In this captivating episode of the Fast 15, join us for the second part (Check out Part #1 Here on SDESworks.com) of our insightful conversation with Dr. DeShanna Reed, where we delve deeper into the intricacies of educational consulting and the transformative power of compassionate strategy. Dr. Reed, a renowned two-time TEDx speaker, author, and experienced educator, shares her remarkable journey and invaluable insights into special education, highlighting the importance of trust, observation, and actionable plans in fostering growth within school communities.
Show Notes:
- Introduction:
Dr. DeShanna Reed returns for part two of our enlightening conversation, offering further wisdom on educational consulting and special education. - Highlighting Support:
Explore more amazing champions like Dr. Reed at SDESwork.com. For structured support and innovative solutions in special education classrooms, Functional Academics provides invaluable resources and expertise. - Unveiling Compassionate Strategy:
Dr. Reed shares her methodology, blending observation, engaging dialogue, and accountability to drive substantial progress in school communities. - A Personal Journey:
Reflecting on her own life's voyage, including adversity, military duty, and teaching, Dr. Reed emphasizes the profound influence of family dynamics on her approach to education. - Sibling Support:
Recognizing the monumental role siblings play in guiding children with disabilities, we acknowledge organizations like Siblings with a Mission for their invaluable support and understanding. - Closing Thoughts:
Our dialogue intertwines strategy with heartfelt caregiving, resonating with anyone invested in nurturing our educational landscape and family bonds. Don't miss out on more resources and support at Functional Academics, guiding educators towards impactful practices in special education classrooms.
Links:
- Learn more about Dr. DeShanna Reed and her work at www.dreedcca.com/ld
- Explore additional champions at SDESwork.com
- For structured support and innovative solutions, visit [Functional Academics](Functional Academ
Barbara Beck is the host of the FAST 15 Podcast. She is a highly dedicated Disability Advocate and Special Education Consultant specializing in IEP Transition Services. Barbara has an extensive background as a special education teacher spanning nearly 30 years. She has dedicated her career to empowering transition-age youth and fostering positive post-school outcomes.
Barbara's expertise lies in providing comprehensive support and guidance to students with disabilities, ensuring their successful transition from school to adult life. She possesses a deep understanding of secondary services and possesses the skills to develop tailored strategies that maximize individual potential.
For more information and resources on special education school-to-adulthood transition planning and independent living, visit www.mykeyplans.com. Join us on social media for updates, behind-the-scenes content, and discussions about special education, inclusion, and disability advocacy. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn and use #IEPLaunchpadPodcast to join the conversation. Thank you for tuning in to the IEP Launchpad Podcast! 🎧🎙️#IDD #teaching #specialed #specialneeds #InclusionMatters #DisabilityAdvocacy #EmpowerVoices #edtech, #education #e
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello friends, I'm glad you're here with us to pick
up part two of our conversationwith Dr Deshauna Reid.
If you missed last week'sepisode, be sure to listen to
that one, as she has so manygreat experiences and words of
wisdom to share with ourchampions of special education.
There's so much to gain fromlistening to her share her voice
and her perspective that wejust simply couldn't keep it to
(00:24):
just 15 minutes.
Every moment with Dr Deshawnais incredibly valuable, so let's
get back to it and jump righton in.
So I was going to ask you whatyour two or three main tools in
your toolbox.
When you go into a school, yougo into a conversation with
(00:45):
people in a consulting role.
What are those greatest toolsthat you use?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
That's a really great question.
The first thing that I do, ofcourse, after the introductions
and pleasantries is I get reallysilent.
Okay, just watch, because youcan learn a whole lot more by
saying nothing than you can byattempting to fill in empty
space.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
So I don't say a word , I ask them to give me a tour.
Well, what do you want to seefirst?
Not my, this isn't my turf whatdo you want me to see?
And I have them walk me around,and then I'll sit and I'll have
some conversations with theadministration, of course,
because it's important for me tohear from them what they
perceive is the actual problem.
(01:31):
And then when they tell me whatthey think the actual problem
is, I ask them again okay, sowhat's the actual problem?
And usually they give me kindof a weird look.
But I just told you what theactual problem is.
And when I ask it in that way,then I clarify and I say so
usually your first answer iswhat you think it is, the second
one is what you know it isExactly what's underneath the
(01:53):
face of it, right.
Right, and then we talk aboutthose things like in meaningful
ways.
So what is the actual problemthat you want to solve and in
what way do you think is best tosolve them?
And how are you going to knowwhen you have?
And then what's the plan forthe continuous improvement?
And you can't attack everysingle problem all at once.
(02:14):
You just simply can't.
And that, honestly, is whatleads to a lot of systems
failures.
We're trying to solve too manythings all at once without even
identifying what the root causeis.
Oftentimes, when we actually digway deep and actually analyze
what the root cause is, itusually centers on maybe one or
two main things and when youmake those one or two
(02:35):
adjustments, it will change therest of them.
Just like with plants right theright seed and the wrong soil
will never sprout right, Doesn'tmatter what it is.
It could be a perfect seed, butif you put it in the wrong soil
and it doesn't have theappropriate nutrients, you're
not watering it, you're notcultivating it, you're not doing
any of the things that itactually needs to be successful,
mainly because if I got it inthe wrong soil, it's not going
(02:56):
to grow when you take it and youdo put it in the correct soil,
and by that I mean you actuallysolve the right problem.
You have the right people inplace to actually help solve
that problem.
You've evaluated really theneed for solving that particular
problem and with what sense ofurgency.
You've determined how you'regoing to actually measure the
(03:18):
success of solving that problemand then what next.
That's how you actually makemeaningful change.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Now we're really getting to the solutions based
approach.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Okay, in the very Southern sense.
Now we're cooking with greasebecause ultimately, if you, if
you don't do those things,there's no point you could hire
me and you could pay me my fee.
But if you're not actuallywilling to do the work and get
real uncomfortable and havekinds of conversations with the
questions I'm going to ask, thenit's not going to make any
difference.
You've just spent your money todo what Like that.
(03:49):
It just doesn't, that doesn'tmake any sense, right, and I
mean sometimes that's what Ilook like on the inside to do.
Right, like, if you just wantto hand me some money, that's
fine.
But I would like for you toactually utilize what it is.
I'm telling you because it doeswork, not because I think it
does, because I know it does,and the reason that I'm saying
that it does is because I did it.
That's why I know it works.
(04:11):
So the ultimate piece of that,honestly, is first the
observation, then the meaningfulconversations and really
digging into what the rootcauses are and then setting an
appropriate plan of action.
That includes accountability,and the biggest piece with that
is accountability is notpunitive.
(04:31):
Accountability simply meansownership.
Okay, and not in a negativelight.
Who are the people who areinvested Really.
The ownership piece is actuallyinvestment and we also talk
about reframing language.
I also talk to school leadersabout let's not talk about
buy-in, because this isn't aused car right.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
That's not what you're trying to do.
You're not selling themanything.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Right?
You're not selling themanything.
You want their commitment.
Yeah, yeah, because when youbuy something, you can also
return it or never use it.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Oh, that's powerful, that's really powerful.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Right.
So when they're committed andthey understand the why and they
believe that you understand thewhy and that you're committed
to supporting them and by them Imean teachers, I mean students,
I mean families, communitymembers when they know that you
legitimately are committed justlike they are, they'll run
(05:22):
through a wall for you if youwant.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Well, now you have trust, you have bridges built,
you have avenues to get thingsdone and do things together in a
journey that you're takingtogether.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And that ultimately led to all of those culminating
things too.
Because we've mentioned the TEDTalks before, that was the kind
of thing that my parents had todo on their own.
They had to cultivate that kindof community and change those
mindsets from the outside asparents right and make their own
meaningful community and askthose same questions of
themselves and the people thatthey were ultimately helping
(05:59):
move along and understand whattheir role needed to be as a
parent of a child who isdifferently abled and where do
you go and who do you talk toand what things needed to be
done.
And then also being veryintentional about taking those
elements and giving them to usas well, which was the premise
of the first TED Talk that I didin North Carolina.
(06:21):
It was our family story and thebig three.
Ultimately, I had to narrow itdown to those three because
there's so many.
They left us with so much andI'm immensely grateful.
I'm absolutely in the positionthat I am in now because I had
them as parents.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Wow, I mean what incredibly loving, powerful,
strong and persistent parentsthat you had.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah they were yeah, yeah, yeah, both of them Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I'm sorry that you've lost them, but they've left you
with such great gifts andyou're a living testimony to
what they've poured into you andthat's beautiful and I'm sure
they're just so proud.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I believe so I believe I had gotten to.
No, it was just before I hadassumed the role as an assistant
principal that my father passedand then my mother passed the
year after him.
But they both of all of thethings that I had done in my
life.
I mean, I'm a veteran, I doneall of the things you know
(07:28):
imaginable for me, but the thingthat they were proudest of most
was that I was teacher.
Awesome of all these things.
I was like, seriously, all Ihad to do is go be a teacher, go
from the beginning.
I wish I had known yeah but no,honestly like that.
There were huge advocates foreducation, huge advocates for
equity, huge advocates forinclusivity and acceptance, like
(07:51):
they just were.
And so those pieces that theygave to me, combined with the
experiences I had in theclassroom particularly that last
one that I mentioned and thefaces that I had seen on some
of're supposed to be doing fortheir sibling, all of those
experiences culminated into meultimately telling that story
(08:25):
and outlining those top threethings that siblings need to
know in the event that they'regoing to become caregivers and
advocates Again, not arequirement for them to do so,
but it is really helpful forthem to know those pieces of
information.
And I would say, if there's ahuge takeaway from that talk, or
even from this one, as itpertains to empowering siblings
(08:48):
in that way, getting informedand staying informed are the
biggest takeaways.
They can take it, the siblingscan take it.
They need to know, and treatingit like a secret then makes it
as though their sibling, theirbrother or their sister is also
some secret and they aren't Nota secret.
Nope.
So having them as part of theconversation as early as you
(09:12):
feel comfortable is hugelyimportant, and letting them know
about those things that one daythey're ultimately going to be
responsible for, and lettingthem know that there are
communities out there, like withme and with another
organization called siblingswith a mission there's.
We're a bunch of siblings.
Yeah, I have different people,brothers and sisters, and you
(09:34):
know, I've they've seen the talktoo and they're like, oh my
gosh, it's like you were tellingour story, except my parents
didn't teach me any of thosethings Right, right, I want to
tell you that's so good.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
That's so good and you know I'm curious, from what
you know, what you'veexperienced, the collection of
information that can be passedfrom parents to siblings over
time, so it's not overwhelmingall at once.
Is there an approach that youknow of?
Can you kind of tell a littleabout, from your perspective,
what the best step into thatdirection?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
I would suggest that when, say, your differently
abled child is maybe lateelementary school, okay, and
they're getting ready to havethat transition meeting that's
supposed to happen at lateelementary school, going into
middle school.
I think that is a perfect time,if it hasn't already happened
before, to really explain toyour neurotypical children
(10:32):
what's going on.
So here's what I'm doing I'mgoing to this meeting for your
brother, for your sister, andwe're going to be talking about
some of their educational needs,so different supports that they
need to have in place for them.
They call those accommodationsRight, and they're just little
access points.
There's little ways for them tobe able to access the same
(10:53):
things that you are learning inyour class, but in a way that
makes it understandable for them, right, right, right, and give
them more things that gives themthe opportunity to access it
almost like you would be able to.
So we're going to talk aboutthose things.
We're going to talk about theirrights, which are the rules the
school has to follow and therules that apply to us as
(11:13):
parents, and when we learn moreabout those things, we're better
able to support your brother orsister in school and outside of
school.
So we're always going to talkabout some other things that we
can do at home and you can help.
So bringing them in at thatpoint is perfect.
If you have a neurotypicalsibling that is older and they
(11:37):
are farther along in school,then they're even more equipped
to be able to hear more of theinformation about it.
As dry as the proceduralsafeguards are, yes, read
through those.
If not, we'll get one of DrReed's videos where she breaks
down the idea.
Do you understand what Section504 is, what's the difference
(11:59):
and how?
But even still having thoseconversations with them and
being really open and honestabout what happened at each of
those meetings, so that theyknow and they understand, if
ever they have to stand in thegap for you, they're not walking
in blind, unsure of what to door what's even going on.
And then, at the school level,what would be really great is
(12:22):
when they know that they havesiblings, one that is
differently abled and one thatis neurotypical, having
opportunities for that siblingto be part of their sibling's
journey instead of isolated.
Oh well, we just want them tobe able to have a break.
What break?
They go home, don't they?
Yes, and they're siblings,don't they?
(12:42):
You don't just stop being asibling if you went to school
right.
Who knows that child better thantheir parent and their sibling?
Yes, and the sibling probablyeven knows them better than the
parent does.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
I can see that that is very true in a lot of
situations that I've seen.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Right is very true in a lot of situations that I've
seen, right, and so having thatopportunity to bring siblings
into the fold is great,especially in the school
environment.
Right, right, it's not aburdensome situation, and I
think we make those assumptionsabout what neurotypical siblings
can and can't handle becauseit's really rooted in more of a
guilt.
Yes, and I know that parentscarry such a heavy load, such a
(13:21):
heavy load.
Most of the time it is how am Igoing to get through today,
managing this new behavior thathas emerged that I wasn't even
prepared for?
How am I going to get throughtoday?
How am I going to be able toconnect with my spouse?
Or, if we're not together, howam I still going to be able to
co-parent with this personmeaningfully?
How am I going to be able toco-parent with this person
meaningfully, like, how am Igoing to be able to do that just
today?
I don't have time to thinkabout tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Well, that that whole you know part of the IEP
development system where you'reinto the transition plan and you
know it's the gloss overbecause I cannot see past today.
I can't see past just gettinghome and figuring out how we're
going to all get to bed on time,right?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Is someone going to eat tonight or not?
Yes, and is that just going tohave to be okay?
Speaker 1 (14:05):
But can't schools kind of help that process along?
You have so much information inyour IEP development process in
collaboration with parents,that you can be gathering
information.
And what are all those keys tothe differently abled sibling?
What are those keys that we allknow as a team that we can be
(14:26):
passing along gradually overtime in a systematic way so that
nobody's overwhelmed?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Right, that's really the biggest thing is the sharing
of information Huge when we'rewilling to do that and we're
willing to bring siblings intothe fold without assuming that
they can't, and especially inthat respect you give them the
opportunity to self-advocate Ican handle that, I can't handle
that or I can't handle that.
(14:53):
Yet when you give them theopportunity to speak up on
behalf of whether or not theycan or can't, then you know
what's most appropriate to beable to roll out to them and at
what time the financial pieces.
Probably not in elementaryschool, probably not we're
really not going to be lookingat a special education trust or
a special needs trust.
Rather, they're really notgoing to be doing that.
(15:13):
They're probably not reallygoing to be unpacking the
legalities of the Americans withDisabilities Act right.
So, realistically speaking,they don't necessarily need
those really important piecesthat they can utilize to be able
to not just advocate forthemselves but also on behalf of
(15:34):
their brother or sister,because they're also going to be
at school and they're going tosee some of the things that
maybe are off or aren't workingwell Before the parent ever does
For sure.
So the more they know and themore that they understand, the
better they're able to say hey,this is what I noticed At home.
We tried this the parent can'tbe there all school day, but the
(15:56):
sibling can.
And the parent can't be thereall school day, but the sibling
can.
And that's something that aschool counselor or a special
education coordinator who iswell-trained in being able to
navigate that kind of dynamiccan truly activate.
Even a special educationteacher, who also has a lot on
their plate, understands.
But when you're wanting toreally tap into who the student
(16:17):
is, what works, what doesn'twork, what makes them tick tap
their sibling?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
They know, siblings know, they know, and siblings
are going to have a differentsort of expectation of their
differently abled sibling thatother people teachers, parents
don't seem to come to as easily,right?
Sure, and I think empoweringvoices, empowering advocacy for
siblings is really strong Asking.
(16:43):
Would you like to participate,would you like to be added into
the mix here and giving themvoice to that?
It's so powerful.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
It is super powerful and I think that is an element
that really should beincorporated into our IEP
meetings and our 504 meetings.
I feel like, if it's possibleand the sibling is accessible,
why can't they sit on?
They're a family member theycan't sign off on any of the
paperwork.
But why wouldn't it beacceptable for them to know, hey
(17:16):
, my brother or sister needsextra time or reminders to stay
on task, or they need a scribe,or they need someone to modify
parts of the work by whateverpercentage and when it comes
back, at whatever percentage?
It's been modified it's goingto look like this so that they
can also partner with the parentin working on things that are
(17:39):
going on at school.
Maybe they're a different gradelevel, but they can still help
interpret some of those pieces.
Especially if it's an oldersibling with a younger,
differently abled sibling, theycan interpret some of those
pieces and be able to share someof the responsibility of
working with their siblinginstead of being isolated from
that.
That's so good.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Oh, Deshauna, this is such a wonderful conversation.
It's so rich to talk to you.
I mean, it's rare to get achance to talk to somebody that
understands the sibling'sperspective, and I just am
grateful to you for the timethat you're spending with me.
And I got to ask you one morequestion.
Take us back to that momentwhere you were late in the car
(18:21):
with the principal.
Tell me at that point whatadvice would you give yourself
when you just startedconsidering going into education
?
What piece of advice would yougive yourself?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
That's a really good one.
I've been thinking about thatone.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
What advice would I have given myself as as a
sibling, as a brand new teacherjust entering the field, what
would you say to yourself?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Don't question it.
Don't question it.
Do what's right because it'sright, not because it's
comfortable.
Wow, that's excellent.
I mean, I did that, but I wouldjust say, hey, put down really
Do that.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Keep doing it.
Yeah, wonderful.
Can I take a quick picture?
I'm gonna take a squash.
Let's do that.
So, friends, that's where ourconversation with Dr Deshauna
Reed comes to a close.
Don't forget those encouragingwords Keep doing it.
Keep up the great work thatyou're doing for your students
(19:24):
to reach toward higherexpectations and build on their
strengths.
Just do it, go for it, becollaborative, be hopeful and
hope-giving.
Our greatest hope is that youleave inspired and that you're
ready to continue to be thechampions in your own classroom
and with your own influence.
Until next time, champions, bewell and stay encouraged.
We will bring you anotherchampion in next week's episode.
(19:45):
Make sure you've subscribed sothat you don't miss out on more
inspiration from champions inthe field of special education.
Take care, we'll talk soon.
Hello friends, I'm glad you're here with us to pick
up part two of our conversationwith Dr Deshauna Reid.
If you missed last week'sepisode, be sure to listen to
that one, as she has so manygreat experiences and words of
wisdom to share with ourchampions of special education.
There's so much to gain fromlistening to her share her voice
and her perspective that wejust simply couldn't keep it to
(00:24):
just 15 minutes.
Every moment with Dr Deshawnais incredibly valuable, so let's
get back to it and jump righton in.
So I was going to ask you whatyour two or three main tools in
your toolbox.
When you go into a school, yougo into a conversation with
(00:45):
people in a consulting role.
What are those greatest toolsthat you use?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
That's a really great question.
The first thing that I do, ofcourse, after the introductions
and pleasantries is I get reallysilent.
Okay, just watch, because youcan learn a whole lot more by
saying nothing than you can byattempting to fill in empty
space.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
So I don't say a word , I ask them to give me a tour.
Well, what do you want to seefirst?
Not my, this isn't my turf whatdo you want me to see?
And I have them walk me around,and then I'll sit and I'll have
some conversations with theadministration, of course,
because it's important for me tohear from them what they
perceive is the actual problem.
(01:31):
And then when they tell me whatthey think the actual problem
is, I ask them again okay, sowhat's the actual problem?
And usually they give me kindof a weird look.
But I just told you what theactual problem is.
And when I ask it in that way,then I clarify and I say so
usually your first answer iswhat you think it is, the second
one is what you know it isExactly what's underneath the
(01:53):
face of it, right.
Right, and then we talk aboutthose things like in meaningful
ways.
So what is the actual problemthat you want to solve and in
what way do you think is best tosolve them?
And how are you going to knowwhen you have?
And then what's the plan forthe continuous improvement?
And you can't attack everysingle problem all at once.
(02:14):
You just simply can't.
And that, honestly, is whatleads to a lot of systems
failures.
We're trying to solve too manythings all at once without even
identifying what the root causeis.
Oftentimes, when we actually digway deep and actually analyze
what the root cause is, itusually centers on maybe one or
two main things and when youmake those one or two
(02:35):
adjustments, it will change therest of them.
Just like with plants right theright seed and the wrong soil
will never sprout right, Doesn'tmatter what it is.
It could be a perfect seed, butif you put it in the wrong soil
and it doesn't have theappropriate nutrients, you're
not watering it, you're notcultivating it, you're not doing
any of the things that itactually needs to be successful,
mainly because if I got it inthe wrong soil, it's not going
(02:56):
to grow when you take it and youdo put it in the correct soil,
and by that I mean you actuallysolve the right problem.
You have the right people inplace to actually help solve
that problem.
You've evaluated really theneed for solving that particular
problem and with what sense ofurgency.
You've determined how you'regoing to actually measure the
(03:18):
success of solving that problemand then what next.
That's how you actually makemeaningful change.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Now we're really getting to the solutions based
approach.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Okay, in the very Southern sense.
Now we're cooking with greasebecause ultimately, if you, if
you don't do those things,there's no point you could hire
me and you could pay me my fee.
But if you're not actuallywilling to do the work and get
real uncomfortable and havekinds of conversations with the
questions I'm going to ask, thenit's not going to make any
difference.
You've just spent your money todo what Like that.
(03:49):
It just doesn't, that doesn'tmake any sense, right, and I
mean sometimes that's what Ilook like on the inside to do.
Right, like, if you just wantto hand me some money, that's
fine.
But I would like for you toactually utilize what it is.
I'm telling you because it doeswork, not because I think it
does, because I know it does,and the reason that I'm saying
that it does is because I did it.
That's why I know it works.
(04:11):
So the ultimate piece of that,honestly, is first the
observation, then the meaningfulconversations and really
digging into what the rootcauses are and then setting an
appropriate plan of action.
That includes accountability,and the biggest piece with that
is accountability is notpunitive.
(04:31):
Accountability simply meansownership.
Okay, and not in a negativelight.
Who are the people who areinvested Really.
The ownership piece is actuallyinvestment and we also talk
about reframing language.
I also talk to school leadersabout let's not talk about
buy-in, because this isn't aused car right.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
That's not what you're trying to do.
You're not selling themanything.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Right?
You're not selling themanything.
You want their commitment.
Yeah, yeah, because when youbuy something, you can also
return it or never use it.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Oh, that's powerful, that's really powerful.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Right.
So when they're committed andthey understand the why and they
believe that you understand thewhy and that you're committed
to supporting them and by them Imean teachers, I mean students,
I mean families, communitymembers when they know that you
legitimately are committed justlike they are, they'll run
(05:22):
through a wall for you if youwant.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Well, now you have trust, you have bridges built,
you have avenues to get thingsdone and do things together in a
journey that you're takingtogether.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And that ultimately led to all of those culminating
things too.
Because we've mentioned the TEDTalks before, that was the kind
of thing that my parents had todo on their own.
They had to cultivate that kindof community and change those
mindsets from the outside asparents right and make their own
meaningful community and askthose same questions of
themselves and the people thatthey were ultimately helping
(05:59):
move along and understand whattheir role needed to be as a
parent of a child who isdifferently abled and where do
you go and who do you talk toand what things needed to be
done.
And then also being veryintentional about taking those
elements and giving them to usas well, which was the premise
of the first TED Talk that I didin North Carolina.
(06:21):
It was our family story and thebig three.
Ultimately, I had to narrow itdown to those three because
there's so many.
They left us with so much andI'm immensely grateful.
I'm absolutely in the positionthat I am in now because I had
them as parents.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Wow, I mean what incredibly loving, powerful,
strong and persistent parentsthat you had.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah they were yeah, yeah, yeah, both of them Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I'm sorry that you've lost them, but they've left you
with such great gifts andyou're a living testimony to
what they've poured into you andthat's beautiful and I'm sure
they're just so proud.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I believe so I believe I had gotten to.
No, it was just before I hadassumed the role as an assistant
principal that my father passedand then my mother passed the
year after him.
But they both of all of thethings that I had done in my
life.
I mean, I'm a veteran, I doneall of the things you know
(07:28):
imaginable for me, but the thingthat they were proudest of most
was that I was teacher.
Awesome of all these things.
I was like, seriously, all Ihad to do is go be a teacher, go
from the beginning.
I wish I had known yeah but no,honestly like that.
There were huge advocates foreducation, huge advocates for
equity, huge advocates forinclusivity and acceptance, like
(07:51):
they just were.
And so those pieces that theygave to me, combined with the
experiences I had in theclassroom particularly that last
one that I mentioned and thefaces that I had seen on some
of're supposed to be doing fortheir sibling, all of those
experiences culminated into meultimately telling that story
(08:25):
and outlining those top threethings that siblings need to
know in the event that they'regoing to become caregivers and
advocates Again, not arequirement for them to do so,
but it is really helpful forthem to know those pieces of
information.
And I would say, if there's ahuge takeaway from that talk, or
even from this one, as itpertains to empowering siblings
(08:48):
in that way, getting informedand staying informed are the
biggest takeaways.
They can take it, the siblingscan take it.
They need to know, and treatingit like a secret then makes it
as though their sibling, theirbrother or their sister is also
some secret and they aren't Nota secret.
Nope.
So having them as part of theconversation as early as you
(09:12):
feel comfortable is hugelyimportant, and letting them know
about those things that one daythey're ultimately going to be
responsible for, and lettingthem know that there are
communities out there, like withme and with another
organization called siblingswith a mission there's.
We're a bunch of siblings.
Yeah, I have different people,brothers and sisters, and you
(09:34):
know, I've they've seen the talktoo and they're like, oh my
gosh, it's like you were tellingour story, except my parents
didn't teach me any of thosethings Right, right, I want to
tell you that's so good.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
That's so good and you know I'm curious, from what
you know, what you'veexperienced, the collection of
information that can be passedfrom parents to siblings over
time, so it's not overwhelmingall at once.
Is there an approach that youknow of?
Can you kind of tell a littleabout, from your perspective,
what the best step into thatdirection?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
I would suggest that when, say, your differently
abled child is maybe lateelementary school, okay, and
they're getting ready to havethat transition meeting that's
supposed to happen at lateelementary school, going into
middle school.
I think that is a perfect time,if it hasn't already happened
before, to really explain toyour neurotypical children
(10:32):
what's going on.
So here's what I'm doing I'mgoing to this meeting for your
brother, for your sister, andwe're going to be talking about
some of their educational needs,so different supports that they
need to have in place for them.
They call those accommodationsRight, and they're just little
access points.
There's little ways for them tobe able to access the same
(10:53):
things that you are learning inyour class, but in a way that
makes it understandable for them, right, right, right, and give
them more things that gives themthe opportunity to access it
almost like you would be able to.
So we're going to talk aboutthose things.
We're going to talk about theirrights, which are the rules the
school has to follow and therules that apply to us as
(11:13):
parents, and when we learn moreabout those things, we're better
able to support your brother orsister in school and outside of
school.
So we're always going to talkabout some other things that we
can do at home and you can help.
So bringing them in at thatpoint is perfect.
If you have a neurotypicalsibling that is older and they
(11:37):
are farther along in school,then they're even more equipped
to be able to hear more of theinformation about it.
As dry as the proceduralsafeguards are, yes, read
through those.
If not, we'll get one of DrReed's videos where she breaks
down the idea.
Do you understand what Section504 is, what's the difference
(11:59):
and how?
But even still having thoseconversations with them and
being really open and honestabout what happened at each of
those meetings, so that theyknow and they understand, if
ever they have to stand in thegap for you, they're not walking
in blind, unsure of what to door what's even going on.
And then, at the school level,what would be really great is
(12:22):
when they know that they havesiblings, one that is
differently abled and one thatis neurotypical, having
opportunities for that siblingto be part of their sibling's
journey instead of isolated.
Oh well, we just want them tobe able to have a break.
What break?
They go home, don't they?
Yes, and they're siblings,don't they?
(12:42):
You don't just stop being asibling if you went to school
right.
Who knows that child better thantheir parent and their sibling?
Yes, and the sibling probablyeven knows them better than the
parent does.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
I can see that that is very true in a lot of
situations that I've seen.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Right is very true in a lot of situations that I've
seen, right, and so having thatopportunity to bring siblings
into the fold is great,especially in the school
environment.
Right, right, it's not aburdensome situation, and I
think we make those assumptionsabout what neurotypical siblings
can and can't handle becauseit's really rooted in more of a
guilt.
Yes, and I know that parentscarry such a heavy load, such a
(13:21):
heavy load.
Most of the time it is how am Igoing to get through today,
managing this new behavior thathas emerged that I wasn't even
prepared for?
How am I going to get throughtoday?
How am I going to be able toconnect with my spouse?
Or, if we're not together, howam I still going to be able to
co-parent with this personmeaningfully?
How am I going to be able toco-parent with this person
meaningfully, like, how am Igoing to be able to do that just
today?
I don't have time to thinkabout tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Well, that that whole you know part of the IEP
development system where you'reinto the transition plan and you
know it's the gloss overbecause I cannot see past today.
I can't see past just gettinghome and figuring out how we're
going to all get to bed on time,right?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Is someone going to eat tonight or not?
Yes, and is that just going tohave to be okay?
Speaker 1 (14:05):
But can't schools kind of help that process along?
You have so much information inyour IEP development process in
collaboration with parents,that you can be gathering
information.
And what are all those keys tothe differently abled sibling?
What are those keys that we allknow as a team that we can be
(14:26):
passing along gradually overtime in a systematic way so that
nobody's overwhelmed?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Right, that's really the biggest thing is the sharing
of information Huge when we'rewilling to do that and we're
willing to bring siblings intothe fold without assuming that
they can't, and especially inthat respect you give them the
opportunity to self-advocate Ican handle that, I can't handle
that or I can't handle that.
(14:53):
Yet when you give them theopportunity to speak up on
behalf of whether or not theycan or can't, then you know
what's most appropriate to beable to roll out to them and at
what time the financial pieces.
Probably not in elementaryschool, probably not we're
really not going to be lookingat a special education trust or
a special needs trust.
Rather, they're really notgoing to be doing that.
(15:13):
They're probably not reallygoing to be unpacking the
legalities of the Americans withDisabilities Act right.
So, realistically speaking,they don't necessarily need
those really important piecesthat they can utilize to be able
to not just advocate forthemselves but also on behalf of
(15:34):
their brother or sister,because they're also going to be
at school and they're going tosee some of the things that
maybe are off or aren't workingwell Before the parent ever does
For sure.
So the more they know and themore that they understand, the
better they're able to say hey,this is what I noticed At home.
We tried this the parent can'tbe there all school day, but the
(15:56):
sibling can.
And the parent can't be thereall school day, but the sibling
can.
And that's something that aschool counselor or a special
education coordinator who iswell-trained in being able to
navigate that kind of dynamiccan truly activate.
Even a special educationteacher, who also has a lot on
their plate, understands.
But when you're wanting toreally tap into who the student
(16:17):
is, what works, what doesn'twork, what makes them tick tap
their sibling?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
They know, siblings know, they know, and siblings
are going to have a differentsort of expectation of their
differently abled sibling thatother people teachers, parents
don't seem to come to as easily,right?
Sure, and I think empoweringvoices, empowering advocacy for
siblings is really strong Asking.
(16:43):
Would you like to participate,would you like to be added into
the mix here and giving themvoice to that?
It's so powerful.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
It is super powerful and I think that is an element
that really should beincorporated into our IEP
meetings and our 504 meetings.
I feel like, if it's possibleand the sibling is accessible,
why can't they sit on?
They're a family member theycan't sign off on any of the
paperwork.
But why wouldn't it beacceptable for them to know, hey
(17:16):
, my brother or sister needsextra time or reminders to stay
on task, or they need a scribe,or they need someone to modify
parts of the work by whateverpercentage and when it comes
back, at whatever percentage?
It's been modified it's goingto look like this so that they
can also partner with the parentin working on things that are
(17:39):
going on at school.
Maybe they're a different gradelevel, but they can still help
interpret some of those pieces.
Especially if it's an oldersibling with a younger,
differently abled sibling, theycan interpret some of those
pieces and be able to share someof the responsibility of
working with their siblinginstead of being isolated from
that.
That's so good.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Oh, Deshauna, this is such a wonderful conversation.
It's so rich to talk to you.
I mean, it's rare to get achance to talk to somebody that
understands the sibling'sperspective, and I just am
grateful to you for the timethat you're spending with me.
And I got to ask you one morequestion.
Take us back to that momentwhere you were late in the car
(18:21):
with the principal.
Tell me at that point whatadvice would you give yourself
when you just startedconsidering going into education
?
What piece of advice would yougive yourself?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
That's a really good one.
I've been thinking about thatone.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
What advice would I have given myself as as a
sibling, as a brand new teacherjust entering the field, what
would you say to yourself?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Don't question it.
Don't question it.
Do what's right because it'sright, not because it's
comfortable.
Wow, that's excellent.
I mean, I did that, but I wouldjust say, hey, put down really
Do that.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Keep doing it.
Yeah, wonderful.
Can I take a quick picture?
I'm gonna take a squash.
Let's do that.
So, friends, that's where ourconversation with Dr Deshauna
Reed comes to a close.
Don't forget those encouragingwords Keep doing it.
Keep up the great work thatyou're doing for your students
(19:24):
to reach toward higherexpectations and build on their
strengths.
Just do it, go for it, becollaborative, be hopeful and
hope-giving.
Our greatest hope is that youleave inspired and that you're
ready to continue to be thechampions in your own classroom
and with your own influence.
Until next time, champions, bewell and stay encouraged.
We will bring you anotherchampion in next week's episode.
(19:45):
Make sure you've subscribed sothat you don't miss out on more
inspiration from champions inthe field of special education.
Take care, we'll talk soon.
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