July 21, 2025 • 30 mins
In this episode of Fatherhood Unscripted, we sit down with Pastor Dauda Presley of Connection Church in Las Vegas for a raw, faith-filled conversation about fatherhood, faith, emotional health, and breaking generational cycles.We dive into the difference between a warrior mentality and a soldier mentality in parenting. Warriors fight for themselves—driven by pride, ego, and self-preservation. Soldiers fight for their families, their communities, and the next generation. As dads, we’re called to be soldiers who put our children first, show them love, and create safe spaces where they can see and express emotions in a healthy way.Dauda opens up about his own journey—from being emotionally shut down, quick to anger, and living with a “warrior” mindset, to learning vulnerability, compassion, and how to intentionally love his sons—even as grown men. He shares how therapy, faith, and God’s grace helped him transform his approach to fatherhood, breaking cycles and modeling healthy emotional expression for his family.We also talk about Philippians 2:3–4, which says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” It’s a clear biblical call to shift from selfishness to humility—from being warriors for ourselves to soldiers for the people we love.If you're a dad who wants to break the cycle of anger, be more present, and model emotional health for your children, this conversation is for you.Fatherhood Unscripted is a podcast and community for real dads talking about real life, faith, mental health, and personal growth. We believe in having the hard conversations, sharing our failures and victories, and encouraging each other to become better fathers, husbands, and men of God.➡️ Subscribe for more honest conversations about Christian fatherhood, biblical parenting, men’s mental health, and faith-based leadership in the home.🎧 Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.🔔 Don’t forget to hit the bell so you never miss an episode!➡️ Connect with Pastor Dauda Presley: https://www.instagram.com/iamdaudapresley/Connection Church Las Vegas: https://myconnectionlv.org/Join us on this journey of faith and fatherhood. Don’t do this alone. We’re building this together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to Fatherhood Unscripted.
Today we're talking with Pastor Dowd of Presley about the
difference between being a warrior and a soldier.
As a dad, warriors fight for themselves.
Soldiers fight for their families.
We'll dive into breaking cycles,embracing emotions, and leading
with faith and humility. Let's get into.
It all right what's going on everybody?
(00:21):
Fatherhood Unscripted is back for another episode and we have
a special guest. He is going to be talking about
his relationship with God and how that's helped him to be a
great dad and a great pastor. Without further ado, welcome
Donna Presley. Awful, man.
(00:43):
Hey, thank you guys for being up, having me up on here, man.
It's a it's a pleasure and honor, honestly.
I mean, you guys could have anybody, man.
And so I pray that I give something that's worthwhile.
Definitely we're honored to haveyou.
I know so if everybody that's listening if you don't know DJ
was actually on data show how they came out like what a month
(01:04):
ago ish now about. A month or two ago, yeah.
And so there's we've, we've known data for about, I don't
know, four or five months now kind of back and forth and just
love what he's about. Wanted to have John.
Well, First off, just how's your, how's your week been?
How's How's the summer been? Man, week's been good, you know,
(01:25):
you know, it's, it's interesting, right?
We always talk about we spent good, you know, but we don't, we
never talk about like the the intricate aspects of things
that's going on in the week, youknow, So it's like week has been
as good as it can be. You know, it's one of those
deals is, you know, as you kind of go through life, you know,
like kind of bring certain things.
And so like the one thing that we're that we're really me and
my wife are pushing through a lot right now is her health, you
(01:47):
know. So it's one of those deals where
although it's like, you know, the week's been good, you know,
it's been challenging at the same time, you know what I mean?
And so, but other than that, I mean, you know, we can sit here
and say God is on the throne because he 100% is, you know,
but I will also say that he's given, he's given me and my wife
this trip to actually make it through the week, you know, with
our heads held high, you know, I'm saying knowing that, you
(02:08):
know, a this too shall come to an end at some point, you know
what I mean? But but yeah, no, man, it's,
it's been good, you know, can't complain about it or what not.
But yeah, I know, man. You know, life is life
sometimes. Life is life sometimes.
No, I definitely like what you said.
Just you're right. Like we just, we'll, we'll
(02:29):
summarize our week. Oh, yeah, I guess it's been
good. But we don't get into what have
we actually gone through? And then we start thinking about
it. You're like, and actually, I
don't know if I'm good. Like I, I think it was a
challenging week. You start, you ask yourself,
like, was it a week? Because I I remember this, this
and this and I don't know, I guess I just need a lot of
prayer. Pray for me, please.
(02:51):
Yeah. So that's good.
No, I I like that. Just really thinking about all
the stuff that you went through in the week and really just put
yourself in the moment. Because to your point, when
somebody asks you how you doing,the first thing that comes out
of your mouth most times for most people.
Oh, I'm good. How about you?
Yeah. And then and then you get, you
(03:12):
get, you get the Christians who will say, ah, blessed and highly
favored. OK, that's like, OK, you're
like, all right, well, all right.
So and I, you know, you could beblessed and Ali fair.
I I get it. And but we just have these
sayings that we say without eventhinking if we're actually.
(03:33):
Good, yeah. And so, yeah, no, I, no, I
definitely appreciate. We try to make ourselves feel
good, you know, about what is actually going on, you know, and
so we try to say the the good words, the positive words, you
know, the, you know, the speaking things out to, you
know, to where we we kind of negate what we're going through,
(03:53):
you know, and you think, man, God never negates what we're
going through. It's just one of those deals
that our focus shouldn't solely be on what we're going through,
you know, and I think I think that's the part, you know, it's
like, I like to ask me, you know, how you doing?
Like, oh, man, I'm good. And it's like, well, what does
good look like? You know what I mean?
It's like like explained like because my good and your good
could be two different things, you know.
So it's like, let's tell me, letme in on what your good is, you
(04:14):
know. And so, you know, for me, I like
to like, you know, it was good. However, you know, there were
some, some challenges during theweek, you know, but it's one of
those deals that we sit here andsay good and we negate the
challenges. Then I would say, you know, we,
we negate the opportunity to letsomebody know how we've grown
through the week too, You know, I mean, so yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely not what you focus on for sure.
(04:38):
Yeah, man, so. Like that's a gift we can give
our kids if we can open up like that and be more wordy and
expression more put more expression into things instead
of just like I'm good that came in.
That's kind of what was put on us.
That's why it's our our go to, you know, And so that's why as
(04:58):
as dads, we're, we're here to fix that and change things and
make sure our kids ain't going to Oh, I'm good.
Yeah. You know, I think, you know, we
as fathers, we have the opportunity to really change the
vocabulary of our children. And being able to change the
vocabulary of our children, we're able to let them know
like, OK, you can express yourself.
And there's a healthy way of expressing yourself.
(05:20):
You know, I think that's the biggest part is, you know, we as
men, we find ourselves healthy. We're able to have the healthy
dialogue. We're able to have the healthy
conversations. And so then we're able to teach
our children, especially our sons, you know, what it looks
like to, to have, to be a healthy man of a healthy,
healthy vocabulary, you know, and, and, and looking to live
this, this healthy life at the same time, you know, And so
(05:43):
knowing that, you know, just like in life, you have moments
where you might be ill, you might have surprises, you might
have, you know, breaks in which we would call breakups,
whatever, you know, we can have all these various things in
life. The same thing happens in, in,
you know, say the mental aspect of the vocabulary that we can
actually teach our, our sons, you know, our daughters, you
know, even much more daughters, right?
(06:03):
It's like they, they learn what it looks like to have a healthy
man, you know, one that's able to articulate what they're
feeling, how they're feeling, you know, and why they're
feeling it, you know, and also to knowing the time and place
when to actually articulate those things, you know?
So, yeah, I know, man. You guys are spot on, bro.
I love what you guys are doing, man.
I love what you guys are doing, man.
(06:24):
Is, is, is having these healthy dialogues and these challenging
dialogues too, you know, really getting into the hearts of men
and, and, and, and seeing what, what actually blossoms out of
it, you know, so I love what youguys are doing, really building
a community of, of men that's looking to be better fathers,
you know, not perfect fathers, but better fathers, you know, so
(06:45):
I appreciate the work that you guys are doing, man.
I mean, I know God is, is reallyutilizing you and I'll be proud.
I've been praying for you guys, man, and, and, and hoping that,
you know, the dogs become a lot more, a lot more profound to
where people are. The men are kind of grasping,
you know, like, oh, man, kind oflike we were talking about
before. DJ is like, you know, I'm not
(07:06):
alone, you know, and, and since I'm not alone and going through
this right here, there's other men that I could kind of lean
on, you know, to receive something I didn't have before.
So man, thank you guys for what is you're doing as well.
Yeah, yeah. That that is our biggest thing
just because we didn't even knowuntil we started doing this.
We started meeting other dads like, Oh my gosh, I guess we're
all going through very similar challenges throughout life.
(07:31):
When you add kids to the equation, and I mean, because we
can all agree to this, like whenyou get married, that
intensifies the issues that you weren't dealing with.
And then when you have kids, if you still didn't deal with those
issues, it gets even more profound that those are there.
And if you don't fix it, you're going to destroy your marriage,
(07:53):
you're going to destroy the nextgeneration.
And then the cycle continues where you were broken, now
you've broken your kids, and thekids live their life broken.
And then somebody's got to say, enough is enough.
I want to live this healthy lifethat God has for me.
Come on bro and. So how do I, how do I get there?
And so, yeah, no, just yeah. Not being, not being alone.
(08:16):
And we also know that if Satan can get us alone, he's basically
won it, right? Because you don't believe
everything that he tells you because you're alone and you
don't have any way to speak intoyour life.
Well, you know, so that's that'skind of why we've done things.
So I appreciate the kind words. And yeah, we do feel like God is
using US in that way. And I liked how you said just
(08:38):
being that role model, the beinga healthy version of yourself.
So your sons know what a healthyman looks like and your
daughters know what a safe like place looks like for them
because you can create this unsafe environment for your kids
and they don't want to express any emotions around dad because
if you do, you don't know how he's going to react.
So if you want to talk through some of that, how did you get to
(09:00):
that place of just living out a healthy life so that you are the
best version you could be for your children?
That best example. Man, I would sit here and say
I'm still trying, you know, I'm still, I'm still looking to
become that, that very healthierversion of myself.
You know, I will say, you know, I think some people, especially
(09:25):
men, we don't like to ask for help, you know, And I mean, you
know, when I saw, when I was in the military, man, I struggled
both towards the last bit of my career and it was such a
struggle to where like I lost, you know, when we say, hey, you
know, you go through things, youget divorced, man, this is my
second marriage, you know, that I'm, I'm currently in, you know,
and man, my first one, bro, I, Idestroyed it, bro.
(09:46):
I was not a healthy man at all, you know, coming from my
childhood all the way to my adulthood, you know, you could
be winning in regards to your profession, but you can be
losing in regards to the personal aspect of who you are,
you know? And so that was, that was my
story, bro. I was winning professionally,
you know, but I was losing, you know, personally.
(10:07):
And so it was one of those dealsmedic counseling, bro, to be
honest with you, I think I was in, I was in therapy for about 3
years, you know, and, and I learned a lot about myself and
it even much more just about like the, the thought that the
actual like thought process of, of just how we think as people.
You know, I would sit there and say, you know, my therapist I'm
at, she was a, she was very, shewas intentional in what she was
(10:32):
doing. You know, she, she actually
talked to me and told me like, OK, This is why we're doing
this. So I was sitting and saying that
the Lord blessed me with having a therapist that was like really
intimate with everything. And then also to, she was, she
was, she was explaining everything.
I, she went and the best part about it was she was a believer
too. So you think being in the
(10:53):
military, getting a military therapist and and a Christian
too. Well, like you, just, you just
don't get that, you know what I mean?
And so I knew that, you know, kind of coming out of it,
looking back, you know, in the midst of it, had no idea looking
back when I'm like, you know, what God, like you, you were,
you were actually after the mental health of me, you know,
even when I wasn't, you know, And so it was just one of those
(11:15):
deals that, you know, as I kind of really begin to heal, you
know, and and really begin to understand the my thought
patterns, you know, my emotionalat my emotional stability and
instability. At the same time, you know, as I
was coming into that, it was oneof those deals where I was
learning how to be a better father.
You know, of course, at first I was like, you know, sons cries,
(11:36):
like, you know, why are you crying or should you shouldn't
be crying? You know, kind of man up if you
would, you know, and then I'll learn, you know, no, it's
actually, it's actually a healthy thing for for my sons to
be able to cry, you know, and meallowed him cry, you know, and
then kind of come and hug him and kiss him on the forehead,
you know, I mean, you're talking, you know, my sons, you
(11:56):
know, our our youngest son. He today is actually his
birthday. So I'm not sure when this airs,
but man, today's is actually hisbirthday.
And so it's one of those deals where, you know, be able to hug
him. And here he is 23 and I'm able
to kiss him on his forehead. You know, our oldest is 27.
Hug him, kiss him on his forehead and say, I love you,
you know, and it's one of those deals where they're not like
(12:16):
thrown off by it. You know, our our middle son,
you know, he's what, 25? Hug him on his forehead, kiss
him. And it's like they're like, like
kiss on the forehead. I'm like, I love you, you know,
as I'm holding their face and looking at them like dead square
in the eyes, you know, it's like, I love you.
I'm so proud of you, you know, And it was there where I learned
that, you know, being able to, to show, especially my sons,
(12:39):
what it looks like to, to love on your sons and a healthy
manner to where you, they feel safe, they feel heard and even
much more, they feel seen, you know.
And so it's one of those deals that when you, when you, when
you have all those come together, you know, you're able
to create an environment that you never thought was possible,
(13:01):
you know, and I, it took it honestly.
I mean, you know, I would say, man, it took me failing, you
know, a bunch of times, you know, but even much more having
other men around me that spoke into my life to, to help me
become just a better man for myself.
And it was there that I learned to be a better father.
(13:22):
I think me and you, DJ, we talked about up on the show is,
you know, I grew up without a father.
So I didn't know what it was like to be a son.
And here I am a father. And I think that's where a lot
of the struggle is that we become fathers before we became
a son, because some of us never knew what it was like to be a
son to a father. We may have known what it'd like
to be a son to a mother, which is totally different.
(13:43):
But being a being a son to a father man, it's that's
something that that we all need,especially as men, you know.
And so I was one of those deals that, you know, God began to put
people and men in my life to really help me develop as a man.
And it even. And so you think now I have a
spiritual father, man. He is, his name is Steve.
And I love him to death, bro. And he's like, I think he's
(14:05):
about to turn 70, right? He's been married longer, almost
as long as I've been alive, you know, and I'm 46 and here he is.
He's almost been married that long.
He's been walking with a God like as almost as old as I am,
you know, and, and even having him, having him in my life,
He's, he's taught me how, what it like, what it, what's, what
it looks like to be a man of humility and of true humility.
(14:30):
You know, and that begin that begin to just kind of just
really just flood into how I am as a man, how I am as a husband,
then how I am as a father. And so it was just, it's just
interesting. Is that that's how it kind of
went, bro. It's like, you know, I, I failed
first. Fortunately, you know, and that
that doesn't have to be the story for all men because of
like what you guys are doing here, you know, somebody can
(14:52):
grab this and it's like, you know, from whatever.
So you guys do. And it's like, Oh man, you know
what I was thinking about doing that, you know, this guy is
saying, Hey, I tried it and it failed.
It's like, I may not want to do that, you know.
And so it was just one of those deals.
I think if we were to kind of, if we look at the men that we
have around us and we take something from each one, I
(15:15):
believe that it, when we do thatwe're, the Lord allows us to,
to, to, to, he's building us from the community that we find
ourselves in, you know, and I think that's, that's the part
we, we as men, we always do thislone wolf thing.
We always say, I'm a warrior andstuff.
But I mean, I, I, I dropped the warrior thing and picked up the,
(15:35):
the, the, I guess you could say the word of soldier, you know,
because warriors is someone who fights for themselves.
So when you fight for yourselves, you're going to
damage everybody else. And so you think when I was kind
of coming up as a young father and even older, I was a warrior
father, right? And so I was kind of damaging my
children, but then when I pickedup this, this, and I understood
(15:56):
the difference between the warrior and soldier being even
being in the military for 20 years, it's like it was one of
those like I still, it didn't click right.
And, and, and when it did, it became it was because I looked
at the definition and soldier isone that fights for the masses,
that this, the soldier is the one that's about community.
The soldier is the one that's about is humble.
(16:17):
The soldier is the one that's about the preservation of
everyone else. A warrior is one that's about
his self preservation. And so when I began to look at
that, I was like, you know, what?
Do I want to create my sons to be warriors or do I want to
create them to be soldiers? And it was one of those deals
that when I did it, I learned a soldiers also has compassion.
(16:40):
And I learned a lot more how to be compassionate to my son.
So yeah, man, I know. So it's a whole bunch of so much
more. But.
No, it's good and I think it's Ithink it's funny you say that
because like there's so many we were talking with this with a
Joe from I love you bro project couple weeks ago.
Like just the negativity people put out in the world when they
(17:02):
don't even think about it. Like there's so many warrior
spirits or like I got to be a warrior mentality in the world.
And like, like you just said, like people don't think through
that and see what it actually means or that I'm just doing
everything for myself at the endof the day.
Like that's not what we're about.
Like we're building our community.
And that's exactly what do you want to be where we want to
(17:23):
surround ourselves with men thatare like that versus men were
like, Oh, I'm top alpha dog man.You know, like we're OK.
Like if we want to come alongside Jesus and be like
Jesus, he wept. Like, I don't think it is like a
lot of people don't understand that, you know, like it's, it's
always well, it's girly to cry. Like, no, it's not like it's,
it's healthy and it's going to show your kids a healthy
(17:45):
lifestyle. And I love that.
That soldier thing. We're going to use that somehow,
Yeah. For for real, bro.
I mean, you think that that's the part, you know, we, we, we
all see the movie Braveheart. We all see these various movies
like, you know, it's like warrior and it's like, but when
you go to the gospel, Paul, he begins to he, he's like, Oh,
(18:09):
well, let's look at the, the, the, the armor of a Roman
soldier, not warrior along alongwith soldier.
And he's like, yeah. And guess what?
A soldier is not concerned aboutcivilian affairs.
He's only concerned about the one who will listen to him.
So you think even in the gospel,you start seeing all, you start
really seeing this, this word pop up over and over and over
(18:31):
again. And and if God is saying it,
then there has to be something for us as men to kind of grasp
on too. Hey guys, before we keep going,
I want you to take a second and think about this.
My emotions don't make me weak, they make me aware.
That's what we're talking about today.
It's not about shutting down howyou feel, it's about
(18:51):
understanding it so you can leadyour family well.
So you be the soldier your kids need, not just a warrior
fighting for yourself. If this is hitting home for you,
make sure to subscribe and don'tmiss these conversations and
share this with another dad who needs to hear it.
Let's keep growing together. Yeah, definitely.
(19:11):
And just it reminds me of something and this just pops my
head. But like, you know, you ask
somebody, yeah, I would 100% to die for my family.
But then you ask him, are you willing to live for them though?
Because dying is 1 moment. Living for them is multiple
(19:33):
moments over and over and over again.
And it's you choosing them and it's you prioritizing them and
it's you valuing them. Are you willing to choose them
every day? And I feel like the the warrior
just wants to go out and wants to go fight and he's willing to
die. He doesn't care, you know, and
the soldiers looking out for everybody around them, Like I
(19:55):
want to live. Like I want to help defend you.
I want to help like, you know, protect you.
I want to, you know, I want to live.
And you know, yeah, it's just, it's, yeah, I just something
that popped in my head, like I heard somebody say, you know,
are you, you, you're wanting to die from them, but are you
wanting to live for them? Yeah, and.
You know, a couple things that you said too.
I just wanted to highlight you said your therapist talks to you
(20:17):
through your thoughts. And honestly, your thoughts are
what you focus on, right? So if you think to yourself as
you're driving into work, you spill your coffee on your lap,
whatever, this is how my day's going to be, it's just going to
be bad. So everything from that point on
that actually points or actuallyproves you right, you're going
(20:37):
to see because that's what you're focusing on.
That's what your thoughts are focusing on.
And if you're constantly negative about yourself, I'm a
terrible dad. I'm this, I'm that, what is
your, your focus? It's going to be right on those
things. And that's why the Bible says to
take every thought captive. Yeah, you know, like, is this
coming from God or is this coming from my flesh?
(21:01):
I need to go, go to God and say,OK, God, how do you see me?
And that's what my focus needs to be on.
And you talked about that too, the focus, right?
Focus not being on your situation, but let's focus on
what God is doing. Let's just like, you know, on
the water. Let's just, well, he just lost
focus, right? He stopped looking at Jesus and
(21:22):
he fell into the water. And what what happened?
Just stay focused on me. That's all God's saying like
just stay focused on me. I got you where you are short
are you fall short and where youwill.
And you talked about failure, you will fail, no doubt.
It's what you do with that failure.
Do you learn from it or do you let it define you?
(21:42):
Because if you let it define you, then that's how you're
going to be for the rest of yourlife.
Yeah. So, yeah.
And then another thing you said,there's emotions and kind of
where they're coming from. I remember one time I was at a
front desk. I was working in the front desk.
This is my early on in my careerin hospitality.
And this guy said to me, what's so funny?
(22:04):
Because I had smart, He was, he was way drunk.
And it was like, it was like it was just funny to me.
OK, so I just, I, I couldn't help myself.
My facial expression showed thatthis situation is hilarious,
right? And so I smirk and he's like,
what's so funny? And I went from having this like
humor to all of a sudden my blood pressure rose and I felt
(22:28):
this anger and my whole dynamic changed.
And so I asked myself like, OK, I, I don't, I don't know where
this is coming from. Once I realized that my dad said
that to me, What's so funny? And he said it in an angry tone.
(22:50):
From that moment on, when somebody says that to me, it
immediately triggers this emotion, this little DJ that,
you know, felt this and it, you know, caused me to have the
emotion that I did. And so like, one last thing.
Like the one thing somebody saidto me is emotions are like the
(23:11):
check engine light. When you're driving your car and
the check engine light comes on,that usually tells you to go get
your car checked. It's like emotions.
When emotions happen, you have to stop and ask yourself, what's
going on with me? Is it about this moment or is it
about something else? And so I don't know if you want
to talk about that further. Like as you started to learn
about your thoughts and like as you started to go through this,
(23:35):
like how did you stop yourself in moments and learn from those
and just kind of dive into it and say, OK, I got to get to a
healthy spot. I don't know where this is
coming from, but I got to figureit out.
Yeah, no. So I love what you said and I
and there's something that you, that, that you, there's a word
you said. And my, my therapist talked
about it. And I, and I tell this to
people, you know, quite often is, is the emotion of anger,
(23:59):
right? The what, the way that my
therapist explained to me was anger is not an emotion.
Anger is an outward expression of a true emotion, right?
And So what happens is when we feel like you said, Hey, my I
feel my blood pressure going because The thing is like I
walked around as a what we call an angry man.
You mean like, you know, man, dude, I was like, I was that,
(24:20):
that, that I, I had a short fusefor everything, bro.
Like I have this one. We had my wife can tell you this
one story, but she was like, Oh my gosh.
And it happened at the, in the, in the valet of Excalibur, not
towards her, but towards somebody else, right?
Short fuse I had. And but glory to God, man, he's
been so good. Like not my fuse.
It's much longer than what it was.
But The thing is, is that anger,the way it was explained to me
(24:42):
was anger is not a true emotion.Anger is a, is an outward
expression of a true emotion. So like, for instance, you were
like, Hey, man, you know when you suck, when you kind of
thought about what was going on,Why did I, why did my blood
pressure go up? You're like, you know what, it
was a younger DJ. And so The thing is, is that it
was like, well, were you did, did you feel disrespected?
Did you feel unsafe? Like did you feel was like
(25:02):
because you were hurt before? Like, so like all of that is
actually now anger becomes this,this protective measure, if you
would, for ourselves to make sure we had this self
preservation, you know, And so that that was one thing that I
had to learn was that OK, because now I feel, I feel this,
I feel this, this kind of rage kind of right, coming up inside
of me. OK, what's going, going like was
(25:25):
I just do I feel disrespected and do I feel hurt?
You know, do I, do I do I feel unsafe?
And so I had to begin to look atthose things.
And once I started looking, I was like, OK, I don't have to
respond like this. And so then I was like, well,
you know what? I'm not going to allow someone
to cause me to act out of character because that's not my
character. So that's not who I'm looking to
(25:45):
become. So now it became like this, this
transcending thing that was really above me.
But what I really looked at it was that, you know what Holy
Spirit was really working to to to give me a a better Kingdom
character, you know, a better character, because then I began
to like you said, you're going to take every thought captor.
I begin to analyze my emotions. You know, am I successful at all
(26:07):
time? Absolutely not, right, But I, I
really try to, to really exemplify this on a consistent
basis. You know, so sometimes like
something gets out be like, that's, that's kind of
interesting, you know, and, and so now it's like, OK, back when
I, when I say that out loud, what I'm saying to myself is
without a, what's going on inside of you, Let's talk about
(26:29):
this. And then now as I begin to kind
of converse with myself, then I begin to analyze the voices.
Is it me? Is it the devil, you know?
Is it old voices from my past? Or is this you got, you know,
because when we think about it in our head, every voice sounds
exactly the same. The only way they were able to
determine who is who. It's kind of like, you know,
does it, does it match up with this right here, you know,
(26:51):
doesn't match up with the gospel, doesn't match up with
the gospel. Then Hey, I might want, I might,
I might even reject this, you know what I mean?
So that's, that's kind of how it, how things went, bro, as far
as the, the analyzing of the thoughts and, and, and kind of
sitting back in and, and lookingat my emotions.
Because now I refuse to allow myemotions to be a playground that
(27:12):
the devil's able to get up on the sea.
So I wouldn't go and make me go up and down, be able to kind of
sit there and be on a merry go round going around in circles,
you know, and then be able to just swing me back and forth.
Like, bro, I'm, I'm not sure. I'm not my emotions and my
mentor is not your playground, bro.
Like, so that's something that Ireally go after as well, bro.
So yeah. That's a That's a cool way of
looking at it. I'm still the kid at heart, man.
(27:37):
I'm still the kid at heart. And we got to be, because that's
that's what makes life fun, right?
Yeah, man. Yeah.
We take ourselves too serious. We'll be, we'll be too serious
with everybody. Well, as we as we kind of come
upon time here and we kind of wrap things, we couple
questions. Well, First off, thank you for
coming on speaking and just pouring into men and community.
(28:00):
Can people find that you if theywant to look you up?
But yeah, man, so, well, first, you know, you can always find me
over at the church. So Connection Church LB, you can
find us on all the various social medias and everything you
know. And then also to our website at
my connectionlb.org. You can e-mail me
donnapresley34@gmail.com. You can e-mail
(28:21):
thechurchconnectionchurchlb@gmail.com.You know, so whichever way now
you know, we're we're here. Mom also too, you can contact
CTN and you can get a hold of methat way.
That's a Christian television network like you've talked
about. I'm able to I had the pleasure
of hosting a show up over there by the name of Las Vegas United.
And so we just going to see whatGod has in store for the future
(28:42):
of all that as well, man. So yeah, that's how you can get
a hold of me and I love to just talk to whoever.
Awesome. Before we go and we just wrap
things up, I did have a Bible verse.
I felt like kind of went with today's talk.
Spliffians 2334 says do nothing out of selfless ambition, but in
(29:03):
humility. Value others above yourselves.
And that's kind of like the call, like what we're talking
about. Instead of having that warrior
mindset, you need to have a soldier mindset.
Come back. Show your kids your emotions.
Show them that we can love, thatwe can cry.
And that's going to build them to be, especially our sons, to
be better men. In the long run, yeah.
So Dada, thank you. Thank you guys man.
(29:26):
Thank you. Much appreciated.
Yeah. And yeah, if you guys, if
anything has resonated with you on this episode and you're not
already subscribing to Fatherhood Unscripted, go ahead
and subscribe. Hit the like button, leave a
comment on Apple podcast, Spotify, Spotify podcast,
(29:47):
YouTube. It goes a long way to get us in
front of people who need this just like you.
And so we appreciate Donna from coming on.
We appreciate the wisdom that hebrought and we'll see you guys
in the next episode.
Welcome back to Fatherhood Unscripted.
Today we're talking with Pastor Dowd of Presley about the
difference between being a warrior and a soldier.
As a dad, warriors fight for themselves.
Soldiers fight for their families.
We'll dive into breaking cycles,embracing emotions, and leading
with faith and humility. Let's get into.
It all right what's going on everybody?
(00:21):
Fatherhood Unscripted is back for another episode and we have
a special guest. He is going to be talking about
his relationship with God and how that's helped him to be a
great dad and a great pastor. Without further ado, welcome
Donna Presley. Awful, man.
(00:43):
Hey, thank you guys for being up, having me up on here, man.
It's a it's a pleasure and honor, honestly.
I mean, you guys could have anybody, man.
And so I pray that I give something that's worthwhile.
Definitely we're honored to haveyou.
I know so if everybody that's listening if you don't know DJ
was actually on data show how they came out like what a month
(01:04):
ago ish now about. A month or two ago, yeah.
And so there's we've, we've known data for about, I don't
know, four or five months now kind of back and forth and just
love what he's about. Wanted to have John.
Well, First off, just how's your, how's your week been?
How's How's the summer been? Man, week's been good, you know,
(01:25):
you know, it's, it's interesting, right?
We always talk about we spent good, you know, but we don't, we
never talk about like the the intricate aspects of things
that's going on in the week, youknow, So it's like week has been
as good as it can be. You know, it's one of those
deals is, you know, as you kind of go through life, you know,
like kind of bring certain things.
And so like the one thing that we're that we're really me and
my wife are pushing through a lot right now is her health, you
(01:47):
know. So it's one of those deals where
although it's like, you know, the week's been good, you know,
it's been challenging at the same time, you know what I mean?
And so, but other than that, I mean, you know, we can sit here
and say God is on the throne because he 100% is, you know,
but I will also say that he's given, he's given me and my wife
this trip to actually make it through the week, you know, with
our heads held high, you know, I'm saying knowing that, you
(02:08):
know, a this too shall come to an end at some point, you know
what I mean? But but yeah, no, man, it's,
it's been good, you know, can't complain about it or what not.
But yeah, I know, man. You know, life is life
sometimes. Life is life sometimes.
No, I definitely like what you said.
Just you're right. Like we just, we'll, we'll
(02:29):
summarize our week. Oh, yeah, I guess it's been
good. But we don't get into what have
we actually gone through? And then we start thinking about
it. You're like, and actually, I
don't know if I'm good. Like I, I think it was a
challenging week. You start, you ask yourself,
like, was it a week? Because I I remember this, this
and this and I don't know, I guess I just need a lot of
prayer. Pray for me, please.
(02:51):
Yeah. So that's good.
No, I I like that. Just really thinking about all
the stuff that you went through in the week and really just put
yourself in the moment. Because to your point, when
somebody asks you how you doing,the first thing that comes out
of your mouth most times for most people.
Oh, I'm good. How about you?
Yeah. And then and then you get, you
(03:12):
get, you get the Christians who will say, ah, blessed and highly
favored. OK, that's like, OK, you're
like, all right, well, all right.
So and I, you know, you could beblessed and Ali fair.
I I get it. And but we just have these
sayings that we say without eventhinking if we're actually.
(03:33):
Good, yeah. And so, yeah, no, I, no, I
definitely appreciate. We try to make ourselves feel
good, you know, about what is actually going on, you know, and
so we try to say the the good words, the positive words, you
know, the, you know, the speaking things out to, you
know, to where we we kind of negate what we're going through,
(03:53):
you know, and you think, man, God never negates what we're
going through. It's just one of those deals
that our focus shouldn't solely be on what we're going through,
you know, and I think I think that's the part, you know, it's
like, I like to ask me, you know, how you doing?
Like, oh, man, I'm good. And it's like, well, what does
good look like? You know what I mean?
It's like like explained like because my good and your good
could be two different things, you know.
So it's like, let's tell me, letme in on what your good is, you
(04:14):
know. And so, you know, for me, I like
to like, you know, it was good. However, you know, there were
some, some challenges during theweek, you know, but it's one of
those deals that we sit here andsay good and we negate the
challenges. Then I would say, you know, we,
we negate the opportunity to letsomebody know how we've grown
through the week too, You know, I mean, so yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely not what you focus on for sure.
(04:38):
Yeah, man, so. Like that's a gift we can give
our kids if we can open up like that and be more wordy and
expression more put more expression into things instead
of just like I'm good that came in.
That's kind of what was put on us.
That's why it's our our go to, you know, And so that's why as
(04:58):
as dads, we're, we're here to fix that and change things and
make sure our kids ain't going to Oh, I'm good.
Yeah. You know, I think, you know, we
as fathers, we have the opportunity to really change the
vocabulary of our children. And being able to change the
vocabulary of our children, we're able to let them know
like, OK, you can express yourself.
And there's a healthy way of expressing yourself.
(05:20):
You know, I think that's the biggest part is, you know, we as
men, we find ourselves healthy. We're able to have the healthy
dialogue. We're able to have the healthy
conversations. And so then we're able to teach
our children, especially our sons, you know, what it looks
like to, to have, to be a healthy man of a healthy,
healthy vocabulary, you know, and, and, and looking to live
this, this healthy life at the same time, you know, And so
(05:43):
knowing that, you know, just like in life, you have moments
where you might be ill, you might have surprises, you might
have, you know, breaks in which we would call breakups,
whatever, you know, we can have all these various things in
life. The same thing happens in, in,
you know, say the mental aspect of the vocabulary that we can
actually teach our, our sons, you know, our daughters, you
know, even much more daughters, right?
(06:03):
It's like they, they learn what it looks like to have a healthy
man, you know, one that's able to articulate what they're
feeling, how they're feeling, you know, and why they're
feeling it, you know, and also to knowing the time and place
when to actually articulate those things, you know?
So, yeah, I know, man. You guys are spot on, bro.
I love what you guys are doing, man.
I love what you guys are doing, man.
(06:24):
Is, is, is having these healthy dialogues and these challenging
dialogues too, you know, really getting into the hearts of men
and, and, and, and seeing what, what actually blossoms out of
it, you know, so I love what youguys are doing, really building
a community of, of men that's looking to be better fathers,
you know, not perfect fathers, but better fathers, you know, so
(06:45):
I appreciate the work that you guys are doing, man.
I mean, I know God is, is reallyutilizing you and I'll be proud.
I've been praying for you guys, man, and, and, and hoping that,
you know, the dogs become a lot more, a lot more profound to
where people are. The men are kind of grasping,
you know, like, oh, man, kind oflike we were talking about
before. DJ is like, you know, I'm not
(07:06):
alone, you know, and, and since I'm not alone and going through
this right here, there's other men that I could kind of lean
on, you know, to receive something I didn't have before.
So man, thank you guys for what is you're doing as well.
Yeah, yeah. That that is our biggest thing
just because we didn't even knowuntil we started doing this.
We started meeting other dads like, Oh my gosh, I guess we're
all going through very similar challenges throughout life.
(07:31):
When you add kids to the equation, and I mean, because we
can all agree to this, like whenyou get married, that
intensifies the issues that you weren't dealing with.
And then when you have kids, if you still didn't deal with those
issues, it gets even more profound that those are there.
And if you don't fix it, you're going to destroy your marriage,
(07:53):
you're going to destroy the nextgeneration.
And then the cycle continues where you were broken, now
you've broken your kids, and thekids live their life broken.
And then somebody's got to say, enough is enough.
I want to live this healthy lifethat God has for me.
Come on bro and. So how do I, how do I get there?
And so, yeah, no, just yeah. Not being, not being alone.
(08:16):
And we also know that if Satan can get us alone, he's basically
won it, right? Because you don't believe
everything that he tells you because you're alone and you
don't have any way to speak intoyour life.
Well, you know, so that's that'skind of why we've done things.
So I appreciate the kind words. And yeah, we do feel like God is
using US in that way. And I liked how you said just
(08:38):
being that role model, the beinga healthy version of yourself.
So your sons know what a healthyman looks like and your
daughters know what a safe like place looks like for them
because you can create this unsafe environment for your kids
and they don't want to express any emotions around dad because
if you do, you don't know how he's going to react.
So if you want to talk through some of that, how did you get to
(09:00):
that place of just living out a healthy life so that you are the
best version you could be for your children?
That best example. Man, I would sit here and say
I'm still trying, you know, I'm still, I'm still looking to
become that, that very healthierversion of myself.
You know, I will say, you know, I think some people, especially
(09:25):
men, we don't like to ask for help, you know, And I mean, you
know, when I saw, when I was in the military, man, I struggled
both towards the last bit of my career and it was such a
struggle to where like I lost, you know, when we say, hey, you
know, you go through things, youget divorced, man, this is my
second marriage, you know, that I'm, I'm currently in, you know,
and man, my first one, bro, I, Idestroyed it, bro.
(09:46):
I was not a healthy man at all, you know, coming from my
childhood all the way to my adulthood, you know, you could
be winning in regards to your profession, but you can be
losing in regards to the personal aspect of who you are,
you know? And so that was, that was my
story, bro. I was winning professionally,
you know, but I was losing, you know, personally.
(10:07):
And so it was one of those dealsmedic counseling, bro, to be
honest with you, I think I was in, I was in therapy for about 3
years, you know, and, and I learned a lot about myself and
it even much more just about like the, the thought that the
actual like thought process of, of just how we think as people.
You know, I would sit there and say, you know, my therapist I'm
at, she was a, she was very, shewas intentional in what she was
(10:32):
doing. You know, she, she actually
talked to me and told me like, OK, This is why we're doing
this. So I was sitting and saying that
the Lord blessed me with having a therapist that was like really
intimate with everything. And then also to, she was, she
was, she was explaining everything.
I, she went and the best part about it was she was a believer
too. So you think being in the
(10:53):
military, getting a military therapist and and a Christian
too. Well, like you, just, you just
don't get that, you know what I mean?
And so I knew that, you know, kind of coming out of it,
looking back, you know, in the midst of it, had no idea looking
back when I'm like, you know, what God, like you, you were,
you were actually after the mental health of me, you know,
even when I wasn't, you know, And so it was just one of those
(11:15):
deals that, you know, as I kind of really begin to heal, you
know, and and really begin to understand the my thought
patterns, you know, my emotionalat my emotional stability and
instability. At the same time, you know, as I
was coming into that, it was oneof those deals where I was
learning how to be a better father.
You know, of course, at first I was like, you know, sons cries,
(11:36):
like, you know, why are you crying or should you shouldn't
be crying? You know, kind of man up if you
would, you know, and then I'll learn, you know, no, it's
actually, it's actually a healthy thing for for my sons to
be able to cry, you know, and meallowed him cry, you know, and
then kind of come and hug him and kiss him on the forehead,
you know, I mean, you're talking, you know, my sons, you
(11:56):
know, our our youngest son. He today is actually his
birthday. So I'm not sure when this airs,
but man, today's is actually hisbirthday.
And so it's one of those deals where, you know, be able to hug
him. And here he is 23 and I'm able
to kiss him on his forehead. You know, our oldest is 27.
Hug him, kiss him on his forehead and say, I love you,
you know, and it's one of those deals where they're not like
(12:16):
thrown off by it. You know, our our middle son,
you know, he's what, 25? Hug him on his forehead, kiss
him. And it's like they're like, like
kiss on the forehead. I'm like, I love you, you know,
as I'm holding their face and looking at them like dead square
in the eyes, you know, it's like, I love you.
I'm so proud of you, you know, And it was there where I learned
that, you know, being able to, to show, especially my sons,
(12:39):
what it looks like to, to love on your sons and a healthy
manner to where you, they feel safe, they feel heard and even
much more, they feel seen, you know.
And so it's one of those deals that when you, when you, when
you have all those come together, you know, you're able
to create an environment that you never thought was possible,
(13:01):
you know, and I, it took it honestly.
I mean, you know, I would say, man, it took me failing, you
know, a bunch of times, you know, but even much more having
other men around me that spoke into my life to, to help me
become just a better man for myself.
And it was there that I learned to be a better father.
(13:22):
I think me and you, DJ, we talked about up on the show is,
you know, I grew up without a father.
So I didn't know what it was like to be a son.
And here I am a father. And I think that's where a lot
of the struggle is that we become fathers before we became
a son, because some of us never knew what it was like to be a
son to a father. We may have known what it'd like
to be a son to a mother, which is totally different.
(13:43):
But being a being a son to a father man, it's that's
something that that we all need,especially as men, you know.
And so I was one of those deals that, you know, God began to put
people and men in my life to really help me develop as a man.
And it even. And so you think now I have a
spiritual father, man. He is, his name is Steve.
And I love him to death, bro. And he's like, I think he's
(14:05):
about to turn 70, right? He's been married longer, almost
as long as I've been alive, you know, and I'm 46 and here he is.
He's almost been married that long.
He's been walking with a God like as almost as old as I am,
you know, and, and even having him, having him in my life,
He's, he's taught me how, what it like, what it, what's, what
it looks like to be a man of humility and of true humility.
(14:30):
You know, and that begin that begin to just kind of just
really just flood into how I am as a man, how I am as a husband,
then how I am as a father. And so it was just, it's just
interesting. Is that that's how it kind of
went, bro. It's like, you know, I, I failed
first. Fortunately, you know, and that
that doesn't have to be the story for all men because of
like what you guys are doing here, you know, somebody can
(14:52):
grab this and it's like, you know, from whatever.
So you guys do. And it's like, Oh man, you know
what I was thinking about doing that, you know, this guy is
saying, Hey, I tried it and it failed.
It's like, I may not want to do that, you know.
And so it was just one of those deals.
I think if we were to kind of, if we look at the men that we
have around us and we take something from each one, I
(15:15):
believe that it, when we do thatwe're, the Lord allows us to,
to, to, to, he's building us from the community that we find
ourselves in, you know, and I think that's, that's the part
we, we as men, we always do thislone wolf thing.
We always say, I'm a warrior andstuff.
But I mean, I, I, I dropped the warrior thing and picked up the,
(15:35):
the, the, I guess you could say the word of soldier, you know,
because warriors is someone who fights for themselves.
So when you fight for yourselves, you're going to
damage everybody else. And so you think when I was kind
of coming up as a young father and even older, I was a warrior
father, right? And so I was kind of damaging my
children, but then when I pickedup this, this, and I understood
(15:56):
the difference between the warrior and soldier being even
being in the military for 20 years, it's like it was one of
those like I still, it didn't click right.
And, and, and when it did, it became it was because I looked
at the definition and soldier isone that fights for the masses,
that this, the soldier is the one that's about community.
The soldier is the one that's about is humble.
(16:17):
The soldier is the one that's about the preservation of
everyone else. A warrior is one that's about
his self preservation. And so when I began to look at
that, I was like, you know, what?
Do I want to create my sons to be warriors or do I want to
create them to be soldiers? And it was one of those deals
that when I did it, I learned a soldiers also has compassion.
(16:40):
And I learned a lot more how to be compassionate to my son.
So yeah, man, I know. So it's a whole bunch of so much
more. But.
No, it's good and I think it's Ithink it's funny you say that
because like there's so many we were talking with this with a
Joe from I love you bro project couple weeks ago.
Like just the negativity people put out in the world when they
(17:02):
don't even think about it. Like there's so many warrior
spirits or like I got to be a warrior mentality in the world.
And like, like you just said, like people don't think through
that and see what it actually means or that I'm just doing
everything for myself at the endof the day.
Like that's not what we're about.
Like we're building our community.
And that's exactly what do you want to be where we want to
(17:23):
surround ourselves with men thatare like that versus men were
like, Oh, I'm top alpha dog man.You know, like we're OK.
Like if we want to come alongside Jesus and be like
Jesus, he wept. Like, I don't think it is like a
lot of people don't understand that, you know, like it's, it's
always well, it's girly to cry. Like, no, it's not like it's,
it's healthy and it's going to show your kids a healthy
(17:45):
lifestyle. And I love that.
That soldier thing. We're going to use that somehow,
Yeah. For for real, bro.
I mean, you think that that's the part, you know, we, we, we
all see the movie Braveheart. We all see these various movies
like, you know, it's like warrior and it's like, but when
you go to the gospel, Paul, he begins to he, he's like, Oh,
(18:09):
well, let's look at the, the, the, the armor of a Roman
soldier, not warrior along alongwith soldier.
And he's like, yeah. And guess what?
A soldier is not concerned aboutcivilian affairs.
He's only concerned about the one who will listen to him.
So you think even in the gospel,you start seeing all, you start
really seeing this, this word pop up over and over and over
(18:31):
again. And and if God is saying it,
then there has to be something for us as men to kind of grasp
on too. Hey guys, before we keep going,
I want you to take a second and think about this.
My emotions don't make me weak, they make me aware.
That's what we're talking about today.
It's not about shutting down howyou feel, it's about
(18:51):
understanding it so you can leadyour family well.
So you be the soldier your kids need, not just a warrior
fighting for yourself. If this is hitting home for you,
make sure to subscribe and don'tmiss these conversations and
share this with another dad who needs to hear it.
Let's keep growing together. Yeah, definitely.
(19:11):
And just it reminds me of something and this just pops my
head. But like, you know, you ask
somebody, yeah, I would 100% to die for my family.
But then you ask him, are you willing to live for them though?
Because dying is 1 moment. Living for them is multiple
(19:33):
moments over and over and over again.
And it's you choosing them and it's you prioritizing them and
it's you valuing them. Are you willing to choose them
every day? And I feel like the the warrior
just wants to go out and wants to go fight and he's willing to
die. He doesn't care, you know, and
the soldiers looking out for everybody around them, Like I
(19:55):
want to live. Like I want to help defend you.
I want to help like, you know, protect you.
I want to, you know, I want to live.
And you know, yeah, it's just, it's, yeah, I just something
that popped in my head, like I heard somebody say, you know,
are you, you, you're wanting to die from them, but are you
wanting to live for them? Yeah, and.
You know, a couple things that you said too.
I just wanted to highlight you said your therapist talks to you
(20:17):
through your thoughts. And honestly, your thoughts are
what you focus on, right? So if you think to yourself as
you're driving into work, you spill your coffee on your lap,
whatever, this is how my day's going to be, it's just going to
be bad. So everything from that point on
that actually points or actuallyproves you right, you're going
(20:37):
to see because that's what you're focusing on.
That's what your thoughts are focusing on.
And if you're constantly negative about yourself, I'm a
terrible dad. I'm this, I'm that, what is
your, your focus? It's going to be right on those
things. And that's why the Bible says to
take every thought captive. Yeah, you know, like, is this
coming from God or is this coming from my flesh?
(21:01):
I need to go, go to God and say,OK, God, how do you see me?
And that's what my focus needs to be on.
And you talked about that too, the focus, right?
Focus not being on your situation, but let's focus on
what God is doing. Let's just like, you know, on
the water. Let's just, well, he just lost
focus, right? He stopped looking at Jesus and
(21:22):
he fell into the water. And what what happened?
Just stay focused on me. That's all God's saying like
just stay focused on me. I got you where you are short
are you fall short and where youwill.
And you talked about failure, you will fail, no doubt.
It's what you do with that failure.
Do you learn from it or do you let it define you?
(21:42):
Because if you let it define you, then that's how you're
going to be for the rest of yourlife.
Yeah. So, yeah.
And then another thing you said,there's emotions and kind of
where they're coming from. I remember one time I was at a
front desk. I was working in the front desk.
This is my early on in my careerin hospitality.
And this guy said to me, what's so funny?
(22:04):
Because I had smart, He was, he was way drunk.
And it was like, it was like it was just funny to me.
OK, so I just, I, I couldn't help myself.
My facial expression showed thatthis situation is hilarious,
right? And so I smirk and he's like,
what's so funny? And I went from having this like
humor to all of a sudden my blood pressure rose and I felt
(22:28):
this anger and my whole dynamic changed.
And so I asked myself like, OK, I, I don't, I don't know where
this is coming from. Once I realized that my dad said
that to me, What's so funny? And he said it in an angry tone.
(22:50):
From that moment on, when somebody says that to me, it
immediately triggers this emotion, this little DJ that,
you know, felt this and it, you know, caused me to have the
emotion that I did. And so like, one last thing.
Like the one thing somebody saidto me is emotions are like the
(23:11):
check engine light. When you're driving your car and
the check engine light comes on,that usually tells you to go get
your car checked. It's like emotions.
When emotions happen, you have to stop and ask yourself, what's
going on with me? Is it about this moment or is it
about something else? And so I don't know if you want
to talk about that further. Like as you started to learn
about your thoughts and like as you started to go through this,
(23:35):
like how did you stop yourself in moments and learn from those
and just kind of dive into it and say, OK, I got to get to a
healthy spot. I don't know where this is
coming from, but I got to figureit out.
Yeah, no. So I love what you said and I
and there's something that you, that, that you, there's a word
you said. And my, my therapist talked
about it. And I, and I tell this to
people, you know, quite often is, is the emotion of anger,
(23:59):
right? The what, the way that my
therapist explained to me was anger is not an emotion.
Anger is an outward expression of a true emotion, right?
And So what happens is when we feel like you said, Hey, my I
feel my blood pressure going because The thing is like I
walked around as a what we call an angry man.
You mean like, you know, man, dude, I was like, I was that,
(24:20):
that, that I, I had a short fusefor everything, bro.
Like I have this one. We had my wife can tell you this
one story, but she was like, Oh my gosh.
And it happened at the, in the, in the valet of Excalibur, not
towards her, but towards somebody else, right?
Short fuse I had. And but glory to God, man, he's
been so good. Like not my fuse.
It's much longer than what it was.
But The thing is, is that anger,the way it was explained to me
(24:42):
was anger is not a true emotion.Anger is a, is an outward
expression of a true emotion. So like, for instance, you were
like, Hey, man, you know when you suck, when you kind of
thought about what was going on,Why did I, why did my blood
pressure go up? You're like, you know what, it
was a younger DJ. And so The thing is, is that it
was like, well, were you did, did you feel disrespected?
Did you feel unsafe? Like did you feel was like
(25:02):
because you were hurt before? Like, so like all of that is
actually now anger becomes this,this protective measure, if you
would, for ourselves to make sure we had this self
preservation, you know, And so that that was one thing that I
had to learn was that OK, because now I feel, I feel this,
I feel this, this kind of rage kind of right, coming up inside
of me. OK, what's going, going like was
(25:25):
I just do I feel disrespected and do I feel hurt?
You know, do I, do I do I feel unsafe?
And so I had to begin to look atthose things.
And once I started looking, I was like, OK, I don't have to
respond like this. And so then I was like, well,
you know what? I'm not going to allow someone
to cause me to act out of character because that's not my
character. So that's not who I'm looking to
(25:45):
become. So now it became like this, this
transcending thing that was really above me.
But what I really looked at it was that, you know what Holy
Spirit was really working to to to give me a a better Kingdom
character, you know, a better character, because then I began
to like you said, you're going to take every thought captor.
I begin to analyze my emotions. You know, am I successful at all
(26:07):
time? Absolutely not, right, But I, I
really try to, to really exemplify this on a consistent
basis. You know, so sometimes like
something gets out be like, that's, that's kind of
interesting, you know, and, and so now it's like, OK, back when
I, when I say that out loud, what I'm saying to myself is
without a, what's going on inside of you, Let's talk about
(26:29):
this. And then now as I begin to kind
of converse with myself, then I begin to analyze the voices.
Is it me? Is it the devil, you know?
Is it old voices from my past? Or is this you got, you know,
because when we think about it in our head, every voice sounds
exactly the same. The only way they were able to
determine who is who. It's kind of like, you know,
does it, does it match up with this right here, you know,
(26:51):
doesn't match up with the gospel, doesn't match up with
the gospel. Then Hey, I might want, I might,
I might even reject this, you know what I mean?
So that's, that's kind of how it, how things went, bro, as far
as the, the analyzing of the thoughts and, and, and kind of
sitting back in and, and lookingat my emotions.
Because now I refuse to allow myemotions to be a playground that
(27:12):
the devil's able to get up on the sea.
So I wouldn't go and make me go up and down, be able to kind of
sit there and be on a merry go round going around in circles,
you know, and then be able to just swing me back and forth.
Like, bro, I'm, I'm not sure. I'm not my emotions and my
mentor is not your playground, bro.
Like, so that's something that Ireally go after as well, bro.
So yeah. That's a That's a cool way of
looking at it. I'm still the kid at heart, man.
(27:37):
I'm still the kid at heart. And we got to be, because that's
that's what makes life fun, right?
Yeah, man. Yeah.
We take ourselves too serious. We'll be, we'll be too serious
with everybody. Well, as we as we kind of come
upon time here and we kind of wrap things, we couple
questions. Well, First off, thank you for
coming on speaking and just pouring into men and community.
(28:00):
Can people find that you if theywant to look you up?
But yeah, man, so, well, first, you know, you can always find me
over at the church. So Connection Church LB, you can
find us on all the various social medias and everything you
know. And then also to our website at
my connectionlb.org. You can e-mail me
donnapresley34@gmail.com. You can e-mail
(28:21):
thechurchconnectionchurchlb@gmail.com.You know, so whichever way now
you know, we're we're here. Mom also too, you can contact
CTN and you can get a hold of methat way.
That's a Christian television network like you've talked
about. I'm able to I had the pleasure
of hosting a show up over there by the name of Las Vegas United.
And so we just going to see whatGod has in store for the future
(28:42):
of all that as well, man. So yeah, that's how you can get
a hold of me and I love to just talk to whoever.
Awesome. Before we go and we just wrap
things up, I did have a Bible verse.
I felt like kind of went with today's talk.
Spliffians 2334 says do nothing out of selfless ambition, but in
(29:03):
humility. Value others above yourselves.
And that's kind of like the call, like what we're talking
about. Instead of having that warrior
mindset, you need to have a soldier mindset.
Come back. Show your kids your emotions.
Show them that we can love, thatwe can cry.
And that's going to build them to be, especially our sons, to
be better men. In the long run, yeah.
So Dada, thank you. Thank you guys man.
(29:26):
Thank you. Much appreciated.
Yeah. And yeah, if you guys, if
anything has resonated with you on this episode and you're not
already subscribing to Fatherhood Unscripted, go ahead
and subscribe. Hit the like button, leave a
comment on Apple podcast, Spotify, Spotify podcast,
(29:47):
YouTube. It goes a long way to get us in
front of people who need this just like you.
And so we appreciate Donna from coming on.
We appreciate the wisdom that hebrought and we'll see you guys
in the next episode.
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