Can we ever truly feel safe if we don’t know where we came from?
Episode Summary:
In this deeply emotional episode of Family Twist, we welcome Bryan Post, world-renowned therapist, author, and adoptee, for a conversation that feels more like a healing session than an interview.
Bryan speaks directly to the heart of what many adoptees feel but struggle to articulate: the hidden trauma, the nervous system overload, the sense of disconnection that lingers, even in the midst of reunion.
For co-host Kendall, this conversation became personal fast. Bryan didn’t just talk theory, he listened, responded, and gently guided Kendall through some of his deepest emotional truths. It was a moment of unexpected vulnerability, and it reminded us why these stories matter so much.
If you’re adopted, donor-conceived, part of the foster care system, or love someone who is, this episode offers real insight, real compassion, and a roadmap for healing.
Why This Episode Left Us in Tears (and Hope)
Key Takeaways:
- Trauma lives in the body: Even with a loving adoptive family, separation at birth creates nervous system disruptions.
- Adoptees often regulate by pleasing: Bryan breaks down the “good kid” survival strategy and why it’s exhausting.
- Healing starts with understanding: Bryan explains the difference between punishment and regulation and why love always works better than fear.
- This was a real therapy moment for Kendall: Bryan’s response to Kendall’s story was one of patience, empathy, and genuine support.
Pull Quotes:
"If I can help one person feel seen, then that’s why I share my story." – Kendall
"Trauma isn’t what happens to you—it’s what happens inside you as a result." – Bryan Post
"Adoptees are master regulators. We survive by making sure everyone else is okay." – Bryan Post
Resources Mentioned:
- Bondify (therapy app)
- From Fear to Love: Your Essential Guide to Parenting Adopted and Foster Children
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk (book recommendation)
- Family Twist episode: Wendy Kramer on Donor-Conceived Identity
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