Ep. 7 Intimacy in Marriage Starts with Intimacy with God

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(00:01):
Are you ready to build a life,business and legacy that truly
lasts?
Welcome to Faithfully Investedwith Allen and Stacy Jo Thorne,
where Faith meets real talk.
Biblical wisdom meets everydaylife and leadership meets
laughter.
Together we will uncover God'sblueprint for leadership,
marriage, and mission, helpingfaith-driven leaders invest in

(00:21):
what matters most.
Each episode, we explorebiblical wisdom, have real
conversations, and of course,have some fun along the way
because let's be real.
Walking in faith is anadventure.
It sure is.
So pull up a seat, grab yourcoffee or your sweet tea, and
join us as we steward ourcallings with intention, because

(00:42):
when we invest in his kingdom,he brings the increase.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to FaithfullyInvested, where we are

(01:03):
discovering God's blueprint forleadership, marriage, and
mission.
One Kingdom Principle at a time.
We're your host, Allen and StacyJo Thorne.
In today's episode is especiallyfor the married people or those
fixing to tie the knot.
Mm-hmm.
Now listen, if that's not whereyou're at right now, that's
okay.
Not every episode's gonna be foreverybody, but we bet.

(01:26):
Dollars to donuts that if youdecide to stick around that the
good Lord might just dropsomething on you.
Uh, that really speaks to yourheart.
Yeah.
And for those of you who aremarried or hoping to be someday,
today's topic is a game changer.
'cause we're talking about howintimacy with God, I'm sorry,

(01:47):
intimacy with marriage.
Yeah.
Starts with intimacy, with withGod.
Intimacy with God.
Right.
That's it.
No matter how strong yourconnection is.
If Jesus isn't your setfoundation in your cornerstone
mm-hmm.
You're definitely building onshaky ground.
However, when you both seek himfirst, everything else aligns so

(02:09):
that you may abide.
Absolutely.
So pour yourself some coffee oryou know how we say sweet tea,
if that's what you prefer.
We are in the the south.
That works too.
We are in the south.
Open your Bible.
Call your honey and let's diveinto this.
You ready?
I'm ready.
Let's do it.
So if you're new to us, here'sthe short version.

(02:32):
We're not just ministry partnersor podcast hosts.
We're a married couple that'swalked through some pretty
significant challenges.
Mm-hmm.
To get to these humbling days.
Yeah.
Still not perfect, and that'sokay.
Uh, we've learned that when westop striving for perfection,
that our relationships actuallyget better as we love each other

(02:56):
as we are so that we might growtogether.
Yeah.
You know, we've lived throughseasons where everything felt
sweet and connected.
And then there's the ones whereI think we both might've felt
like we were just roommates withrings on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we can, uh, we can both tellyou without.

(03:18):
Hesitation that, um, when wewere individually seeking God,
when she was doing her thingover there and I was doing my
thing over here and we wereplaying the game his way, we
were stronger together that way.
But, but more so when we communewith him and each other
simultaneously mm-hmm.
We became unshakeable and evenunbreakable.

(03:41):
Yeah, I would agree with that.
I mean.
We, I'm not, that's not to saywe don't need our time alone
with the Lord obviously, but weneed our time as a married
couple together.
Absolutely with the Lord aswell.
And that is like a classictriangle example.
You know, God at the top,husband and wife at the bottom,

(04:02):
right?
And the closer each of you getsto the top, the closer you get
to one another, right?
So it's a really great example.
Of what it looks like to do lifewith, with God, with God first.
Yeah, that's right.
That, that's what this, that'swhat this is all about.
Mm-hmm.
Intimacy is about putting Godfirst.

(04:23):
Yeah.
And that's not just some cuteChristian counseling talk.
It's scriptural.
Yeah.
Uh, Matthew 6 33, that's ourcore verse.
Mm-hmm.
For this season, seek first thekingdom of God and his
righteousness, and all thesethings will be added to you.
Now, even while Jesus isspeaking about food, drinking
clothing in 6 33, his provisioncertainly does not end with

(04:47):
basic earthly necessities.
When we seek him with all of ourhearts, we find him and all.
All, all of his relationalfruit.
Can you say all?
So when we seek him first, wefind all of his relational fruit

(05:07):
that he has for those who lovehim.
Yeah.
So what's that look like, babe?
Oh my goodness.
Well, for me, I would say itlooks like peace and connection
and of course a deeper love inour marriage because when we
start putting him first, likeyou were saying, things really
start to align.
In our marriage and, and we wentthrough seasons where, like you

(05:29):
said, we weren't aligned withhim completely'cause we were
doing our own things, but weneeded to come together and
commune with him as a couple.
As a couple.
But it took us a while.
It took us a while to get there.
Yeah.
It took us a while to startrecognizing that that's what

(05:49):
needed to happen.
And so when we started.
Realigning ourselves with him.
Um, together we were together,we were reminded.
Yeah, we got, we were remindedto seek him first.
Right now, we're not sayingthat, uh, to not seek him.
On your own.

(06:09):
I, I think you mentioned that.
Yeah.
It's important for us to seekhim individually mm-hmm.
And what he has for each of usand, and who he wants to be.
Right.
That's a great question.
Who do you want to be for metoday, Lord.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, we're not saying don't seekhim as, as yourself.
Don't seek, we're saying seekhim as a husband.
Seek him as a wife.

(06:30):
Yeah.
But seek him as a husband andwife as well.
Yeah.
Let him be that.
Third strand in that cord.
Absolutely.
'cause that's where he wants tobe.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So, you know, a, a lot ofcouples actually get stuck and
us included.
'cause we tried to fix themarriage horizontally with date

(06:51):
nights, with books, withcommunication tricks, retreats.
I mean, we went on a retreat,which was amazing.
Hey, the retreat was cool.
Now I'm not saying not to do it.
Yeah.
But.
There was more to it, so, butyou name it.
And, and we tried it all.
And again, while they were allgood things, they weren't the
answer to deeper intimacy with.

(07:15):
Him.
Right.
In fact, if we're just being rawhere, there, there were times
when we came home from a datenight that it ended in an
argument.
Yeah.
Or even better.
Oh wait, I got even better.
'cause I remember a time thatthe argument started before we
even got out of the development.
Yeah.
And we called it a night early.
We came home, we're like, okay,we're not doing this.

(07:36):
Anybody else been there?
Yeah.
I mean, we're being, we're beingtruthful and raw with you here.
We've been there and, and, andhe's seen us through it.
Mm-hmm.
So could, but we, we tried tosee if we could fix ourselves on
our own, if we could alignourselves on our own.
Uh, don't you think we would'vedone that by now?
Don't you think the divorce ratein the United States would be

(07:59):
much lower?
Mm-hmm.
But it's not possible.
We, it, we.
The horizontal alignment comesafter, right.
The essential verticalalignment.
Mm-hmm.
We gotta have it.
It's the, the scripture says,the word says seek his kingdom
and his righteousness first.
Yeah.
And then so we seek our relationwith him first.

(08:22):
We seek his righteousness, thatvertical alignment with him
first.
Mm-hmm.
And then.
The horizontal alignment isadded to us.
All these things will be addedto us.
Yeah.
So without that verticalalignment, all the stuff mm-hmm.
It's all like band-aids onbullet wounds.
You can, you can, yeah.
You can pick up all the, themarriage counseling books you

(08:45):
want.
Mm-hmm.
But, you know.
Like a bandaid on a bulletwound.
Heart issues are not mended bysuperficial.
Look good.
See good solutions.
In fact, I wouldn't call themsolutions at all.
The only solution, the solutionstarts with connection with with

(09:05):
Yahweh, Yeshua and the HolySpirit.
Well, I'm gonna say the crosssays it all.
The cross does say it allbecause horizontally.
That that cross would not stand.
It had to be vertically to holdup the horizontal, the hor, the,
the vertical post mm-hmm.

(09:27):
Is it points to the points tothe Lord, right?
Yeah.
And right.
You know, it does not standwithout the vertical post with
the horizontal beam.
Is, it's, it's symbol.
Symbolic being, that's the wordI was trying to find.
Yeah.
The horrors, the vertical postis symbolic of the forgiveness
and mm-hmm.
And, and the work from the lordto us.

(09:49):
Mm-hmm.
And so that we might.
Uh, have the relation that hecalls us to with others.
Mm-hmm.
Which is horizontally.
Right.
But, but the vertical comesfirst.
Right.
And if our intimacy with God isoff, and eventually it will
eventually show up in ourmarriage, it'll show up.
It's shown up in my tone.
It's shown up in my patience, myemotional availability

(10:13):
sometimes, you know?
Yeah.
Uh, but friends, we can't pourlife from an empty cup.
Oh.
And when we're spiritually dry.
We can't expect our spouse to beable to fill up that cup either.
There's only one that has theability to do that.
I'm gonna go with a blammo onthat.
Blammo.

(10:33):
Blammo, I love that one.
Can't pour life from an emptycup.
That's nice, babe.
Thanks Tony.
That's nice.
Yeah.
We've learned that the hard way.
We have absolutely.
Both of us, we've, yeah.
We've tried to pour life from anempty cup.
Mm-hmm.
And it, it just doesn't.
It just, it's not possible.
Right.
You gotta have, we had to havethat vertical alignment.

(10:55):
Yeah.
Uh, so that we alignedhorizontally.
Right.
Um, so, but the good news isthere's always good news.
There's always good news and,uh, yeah, God.
Jesus and the Holy Spirit arethe best relational counselors
that there are.
Mm-hmm.
And the, the sword of theSpirit, that is the word of God

(11:18):
is our playbook when we decideto use the word as our playbook.
Yeah.
Of how to align and abide withthem.
Then things get a lot better.
They do.
You know, there, there was aseason, and I'm sure, I know I'm
not the only one who'sexperienced this, but there was

(11:38):
a season early in our marriagewhere.
I felt like I was the one whowas carrying the spiritual side
of things.
I, I was reading my Bible, I waspraying, I was doing ministry,
and I was wondering why do Ifeel spiritually alone?
And I was at that point carryingthe spiritual side.

(12:00):
Um, absolutely.
I would agree.
We were in different places.
Agree.
We were in very differentplaces.
Mm-hmm.
I was new to the whole familything.
I was new to the whole Jesusthing.
Mm-hmm.
And I thought, and I was in aplace where I thought being a
good husband meant providing andprotecting.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, and I was, uh, I was notleading, uh, spiritually because

(12:20):
there were many other thingsthat went before Jesus's truth
for us as a couple, many otherthings.
Uh, that went before him and Ihad no idea, truth be told, uh,
in those days.
Um, she was the spiritual leaderof the house because I had no
idea how to lead a family well,because I was barely connected

(12:42):
with God, Jesus and the HolySpirit.
And hindsight that had to bechallenging for you.
Well, uh, yeah.
I mean, I'm not gonna say itwasn't frustrating because there
were times that there, that itwas, and, and I'll admit that
there was a period of time whereI can probably say now that I
resented you for not being thespiritual leader of our home.

(13:03):
But, but it wasn't, it's notabout pointing fingers.
It's not.
It was about both of usrealigning with God
individually.
Yeah.
So that we could connectspiritually.
And she was patient as a couple.
She was very patient with me.
Sometimes my patience was tried.
But I, yes, it was moving on.

(13:26):
Moving on.
But there was a turning point.
There was a turning point.
Yeah.
And that, and that turning pointwas when we stopped trying to
fix each other.
Mm-hmm.
And we started pursuing Godpersonally.
Yeah.
Started pursuing God together.
Yeah.
And we don't have time to getinto all that right now.
No.
But I will tell you thatEphesians five preaches all day

(13:49):
and night.
Yeah.
But.
Short, uh, short version thoughwhen I learned that as the
husband, I must love and honorStacey Joe, that Christ loved
the church as Christ loved thechurch.
Whoa.
It was, I was like, Keanu Reeveand Bill and Ted.
I was like, whoa.

(14:11):
Strange.
Things were afoot at the CircleK, right?
Yeah.
But, uh, I had, we like toinclude a little pop culture in
our shows, right, man.
Uh, so anyway.
When I learned that I, I was, asthe husband, I, I'm, mm-hmm.
I, I must love and honor StaceyJoe, just as Christ loved the

(14:34):
church.
I knew that I could not handlethem without him.
I was like.
It was a wake up call.
Like I was never meant to handlemarriage without him in the
first place, and neither are youfriends.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, that those were humblingdays.
And that's when the wallsstarted coming down.
Yeah.
Uh, we didn't crumble, but thewalls started coming down.

(14:57):
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, and then we began togrow together.
And at the same time, I learnedthat I needed to respect you
because men are looking forrespect.
Women are looking for love.
And that's, that's a wholenother topic.
Or not really a whole nothertopic, another, but a whole
nother episode at least that wecould get into, right?
But, but that shift, I mean,that shift changed everything.

(15:20):
Our communication improved.
Affection came easier.
Grace flowed naturally.
And why?
Because our cups were full.
Right?
Our cups were full.
Right?
They, we were overflowing and weweren't relying on, I wasn't
relying on him to fill my cup,and he wasn't relying on me to
fill his right because we werebeing filled by the only one who

(15:43):
can fill us.
Jesus.
Jesus, praise him.
Yes.
Yes.
So how do we actually build thatkind of spiritual intimacy in
our marriage?
Hmm.
Practical.
Hmm.
Here it is.
Practical.
Five practical steps.
You know how I love practical?
I do know how you lovepractical.
I don't get sure as practical.

(16:05):
Uh, here are five practicalsteps that, that we worked over.
Over, mm-hmm.
Time that worked for us andworked for several other couples
and we're still a work inprogress.
We still have to do thesealways.
We still have to do these justabout the second that we think
that we have arrived.
Mm-hmm.
Here comes, yeah.
New challenges, right?
We we're always learning, alwaysgrowing, how to improve, uh,

(16:30):
from that foundation, from thatcornerstone, who is Jesus
Christ?
So, number one, practicalsolution.
Start with your personal walk.
Mm-hmm.
Spend time and prayer.
Spend time in the word, cannotemphasize that enough.
Spend time in the word.
Start with 10 minutes a day.
If that's what it takes to getstarted.

(16:51):
Start with just 10 minutes a dayand grow from there.
It's all about starting, so getit started and grow from there.
Yeah, yeah.
Honor him here and see what heshows you about how you need to
grow in your Christ Centerrelationship with your spouse.
Yeah.

(17:12):
And then you can pray togetherbecause it's so important that
we come into prayer with ourspouse, and it doesn't have to
be essential fancy.
It is essential, yeah.
It doesn't have to be fancy.
Thank God.
Just thank God for your day.
Ask him to protect yourmarriage.
You know, one of the prayersthat we pray oftentimes is the

(17:34):
prayer of Jabez, and that's asimple prayer that.
Powerful it is.
And simple prayers lead topowerful unity.
We even like to add weekly andsometimes daily, sometimes daily
communion into our time withhim.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
And that's something that we, wehaven't always done.
I mean, that's something that wehave started more recently,

(17:56):
right?
As we grow, as we, as we maturein our, in our faith walk.
Mm-hmm.
Together.
Yeah.
And you know, they say that acouple that prays together stays
together.
We hear that all the time, but acouple that sits at his table
remains strong and stable,right?
So if we sit together at God'stable, we will remain strong and
stable.

(18:16):
Absolutely.
That's good.
That's good.
And I, and to add to the prayer,pray together.
Mm-hmm.
I remember something that, uh,that the pastor Tom Mullens said
years ago.
I remember when, when we were atChrist Fellowship.
Mm-hmm.
The pastor Tom said that henever left the house before he
prayed over Ms.
Donna, uh, the Lord's Prayer.

(18:37):
Yeah.
And I was like, man, that's agood idea.
Yeah.
And that's, and that's when Istarted that.
I never, uh, I leave for work.
I'm up and I'm out the door, uh,four or five days a week.
Uh, and if I'm with the guys onSaturday, sometimes four or five
hours earlier than me.
Right.
Right.
And I, but I don't leave thehouse.
The last thing I do before Ileave the house is I will, uh,

(18:58):
yeah, I'll pray the Lord'sprayer over stays and, and then,
uh, yeah.
You know, I love you.
And sometimes she's with it,sometimes not so much.
But the prayer is said, youknow, it's, it's honoring the
Lord, right.
With the, with our spouse andwith the first part of our day.
Mm-hmm.
So that brings us to numberthree, and that is worship.

(19:19):
In your home.
Yeah.
We talked about thisextensively.
Last episode was all aboutworship and what, and what it
actually is and, and what itactually means.
Uh, but worship is a weapon.
Mm.
Uh, it is worship is a weapon.
And I, that, that, again, will,that'll, that'll preach all day.
We're not gonna get deep intoit, but worship is a weapon that

(19:41):
keeps the enemy.
Uh, we all know that we have anenemy, but worship.
Is a weapon that keeps the enemyout of our space.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we don't want the, the enemyhas no rain in our space.
And if he, and if he's in ourspace, he's trespassing.
That's right.
This, this, this space here.
This belongs to Jesus Christ.
We were bought with a price andwe belong.

(20:04):
He has, the enemy has no placehere.
And he knows it.
So worship for Christ, for theFather, first for Christ, and in
the Holy Spirit keeps the enemyout of our space.
So we need to use that as aweapon.
That's good.
So whether.
Whether over a bountifulgrilling session of charred

(20:26):
flesh.
Ew, that's good stuff, man.
Like to eat it.
I don't wanna hear about it.
Charred, flesh, yummy.
But, uh, or whether it's StaceyJo, just, just digging the
worship music around the houseor whistling his glory in and
around our home or the office.
Uh, worship invites.
Our creator into our space, intoour daily space.

(20:49):
It sure does.
It sure does.
It's so important.
And I'm gonna say that four, thefourth way is a big one.
Huge.
Huge.
This one is huge.
And it may be one that, well,it's one that took me a hard
time to grasp a hold of.
Yeah.
And I'm sure I'm not alone inthat.

(21:11):
Um, but that is to practiceforgiveness quickly.
Mm.
Forgiveness, uhhuh forgiveness,that's a big one.
And there were times that Iwanted to stay bitter and angry,
and I thought I deserved that.
I deserved this happened to meand I deserved to be angry and
feel bitter about it, and I'mnot ready to forgive yet.
Yeah.
Because, because that alwaysworks.

(21:32):
Right?
But yeah, I, you know, I, I'veheard it, we've heard it often
said that resentment orbitterness is like drinking
poison and expecting the otherperson to die.
And it it, and it's true becauseit just eats you up inside.
It does.
It does nothing to the otherperson.
It doesn't.
So don't give bitterness afoothold.

(21:52):
Be quick to say, I'm sorry.
And even quicker to say, Iforgive you.
Absolutely.
Even if the other person islike, forgiving me for what?
But at least you know, and it'soff your plate.
Right?
Absolutely.
We gotta take care of our sideof the street.
That's right.
That's some old school recoverystuff there.
It sure is.
Right on our side of the street,but good stuff.

(22:13):
Whatever.
Whatever's in my hula hoop.
Right?
I'm, I'm, that's what I'mresponsible for.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're only responsible forourselves.
Right, right.
Yeah.
So number five of our, uh, fivepractical solutions is ask
intentional spiritual questions.
Mm-hmm.
So, ask your stop, take a momentand ask your spouse.

(22:38):
Mm-hmm.
What is God teaching you today?
Mm-hmm.
And see.
And, and see if that matches upwith what he's teaching you
today.
Yeah.
You know what he is teachingyour spouse, is that matching
with what he's saying to you inyour quiet time?
Mm-hmm.
Or how can you learn from eachother, you know?
Or how can I pray for you today?
That's a good question.
That's a good one.

(22:58):
That's a great question for, uh,anytime.
Anytime for, for the one that,that he's, that he's given,
given us.
Yeah.
You know, so intimacy startswith small conversations.
It does.
I mean, it, it just really doeswhi which.
Which brings me, I, I want us totake this to a fun place because
this has been pretty deep andwe've, you know, we've spoken

(23:21):
about the intimacy with the Lordand how that is the beginning of
intimacy with our spouse.
But, you know, something, wewanted to do something fun on
this episode because, becausethere, because intimacy.
It must be fun as well.
Yeah, absolutely.
We gotta have fun with it,right?
It does.
It's what we got.
Marriage should include joy and,and playtime too, right?

(23:43):
So, absolutely.
So I thought it would be fun ifwe did some.
Faithfully fun question andanswer.
All right.
Okay.
This is gonna let them get toknow us a little more.
Yeah.
And, and it's gonna give themsome prompts as well.
Absolutely.
Um, we'll, we'll recap theprompts at the end, but Right
on.
Um, yeah, so go ahead.

(24:04):
So this is your faithfully fun rmm-hmm.
Faithfully fun question andanswer session.
There's a few simplelighthearted questions to help
us connect on a, on a differentlevel.
You know, they're.
Pretty cool questions.
We're gonna go first and thenyou and your spouse can try it
later.
Yeah, we will.
We'll take the, the questionsand we'll put'em in the show

(24:26):
notes.
Yep.
So, alright, Alan, firstquestion, if you got to relive
one day, just one day that wehave spent together over the
years, what day would it be?
Yeah, this is, this is a toughone.
Yeah, I was, I'm like one day.
One day.
Yeah.
We're gonna celebrate 14 yearshere at the, uh, yeah.

(24:47):
In a couple of weeks.
Mm-hmm.
So I'm thinking one day, uh, sohonestly, I had to go to the
Lord on this one.
It might have been easier tosay.
What day do you not wannarelive?
No comment.
So anyway, I had to go to theLord on this one.
'cause you know, it'd be easy tomm-hmm.
To pick a day from, um, from thegood times that we've had'cause,

(25:09):
and we've had a lot of goodtimes.
Yeah.
Uh, that's, that's kind ofcliche.
It's easy to pick any one ofthose days.
Um, but, you know, the Lordreminded me of the first day in
this house.
Mm.
And I was like, just so youknow, we, we record in our home.
So in our living room, right.
Not everybody knows that, butthis is where, this is our home
studio.
Yeah.
Right.

(25:30):
So he, I, um, it's, we listen,when, when, when we go to the
Lord and I, I had some quiettime and I'm just like, Lord,
what, what is the.
The day I'd like to relive.
What do you say about that?
He's like, and he reminded me,I'm like, all right, you know,
we're looking for spontaneousthoughts that don't often make
sense.
And I was like, all right.
This one, this one checked bothof those boxes.

(25:51):
It's, it was a spontaneousthought, uh, that I had.
I certainly didn't think ofthat.
And, uh, and it didn't reallymake sense.
He said, uh, he reminded me ofthe first day in his house.
Now, honestly, I don't recallany particular moment from that
day, but, uh, this.
This place was the first placein years.

(26:12):
We looked for a house for years.
Three.
Three years.
Three years.
Yeah.
And this was, uh, this was thefirst place that we walked into
with a new realtor mm-hmm.
That the entire family agreedupon.
Yeah.
Uh, and the move went perfectly.
I was perfectly assistant and,uh, the move was done in a very

(26:34):
timely manner.
Uh, and the first day marked ournew beginning.
Yeah.
As a couple and as a family inthis house.
And like I said, I, I don'tremember a particular moment
from that day, but look at whathe's done with a sense in this
house.
Yeah.
A lot, a lot, A lot hashappened.
Since we a a lot, so, so that's,uh, um, so what about you?

(27:01):
Oh my goodness.
Like one day, one one day go.
Um, I.
My gosh.
I mean, there's so many and Icould, I could go shallow and I
could say like, I loved the daythat we spent at the beach for
my birthday last year.
Yeah.
Like we, we just spent a wholeday, um, just enjoying each

(27:22):
other's company.
Yeah.
No phones, no nothing, just.
You know, went and had oystersand went to the beach and Yeah.
And I think we even went andgot, uh, Manny's and Petties and
we did.
Yeah.
Was It was a good day.
It was, it was a great day.
And we did that just earlierthis week too.
We did.
So we gotta have fun.
And we just, we're like, Hey, wegotta have fun.
Uh, we're gonna go out.

(27:43):
And we just, we made it up as wego.
We didn't have any agenda, youknow?
Yeah, yeah.
But, uh, anyway, but I, but Iwould say.
The day that I had therealization that I needed to
work on myself and well, thatcrossed my mind.
I did it.
It did.
Go ahead.

(28:03):
I remember waking up in themorning and you were just
getting outta bed, I think, andI said, Alan.
You need to sit down.
I have something to tell youbecause you'd been praying for
that for a long time for me tostep into.
At the time we were in CelebrateRecovery.
Yeah.
Or you were in CelebrateRecovery and I was leading
worship.

(28:24):
Right.
And, but I wasn't, I Unless youwere giving the teaching.
I would leave right after theteaching or after I was done
singing.
And I remember that morning and.
I said, Alan, I need for you tosit down because the Lord had
been stirring in my heart thatI'll get choked up.

(28:44):
Yeah.
The Lord had been stirring in myheart that I needed to work on
myself.
There had been such pride andsuch things that had happened to
me throughout the years.
Yeah, and I'm not sure if whenyou sat down you thought I was
gonna say I was pregnant orsomething, but.
I don't recall.
I don't recall what I might havethought or what I thought was
coming, but I do recall that Iwas verle Yeah.

(29:08):
Uh, at the, at the answer.
Right.
And I was uh,'cause that was ananswer to prayer.
Yeah.
And as I was going through that,that day did cross my mind.
Yeah.
Uh, it was, uh, and so I said,the Lord Choice has, the Lord
has called me to step into astep study with Celebrate
Recovery.
And I remember you sitting backdown on the bed and just.

(29:30):
Weeping.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
Yeah, it was awesome.
Tears of joy.
Tears of joy.
Tears of joy.
Because he had been praying forthat.
He had been praying for that.
So I would say that one for me.
That was a little deep.
That was good.
That was a, we just said we weregonna, it's still fun.
It's still fun.
Good memories.
Yeah, good memories.
But, um, alright, let's go tosecond question next.

(29:55):
So what's, uh, what's one thingthat I do that shows you that
I'm thinking about you evenwithout words?
Oh, well, definitely it's whenyou bring me my coffee, um, like
usually on a Saturday or Sundaymorning, you'll bring me my
coffee or sometimes it's, um,when you say, Hey, I bought you

(30:15):
a new, I stocked the fridgewith, uh, Coke zeroes.
Yeah.
Because that's my, I'd saythat's my guilty pleasure is my
Coke zero.
That's her jam.
Yeah.
And, uh.
And you'll come and say, Hey, Istocked the refrigerator.
So I would say, you know, it's,it's the little things
sometimes.
It is, it is absolutely thelittle thing sometimes.
So.
All right.

(30:35):
What about you?
Yeah, it's, uh, whenever, uh,whenever you come into a room
with me, may, maybe the kitchenhugs for no reason, but love in
the moment.
Aw, it's pretty cool.
Um.
Or when you enter the room andyou, you spread out your arms
and you announce you will hug menow.

(30:56):
Yeah.
It's a, usually I'm focused ongetting something done and
that's, it's, uh, it's, I makeyou stop somewhat humorous, but
I, I make you stop.
Yeah.
But what I, what I really love,uh, is when I'm working at my
desk and you, you quietly comeup behind me and you gently put
your, your arms around my neckand my shoulders, and you.

(31:18):
Probably gimme a kiss on a cheekand, uh, Aw.
And just tell me you love me.
Just, or, or, thanks for allthat I do.
And, uh, so that's, I reallylike that.
That's good stuff there.
Awesome.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I'm gonna ask you anotherone.
Um, if you could take, if we, ifwe could take a spontaneous week

(31:38):
and get away, noresponsibilities, where are we
going?
Like where would you, wherewould you take me?
Where are you going?
What's that?
You first?
Oh, well, okay.
Well, I'm gonna say somewherewith water.
I'm gonna say a no cell service.
No cell service.
No service.
Service.
And just uninterrupted time withyou.

(32:00):
You know, I'm, I'm a beach girl.
I like to have my toes in thesand, so, so probably a sandy
beach, maybe a desert, desertedisland somewhere.
I don't know, but yeah.
Well, I'm gonna, uh, I'm gonnago with the same, yeah.
Definitely, uh, anywhere that wecan enjoy, uh, the Lord's
beautiful creation togetherwithout interruptions.

(32:21):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, uh, maybe the hot springs,you know.
Ooh, hot springs.
We, uh, okay.
Hot springs for a long weekend,uh, with no phones, no computer,
no agenda, just us and the Lordand the wonder of his beauty.
No cat.
Definitely no cat.

(32:41):
As our cat has come to join uson the set here right now.
But there she is.
You know, this is the infamousTinkerbell.
Anyhow.
Hi Tank.
You.
I know you were born to be astar.
The glory of a home studio.
Yes.
Video.
Alright, let's do one more.
How about one more?

(33:01):
Yeah, we can do one more.
Um, what's the one way.
That, uh, that I can, uh, prayfor you this week?
Ah, this is one that we saidwould be a good one.
You said would be a good one to,that's always one to ask.
Yeah.
I would say for wisdom and forclarity as we continue building
this ministry together and as wecontinue to do these podcasts,

(33:23):
that, that we would clearly hearthe Lord's voice for direction.
Yeah.
And the next steps.
What about you?
Absolutely.
How can I pray for you?
I would, uh, I would definitelysay the same, uh, wisdom and
clarity.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, may, it might sound cliche,but, uh, where we are.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, and, and what the Lord'splaced in front of us that's so

(33:44):
needed here.
Um, yeah.
Just as we live from, uh, hisvictory, uh, we always want to
lead, uh, from his will.
Yes.
So remember, his plans and hispurposes are always higher and
greater than our own.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, so definitely, definitelypraying for wisdom and clarity.

(34:07):
I love it when we're on the samepage.
It's good.
It's good.
But we, we had another question.
Oh, did we?
About, uh.
Uh, the stranded island thing,who would, uh, oh yeah.
So if we were, yeah, this is afun one.
That is a fun one.
If we were stranded on a desertisland, um, yeah.

(34:29):
Which one of us would survive?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So who would survive thelongest, I think was the, the
question who would the longeston a, if we were stranded on a
desert island?
And I'm gonna go with that.
Uh, I believe that, uh, bystranded island standards.
I'm, I'm kind of a city boystill, but, uh, but still a man.

(34:49):
Uh, and I'm gonna, as a man, I'mgonna do, uh, I'm gonna do my
best to, uh, do what I gotta dowhen it comes down to it, right?
So, so that said, as I survive,so do you.
Okay, so said, what am I, asavage?

(35:10):
Just, you're not a savage,you're just a good protector.
I am.
That when you're a goodprotector, that's, you know, as
a husband, going back toEphesians five, uh, just as I
love you, as Christ loved thechurch.
Especially shall I, uh, care foryou in those desperate
situations.
Yeah.
So, so, yeah.
So we survive.

(35:32):
So we survive together.
Together.
That's what it, that's what it'sabout.
And that's a, that's a reallygreat answer from this, this
comfy, uh, home studio.
It is a really good answer's.
What?
And it comes down to it.
You know, we survive.
Well, thank you for protectingme Well, absolutely.
And, and helping me to survivealong with you.
You better Thank Jesus.
'cause he, he's the one that putme up to it.

(35:55):
Alright friends, well it's yourturn.
Here are the four questionanswer prompts to ask each
other.
You know, if actually there'sfive, because we had added the
extra whi.
But the first one is, if we gotto relive relive one day that we
spent together, what day wouldit be?
Right.
Ask your spouse this and seewhat his or her answer is,

(36:16):
right?
And see how they line up.
And uh, the second question is,what's the one thing that that
you do that shows your spousethat you love them?
Uh, maybe without using words.
Mm-hmm.
I like that one.
Uh, the third one would be ifyou could take a spontaneous
weekend getaway, where would yougo?

(36:40):
Yep.
And number four?
Mm-hmm.
Is if you were stranded uhhuh ona desert island, who would
survive the longest?
Yeah.
Hopefully you come up with thesame answer that Alan did.
Rewind it and check it out,guys.
That's the, that's the Ephesiansfive answer whenever we're
aligned with the Lord's word.

(37:02):
That's right.
Yeah, we're doing all right.
And then of course, always askyour spouse daily, what's one
way I can pray for you todaythat's good, or this week, you
know, that's good, butpreferably ask him daily.
How can I pray for you today?
That's good.
It's important to take thattime.
Yeah.
But these small questions, Imean, they can spark big
connections.
I mean, it helps withcommunication.
Communication was one of ourissues in the very beginning.

(37:24):
We didn't know how tocommunicate with one another,
but you don't need a mountainretreat, although.
That sounds kind of nice too,but yeah.
It's coming.
Yeah.
But just, you just need a fewminutes of presence.
Of presence and intentionalitywith one another.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's important.
What about living a life thatdoesn't require a annual

(37:45):
vacation?
Mm mm-hmm.
So when we make room for, forjoy and vulnerability, yeah.
We invite God.
To bless our space.
Yeah, our space.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, you know, here's your,here's your call to action.
Pick one of those questions andthe question and answer prompts.

(38:07):
And start a conversation.
Do it tonight.
Today.
Do it tonight.
Do it today.
Do it now.
You don't have to do all ofthem, but take one.
Maybe spread'em out throughoutthe week.
No pressure.
Just presence with each other.
Definitely.
Ask her the question now.
So even if you and your spouse,uh, even if your spouse isn't

(38:29):
there mm-hmm.
Uh, spiritually, yet weencourage you, don't stop
seeking the Lord.
Yeah.
Because it's, it's the overflowfrom your faith that blesses
your home.
Yeah.
So next week we're gonna wrap upthis first season with a
powerful episode.
About how intimacy with Godfuels your calling and kingdom

(38:51):
impact and you don't want tomiss it.
Yeah.
Until then, keep loving.
Well, praying first, laughingoff.
And always remember when you arefaithfully invested, invested
God brings, God brings theincrease.
Have a blessed week.
Take care.
See you next week.
Thanks for joining us onFaithfully Invested with Allen

(39:13):
and Stacy Jo, if today'sconversation encouraged you,
challenged you, or helped yousee your calling more clearly,
don't keep it to yourself.
That's right.
Share it with a friend.
Leave a five star review andkeep leaning into God's
blueprint for your life, yourleadership, and your legacy.
So until next time, remember,when you invest in his kingdom,

(39:33):
he brings the increase.