February 24, 2025 • 51 mins
Pastor Jason Smith leads this breakout session at DNow 2025: Changed, "What If I Miss God's Will?"
In this bonus podcast episode, Pastor Jason Smith shares how major life decisions can feel overwhelming, but understanding how to navigate them with faith and reason can bring clarity and peace. This episode discusses practical steps for making choices, including consulting scripture, using logic, seeking wise counsel, and surrendering our motives to God.
• Exploring types of major life decisions
• Understanding biblical guidance in decision-making
• The importance of logical reasoning in choices
• Seeking counsel from trusted mentors
• Surrendering personal motives to God
• Placing your 'yes' on the table for God's guidance
• Finding peace during the decision-making process
• Balancing parental expectations and personal choices
• Trusting God's presence in the journey of life
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The topic is how do you make major life decisions?
So we're going to pray, thenwe're going to jump into it.
Okay, heavenly Father, we thankyou for this day.
I pray right now in Jesus' name, that you would give us clarity
of thought, that you wouldallow students to be able to ask
important questions of whatthey're facing, the fears that
(00:21):
we have faced with a lot of thedecisions.
I know that there is a decisionfatigue.
There are so many options infront of us that it can be very
scary.
And so, father, we pray rightnow in Jesus name, that your
spirit would give us a clarityas we communicate.
In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
Okay.
So, again, interactive, you askquestions.
(00:43):
I'm I'm going to give you somekind of step-by-step things that
, pastorally, I would want youto be able to walk through.
So let's first ask the questionwhat sort of decisions?
When you heard this title how tomake major life decisions and
you were like good, I want toshow up for that one.
(01:05):
What sorts of decisions are youfacing that are in the back of
your mind, that you're likeplease, god, do not let me mess
this up, all right, okay, inwhat way?
Like I'm in college right now.
So just think about like thefuture, like what I want to do,
(01:25):
kind of like what path?
Okay, how do I find that pathof like what's what's the right
job?
Okay, others, what kind ofcollege you're gonna go to?
What college to go to?
Is that on anyone's mind?
Okay, I know?
Uh, what about even even theselines?
(01:46):
I know that, as a freshmangoing into Bernie High School,
you have to choose a path.
Like, good grief, I wasn'tthinking about anything geared
towards the future as a freshman, all I was thinking about was
sports, and you make me choose apath that I'm supposed to kind
(02:09):
of sort through.
Yeah, we're wrestling that withmy oldest right now.
Okay, that can cause a lot offear.
Like, oh my gosh, I chose theauto path and now I got in here
and I don't want this.
I'm stuck.
I'm so far behind.
How am I going to catch up?
Am I speaking to anyone?
(02:30):
You feel that it's already sohot in here?
I'm going to tell them.
All right, give me some moreexamples.
Garrett, it's hot in here.
We need air.
Someone, someone around here,make it cooler, all right?
(02:51):
Yes, ma'am, a lot of us aregoing to college next year.
I guess decisions on churchgroups to join communities.
Inviting communities, yeah,excellent, good, praying that
the Lord opens up those rightfriendship groups.
Okay, so here's just some ofthe ones I listed out.
Right Career choice what collegedo I go to?
(03:13):
How do I know what job to takeand whom should I marry?
You guys may be a little youngfor that, but it starts to get
real serious, real quick,especially when you're in
college.
I know, as you get on the backrow, all right, and you start
thinking about, oh, my goodness,is this the right person?
Can I marry them?
Ah, that's for the rest of yourlife.
(03:36):
What if I marry the wrongperson?
Oh, how horrible.
You just kind of stuck, okay, um, we're going to take, I'm going
to give you, uh, a handful of,uh, uh, kind of step-by-step
walkthrough.
But again, interaction, youinteracting with me, you asking
(03:59):
questions, uh, cause, what I'mgoing to give you, I I prepared
this long time ago, dealing withcollege students who are asking
these sorts of questions.
We're going to open the doors.
It's way too hot, just tellthem, you guys.
You guys be quiet because it'shot.
Yes, do whatever you can.
(04:22):
Yes, yeah, I'll take anything.
I don't preach to a hot room.
They drop like flies.
Okay, um, so again, interactionas we walk through it.
So I had a handful of decisionsin mind and I prepared this for
(04:45):
college students as, as they'refacing these major life
decisions, so kind of somestep-by-step, easy things to
knock out up front.
All right, the first, firststep Okay, you're going to write
this down in your notes.
We must ask ourselves what doesthe Bible say about it?
And if the Bible gives clearinstruction, you know what we do
(05:11):
, you do it.
Oh, that was nice and easy,right?
I know that there are timeswhen you want to really pray
about it and think maybe Godwill give me a different answer.
But if the Bible has spokenclearly about it, guess what?
I'll tell you a secret.
(05:32):
You don't even have to prayabout it.
You just do it because God'salready spoken.
All right, so if it's like,should I do something
inappropriate with my boyfriendor girlfriend and there's
pressure there, guess what?
You don't have to pray about it.
(05:53):
The answer is no.
Okay, now you can pray that theLord would give you outs and
help you in temptation and takethings a different way, but you
don't have to pray.
God, do you really want me todo this?
You already know the answer tothat Okay, so if the Bible
speaks, clearly, done.
(06:14):
Now there are situations wherethere are competing issues
you'll deal with this in ethicswhenever you get to college uh,
where there are competing issuesand you have to make a decision
.
Okay, and how do you do that?
So a classic example, and thisis a true example If you've ever
(06:36):
read Corrie ten booms thehiding place.
So they're a Dutch family thatis hiding Jews.
They're Christian, but they'rehiding Jews because the Nazis
are killing all the Jews.
Okay, and they're hiding Jewsin their house, and they
actually have.
They've.
They've carved out a section,uh, under their floor and uh, so
(06:57):
that they can get underneaththeir hardwood floors.
It's a removable spot.
And then they throw the rugover it in the table, okay, and
Nazis come in one day and askthe question to the family are
there any Jews in here?
What do you do?
What does the Bible say aboutlying?
(07:24):
Huh, lying's bad.
So what do you do?
See, there's a paradox.
There's competing evil outcomes.
Now, in this particular story,true story, corrie Ten Boom and
her entire household, entirehousehold.
(07:45):
They, of course, say nothing.
They say, of course, there'snot Jews here, but Corey's
sister I can't remember her nameoff the top of my head, corey's
sister felt so convicted thatshe should not lie that she
burst out in the moment thereare Jews hiding underneath the
table.
And then the Nazis go over touh, look under the table and she
(08:13):
burst out in uncontrollablelaughter, nervous laughter, and
they ended up thinking thatshe's uh messing with them and
they turn around and leave.
And then afterwards everyonehad choice words for sister.
Right, they were like what iswrong with you?
Okay, all right.
So a little complexity to.
(08:34):
Sometimes there are competingdesires.
What I would tell you in thatsituation?
Right, there are, there aregreater evils and you should
choose the lesser evil wheneverthere's complexity.
Okay, let's keep moving, allright.
Second thing Okay, uh, as you'remaking difficult life decisions
, as you're trying to figure outwhat college do I go to, what
(08:57):
career path, guess what I knowit's on the board Use your brain
.
Did you know that that'sspiritual?
Did you know that God gave youa brain on purpose, so that you
would reason?
Most of the time, god is goingto use natural means to open and
(09:23):
close doors in your life, andthat is through using your brain
, figuring out certain thingsthat you are gifted at figuring
out certain things that you liketo do, that you have aptitude
to do.
So God has given you naturaltalent, he's given you certain
abilities, okay, and all of thatis good, really really good,
(09:49):
okay, so I'm going to give you atest case, as we kind of go
through this.
When I was coming out of collegeat A&M, I had three different
job opportunities, okay and um,I'd gone through, got my civil
engineering degree and, comingout interviewed, uh, through the
(10:09):
school, I got three differentjob opportunities.
Uh, two of them were in Dallasand one of them was in Fort
Worth.
My I'm from Dallas, my family,my parents lived in Dallas at
the time, my sister in Dallas,and so two were in Dallas, one
was in Fort Worth.
And I, like many of you withdecision fatigue or overload,
(10:30):
was really really afraid of whatif I choose the wrong job and
just mess up the path that theLord has for me for the rest of
my life?
I'm on the wrong path and I'vejust messed this whole thing up.
I chose, I chose the wrong job.
Now here I am.
God had this path for me and,by the way, this path led to
(10:54):
just amazing things, justblessings of the Lord and the
perfect wife and family, andeverything was going to be great
if I chose this path, but thisone, that's the wrong one.
It's kind of like a game show,like you chose the wrong door.
Behind that door is a chairwith a bunch of porcupine quills
sticking out of it.
Okay, stinks for you, butthat's what you did.
(11:15):
Now you sit in it.
Okay, so I have these threejobs and that'll be kind of the
test case.
So here, as I'm trying tochoose between three jobs, there
was nothing biblical about,like the Bible didn't say choose
this job or not that job.
Right, that would have beennice, but it doesn't.
So then we move to.
All right, so use your brain.
(11:36):
So I suggest using a T chartthat has pros and cons, what's
positive about this place,what's negative about that place
and start listing these thingsout.
Okay, by the way, again, youneed to hear me as your pastor
saying what I'm about to say.
This is spiritual.
God created you to use yourbrain.
(11:58):
That is a good thing, okay, soI listed out well, the one that
was in Fort Worth is furtheraway from my parents, so that
that one, like well, that onegoes down on the list, and then
there are other things about thejob, okay, um, and then just
kind of list out there's goodparts of this company, good
parts of that company, okay, soyou use your brain.
Next, seek wise counsel.
(12:21):
Okay, what do you guys think Imean by seek wise counsel?
All right, you can go to yourpastor.
All right, you got friends thatsay about it.
A mentor?
All right, yeah, someone thatyou think is wise, that has
(12:44):
years of experience, that's beenthrough whatever you're going
through.
And the other important thingwas they need to know you the
closer that they know you.
By the way, I hope every one ofyou has someone that can speak
truth into your life.
Do you have someone who willtell you the hard truth?
Okay, who will tell you look, Iknow you and you don't need to
(13:06):
be doing that.
Okay, that may be fine for somepeople.
You don't need to be doing that.
Okay, all right.
So, seeking wise counsel, seekthem out.
A mentor, someone you know thatyou can go to and sit and have
these conversations, okay, uh,usually you'll have like a
parental figure, but you'll alsoneed people that are outside
(13:28):
that window, especially as youget older.
Okay, this guy in the back.
He said friends, all right,friends can be good, okay, and
they can be bad.
Uh, in part, I would tell youhere I want you to seek someone
that's older in life.
Okay, um, that's, that's gonethrough it.
(13:50):
You can.
There's a lot of wisdom thatcomes with just experiencing
life.
Okay, grandparents, absolutelyAll right.
Next one, step four Surrenderyour motives.
Guys, this is key.
(14:13):
As you think through differentoptions, you will be, uh, let me
(14:33):
think of how to explain this.
All right, so, uh, I once had acollege student who had, uh, uh
, I was up near Wayland Baptistuniversity and he was, he was in
ministry, uh, he was aministerial student.
He had gotten his bachelor'sdegree in Bible from Wayland and
he was looking to go get hismaster's degree from another
Institute and he, he was workingwith me as a mentor and we were
walking through this, okay, andhe got accepted into Princeton.
(14:58):
For Princeton, uh, whatever theI can't remember what they call
their theological, uh, branchof Princeton, right, but it is
right, it's Ivy League.
Everyone in here knows, oh, mygosh, you got into Princeton.
Now, what you may not knowabout Princeton is Princeton as
a theological institute in thattop part, just that theology
(15:20):
degree is very, very liberal,that is, most of the teachers
don't actually believe in theBible, uh, and instead they will
teach a whole bunch of stuffthat undermines the Bible.
They don't take the Bible astruth.
Well, here here's a guy that I,um, was had mentored and through
(15:40):
Waylon and Waylon's teaching,right, uh, that the Bible is the
word of God, and he wants to goon into that area.
And so here we are wrestlingwith this question of should he
go to Princeton?
All right, and we get to thisspot here, right, and what do
(16:01):
you think I say to him aboutPrinceton?
Him about Princeton?
Yeah, why do you want to go?
Okay, this is the key, one ofthe major keys, as you work
(16:21):
through, uh, important lifedecisions.
And here's the deal you got tobe honest with yourself.
If you are not honest, it'skind of like Nate's illustration
this morning of like his littlegirl just hiding in plain sight
.
The reality is, is if, if youare walking with the Lord by the
(16:41):
way, I said this, I forgot tosay this upfront every step of
the way.
We're bathing in prayer, right,we're going to the Lord in
prayer.
We're asking the Lord to anointour just reasonable thinking.
We're asking the Lord to showus who's a good mentor that we
can talk to Every step of theway.
These are going to be keymoments, because if you want
(17:04):
advice from me, you want theLord's wisdom through all of
this.
But then you get to this pointhere where you have to be honest
with yourself about why am Iactually?
What am I seeking between thechoices that I'm looking at?
What do I genuinely care aboutthis?
(17:24):
Okay, and you have to be honest.
So are there good reasons to goto Princeton?
Yeah, list some of them.
Looks good on your resume afterand you might get a sweet job
yeah, all right, so it cancertainly open doors.
Is it a rigorous theologicalinstitute?
(17:46):
Right, okay.
Is it good to seek highereducation and to work hard?
Yeah, okay.
Okay, so we could list off anumber of things that would be
yeah, maybe the lord is callingyou to go there.
What could be a false reason forwhy you would want to go to
princeton theological school?
Prestige.
(18:07):
So why is prestige bad?
Well, because it's maybeprobably not conducive towards
your real goals okay, or atleast your legitimate goals,
yeah, so working through thisidea of how, how something could
be advantageous, way butsimultaneously really kind of
(18:30):
prideful or sought after for thewrong reasons at the same time.
That's what I'm trying to getat here.
When you face a lot of decisions, you may face decisions in your
life in terms of, let's say,what college you're supposed to
go to or kind of what careerpath you want to take, and maybe
(18:52):
one of your parents is like youshould do this.
Okay, could that be a goodreason to do it?
Being obedient to your parents?
It could be.
Could it be a bad reason at thesame time?
Why?
What's the bad portion?
That's there All right.
(19:15):
So, like, if you look at yourmotives and your motive is out
of fear, if your motive is outof well, I really hope my dad
would love me and pay attentionto me if I did this.
Did you guys know that?
Andre Agassi anyone know whoAndre Agassi was is All right.
(19:37):
He's one of the greatestAmerican tennis players ever,
back in my generation, and hehad a whole bunch of commercials
because he was good looking andhad long hair.
And he had a whole bunch ofcommercials because he was good
looking and had long hair.
Anyways, at the end of hiscareer he came out with his
biography.
In his biography he stated Ihated tennis, absolutely hated
(19:58):
tennis.
Hall of Famer Okay, hatedtennis.
He said the only reason Iplayed tennis was because my dad
made me.
Okay, terrible motive to workthrough this.
All right, but when you'realone with the Lord in prayer,
you have to be honest and beable to list out Okay, this,
(20:19):
this is a wrong motive for me togo to Princeton.
God, I don't want to go toPrinceton out of my own pride,
so that I can stick out my chestand say I'm better than all of
my peers, so that when I go toour class reunion 10 years from
now, I can walk around with myPrinceton shirt and like those
are wrong motives to make thosedecisions and you have to be
(20:41):
able to surrender that and behonest with the Lord.
Ok, that is, surrender yourmotives and be honest with the
Lord.
Okay, that is, surrender yourmotives and be honest with it.
Okay, step number five With allthe options that are left,
there is a key moment Okay, asyou've sorted and deciphered
(21:04):
your heart, where you say to Godall right, god, like with those
.
Uh, let's go back to the threejob offers that I had coming out
of A&M.
Okay, one was down a littlebecause it was uh, uh in Fort
Worth.
Okay, of the two that were inDallas, one paid a decent amount
(21:27):
higher, about $7,000.
A starting salary is kind of alot when you're a young kid
coming out, so it was like 40and 47.
Okay, or my engineer and thisis back in the day, right, an
engineer coming out of school,all right, and so those two were
, those two were in Dallas, andbut outside of that, I mean
(21:49):
there are a handful of reasonsof why this one's a little
better than this and that sortof thing.
All right, but, and all thosefactors are on the table.
But then there's a moment whereI get alone to the Lord.
I've checked all of my ownmotives.
If there's anything in me, god,show me, search me, see if
there's any wicked way.
(22:10):
I don't want to chase somethingfor the wrong reasons.
But then I get to this moment.
That is where you put your yeson the table and you say you
know what, lord, if you call meto any of these three jobs or
something else, I will go.
I'll go, I'll do it If you wantto lead me.
(22:35):
Your will is greater than thefact that one of the jobs is in
Fort Worth and your will isgreater than one of the jobs
pays a decent chunk less thanthe other.
Your will is greater than thatand to put your genuine
(22:56):
surrender on the table and sayall right, god, if you'll lead
me, I'll go wherever you wantNow, with that, you then have to
ask the question what are youlooking for next?
What are you looking for theLord to do next?
(23:16):
Ok, it's really nice when Godshuts doors in your face.
Those are actually really goodmoments.
Ok, they don't feel good at thetime, but they actually really
good moments.
Okay, they don't feel good atthe time, but they are really
good moments.
So there was a time when I was ayouth pastor it was my first
ministry job after the Lord hadcalled me into ministry and I
(23:40):
was looking to take the step tobecome a senior pastor and there
was a church in Austin that Iwas certain that door was
opening and I was taking thatposition.
In fact, uh, they brought usdown to Austin to, uh, look at
(24:00):
houses.
Okay, so when you get that farin a job process, that's, that's
pretty good.
They're telling you yes, wewant you to come and look at
houses.
So we go down, we look athouses, we have the weekend with
them.
They called me the next weekand said, uh, started to give me
a number of handful ofexcellent explanations that were
(24:21):
really pretty vague, but at theend of that conversation they
just said I'm sorry, it's notgoing to work out, and that door
just wham, shut in our face.
Okay, that's nice when thathappens.
Okay, remember when we weretalking earlier and I said, oh
(24:41):
my gosh, there's three paths,and this one leads to the
promised land.
And what's behind door numbertwo and three is why you lost at
life.
Listen to me.
Your heavenly father is notplaying games with your life
like you're in a game show.
Ok, hear me.
(25:03):
Many options that you go downin his mind converge and lead to
the same path.
If he wants to shut a door inyour life, he will.
Okay, it's.
It's different if you're Jonahand you're like oh, no, god, I
(25:23):
heard you say that I'm justdoing something else.
All right, that's a differentstory.
If you are listening to theLord and you are like God could
could you help me figure thisout?
And you don't sense the Lordopen a door or shut one in your
face, okay, then, what are youlooking for?
(25:43):
This is what you're looking for, okay?
Uh, there's a passage inPhilippians, chapter four.
It says that if you give to theLord your anxiety, and when you
do it, you, you praise him.
At the same time, if you givethanksgiving, you say you know
what God, you are good to me,you are with me.
His promise, his portion ofwhat he will do back for you, is
(26:08):
he will give you a peace and aconfidence by the spirit of God
in your heart and mind to helpyou figure out the path.
That is his promise.
So what you are seeking whenyou have to make a major life
decision is is God giving me apeace about what to do?
(26:31):
I've used my brain, I've soughtwise counsel.
Right, I studied his word.
I've been praying all along.
I've surrendered my motives.
Okay, I've put my yes on thetable.
God, I will go anywhere youwant me to go.
It's up to you.
Now I need a sense from you.
He will give you a peace.
So those three jobs, me comingout of school um, I was down on
(26:55):
the Fort Worth one.
There were two in Dallas.
This one paid considerably more.
I put my yes on the table and Idon't know how else to tell you
besides, in prayer time I justbegan to get a sense, a
confidence of peace, that thatGod wanted me to take the less
(27:16):
paying engineering job in Dallasand it was with a pretty small
company, it.
It wasn't as shiny, it didn'tlook as good as wasn't as shiny,
it didn't look as good as asthis company here that paid
$7,000 more and was in a nicebig building, all that stuff.
He wanted me to take this job.
(27:36):
I don't know what else to tellyou besides he, he, he gave me a
piece in that regard.
Fast forward in my life, what Ididn't know at the time was a
year, year and a half, intobeing an engineer there, the
Lord would call me into ministry.
Complete change in career paths.
(27:58):
That smaller engineering firmturned out to be absolutely
incredible and perfect for thatchange of trajectory of what the
Lord was doing in my life.
And uh, had I been at a biggerfirm and like so I told them I
(28:19):
was going, uh, that the Lord hadcalled me into ministry and he
helped me transition for sixmonths and all of that, all of
that stuff.
Versus if I had been in abigger firm, he'd have said
here's your slip, here's yournotice, adios.
So I can look back now and seethat the Lord had reasons for
(28:41):
why he was telling me to takethis job and not this job.
And the only way I got therewas I put my yes on the table
and I said, lord, I, I'm goingto use my brain, I'm going to
take this job unless you tell meotherwise.
Okay, you, you can speakfrankly to the Lord.
You can say, god, I'm going towalk through that door unless
(29:06):
you stop me.
All right, god, here I go.
That's fine, guys.
And if he doesn't stop you, Iwant you to have a confidence,
because you're surrendered,right?
Is he your heavenly father?
Okay, then, I want you to havea confidence.
Yeah, it's fine, you can gothrough that door.
(29:36):
So I know a lot of you arefreshmen, you're in high school,
you're, you're looking at.
All right, let's apply this towhat college to take or what
course path to take.
Okay, can I give you, can Igive you an assurance One?
I I know that they want you tohave it figured out when you're,
uh, 15, 14, going into right,and you're like, oh goodness,
(29:59):
yeah, I guess I got to know thatGuess what you don't and
there's way more flexibilityahead than than what you think.
Okay, they're like hey, choosethese five tracks and and you're
off.
And if you happen to be likethe 10% that picks that track,
(30:22):
that just works out for whatthey're going to do the rest of
their life like, praise the Lord, good for you.
But 90% of the people are goingto be wandering around figuring
things out, and that's okay.
I stand before you, a pastor.
You know what I got called tobe a pastor?
Yeah, I was 24.
(30:43):
I've got an engineering degreethat I don't use.
Okay, the Lord has lots of waysof weaving our path to help us
figure and sort through.
And and, by the way, he usedthis engineering degree in
awesome ways to provide for mewhenever I was in seminary as
(31:04):
working part-time and make a lotmore money, part-time engineer,
getting through seminary andthose sorts of things.
But God knew all of that.
So I know we like to havethings planned out, and a lot of
you.
The Lord is stretching you withcontrol.
Okay, and that's okay, becausewhen there's a little mix up in
(31:29):
life and when things get kind ofthrown in the air and you feel
out of control, it forces you topress into the Lord like you
wouldn't at any other time, andthat's actually good for you.
Okay, all right.
Reply back Questions.
Other scenarios that you want tohear me talk about Chase, would
(31:56):
you ever say that there couldbe a scenario where there's like
two doors open and God's sayingdo either one.
Yes, no, 100%.
So great follow-up question.
He said sometimes does it notmatter which door you choose?
Hear me, yes, he's exactlyright.
Sometimes God is literallysaying choose either door, I
(32:19):
don't care, because, in his mind, right, if you, if you're
looking at the path, okay, ifGod wants to get you to here and
there's this path, this path,this path, okay, if God wants to
get you to here and there'sthis path, this path, this path,
what God knows is that thispath actually links up right
there and it's all the same.
And he's like, yeah, I don'tcare If you've surrendered,
(32:42):
right Again, if you're Jonah andyou're like, oh, I heard the
Lord and no, I'm going anyways,right, but if you're like God,
would you lead me, could you?
Could I hear from you?
Ok, I'm not sensing either way,I would absolutely tell you.
Then do what you want to do.
And that's why I said tell God.
All right, god, I'm going to godown this path unless you tell
(33:04):
me otherwise.
Yeah, great, do it.
Good question Others I'm anadult now so my parents don't
make my decisions anymore, butas a high schooler, I'd be
curious your commentary on.
You know, mom and dad think Ineed to go down this path and
(33:29):
I'm 15 and I can't necessarilyjust say, no, you're wrong, I'm
going to go do this other path,right.
So what's the balance?
Let's say, hypothetically, 15year old feels incredibly
convicted on their path.
What's the balance of mom anddad versus what I think is maybe
(33:49):
more correct?
Yeah, what a great question.
Does anyone identify with that?
How to balance between mom anddad?
All right, so everyone'sparental situation is different,
okay, and so there's a lot ofnuance in there.
That's where a lot of that wisecounsel and someone that's
(34:11):
close to the situation that canhelp you walk through, and how
to navigate it.
Okay, one, as you grow andmature, one of the things, one
of the muscles that you reallyneed to develop, is the ability
to communicate, and tocommunicate clearly.
(34:33):
Most of your parents will berather reasonable Okay, if you
can communicate.
Okay, and if they press you,then a lot of times they they
just want you to to be able tothink well and not just give a
(34:57):
surface level answer All right.
So you choosing your careerpath based on the fact that your
buddy is also taking that classright, what are your parents
going to do?
They're going to roll theireyes.
They're going to be like, comeon, you just want to goof off in
that class because your buddy'sin that class.
I can't take you seriously.
(35:19):
But if you begin to articulatedeeper issues, your parents
overwhelmingly want to see yousucceed and you need to be able
to communicate.
And maybe you can't do thatinitially, but a good mentor, a
good person that's a few stepsin front of you that can help
(35:39):
you talk about that.
Go to your parents with good,honest communication.
That would honestly solve about80% of the issues there.
There are complex situationswith complex parents and all my
parents are divorced and mystepdad's a jerk and a lot of
that stuff.
Like I, like I get it and,whether you know it or not, uh,
(36:03):
high school is really short.
High school is really short.
I know you think it's aneternity and you're like, oh my
gosh, it's so hard to becompliant when I'm underneath
their house.
In the perspective of life.
High school really is short.
(36:24):
You can do a lot of things fora short period of time that curb
what you want to do, because inreality you're not an adult,
you don't know the weight ofwhat it means to hold a job and
pay all your own bills and a lotof that stuff.
So you're in the embryonicchamber, you're developing.
(36:46):
You're in the embryonic chamber, you're developing.
So one overwhelmingly.
If you learn to communicateclearly with your parents, that
will go a long way.
Seek a mentor's help in beingable to develop that, and then
it's going to get into kind ofsituational ethics with
different ones.
Does that help?
Yeah, yeah, I wish I had heardthat, because my parents were
(37:10):
divorced and instead I closedoff and separated from both.
I think I turned out fine, butit would have been nice to be
able to go to people that I amaround daily and run that circle
in an appropriate way.
Yeah, see, one of the thingsthat you don't realize yeah, see
, one of the things that youdon't realize especially if you
come from a broken home or youknow there's some complexity
(37:33):
with your parents is hear me,your parents actually want what
is best for you, even if therelationship is a little
strained and confusing.
Okay, and I know you don'talways feel that I'm just
telling you from a parent, and Ideal with a lot of other
(37:53):
parents and a lot of otheradults.
They want what's best for you.
By the way, just on behalf ofall parents.
Sometimes they're in over theirhead as well, over their head
as well.
And see, I had, I had thisvision of of my dad and mom when
(38:13):
I was a teenager, that like, ohman, when you become an adult,
like life just makes sense, likelife is like easy for adults.
Here I am this kid and I don'tknow all that much stuff.
But I look, oh, he must knoweverything.
And then there's this odd thingthat occurs as you get older
and older.
You begin to ask yourself am Ian adult yet?
(38:36):
And inside you say I don'treally feel like an adult
because I certainly don't haveall of those questions answered
that I thought I would have.
But you look down and you'relike dude, you've got three kids
and a job and a mortgage.
You better be an adult by now.
(38:57):
But inside I'm like I don'treally feel like an adult.
I'm like running around withshort shorts and a tank top on
stage, like I don't know thatI'm an adult yet All I'm saying
is the reality is, give yourparents a little slack, because
what you don't know is theyactually are dealing with the
complexities of life also.
(39:18):
But if you communicate with them, so, so, like Jacob, right.
So like in Jacob's.
In Jacob's case, right, hisparents had gone through a
divorce.
They, they, they're.
No one ever gets marriedthinking they they're going to
get divorced.
Right, the reason you getmarried is because you want to
be married for life.
But it broke up, it got ugly.
They have like, oh, how do werelate to each other?
(39:41):
And here's Jacob, and he's likeI'm not going to talk to them
about it.
And and meanwhile, like they'vegot their own mess and they're
trying to do the best that theycan.
Uh, but um, but their teenageson won't talk to him and and
he's closed down.
And they're like all all hewants to do is hang out with his
friends.
He'll never talk to us aboutany of these important issues.
(40:01):
He doesn't think he can talk tothem.
So listen, please hear me, ifyou talk to adults again, find a
good mentor and someone thatwould encourage you, communicate
well to your parents.
It'll actually go a really longway.
Other questions scenarios Tony,what does the scripture tell us
(40:25):
about God's response when, inour ignorance, we start down the
wrong path?
Yeah, great question.
What if you're going down thewrong path?
Okay, I think Scripture tellsyou plainly in Hebrews, chapter
(40:46):
12, that God will discipline you.
If you are God's, he willdiscipline you.
Okay, now that passage isspecifically talking about when
you're sinning.
So if we say wrong path interms of sinning, okay, the Lord
will discipline you.
(41:06):
That's what he preached aboutthis morning in terms of Jonah.
Hear me, that is a good, goodthing, like a really good thing.
If I could put this into yoursoul right now.
Listen, if someone doesn'tdiscipline you, if someone looks
at you and says, I don't carewhat you do, that's actually the
(41:29):
wrath of God.
Okay, remember when he saidthat kids going and running in
the street what is the coldestthing that could be done at that
time To be like, yeah, I don'tcare what you do, I get your
(41:52):
three go run and play in thestreet, I don't care.
To say I don't care is it'shonestly.
That's the wrath of God.
But Hebrews 12 says that Goddisciplines each of his sons and
daughters as his own, okay andso.
So discipline in that sense isusually I mean, think of it like
a spanking.
It's like, oh my gosh, it getsyour attention.
Okay, the Lord will do that,especially in your sin, but also
(42:15):
even if you're choosing, evenif you're choosing a path and
you're like, oh my gosh, Imissed it.
Okay, the Lord will.
The Lord is kind and good, hewill redirect.
Lord is kind and good, he willredirect.
He will, he will bring you backand accomplish all that he
desires with with your life.
(42:35):
Let me tell you a super sadstory.
Um, a guy at my last church hisname is Jim Matlock, uh, he's
like 85.
Okay, and he comes up to me,wants to meet me in my office
after one of the services andmeets me in my office.
And he comes up to me, wants tomeet me in my office after one
of the services and meets me inmy office, and he comes in and
here's what he says to me hesaid God called me to be a
(42:59):
preacher whenever I was 20, andI kind of ran from that, of ran
from that and I think I'vemissed God's call on my entire
life.
Here he is 85, right,no-transcript.
(43:21):
All right, how would yourespond to him?
He's in my office.
He's 85.
Yeah, it's just.
Uh, I think I think the pictureof God from the scripture is is
so so much more clear than that.
That is, look, man, if he, ifhe threw Jonah into a whale to
(43:43):
get, threw Jonah into a whale toget his attention, all right,
and as you were wrestling withGod's calling upon your life,
listen to me, it's not like Godabandoned you for 60 years and
was like he's on the wrong path.
Sucks for him.
Hope he figures it out and getson the right path.
(44:04):
Like no, this is your heavenlyfather.
It's not just leaving you tothe wolves.
Okay, um, so that would be myreply.
He's, he is, and and that'swhat I, that's what I hope to
relieve a little bit when you'relike, oh my gosh, there's five
paths or there's five colleges.
How do I choose the right one?
(44:25):
A lot of times the reality isGod is either saying there's no
right one I'm with you all ofthese, so chill out or there's
some exit ramps along the waythat God intends that he will
(44:47):
even use that mistake.
So you know, people go onesemester to a college.
They're like that was not forme.
They transfer to another one.
I absolutely think that wouldbe 100% in the Lord's will to be
like, yeah, and I was teachingyou through that that you could
trust me even in the exit.
I'm going to close with thisOne of my favorite stories.
(45:12):
I think I'm getting thereference right in like second
Corinthians chapter.
It's two, three or four If Igive a broad enough reference,
you'll you'll know it's forcertain.
All right, paul is Paul is he'swriting to the Corinthians, but
he's telling them about his owntravels and he says I felt God
calling me to go to Troas, okay,to preach the gospel.
(45:40):
And Paul said a door was openedup for me and I went.
Now you got to remember, in theancient world, travel took a
long time, right, it took likethree months to do anything.
And so, uh, you, you got tothink this is, this is like a
six month journey of planningand being like, yes, the Lord
opened a door, I'm supposed togo to Troas, all right.
(46:03):
So he says it in one sentence.
He's like the Lord opened adoor to go preach the gospel to
Troas, he says.
And then I got there and myspirit was unsettled because I
couldn't find Titus.
I don't know what the situationwas.
I guess he thought he knewTitus.
(46:24):
His good buddy, his apprentice,was there and like they were
going to go around together, hesaid I couldn't find Titus.
And so you got to understand.
It's like here's Paul wanderingaround the city like where's
Titus?
Ok, I'm here.
So that probably takes a week.
He's trying to find Titus.
Then he's praying about.
He says, and at the end of thatI was unsettled so I just moved
(46:48):
on to Macedonia.
Now pause for a second here.
You know the apostle Paul sawthe resurrected Lord on the road
to Damascus.
He healed people with hisshadow, raised someone from the
(47:10):
dead.
You guys know that story.
That's a great story.
Paul was preaching.
It was late in the night.
He kept going on and on and on.
This little kid falls out ofthe second story because Paul
had rocked him to sleep, fallsdown dead.
Paul comes down, lays on top ofhim, resurrects him.
And then what does Paul doafter that?
Goes right back to preaching.
(47:32):
You got to love that guy, allright.
So Paul, back in Troas, raisesomeone from the dead.
And yet in this account he tellsyou I felt the Lord opened a
door for me to go and preach thegospel.
But when I got there, my spiritwas unsettled.
And then I moved on and I'mlike hallelujah, you know what?
(47:56):
There's a guy who at times inlife looks like he's just
running around figuring it out,like I think God wants me here
now.
All right, well, I'm going toput my hand to the plow.
No, this isn't where God wantsme, and he moves me, I just.
I point that out becausethere's so much flexibility,
because the Lord is the onewho's with you all the time.
(48:16):
In fact, he ends that sectionUh, second Corinthians four is
what I'm going with.
He ends that sections with andpraise be to God, who always
leads us in triumph in ChristJesus.
Okay, in other words and thisis my close God is with you.
(48:37):
Okay, I've given you somepractical steps how to use your
brain, how to pray about it, howto seek some wise counsel, but
at the end of the day, you getGod himself.
There are so many times when wewant God to give us a roadmap.
(48:58):
Anybody want a roadmap for life.
You know, I actually prayed forthis, I fasted for this coming
out of college.
Okay, I wanted a roadmap for mylife saying God what does it
look like?
And then one day I was at myparents' house and God actually
replied Okay, you want to knowwhat he said?
(49:19):
I don't have to give you one,you just follow me, follow my
word, I promise you.
That's what the Holy Spirit ofGod said to me.
He said I don't have to giveyou a roadmap, I don't got to
tell you what I'm going to do.
Right, and as you can see, likeI was an engineer and then I
was a youth pastor, the Lord'smoved me around and that's what
(49:42):
he will do to you.
Okay, have confidence in that,because in the end of the day,
what you get is God himself.
All right, let's pray, thenwe're done.
Otherwise, I'll keep going onand on and you will fall dead.
Heavenly father, we thank youfor this afternoon.
I pray right now, in Jesus name, that you would give these
students a confidence that yourspirit is with them and that,
(50:05):
yes, they can go through thesepractical steps and God hear
from you in that, that you willgive them a peace and guidance,
but more than anything, god,that they would have a
confidence that you are going tobe with them through the
process.
Right, that they can't screw itup that by seeking you, you
(50:26):
will reveal yourself to them andyou give flexibility and choice
and freedom and you delight inthat and help them to walk in
that freedom.
In Jesus name, we pray Amen.
The topic is how do you make major life decisions?
So we're going to pray, thenwe're going to jump into it.
Okay, heavenly Father, we thankyou for this day.
I pray right now in Jesus' name, that you would give us clarity
of thought, that you wouldallow students to be able to ask
important questions of whatthey're facing, the fears that
(00:21):
we have faced with a lot of thedecisions.
I know that there is a decisionfatigue.
There are so many options infront of us that it can be very
scary.
And so, father, we pray rightnow in Jesus name, that your
spirit would give us a clarityas we communicate.
In Jesus name, we pray, amen.
Okay.
So, again, interactive, you askquestions.
(00:43):
I'm I'm going to give you somekind of step-by-step things that
, pastorally, I would want youto be able to walk through.
So let's first ask the questionwhat sort of decisions?
When you heard this title how tomake major life decisions and
you were like good, I want toshow up for that one.
(01:05):
What sorts of decisions are youfacing that are in the back of
your mind, that you're likeplease, god, do not let me mess
this up, all right, okay, inwhat way?
Like I'm in college right now.
So just think about like thefuture, like what I want to do,
(01:25):
kind of like what path?
Okay, how do I find that pathof like what's what's the right
job?
Okay, others, what kind ofcollege you're gonna go to?
What college to go to?
Is that on anyone's mind?
Okay, I know?
Uh, what about even even theselines?
(01:46):
I know that, as a freshmangoing into Bernie High School,
you have to choose a path.
Like, good grief, I wasn'tthinking about anything geared
towards the future as a freshman, all I was thinking about was
sports, and you make me choose apath that I'm supposed to kind
(02:09):
of sort through.
Yeah, we're wrestling that withmy oldest right now.
Okay, that can cause a lot offear.
Like, oh my gosh, I chose theauto path and now I got in here
and I don't want this.
I'm stuck.
I'm so far behind.
How am I going to catch up?
Am I speaking to anyone?
(02:30):
You feel that it's already sohot in here?
I'm going to tell them.
All right, give me some moreexamples.
Garrett, it's hot in here.
We need air.
Someone, someone around here,make it cooler, all right?
(02:51):
Yes, ma'am, a lot of us aregoing to college next year.
I guess decisions on churchgroups to join communities.
Inviting communities, yeah,excellent, good, praying that
the Lord opens up those rightfriendship groups.
Okay, so here's just some ofthe ones I listed out.
Right Career choice what collegedo I go to?
(03:13):
How do I know what job to takeand whom should I marry?
You guys may be a little youngfor that, but it starts to get
real serious, real quick,especially when you're in
college.
I know, as you get on the backrow, all right, and you start
thinking about, oh, my goodness,is this the right person?
Can I marry them?
Ah, that's for the rest of yourlife.
(03:36):
What if I marry the wrongperson?
Oh, how horrible.
You just kind of stuck, okay, um, we're going to take, I'm going
to give you, uh, a handful of,uh, uh, kind of step-by-step
walkthrough.
But again, interaction, youinteracting with me, you asking
(03:59):
questions, uh, cause, what I'mgoing to give you, I I prepared
this long time ago, dealing withcollege students who are asking
these sorts of questions.
We're going to open the doors.
It's way too hot, just tellthem, you guys.
You guys be quiet because it'shot.
Yes, do whatever you can.
(04:22):
Yes, yeah, I'll take anything.
I don't preach to a hot room.
They drop like flies.
Okay, um, so again, interactionas we walk through it.
So I had a handful of decisionsin mind and I prepared this for
(04:45):
college students as, as they'refacing these major life
decisions, so kind of somestep-by-step, easy things to
knock out up front.
All right, the first, firststep Okay, you're going to write
this down in your notes.
We must ask ourselves what doesthe Bible say about it?
And if the Bible gives clearinstruction, you know what we do
(05:11):
, you do it.
Oh, that was nice and easy,right?
I know that there are timeswhen you want to really pray
about it and think maybe Godwill give me a different answer.
But if the Bible has spokenclearly about it, guess what?
I'll tell you a secret.
(05:32):
You don't even have to prayabout it.
You just do it because God'salready spoken.
All right, so if it's like,should I do something
inappropriate with my boyfriendor girlfriend and there's
pressure there, guess what?
You don't have to pray about it.
(05:53):
The answer is no.
Okay, now you can pray that theLord would give you outs and
help you in temptation and takethings a different way, but you
don't have to pray.
God, do you really want me todo this?
You already know the answer tothat Okay, so if the Bible
speaks, clearly, done.
(06:14):
Now there are situations wherethere are competing issues
you'll deal with this in ethicswhenever you get to college uh,
where there are competing issuesand you have to make a decision
.
Okay, and how do you do that?
So a classic example, and thisis a true example If you've ever
(06:36):
read Corrie ten booms thehiding place.
So they're a Dutch family thatis hiding Jews.
They're Christian, but they'rehiding Jews because the Nazis
are killing all the Jews.
Okay, and they're hiding Jewsin their house, and they
actually have.
They've.
They've carved out a section,uh, under their floor and uh, so
(06:57):
that they can get underneaththeir hardwood floors.
It's a removable spot.
And then they throw the rugover it in the table, okay, and
Nazis come in one day and askthe question to the family are
there any Jews in here?
What do you do?
What does the Bible say aboutlying?
(07:24):
Huh, lying's bad.
So what do you do?
See, there's a paradox.
There's competing evil outcomes.
Now, in this particular story,true story, corrie Ten Boom and
her entire household, entirehousehold.
(07:45):
They, of course, say nothing.
They say, of course, there'snot Jews here, but Corey's
sister I can't remember her nameoff the top of my head, corey's
sister felt so convicted thatshe should not lie that she
burst out in the moment thereare Jews hiding underneath the
table.
And then the Nazis go over touh, look under the table and she
(08:13):
burst out in uncontrollablelaughter, nervous laughter, and
they ended up thinking thatshe's uh messing with them and
they turn around and leave.
And then afterwards everyonehad choice words for sister.
Right, they were like what iswrong with you?
Okay, all right.
So a little complexity to.
(08:34):
Sometimes there are competingdesires.
What I would tell you in thatsituation?
Right, there are, there aregreater evils and you should
choose the lesser evil wheneverthere's complexity.
Okay, let's keep moving, allright.
Second thing Okay, uh, as you'remaking difficult life decisions
, as you're trying to figure outwhat college do I go to, what
(08:57):
career path, guess what I knowit's on the board Use your brain
.
Did you know that that'sspiritual?
Did you know that God gave youa brain on purpose, so that you
would reason?
Most of the time, god is goingto use natural means to open and
(09:23):
close doors in your life, andthat is through using your brain
, figuring out certain thingsthat you are gifted at figuring
out certain things that you liketo do, that you have aptitude
to do.
So God has given you naturaltalent, he's given you certain
abilities, okay, and all of thatis good, really really good,
(09:49):
okay, so I'm going to give you atest case, as we kind of go
through this.
When I was coming out of collegeat A&M, I had three different
job opportunities, okay and um,I'd gone through, got my civil
engineering degree and, comingout interviewed, uh, through the
(10:09):
school, I got three differentjob opportunities.
Uh, two of them were in Dallasand one of them was in Fort
Worth.
My I'm from Dallas, my family,my parents lived in Dallas at
the time, my sister in Dallas,and so two were in Dallas, one
was in Fort Worth.
And I, like many of you withdecision fatigue or overload,
(10:30):
was really really afraid of whatif I choose the wrong job and
just mess up the path that theLord has for me for the rest of
my life?
I'm on the wrong path and I'vejust messed this whole thing up.
I chose, I chose the wrong job.
Now here I am.
God had this path for me and,by the way, this path led to
(10:54):
just amazing things, justblessings of the Lord and the
perfect wife and family, andeverything was going to be great
if I chose this path, but thisone, that's the wrong one.
It's kind of like a game show,like you chose the wrong door.
Behind that door is a chairwith a bunch of porcupine quills
sticking out of it.
Okay, stinks for you, butthat's what you did.
(11:15):
Now you sit in it.
Okay, so I have these threejobs and that'll be kind of the
test case.
So here, as I'm trying tochoose between three jobs, there
was nothing biblical about,like the Bible didn't say choose
this job or not that job.
Right, that would have beennice, but it doesn't.
So then we move to.
All right, so use your brain.
(11:36):
So I suggest using a T chartthat has pros and cons, what's
positive about this place,what's negative about that place
and start listing these thingsout.
Okay, by the way, again, youneed to hear me as your pastor
saying what I'm about to say.
This is spiritual.
God created you to use yourbrain.
(11:58):
That is a good thing, okay, soI listed out well, the one that
was in Fort Worth is furtheraway from my parents, so that
that one, like well, that onegoes down on the list, and then
there are other things about thejob, okay, um, and then just
kind of list out there's goodparts of this company, good
parts of that company, okay, soyou use your brain.
Next, seek wise counsel.
(12:21):
Okay, what do you guys think Imean by seek wise counsel?
All right, you can go to yourpastor.
All right, you got friends thatsay about it.
A mentor?
All right, yeah, someone thatyou think is wise, that has
(12:44):
years of experience, that's beenthrough whatever you're going
through.
And the other important thingwas they need to know you the
closer that they know you.
By the way, I hope every one ofyou has someone that can speak
truth into your life.
Do you have someone who willtell you the hard truth?
Okay, who will tell you look, Iknow you and you don't need to
(13:06):
be doing that.
Okay, that may be fine for somepeople.
You don't need to be doing that.
Okay, all right.
So, seeking wise counsel, seekthem out.
A mentor, someone you know thatyou can go to and sit and have
these conversations, okay, uh,usually you'll have like a
parental figure, but you'll alsoneed people that are outside
(13:28):
that window, especially as youget older.
Okay, this guy in the back.
He said friends, all right,friends can be good, okay, and
they can be bad.
Uh, in part, I would tell youhere I want you to seek someone
that's older in life.
Okay, um, that's, that's gonethrough it.
(13:50):
You can.
There's a lot of wisdom thatcomes with just experiencing
life.
Okay, grandparents, absolutelyAll right.
Next one, step four Surrenderyour motives.
Guys, this is key.
(14:13):
As you think through differentoptions, you will be, uh, let me
(14:33):
think of how to explain this.
All right, so, uh, I once had acollege student who had, uh, uh
, I was up near Wayland Baptistuniversity and he was, he was in
ministry, uh, he was aministerial student.
He had gotten his bachelor'sdegree in Bible from Wayland and
he was looking to go get hismaster's degree from another
Institute and he, he was workingwith me as a mentor and we were
walking through this, okay, andhe got accepted into Princeton.
(14:58):
For Princeton, uh, whatever theI can't remember what they call
their theological, uh, branchof Princeton, right, but it is
right, it's Ivy League.
Everyone in here knows, oh, mygosh, you got into Princeton.
Now, what you may not knowabout Princeton is Princeton as
a theological institute in thattop part, just that theology
(15:20):
degree is very, very liberal,that is, most of the teachers
don't actually believe in theBible, uh, and instead they will
teach a whole bunch of stuffthat undermines the Bible.
They don't take the Bible astruth.
Well, here here's a guy that I,um, was had mentored and through
(15:40):
Waylon and Waylon's teaching,right, uh, that the Bible is the
word of God, and he wants to goon into that area.
And so here we are wrestlingwith this question of should he
go to Princeton?
All right, and we get to thisspot here, right, and what do
(16:01):
you think I say to him aboutPrinceton?
Him about Princeton?
Yeah, why do you want to go?
Okay, this is the key, one ofthe major keys, as you work
(16:21):
through, uh, important lifedecisions.
And here's the deal you got tobe honest with yourself.
If you are not honest, it'skind of like Nate's illustration
this morning of like his littlegirl just hiding in plain sight
.
The reality is, is if, if youare walking with the Lord by the
(16:41):
way, I said this, I forgot tosay this upfront every step of
the way.
We're bathing in prayer, right,we're going to the Lord in
prayer.
We're asking the Lord to anointour just reasonable thinking.
We're asking the Lord to showus who's a good mentor that we
can talk to Every step of theway.
These are going to be keymoments, because if you want
(17:04):
advice from me, you want theLord's wisdom through all of
this.
But then you get to this pointhere where you have to be honest
with yourself about why am Iactually?
What am I seeking between thechoices that I'm looking at?
What do I genuinely care aboutthis?
(17:24):
Okay, and you have to be honest.
So are there good reasons to goto Princeton?
Yeah, list some of them.
Looks good on your resume afterand you might get a sweet job
yeah, all right, so it cancertainly open doors.
Is it a rigorous theologicalinstitute?
(17:46):
Right, okay.
Is it good to seek highereducation and to work hard?
Yeah, okay.
Okay, so we could list off anumber of things that would be
yeah, maybe the lord is callingyou to go there.
What could be a false reason forwhy you would want to go to
princeton theological school?
Prestige.
(18:07):
So why is prestige bad?
Well, because it's maybeprobably not conducive towards
your real goals okay, or atleast your legitimate goals,
yeah, so working through thisidea of how, how something could
be advantageous, way butsimultaneously really kind of
(18:30):
prideful or sought after for thewrong reasons at the same time.
That's what I'm trying to getat here.
When you face a lot of decisions, you may face decisions in your
life in terms of, let's say,what college you're supposed to
go to or kind of what careerpath you want to take, and maybe
(18:52):
one of your parents is like youshould do this.
Okay, could that be a goodreason to do it?
Being obedient to your parents?
It could be.
Could it be a bad reason at thesame time?
Why?
What's the bad portion?
That's there All right.
(19:15):
So, like, if you look at yourmotives and your motive is out
of fear, if your motive is outof well, I really hope my dad
would love me and pay attentionto me if I did this.
Did you guys know that?
Andre Agassi anyone know whoAndre Agassi was is All right.
(19:37):
He's one of the greatestAmerican tennis players ever,
back in my generation, and hehad a whole bunch of commercials
because he was good looking andhad long hair.
And he had a whole bunch ofcommercials because he was good
looking and had long hair.
Anyways, at the end of hiscareer he came out with his
biography.
In his biography he stated Ihated tennis, absolutely hated
(19:58):
tennis.
Hall of Famer Okay, hatedtennis.
He said the only reason Iplayed tennis was because my dad
made me.
Okay, terrible motive to workthrough this.
All right, but when you'realone with the Lord in prayer,
you have to be honest and beable to list out Okay, this,
(20:19):
this is a wrong motive for me togo to Princeton.
God, I don't want to go toPrinceton out of my own pride,
so that I can stick out my chestand say I'm better than all of
my peers, so that when I go toour class reunion 10 years from
now, I can walk around with myPrinceton shirt and like those
are wrong motives to make thosedecisions and you have to be
(20:41):
able to surrender that and behonest with the Lord.
Ok, that is, surrender yourmotives and be honest with the
Lord.
Okay, that is, surrender yourmotives and be honest with it.
Okay, step number five With allthe options that are left,
there is a key moment Okay, asyou've sorted and deciphered
(21:04):
your heart, where you say to Godall right, god, like with those
.
Uh, let's go back to the threejob offers that I had coming out
of A&M.
Okay, one was down a littlebecause it was uh, uh in Fort
Worth.
Okay, of the two that were inDallas, one paid a decent amount
(21:27):
higher, about $7,000.
A starting salary is kind of alot when you're a young kid
coming out, so it was like 40and 47.
Okay, or my engineer and thisis back in the day, right, an
engineer coming out of school,all right, and so those two were
, those two were in Dallas, andbut outside of that, I mean
(21:49):
there are a handful of reasonsof why this one's a little
better than this and that sortof thing.
All right, but, and all thosefactors are on the table.
But then there's a moment whereI get alone to the Lord.
I've checked all of my ownmotives.
If there's anything in me, god,show me, search me, see if
there's any wicked way.
(22:10):
I don't want to chase somethingfor the wrong reasons.
But then I get to this moment.
That is where you put your yeson the table and you say you
know what, lord, if you call meto any of these three jobs or
something else, I will go.
I'll go, I'll do it If you wantto lead me.
(22:35):
Your will is greater than thefact that one of the jobs is in
Fort Worth and your will isgreater than one of the jobs
pays a decent chunk less thanthe other.
Your will is greater than thatand to put your genuine
(22:56):
surrender on the table and sayall right, god, if you'll lead
me, I'll go wherever you wantNow, with that, you then have to
ask the question what are youlooking for next?
What are you looking for theLord to do next?
(23:16):
Ok, it's really nice when Godshuts doors in your face.
Those are actually really goodmoments.
Ok, they don't feel good at thetime, but they actually really
good moments.
Okay, they don't feel good atthe time, but they are really
good moments.
So there was a time when I was ayouth pastor it was my first
ministry job after the Lord hadcalled me into ministry and I
(23:40):
was looking to take the step tobecome a senior pastor and there
was a church in Austin that Iwas certain that door was
opening and I was taking thatposition.
In fact, uh, they brought usdown to Austin to, uh, look at
(24:00):
houses.
Okay, so when you get that farin a job process, that's, that's
pretty good.
They're telling you yes, wewant you to come and look at
houses.
So we go down, we look athouses, we have the weekend with
them.
They called me the next weekand said, uh, started to give me
a number of handful ofexcellent explanations that were
(24:21):
really pretty vague, but at theend of that conversation they
just said I'm sorry, it's notgoing to work out, and that door
just wham, shut in our face.
Okay, that's nice when thathappens.
Okay, remember when we weretalking earlier and I said, oh
(24:41):
my gosh, there's three paths,and this one leads to the
promised land.
And what's behind door numbertwo and three is why you lost at
life.
Listen to me.
Your heavenly father is notplaying games with your life
like you're in a game show.
Ok, hear me.
(25:03):
Many options that you go downin his mind converge and lead to
the same path.
If he wants to shut a door inyour life, he will.
Okay, it's.
It's different if you're Jonahand you're like oh, no, god, I
(25:23):
heard you say that I'm justdoing something else.
All right, that's a differentstory.
If you are listening to theLord and you are like God could
could you help me figure thisout?
And you don't sense the Lordopen a door or shut one in your
face, okay, then, what are youlooking for?
(25:43):
This is what you're looking for, okay?
Uh, there's a passage inPhilippians, chapter four.
It says that if you give to theLord your anxiety, and when you
do it, you, you praise him.
At the same time, if you givethanksgiving, you say you know
what God, you are good to me,you are with me.
His promise, his portion ofwhat he will do back for you, is
(26:08):
he will give you a peace and aconfidence by the spirit of God
in your heart and mind to helpyou figure out the path.
That is his promise.
So what you are seeking whenyou have to make a major life
decision is is God giving me apeace about what to do?
(26:31):
I've used my brain, I've soughtwise counsel.
Right, I studied his word.
I've been praying all along.
I've surrendered my motives.
Okay, I've put my yes on thetable.
God, I will go anywhere youwant me to go.
It's up to you.
Now I need a sense from you.
He will give you a peace.
So those three jobs, me comingout of school um, I was down on
(26:55):
the Fort Worth one.
There were two in Dallas.
This one paid considerably more.
I put my yes on the table and Idon't know how else to tell you
besides, in prayer time I justbegan to get a sense, a
confidence of peace, that thatGod wanted me to take the less
(27:16):
paying engineering job in Dallasand it was with a pretty small
company, it.
It wasn't as shiny, it didn'tlook as good as wasn't as shiny,
it didn't look as good as asthis company here that paid
$7,000 more and was in a nicebig building, all that stuff.
He wanted me to take this job.
(27:36):
I don't know what else to tellyou besides he, he, he gave me a
piece in that regard.
Fast forward in my life, what Ididn't know at the time was a
year, year and a half, intobeing an engineer there, the
Lord would call me into ministry.
Complete change in career paths.
(27:58):
That smaller engineering firmturned out to be absolutely
incredible and perfect for thatchange of trajectory of what the
Lord was doing in my life.
And uh, had I been at a biggerfirm and like so I told them I
(28:19):
was going, uh, that the Lord hadcalled me into ministry and he
helped me transition for sixmonths and all of that, all of
that stuff.
Versus if I had been in abigger firm, he'd have said
here's your slip, here's yournotice, adios.
So I can look back now and seethat the Lord had reasons for
(28:41):
why he was telling me to takethis job and not this job.
And the only way I got therewas I put my yes on the table
and I said, lord, I, I'm goingto use my brain, I'm going to
take this job unless you tell meotherwise.
Okay, you, you can speakfrankly to the Lord.
You can say, god, I'm going towalk through that door unless
(29:06):
you stop me.
All right, god, here I go.
That's fine, guys.
And if he doesn't stop you, Iwant you to have a confidence,
because you're surrendered,right?
Is he your heavenly father?
Okay, then, I want you to havea confidence.
Yeah, it's fine, you can gothrough that door.
(29:36):
So I know a lot of you arefreshmen, you're in high school,
you're, you're looking at.
All right, let's apply this towhat college to take or what
course path to take.
Okay, can I give you, can Igive you an assurance One?
I I know that they want you tohave it figured out when you're,
uh, 15, 14, going into right,and you're like, oh goodness,
(29:59):
yeah, I guess I got to know thatGuess what you don't and
there's way more flexibilityahead than than what you think.
Okay, they're like hey, choosethese five tracks and and you're
off.
And if you happen to be likethe 10% that picks that track,
(30:22):
that just works out for whatthey're going to do the rest of
their life like, praise the Lord, good for you.
But 90% of the people are goingto be wandering around figuring
things out, and that's okay.
I stand before you, a pastor.
You know what I got called tobe a pastor?
Yeah, I was 24.
(30:43):
I've got an engineering degreethat I don't use.
Okay, the Lord has lots of waysof weaving our path to help us
figure and sort through.
And and, by the way, he usedthis engineering degree in
awesome ways to provide for mewhenever I was in seminary as
(31:04):
working part-time and make a lotmore money, part-time engineer,
getting through seminary andthose sorts of things.
But God knew all of that.
So I know we like to havethings planned out, and a lot of
you.
The Lord is stretching you withcontrol.
Okay, and that's okay, becausewhen there's a little mix up in
(31:29):
life and when things get kind ofthrown in the air and you feel
out of control, it forces you topress into the Lord like you
wouldn't at any other time, andthat's actually good for you.
Okay, all right.
Reply back Questions.
Other scenarios that you want tohear me talk about Chase, would
(31:56):
you ever say that there couldbe a scenario where there's like
two doors open and God's sayingdo either one.
Yes, no, 100%.
So great follow-up question.
He said sometimes does it notmatter which door you choose?
Hear me, yes, he's exactlyright.
Sometimes God is literallysaying choose either door, I
(32:19):
don't care, because, in his mind, right, if you, if you're
looking at the path, okay, ifGod wants to get you to here and
there's this path, this path,this path, okay, if God wants to
get you to here and there'sthis path, this path, this path,
what God knows is that thispath actually links up right
there and it's all the same.
And he's like, yeah, I don'tcare If you've surrendered,
(32:42):
right Again, if you're Jonah andyou're like, oh, I heard the
Lord and no, I'm going anyways,right, but if you're like God,
would you lead me, could you?
Could I hear from you?
Ok, I'm not sensing either way,I would absolutely tell you.
Then do what you want to do.
And that's why I said tell God.
All right, god, I'm going to godown this path unless you tell
(33:04):
me otherwise.
Yeah, great, do it.
Good question Others I'm anadult now so my parents don't
make my decisions anymore, butas a high schooler, I'd be
curious your commentary on.
You know, mom and dad think Ineed to go down this path and
(33:29):
I'm 15 and I can't necessarilyjust say, no, you're wrong, I'm
going to go do this other path,right.
So what's the balance?
Let's say, hypothetically, 15year old feels incredibly
convicted on their path.
What's the balance of mom anddad versus what I think is maybe
(33:49):
more correct?
Yeah, what a great question.
Does anyone identify with that?
How to balance between mom anddad?
All right, so everyone'sparental situation is different,
okay, and so there's a lot ofnuance in there.
That's where a lot of that wisecounsel and someone that's
(34:11):
close to the situation that canhelp you walk through, and how
to navigate it.
Okay, one, as you grow andmature, one of the things, one
of the muscles that you reallyneed to develop, is the ability
to communicate, and tocommunicate clearly.
(34:33):
Most of your parents will berather reasonable Okay, if you
can communicate.
Okay, and if they press you,then a lot of times they they
just want you to to be able tothink well and not just give a
(34:57):
surface level answer All right.
So you choosing your careerpath based on the fact that your
buddy is also taking that classright, what are your parents
going to do?
They're going to roll theireyes.
They're going to be like, comeon, you just want to goof off in
that class because your buddy'sin that class.
I can't take you seriously.
(35:19):
But if you begin to articulatedeeper issues, your parents
overwhelmingly want to see yousucceed and you need to be able
to communicate.
And maybe you can't do thatinitially, but a good mentor, a
good person that's a few stepsin front of you that can help
(35:39):
you talk about that.
Go to your parents with good,honest communication.
That would honestly solve about80% of the issues there.
There are complex situationswith complex parents and all my
parents are divorced and mystepdad's a jerk and a lot of
that stuff.
Like I, like I get it and,whether you know it or not, uh,
(36:03):
high school is really short.
High school is really short.
I know you think it's aneternity and you're like, oh my
gosh, it's so hard to becompliant when I'm underneath
their house.
In the perspective of life.
High school really is short.
(36:24):
You can do a lot of things fora short period of time that curb
what you want to do, because inreality you're not an adult,
you don't know the weight ofwhat it means to hold a job and
pay all your own bills and a lotof that stuff.
So you're in the embryonicchamber, you're developing.
(36:46):
You're in the embryonic chamber, you're developing.
So one overwhelmingly.
If you learn to communicateclearly with your parents, that
will go a long way.
Seek a mentor's help in beingable to develop that, and then
it's going to get into kind ofsituational ethics with
different ones.
Does that help?
Yeah, yeah, I wish I had heardthat, because my parents were
(37:10):
divorced and instead I closedoff and separated from both.
I think I turned out fine, butit would have been nice to be
able to go to people that I amaround daily and run that circle
in an appropriate way.
Yeah, see, one of the thingsthat you don't realize yeah, see
, one of the things that youdon't realize especially if you
come from a broken home or youknow there's some complexity
(37:33):
with your parents is hear me,your parents actually want what
is best for you, even if therelationship is a little
strained and confusing.
Okay, and I know you don'talways feel that I'm just
telling you from a parent, and Ideal with a lot of other
(37:53):
parents and a lot of otheradults.
They want what's best for you.
By the way, just on behalf ofall parents.
Sometimes they're in over theirhead as well, over their head
as well.
And see, I had, I had thisvision of of my dad and mom when
(38:13):
I was a teenager, that like, ohman, when you become an adult,
like life just makes sense, likelife is like easy for adults.
Here I am this kid and I don'tknow all that much stuff.
But I look, oh, he must knoweverything.
And then there's this odd thingthat occurs as you get older
and older.
You begin to ask yourself am Ian adult yet?
(38:36):
And inside you say I don'treally feel like an adult
because I certainly don't haveall of those questions answered
that I thought I would have.
But you look down and you'relike dude, you've got three kids
and a job and a mortgage.
You better be an adult by now.
(38:57):
But inside I'm like I don'treally feel like an adult.
I'm like running around withshort shorts and a tank top on
stage, like I don't know thatI'm an adult yet All I'm saying
is the reality is, give yourparents a little slack, because
what you don't know is theyactually are dealing with the
complexities of life also.
(39:18):
But if you communicate with them, so, so, like Jacob, right.
So like in Jacob's.
In Jacob's case, right, hisparents had gone through a
divorce.
They, they, they're.
No one ever gets marriedthinking they they're going to
get divorced.
Right, the reason you getmarried is because you want to
be married for life.
But it broke up, it got ugly.
They have like, oh, how do werelate to each other?
(39:41):
And here's Jacob, and he's likeI'm not going to talk to them
about it.
And and meanwhile, like they'vegot their own mess and they're
trying to do the best that theycan.
Uh, but um, but their teenageson won't talk to him and and
he's closed down.
And they're like all all hewants to do is hang out with his
friends.
He'll never talk to us aboutany of these important issues.
(40:01):
He doesn't think he can talk tothem.
So listen, please hear me, ifyou talk to adults again, find a
good mentor and someone thatwould encourage you, communicate
well to your parents.
It'll actually go a really longway.
Other questions scenarios Tony,what does the scripture tell us
(40:25):
about God's response when, inour ignorance, we start down the
wrong path?
Yeah, great question.
What if you're going down thewrong path?
Okay, I think Scripture tellsyou plainly in Hebrews, chapter
(40:46):
12, that God will discipline you.
If you are God's, he willdiscipline you.
Okay, now that passage isspecifically talking about when
you're sinning.
So if we say wrong path interms of sinning, okay, the Lord
will discipline you.
(41:06):
That's what he preached aboutthis morning in terms of Jonah.
Hear me, that is a good, goodthing, like a really good thing.
If I could put this into yoursoul right now.
Listen, if someone doesn'tdiscipline you, if someone looks
at you and says, I don't carewhat you do, that's actually the
(41:29):
wrath of God.
Okay, remember when he saidthat kids going and running in
the street what is the coldestthing that could be done at that
time To be like, yeah, I don'tcare what you do, I get your
(41:52):
three go run and play in thestreet, I don't care.
To say I don't care is it'shonestly.
That's the wrath of God.
But Hebrews 12 says that Goddisciplines each of his sons and
daughters as his own, okay andso.
So discipline in that sense isusually I mean, think of it like
a spanking.
It's like, oh my gosh, it getsyour attention.
Okay, the Lord will do that,especially in your sin, but also
(42:15):
even if you're choosing, evenif you're choosing a path and
you're like, oh my gosh, Imissed it.
Okay, the Lord will.
The Lord is kind and good, hewill redirect.
Lord is kind and good, he willredirect.
He will, he will bring you backand accomplish all that he
desires with with your life.
(42:35):
Let me tell you a super sadstory.
Um, a guy at my last church hisname is Jim Matlock, uh, he's
like 85.
Okay, and he comes up to me,wants to meet me in my office
after one of the services andmeets me in my office.
And he comes up to me, wants tomeet me in my office after one
of the services and meets me inmy office, and he comes in and
here's what he says to me hesaid God called me to be a
(42:59):
preacher whenever I was 20, andI kind of ran from that, of ran
from that and I think I'vemissed God's call on my entire
life.
Here he is 85, right,no-transcript.
(43:21):
All right, how would yourespond to him?
He's in my office.
He's 85.
Yeah, it's just.
Uh, I think I think the pictureof God from the scripture is is
so so much more clear than that.
That is, look, man, if he, ifhe threw Jonah into a whale to
(43:43):
get, threw Jonah into a whale toget his attention, all right,
and as you were wrestling withGod's calling upon your life,
listen to me, it's not like Godabandoned you for 60 years and
was like he's on the wrong path.
Sucks for him.
Hope he figures it out and getson the right path.
(44:04):
Like no, this is your heavenlyfather.
It's not just leaving you tothe wolves.
Okay, um, so that would be myreply.
He's, he is, and and that'swhat I, that's what I hope to
relieve a little bit when you'relike, oh my gosh, there's five
paths or there's five colleges.
How do I choose the right one?
(44:25):
A lot of times the reality isGod is either saying there's no
right one I'm with you all ofthese, so chill out or there's
some exit ramps along the waythat God intends that he will
(44:47):
even use that mistake.
So you know, people go onesemester to a college.
They're like that was not forme.
They transfer to another one.
I absolutely think that wouldbe 100% in the Lord's will to be
like, yeah, and I was teachingyou through that that you could
trust me even in the exit.
I'm going to close with thisOne of my favorite stories.
(45:12):
I think I'm getting thereference right in like second
Corinthians chapter.
It's two, three or four If Igive a broad enough reference,
you'll you'll know it's forcertain.
All right, paul is Paul is he'swriting to the Corinthians, but
he's telling them about his owntravels and he says I felt God
calling me to go to Troas, okay,to preach the gospel.
(45:40):
And Paul said a door was openedup for me and I went.
Now you got to remember, in theancient world, travel took a
long time, right, it took likethree months to do anything.
And so, uh, you, you got tothink this is, this is like a
six month journey of planningand being like, yes, the Lord
opened a door, I'm supposed togo to Troas, all right.
(46:03):
So he says it in one sentence.
He's like the Lord opened adoor to go preach the gospel to
Troas, he says.
And then I got there and myspirit was unsettled because I
couldn't find Titus.
I don't know what the situationwas.
I guess he thought he knewTitus.
(46:24):
His good buddy, his apprentice,was there and like they were
going to go around together, hesaid I couldn't find Titus.
And so you got to understand.
It's like here's Paul wanderingaround the city like where's
Titus?
Ok, I'm here.
So that probably takes a week.
He's trying to find Titus.
Then he's praying about.
He says, and at the end of thatI was unsettled so I just moved
(46:48):
on to Macedonia.
Now pause for a second here.
You know the apostle Paul sawthe resurrected Lord on the road
to Damascus.
He healed people with hisshadow, raised someone from the
(47:10):
dead.
You guys know that story.
That's a great story.
Paul was preaching.
It was late in the night.
He kept going on and on and on.
This little kid falls out ofthe second story because Paul
had rocked him to sleep, fallsdown dead.
Paul comes down, lays on top ofhim, resurrects him.
And then what does Paul doafter that?
Goes right back to preaching.
(47:32):
You got to love that guy, allright.
So Paul, back in Troas, raisesomeone from the dead.
And yet in this account he tellsyou I felt the Lord opened a
door for me to go and preach thegospel.
But when I got there, my spiritwas unsettled.
And then I moved on and I'mlike hallelujah, you know what?
(47:56):
There's a guy who at times inlife looks like he's just
running around figuring it out,like I think God wants me here
now.
All right, well, I'm going toput my hand to the plow.
No, this isn't where God wantsme, and he moves me, I just.
I point that out becausethere's so much flexibility,
because the Lord is the onewho's with you all the time.
(48:16):
In fact, he ends that sectionUh, second Corinthians four is
what I'm going with.
He ends that sections with andpraise be to God, who always
leads us in triumph in ChristJesus.
Okay, in other words and thisis my close God is with you.
(48:37):
Okay, I've given you somepractical steps how to use your
brain, how to pray about it, howto seek some wise counsel, but
at the end of the day, you getGod himself.
There are so many times when wewant God to give us a roadmap.
(48:58):
Anybody want a roadmap for life.
You know, I actually prayed forthis, I fasted for this coming
out of college.
Okay, I wanted a roadmap for mylife saying God what does it
look like?
And then one day I was at myparents' house and God actually
replied Okay, you want to knowwhat he said?
(49:19):
I don't have to give you one,you just follow me, follow my
word, I promise you.
That's what the Holy Spirit ofGod said to me.
He said I don't have to giveyou a roadmap, I don't got to
tell you what I'm going to do.
Right, and as you can see, likeI was an engineer and then I
was a youth pastor, the Lord'smoved me around and that's what
(49:42):
he will do to you.
Okay, have confidence in that,because in the end of the day,
what you get is God himself.
All right, let's pray, thenwe're done.
Otherwise, I'll keep going onand on and you will fall dead.
Heavenly father, we thank youfor this afternoon.
I pray right now, in Jesus name, that you would give these
students a confidence that yourspirit is with them and that,
(50:05):
yes, they can go through thesepractical steps and God hear
from you in that, that you willgive them a peace and guidance,
but more than anything, god,that they would have a
confidence that you are going tobe with them through the
process.
Right, that they can't screw itup that by seeking you, you
(50:26):
will reveal yourself to them andyou give flexibility and choice
and freedom and you delight inthat and help them to walk in
that freedom.
In Jesus name, we pray Amen.
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