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March 11, 2025 26 mins

In this intimate and reflective solo-hosted episode, Kendall dives deep into a powerful conversation with guest John Portmann, exploring themes of family, identity, adoption secrecy, and the life-changing power of DNA discoveries.

Uncovering My Secret Irish Heritage Through DNA

Key Highlights:

  • Growing Up Adopted:
  • John shares parallels with Kendall in their early experiences of adoption, highlighting the profound role their adoptive parents played in creating a sense of security through openness and religious narratives.
  • The adoption narrative instilled by John's religious parents: "God chose our family."

Family Dynamics and Adoption:

  • Both Kendall and John experienced early awareness of their adoption but had distinctly different emotional journeys.
  • John discusses his upbringing, his adoption in Arizona, and childhood relocation to Pennsylvania.
  • Reflections from John on suppressing curiosity about biological origins during childhood versus the persistent desire for answers later in life.

Health History & Identity:

  • John addresses the challenges adoptees face when asked about family medical history by doctors or financial planners.
  • John explains how practical considerations, like retirement planning, sparked his curiosity about personal origins.

DNA as a Gateway:

  • The transformative moment when John received DNA test results from Ancestry.
  • John's shock, confusion, and excitement upon discovering he was 100% Irish and connecting with potential family members.

Searching and Finding Biological Family:

  • John recounts his initial, confusing interactions with DNA matches and the struggle to interpret results.
  • Introduction to the DNA detective who significantly impacted John's search—a Canadian university professor who provided empathetic, professional, and effective assistance.
  • John discusses overcoming initial fears and vulnerability about trusting strangers with deeply personal information.

The Deep Impact of Adoption Secrets:

  • The emotional complexities surrounding adoption secrecy, societal attitudes, and the powerful longing for identity validation.
  • Insights from John into how societal shame and religious beliefs influenced the adoption process historically, especially within Catholic communities.

Fighting for Identity and Citizenship:

  • John shares his challenging journey toward proving his Irish ancestry and gaining Irish citizenship despite legal and bureaucratic hurdles.
  • Advocacy, resilience, and perseverance as John navigated complex international bureaucracy.
  • The crucial role DNA evidence played in breaking down barriers in adoption and identity recognition, both in the U.S. and internationally.

Reflective Insights:

  • Kendall and John share mutual understanding as adoptees, reflecting on the lifelong impact adoption can have on identity, belonging, and self-discovery.
  • Discussion on how revealing hidden truths can heal generational wounds and empower adoptees.

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