How does co-parent counseling work?

On this episode of Family Law Talk, Kirk Stange explains that co-parent counseling can help separated or divorced parents improve communication and reduce conflict, often through court referral. Sessions begin individually and move to joint meetings to build cooperative parenting skills. While it can ease disputes and prevent further litigation, its success depends on both parents’ willingness to participate and work together.

This podcast is based on an article on our Family Law Headquarters blog: The scoop on co-parent counseling

To learn more or to schedule a consultation with our St. Louis divorce lawyers, call 855-805-0595 or email [e-mail].

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Familylaw Talk. Familylaw Talk presented by Kirk Stangy
of Stangy Law Firm PC. Stangy Law Firm is a
multi state family law firm. Now here's your host, Kirk Stangy.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to Family Law Talk. We have an interesting topic today.
The topic is how does co parent counseling work? And
this episode today is based on an article on our
blog Familylawheadquarters dot com dated October twelfth, twenty twenty five,
and the title of the article is the scoop on
co Parentcounseling. So as a follow up to the episode

(00:39):
today and going over to familaw Headquarters dot com and
read this article from more information. But let's go ahead
and jump on in. The reality is that co parent
counseling is a popular trend in divorcing FAMI law matters.
In some cases, the parties might agree to go to
co parenting counseling together on their own accord in order

(00:59):
to try to communicate better with one another, and a
lot of cases this isn't the situation, but what ends
up happening is the court with the guardian at l
item recommend co parent counseling. In some cases, They might
even do an order for co parent counseling which orders
the parties to engage in it in meaningful attempts to
try to communicate better. All right. The idea behind co

(01:22):
parent counseling is that it can enhance the communication skills
of parties that are divorcing or separating, and then the
hope is that by communicating more effectively, then the parties
will be able to work together in a more amicable
manner for the best interests of their kids. Right, and so,
lots of parties when going through these cases can be

(01:42):
aver serial, They can be upset with one another, there
can be hard feelings. But the idea is that if
parties are able to work together in a cordial manner,
then this will be good for the parties, this will
be good for the kids, and hopefully this will result
in less repeat litigation in really an amicable resolution to
disputes that might take place. All right, So, in hearing this,

(02:04):
many wonder, well, what does this look like and how
does this work? Okay? Obviously, co parent counseling can be
different based on the co parent counselor and based on
the facts, but in a general sense, what happens is
the co parent counselor will meet each party alone for
a certain number of sessions, get to know each of
the parties individually, try to find out who they are,

(02:28):
what they're about, and what their communications styles are, and
then you know what are the differences between the parties. Okay.
So typically the co parent counselor will meet each of
the parties separately for a while, and then ultimately we'll
bring the parties together into joint sessions. I mean this
is normally the case, and the joint sessions could be

(02:49):
in person. In the day and age of virtual meetings,
it could be via zoom something like that, where the
parties are not in the same room. But the idea
is that therapist then works with the parties on how
to communicate better. Okay, And so the sessions can be
quite a bit different based on the parties and the

(03:09):
circumstances in the communication that takes place between the parties.
Sometimes communication might be more free flowing with a therapist
sort of sitting back and letting the communication happen and
they offer suggestions. In other cases where maybe it's adverseerial
or maybe there's a lot of hard feelings the therapists

(03:30):
might have to regulate the conversation much more in a
structured manner, all right. Therapists also might ask the parties
to do some work between the sessions. Okay, And this
could really entail a lot of stuff from reading books,
reading literature, to maybe writing things down for the next

(03:50):
meetings or homework of things to think about coming into
the next sessions. Okay, And this can again look very
different based on the parties, how they communicate, what the
differences are, and what the backgrounds are. All right. And
again the hope is that by doing this, parties are
able to co parent better, They're able to get along

(04:10):
in a way that it is at least cordial and
that is at least amicable, and that this can result
in the parties settling their issues outside of the court system.
All right, So this is the hope, This is the aspiration.
You know. One of the other questions parties have is well,
how long does a co parent counseling continue. This is

(04:31):
going to vary based on the facts too, but sometimes
co parent counseling can be for many many months, maybe
even longer. Sometimes co parenting counseling could be for a
shorter duration of time where the parties are able to
get on the same page a lot quicker okay. For
some parties, you know, they might be in some form
of co parenting counseling into the kids are emancipated theoretically,

(04:52):
all right, So this can vary a whole lot, okay.
Another question parties have is does co parenting counseling always work?
And the answer to that question is no, it doesn't
always work, and some parties tempers can flare, people can
get angry with each other, right, And in these kinds
of cases, co parenting counseling can be quite difficult. So

(05:15):
there can be circumstances where the parties try co parenting
counseling and want or both parties back out of it
and don't want to do it anymore. There could be
a situation where the co parent counselor recommends that the
parties not do it any longer if it's not going well.
Other cases where co parenting counseling can be quite difficult,

(05:35):
and I think a lot of attorneys would say it's
not advisable in cases where there's been some significant domestic violence.
Right where there's been domestic violence of a significant nature,
it can be very difficult for this to work, and
it could be harmful on the party who's been abused
to want to participate in the in the co parenting

(05:56):
counseling as well. Okay, so no, co parenting counseling doesn't
always work, and so then a lot of parties ask, well,
is they're worth trying? And the question to that or
the answer to that question is a little bit complicated. Obviously,
there's never any guarantees in terms of co parenting counseling,
never any guarantees. Sometimes co parenting counseling can can truly work,

(06:19):
but it ultimately entails both parties wanting it to work,
both parties being willing to bury the haget with one
another and co parent and compromise. Okay, so that is
very very important. But for a lot of parties, yes,
it's worth the attempt at least, and parties ought to
try it and try it in a meaningful manner. But

(06:42):
in some circumstances where one party doesn't want to bury
the hatchet, or one party wants to threaten litigation repeatedly
if they don't get their way, or where one party
is committed, you know, significant accid domestic violence upon somebody.
You know, then maybe it's not worth the effort in
these circumstances. And I think with the domestic violence, I
think a lot of attorneys would say, yeah, probably a

(07:03):
bad idea to do this, particularly in person, you know,
where there could be concerns with people coming in and
out of the sessions together. You know, that would have
to be via zoom or something like that if it
were even to happen. Okay. Other circumstances where co parenting
counseling could be difficult, where one or both of the
parties have significant mental illness or personality disorders, or where

(07:25):
somebody is very high conflict and not acting rationally, this
can be very difficult and there can not be a
great likelihood of this succeeding. Okay, So to really kind
of sum this up, look, a lot of courts guardia
items are fond of co parenting counseling. They're fond of
parties at least trying it. So in a lot of
cases the parties should probably at least try it, should

(07:47):
attempt it, all right. Some parties have success with co
parenting counseling, so it can work at times, all right,
In cases where both parties want it to work and
they want things to get better, there can definitely be
a positive impact. And there can be a situation where
parties are at least able to be cordial with one another,
civil with one another, and that can be extremely helpful.

(08:09):
All right, and other circumstances, you know, it might not
work and it might not be worth the effort, where
there again been domestic violence, a lot of mental illness,
or where one party is not really willing to move
on and as always threatening litigation if they don't get
their way, And these kinds of circumstances very challenging to
see it work. But look, I wanted to at least

(08:30):
cover this topic and bring it up. This is very common,
the idea of co parenting counseling. It's really gaining prominence
more and more people trying it, so I thought it
was an important topic to cover here today. So again,
as a follow up to the episode, going over to
FAMI lawheadquarters dot com, read the article titled the Scoop
on co parent Counseling. This will give you more information

(08:50):
on this topic. But thanks for tuning in today, Stay
tuned for our next episode of Family Law Talk coming up.
Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Thank you for listening to Family Law Talk with Kirk Stangy.
Visit Stangy Lawfirm dot com for more about today's topic
or to put Stangy Law Firm to work for your
family today. The choice of a lawyer is an important
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(09:21):
this podcast is not, nor is it intended to be
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(09:43):
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