Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
TD Flenaugh (00:00):
TD,
learning disabilities are often
(00:03):
invisible disabilities thataffect the way someone learns
and the way their brain works,something that a lot of kids
struggle with, even adultsstruggle with, is how to
navigate the challenges that alearning disability gives them.
Our next guest today on thefalling for learning podcast
(00:25):
tells us how she navigated thesechallenges and how she achieved
goals that people in her lifetold her that she wasn't able to
achieve. Stick around for thisshow so you can find out how to
give your child the competitiveadvantage no matter what
disability they may be facing.
(01:12):
Hello. Michelle Steiner, thankyou so much for joining us
today. How are you doing?
Michelle Steiner (01:18):
I am doing
wonderful. How are you
TD Flenaugh (01:20):
doing great. It is
summertime, and I have been on a
little vacation. My very closecousin, my sister, cousin, is
celebrating her 50th birthday.
And so we had a cruise. We hadlike, all kinds of celebrations
for her. And so I am reallyfeeling relaxed and and great
(01:41):
now that we I'm in the summermonths. How about you? How has
your summer been? So far,it's been going well. It's nice
having that little break fromschool. We've been celebrating
birthdays and our anniversaryand just different things and
being on a podcast and justenjoying the summer.
Excellent. So a question that weask all of our guests that come
(02:06):
on the falling for learningpodcast is what made you fall in
love with learning as a child.
Michelle Steiner (02:11):
What made me
fall in love with learning as a
child was my dad found a storythat I wrote about a dinosaur
whenever I was young and I wasI, he said, This is really good.
And he would read me storiesevery night when I was little,
and I just started to lovereading, and I started to love
writing, and that was soimportant to me, because up
(02:32):
until that point, I was reallyfrustrated in school, and I
didn't think I was good atanything. And reading and
writing really became my world
TD Flenaugh (02:39):
Okay, and so that
is great, just seeing that your
dad complimented something aboutyou and that helped you to latch
on to something that really thatyou felt good about you felt
confident with.Tell me aboutsome of your educational
experiences that help lead tothe work that you do today.
Michelle Steiner (03:03):
Well, some of
I was diagnosed with a learning
disability whenever I was inkindergarten. I can remember
just really being in school andbeing frustrated in the
classroom. My teacher noticedthat I was really struggling
whenever I was there. Istruggled with math. I struggled
with a lot of things, withwriting my name, I also had a
(03:26):
great difficulty just withlearning and anything math
related was really difficult forme, and I was diagnosed with a
learning disability whenever Iwas in kindergarten, and I had
to repeat the grade and I had togo to a different school, and it
still was a public school in ourin our district, but I had to do
(03:47):
that, and school was a realstruggle for me. I struggled to
learn. I just wanted to beaccepted by my peers. So I also
struggled socially as well, andit was just really difficult for
me with that, and I just didn'tthink I was good at anything.
But luckily, I as I wentthroughout school, I started to
(04:07):
be in more regular ed classes. Iwas in all regular ed classes
except for math and resourcewhenever I was in school and
socially, though, it got a lotharder for me. A lot of my peer
groups became more defined, andI just didn't feel like I fit in
anywhere, and I found a groupthat was right outside of our
school district that was not asaffiliated with our school, and
(04:31):
I didn't have peers that wentthere, so I was able to find
other friends that had similarinterests, and I could shed that
reputation that followed Me forall those years, and when I
stopped hanging out with thatgroup, I started to hang out
with another group that I wasinvolved with, and it was an
adult writing group. And 30 someyears later, we still meet once
(04:54):
a month to talk about ourwriting and we're in each
other's lives, and they reallyencourage me you should write
about having a learningdisability, math, oh, no, that's
too personal, and I wrote somereally bad poetry and some other
stuff I wouldn't want to readtoday.
TD Flenaugh (05:07):
Well, thank you so
much for sharing that like you
know, I think something we haveto highlight is finding that
specific group for your child.
Michelle Steiner (05:18):
Yes,
TD Flenaugh (05:18):
It's really
important. They may, you know,
and I want to say, like, how yousaid, your family found
something outside of yourschool. Sometimes not at the
school. Sometimes you can changeschool, sometimes you can't, but
you might be able to lookoutside of the school to find
activities that will help sparksome joy for your child, help
(05:40):
them. Find a friend group, findtheir people, you know, so that
is so good that you've broughtit up, and hopefully we're
taking those things to heart aswe're some of us out there are
trying to struggling with, howdo we support our kids?
Michelle Steiner (05:55):
I began to
receive specialty instruction,
and I also began to haveaccommodations as well in the
classroom. And learning wasreally hard, especially in the
very beginning. I didn't Ireally struggled. I just wanted
to learn like my peers, and Ijust wanted to have all that,
and it just wasn't comingtogether very easily for me. And
(06:18):
I also wanted to be accepted,and I was also bullied from a
very young age. I went to a verysmall, conservative school
district where I couldn't hidethat I was struggling in the
classroom. I couldn't camouflagethat I went to learning support,
to have classes or to have atest read to me, or to have
extra time on tests. It was justreally difficult for me, and it
(06:40):
started very early on with that.
I even struggled when I was inlearning support, because most
of my peers struggled withreading, some behavior issues.
Sadly, some of them had traumabackgrounds, and I can I know
there's also students in myclass that, looking back, I
don't think they had learningdisabilities. Some of them had
autism and other things, and wejust didn't know what to do, so
(07:01):
they just dumped them in theclass.
As I got throughout school,though, it got a lot easier for
me academically. We figured outthat I could read really well
and I could learn, as long as itwasn't involving math or
handwriting. I that wassomething typing changed a lot
of that as well.
TD Flenaugh (07:21):
Can you, yeah, so
your disability, they found out.
Can you tell us what it was, orwhat they called it?
Michelle Steiner (07:28):
Sure, whenever
I was young, they just said that
I had a learning disability.
TD Flenaugh (07:32):
Okay,
Michelle Steiner (07:33):
that's how it
was explained with with my
parents,
TD Flenaugh (07:36):
okay, oh,
Michelle Steiner (07:36):
yeah.
TD Flenaugh (07:39):
And so then as you
got older, you're saying that
you could notice it was moreabout math. So do they have,
like, another diagnosis forsomething more specific? Now?
Unknown (07:49):
they didn't give it
anything more specific. As I
went throughout school. Theydidn't find out a lot of the
other thing. I mean, they knewvisual perception was another
thing as well, but we alwaysknew math was the was going to
be my big challenge. And I canremember, they tried putting me
in a regular ed math and eventhe basic class, and I still I
(08:11):
just didn't do well. So I endedup back and learning support.
But one thing that they foundout really did work was if I was
I could be in all regular edclasses by the time I was in
high school, except for math anda resource room, and I was doing
really well. I was I made honorroll. I had good grades. But I
(08:33):
mean, the the bully, it gotharder for me socially. Though,
whenever I was in in thosehigher grades, I can just
remember the peer groups aremore defined, and I just didn't
feel like I fit in. Like I fitin with anybody, and it was
hard. So what I ended up doingwas I found a group outside of
our school district. They was anarts based group, and I found
(08:54):
people that didn't go to myschool, and they accepted me for
having for who I was. Theydidn't know that I had the
disability, and when I latershared I did, I found out there
was other people that had that.
And whenever I stopped hangingout with that group, I found an
adult writing group that, 20some years later, we still meet
every Saturday to, I mean, oncea month, to talk about our
(09:17):
writing and we're in eachother's lives. And that really
made the difference for me,
TD Flenaugh (09:24):
I just yeah, like a
lot of you know, parents and
caregivers, educators, likehelping a kid find a place,
something that they really loveto do, and find, like a peer
group that they could do thatwith, is really pivotal in a lot
of kids' lives, and so that'ssomething that you know, if
you're not sure how to supportyour kid, that could be one
(09:46):
thing is like, get help them.
Try to connect to what theylike, really take notice of what
they do. Well, like you weresaying, like, you may not be
good at math, but you've gotyour compliments about your
reading or your writing, and.
That really helped you to find afriend group as well. So
sometimes they don't know perse. You may have to point it out
(10:06):
and, you know, give themcompliments, and then they might
gravitate towards something, butit it doesn't happen right away,
but it's something that youcould be looking out for, for
sure. So thank you for
Michelle Steiner (10:19):
yes,
definitely. Again. Yeah,
TD Flenaugh (10:22):
yeah. So, so you
did tell me that you did have
some people telling you that youwouldn't be able to do certain
things. Like, I don't know, youknow, who are those people that
told you those things? Like, youknow, what kind of role
did they have inyour life? And then what were
Michelle Steiner (10:37):
sure
those things they were telling
you couldn't do well.
I had alearning support teacher who
told me that I couldn't handlegoing to college because of my
math, and she was telling methat I should just go to a trade
school, but nothing that reallyinterested me. So I decided that
wasn't going to be a wisechoice. So I decided I wanted to
(10:58):
go to college. I had apsychiatrist who told me that I
would not, most likely not, gobeyond Community College, and
that was really discouraging.
And when I got to communitycollege, I had an advisor who
told me that I would havelimited job choices because of
my math. And I also had peoplethat just didn't think that even
using disability accommodationswas right. Some people thought
(11:18):
that they were cheating. I canremember I had a professor that
said that when I asked, Can Iuse a calculator in this class?
And she said, Well, we use ourbrains in this room, not
calculators.
TD Flenaugh (11:31):
Yeah. So people's
attitudes toward disabilities
and then, like those specialaccommodations that are needed
are sometimes a challenge. Ithink, hopefully, as we are
getting we're evolving as asociety and everything that
we're more understanding. Youknow, our families may run into
(11:53):
some of these barriers, and soit's good to be aware of it, so
you can help prepare your childfor it and really be able to
circumvent these, you know,challenges that come up, what
made you keep going when you'reeven hearing from other people,
like, probably not Michelle, notable to do this, like, what kept
you going?
Michelle Steiner (12:13):
I did have one
person was really encouraging. I
had a student teacher when I wasin high school that told me you
can go to college because youknow how to study, and that
sometimes I would hear thatvoice whenever I was at school
when it was hard. I also wasreally blessed to have parents
that were there for me as welland understood that. And I also
(12:33):
had great friends that theycouldn't fix the problem, but
they could be my friendthroughout everything. And I
think that's really key in lifeis to have that
TD Flenaugh (12:42):
something for our
audience to really take away
from this is like helping yourkids find a good friend group,
good friends, identify goodfriends, and really being
encouraging of your kids despitewhatever you know setbacks or
shortcomings that they may have,right is really, really
important. So that kept yougoing. And so tell us about, you
(13:03):
know, your education level thatyou were able to achieve despite
different people saying, no, notMichelle, not able to handle it.
Michelle Steiner (13:10):
I was able to
get my bachelor's degree, and
that came as a real surprise.
After I got my associate'sdegree, I moved out on my own.
After a while, I had some tempjobs. I not able to drive
because of my disability. So itwas really nice that I was
living in a place that was in acentral location. But I always
wanted more for myself, and becareful what you wish for,
(13:30):
because that it just mighthappen. And I can remember I had
to move back in with my parentsbecause of financial reasons.
And during this job, my downwith my job was downsizing, and
I thought, I'm going to giveUniversity a try. And I found a
program that had the leastamount of math and science
possible, and it had disabilityaccommodations and a program
that I loved, and I went inthere, and I used the
(13:53):
accommodations. I had a notetaker, I had extended test time
on test I had tutoring when Ineeded it, and most importantly,
I advocated for myself. I wouldintroduce myself to new
professors and tell them theservices that I needed, and most
of them were wonderful and dideverything they could do to help
me. I had a few that didn'tquite get the memo, and there
was still that stigma withdisability accommodations with
(14:15):
other peers, but I was just ableto silence that and focus on
what I needed to do to be to bea success.
TD Flenaugh (14:24):
I, you know, as a
as a teacher, as a parent, you
know, I've heard from lots ofparents, and I've experienced
this myself as a teacher, wheresometimes as kids get older,
they're really ashamed of theaccommodations. They don't want
to use them, and obviouslythey'll need them, so that
(14:45):
shame, or whatever, which, youknow, it'll stop them from going
where they want to go, becausethey're not getting the support
that they need. And so I justwant to highlight like, you
know, you're able to get yourbachelor's degree, you're able.
Able to find a career thatworked for you. Be independent,
but you did use thoseaccommodations because you
(15:08):
needed them, and you advocatedfor yourself. So I I really hope
out there that kids and parentsare helping kids to advocate for
themselves, because they do needthose supports. Right? It's,
it's not that there's somethingwrong with you is you need extra
support in certain areas, right?
And all of us have somethingthat we're not so good at. And
(15:28):
trying to take that shame awayand just really use what you
need to get where you need togo, is really important.
Michelle Steiner (15:36):
Exactly
TD Flenaugh (15:37):
this may what other
people are worried about is that
you said there's a stigma withyour peers like so some people
saw you using something and theysaid some things or what. What
did that look like? Yes, it didlook like that. And this was
actually in one of the classeswhere they were teaching about
disabilities, and I had a peerthat was saying, Oh, they get
extra time because they have adisability on a test. I wish I
(15:59):
got that. They were saying,well, maybe I could use it with
my allergies. And I, you know,I'm hearing this, and I have
allergies myself, and thatwasn't the reason why I was
getting the extra time. I wasgetting it because I had a
separate condition with having alearning disability. But I
learned that, okay, somebody canthink that, people can feel that
(16:21):
and but it's just not worth mytime and my energy to go out and
try to convince people that Ineed this. I have to just go
forward knowing this is what Ineed to do, and take that
action. And there's always goingto be people that are going to
think that I don't need it, orthey wish they had it. I can't
control that. Absolutely, I'm soglad that you said this and you
(16:45):
talked about, you know, how youdealt with that, because, you
know, we don't know, right? Alot of times it's just silent.
The kid doesn't want theaccommodation anymore, so they
may not tell us, you know, Kimover there said something when I
had, you know, or they made aface, or they were laughing, or
whatever it is, right? Theydon't always tell us. We just
know, okay, they don't want touse it anymore, but obviously
(17:08):
they need it. So how can we helpthem? You know? And of course,
they won't, you know. Sometimesthey don't make it through their
classes and everything, and theydon't achieve their goals
because they're worried aboutwhat someone is going to say.
But it is their right. It isyour right in in learning to
advocate for yourself and justmove on like you can't dwell on
what other people are going tosay when you're getting the
(17:30):
things that you need. You know.
Michelle Steiner (17:32):
Yep, exactly.
TD Flenaugh (17:33):
Okay, so tell us
about your company now,
Michelle's Mission,
Michelle Steiner (17:38):
yes, I have a
blog where I write about my life
with having a learningdisability, and I feature
photography and a lot of naturemetaphors on there. I might talk
about the process of myaccepting my disabilities like a
flower that's unblooming. And Itry to make it simple so people
can understand that might have adisability. And I also make it
(17:58):
simple so other people who maynot understand learning
disabilities, understand, have aknowledge of that as well. And I
also have a store where I do putmy photography. I have take a
lot of pictures because I'm notable to drive. Whenever I'm on
my walks, I take pictures offlowers and other things in
nature that then inspire me, andthat gives me that chance to
(18:22):
stop and smell the roses and tonotice details that I would miss
if I was driving a vehicle.
TD Flenaugh (18:28):
I'm just so glad.
Like, you know, I It's sowonderful to hear like, you
know, you're able to beindependent. Maybe you're not
able to do this one thing. Justto tell you, Michelle, like
driving was the hardest thingthat I, I learned how to do. It
really was, but also now my mydream car. I don't really have a
dream car, but it's a personaldriver. So it's, it's something,
Michelle Steiner (18:54):
yeah, Don't
blame you
TD Flenaugh (18:57):
and there's lots of
self driving cars and all that
kind of stuff. So, I mean, justone thing, of course, you know
is, is not a big thing to youknow, from your life, you have
so many things going on. Youalso like publishing. Can you
tell us about some of thethings, some of the writing that
you've done and been published?
Michelle Steiner (19:15):
Sure, I have a
couple few stories published in
two anthologies I had a chanceto write about one. It was
called rediscovering your story,and I went to a workshop where
people talked about differentthings, and we had prompts. Some
of the prompts were fun oneswhere we talked about our hair
were our favorite place, but wealso had the chance to talk
aboutWhere I have that, the link for
(19:59):
that as well on my website, andI have another anthology that's
tentatively coming out in thefall, and it's about just my
experience with having alearning disability and growing
in a garden with that.
TD Flenaugh (20:16):
All right, so we'll
look out for that. All the links
are in the show notes, so we'lltake a look at that. Um,
Michelle Steiner (20:22):
sure.
TD Flenaugh (20:22):
So can you tell us
your website? Can you get your
tell us a little bit aboutMichelle's, Michelle's mission?
Can you tell us the website andand all of that?
Michelle Steiner (20:31):
Sure My My
website is www, dot, Michelle's
mission, com. And on thereyou'll find my pictures for my
adventures and my walks, andalso just different blog
articles where we getinformation.
TD Flenaugh (20:50):
The rewrite method
and the rewrite method workbook
are your go to resource forhelping kids to learn to fall in
love with writing. It has thetips, tools, resources,
strategies and skill buildingactivities to help kids fall out
(21:15):
of writing, hoot and into lovingto write. Get your book set
today,
Michelle Steiner (21:33):
and about
having a learning disability,
TD Flenaugh (21:37):
okay, all right, so
when people are what kind of
advice right will you give topeople who's there may be afraid
to gettested or assessed like you know
you said when you're a littlekid, your teacher was like, I
think she may have a disability.
But I have really spoken andworked with a lot of parents who
(22:01):
are, like, worried about thattheir kid may be behind, but
they're worried like, I don'twant my kid labeled. I don't
want this to be a burden intheir life, or like a barrier
right now that they've beenidentified, or something like
that.
Unknown (22:18):
I think first of all,
if you are identified early, it
becomes more of a lifestyle, andyou have a chance to adjust to
that as being part of your life.
I know very early on, just itbecame, it was not always fun,
it was not always easy, but thatbecame a lifestyle. I knew that
I was going to have to do thingsdifferently, and that gave me a
realistic approach when I wentto college and whenever I even
(22:40):
approached problems in myeveryday life, that I knew that
I was going to have to havecertain accommodations, I also
understood that I would need tohave just different ways to be
able to be a success in life.
And my parents explained to methings in simple wage
appropriate terms. They told methat I have a learning
(23:01):
disability and that my brainworks differently and learns
differently, and that was muchbetter advice than I was hearing
from my peers. A lot of my peerswere telling me that I wasn't
very smart. They were using alot of unkind words to describe
me, and I just think that if Iwouldn't have had that diagnosis
and I wouldn't have had thathelp. I might have spent years
(23:25):
struggling in school. My parentsmight have not, weren't educated
on what to do, and I could havebeen punished a lot more for bad
grades or things like that, andI don't know if I would have
been able to go as far as I havewith having that confidence and
that knowledge of myself that
TD Flenaugh (23:45):
is, you know, it's
so important that you brought
that up. I'm so glad that, youknow, hopefully people are
really taking those words toheart, right?
That getting diagnosed early,like finding out what the
problem is being being able toname what it is that's the
issue, and then as you grew,right, you're learning how to
(24:08):
adapt, and you're able toadvocate for yourself, you're
able to pinpoint what the issueis.
(24:59):
Saying, like you're gonnastruggle, but if you have a way
to address that struggle, you'vegot supports in place, like they
could always reach out and getand have, then you're gonna do
better than just being, youknow, behind with no end in
sight. Like there's nothing.
There's no definition, there's
Michelle Steiner (25:20):
Yeah. So
exactly
TD Flenaugh (25:21):
yeah, there's
nothing documenting. Because,
you know, sometimes teachers orwhatever, or people don't want
to give you the extra but ifit's documented, it's like, no,
I do. I'm required. I amright. It's my rights to have
this extra support, this extratime or whatever. So it means a
lot. We just have to, I knowit's hard. We, you know, we all
like, love our kids, we all wantthe best for them, and we don't
(25:43):
always know if this new thingcoming in or someone testing
them, or whatever right is goingto be the right thing for them.
Right?
Michelle Steiner (25:52):
Exactly. It's
just knowing that it is having
that as a as something that theyneed, and it's documented, and
that way they have to followthrough with that.
TD Flenaugh (26:04):
It holds people
accountable for giving you the
support that you need as well. Ithink it's also important for
parents to know that, just likeas a parent, you could say, No,
I don't want my child assessed.
Once your child is assessed,they you still have control
over, like, what kind ofsupports they they need if you
don't feel like there's enoughthere or enough support, right?
(26:26):
This isn't working. I need youto do something better. I need
you to do, you know, so you havemore control. It's not like just
out of your hands once yourchild is,
you know, get the individualizededucation plan, like you still
have rights, and you get a sayso about their placement and all
(26:49):
kinds of things. So it'ssomething, it's a tool to be
used for the benefit of thechild. So sometimes we people
don't understand that, becausethey it's just unknown. They
haven't been in it. You know
Unknown (27:03):
exactly, yeah, of
TD Flenaugh (27:05):
course. What were
there some changes over the
years that you had to make, oradded accommodations, or
different things like that, thatyou needed, that you had to
advocate for,
Unknown (27:17):
some of the things that
I really had to make, I didn't
have a note taker when I was inall my years of school, so
that's one of the things I had acollege I also had an additional
diagnosis of limited handdexterity in both of my hands,
so that's been an adjustment,but the lights went off after I
figured out that. So basically,sometimes what some of the
(27:40):
things that I've had to do thatthat's actually what inspired me
to write my first article was mystruggle to open up doors and
being able to open up my door. Iwas so frustrated when we moved
into our home, I couldn't openup our front door with with my
hands and it I wrote an articleon the mighty and it got
published, and I had a greatresponse, but some of the things
(28:01):
I've had to do is I have, like,a key helper that helps me be
able to open a door. I have jaropeners and bottle openers for
things if I can't open up a jar.
Those are a few things that Ithat I can do. And definitely,
with having a phone, it's a lotof the technology too. If I'm
out in public and I need toleave a tip, I can use my phone
(28:23):
to do that. So I think that'ssome of the things that we've
adjusted. Typing has been a bigthing too. Instead of
handwriting, I think that thathelps out if someone wants to
read what I have to say. Andthere's things that I can sign,
like documents online, ratherthan having someone try to
figure out my my
TD Flenaugh (28:44):
That is so good
that you brought up those
things. And I think the doorhandle is such a common thing
that we all open so, so easy,quote, unquote, for a lot of
people.
Michelle Steiner (28:59):
Yeah,
TD Flenaugh (28:59):
that you know you
understand. Like, you need to
give them access. Like, if youknow, if this person is not able
to open it, then give themsupport they need. And the same
thing for the academics, like,if they need support note taking
or something like that, pleasegive them that support so they
could access it. So, yeah,that's something I feel like
people maybe can relate to morebecause they don't understand.
(29:20):
Like, that's so simple, but notfor everyone, right? And people
needing support to get inside ofa door is so essential, but
something that maybe peoplecould think about make them
really think like, okay, no,this person does need some extra
support, and it's okay, right?
It's okay,
Michelle Steiner (29:36):
right?
TD Flenaugh (29:46):
like, what's coming
up next for you. Like, what is
coming up next for you?
Michelle Steiner (29:50):
I would
definitely love to increase my
blog definitely and morespeaking arrangements to be able
to share my story. And I wouldalso like to have a book in the
future. I.
About my life a memoir.
Where can we find you? Like onsocial we told we heard about
your website. What about onsocial media? Are you what a
platform I'm on Facebook andInstagram. Okay, great. And
(30:13):
again, that will be in the shownotes for everyone to see. You
can reach out to Michelle, okay,thank you guys. Thank you so
much for joining us on thefalling for learning podcast.
Are there any like last wordsthat you want to give advice to
educators or parents out therewatching or listening to the
show?
I would just probably say toreally encourage students to
(30:36):
advocate. I know that I work asa para educator in a school, and
I always encourage my studentsto advocate, because someday our
students are going to leave us,and they're going to graduate,
and hopefully they'll be able toachieve every single dream that
they have, but it's really forso many of them, their
disability isn't going to leavethem. So it's so important that
they know how to advocate andspeak up for themselves.
TD Flenaugh (30:58):
Okay, thank you so
much. Do something today that's
going to give your child acompetitive advantage. Thank you
for joining us. Thanks again forsupporting the falling for
learning podcast. New Episodesgo live every Saturday at 5pm
you can watch us onyoutube.com/@fallingforlearning
(31:20):
or listen on all major podcastplatforms such as Apple, Google,
Audible, Spotify and much more.
For more resources, visitfalling in love with
learning.com.
We really appreciate you. Have awonderful week.