset together, as he was putting
it together, at one point itlooked really good, because have
you ever had it to where, likeyou look good, you're showing up
, you're, you know, you'relooking beautiful, especially us
(12:22):
as women.
You know we're going to put onour makeup, or you know, comb
our hair, get our nails done,you know mani pedi.
We're going to do all of thesegreat things because we are
going to look good on theoutside, we're going to show up
looking pretty, but yet on theinside we're messed up, we're
tired, we're hurt, we'recarrying a lot, we're under
(12:46):
stress.
But we look good on the outsidebut inside is messed up.
So that's like the swing.
When we put the swing together,he did and it looked so good,
like, oh great, the kids aregoing to love this swing because
it looks great.
And then he looked he said,well, I've got a couple of bolts
(13:08):
left right.
And then he went to push theswing and it went.
It just didn't flow.
There was no harmony.
You know there's two swingsright there.
And then we had the littlebucket piece where you sit.
Okay, one is in flow, it's justnot flowing.
(13:31):
Let's go back to the drawingboard now and let's see what's
missing.
And let's see what's missing.
And he grabbed the paper and hebegan to look at every piece of
it.
Okay, I did this.
I did this piece.
This came together here, thatcame together there.
(13:54):
No-transcript, I didn't usesomething that I should have
used.
But I didn't use it becausemaybe it didn't look like if it
was right or it didn't makesense, or maybe they just gave
me some extra ones.
He went back over everything andhe put the bolts in the right
(14:15):
places and sometimes I think atone point he disassembled at
least not all of it, but some ofit and then reassembled it back
together.
And when he reassembled it backtogether using the pieces now
hear what I'm saying to you hebegan to look to see where was
it.
How did he move out of harmony?
(14:38):
You know, it's just like inthat orchestra, like that person
that may not be blowing on theright key, like okay, let's stop
, let's discover, let's see whoit is and let's see what's going
on with your instrument, what'shappening here to where you're
out of key, and then let's fixit.
So now you could be back inharmony with everyone else.
And that was the same with theswing right Disassembled.
(15:02):
Let's figure out what's wronghere and now let's reassemble it
using every piece, putting themin the right place, and let's
test it out to make sure itflows in harmony.
It swings like smoothly,smoothly.
And that's what we did.
What I had to do with that in mylife was really sit and say I
(15:23):
don't want my life to be inbalance anymore or I don't want,
I'm not working to balanceeverything.
You know, you know you hearpeople say, oh, I'm trying to
balance this, I'm trying tobalance life, I'm trying to
balance school and work.
I'm trying to balance school orand going to the gym and and
working out and take care ofmyself.
If you're trying to balance andit's still not working out the
(15:44):
way you would like it, it'sprobably because something is
still out of balance and youreally need to look at how can I
bring everything that I'm doingin harmony.
See, when I made that decisionlike, okay, I need to be in
harmony I didn't stop being aCEO.
I was still a CEO.
I didn't stop being a mother.
Of course, I'm still a mother,I'm still the wife, I'm still in
(16:06):
ministry, I'm still all ofthese things today.
But what I had to learn was howto bring it into harmony,
something that's just comingtogether.
And, trust me, when I begin toget out of harmony right, I
begin to get really stressed outand, honestly, I begin to not
(16:26):
show up the way I need to showup because I say, whoa, I need
to now bring everything backtogether so it can flow for me.
Every once in a while I have todo that.
Every once in a while, thingsget out of harmony for me
because I'm trying to do 150zillion things at one time and
we're just not made for that,y'all.
(16:47):
We are not made for that, mybody is not made for that.
And so becoming in harmonymeans that I have to do some
self-care first.
I have to look at Esther and Ihave to say what is it that you
want in your life?
So you could first show up foryourself and then you can show
up for everyone else.
Harmony, harmony.
(17:11):
I began to do inventory on mylife and I began to say, okay,
as a CEO, this is the time I'mgoing to allot to this.
And I began to say, okay, as aCEO, this is a time I'm going to
allot to this, because I wantto make way to make sure that
I'm very present with my familyand show up 100% for them as I
show up for myself In ministry.
(17:32):
Okay, where is it that I needto bring that into play?
To where now everything beginsto work together?
So in my harmony I had to bring.
I brought everything in, but Imade sure that every part played
a role, had their key, and ifeverything has their key, then
(17:53):
it all comes together.
And when, that's when I couldsay yes, I am now living in
harmony, I am living inalignment, my body is no longer
as stressed as it was, to whereit's paralyzed me and, by the
way, when I just began to dosome things in harmony.
I'm not saying that I'm neverout of harmony, no, this is life
(18:15):
and sometimes I am.
But I quickly recognize it andI began to take the steps that's
necessary to put it back intoharmony, to bring that beautiful
orchestra together.
When I sit and I listen, I hearthe beautiful melody of my life
coming together.
Hope this is making sense.
(18:36):
Harmony is important, especiallyfor us as women.
It's not that it's notimportant for the men as well,
but especially for women.
It's important because we do somuch, we have so much
expectations and many times it'sharder on us than it is on men.
Honestly, you know, we're thedaughter, we're the caretaker,
(18:56):
we're the mother, we're the CEOor the entrepreneur.
We're doing all of thesedifferent things and we're
running around, sometimes like achicken with our head cut off,
and we're putting a lot ofstress in our body, which then
affects our health.
If it doesn't affect yourhealth today, trust me, it'll
affect it in the future.
(19:17):
All of that stress, the stressis what brings diseases into our
bodies.
The stress is what makes us ill.
The stress cuts the longevityof our life, and that's why it's
important for us to bring allof this together in harmony.
In harmony means I'm going toharmonize, I'm going to be in
harmony with my belief system,I'm going to be in harmony with
(19:39):
God, I'm going to be inalignment so he can instruct me
and teach me in the way that Ishould go, and then he could
guide me and I could bring somethings into harmony so I could
live a life that's not justpleasing to God, but a life that
I enjoy and a life that I love,and I don't care what.
(19:59):
You know, you may notunderstand it.
No, I'm not going to do that.
No, I'm not going to do this.
Why?
Because I'm bringing my life inharmony.
I'm living a harmonious life.
It's harmony, it's living thatlife that you could look and say
I've got all these things goingon, but now I've got some
things in place to where I couldhandle it better.
(20:21):
I don't feel can I tell youthat's what right now.
That's what I'm doing.
So many things are going on inthe world today.
I had to make some decisions.
This is taking me out ofharmony.
I can't do that, or I stillwant to do this, but this is
what I need to bring in so itcan function.
(20:43):
Live your life in harmony, notin balance.
If you're living your life andyou're trying to balance
everything, stop trying tobalance it because you're out of
balance.
So identify where you're out ofbalance and then look and see
how can I bring my life inharmony to where now everything
is functioning.
Give everything a role and akey, let's say, as to when
they're to play and when they'reto operate in your life so you
(21:06):
could live in harmony.
That's the key to longevity, tosuccess, to healing, to
everything that you want in yourlife to come to pass is in
harmony.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Wasn't that episode amazing Living unapologetically.
Faith unmuted has allowed usonce again to ask ourselves the
kind of questions that will helpus get to the next level and
live this life unapologetically.
Your next step head on over towwwestroggramcom and let me know
(21:43):
what your favorite episode is,ask a question or share this
with a friend.
I can't wait to be with younext week as we dive deeper into
redefining what it means to bea christian woman and redefining
what it means to live in ourtruth.
You are listening to Faith Unmuted.
The place where Christian womenget the opportunity to press
the button and say what theywant, how they want and exactly
how they feel.
The one place where, together,we can collectively walk through
our truths, liveunapologetically and stop hiding
.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
There was a time in my life that I was so out of
balance.
I, of course, was a mother, awife, my husband and I are in
ministry, I was a CEO, and Ifelt as if my life was just
going in so many differentdirections.
(00:58):
I decided during this time thatto go back to school to get
another degree, decided duringthis time that to go back to
school to get another degree and, you know, thought I was doing
the right thing, and I guess itwas.
You know, I completed it, butthings were just so busy and
just so out of whack.
(01:20):
I remember that I felt like mywhole life was falling apart all
around me.
Have you ever, you know, beenin a place where you're doing so
much?
You're, as my dad would call it, you're the chief cook and
(01:43):
bottle washer and you're doingeverything and after a while you
just become so exhausted,because you're the last person
that you look at, because you'retaking care of everything else,
that you just begin to fallapart.
I just got so stressed out.
I was spending like 13, 14, 15hours at work and then, of
(02:03):
course, supporting my husband inministry.
Then we've got the children,you know, and we've got sports
activities, you know glee clublet's say they weren't a part of
the glee club, but you know allthe clubs after school and and
just being there for them,because at this point they're
all teenagers and y'all.
You know you have to be verypresent for your teenagers and
at the time my husband was stillin the military.
(02:23):
You know you have to be verypresent for your teenagers and
at the time my husband was stillin the military, you know.
And so there was just so much,and I'm trying to show up for
everyone and so everything wasout of balance for me, just
every.
It just got out of balance.
And I remember one night layingon the couch and I just began to
(02:46):
look at my life and I began tothink what am I doing?
Things just weren't going theway I expected it to go After
I'd worked so hard and you know,doing everything, I've given
everything to everyone, and yetit seems like it was just
falling apart.
I was trying to control toomuch all at one time.
(03:08):
My, what I thought at the timewas what I needed to do to keep
everything in balance, right,balance.
I want to say that when you'rekeeping, when you're trying to
create balance in your life,then something then has to be
out of balance, right.
And so while I'm trying tocreate all of this balance in my
(03:29):
life, doing a hundred, you know, ceo, mother, woman in ministry
, wife, you know, doing all ofthese different things I've got,
you know, I'm a.
I'm a professor, right, andthen, as an adjunct professor,
I'm teaching, I'm in school,doing all these things.
The kids have everything, andI'm trying to keep everything in
(03:51):
balance.
But when you're trying to doeverything and keep everything
in balance, something has to beout of balance.
Out of balance.
The thing that was out ofbalance for me was me.
While I was doing everythingelse, I was neglecting myself, I
was neglecting my health.
(04:13):
I gained so much weight keepingeverything in balance.
If you saw pictures of me, thenyou would say, oh, my gosh,
yeah, you might not evenrecognize me.
Sometimes I look at thosepictures and I won't even
recognize me.
Okay, so it was.
(04:33):
It was so bad that one night I'mlaying on my couch again and
I'm looking.
I'm saying, gosh, what is itthat really needs to change in
my life?
And, quite honestly, what couldI change?
I can't stop being a mother,Can't stop being a wife, I can't
stop being in ministry.
You know I can't stop and quitmy job and not be a CEO anymore.
(04:53):
Right, I can't.
You know, how could I stopbeing chief cook and bottle
washer?
How could I stop being that?
And I just didn't know how Iended up falling asleep on the
couch, you know, and I wake upthe next morning and Jonathan
comes to to wake, to wake me upbecause I just needed to be by
(05:16):
myself.
You know, have you ever hadthose days to where you know
what?
I just need to be by myself.
I just, I just need to think, Ijust need to process, and I
don't want to be bothered, youknow, and so I did.
I just laid on that couch thewhole night, just honestly, I
think, just feeling sorry formyself.
You know, I'm doing all thesethings and no one is helping me
(05:44):
and no one is showing up for me,and you know all these kind of.
You know I'm doing this.
I'm at work, you know, not justeight hour days, I'm at work 10
, 11, 12 hour days, and then Istill have to run home and
prepare dinner and do all ofthese different things, and I
was just having a pity party.
And the next morning I woke upand I went to get up.
(06:06):
Jonathan came to get me and Iwent to get up off of the couch
and I couldn't move.
I couldn't move, I wasparalyzed.
I started screaming, sayingJonathan, I can't move, what's
(06:32):
going on?
I can't move, I can't move.
We called the doctor, he did.
We called the doctor, he did,and the doctor basically said
(07:06):
that it's stress that sometimesyour body becomes so stressed
from everything that you couldliterally be paralyzed from the
stress.
I had so much stress on me thatit paralyzed me.
That right, there was, you know, you say, a rude awakening.
That was just an awakening forme To say Esther, you got to get
this together.
You cannot any longer operatethe way you've been operating.
(07:29):
You've got to change somethings, because while you're
trying to balance everything,something is out of balance.
Everything, something is out ofbalance.
So what is out of balance?
Again, what was out of balancefor me was I wasn't showing up.
(07:49):
For me, what is out of balancewas that I was spending so much
time at work that my family lifewas out of balance.
I had to begin to recognizethose things out of balance.
I was spending so much timedoing other people's things,
(08:11):
doing other things, thateverything else was out of
balance.
And even though I was going,making sure my kids ate, making
sure I was showing up to theirgames or whatever, and sometimes
I didn't get to show up, myhusband would be there.
And I never forget one time Isaid to my daughter I said I
won't be there, but I'll bepraying, and the prayers work
way better than me showing up,you know.
(08:33):
And of course, in her mind shejust looked at me and said oh,
okay, mom, whatever you say,yeah, have you ever had that?
Because if you're spending allthis, I have a good friend.
She spends so much time at work, work, work, work, work that
there's parts of her life that'sjust out of balance and she's
(08:55):
not even recognizing it.
Because sometimes we're soinvolved with what we're doing
is that we don't recognize whereour life is out of balance and
it creates stress on our bodythat can hinder us, harm us,
hurt us down the road.
And that's exactly what it didfor me paralyzed.
(09:15):
It wasn't until, you know, thedoctor said what to do, that it
wasn't until that evening that Iwas actually able to get up and
walk, get up and move.
I had to begin to think aboutwhat's balance really?
Because if you're in balance,you know if you see a scale and
(09:38):
you're weighing your food oryou're weighing the fruit right
and you're in balance.
You know if you see a scale andyou're weighing your food or
you're weighing the fruit rightand you're weighing it to see
how much it is, and then one isup and one is down, that's out
of balance.
Right?
Balance is just like this.
Is there ever a time in yourlife where you felt as if
everything was in balance likethat?
For me, no, because if onething I'm balancing, one that
(09:59):
means for me something is out ofbalance, that I'm paying more
attention to this and I'm notpaying enough attention to that.
And, by the way, right now Ifeel like whoa, what's going on?
I need to bring some thingsback in.
So here it is.
I don't believe in balancinganymore.
What I do believe is harmony.
What I do believe is harmony,harmony.
(10:26):
So then, what's harmony?
For me, harmony is like anorchestra, you know, have you
ever gone to an orchestra?
Or go, you know, listen to thesymphony and everything is in
harmony.
The music, everybody's playingtheir role to bring it all
together for it to sound like abeautiful melody, yeah that's
harmony.
And whenever something is out ofharmony, like when you're
(10:49):
playing, then you're like youstop and the conductor say, oh
no, wait a minute, you're toohigh, you're too low or whatever
, to bring it back into harmony.
And sometimes you have topractice some things to bring it
back into harmony to where nowit's moving.
Well, let me give you anotherexample.
(11:11):
It's like a swing set.
So when we bought a swing setfor our kids, right, jonathan is
putting the swing set togetherand the swing set comes with all
kinds of nuts and bolts and allof these different things.
And when the swing set isproperly put together, using all
(11:35):
the nuts and the bolts in theright places, right In the right
place, using every single piece, when you push the swing it
should just nicely swing up, upand down, right.
But if you don't put all of ittogether in the right places,
(11:59):
using the right nuts and boltsand all of that, it won't swing
smoothly.
So as he was putting the swingset together, as he was putting
it together, at one point itlooked really good, because have
you ever had it to where, likeyou look good, you're showing up
, you're, you know, you'relooking beautiful, especially us
(12:22):
as women.
You know we're going to put onour makeup, or you know, comb
our hair, get our nails done,you know mani pedi.
We're going to do all of thesegreat things because we are
going to look good on theoutside, we're going to show up
looking pretty, but yet on theinside we're messed up, we're
tired, we're hurt, we'recarrying a lot, we're under
(12:46):
stress.
But we look good on the outsidebut inside is messed up.
So that's like the swing.
When we put the swing together,he did and it looked so good,
like, oh great, the kids aregoing to love this swing because
it looks great.
And then he looked he said,well, I've got a couple of bolts
(13:08):
left right.
And then he went to push theswing and it went.
It just didn't flow.
There was no harmony.
You know there's two swingsright there.
And then we had the littlebucket piece where you sit.
Okay, one is in flow, it's justnot flowing.
(13:31):
Let's go back to the drawingboard now and let's see what's
missing.
And let's see what's missing.
And he grabbed the paper and hebegan to look at every piece of
it.
Okay, I did this.
I did this piece.
This came together here, thatcame together there.
(13:54):
No-transcript, I didn't usesomething that I should have
used.
But I didn't use it becausemaybe it didn't look like if it
was right or it didn't makesense, or maybe they just gave
me some extra ones.
He went back over everything andhe put the bolts in the right
(14:15):
places and sometimes I think atone point he disassembled at
least not all of it, but some ofit and then reassembled it back
together.
And when he reassembled it backtogether using the pieces now
hear what I'm saying to you hebegan to look to see where was
it.
How did he move out of harmony?
(14:38):
You know, it's just like inthat orchestra, like that person
that may not be blowing on theright key, like okay, let's stop
, let's discover, let's see whoit is and let's see what's going
on with your instrument, what'shappening here to where you're
out of key, and then let's fixit.
So now you could be back inharmony with everyone else.
And that was the same with theswing right Disassembled.
(15:02):
Let's figure out what's wronghere and now let's reassemble it
using every piece, putting themin the right place, and let's
test it out to make sure itflows in harmony.
It swings like smoothly,smoothly.
And that's what we did.
What I had to do with that in mylife was really sit and say I
(15:23):
don't want my life to be inbalance anymore or I don't want,
I'm not working to balanceeverything.
You know, you know you hearpeople say, oh, I'm trying to
balance this, I'm trying tobalance life, I'm trying to
balance school and work.
I'm trying to balance school orand going to the gym and and
working out and take care ofmyself.
If you're trying to balance andit's still not working out the
(15:44):
way you would like it, it'sprobably because something is
still out of balance and youreally need to look at how can I
bring everything that I'm doingin harmony.
See, when I made that decisionlike, okay, I need to be in
harmony I didn't stop being aCEO.
I was still a CEO.
I didn't stop being a mother.
Of course, I'm still a mother,I'm still the wife, I'm still in
(16:06):
ministry, I'm still all ofthese things today.
But what I had to learn was howto bring it into harmony,
something that's just comingtogether.
And, trust me, when I begin toget out of harmony right, I
begin to get really stressed outand, honestly, I begin to not
(16:26):
show up the way I need to showup because I say, whoa, I need
to now bring everything backtogether so it can flow for me.
Every once in a while I have todo that.
Every once in a while, thingsget out of harmony for me
because I'm trying to do 150zillion things at one time and
we're just not made for that,y'all.
(16:47):
We are not made for that, mybody is not made for that.
And so becoming in harmonymeans that I have to do some
self-care first.
I have to look at Esther and Ihave to say what is it that you
want in your life?
So you could first show up foryourself and then you can show
up for everyone else.
Harmony, harmony.
(17:11):
I began to do inventory on mylife and I began to say, okay,
as a CEO, this is the time I'mgoing to allot to this.
And I began to say, okay, as aCEO, this is a time I'm going to
allot to this, because I wantto make way to make sure that
I'm very present with my familyand show up 100% for them as I
show up for myself In ministry.
(17:32):
Okay, where is it that I needto bring that into play?
To where now everything beginsto work together?
So in my harmony I had to bring.
I brought everything in, but Imade sure that every part played
a role, had their key, and ifeverything has their key, then
(17:53):
it all comes together.
And when, that's when I couldsay yes, I am now living in
harmony, I am living inalignment, my body is no longer
as stressed as it was, to whereit's paralyzed me and, by the
way, when I just began to dosome things in harmony.
I'm not saying that I'm neverout of harmony, no, this is life
(18:15):
and sometimes I am.
But I quickly recognize it andI began to take the steps that's
necessary to put it back intoharmony, to bring that beautiful
orchestra together.
When I sit and I listen, I hearthe beautiful melody of my life
coming together.
Hope this is making sense.
(18:36):
Harmony is important, especiallyfor us as women.
It's not that it's notimportant for the men as well,
but especially for women.
It's important because we do somuch, we have so much
expectations and many times it'sharder on us than it is on men.
Honestly, you know, we're thedaughter, we're the caretaker,
(18:56):
we're the mother, we're the CEOor the entrepreneur.
We're doing all of thesedifferent things and we're
running around, sometimes like achicken with our head cut off,
and we're putting a lot ofstress in our body, which then
affects our health.
If it doesn't affect yourhealth today, trust me, it'll
affect it in the future.
(19:17):
All of that stress, the stressis what brings diseases into our
bodies.
The stress is what makes us ill.
The stress cuts the longevityof our life, and that's why it's
important for us to bring allof this together in harmony.
In harmony means I'm going toharmonize, I'm going to be in
harmony with my belief system,I'm going to be in harmony with
(19:39):
God, I'm going to be inalignment so he can instruct me
and teach me in the way that Ishould go, and then he could
guide me and I could bring somethings into harmony so I could
live a life that's not justpleasing to God, but a life that
I enjoy and a life that I love,and I don't care what.
(19:59):
You know, you may notunderstand it.
No, I'm not going to do that.
No, I'm not going to do this.
Why?
Because I'm bringing my life inharmony.
I'm living a harmonious life.
It's harmony, it's living thatlife that you could look and say
I've got all these things goingon, but now I've got some
things in place to where I couldhandle it better.
(20:21):
I don't feel can I tell youthat's what right now.
That's what I'm doing.
So many things are going on inthe world today.
I had to make some decisions.
This is taking me out ofharmony.
I can't do that, or I stillwant to do this, but this is
what I need to bring in so itcan function.
(20:43):
Live your life in harmony, notin balance.
If you're living your life andyou're trying to balance
everything, stop trying tobalance it because you're out of
balance.
So identify where you're out ofbalance and then look and see
how can I bring my life inharmony to where now everything
is functioning.
Give everything a role and akey, let's say, as to when
they're to play and when they'reto operate in your life so you
(21:06):
could live in harmony.
That's the key to longevity, tosuccess, to healing, to
everything that you want in yourlife to come to pass is in
harmony.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Wasn't that episode amazing Living unapologetically.
Faith unmuted has allowed usonce again to ask ourselves the
kind of questions that will helpus get to the next level and
live this life unapologetically.
Your next step head on over towwwestroggramcom and let me know
(21:43):
what your favorite episode is,ask a question or share this
with a friend.
I can't wait to be with younext week as we dive deeper into
redefining what it means to bea christian woman and redefining
what it means to live in ourtruth.
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