October 1, 2025 • 54 mins
Sacred Spaces — Stewarding Relationships with Honor and Humility
In a world that rewards hot takes and quick clap-backs, Jesus calls us to something better: honor, humility, and Spirit-led boundaries. This conversation gets practical about stewarding relationships—marriage, friendships, coworkers, ministry—like the sacred spaces they are.
In this episode
- How to honor people you disagree with (without going passive)
- Humility over pride: why connection beats competition
- Setting Spirit-led boundaries that protect, not punish
- Forgiveness as releasing uncollectible debt (Eph 4:32)
- Valuing people over preferences (Phil 2:3)
- Seeing every relationship as ministry (Col 3:23)
- Inviting the Holy Spirit into your daily interactions
Scriptures
Romans 12:9–18; Philippians 2:3; Ephesians 4:32; Proverbs 4:23; Ephesians 6:10–18; Colossians 3:23
Reflection questions
- Where am I choosing preference over people?
- What boundary (Spirit-led) would protect connection this week?
- Who do I need to forgive—and what debt am I still trying to collect?
- How does the Holy Spirit see the person I’m struggling with?
Weekly challenge
- Pray: “Holy Spirit, how can I honor someone today?”
- Put one boundary in place that preserves peace.
- Replace one criticism with encouragement—on purpose.
Connect
If this episode encouraged you, share it, subscribe, and leave a 5⭐ review so more faith-driven leaders can find the show.
Join the community & get updates: faithfullyinvested.com
Keywords: Christian relationships, honor and humility, Romans 12, Christian marriage, forgiveness, Spirit-led boundaries, Holy Spirit, conflict resolution, Christian leadership, faith and work, Ephesians 6 armor of God, Proverbs 4:23, Colossians 3:23, Philippians 2:3
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Are you ready to build a life,business and legacy that truly
lasts?
Welcome to Faithfully Investedwith Allen and Stacy Jo Thorne,
where Faith meets real talk.
Biblical wisdom meets everydaylife and leadership meets
laughter.
Together we will uncover God'sblueprint for leadership,
marriage, and mission, helpingfaith-driven leaders invest in
(00:21):
what matters most.
Each episode, we explorebiblical wisdom, have real
conversations, and of course,have some fun along the way
because let's be real.
Walking in faith is anadventure.
It sure is.
So pull up a seat, grab yourcoffee or your sweet tea, and
join us as we steward ourcallings with intention, because
(00:42):
when we invest in his kingdom,he brings the increase.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to FaithfullyInvested, where Faith meets Real
Talk.
Biblical wisdom meets everydaylife, and more often than not,
leadership meets some laughter.
(01:03):
Yeah, usually laughter isheavily involved, right?
Uh, we love coming together tohonor the Lord as we uncover his
blueprint for leadership,marriage, and mission, uh, while
helping others invest in whatmatters most.
Right.
And if you are, if this is yourfirst time tuning in, we are so
glad that you're here, first andforemost.
And I'm Stacy Jo.
(01:24):
I'm a business owner.
I'm a speaker, I'm an author,and I am passionate about
helping faith-driven leaderssteward their resources with
excellence.
Yeah.
I just sitting here andlistening to that, and I know I,
I live with you, but I gotta sayI'm pretty darn proud of you,
lady.
Aw.
You've come a long way.
Well thanks babe.
I'm pretty darn proud of you aswell.
Very special, very special lady.
(01:45):
And I'm obviously not Stacy Jo.
My name is Allen and I've spent,uh, almost 25 years in, in the
corporate construction industry,and I also serve as reviving
recovery unbound author andteaching pastor.
And I've been blessed, uh, towrite about, uh, my experience
under and in the authoritativepower of Jesus Christ and the
(02:08):
Holy Spirit.
Uh, for our restoration and ourrenewal as he's led us into
freedom, like we've really neverknown.
Uh, it's, uh, wow.
Uh, but, and this is what firesme up the most is I, I love
doing this podcast'cause we getto share our experience.
But what fires me up the mostis, is helping people discover
(02:31):
their God-given identity andpurpose.
Everyone's got a purpose.
We were created on purpose, forpurpose.
And you know, the, the questionis, why am I here?
Why are we here?
Uh, and through RevivingRecovery Unbound, which is a
call, I don't want to dig toodeep into that, but the, the
(02:53):
Lord blessed, uh.
Blessed me and, and, and usreally, uh, with the content,
uh, the spirit driven content.
Mm-hmm.
A spirit breathe content ofreviving recovery unbound.
That really is a, uh, aguidebook for, uh, that points
back to the guidebook that isGod's word of, of who we are in
(03:17):
Christ, discovering our identityand our purpose.
Yeah.
Well, and in case you haven'tguessed yet, we are also husband
and wife see, and Right.
And we have been through, we'vebeen through some stuff
together.
Y'all.
A lot of stuff.
Yeah.
We've been through some, um,ringers.
(03:39):
Right.
Both the kind of.
Things, you know, the trialsthat can tear you apart.
Um, we've seen a lot of those.
Yeah.
And it almost did tear us apartand it's, wherever there's
trial, there's a victory.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And you know, we have seen thekind of victories that only God
could bring because Absolutely.
(03:59):
We were almost torn, torn, torn,torn apart.
Spread it out lady.
And that's why this podcastexists.
We're not here just to talkabout theory.
You can get theory anywhere.
We want to talk about experienceand we want to bring you real
life.
Bring, bring you along on ourreal life journey.
(04:20):
Mm-hmm.
You know, it's of how weactually do live.
Faithfully invested.
Through our God blessed life,right?
And today we are talking about acon.
We're having a conversation thattouches all of us and it's about
relationships, you know, whetherit's marriage, friendships,
coworkers, maybe it'sfriendships, or maybe it's
(04:43):
ministry, connections,relationships, and ministry.
Um, but regardless of therelationship, they are sacred
spaces.
And when we honor them.
We approach them with humility,which can sometimes be
difficult.
Right.
Right, babe.
Yeah, absolutely.
They can be some of thegreatest, the greatest
(05:06):
reflections of God's love.
Yeah.
Relationships are very importantto the Lord, you know, and I, I
found over, over time that when,when my relationship with him.
Improves.
Uh, when, when I draw near tohim and he draws near to me,
then our, our relationship, our,my primary relationship is with
him.
(05:27):
But then our, my, uh, sorrybabe.
You're number two.
And that's what I love.
That's, that's one of the mainthings I love about this lady.
She's cool with being number twoto Jesus.
Yeah.
And, and, and likewise.
But, uh, relationships arepretty, pretty, uh, actually
they're, they're pinnacle to theLord.
Uh, we were created forrelation.
Relation and, uh mm-hmm.
Yeah.
(05:47):
So when we're honoring ourrelationships, uh, in, in
humility, we're honoring theLord.
Uh, but it, there's challengesthrough that, right?
There's in every relationship,every every relationship has
challenges.
Yeah.
Doesn't matter.
You don't, you don't have to gotoo far to find a challenge.
They're honoring people's.
It's easy when we have, uh,common belief structures and,
(06:10):
and interests.
You know, it's easy, you know,honoring people that we get
along with and that we agreewith.
And, and who agree with us, butwhat happens when we don't
agree?
Mm.
Uh oh.
Yeah.
We haven't seen much of thatlately.
He said somewhat sarcastically.
Uh, what happens when ourbeliefs, uh, don't line up?
(06:31):
Yeah.
With, with someone else's.
What happens when what we knowto be experientially true.
It's challenged by others.
What do we do then?
Well, I think, you know, as werecord this, we're recording it
on the day of Charlie Kirk'smemorial service.
Yeah.
And looking at what has happenedover the course of the last 10
(06:55):
days.
Yeah.
11 days, whatever.
It's 11 days.
11 days, yeah.
Give or take.
Um, you know, seeing how peopleare not honoring.
Each other, how they are, howthe enemy is causing division,
and using as we're gonna getinto talking about pride.
(07:18):
Using pride, yeah.
As a tool, as a weapon to dividepeople.
Yeah.
And Charlie was so good.
At honoring people, even if hedidn't agree with them.
Yeah.
He would listen to them.
He gave them an opportunity tospeak and he would come back
with biblical truth.
(07:39):
Right.
But, and.
Go ahead.
And something I saw on socialmedia, which I'm really trying
just anyway, trying, uh, to moveaway from actually, but I, I,
they, they called Charlie apolitician.
And Charlie wasn't a politician.
(07:59):
He, he, in fact, he said manytimes that he wa wasn't gonna
run for office.
I thought it would've been greatif he did, but that's, he didn't
believe that's where the Lordwas calling him to.
Right.
And he wasn't a politician.
What he was, was an evangelistand, and probably one of the
greatest evangelists of ourtime, absolutely.
Of my lifetime.
He, he was bold and I, I don'tknow, there was a prominent, uh.
(08:24):
Pastor who actually, and this isa bold statement, compared
Charlie to the Apostle Paul.
Right.
Uh,'cause he was bold and hewent out and, and he was
knowledgeable.
And, and I I love that thesekids and, and, and, and the, on
the universities and the collegecampuses where he went to, to
peacefully debate them, uh, theywould, they would pick on that,
(08:46):
that would be one of theirthings.
Well, you don't even have adegree.
You're uneducated, but he wasprobably not, probably, he was
absolutely more educated than,uh, than probably most of the
professors on those campusesand, and truth.
He was educated in truth.
And when you have truth and whenyou stand on truth, you can
(09:07):
debate lies and deception allday long.
And Charlie was the best at thatmoment.
He was.
He really was.
And you know, Romans 12:10 says,uh, be devoted to one another in
love.
Honor one another aboveyourselves and notice it does
not say honor those who deserveit.
Yeah, it doesn't say honor thosewho.
(09:31):
Only make you happy.
Who only say the things that youwant them to say.
Yeah.
Who only agree with you.
No, it certainly doesn't saythat.
No.
Uh, our world culture usuallyoperates from a, a performance
based honor system.
Uh, if you meet my expectations,you're in, I'm gonna treat you
(09:52):
well.
But if you don't, if you fallshort, eh, you can go over
there.
Yeah, performance based honorsystem's.
Not, uh, that's not what theLord was talking about at all.
Um, kingdom standards flippedthat over on its ear a little
bit, and I think I'd, I'd beremiss, uh, if I, I just, if I
(10:14):
didn't elaborate on your Romans12 Yeah.
Uh, reference, uh, Roman'sprobably one of my favorite.
It's hard to pick a favorite of,of Paul's, um, epistles, but you
know.
You mentioned Romans, uh, 12:10.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, and that's where the justicestarts.
But Paul really lays it out, uh,all the way through, uh, Romans
(10:41):
12, and he gives us a lot toconsider as Christ followers.
Right.
Uh, for example, in verse nine,he encourages us to let love.
He, he's don't be.
No.
Uh, don't be hypocrites in ourlove.
Let love be without hypocrisy.
Right?
Yeah.
So that's a good one.
(11:02):
Well, you know, it's necessary.
It's, we're talking aboutrelationships, so let love be
without hypocrisy.
Uh, verse 14, that goes back tothe do what I say, not as I do.
Remember, I, I can remember asa, as a child Yeah.
Do what I say, not as I do.
Yeah.
And I always thought that was soconfusing.
But that go, I mean, that goesright along with that.
(11:22):
That goes right along with that.
That was certainly a, ahypocritical statement.
Yeah.
Right.
Hmm.
I heard that too.
Imagination Will did.
Right.
Uh, so, but, uh, uh, Romans12:14 suggests that we bless
those who persecute you.
Uh, bless and do not pay back.
(11:43):
Uh, a blessed and do not curse.
Uh, and verse uh, the, thelatter part of verse 16 and the
early part of verse, uh, 17 inRomans 12 teaches us to not be
wise in our own estimation.
Mm.
And to never pay back evil forevil to anyone.
Yeah.
(12:03):
Anyone.
Yeah.
Uh, but here's the kicker.
I'm just gonna say that's hardsometimes.
I, I think that's hard all thetime.
Yeah.
And I really think we gotta, uh,I, I love what anyone who's
listened or watched us for awhile knows that I really
appreciate John Eldridge and,uh, that.
It's, it, it is difficult.
(12:24):
Yeah.
But, uh, John teaches somethingin his new book, um, experience
Jesus Really, uh, he teaches iton, on the, uh, associated, uh,
um, app, the, the Pause app andthe, uh, experience Jesus.
Mm-hmm.
Part of that app.
Uh.
Uh, benevolent detachment.
(12:44):
Yeah.
Uh, we gotta release everyoneand everything to you Lord.
And that's a daily thing, right?
I release everyone andeverything to you.
'cause you know, life life'schallenging and it's even more
challenging as we go out andpresent truth.
You know, I, um, and it's evenmore challenging the more
relationships you come into.
Absolutely.
There's always more opportunity.
(13:06):
Right.
But back to the kicker.
Yeah.
Verse 18 is the kicker.
He says, as much as it dependson me.
Yeah.
But Paul says you, but as muchas it depends on, you live at
peace with all men, live atpeace with all people.
Now there's your challenge.
Right.
That's a challenge.
Uh, so take some time to digestthat.
(13:28):
Sit on that for a while.
Mm-hmm.
Simmer in that.
Let that simmer, uh, we know,uh, Roman and get into Romans
12.
Yeah.
Dig into Romans 12.
And, uh, yeah.
Sounds good.
It's a lot.
It's a, yeah.
Romans, uh, as, as a whole is,is brilliant.
(13:49):
Uh, Paul, as his entirecollection of EPIs is brilliant,
but, uh, it's a lot to take in.
It is a lot to take in.
And that's a whole lot.
It looks a whole lot differentfrom the age that we're living
in right now.
It does.
Especially what we've seen, youknow, like we touched on before.
Yeah.
Especially what we've seen inthe last.
(14:10):
11 days or so.
Ab Absolutely.
And the more the, the, the moreI go, we go on the journey
together.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, the Christ followingjourney, the more it makes sense
that the word, uh.
The infallible word of God isour playbook for life.
(14:30):
It is, it is our playbook forlife.
But our flesh doesn't like that.
No, it doesn't.
And other people's flesh don'tlike it either.
That's true.
But it, uh, it does, itcertainly does look a little
different in this day and age.
And, but it, but it doesn't, it,it looks this day and age looks
different, but the word doesn't.
Look different.
God's the same yesterday.
(14:51):
Today.
Yesterday.
Today and, and forever.
Today and tomorrow.
The word, the word doesn'tchange the right because truth,
objective truth doesn't change.
That's right.
This isn't my truth.
Yeah.
This is the truth.
Mm-hmm.
And his name's Jesus.
Absolutely.
Um, you know, but, but ourpride, our pride resists it.
It's not one of the sevendeadlies for nothing.
(15:11):
I mentioned, I mentioned itbefore, and, and our culture
nearly refuses it.
Yeah.
Um, but God calls us to choosehonor over ego and humility over
pride.
He does.
And that's tough because likeyou said, it, we have to die
(15:32):
just ourselves daily and youknow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what, it's what itreally, and.
It's not what I said.
That's, that's not my No, no, Iknow, but what Jesus said.
What you reiterated.
Yeah.
What you reiterated, reiteratedthe truth of the Lord's word is
what Jesus said is that ifanyone is to follow me, mm-hmm.
If we're gonna follow Christ, wegotta deny ourselves, pick up
(15:55):
our cross daily and follow him.
That's what, that's what hecalls us to do.
Well, yes, and the doggos seemto want to be on the set today.
So Hello.
There are mask guards and Leia.
Best pugs ever.
Yes.
We're, we're so, so glad to haveyou with us.
But back to, to pride.
Uh, yeah.
(16:16):
Being's a little prideful whenshe, she wants what she wants
when she wants it.
Right.
And, uh, and I guess we'veplayed into that a bit, but
pride is a huge blockade.
Yeah.
Uh, I write about it and, um.
And, uh, reviving recoveryunbound.
We're not gonna dig deep intothat, right?
Uh, but it's a, it's a massiveblockade in this day and age.
(16:38):
Uh, but I gotta say.
Much like everything else, Godcalled it.
Uh,'cause pride doesn't get muchof a shout out through, through
God's infallible word.
Uh, it gets a pretty negativeconnotation, uh, from the old
and through all the NewTestament.
Uh, a quick example of thatwould be, uh, Solomon's wisdom
(16:59):
in Proverbs 16.
Mm-hmm.
That recognizes that pride comesbefore destruction.
Hello?
What?
Yeah.
You want destruction?
Hold on to some pride.
Hold onto that pride.
Pride comes before destruction.
And then, and then James, uh, inthe New Testament, the tail end
of the New Testament reminds usthat God opposes the proud, but
(17:21):
he shows favor to the humble.
Yeah.
So when we fail to steward ourrelationships with honor and hu
humility, and, and let me, letme just say this.
When, when we fail to honor, uh,our relationships with, uh, fail
to steward our relationshipswith honor and humility, if
(17:45):
we're not honoring ourrelationships, then we're not
honoring our primaryrelationship, which is with the
Lord.
True.
And if we're not, if we refuseto.
To pursue honor and pursuehumility, the fallout can be
massive.
And we see in, we see division,we see division in marriages, we
see division in brokenfriendships and, and, and family
(18:08):
relations, toxic workplaces, andeven in the church.
You know, don't, don't gothinking that the church is a
perfect place for perfectpeople, or you'll be seriously
disappointed.
Uh, I, and I am kind of, kind ofjoking here, but kinda, uh, not
I blame Burger King.
I.
(18:29):
In 1974, they had a, a slogancalled Have It Your Way.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
I looked it up as 1974.
But a, a better, a better sloganwould be have it Yahweh, right?
Yahweh Notwe Your Way.
Yeah.
Have it Yahweh.
But, uh, anyway, moving on.
Oh my babe, you come up withsome good ones sometimes.
(18:52):
Yeah, I know.
Your, your, your recollectionof, of pop culture, like that
kind of, you know, blows me awaysometimes because I didn't even
remember that one.
I watched a lot of TV when I wasa kid.
This, so did I.
Yes.
But, you know, let's, let'sestablish that.
(19:16):
None of us, including myself, dothis perfectly.
You know, none of us are perfectat living out Romans 12:10 in
our everyday lives.
Not even you.
No.
Especially not me.
And I never, I would never evensay that.
I, I'm, I'm like.
(19:36):
Even scratching the surface ofperfection with that.
Right.
Trust us.
There's no perfection here,folks.
No, absolutely not.
Right.
But I think back, uh, this workrelationships, yeah.
I think back in this, uh, uh, toa relationship, uh, it was
several years ago, uh, I had acoworker who irritated the heck
(20:00):
out of me.
Mm-hmm.
I think I might know which oneyou're talking about.
Well, you know, there's no needto present names here.
No.
Uh, his safety wouldn't, Iwouldn't, uh, I'm, I'm a safety
professional, uh, in corporateconstruction, concrete
restoration and strengthening.
Uh, and this dude's safety waslevel one at best.
Mm-hmm.
And there's, there's four levelin the structural safety
(20:21):
culture, but he was level one atbest.
And, uh, oddly enough, his guysnever got hurt.
But, uh, I, I'm gonna call thatluck.
Um, but, uh, and it and his, andhis sarcasm concerning, uh, it
wasn't pleasant.
It was about as pleasant asnails on a chalkboard.
And he was, he was a master atdodging accountability.
(20:43):
Uh, he loved to play the blamegame, and, and he was, he was
very challenging.
Yeah.
To say the absolute least.
Yeah, I remember, uh.
Do you remember me coming home?
I do, uh, a little frustrated attimes.
I, I, yeah, I definitelyremember you coming home
frustrated at times.
I was gonna, I, I was trying tothink of which one you, uh,
(21:04):
exactly which one you're talkingabout.
I think, I know, right?
It doesn't matter, but it'sjust, there's been more than
one, I guess is my point there.
There have been a few, but youknow, they're, uh, but there,
there's a point here.
Yeah.
Um.
I complained so much about that,and this, this is not, not to my
credit, but you know, again, noperfection here.
(21:27):
I complained so much about that.
I got tired of hearing me whineabout it.
But, uh, but the Holy Spiritwouldn't let me off the hook.
He kept pressing me.
He said, Allen, look deeper.
Yeah, listen to me and lookdeeper.
See the person, not thechallenge.
Ooh.
(21:48):
Yeah.
So later I learned that younever know what somebody else is
going through and that, youknow, and I remember, uh, the
proprietor of a paint shop thatI worked in and the, uh.
In the late eighties, earlynineties in northeastern Ohio.
And we, I used to butt headswith the shop foreman and he
pulled us both aside.
He is like, you guys are actinglike boys.
(22:09):
Cut it out.
You don't know what each other'sgoing through.
Mm.
You guys, you don't know whosomeone's going through.
Yeah.
So, um, she wants to saysomething, uh, clearly.
Um, but back, back to thecurrent, uh, scenario.
Uh.
The, you don't know what the,what the challenge was.
(22:30):
And later I learned that thisguy who was such a challenge,
uh, that he was walking througha painful divorce.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And it was, uh, an atypical, uh,construction, tough guy persona.
He masked everything inrebellious sarcasm.
Uh, and suddenly when, when I,when I realized that, uh, his
(22:53):
behavior made sense.
It wasn't acceptable, but itmade sense and I realized that I
was missing an opportunity forministry.
I was missing a ministryopportunity.
And, and, and I've had severalministry opportunities and yeah,
in, in the, uh, constructionfield.
Uh, but I was lettingfrustration, uh, outweigh
(23:14):
compassion.
And I was, uh, that's a toughplace to be in.
It is.
So we, we did talk about Jesusand uh, unfortunately he wasn't
too receptive, but I can saythat the seed was planted and
that's all you can do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes that's all you can do.
You gotta plant the seed andlike let the Lord water it.
(23:35):
That said, that's what the wordsays and yeah babe, that's
powerful And yeah.
You know, I've, I've had my ownlessons in this and I, I, would
I go back to our marriage, like,I would say, especially in
marriage, because early on andeven not so early on, you know,
I, I wanted to win argumentswhen we would argue I wanted to
(23:56):
be the one who won.
Uh, sorry, I wanted to prove mypoint.
Yeah.
Okay.
And, you know, pride, pridewould say.
If you back down, you lose.
Yeah.
If you back down, you lose.
Yeah.
Pride's a liar.
And so I would puff back up andI'd come back at you and, you
(24:18):
know, with words, it was alwayswords.
It was never physical, but,right.
Yeah.
Or we, but our, our, our, our,you know, our arguments that we
have had.
Yeah.
Um, but humility, you know,humility taught me the opposite.
Humility taught me that when I,when I softened my tone.
Yeah.
(24:39):
When I listened instead ofspeaking or reacting.
Yeah.
When I would respond instead ofreact right then, or when I
would choose connection overcompetition.
I love that.
Yeah.
Connection over competition.
Yeah.
I've always been kind of acompetitive person from since
(25:01):
early on.
Right.
And uh.
It was kind of inherent in mynature, right?
But, um, sometimes I would justhave to walk away and pray over
the situation.
And when that would happen, whenI would walk away, when I would
humble myself to walk away andget into prayer about it, then
(25:21):
we would both win.
That's it, that's what the Lordsays.
That's what the Lord says is,uh, humble yourself before the
Lord and he'll lift you up.
Right.
You know, he, he'll show you theway.
And I, and I like that.
What that really says to me isthat he'll lift you up, is he'll
lift you up past, uh, the, thechallenge that you're in and,
and be able to see the biggerpicture, right.
I'm not sure if that what Jamesmeant, and I'm not really sure.
(25:44):
That's just what in this momentand what it really means to me.
He'll lift you up to see pastthe challenges.
Yeah.
He'll lift you up maybe to showyou his perspective.
Well humble yourself before himand he'll lift you up.
And when he lifts us up to thatpoint, that was the point where
we could come together and wecould pray together.
Yeah.
Over the situation.
Yeah.
Not just me praying by myself oryou praying by yourself, but
(26:06):
when he lifted us up.
To that point where we could seethe bigger picture.
Right.
Then we could come together and,and pray together.
Right.
And then the enemy really got akick in the face.
Yeah.
Winner, winner family dinner.
Right.
Right.
Here's right, here's anotherstruggle.
Um, people views honor withpassivity.
(26:28):
Mm mm-hmm.
Newsflash folks.
Jesus was not.
Passive.
Alright.
And we're not called, we'recalled to love and, and present
the truth and love, but we'renot called to be passive.
We're not called to tolerate,uh, nonsense.
Right?
Uh, so, uh, I think that's whyhe flipped tables in the, in the
(26:52):
temple, right?
I, I think he was, yeah, therewere, there were boundaries.
And, we'll, and we'll get intothat here in just a minute, but,
um.
People think that, uh, if, ifwe're gonna honor someone, then
we have to be the yes guy.
We gotta say yes to everything.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, we gotta tolerate unhealthybehavior, not the case.
Uh, Proverbs 4 23 says, aboveall else, guard your heart for
(27:17):
everything flows from it.
Yeah.
Uh, likewise, over time we'vebeen able to connect Ephesians
6:14.
with Proverbs 4, that tells usto put on the breastplate of
righteousness.
Mm-hmm.
For those who don't know, Iwould say, how do you not know
that?
Ephesians 6 is about the armorof God?
Come on, the full armor of God,full armor.
(27:37):
But right now we're just talkingabout the breastplate of
righteousness.
So Proverbs 4:6 says above allelse, guard your heart.
In Ephesians 6:14 says, put onthe breastplate of
righteousness, uh, among thefull armor of God.
What does the breastplate do?
Oh, it protects the heart.
(27:57):
It guards the heart, right?
It guards the heart from theflaming arrows of the enemy.
Well, that, yes, absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
It, it, it does do that.
It's, and the scripture actuallysays, uh, that that's the, the
shield of, of faith that weguard the, the flaming arrows.
But the, the Eldridge, um, he's.
(28:19):
He has a, uh, on the wound, JohnEldridge, imagine me quoting him
and, and I'll just, this won'tbe a, a verbatim, but he says,
uh, we all as men, uh, we alloperate, uh.
From a wound, and that wound ismost likely, uh, given to us as
(28:41):
a boy, as we took arrows to ourhearts, and those arrows were
most often given by our father.
Mm.
Yeah.
I get chills just thinking that.
Yeah.
But it's the, uh, but it's, itis the shield of faith, uh,
faith that Christ is who he sayshe is.
And I, I'm a little in the weedshere, but It's okay.
It's all right.
(29:01):
Um.
Uh, as faith increases thatJesus Christ is the son of God.
That, that he, that his HolySpirit is living in.
In this house, yes.
And in, in me, and in you and inour daughters, and in our
family, uh, whoever, uh,declares with their mouth, uh,
(29:25):
that Christ is Lord.
They have the Holy Spirit and,uh.
That, uh, that's the truth.
Yeah.
There, that's the, uh, the, uh.
I kind, I I, I'm gonna kind ofapologize here.
I lost my train of thought, butI get caught up in, in who?
(29:47):
The faith.
Mm-hmm.
Having faith.
I, I, I, as we mature and he'sshowing Stacy and I so much
about ourselves and how we'rematuring in our walk, and it's,
it's, that in and of itself isso humbling.
As, as, as.
Our creator shows us that we're,we're, we're growing.
Yeah.
Uh, but back to the, the fullarmor of God, the breastplate
(30:09):
guards our heart.
Uh, but more importantly, aswe're.
Uh, so we gotta put on thebreastplate of righteousness,
right?
The helmet of salvation, youknow?
Mm-hmm.
The belt of truth.
The shoes of peace.
The, the shield of faith.
Shield of faith that does, uh,guard us against all the flaming
arrows of the enemy.
Yeah.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
And, uh, and take up and wieldthe sword of the spirit.
(30:31):
That is the word of God.
That and the word of God from.
Genesis to Revelation says,Jesus Christ is Lord.
Yes.
It points everything back toGod.
Yeah.
God says me first, love yourLord your God, uh, with all your
heart, mind, and strength andlove your neighbor as yourself.
Yeah.
Alright.
Um, so climbing, uh, back ontothe fairway, uh, his, so it is
(30:57):
the breast plate ofrighteousness and.
Uh, the Holy Spirit brings when,when we confess Christ as Lord,
the Holy Spirit brings hisrighteousness into us.
Yes.
And it's his righteousness and,and, and his righteous.
Jesus makes us righteous beforethe Father, right?
(31:17):
And it's his righteousness thatguards our hearts so that we can
honor him and how we addressconflicts and how we honor
relationships with each other.
Does all that make sense?
I hope I brought that togetherwell.
Oh yeah.
Absolutely.
I mean, uh, and, and, and simplyput, guarding your heart, I
(31:37):
means setting spirit ledboundaries.
Yeah.
It's not dishonoring to say thisbehavior isn't okay.
Not Stacy led boundaries, notStacy led, not Allen led, not
Allen led, but Holy Spirit ledboundaries.
Holy Spirit led boundaries.
Right.
And it is o you know, I havesaid to Allen this, this is not
okay.
(31:58):
Like what is happening rightnow?
Not right now, but at that timewhen we're having conflict,
right?
What is happening is not okay.
Right.
And it's in fact more honoringfor me to say that to you
because it protects therelationship that we have
instead of.
Me letting resentment build upinside and then, you know,
(32:20):
resentment on top of resentment.
On top of resentment.
And then, my goodness, that'sugly.
You know?
Then it's like a garbagedisposal where you, you know,
shove it all down in the garbagedisposal.
Right.
But you never let go and turn onthe switch and allow it to be
gone.
Yeah.
There's a lot of, and eventuallyit comes back up.
Yeah.
There's a lot of nasty bacteriain all that trash.
(32:40):
Well, I'm sure there is.
Yes.
It's, it's in, it's in.
Yucky.
Yucky.
Yeah, it creates a mess.
Very messy.
But it's more honoring for me tosay to you, this behavior's not
okay.
It's not acceptable.
I'm not okay with this.
And for you to say to me, now,that's not to say that.
We love it.
I don't know that I receive it.
(33:01):
Well, when you say to me, nor doI, I think my common, uh, and,
and, and don't, please don'tmistake that we're sitting over
here and, and divine perfection.
We, we have our challenges too.
And that's, we love to share ourchallenges mm-hmm.
And our victories.
'cause wherever there's achallenge, there's a victory
when you put Christ at thecenter of your relationship.
(33:21):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, uh.
And I think my normal responseto, to you at times is whatever
Stacy.
Yeah.
And, uh, you're, or you're soperfect.
Must be great being so perfect.
Anyway, anyway, I haven't saidthat in a long time.
So, not a long time.
Yeah.
Long.
It's a long time.
That was years ago.
Yeah.
Years ago.
(33:42):
But yeah.
Anyway, uh, moving on, we knowboth sides.
Yeah.
We do know both sides.
Yeah.
And, and we've let boundariesslip and Yeah.
And we paid the price with,mm-hmm.
With, uh, burnout andbitterness.
The neither are of the Lord.
Right.
But when we, when we decide forpride, we can count on, on
burnout and bitterness.
(34:03):
Mm-hmm.
Uh, when we decide forresentment, uh, unforgiveness,
we can count on burnout andbitterness.
Right.
We can count on that heavinessand that that's a burden we
weren't born to bear.
Yeah.
You know, that's actually theburden that he came to bear.
So we gotta release everyone andeverything to him.
Thank you John Eldridge for yourBen.
Uh, yeah.
Benevolent.
(34:23):
Detachment, detachment.
Um, uh, but we've also gotta sethealthy boundaries and uh, and
when we do that, we experiencedeeper respect.
Uh, even if it was hard in themoment.
'cause it's, it's gonna be hard.
Mama mama used to say anythingworth having or anything worth
doing is, is worth thechallenge.
(34:45):
It's gonna be hard.
Yeah.
So friends, uh.
It's most often the challenge,the most challenging times, uh,
that require us to do the rightthing.
Yeah.
The largest challenge, req, thelargest challenges we face re
(35:06):
require us to, to honor eachother and honor, honor the lord,
honor each other and do theright thing.
But it's, uh, it's so much morefulfilling when we do that and,
and, and.
Emphatically less condemning,uh, over the long run because we
wouldn't be sitting here todayif we'd have continued on with
(35:28):
the condemnation and, and the,this, that and the other.
If we'd, and.
If we'd have walked in theopposite direction, then, you
know, we wouldn't have done it.
Mm-hmm.
We've, we opted for the wrongthing, but, but we didn't.
Yeah.
We, uh, we chose to stay.
Yeah.
Uh, repent and move forward.
Yeah.
And, uh, confess, repent.
Yeah.
Receive, you know, all, all thatgood stuff that, that he has for
(35:51):
us.
Receive his truth and, and keepmoving forward and in, and it
pays off emphatically in thelong run.
Uh, so we can keep growing, keepgrowing, and it's not easy.
And no, he never said it waseasy.
Mm-hmm.
And I, we've said this inpodcasts before, other episodes,
that it's, um, it, it's, it'snot easy.
(36:12):
Jesus said You will havetrouble.
Right.
But take heart.
Yeah.
Have courage.
I have overcome the world.
Yeah.
So, I mean, the struggle isreal.
I mean, honor and humility areabsolutely beautiful.
But they are absolutely costly.
Yeah.
And they require us to, like Isaid earlier, they require us to
(36:33):
die to ourselves, daily, toforgive quickly, and to walk
closely with the Holy Spirit.
Uh, and I don't always die tomyself quickly.
I'm just gonna be brutallyhonest.
I'm gonna be raw and real.
Like I say, I'm going to be, um,I'm getting better at it, but
it's still a process.
Yeah.
(36:53):
And it's taking me less and lesstime most of the time, depending
on the situation.
But, you know, a few weeks ago,and I don't even remember what,
what prompted it.
I posted a Facebook, I posted onFacebook a quote that I had
heard earlier that day, and I'dprobably heard it before, but I
(37:15):
didn't really remember.
But you know, the quote says youcan't offend a dead man.
But I went on to say, becausethere had been something that
had triggered me that day and Iwent on to say that, um,
although I am called to die tomyself daily, that.
I either had not died for theday or some people just knew how
(37:37):
to raise the dead because,right.
That's the way I was feeling.
And folks, it's really hardsometimes.
Yeah, it can, it's really hard.
Sometimes it can be, and ittakes, people know, some people
know the right buttons to pushand that comes back to healthy
boundaries.
Yeah.
That comes back to healthyboundaries and you, and we gotta
(37:59):
know when to, to take a stepback.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh.
Yeah, we gotta know when to takea step back and say this, this
isn't healthy here.
Uh, you're not, you're not one,you're not hearing truth.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And, uh, and I, uh, and, andback to the benevolent
detachment, you gotta releaseit, letting them go.
You gotta, you gotta release itand, uh, you have to release it.
(38:23):
Yeah.
And, uh, and let the'causereally, we're not.
We can debate all day long andwe, maybe we will change a mind
or maybe we won't, but we'renot, we're, we're not gonna
change a heart.
Right.
The only one that's gonna changea heart is the Lord.
Yeah.
You know?
So if, if they're not, if, ifthey're not receiving that, then
(38:43):
Right.
Then we pray.
Yeah.
And we pray, wow, we're, we'representing truth, but, you know.
Mm-hmm.
We gotta, absolutely.
We gotta stick, stick with, uh,'cause he's, he's the one.
Yeah, that's kind of, well,let's get really practical.
Let's get practical for aminute.
You know, okay, I'm done withpractical and how we got some
solutions.
We don't just have, right?
The, we have, we, we don't,we're not just here for theory
(39:05):
and, or stories.
Or stories where we got some, wegot some solutions, you know?
Yeah.
Some, some stuff that's workedfor us.
But how do we storedrelationships with honor and
humility?
How do we do that?
I'm gonna, I think we have a fewsteps.
One of my, one of the biggestlessons I've learned is valuing
people over preferences.
Mm.
(39:25):
Now that sounds like an absenceof pride.
Yeah.
Uh, and pride falls away, man.
Uh, but value people overpreferences.
Don't let small annoyances stealthe bigger picture.
Uh, love all of Paul's work.
Philippians two, three remindsus to value others over
ourselves.
Mm-hmm.
And that means overlookinginconveniences for the sake of
(39:48):
building strong relationships.
Mm hmm.
That was, that was good.
Yeah.
I, I, uh.
Means overlooking inconveniencesfor the sake of building and
increasing strong relationships.
Uh, so what really matters is inthe end, is how we loved God and
(40:10):
how we love others through ourChrist following journey.
That's it.
And.
Another practical way is toforgive quickly.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
I know you love, I know you lovethe topic of forgiveness.
Yeah.
You know, but forgiveness islike releasing someone from a
debt that they can never repay.
(40:30):
Yeah.
Ephesians 4:32 says, be kind ofcompassionate to one another,
forgiving each other just as inChrist, God forgave you.
Yeah.
So forgiveness doesn't excusethe hurt.
It just frees you from carryingit because we were never meant
to carry it.
Right.
He took it to the cross.
(40:51):
So why are we still carrying it?
Right.
Carrying that it's, it's not ourburden to bear when someone
hurts us.
Yeah.
You know, and, and we've said itbefore and we just discussed,
you know, and unbound this pastweek we just talked about it was
forgiveness week day.
Yeah.
And it's your, it's your twofavorite.
Uh, the two favorites chapterschapter, the chapter's nine and
(41:13):
10 forgiveness.
Yep.
And we talked about forgivenessand, and laying that person down
and going back to, you know,seeing that person the way God
sees them.
Yeah.
Yeah's a that's a greatquestion.
We have some experiences withthat personally.
Yeah.
This, this last few weeks.
(41:34):
Yeah.
This, yeah.
Absolutely.
And that's a great question toask.
Uh.
And I was in a, in a, a group inour healing session earlier this
week.
Mm-hmm.
And, and, uh, one of our elders,he, he posed the question, uh, I
was so, I was very heavy.
Uh, and he said, Lord, ask the,he is man, ask the Lord.
(41:58):
Lord, how do you see thisperson?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
The rest is a conversation foranother time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a great question.
So if you're challenged withsomeone, you know, as the, get
quiet with the Lord, you know,we've talked about our quiet
spaces, our sacred spaces, oursecret spaces.
Mm-hmm.
Get quiet with the Lord, uh,daily.
(42:20):
And if you're challenged, youknow, take that challenge to the
Lord and ask him, Lord, how doyou see this person?
And what he shows you mightshock you.
Yeah.
So 100% right on.
So what else you got?
So this is three, yeah.
Yeah.
Three.
Uh, set spirit LED boundaries.
(42:42):
You know, we kind of joshedabout that a little earlier.
Not Stacy led boundaries, notAllen led boundaries.
Right?
Uh, it's not me or you ledboundaries, but Holy Spirit led
boundaries, uh, boundaries.
Check this out.
Boundaries are not rejection.
Their protection.
Oh, blammo.
I'm gonna give you a blemo onthat one.
(43:03):
That's right.
I got a blammo.
That's a blammo.
I'm, I'm taking that.
Blammo is better than a goldstar man.
Right on.
Boundaries are not rejection.
Their protection.
Uh, we've mentioned severaltimes protection for you and
maybe protection for them.
Could be right?
Could be.
Yeah.
Um, well, we've mentionedseveral times how Jesus modeled
(43:26):
this.
Uh, there were, uh, you, you seein the gospels time, after time
after time that he withdrew fromthe crowds and he went to be
alone with the father.
Uh, and that wasn't dishonoringthe crowds.
That wasn't saying, I don't, Idon't have time for you.
That was wisdom.
Because you know Jesus, even ashe was God, he was human and he
(43:46):
had to go release everyone andeverything to the Lord, and and,
and Father, what you'cause Hewas here.
Mm-hmm.
To do the father's work.
He was here to fulfill thefather's plan.
So you gotta get with the fatherto see what the plan is.
And he knew this, so it was verywise for him to, uh, spirit led
(44:08):
boundaries are very wise, uh,for, for us in this day and age,
just as it was for Jesus backthen.
To get away and get with afather.
We gotta get away to our quietspaces and, and get with the
spirit and say, what do you sayabout this?
Yeah.
What do you say about this?
Yeah, because most often it'snot at all what I got to say
(44:28):
about this.
You don't want to hear what Igot to say about this.
You know, our core verse and,uh, and we'll move on, uh, to
the next one after this, ourcore verse, it really Romans 8:6
to walk in.
Um, and sometimes I want to justspout out stuff into flesh, but
Romans 8 says, to, to live bythe flesh is death.
(44:51):
Death as we know it, as Christfollowers, a separation from
God.
And we, we certainly don't wantthat to live by.
The flesh is death, but to liveby the spirit is life and peace.
Now, if I got a choice betweendeath and life and peace, I'm
going with life and peace.
Amen.
That's it.
Yeah.
Alright.
So another step or anothersolution is to see every
(45:16):
relationship as a ministry.
Mm-hmm.
Your marriage if you're married.
It's not just companionship.
That marriage is actually acovenant that reflects Christ
and the church.
Yes.
And that comes from Ephesians 5.
So go read Ephesians 5 and checkthat out.
But likewise, friendships aren'tjust for fun, right?
(45:41):
Uh, friendships are to sharpenus right as iron sharpens iron.
Proverbs 27:17 and workplaces.
The paychecks may be great, butthey're really a mission field.
I can hear someone out theresaying, or maybe they're not, or
maybe they're not, but that'snot the point.
It's not, the point isn't thepaycheck.
(46:02):
Right.
It's workplaces aren't justabout the paycheck though,
right?
They are mission fields andColossians 3:23 says that
whatever you do work at it withall your heart as if you're
working for the Lord.
Yeah, and that includes how wetreat people.
And sometimes in the workplace,it's just not easy.
(46:25):
Yeah.
We need the Lord to view that asa ministry.
Yeah.
Um, but when we do, but when wedo blemo, yeah.
Yeah.
That's good.
For sure.
That's good.
Absolutely.
So, uh, so, uh, last but notleast.
Alright.
(46:46):
I, I would hope it would gowithout saying, but you know.
A practical solution.
Invite the Holy Spirit into yourdailies.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Invite the Holy Spirit into yourdailies.
Open the day, man.
You are welcome.
And my dad, I mean, he's withyou anyway.
Mm-hmm.
Might as well, might as wellopen it up to him.
(47:08):
So, and, and ask him, say, Lord,how spirit, how can I honor this
person today?
If you're challenged withsomeone mm-hmm.
How, what if you're challengedwith an answer?
Uh, if you're challenged with a,a, a, a solution, how can I
honor the team today?
How can I honor this persontoday?
(47:28):
Lord, how can I honor you today?
And how I handle conflict, orhow I handle, uh, my
companionship, how I handle myrelationships, uh, how can I
honor?
Because if we're honoring theLord, then we're honoring
everybody else, right?
Yeah.
And don't forget to take time tolisten to what he says.
(47:49):
It's more, it's more than, morethan speaking.
We gotta listen to see what hesays.
We gotta, when we ask him, wegotta wait for the answer,
right?
Mm-hmm.
So, so sometimes it'll beencouragement, uh, and sometimes
he'll say, hold your tongue.
Aw, hold your tongue.
Yeah.
And, uh, to be continued.
(48:10):
Yes.
Sometimes it's simply just beingpresent.
You know, I was sharing withguys, uh, we were talking about,
um, suicide awareness andprevention in the construction
industry, and I was saying,guys, we don't have to, we don't
have to have solutions.
You know, we don't have to haveall the answers.
Sometimes it's just beingpresent.
Sometimes, sometimes we don'thave to say a word at all.
(48:32):
We just have to be willing tolisten confidentially, you know,
if, if someone needs someone totalk to.
Um, but my point is when when weinvite the Holy Spirit in, he
shows us how to love.
Beyond our natural capacity.
And that's what I'm talkingabout.
I love, uh, another one of myfavorite pastors is, is Joby
(48:53):
Martin.
Right?
And, uh, natural capacity, he'sJoby says that he goes, God
slaps the super on the naturaland makes it supernatural.
It's, uh, that's the good stuffright there, mom.
That's the good stuff.
But, you know, when we honorGod's word.
In how we steward relationships.
We're being more than, we'rebeing more than kind.
(49:16):
Yeah.
We're actually being kingdomambassadors.
Yeah.
And who doesn't wanna be akingdom ambassador?
I wanna be an ambassador for thekingdom.
And we're showing the world thatJesus, how Jesus looks and
everyday interactions.
Yeah.
It's more about just being nice.
It's more about just being nice.
It is more about just being niceand uh, it means that.
(49:40):
Now we stand on his truth.
We stand on his firm foundation.
Mm-hmm.
We embrace Christ as thecornerstone.
So, and, and, and as he's thefoundation, we, we build from
there.
He's the firm foundation is whatthe word says.
And the cornerstone, as we buildfrom his cornerstone, we, we
build our relationships plum andlevel.
(50:02):
Right.
You know, from a firmfoundation, you know, and.
And he'll show us.
Uh, and as we stand on thatfoundation, he'll show us what
the truth is so that we honorhim always.
Mm-hmm.
We honor him in, in love.
We honor our, our friends, uh,and, and coworkers and, and
anyone that we're in relationwith, uh, we honor him as we
(50:26):
share his truth with them.
Uh, yeah.
So we home and it's all about,and when we share it, it's,
it's.
There's an absence of pridethere.
We wanna share itcompassionately.
Mm-hmm.
You know, not a Yeah.
Humbly.
Yeah.
Not a humbly share.
Not pridefully.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, honor and humility thatthere just aren't optional
(50:50):
extras, uh, for Christians.
I mean, there evidence that thespirit is at work in us.
Yeah.
And if we can't show that thespirit's at work in us, then we
need to go back and we need tocheck ourselves.
Are we.
Where are we?
It's important to checkourselves.
Mm-hmm.
It's important to hold ourselvesaccountable and it's important
to, to be willing to be heldaccountable.
(51:13):
Yeah.
Um, that's, that's really atestament to our character.
Right.
Um, so encouragement.
Mm-hmm.
So we got some encouragement.
Yeah.
Some weekly encouragement.
We always like to leave you withweekly encouragement if your
relations are feeling strainedor broken.
Don't give up.
No man.
The enemy sure wants you to giveup on that relationship.
(51:36):
He wants nothing more than foryou to give up.
Yeah.
Don't give up.
God specializes in restoringwhat seems impossible.
He is the God of impossible.
100%.
And, uh, and like I saidearlier, we're not gonna change
your heart.
Only he does that.
So, so if you're not makingheadway there, you know,
(51:58):
remember bound boundaries.
Mm-hmm.
You know, and, and prayer.
Yeah.
Uh, prayer.
And start small.
Yeah.
I mean, forgive someone you'vebeen holding a resentment
against.
Release them.
Yeah.
You know, choose to speak lifeinstead of criticism and ask the
Holy Spirit how you can honorsomeone like Allen said, honor
(52:21):
someone in your world today.
Or maybe even ask the HolySpirit, like, like you said,
holy Spirit, how do you see thisperson?
Yeah.
It's a big deal.
It's such, it's so eyeopening.
That's, that's a big question.
And after, you know, you shared,you shared that vision with me
that you had Yeah.
And I, that was like.
Wow.
For me.
Yeah.
(52:42):
Yeah.
It wrecked me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, uh, so we gotta, as we'rewinding down here, it's, it's
important to understand thatrelationships are sacred spaces.
Mm-hmm.
Our marriages, our families, ourfriendships, our coworkers.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, they're all sacred spaces.
And when we approach.
Then with honor and humility, wecreate space for God's presence
(53:05):
to dwell.
Yeah.
So friends, thank you forspending this time with us on
Faithfully Invested.
If this episode encouraged you,uh, would you just do us a
favor?
Yeah.
What favor do you want, Allen?
I think I would like I if youcould do me a favor.
Us us a favor.
I'd like you to hit subscribe sothat you never miss an episode.
(53:29):
That's right.
And leave us a five star review.
Five star review, your five starreviews, and your, and your,
your words.
Uh.
Your reviews really help us, uh,reach more faith-driven leaders
who want to build their life,their business, and their legacy
that lasts.
That's it.
(53:49):
And don't forget to share itwith someone who needs
encouragement in theirrelationships today.
Absolutely.
So until next time, keepinvesting faithfully because
when we do invest in hiskingdom, he brings the increase.
He brings the increase.
God bless you.
See you next time.
Take care and God bless.
Thanks for joining us onFaithfully Invested with Allen
(54:11):
and Stacey.
Joe, if today's conversationencouraged you, challenged you,
or helped you see your callingmore clearly, don't keep it to
yourself.
That's right.
Share it with a friend.
Leave a five star review andkeep leaning into God's
blueprint for your life, yourleadership, and your legacy.
So until next time, remember,when you invest in his kingdom,
(54:31):
he brings the increase.
Are you ready to build a life,business and legacy that truly
lasts?
Welcome to Faithfully Investedwith Allen and Stacy Jo Thorne,
where Faith meets real talk.
Biblical wisdom meets everydaylife and leadership meets
laughter.
Together we will uncover God'sblueprint for leadership,
marriage, and mission, helpingfaith-driven leaders invest in
(00:21):
what matters most.
Each episode, we explorebiblical wisdom, have real
conversations, and of course,have some fun along the way
because let's be real.
Walking in faith is anadventure.
It sure is.
So pull up a seat, grab yourcoffee or your sweet tea, and
join us as we steward ourcallings with intention, because
(00:42):
when we invest in his kingdom,he brings the increase.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to FaithfullyInvested, where Faith meets Real
Talk.
Biblical wisdom meets everydaylife, and more often than not,
leadership meets some laughter.
(01:03):
Yeah, usually laughter isheavily involved, right?
Uh, we love coming together tohonor the Lord as we uncover his
blueprint for leadership,marriage, and mission, uh, while
helping others invest in whatmatters most.
Right.
And if you are, if this is yourfirst time tuning in, we are so
glad that you're here, first andforemost.
And I'm Stacy Jo.
(01:24):
I'm a business owner.
I'm a speaker, I'm an author,and I am passionate about
helping faith-driven leaderssteward their resources with
excellence.
Yeah.
I just sitting here andlistening to that, and I know I,
I live with you, but I gotta sayI'm pretty darn proud of you,
lady.
Aw.
You've come a long way.
Well thanks babe.
I'm pretty darn proud of you aswell.
Very special, very special lady.
(01:45):
And I'm obviously not Stacy Jo.
My name is Allen and I've spent,uh, almost 25 years in, in the
corporate construction industry,and I also serve as reviving
recovery unbound author andteaching pastor.
And I've been blessed, uh, towrite about, uh, my experience
under and in the authoritativepower of Jesus Christ and the
(02:08):
Holy Spirit.
Uh, for our restoration and ourrenewal as he's led us into
freedom, like we've really neverknown.
Uh, it's, uh, wow.
Uh, but, and this is what firesme up the most is I, I love
doing this podcast'cause we getto share our experience.
But what fires me up the mostis, is helping people discover
(02:31):
their God-given identity andpurpose.
Everyone's got a purpose.
We were created on purpose, forpurpose.
And you know, the, the questionis, why am I here?
Why are we here?
Uh, and through RevivingRecovery Unbound, which is a
call, I don't want to dig toodeep into that, but the, the
(02:53):
Lord blessed, uh.
Blessed me and, and, and usreally, uh, with the content,
uh, the spirit driven content.
Mm-hmm.
A spirit breathe content ofreviving recovery unbound.
That really is a, uh, aguidebook for, uh, that points
back to the guidebook that isGod's word of, of who we are in
(03:17):
Christ, discovering our identityand our purpose.
Yeah.
Well, and in case you haven'tguessed yet, we are also husband
and wife see, and Right.
And we have been through, we'vebeen through some stuff
together.
Y'all.
A lot of stuff.
Yeah.
We've been through some, um,ringers.
(03:39):
Right.
Both the kind of.
Things, you know, the trialsthat can tear you apart.
Um, we've seen a lot of those.
Yeah.
And it almost did tear us apartand it's, wherever there's
trial, there's a victory.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And you know, we have seen thekind of victories that only God
could bring because Absolutely.
(03:59):
We were almost torn, torn, torn,torn apart.
Spread it out lady.
And that's why this podcastexists.
We're not here just to talkabout theory.
You can get theory anywhere.
We want to talk about experienceand we want to bring you real
life.
Bring, bring you along on ourreal life journey.
(04:20):
Mm-hmm.
You know, it's of how weactually do live.
Faithfully invested.
Through our God blessed life,right?
And today we are talking about acon.
We're having a conversation thattouches all of us and it's about
relationships, you know, whetherit's marriage, friendships,
coworkers, maybe it'sfriendships, or maybe it's
(04:43):
ministry, connections,relationships, and ministry.
Um, but regardless of therelationship, they are sacred
spaces.
And when we honor them.
We approach them with humility,which can sometimes be
difficult.
Right.
Right, babe.
Yeah, absolutely.
They can be some of thegreatest, the greatest
(05:06):
reflections of God's love.
Yeah.
Relationships are very importantto the Lord, you know, and I, I
found over, over time that when,when my relationship with him.
Improves.
Uh, when, when I draw near tohim and he draws near to me,
then our, our relationship, our,my primary relationship is with
him.
(05:27):
But then our, my, uh, sorrybabe.
You're number two.
And that's what I love.
That's, that's one of the mainthings I love about this lady.
She's cool with being number twoto Jesus.
Yeah.
And, and, and likewise.
But, uh, relationships arepretty, pretty, uh, actually
they're, they're pinnacle to theLord.
Uh, we were created forrelation.
Relation and, uh mm-hmm.
Yeah.
(05:47):
So when we're honoring ourrelationships, uh, in, in
humility, we're honoring theLord.
Uh, but it, there's challengesthrough that, right?
There's in every relationship,every every relationship has
challenges.
Yeah.
Doesn't matter.
You don't, you don't have to gotoo far to find a challenge.
They're honoring people's.
It's easy when we have, uh,common belief structures and,
(06:10):
and interests.
You know, it's easy, you know,honoring people that we get
along with and that we agreewith.
And, and who agree with us, butwhat happens when we don't
agree?
Mm.
Uh oh.
Yeah.
We haven't seen much of thatlately.
He said somewhat sarcastically.
Uh, what happens when ourbeliefs, uh, don't line up?
(06:31):
Yeah.
With, with someone else's.
What happens when what we knowto be experientially true.
It's challenged by others.
What do we do then?
Well, I think, you know, as werecord this, we're recording it
on the day of Charlie Kirk'smemorial service.
Yeah.
And looking at what has happenedover the course of the last 10
(06:55):
days.
Yeah.
11 days, whatever.
It's 11 days.
11 days, yeah.
Give or take.
Um, you know, seeing how peopleare not honoring.
Each other, how they are, howthe enemy is causing division,
and using as we're gonna getinto talking about pride.
(07:18):
Using pride, yeah.
As a tool, as a weapon to dividepeople.
Yeah.
And Charlie was so good.
At honoring people, even if hedidn't agree with them.
Yeah.
He would listen to them.
He gave them an opportunity tospeak and he would come back
with biblical truth.
(07:39):
Right.
But, and.
Go ahead.
And something I saw on socialmedia, which I'm really trying
just anyway, trying, uh, to moveaway from actually, but I, I,
they, they called Charlie apolitician.
And Charlie wasn't a politician.
(07:59):
He, he, in fact, he said manytimes that he wa wasn't gonna
run for office.
I thought it would've been greatif he did, but that's, he didn't
believe that's where the Lordwas calling him to.
Right.
And he wasn't a politician.
What he was, was an evangelistand, and probably one of the
greatest evangelists of ourtime, absolutely.
Of my lifetime.
He, he was bold and I, I don'tknow, there was a prominent, uh.
(08:24):
Pastor who actually, and this isa bold statement, compared
Charlie to the Apostle Paul.
Right.
Uh,'cause he was bold and hewent out and, and he was
knowledgeable.
And, and I I love that thesekids and, and, and, and the, on
the universities and the collegecampuses where he went to, to
peacefully debate them, uh, theywould, they would pick on that,
(08:46):
that would be one of theirthings.
Well, you don't even have adegree.
You're uneducated, but he wasprobably not, probably, he was
absolutely more educated than,uh, than probably most of the
professors on those campusesand, and truth.
He was educated in truth.
And when you have truth and whenyou stand on truth, you can
(09:07):
debate lies and deception allday long.
And Charlie was the best at thatmoment.
He was.
He really was.
And you know, Romans 12:10 says,uh, be devoted to one another in
love.
Honor one another aboveyourselves and notice it does
not say honor those who deserveit.
Yeah, it doesn't say honor thosewho.
(09:31):
Only make you happy.
Who only say the things that youwant them to say.
Yeah.
Who only agree with you.
No, it certainly doesn't saythat.
No.
Uh, our world culture usuallyoperates from a, a performance
based honor system.
Uh, if you meet my expectations,you're in, I'm gonna treat you
(09:52):
well.
But if you don't, if you fallshort, eh, you can go over
there.
Yeah, performance based honorsystem's.
Not, uh, that's not what theLord was talking about at all.
Um, kingdom standards flippedthat over on its ear a little
bit, and I think I'd, I'd beremiss, uh, if I, I just, if I
(10:14):
didn't elaborate on your Romans12 Yeah.
Uh, reference, uh, Roman'sprobably one of my favorite.
It's hard to pick a favorite of,of Paul's, um, epistles, but you
know.
You mentioned Romans, uh, 12:10.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, and that's where the justicestarts.
But Paul really lays it out, uh,all the way through, uh, Romans
(10:41):
12, and he gives us a lot toconsider as Christ followers.
Right.
Uh, for example, in verse nine,he encourages us to let love.
He, he's don't be.
No.
Uh, don't be hypocrites in ourlove.
Let love be without hypocrisy.
Right?
Yeah.
So that's a good one.
(11:02):
Well, you know, it's necessary.
It's, we're talking aboutrelationships, so let love be
without hypocrisy.
Uh, verse 14, that goes back tothe do what I say, not as I do.
Remember, I, I can remember asa, as a child Yeah.
Do what I say, not as I do.
Yeah.
And I always thought that was soconfusing.
But that go, I mean, that goesright along with that.
(11:22):
That goes right along with that.
That was certainly a, ahypocritical statement.
Yeah.
Right.
Hmm.
I heard that too.
Imagination Will did.
Right.
Uh, so, but, uh, uh, Romans12:14 suggests that we bless
those who persecute you.
Uh, bless and do not pay back.
(11:43):
Uh, a blessed and do not curse.
Uh, and verse uh, the, thelatter part of verse 16 and the
early part of verse, uh, 17 inRomans 12 teaches us to not be
wise in our own estimation.
Mm.
And to never pay back evil forevil to anyone.
Yeah.
(12:03):
Anyone.
Yeah.
Uh, but here's the kicker.
I'm just gonna say that's hardsometimes.
I, I think that's hard all thetime.
Yeah.
And I really think we gotta, uh,I, I love what anyone who's
listened or watched us for awhile knows that I really
appreciate John Eldridge and,uh, that.
It's, it, it is difficult.
(12:24):
Yeah.
But, uh, John teaches somethingin his new book, um, experience
Jesus Really, uh, he teaches iton, on the, uh, associated, uh,
um, app, the, the Pause app andthe, uh, experience Jesus.
Mm-hmm.
Part of that app.
Uh.
Uh, benevolent detachment.
(12:44):
Yeah.
Uh, we gotta release everyoneand everything to you Lord.
And that's a daily thing, right?
I release everyone andeverything to you.
'cause you know, life life'schallenging and it's even more
challenging as we go out andpresent truth.
You know, I, um, and it's evenmore challenging the more
relationships you come into.
Absolutely.
There's always more opportunity.
(13:06):
Right.
But back to the kicker.
Yeah.
Verse 18 is the kicker.
He says, as much as it dependson me.
Yeah.
But Paul says you, but as muchas it depends on, you live at
peace with all men, live atpeace with all people.
Now there's your challenge.
Right.
That's a challenge.
Uh, so take some time to digestthat.
(13:28):
Sit on that for a while.
Mm-hmm.
Simmer in that.
Let that simmer, uh, we know,uh, Roman and get into Romans
12.
Yeah.
Dig into Romans 12.
And, uh, yeah.
Sounds good.
It's a lot.
It's a, yeah.
Romans, uh, as, as a whole is,is brilliant.
(13:49):
Uh, Paul, as his entirecollection of EPIs is brilliant,
but, uh, it's a lot to take in.
It is a lot to take in.
And that's a whole lot.
It looks a whole lot differentfrom the age that we're living
in right now.
It does.
Especially what we've seen, youknow, like we touched on before.
Yeah.
Especially what we've seen inthe last.
(14:10):
11 days or so.
Ab Absolutely.
And the more the, the, the moreI go, we go on the journey
together.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, the Christ followingjourney, the more it makes sense
that the word, uh.
The infallible word of God isour playbook for life.
(14:30):
It is, it is our playbook forlife.
But our flesh doesn't like that.
No, it doesn't.
And other people's flesh don'tlike it either.
That's true.
But it, uh, it does, itcertainly does look a little
different in this day and age.
And, but it, but it doesn't, it,it looks this day and age looks
different, but the word doesn't.
Look different.
God's the same yesterday.
(14:51):
Today.
Yesterday.
Today and, and forever.
Today and tomorrow.
The word, the word doesn'tchange the right because truth,
objective truth doesn't change.
That's right.
This isn't my truth.
Yeah.
This is the truth.
Mm-hmm.
And his name's Jesus.
Absolutely.
Um, you know, but, but ourpride, our pride resists it.
It's not one of the sevendeadlies for nothing.
(15:11):
I mentioned, I mentioned itbefore, and, and our culture
nearly refuses it.
Yeah.
Um, but God calls us to choosehonor over ego and humility over
pride.
He does.
And that's tough because likeyou said, it, we have to die
(15:32):
just ourselves daily and youknow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what, it's what itreally, and.
It's not what I said.
That's, that's not my No, no, Iknow, but what Jesus said.
What you reiterated.
Yeah.
What you reiterated, reiteratedthe truth of the Lord's word is
what Jesus said is that ifanyone is to follow me, mm-hmm.
If we're gonna follow Christ, wegotta deny ourselves, pick up
(15:55):
our cross daily and follow him.
That's what, that's what hecalls us to do.
Well, yes, and the doggos seemto want to be on the set today.
So Hello.
There are mask guards and Leia.
Best pugs ever.
Yes.
We're, we're so, so glad to haveyou with us.
But back to, to pride.
Uh, yeah.
(16:16):
Being's a little prideful whenshe, she wants what she wants
when she wants it.
Right.
And, uh, and I guess we'veplayed into that a bit, but
pride is a huge blockade.
Yeah.
Uh, I write about it and, um.
And, uh, reviving recoveryunbound.
We're not gonna dig deep intothat, right?
Uh, but it's a, it's a massiveblockade in this day and age.
(16:38):
Uh, but I gotta say.
Much like everything else, Godcalled it.
Uh,'cause pride doesn't get muchof a shout out through, through
God's infallible word.
Uh, it gets a pretty negativeconnotation, uh, from the old
and through all the NewTestament.
Uh, a quick example of thatwould be, uh, Solomon's wisdom
(16:59):
in Proverbs 16.
Mm-hmm.
That recognizes that pride comesbefore destruction.
Hello?
What?
Yeah.
You want destruction?
Hold on to some pride.
Hold onto that pride.
Pride comes before destruction.
And then, and then James, uh, inthe New Testament, the tail end
of the New Testament reminds usthat God opposes the proud, but
(17:21):
he shows favor to the humble.
Yeah.
So when we fail to steward ourrelationships with honor and hu
humility, and, and let me, letme just say this.
When, when we fail to honor, uh,our relationships with, uh, fail
to steward our relationshipswith honor and humility, if
(17:45):
we're not honoring ourrelationships, then we're not
honoring our primaryrelationship, which is with the
Lord.
True.
And if we're not, if we refuseto.
To pursue honor and pursuehumility, the fallout can be
massive.
And we see in, we see division,we see division in marriages, we
see division in brokenfriendships and, and, and family
(18:08):
relations, toxic workplaces, andeven in the church.
You know, don't, don't gothinking that the church is a
perfect place for perfectpeople, or you'll be seriously
disappointed.
Uh, I, and I am kind of, kind ofjoking here, but kinda, uh, not
I blame Burger King.
I.
(18:29):
In 1974, they had a, a slogancalled Have It Your Way.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
I looked it up as 1974.
But a, a better, a better sloganwould be have it Yahweh, right?
Yahweh Notwe Your Way.
Yeah.
Have it Yahweh.
But, uh, anyway, moving on.
Oh my babe, you come up withsome good ones sometimes.
(18:52):
Yeah, I know.
Your, your, your recollectionof, of pop culture, like that
kind of, you know, blows me awaysometimes because I didn't even
remember that one.
I watched a lot of TV when I wasa kid.
This, so did I.
Yes.
But, you know, let's, let'sestablish that.
(19:16):
None of us, including myself, dothis perfectly.
You know, none of us are perfectat living out Romans 12:10 in
our everyday lives.
Not even you.
No.
Especially not me.
And I never, I would never evensay that.
I, I'm, I'm like.
(19:36):
Even scratching the surface ofperfection with that.
Right.
Trust us.
There's no perfection here,folks.
No, absolutely not.
Right.
But I think back, uh, this workrelationships, yeah.
I think back in this, uh, uh, toa relationship, uh, it was
several years ago, uh, I had acoworker who irritated the heck
(20:00):
out of me.
Mm-hmm.
I think I might know which oneyou're talking about.
Well, you know, there's no needto present names here.
No.
Uh, his safety wouldn't, Iwouldn't, uh, I'm, I'm a safety
professional, uh, in corporateconstruction, concrete
restoration and strengthening.
Uh, and this dude's safety waslevel one at best.
Mm-hmm.
And there's, there's four levelin the structural safety
(20:21):
culture, but he was level one atbest.
And, uh, oddly enough, his guysnever got hurt.
But, uh, I, I'm gonna call thatluck.
Um, but, uh, and it and his, andhis sarcasm concerning, uh, it
wasn't pleasant.
It was about as pleasant asnails on a chalkboard.
And he was, he was a master atdodging accountability.
(20:43):
Uh, he loved to play the blamegame, and, and he was, he was
very challenging.
Yeah.
To say the absolute least.
Yeah, I remember, uh.
Do you remember me coming home?
I do, uh, a little frustrated attimes.
I, I, yeah, I definitelyremember you coming home
frustrated at times.
I was gonna, I, I was trying tothink of which one you, uh,
(21:04):
exactly which one you're talkingabout.
I think, I know, right?
It doesn't matter, but it'sjust, there's been more than
one, I guess is my point there.
There have been a few, but youknow, they're, uh, but there,
there's a point here.
Yeah.
Um.
I complained so much about that,and this, this is not, not to my
credit, but you know, again, noperfection here.
(21:27):
I complained so much about that.
I got tired of hearing me whineabout it.
But, uh, but the Holy Spiritwouldn't let me off the hook.
He kept pressing me.
He said, Allen, look deeper.
Yeah, listen to me and lookdeeper.
See the person, not thechallenge.
Ooh.
(21:48):
Yeah.
So later I learned that younever know what somebody else is
going through and that, youknow, and I remember, uh, the
proprietor of a paint shop thatI worked in and the, uh.
In the late eighties, earlynineties in northeastern Ohio.
And we, I used to butt headswith the shop foreman and he
pulled us both aside.
He is like, you guys are actinglike boys.
(22:09):
Cut it out.
You don't know what each other'sgoing through.
Mm.
You guys, you don't know whosomeone's going through.
Yeah.
So, um, she wants to saysomething, uh, clearly.
Um, but back, back to thecurrent, uh, scenario.
Uh.
The, you don't know what the,what the challenge was.
(22:30):
And later I learned that thisguy who was such a challenge,
uh, that he was walking througha painful divorce.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And it was, uh, an atypical, uh,construction, tough guy persona.
He masked everything inrebellious sarcasm.
Uh, and suddenly when, when I,when I realized that, uh, his
(22:53):
behavior made sense.
It wasn't acceptable, but itmade sense and I realized that I
was missing an opportunity forministry.
I was missing a ministryopportunity.
And, and, and I've had severalministry opportunities and yeah,
in, in the, uh, constructionfield.
Uh, but I was lettingfrustration, uh, outweigh
(23:14):
compassion.
And I was, uh, that's a toughplace to be in.
It is.
So we, we did talk about Jesusand uh, unfortunately he wasn't
too receptive, but I can saythat the seed was planted and
that's all you can do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes that's all you can do.
You gotta plant the seed andlike let the Lord water it.
(23:35):
That said, that's what the wordsays and yeah babe, that's
powerful And yeah.
You know, I've, I've had my ownlessons in this and I, I, would
I go back to our marriage, like,I would say, especially in
marriage, because early on andeven not so early on, you know,
I, I wanted to win argumentswhen we would argue I wanted to
(23:56):
be the one who won.
Uh, sorry, I wanted to prove mypoint.
Yeah.
Okay.
And, you know, pride, pridewould say.
If you back down, you lose.
Yeah.
If you back down, you lose.
Yeah.
Pride's a liar.
And so I would puff back up andI'd come back at you and, you
(24:18):
know, with words, it was alwayswords.
It was never physical, but,right.
Yeah.
Or we, but our, our, our, our,you know, our arguments that we
have had.
Yeah.
Um, but humility, you know,humility taught me the opposite.
Humility taught me that when I,when I softened my tone.
Yeah.
(24:39):
When I listened instead ofspeaking or reacting.
Yeah.
When I would respond instead ofreact right then, or when I
would choose connection overcompetition.
I love that.
Yeah.
Connection over competition.
Yeah.
I've always been kind of acompetitive person from since
(25:01):
early on.
Right.
And uh.
It was kind of inherent in mynature, right?
But, um, sometimes I would justhave to walk away and pray over
the situation.
And when that would happen, whenI would walk away, when I would
humble myself to walk away andget into prayer about it, then
(25:21):
we would both win.
That's it, that's what the Lordsays.
That's what the Lord says is,uh, humble yourself before the
Lord and he'll lift you up.
Right.
You know, he, he'll show you theway.
And I, and I like that.
What that really says to me isthat he'll lift you up, is he'll
lift you up past, uh, the, thechallenge that you're in and,
and be able to see the biggerpicture, right.
I'm not sure if that what Jamesmeant, and I'm not really sure.
(25:44):
That's just what in this momentand what it really means to me.
He'll lift you up to see pastthe challenges.
Yeah.
He'll lift you up maybe to showyou his perspective.
Well humble yourself before himand he'll lift you up.
And when he lifts us up to thatpoint, that was the point where
we could come together and wecould pray together.
Yeah.
Over the situation.
Yeah.
Not just me praying by myself oryou praying by yourself, but
(26:06):
when he lifted us up.
To that point where we could seethe bigger picture.
Right.
Then we could come together and,and pray together.
Right.
And then the enemy really got akick in the face.
Yeah.
Winner, winner family dinner.
Right.
Right.
Here's right, here's anotherstruggle.
Um, people views honor withpassivity.
(26:28):
Mm mm-hmm.
Newsflash folks.
Jesus was not.
Passive.
Alright.
And we're not called, we'recalled to love and, and present
the truth and love, but we'renot called to be passive.
We're not called to tolerate,uh, nonsense.
Right?
Uh, so, uh, I think that's whyhe flipped tables in the, in the
(26:52):
temple, right?
I, I think he was, yeah, therewere, there were boundaries.
And, we'll, and we'll get intothat here in just a minute, but,
um.
People think that, uh, if, ifwe're gonna honor someone, then
we have to be the yes guy.
We gotta say yes to everything.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, we gotta tolerate unhealthybehavior, not the case.
Uh, Proverbs 4 23 says, aboveall else, guard your heart for
(27:17):
everything flows from it.
Yeah.
Uh, likewise, over time we'vebeen able to connect Ephesians
6:14.
with Proverbs 4, that tells usto put on the breastplate of
righteousness.
Mm-hmm.
For those who don't know, Iwould say, how do you not know
that?
Ephesians 6 is about the armorof God?
Come on, the full armor of God,full armor.
(27:37):
But right now we're just talkingabout the breastplate of
righteousness.
So Proverbs 4:6 says above allelse, guard your heart.
In Ephesians 6:14 says, put onthe breastplate of
righteousness, uh, among thefull armor of God.
What does the breastplate do?
Oh, it protects the heart.
(27:57):
It guards the heart, right?
It guards the heart from theflaming arrows of the enemy.
Well, that, yes, absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
It, it, it does do that.
It's, and the scripture actuallysays, uh, that that's the, the
shield of, of faith that weguard the, the flaming arrows.
But the, the Eldridge, um, he's.
(28:19):
He has a, uh, on the wound, JohnEldridge, imagine me quoting him
and, and I'll just, this won'tbe a, a verbatim, but he says,
uh, we all as men, uh, we alloperate, uh.
From a wound, and that wound ismost likely, uh, given to us as
(28:41):
a boy, as we took arrows to ourhearts, and those arrows were
most often given by our father.
Mm.
Yeah.
I get chills just thinking that.
Yeah.
But it's the, uh, but it's, itis the shield of faith, uh,
faith that Christ is who he sayshe is.
And I, I'm a little in the weedshere, but It's okay.
It's all right.
(29:01):
Um.
Uh, as faith increases thatJesus Christ is the son of God.
That, that he, that his HolySpirit is living in.
In this house, yes.
And in, in me, and in you and inour daughters, and in our
family, uh, whoever, uh,declares with their mouth, uh,
(29:25):
that Christ is Lord.
They have the Holy Spirit and,uh.
That, uh, that's the truth.
Yeah.
There, that's the, uh, the, uh.
I kind, I I, I'm gonna kind ofapologize here.
I lost my train of thought, butI get caught up in, in who?
(29:47):
The faith.
Mm-hmm.
Having faith.
I, I, I, as we mature and he'sshowing Stacy and I so much
about ourselves and how we'rematuring in our walk, and it's,
it's, that in and of itself isso humbling.
As, as, as.
Our creator shows us that we're,we're, we're growing.
Yeah.
Uh, but back to the, the fullarmor of God, the breastplate
(30:09):
guards our heart.
Uh, but more importantly, aswe're.
Uh, so we gotta put on thebreastplate of righteousness,
right?
The helmet of salvation, youknow?
Mm-hmm.
The belt of truth.
The shoes of peace.
The, the shield of faith.
Shield of faith that does, uh,guard us against all the flaming
arrows of the enemy.
Yeah.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
And, uh, and take up and wieldthe sword of the spirit.
(30:31):
That is the word of God.
That and the word of God from.
Genesis to Revelation says,Jesus Christ is Lord.
Yes.
It points everything back toGod.
Yeah.
God says me first, love yourLord your God, uh, with all your
heart, mind, and strength andlove your neighbor as yourself.
Yeah.
Alright.
Um, so climbing, uh, back ontothe fairway, uh, his, so it is
(30:57):
the breast plate ofrighteousness and.
Uh, the Holy Spirit brings when,when we confess Christ as Lord,
the Holy Spirit brings hisrighteousness into us.
Yes.
And it's his righteousness and,and, and his righteous.
Jesus makes us righteous beforethe Father, right?
(31:17):
And it's his righteousness thatguards our hearts so that we can
honor him and how we addressconflicts and how we honor
relationships with each other.
Does all that make sense?
I hope I brought that togetherwell.
Oh yeah.
Absolutely.
I mean, uh, and, and, and simplyput, guarding your heart, I
(31:37):
means setting spirit ledboundaries.
Yeah.
It's not dishonoring to say thisbehavior isn't okay.
Not Stacy led boundaries, notStacy led, not Allen led, not
Allen led, but Holy Spirit ledboundaries.
Holy Spirit led boundaries.
Right.
And it is o you know, I havesaid to Allen this, this is not
okay.
(31:58):
Like what is happening rightnow?
Not right now, but at that timewhen we're having conflict,
right?
What is happening is not okay.
Right.
And it's in fact more honoringfor me to say that to you
because it protects therelationship that we have
instead of.
Me letting resentment build upinside and then, you know,
(32:20):
resentment on top of resentment.
On top of resentment.
And then, my goodness, that'sugly.
You know?
Then it's like a garbagedisposal where you, you know,
shove it all down in the garbagedisposal.
Right.
But you never let go and turn onthe switch and allow it to be
gone.
Yeah.
There's a lot of, and eventuallyit comes back up.
Yeah.
There's a lot of nasty bacteriain all that trash.
(32:40):
Well, I'm sure there is.
Yes.
It's, it's in, it's in.
Yucky.
Yucky.
Yeah, it creates a mess.
Very messy.
But it's more honoring for me tosay to you, this behavior's not
okay.
It's not acceptable.
I'm not okay with this.
And for you to say to me, now,that's not to say that.
We love it.
I don't know that I receive it.
(33:01):
Well, when you say to me, nor doI, I think my common, uh, and,
and, and don't, please don'tmistake that we're sitting over
here and, and divine perfection.
We, we have our challenges too.
And that's, we love to share ourchallenges mm-hmm.
And our victories.
'cause wherever there's achallenge, there's a victory
when you put Christ at thecenter of your relationship.
(33:21):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, uh.
And I think my normal responseto, to you at times is whatever
Stacy.
Yeah.
And, uh, you're, or you're soperfect.
Must be great being so perfect.
Anyway, anyway, I haven't saidthat in a long time.
So, not a long time.
Yeah.
Long.
It's a long time.
That was years ago.
Yeah.
Years ago.
(33:42):
But yeah.
Anyway, uh, moving on, we knowboth sides.
Yeah.
We do know both sides.
Yeah.
And, and we've let boundariesslip and Yeah.
And we paid the price with,mm-hmm.
With, uh, burnout andbitterness.
The neither are of the Lord.
Right.
But when we, when we decide forpride, we can count on, on
burnout and bitterness.
(34:03):
Mm-hmm.
Uh, when we decide forresentment, uh, unforgiveness,
we can count on burnout andbitterness.
Right.
We can count on that heavinessand that that's a burden we
weren't born to bear.
Yeah.
You know, that's actually theburden that he came to bear.
So we gotta release everyone andeverything to him.
Thank you John Eldridge for yourBen.
Uh, yeah.
Benevolent.
(34:23):
Detachment, detachment.
Um, uh, but we've also gotta sethealthy boundaries and uh, and
when we do that, we experiencedeeper respect.
Uh, even if it was hard in themoment.
'cause it's, it's gonna be hard.
Mama mama used to say anythingworth having or anything worth
doing is, is worth thechallenge.
(34:45):
It's gonna be hard.
Yeah.
So friends, uh.
It's most often the challenge,the most challenging times, uh,
that require us to do the rightthing.
Yeah.
The largest challenge, req, thelargest challenges we face re
(35:06):
require us to, to honor eachother and honor, honor the lord,
honor each other and do theright thing.
But it's, uh, it's so much morefulfilling when we do that and,
and, and.
Emphatically less condemning,uh, over the long run because we
wouldn't be sitting here todayif we'd have continued on with
(35:28):
the condemnation and, and the,this, that and the other.
If we'd, and.
If we'd have walked in theopposite direction, then, you
know, we wouldn't have done it.
Mm-hmm.
We've, we opted for the wrongthing, but, but we didn't.
Yeah.
We, uh, we chose to stay.
Yeah.
Uh, repent and move forward.
Yeah.
And, uh, confess, repent.
Yeah.
Receive, you know, all, all thatgood stuff that, that he has for
(35:51):
us.
Receive his truth and, and keepmoving forward and in, and it
pays off emphatically in thelong run.
Uh, so we can keep growing, keepgrowing, and it's not easy.
And no, he never said it waseasy.
Mm-hmm.
And I, we've said this inpodcasts before, other episodes,
that it's, um, it, it's, it'snot easy.
(36:12):
Jesus said You will havetrouble.
Right.
But take heart.
Yeah.
Have courage.
I have overcome the world.
Yeah.
So, I mean, the struggle isreal.
I mean, honor and humility areabsolutely beautiful.
But they are absolutely costly.
Yeah.
And they require us to, like Isaid earlier, they require us to
(36:33):
die to ourselves, daily, toforgive quickly, and to walk
closely with the Holy Spirit.
Uh, and I don't always die tomyself quickly.
I'm just gonna be brutallyhonest.
I'm gonna be raw and real.
Like I say, I'm going to be, um,I'm getting better at it, but
it's still a process.
Yeah.
(36:53):
And it's taking me less and lesstime most of the time, depending
on the situation.
But, you know, a few weeks ago,and I don't even remember what,
what prompted it.
I posted a Facebook, I posted onFacebook a quote that I had
heard earlier that day, and I'dprobably heard it before, but I
(37:15):
didn't really remember.
But you know, the quote says youcan't offend a dead man.
But I went on to say, becausethere had been something that
had triggered me that day and Iwent on to say that, um,
although I am called to die tomyself daily, that.
I either had not died for theday or some people just knew how
(37:37):
to raise the dead because,right.
That's the way I was feeling.
And folks, it's really hardsometimes.
Yeah, it can, it's really hard.
Sometimes it can be, and ittakes, people know, some people
know the right buttons to pushand that comes back to healthy
boundaries.
Yeah.
That comes back to healthyboundaries and you, and we gotta
(37:59):
know when to, to take a stepback.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh.
Yeah, we gotta know when to takea step back and say this, this
isn't healthy here.
Uh, you're not, you're not one,you're not hearing truth.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And, uh, and I, uh, and, andback to the benevolent
detachment, you gotta releaseit, letting them go.
You gotta, you gotta release itand, uh, you have to release it.
(38:23):
Yeah.
And, uh, and let the'causereally, we're not.
We can debate all day long andwe, maybe we will change a mind
or maybe we won't, but we'renot, we're, we're not gonna
change a heart.
Right.
The only one that's gonna changea heart is the Lord.
Yeah.
You know?
So if, if they're not, if, ifthey're not receiving that, then
(38:43):
Right.
Then we pray.
Yeah.
And we pray, wow, we're, we'representing truth, but, you know.
Mm-hmm.
We gotta, absolutely.
We gotta stick, stick with, uh,'cause he's, he's the one.
Yeah, that's kind of, well,let's get really practical.
Let's get practical for aminute.
You know, okay, I'm done withpractical and how we got some
solutions.
We don't just have, right?
The, we have, we, we don't,we're not just here for theory
(39:05):
and, or stories.
Or stories where we got some, wegot some solutions, you know?
Yeah.
Some, some stuff that's workedfor us.
But how do we storedrelationships with honor and
humility?
How do we do that?
I'm gonna, I think we have a fewsteps.
One of my, one of the biggestlessons I've learned is valuing
people over preferences.
Mm.
(39:25):
Now that sounds like an absenceof pride.
Yeah.
Uh, and pride falls away, man.
Uh, but value people overpreferences.
Don't let small annoyances stealthe bigger picture.
Uh, love all of Paul's work.
Philippians two, three remindsus to value others over
ourselves.
Mm-hmm.
And that means overlookinginconveniences for the sake of
(39:48):
building strong relationships.
Mm hmm.
That was, that was good.
Yeah.
I, I, uh.
Means overlooking inconveniencesfor the sake of building and
increasing strong relationships.
Uh, so what really matters is inthe end, is how we loved God and
(40:10):
how we love others through ourChrist following journey.
That's it.
And.
Another practical way is toforgive quickly.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
I know you love, I know you lovethe topic of forgiveness.
Yeah.
You know, but forgiveness islike releasing someone from a
debt that they can never repay.
(40:30):
Yeah.
Ephesians 4:32 says, be kind ofcompassionate to one another,
forgiving each other just as inChrist, God forgave you.
Yeah.
So forgiveness doesn't excusethe hurt.
It just frees you from carryingit because we were never meant
to carry it.
Right.
He took it to the cross.
(40:51):
So why are we still carrying it?
Right.
Carrying that it's, it's not ourburden to bear when someone
hurts us.
Yeah.
You know, and, and we've said itbefore and we just discussed,
you know, and unbound this pastweek we just talked about it was
forgiveness week day.
Yeah.
And it's your, it's your twofavorite.
Uh, the two favorites chapterschapter, the chapter's nine and
(41:13):
10 forgiveness.
Yep.
And we talked about forgivenessand, and laying that person down
and going back to, you know,seeing that person the way God
sees them.
Yeah.
Yeah's a that's a greatquestion.
We have some experiences withthat personally.
Yeah.
This, this last few weeks.
(41:34):
Yeah.
This, yeah.
Absolutely.
And that's a great question toask.
Uh.
And I was in a, in a, a group inour healing session earlier this
week.
Mm-hmm.
And, and, uh, one of our elders,he, he posed the question, uh, I
was so, I was very heavy.
Uh, and he said, Lord, ask the,he is man, ask the Lord.
(41:58):
Lord, how do you see thisperson?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
The rest is a conversation foranother time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a great question.
So if you're challenged withsomeone, you know, as the, get
quiet with the Lord, you know,we've talked about our quiet
spaces, our sacred spaces, oursecret spaces.
Mm-hmm.
Get quiet with the Lord, uh,daily.
(42:20):
And if you're challenged, youknow, take that challenge to the
Lord and ask him, Lord, how doyou see this person?
And what he shows you mightshock you.
Yeah.
So 100% right on.
So what else you got?
So this is three, yeah.
Yeah.
Three.
Uh, set spirit LED boundaries.
(42:42):
You know, we kind of joshedabout that a little earlier.
Not Stacy led boundaries, notAllen led boundaries.
Right?
Uh, it's not me or you ledboundaries, but Holy Spirit led
boundaries, uh, boundaries.
Check this out.
Boundaries are not rejection.
Their protection.
Oh, blammo.
I'm gonna give you a blemo onthat one.
(43:03):
That's right.
I got a blammo.
That's a blammo.
I'm, I'm taking that.
Blammo is better than a goldstar man.
Right on.
Boundaries are not rejection.
Their protection.
Uh, we've mentioned severaltimes protection for you and
maybe protection for them.
Could be right?
Could be.
Yeah.
Um, well, we've mentionedseveral times how Jesus modeled
(43:26):
this.
Uh, there were, uh, you, you seein the gospels time, after time
after time that he withdrew fromthe crowds and he went to be
alone with the father.
Uh, and that wasn't dishonoringthe crowds.
That wasn't saying, I don't, Idon't have time for you.
That was wisdom.
Because you know Jesus, even ashe was God, he was human and he
(43:46):
had to go release everyone andeverything to the Lord, and and,
and Father, what you'cause Hewas here.
Mm-hmm.
To do the father's work.
He was here to fulfill thefather's plan.
So you gotta get with the fatherto see what the plan is.
And he knew this, so it was verywise for him to, uh, spirit led
(44:08):
boundaries are very wise, uh,for, for us in this day and age,
just as it was for Jesus backthen.
To get away and get with afather.
We gotta get away to our quietspaces and, and get with the
spirit and say, what do you sayabout this?
Yeah.
What do you say about this?
Yeah, because most often it'snot at all what I got to say
(44:28):
about this.
You don't want to hear what Igot to say about this.
You know, our core verse and,uh, and we'll move on, uh, to
the next one after this, ourcore verse, it really Romans 8:6
to walk in.
Um, and sometimes I want to justspout out stuff into flesh, but
Romans 8 says, to, to live bythe flesh is death.
(44:51):
Death as we know it, as Christfollowers, a separation from
God.
And we, we certainly don't wantthat to live by.
The flesh is death, but to liveby the spirit is life and peace.
Now, if I got a choice betweendeath and life and peace, I'm
going with life and peace.
Amen.
That's it.
Yeah.
Alright.
So another step or anothersolution is to see every
(45:16):
relationship as a ministry.
Mm-hmm.
Your marriage if you're married.
It's not just companionship.
That marriage is actually acovenant that reflects Christ
and the church.
Yes.
And that comes from Ephesians 5.
So go read Ephesians 5 and checkthat out.
But likewise, friendships aren'tjust for fun, right?
(45:41):
Uh, friendships are to sharpenus right as iron sharpens iron.
Proverbs 27:17 and workplaces.
The paychecks may be great, butthey're really a mission field.
I can hear someone out theresaying, or maybe they're not, or
maybe they're not, but that'snot the point.
It's not, the point isn't thepaycheck.
(46:02):
Right.
It's workplaces aren't justabout the paycheck though,
right?
They are mission fields andColossians 3:23 says that
whatever you do work at it withall your heart as if you're
working for the Lord.
Yeah, and that includes how wetreat people.
And sometimes in the workplace,it's just not easy.
(46:25):
Yeah.
We need the Lord to view that asa ministry.
Yeah.
Um, but when we do, but when wedo blemo, yeah.
Yeah.
That's good.
For sure.
That's good.
Absolutely.
So, uh, so, uh, last but notleast.
Alright.
(46:46):
I, I would hope it would gowithout saying, but you know.
A practical solution.
Invite the Holy Spirit into yourdailies.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Invite the Holy Spirit into yourdailies.
Open the day, man.
You are welcome.
And my dad, I mean, he's withyou anyway.
Mm-hmm.
Might as well, might as wellopen it up to him.
(47:08):
So, and, and ask him, say, Lord,how spirit, how can I honor this
person today?
If you're challenged withsomeone mm-hmm.
How, what if you're challengedwith an answer?
Uh, if you're challenged with a,a, a, a solution, how can I
honor the team today?
How can I honor this persontoday?
(47:28):
Lord, how can I honor you today?
And how I handle conflict, orhow I handle, uh, my
companionship, how I handle myrelationships, uh, how can I
honor?
Because if we're honoring theLord, then we're honoring
everybody else, right?
Yeah.
And don't forget to take time tolisten to what he says.
(47:49):
It's more, it's more than, morethan speaking.
We gotta listen to see what hesays.
We gotta, when we ask him, wegotta wait for the answer,
right?
Mm-hmm.
So, so sometimes it'll beencouragement, uh, and sometimes
he'll say, hold your tongue.
Aw, hold your tongue.
Yeah.
And, uh, to be continued.
(48:10):
Yes.
Sometimes it's simply just beingpresent.
You know, I was sharing withguys, uh, we were talking about,
um, suicide awareness andprevention in the construction
industry, and I was saying,guys, we don't have to, we don't
have to have solutions.
You know, we don't have to haveall the answers.
Sometimes it's just beingpresent.
Sometimes, sometimes we don'thave to say a word at all.
(48:32):
We just have to be willing tolisten confidentially, you know,
if, if someone needs someone totalk to.
Um, but my point is when when weinvite the Holy Spirit in, he
shows us how to love.
Beyond our natural capacity.
And that's what I'm talkingabout.
I love, uh, another one of myfavorite pastors is, is Joby
(48:53):
Martin.
Right?
And, uh, natural capacity, he'sJoby says that he goes, God
slaps the super on the naturaland makes it supernatural.
It's, uh, that's the good stuffright there, mom.
That's the good stuff.
But, you know, when we honorGod's word.
In how we steward relationships.
We're being more than, we'rebeing more than kind.
(49:16):
Yeah.
We're actually being kingdomambassadors.
Yeah.
And who doesn't wanna be akingdom ambassador?
I wanna be an ambassador for thekingdom.
And we're showing the world thatJesus, how Jesus looks and
everyday interactions.
Yeah.
It's more about just being nice.
It's more about just being nice.
It is more about just being niceand uh, it means that.
(49:40):
Now we stand on his truth.
We stand on his firm foundation.
Mm-hmm.
We embrace Christ as thecornerstone.
So, and, and, and as he's thefoundation, we, we build from
there.
He's the firm foundation is whatthe word says.
And the cornerstone, as we buildfrom his cornerstone, we, we
build our relationships plum andlevel.
(50:02):
Right.
You know, from a firmfoundation, you know, and.
And he'll show us.
Uh, and as we stand on thatfoundation, he'll show us what
the truth is so that we honorhim always.
Mm-hmm.
We honor him in, in love.
We honor our, our friends, uh,and, and coworkers and, and
anyone that we're in relationwith, uh, we honor him as we
(50:26):
share his truth with them.
Uh, yeah.
So we home and it's all about,and when we share it, it's,
it's.
There's an absence of pridethere.
We wanna share itcompassionately.
Mm-hmm.
You know, not a Yeah.
Humbly.
Yeah.
Not a humbly share.
Not pridefully.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, honor and humility thatthere just aren't optional
(50:50):
extras, uh, for Christians.
I mean, there evidence that thespirit is at work in us.
Yeah.
And if we can't show that thespirit's at work in us, then we
need to go back and we need tocheck ourselves.
Are we.
Where are we?
It's important to checkourselves.
Mm-hmm.
It's important to hold ourselvesaccountable and it's important
to, to be willing to be heldaccountable.
(51:13):
Yeah.
Um, that's, that's really atestament to our character.
Right.
Um, so encouragement.
Mm-hmm.
So we got some encouragement.
Yeah.
Some weekly encouragement.
We always like to leave you withweekly encouragement if your
relations are feeling strainedor broken.
Don't give up.
No man.
The enemy sure wants you to giveup on that relationship.
(51:36):
He wants nothing more than foryou to give up.
Yeah.
Don't give up.
God specializes in restoringwhat seems impossible.
He is the God of impossible.
100%.
And, uh, and like I saidearlier, we're not gonna change
your heart.
Only he does that.
So, so if you're not makingheadway there, you know,
(51:58):
remember bound boundaries.
Mm-hmm.
You know, and, and prayer.
Yeah.
Uh, prayer.
And start small.
Yeah.
I mean, forgive someone you'vebeen holding a resentment
against.
Release them.
Yeah.
You know, choose to speak lifeinstead of criticism and ask the
Holy Spirit how you can honorsomeone like Allen said, honor
(52:21):
someone in your world today.
Or maybe even ask the HolySpirit, like, like you said,
holy Spirit, how do you see thisperson?
Yeah.
It's a big deal.
It's such, it's so eyeopening.
That's, that's a big question.
And after, you know, you shared,you shared that vision with me
that you had Yeah.
And I, that was like.
Wow.
For me.
Yeah.
(52:42):
Yeah.
It wrecked me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, uh, so we gotta, as we'rewinding down here, it's, it's
important to understand thatrelationships are sacred spaces.
Mm-hmm.
Our marriages, our families, ourfriendships, our coworkers.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, they're all sacred spaces.
And when we approach.
Then with honor and humility, wecreate space for God's presence
(53:05):
to dwell.
Yeah.
So friends, thank you forspending this time with us on
Faithfully Invested.
If this episode encouraged you,uh, would you just do us a
favor?
Yeah.
What favor do you want, Allen?
I think I would like I if youcould do me a favor.
Us us a favor.
I'd like you to hit subscribe sothat you never miss an episode.
(53:29):
That's right.
And leave us a five star review.
Five star review, your five starreviews, and your, and your,
your words.
Uh.
Your reviews really help us, uh,reach more faith-driven leaders
who want to build their life,their business, and their legacy
that lasts.
That's it.
(53:49):
And don't forget to share itwith someone who needs
encouragement in theirrelationships today.
Absolutely.
So until next time, keepinvesting faithfully because
when we do invest in hiskingdom, he brings the increase.
He brings the increase.
God bless you.
See you next time.
Take care and God bless.
Thanks for joining us onFaithfully Invested with Allen
(54:11):
and Stacey.
Joe, if today's conversationencouraged you, challenged you,
or helped you see your callingmore clearly, don't keep it to
yourself.
That's right.
Share it with a friend.
Leave a five star review andkeep leaning into God's
blueprint for your life, yourleadership, and your legacy.
So until next time, remember,when you invest in his kingdom,
(54:31):
he brings the increase.
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