Things Adoptees Hear That Make Us Want to Scream

In this episode of Family Twist, Corey and Kendall get raw, real, and a little ranty. It’s part group therapy, part comedy roast, and all about the phrases adoptees hear over and over again that range from paper-cut stings to sledgehammer blows. From “You’re so lucky your parents chose you” to “Do you know your real parents?”—they unpack why these comments miss the mark, how they flatten adoptee stories, and what people could say instead.

With equal parts humor and honesty, Corey and Kendall explain how these clichés can turn gratitude into a prison, erase adoptive parents, or script feelings adoptees never asked for. They don’t just rant, though. They share practical, respectful alternatives and invite listeners—adoptees and non-adoptees alike—to reflect on the power of words.

If you’ve ever felt like screaming when someone told you “everything happens for a reason,” this episode gives you permission. Consider it adoptee group therapy with a laugh track.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• Why “You’re so lucky your parents chose you” erases loss behind adoption.
• The problem with asking “Do you know your real parents?” and how to reframe.
• The myth of “at least you were wanted” and how it silences nuance.
• Why “your birth mom must have loved you so much to give you up” oversimplifies complicated truths.
• Why adoptees bristle at “blood is thicker than water.”
• Alternatives to clichés: what to actually say when adoption comes up.
• The reminder that adoptees are not “special” props—they’re layered people with layered stories.

Takeaway Message

Adoption isn’t about being lucky or broken. It’s both love and loss, gratitude and grief, connection and disconnection. Adoptees deserve space to tell their own stories without scripts handed down in clichés.