December 17, 2020 • 31 mins
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Meredith Heater
Playing career:
Greenville University Volleyball Player
Coaching:
Multiple Junior College Stops
Fontbonne University
Cincinnati Christian University
Synergy Volleyball Club
Topics:
Player to Coach Communication
Affirmations
Journaling
Expectation Management
Other Resources mentioned:
Grief Recovery Handbook: https://amzn.to/3mtByp8
3 Dimensional Coaching: https://www.fcacoachesacademy.com/
Website: https://www.nkyfca.org/podcast
Instagram: @nkyfca
Twitter: @nkyfca @natesallee24
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NKYFCA
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the coach to coach podcast, episode number 36
game time.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
[inaudible],
Speaker 1 (00:23):
What's going on guys, welcome to the coach to coach
podcast, but we believe everykid deserves a coach that cares,
and every coach deserves someonein their corner.
I'm your host, Nate Sully.
And this podcast is sponsored bythe Northern Kentucky fellowship
of Christian athletes.
I know I say it just about everyepisode, but I just cannot thank
our wonderful team enough ofboard members, of volunteers, of
(00:47):
donors, of our staff, and justso many people that make things
just like this possible.
And thank you for listening.
Take some time out of yourcommute or shoveling snow this
time of year, whatever you gotgoing.
Uh, our goal here is to capturethe collective wisdom that we
have right here in NorthernKentucky, greater Cincinnati and
beyond from coaches and just gettheir story, get lessons learned
(01:12):
and try to get better togetherbecause we can all learn from
one another across all thedifferent years of experience
that we have.
And this episode is nodifferent.
Our guest, this episode isMeredith heater.
Meredith theater has been in thearea for a little over two
years.
I believe it is now.
She has coached at thecollegiate level at, uh, a
(01:33):
couple of different places.
Most recently was CincinnatiChristian university.
And then now she has joinedstaff with FCA, but has 12 years
of collegiate coachingexperience.
And she's coached, uh, girls andboys club volleyball at this
point as well.
And just have some amazingtakeaways.
And I'm looking forward to, uh,getting into this conversation
and seeing what you can learnfrom America.
(01:54):
So I going to put it off anylonger, let's hop right in to
our conversation with Meredith
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Peter.
All right, guys, we are here.
It is.
When we're recording this, it iswinter.
It is cold outside.
So we're going to try to heat itup today.
I bring it on Meredith heater.
Meredith, how are you doingtoday?
I'm doing great.
Nate, how are you doing well,just, uh, finishing up a week.
We're recording on a Friday.
So looking forward to theweekend.
(02:19):
Um, but Hey, just to kind of,kind of get us started, just
give us the history lesson.
You're new to the arearelatively.
Uh, but yeah, just give us thebackground on Meredith kind of
your, your journey and thecoaching and how you got to
where you're at today.
Sure.
Um, so I grew up in Orlando,Florida, um, have been playing
volleyball since I was about 10years old.
(02:42):
Um, started playing inelementary school, um, and moves
through middle school.
High school eventually, um, wasable to play in college at a
small college Christian collegein Greenville, Illinois called
Greenville university.
It was Greenville college backin the day when I was there and,
uh, and played volleyball thereas a middle blocker.
(03:05):
Um, got my first taste ofcoaching while I was still a
student, um, and was able tocoach some local club teams, um,
while I was a college student.
And then, um, right aftercollege ended up coaching
collegiately for about 12 years.
Um, coached a couple ofdifferent junior colleges, spent
(03:25):
six years at tampon universityin St.
Louis, Missouri, which is a Dthree college.
And then recently my husband'sjob and it justice Cincinnati
area.
Um, we live in Northern Kentuckyand I was coaching for
Cincinnati Christian universityfor the past two seasons they're
women's programs.
So I've coached club all alongwith that.
Um, and recently just startedcoaching boys as well with my
(03:48):
son getting into the game and mydaughter plays as well.
So it's kind of a family affair.
My husband actually played, uh,college volleyball as well, um,
for a club men's team.
So kind of runs through all ofus.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Awesome.
Yeah.
You had, uh, yeah, you met, metJohn there at Greenville and he
was golfing there as well.
Right.
So he was, yeah,
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yeah, yeah.
He didn't, he didn't play eitherone as a high school sport and
then he ended up playing both incollege.
He, he did baseball, wrestlingand football in high school and
then switched over to golf andvolleyball in college.
So he's, he's got an interestingstory too.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
That's awesome.
Well, we're super pumped to, uh,to have you not only in the
area, but we'll also mentionyeah.
That, uh, Meredith recently cameon staff here in 2020.
So she came back from hersupport raising trip on March
10th.
And if you know anything aboutmiddle of March of 2020, that's
right before all the COVIDshutdowns.
Uh, so it's been quite the ride,uh, this year.
(04:48):
Um, but we actually met all theway when you were at Cincinnati
Christian at the time and gotthrough, um, I'm trying to
think.
W did you go through the 3d atCCU or is that it?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I did transformational leadership at
CCU, but not really.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So we got partially through that before CCU is now
RIT to CCU great times.
I'm a, I'm a seminary alum thereas well, but they, they shut her
down.
Uh, and now it's just straightBible college, which led you to,
to where you're at now, which isawesome.
You still got to studies insports and still coaching.
So you've had, gosh, you've had12 years of college coaching
(05:28):
experience and then several moreyears with club kind of all
ages, you've played a lot ofstuff.
So what would be some of your,if when you reflect back, what
would be top two to threelessons you've learned over the
years as a coach?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I think the biggest lesson I learned, especially
with the college girls that Icoached, um, was to establish a
relationship early and not justbe the coach to play a
relationship, but really be amentor, be a positive influence
in their life.
Be a sounding board, be a placewhere they can come and just
(06:05):
chat about what's going on withschool or what's going on at
home or, or whatever's going on.
But to really establish thatrelationship with them first,
make sure that they know that Icare about more than just the
skills that they're trying toget better at on the court.
But I care about them as a, as aplayer, as a person, um, as a
young woman, who's trying togrow up to be probably a wife
(06:27):
and a mom in some respects.
Um, and so I just, I really sawmy purpose throughout those
years.
Coaching was to be more thanjust a coach was to reach them
at a heart level is to reachthem in their minds.
Uh, obviously I wanted them tobe better volleyball players,
but I knew that volleyball isessentially going to end at some
(06:49):
point.
I mean, we would all love toplay sports until we're a
hundred years old, but ourbodies usually tell us
otherwise.
And a lot of the athletes Iworked with were not going to go
play professionally.
You know, so college was kind ofthe last step for them.
And I wanted to make sure thatwhatever impact I had on them
was going to carry over off thecourt as well as on the court.
So there were a lot of thingsthat we tried to do in our
(07:11):
program that, that showed themthat, Hey, we, we, we take
interest in who you are.
We take interest in what you'reabout.
Um, how can we help?
How can we be better for eachother?
How can we be better teammatesand better friends?
And how can I be a better coachto you?
So, yeah, there was, there's alot of great things.
Uh, we did over the years.
My favorite was something weprobably started four or five
(07:33):
years ago.
It was called affirmations wherewe just would take an athlete on
every bus trip.
We'd take an athlete andeverybody would go around and
say, just praise them with somekind of affirmation.
Sometimes they were athleticallyrelated, but most of the time it
was personality related or it'sjust something about them that
we really loved and cherished.
(07:54):
And we would take that time andeverybody would say something
hopefully different so thatthey, you know, got, um, you
know, somewhere between 12 and15 different words of
affirmation, um, said to themabout why we appreciated them as
our teammate.
That was one of my favoritetimes I've done it with junior
high kids.
I've done it with college girlsand everything in between.
(08:15):
And everybody seems to reallyenjoy that time together.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah.
It's such a, such a simplething, but such a powerful thing
too.
I know you have to, the thingsthat you've been exposed to,
transformational leadershipcalls and affirmations,
three-dimensional coaching callsit spotlight, but the principles
are the same as like, if we justtook the time to look somebody
in the eye and tell themsomething we appreciate about
them without any like flatteryor, or try to get something from
(08:40):
them.
But just saying something that'sprobably, as you're already
thinking, but just verbalizingit to them.
And that's becoming increasinglyharder these days.
I mean, it's not thatcomfortable even as an adult,
but you think about middleschool, high school, even
college.
I mean, gosh, how muchcommunication is happening and
text at best, maybe FaceTime,but so much of it's like
Snapchat, DMS and everythingelse where it's a full-blown
(09:05):
face-to-face man.
It's just so powerful.
It's simple too.
That's good.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah, that was definitely one of my favorites.
Um, another one that I, I onlydid one year, but I look forward
to doing in the future.
As I, as I coach some club teamswas journaling.
We passed out these tiny little,uh, kind of like composition
notebooks, but they were onlyabout three by four inches.
So it's something they couldthrow easily in their backpack
and, and keep with us as wetraveled.
(09:29):
And, and at first it started outas, you know, a way for them to
write down their goals, kind ofkeep track of some things that
they wanted to focus on.
Uh, we had a word a week that wewould focus on as a team.
So at the beginning of theseason, we came up with about,
you know, 10, 10 words that wewanted to describe us as a team
and to develop our culturearound.
(09:49):
And then we would focus on one aweek.
Um, and so sometimes those goalswould be related to that word of
the week.
Sometimes those goals would berelated to a teamwork plane and
what kind of stats they wantedto get.
And then it turned into just an,another place for them to
express themselves in thejournal.
So we would, we would say, Hey,we just had a really rough
practice or a really tough loss.
(10:11):
And I just want you to expressyour feelings and we didn't
collect those often.
But when we did as coaches, wewould write back to them also
and just kind of give them thefeedback that sometimes they
need, they needed to see onpaper.
And a lot of it was positivefeedback.
We just, again, we wanted togive them those affirmations
that we wanted them to havesomething they could reference
(10:31):
back to and be like, okay, mycoach really does see me doing
this in practice and, and, um,and, and they see the
improvement that I've had frombeginning of season till now.
And, um, it just allowed usanother way to communicate,
because I felt like sometimes inthe middle of practice, some of
those short little things that Iwould say were going in one ear
and out the other, whereas ifthey had something to reference
(10:52):
back to, um, I thought thatwould be better in the long run.
And it, it definitely opened upa lot of communication with,
with seeing what some playerswere feeling and how they were
reacting to the way some peoplewere talking to them in practice
and ways we could make thingsbetter.
So it was, it was definitelyeye-opening and something I'm
gonna use in the future.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
That's great.
Just to have that feedback loop.
I remember being exposedrecently to a guy who's a CEO in
Cincinnati, but he did a reallybig, deep dive, even wrote a
book about millennial engagementin the workplace.
So we could just transfer thismillennial engagement in
athletics or younger, but hesaid so much of previous
generations assumed they weredoing a good job unless they
(11:32):
were told otherwise, whereasmillennials and younger assume
they're doing a bad job untilthey're being told that they're
doing, what's being asked ofthem.
That there'd be a notice fordoing the right things.
And I don't know about you, butI see that play out at time.
The assumption of worst casescenario happens a lot and we
can fight it.
We can hate it, whatever youlike, but I think that's just
(11:55):
the reality that we need to dealwith.
And I think that's a great wayto do it.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah.
That's very interesting.
I'll have to pay a little morecloser attention to my
millennials and younger peoplein my life.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Uh, any other, any other toplessons from your time?
Yeah,
Speaker 3 (12:13):
I think so.
The other thing that we justenjoyed was, um, having time
together off the court, um, andI know 3d talks about check-ins
or drop-ins maybe in visiting,visiting your student athletes
at home.
And that was a little difficultcause all my student athletes
lived on campus, but I tried tomake it a point to, you know,
meet them outside of the gym andoutside of my office during
(12:36):
season, whether we go to coffeeor dinner or, um, or, or just
chat one night when we'retraveling down in the hotel
lobby and checking in on, youknow, the boyfriend situation or
the parents or the school,whatever that is.
Um, having some, some of thatone-on-one time where we could
just be friends essentially.
Cause once they graduated myprogram, I mean, they were 22
(12:58):
and I did see them as a friendand obviously I wanted to be a
mentor in one capacity, but Iwanted, I wanted them to see me
as a friend, um, just goingthrough a different stage of
life, um, which I was for themajority of my career.
And so I look back now and, um,it's just awesome to see all my
former players having kids andget married and starting their
(13:21):
career and investing back intocoaching and seeing that
coaching tree is awesome.
Um, and you know, sometimesthey'll reach out and they're
like, how do you deal with this?
What would you do in thissituation?
And I'm just glad that they,they feel like they can still
reach out to me, even thoughit's been, you know, 12, 13, 14
years since, you know, we've hada relationship as coach and
(13:42):
player.
So that's been awesome.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Well, especially the college agents that I've heard
it references, it's that laststop at the train station before
the real world hits.
It's like this interesting inbetween ground where there are
quote unquote out of the house,but it's that last season of
life before they're fully kindof flying on their own.
And it's really cool to kind oftransition them then.
Well, so speaking of you saidthat they reached out to you
like, man, this is coming in.
(14:05):
How did you deal with this?
Let's talk about some of thechallenges that you've had.
What have been some of thehardest points where you're
like, man, why am I even doingthis, you know, concept?
I'm sure you've probably thoughtabout quitting at different
times.
Like what's been some of thosereally, really challenging
times.
And how did you get out of it?
Gosh,
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Uh, the first one that comes to mind is parents as
a college coach, you wouldthink, Oh, I don't have a lot
of, you know, input from parentsand, or a lot of interaction.
And, and I, I had some greatparents along the way who I
consider friends, um, who aregreat support, but I also had,
you know, one or two that ruinedit for a season, um, because
(14:45):
their expectation was differentthan, than what I was doing.
Um, and so they had anexpectation, you know, their
daughter would play this amountof time or was this good and was
offered these, thesescholarships.
So that should translate intoour program as her being a
starter or six rotation playeror whatever their expectation
was.
(15:05):
And, and I wasn't living up tothat, you know, we've, we had
some conversations, um, I alwaystold the players, you know, you,
you come to me if you have anissue and most of them did.
Um, and then there was usually aparent that would kind of step
around that line and, or crossthat line and around that
boundary.
And, and I would let them know,Hey, I will, I'll have this
(15:25):
conversation with your daughter.
She's an adult.
And I respect how you feel, andI appreciate you bringing it to
my attention, but it's aconversation for her and I to
have, um, personally, and sheknows the expectations I have
for her.
I meet with each of my, mystudents multiple times through
the season that says, Hey,here's the areas I want you to
improve.
If you're looking to get moreplaying time, this is a way you
(15:47):
can do that.
So I felt like I'd laid out myexpectations, um, correctly.
And most parents after thatinitial contact of them being
able to get whatever they hadoff their chest, didn't say
anything else.
Um, I think I had one instancewhere she quit in the middle of
the season a week or two beforethe season ended.
And dad went off on my ID in theparking lot.
(16:10):
Um, but those were few and farbetween over the course of 12
years.
And, um, and so, you know, Ithink just being honest and
having those face-to-face, uh,conversations, it's tough, but
to let them know that you atleast heard them, um, and that
you're willing to have theconversation with their daughter
that I guess that's the biggesttakeaway I got from those hard
(16:31):
experiences, um, that I feellike screenplay over.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah.
Well, it sounds like you took,you went on the offense on that.
It's probably a big reason whyyou only had so few of those
interactions because you werethe expectation manager, just
like your saying is so key.
It's like putting that out onthe front end, revisiting those,
it kind of goes, goes what wewere talking about.
Like there's no assumptions onwhere they stand, if you're
communicating consistently,like, okay, here's where you're
(16:58):
at.
Here's what you need to do toimprove, to play more like all
of that really helps I thinkminimize the, the hard ones.
And like you said, trying tofunnel everything towards that.
One-on-one face-to-faceinteraction as much as he can.
I'm sure there's a lot of goodas well.
Yeah.
A lot of times.
Yeah.
It's amazing what can happen ifthey get that one at one kind of
(17:20):
spot for your chest?
Do you handle that well?
And then how many times, I mean,I'm sure it was tempting to just
fire right back and I'm gonnamultiply it so well done on kind
of going through that.
Any other, any other likechallenges or low points, I'm
sure there's several, but any ofthem that kind of rise to the
top on your mind?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Yeah.
I mean, the, the experience withCCU closing was probably the
toughest thing that I wentthrough, um, trying to deal like
it was, it was really odd afterwe got the news, it was like
October 30th of 2019, when wewere called into the chapel, um,
they told the staff and facultyat the same time that an email
(18:02):
went to the students.
And so in the middle of thischapel, I'm finding out that I
don't have a job as of Decemberor, or possibly sooner, a lot of
coaches were let go sooner.
Um, our seasons still had twoweekends of travel.
Wasn't sure that was going tohappen.
And then the girls start textingme cause they're freaking out.
And I'm like, Hey, I'm findingout just like you, I will, I
(18:22):
will.
As soon as I get out of here,we'll meet at so and so's house,
which was a house on campus.
But like the days after that, itwas, it was like a few role on
campus.
It was, it was really tough todeal with the grief.
And I think anybody that's hadsome kind of tragedy, um, if you
will, on your team, um, youknow, has, has been through
(18:44):
something like that where youhave to, and this is when those
one-on-one relationships areimportant where you'd have to
just rally around them and youhave to cry with them and you
have to hug them and you'd haveto say, I will help you in any
way that I can, which was all Icould do.
You know, I, I helped them getto places if they wanted to keep
playing, then I helped them, youknow, find a place to play and
get transferred.
(19:04):
And, um, and I was there forthem to say, yeah, I know the
stinks.
Like I know the situation ishorrible and I'm sorry, and I
wish I could do more to help youto help you.
And I'll do everything I can tomake this transition better for
you.
Um, but in the midst of that,grieving myself, knowing, okay,
is coaching, you know, iscoaching mending for me?
(19:25):
I thought I did this my wholecareer.
And now I'm like, I don't know.
Maybe God has something else instore for me around the corner,
but it's so crazy not knowingwhat that is.
So I really would say that thatseason of my life was really,
really hard.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah.
And yeah, it's something that,gosh, this is like a coach coach
podcast, but I think grief andloss is a really relevant thing
to, to give a little bit ofattention to, because how often,
not only when you have terribletragedies where your, your
athletes might've, you know,there might be a student that,
(19:58):
that passes away, um, that's attheir school or a close
relative, or honestly just kindof the, the loss of either a
season or the end of theircareer, whatever that is.
There's just a level of, ofgrief.
That's inevitable.
It might be varying degrees, butloss is going to happen in our
(20:20):
athletes lives.
And how do we help walk themthrough that?
I think is a really, really keything.
And, and you can't do thatunless you have the relationship
like you were talking about.
So that, that that's phenomenalthat you kind of have that
foundation to mourn when theywere mourning.
And then I'm sure I know youcelebrated what the, when they
were, when you won matches, butthere's now those different
times for everything.
And literally be with himthrough that.
(20:41):
I think that the presence ispowerful in that sense.
And I'll just give a quick plugbefore switch on.
There was a book I went throughthat I had some personal growth
in after the loss of my dad at21.
It was years later, I went tothis book called the grief
recovery method, I think is theexact term.
We can link it in thedescription, but I went through
(21:02):
that process and there wassomething that I w I would say I
was, I was mostly, I was totallylike functioning and felt like I
had grieved for the most part,but I felt like there was a
small section.
It was kind of over in thecorner that hadn't been quite
cleaned out yet.
You know, it was like, I wouldsay about 15 to 20% of my, of my
grief, you know, the griefgetting to a hundred percent
(21:22):
wasn't quite there.
Um, and going through thatprocess of like, okay, fully
reflecting on it, learning fromit, completing it, and then
moving on.
Um, I think there's, there'ssome, obviously there's going to
be some wounds there, but, um,but to help people kind of get
the most out of it, I can getcan guy can use everything.
(21:43):
You can redeem even the hardeststuff.
So not discounting the painthat's happening at the moment,
but also coaching them through,Hey, this, you know, God's
teaching you something, there'sanother door opening.
We just can't see it yet.
And having to haven't had thecourage to keep going as is a
really important thing for, forvolleyball and then later in
life, too.
So that's awesome.
Well, sweet, w you have, you'vegone through a three-dimensional
(22:05):
coaching and we've referencedthat already.
A couple of times now have ledmultiple people through it, as
well as being one of our awesomestaff members.
So now having gone through it,and you're currently a coach
now, and you're kind ofprocessing this in real time on
what you're going to implementin the future, what would be, uh
, just any feedback or maintakeaways from the
three-dimensional coachingtraining that you went through?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Um, a couple of the things that I really loved about
the training, um, that were,that were new to me was, um, was
the purpose statement, thepurpose statement for a coach to
something for them to, you know,focus back on and why we're
doing what we're doing,especially when those hard
moments come or that that parentgets angry with us, or that,
(22:49):
that player, you know, um, mouseoff at us or whatever it might
be that, that we strugglethrough.
It makes us want to quit comingback to that purpose.
Why am I doing what I'm doing?
Why is the Lord led me here,called me here?
And, um, and being able to focuson that I thought was really
good and it helps.
It really just helped me to kindof form my thoughts and focus,
(23:09):
um, on, okay, what are thespecific things that I want to
pass on to these players?
Because I have hopefully apositive impact on their life
during the season.
So that was one thing that Ijust loved about 3d coaching.
Um, a lot of the, um, the planthat they give you at the end to
the different things that youcan implement were some things
(23:30):
that I'd already done.
And then, um, like the one wordoption I love that, um, turned
to, to come up with one word tofocus on, um, for the year or
for the season, or maybe it'sone word per player, having some
of those discussions on about,Hey, what do we want to get out
of the season?
Hey, what's your focus for this?
How can we encourage one anotherto be better teammate?
(23:53):
Um, I'm all about those things,but I felt like 3d really gave
you the tools and the plan goinginto your season or going into
your off season.
Even, there was a lot ofdifferent things about serving
together and things like that,but I'd always had in the back
of my head, Hey, these are greatideas.
Okay.
How do I, how do I decide whichones are right for, and which
ones are right for right now oroff season or in season or post
(24:14):
season.
Um, and so I think it reallyhelped me just kind of make a,
like a, a yearly plan and beable to carry that out in the
future.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Yeah, that's great.
Well, and to be intentional onthat, because if we're, if we're
not proactive there and have aplan, there's so many coaches
I've talked to, they're like, Ohman, I would've loved to have
done X, Y, or Z, or I even hadattended to, but in the coaching
world, I mean, mass distractionsare coming your way constantly.
There's so many different thingsthat can be pulling you away,
(24:44):
but to just take that time to,to map out a whole year, then,
then it's just a matter ofexecuting on it versus like, Oh,
there's all this stuff.
Sounds really good.
I hope I can get to it, but it,it, it seems much more doable
when it's down to pen and paper.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
That's really good stuff.
Well, Hey, we also want to getbetter.
We want to grow, but we alsowant to take a second to have at
once while to have some fun onhere.
So is there a time or a storythat you have that you look back
and you're like, Oh man, that'sgotta be one of the top
embarrassing moments or one ofthose times where I just could
not stop laughing.
It was going on.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Um, I definitely have some of those, uh, traveling
with the girls on a charter bus,um, you know, 10, 15 times a
season led to lots of memorablemoments and lots of time
together.
Um, one of our favorite thingsto do besides watching movies
was to play heads up, um, on ourphones.
So it's, uh, it's, uh, a gameand an app where you hold your
(25:43):
phone on your forehead and, um,everybody else shouts clues at
you, you're trying to get theword on your forehead.
And we would play that often.
And, um, I, I rememberspecifically this one time, one
of my players, Megan was, wasdoing, um, heads up and she
wasn't holding on and somethinghappened on the bus.
I don't know if they hit thebrakes or took a turn.
(26:04):
And she just went flying across,across the charter bus and into
a window.
And, um, and the rest of usjust, you know, lost it and she
popped up.
She wasn't by keep going, youknow?
And so we just, we had lots ofmemories like that.
Um, just playing games andenjoying each other's company on
(26:24):
the bus and, um,
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Just heads up.
She was literally having to gether head back up to float across
on this.
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Yes, exactly.
Awesome time.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah.
Uh, yeah, just to kind of, justto kind of wrap up a little, if
you were to consider Meredith asa college student and just
getting started with coaching,what would you tell her as far
as something you wish you knewthen that, you know now?
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Oh gosh.
Uh, so much stuff.
Um, I think the biggest thingwould be start those one-on-one
meetings immediately.
Um, I think when I was youngerand, uh, I was so focused on the
volleyball and I was so focusedon, I got to get these girls in
the same gym.
I gotta see what we have.
I gotta see what we need to workon.
(27:17):
And I was so focused on theskills and the volleyball and
the preseason, the training,trying to get us ready for that
first game.
Um, but I really do think thatthe relationships have to come
first.
I think the trust and thebuilding up happens after the
relationship happens.
So I think the more, um, themore one-on-one meetings you can
(27:37):
have leading up to your seasonis awesome.
The more you can show them thatyou care, who hear what they're
going through, you'd find outwhat else is going on in their
life, what their family's like,the more you can invest in them
as a person.
I think it really helps on the,on the backside, um, with when,
when you challenge them on thecourt or on the field.
(27:58):
And when you challenge them, youknow, to give, to give you
everything and to run through abrick wall for you, they're
going to do that.
And if they have thatrelationship with you, um, if
you've just hammered them insidethe gym the whole time, it might
not happen as well.
Just depends on the athlete Iguess.
But I do really think thatrelationships are key.
And I think I learned that thehard way a couple, couple of
(28:20):
years down the road, not fromthe very beginning.
So, um, so I that's, that's whatI would tell my younger self,
for sure.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah.
That's powerful staff and justan encouragement.
If you're a sport that has alarger roster than nine to 12
girls on there, Hey mate, youknow, divide and conquer, you
know, it's okay if you have astaff for a reason.
So if it's football team, youknow, position coaches, like
that's kind of, there'll beoverwhelmed as a head coach for
those head coaches listeningthat you, you know, therefore I
(28:49):
need to have one-on-ones withall 60 coaches.
I mean, there was a, you know,there there's some, there's some
things that you can do, one headcoach to the whole 60 football
players or archery team orwhatever, or the track team or
whatever.
But a lot of times it's, youhave those different spots where
you can focus in on it.
Um, and you know, don't, don'tlet this be an overwhelming
burden.
Let it be something that, thathopefully you can enjoy to just
(29:11):
find a way, pick something andgo with it.
Uh, and I think it would be, youknow, you'll have the long-term
impact of relationally, but alsoat the end of the day, I think
the short term resultsathletically will come as well.
Well, Meredith we, we appreciatetaking time wrapping up,
wrapping up a quarantine withthe fam all sorts of stuff.
We're just rolling with thepunches during Popa times and
(29:34):
just grateful to have gratefulto have you on staff.
And I know you've already made adifference in the lives of
people here in NorthernKentucky, greater Cincinnati,
and then, uh, already plugged inhard way.
Um, making a difference incoaches here at another
Kentucky.
So just thanks for all that youdo and, and your heart to, uh,
continue to, to answer the callthat God has on your life.
(29:56):
Thank you.
I appreciate the time to share.
Yep.
Excellent.
Well, have a good one.
We'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Thanks.
[inaudible]
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Well, there, you have it guys.
Our conversation with coachMeredith heater, super grateful
for her coming onto the show.
I love what she had to say aboutbuilding trust with our players,
laying that foundation andhaving that expectation
management, that open line ofcommunication and how that can
make a ton of difference on andoff the court.
So thanks again for, for sharingthose nuggets of wisdom.
(30:33):
Well, Hey, I don't know aboutyou, but 2020 has been a bear.
A lot of really, reallychallenging things.
A lot of really, really goodthings we could celebrate as
well.
That may not be getting pushedout as much, but I'm looking
forward to 2021 as you probablyare as well.
One thing we want to put on yourradar is the FCA coaches
challenge.
You can go to FCA coaches,challenged.org and sign up.
(30:57):
You can join hundreds of othercoaches across the state, across
the country who are going to bereading through the new
Testament through 2021 together,it'll be a synchronized breeding
plan.
They'll send you an email onSunday once a week to give you
the breeding plan for that week.
You can also sign up for a dailytext reminder for the passage
for that day.
And we know when the leader getsbetter, everybody gets better.
(31:20):
This would be a great way togrow personally and spiritually.
And I got to tell you, I know itwould be a blessing to you and
you would not be alone to bejoining hundreds of other
countries.
So FCA coaches challenge.
This is the coach to coach podcast, episode number 36
game time.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
[inaudible],
Speaker 1 (00:23):
What's going on guys, welcome to the coach to coach
podcast, but we believe everykid deserves a coach that cares,
and every coach deserves someonein their corner.
I'm your host, Nate Sully.
And this podcast is sponsored bythe Northern Kentucky fellowship
of Christian athletes.
I know I say it just about everyepisode, but I just cannot thank
our wonderful team enough ofboard members, of volunteers, of
(00:47):
donors, of our staff, and justso many people that make things
just like this possible.
And thank you for listening.
Take some time out of yourcommute or shoveling snow this
time of year, whatever you gotgoing.
Uh, our goal here is to capturethe collective wisdom that we
have right here in NorthernKentucky, greater Cincinnati and
beyond from coaches and just gettheir story, get lessons learned
(01:12):
and try to get better togetherbecause we can all learn from
one another across all thedifferent years of experience
that we have.
And this episode is nodifferent.
Our guest, this episode isMeredith heater.
Meredith theater has been in thearea for a little over two
years.
I believe it is now.
She has coached at thecollegiate level at, uh, a
(01:33):
couple of different places.
Most recently was CincinnatiChristian university.
And then now she has joinedstaff with FCA, but has 12 years
of collegiate coachingexperience.
And she's coached, uh, girls andboys club volleyball at this
point as well.
And just have some amazingtakeaways.
And I'm looking forward to, uh,getting into this conversation
and seeing what you can learnfrom America.
(01:54):
So I going to put it off anylonger, let's hop right in to
our conversation with Meredith
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Peter.
All right, guys, we are here.
It is.
When we're recording this, it iswinter.
It is cold outside.
So we're going to try to heat itup today.
I bring it on Meredith heater.
Meredith, how are you doingtoday?
I'm doing great.
Nate, how are you doing well,just, uh, finishing up a week.
We're recording on a Friday.
So looking forward to theweekend.
(02:19):
Um, but Hey, just to kind of,kind of get us started, just
give us the history lesson.
You're new to the arearelatively.
Uh, but yeah, just give us thebackground on Meredith kind of
your, your journey and thecoaching and how you got to
where you're at today.
Sure.
Um, so I grew up in Orlando,Florida, um, have been playing
volleyball since I was about 10years old.
(02:42):
Um, started playing inelementary school, um, and moves
through middle school.
High school eventually, um, wasable to play in college at a
small college Christian collegein Greenville, Illinois called
Greenville university.
It was Greenville college backin the day when I was there and,
uh, and played volleyball thereas a middle blocker.
(03:05):
Um, got my first taste ofcoaching while I was still a
student, um, and was able tocoach some local club teams, um,
while I was a college student.
And then, um, right aftercollege ended up coaching
collegiately for about 12 years.
Um, coached a couple ofdifferent junior colleges, spent
(03:25):
six years at tampon universityin St.
Louis, Missouri, which is a Dthree college.
And then recently my husband'sjob and it justice Cincinnati
area.
Um, we live in Northern Kentuckyand I was coaching for
Cincinnati Christian universityfor the past two seasons they're
women's programs.
So I've coached club all alongwith that.
Um, and recently just startedcoaching boys as well with my
(03:48):
son getting into the game and mydaughter plays as well.
So it's kind of a family affair.
My husband actually played, uh,college volleyball as well, um,
for a club men's team.
So kind of runs through all ofus.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Awesome.
Yeah.
You had, uh, yeah, you met, metJohn there at Greenville and he
was golfing there as well.
Right.
So he was, yeah,
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yeah, yeah.
He didn't, he didn't play eitherone as a high school sport and
then he ended up playing both incollege.
He, he did baseball, wrestlingand football in high school and
then switched over to golf andvolleyball in college.
So he's, he's got an interestingstory too.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
That's awesome.
Well, we're super pumped to, uh,to have you not only in the
area, but we'll also mentionyeah.
That, uh, Meredith recently cameon staff here in 2020.
So she came back from hersupport raising trip on March
10th.
And if you know anything aboutmiddle of March of 2020, that's
right before all the COVIDshutdowns.
Uh, so it's been quite the ride,uh, this year.
(04:48):
Um, but we actually met all theway when you were at Cincinnati
Christian at the time and gotthrough, um, I'm trying to
think.
W did you go through the 3d atCCU or is that it?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I did transformational leadership at
CCU, but not really.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So we got partially through that before CCU is now
RIT to CCU great times.
I'm a, I'm a seminary alum thereas well, but they, they shut her
down.
Uh, and now it's just straightBible college, which led you to,
to where you're at now, which isawesome.
You still got to studies insports and still coaching.
So you've had, gosh, you've had12 years of college coaching
(05:28):
experience and then several moreyears with club kind of all
ages, you've played a lot ofstuff.
So what would be some of your,if when you reflect back, what
would be top two to threelessons you've learned over the
years as a coach?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I think the biggest lesson I learned, especially
with the college girls that Icoached, um, was to establish a
relationship early and not justbe the coach to play a
relationship, but really be amentor, be a positive influence
in their life.
Be a sounding board, be a placewhere they can come and just
(06:05):
chat about what's going on withschool or what's going on at
home or, or whatever's going on.
But to really establish thatrelationship with them first,
make sure that they know that Icare about more than just the
skills that they're trying toget better at on the court.
But I care about them as a, as aplayer, as a person, um, as a
young woman, who's trying togrow up to be probably a wife
(06:27):
and a mom in some respects.
Um, and so I just, I really sawmy purpose throughout those
years.
Coaching was to be more thanjust a coach was to reach them
at a heart level is to reachthem in their minds.
Uh, obviously I wanted them tobe better volleyball players,
but I knew that volleyball isessentially going to end at some
(06:49):
point.
I mean, we would all love toplay sports until we're a
hundred years old, but ourbodies usually tell us
otherwise.
And a lot of the athletes Iworked with were not going to go
play professionally.
You know, so college was kind ofthe last step for them.
And I wanted to make sure thatwhatever impact I had on them
was going to carry over off thecourt as well as on the court.
So there were a lot of thingsthat we tried to do in our
(07:11):
program that, that showed themthat, Hey, we, we, we take
interest in who you are.
We take interest in what you'reabout.
Um, how can we help?
How can we be better for eachother?
How can we be better teammatesand better friends?
And how can I be a better coachto you?
So, yeah, there was, there's alot of great things.
Uh, we did over the years.
My favorite was something weprobably started four or five
(07:33):
years ago.
It was called affirmations wherewe just would take an athlete on
every bus trip.
We'd take an athlete andeverybody would go around and
say, just praise them with somekind of affirmation.
Sometimes they were athleticallyrelated, but most of the time it
was personality related or it'sjust something about them that
we really loved and cherished.
(07:54):
And we would take that time andeverybody would say something
hopefully different so thatthey, you know, got, um, you
know, somewhere between 12 and15 different words of
affirmation, um, said to themabout why we appreciated them as
our teammate.
That was one of my favoritetimes I've done it with junior
high kids.
I've done it with college girlsand everything in between.
(08:15):
And everybody seems to reallyenjoy that time together.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah.
It's such a, such a simplething, but such a powerful thing
too.
I know you have to, the thingsthat you've been exposed to,
transformational leadershipcalls and affirmations,
three-dimensional coaching callsit spotlight, but the principles
are the same as like, if we justtook the time to look somebody
in the eye and tell themsomething we appreciate about
them without any like flatteryor, or try to get something from
(08:40):
them.
But just saying something that'sprobably, as you're already
thinking, but just verbalizingit to them.
And that's becoming increasinglyharder these days.
I mean, it's not thatcomfortable even as an adult,
but you think about middleschool, high school, even
college.
I mean, gosh, how muchcommunication is happening and
text at best, maybe FaceTime,but so much of it's like
Snapchat, DMS and everythingelse where it's a full-blown
(09:05):
face-to-face man.
It's just so powerful.
It's simple too.
That's good.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah, that was definitely one of my favorites.
Um, another one that I, I onlydid one year, but I look forward
to doing in the future.
As I, as I coach some club teamswas journaling.
We passed out these tiny little,uh, kind of like composition
notebooks, but they were onlyabout three by four inches.
So it's something they couldthrow easily in their backpack
and, and keep with us as wetraveled.
(09:29):
And, and at first it started outas, you know, a way for them to
write down their goals, kind ofkeep track of some things that
they wanted to focus on.
Uh, we had a word a week that wewould focus on as a team.
So at the beginning of theseason, we came up with about,
you know, 10, 10 words that wewanted to describe us as a team
and to develop our culturearound.
(09:49):
And then we would focus on one aweek.
Um, and so sometimes those goalswould be related to that word of
the week.
Sometimes those goals would berelated to a teamwork plane and
what kind of stats they wantedto get.
And then it turned into just an,another place for them to
express themselves in thejournal.
So we would, we would say, Hey,we just had a really rough
practice or a really tough loss.
(10:11):
And I just want you to expressyour feelings and we didn't
collect those often.
But when we did as coaches, wewould write back to them also
and just kind of give them thefeedback that sometimes they
need, they needed to see onpaper.
And a lot of it was positivefeedback.
We just, again, we wanted togive them those affirmations
that we wanted them to havesomething they could reference
(10:31):
back to and be like, okay, mycoach really does see me doing
this in practice and, and, um,and, and they see the
improvement that I've had frombeginning of season till now.
And, um, it just allowed usanother way to communicate,
because I felt like sometimes inthe middle of practice, some of
those short little things that Iwould say were going in one ear
and out the other, whereas ifthey had something to reference
(10:52):
back to, um, I thought thatwould be better in the long run.
And it, it definitely opened upa lot of communication with,
with seeing what some playerswere feeling and how they were
reacting to the way some peoplewere talking to them in practice
and ways we could make thingsbetter.
So it was, it was definitelyeye-opening and something I'm
gonna use in the future.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
That's great.
Just to have that feedback loop.
I remember being exposedrecently to a guy who's a CEO in
Cincinnati, but he did a reallybig, deep dive, even wrote a
book about millennial engagementin the workplace.
So we could just transfer thismillennial engagement in
athletics or younger, but hesaid so much of previous
generations assumed they weredoing a good job unless they
(11:32):
were told otherwise, whereasmillennials and younger assume
they're doing a bad job untilthey're being told that they're
doing, what's being asked ofthem.
That there'd be a notice fordoing the right things.
And I don't know about you, butI see that play out at time.
The assumption of worst casescenario happens a lot and we
can fight it.
We can hate it, whatever youlike, but I think that's just
(11:55):
the reality that we need to dealwith.
And I think that's a great wayto do it.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah.
That's very interesting.
I'll have to pay a little morecloser attention to my
millennials and younger peoplein my life.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Uh, any other, any other toplessons from your time?
Yeah,
Speaker 3 (12:13):
I think so.
The other thing that we justenjoyed was, um, having time
together off the court, um, andI know 3d talks about check-ins
or drop-ins maybe in visiting,visiting your student athletes
at home.
And that was a little difficultcause all my student athletes
lived on campus, but I tried tomake it a point to, you know,
meet them outside of the gym andoutside of my office during
(12:36):
season, whether we go to coffeeor dinner or, um, or, or just
chat one night when we'retraveling down in the hotel
lobby and checking in on, youknow, the boyfriend situation or
the parents or the school,whatever that is.
Um, having some, some of thatone-on-one time where we could
just be friends essentially.
Cause once they graduated myprogram, I mean, they were 22
(12:58):
and I did see them as a friendand obviously I wanted to be a
mentor in one capacity, but Iwanted, I wanted them to see me
as a friend, um, just goingthrough a different stage of
life, um, which I was for themajority of my career.
And so I look back now and, um,it's just awesome to see all my
former players having kids andget married and starting their
(13:21):
career and investing back intocoaching and seeing that
coaching tree is awesome.
Um, and you know, sometimesthey'll reach out and they're
like, how do you deal with this?
What would you do in thissituation?
And I'm just glad that they,they feel like they can still
reach out to me, even thoughit's been, you know, 12, 13, 14
years since, you know, we've hada relationship as coach and
(13:42):
player.
So that's been awesome.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Well, especially the college agents that I've heard
it references, it's that laststop at the train station before
the real world hits.
It's like this interesting inbetween ground where there are
quote unquote out of the house,but it's that last season of
life before they're fully kindof flying on their own.
And it's really cool to kind oftransition them then.
Well, so speaking of you saidthat they reached out to you
like, man, this is coming in.
(14:05):
How did you deal with this?
Let's talk about some of thechallenges that you've had.
What have been some of thehardest points where you're
like, man, why am I even doingthis, you know, concept?
I'm sure you've probably thoughtabout quitting at different
times.
Like what's been some of thosereally, really challenging
times.
And how did you get out of it?
Gosh,
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Uh, the first one that comes to mind is parents as
a college coach, you wouldthink, Oh, I don't have a lot
of, you know, input from parentsand, or a lot of interaction.
And, and I, I had some greatparents along the way who I
consider friends, um, who aregreat support, but I also had,
you know, one or two that ruinedit for a season, um, because
(14:45):
their expectation was differentthan, than what I was doing.
Um, and so they had anexpectation, you know, their
daughter would play this amountof time or was this good and was
offered these, thesescholarships.
So that should translate intoour program as her being a
starter or six rotation playeror whatever their expectation
was.
(15:05):
And, and I wasn't living up tothat, you know, we've, we had
some conversations, um, I alwaystold the players, you know, you,
you come to me if you have anissue and most of them did.
Um, and then there was usually aparent that would kind of step
around that line and, or crossthat line and around that
boundary.
And, and I would let them know,Hey, I will, I'll have this
(15:25):
conversation with your daughter.
She's an adult.
And I respect how you feel, andI appreciate you bringing it to
my attention, but it's aconversation for her and I to
have, um, personally, and sheknows the expectations I have
for her.
I meet with each of my, mystudents multiple times through
the season that says, Hey,here's the areas I want you to
improve.
If you're looking to get moreplaying time, this is a way you
(15:47):
can do that.
So I felt like I'd laid out myexpectations, um, correctly.
And most parents after thatinitial contact of them being
able to get whatever they hadoff their chest, didn't say
anything else.
Um, I think I had one instancewhere she quit in the middle of
the season a week or two beforethe season ended.
And dad went off on my ID in theparking lot.
(16:10):
Um, but those were few and farbetween over the course of 12
years.
And, um, and so, you know, Ithink just being honest and
having those face-to-face, uh,conversations, it's tough, but
to let them know that you atleast heard them, um, and that
you're willing to have theconversation with their daughter
that I guess that's the biggesttakeaway I got from those hard
(16:31):
experiences, um, that I feellike screenplay over.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Yeah.
Well, it sounds like you took,you went on the offense on that.
It's probably a big reason whyyou only had so few of those
interactions because you werethe expectation manager, just
like your saying is so key.
It's like putting that out onthe front end, revisiting those,
it kind of goes, goes what wewere talking about.
Like there's no assumptions onwhere they stand, if you're
communicating consistently,like, okay, here's where you're
(16:58):
at.
Here's what you need to do toimprove, to play more like all
of that really helps I thinkminimize the, the hard ones.
And like you said, trying tofunnel everything towards that.
One-on-one face-to-faceinteraction as much as he can.
I'm sure there's a lot of goodas well.
Yeah.
A lot of times.
Yeah.
It's amazing what can happen ifthey get that one at one kind of
(17:20):
spot for your chest?
Do you handle that well?
And then how many times, I mean,I'm sure it was tempting to just
fire right back and I'm gonnamultiply it so well done on kind
of going through that.
Any other, any other likechallenges or low points, I'm
sure there's several, but any ofthem that kind of rise to the
top on your mind?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Yeah.
I mean, the, the experience withCCU closing was probably the
toughest thing that I wentthrough, um, trying to deal like
it was, it was really odd afterwe got the news, it was like
October 30th of 2019, when wewere called into the chapel, um,
they told the staff and facultyat the same time that an email
(18:02):
went to the students.
And so in the middle of thischapel, I'm finding out that I
don't have a job as of Decemberor, or possibly sooner, a lot of
coaches were let go sooner.
Um, our seasons still had twoweekends of travel.
Wasn't sure that was going tohappen.
And then the girls start textingme cause they're freaking out.
And I'm like, Hey, I'm findingout just like you, I will, I
(18:22):
will.
As soon as I get out of here,we'll meet at so and so's house,
which was a house on campus.
But like the days after that, itwas, it was like a few role on
campus.
It was, it was really tough todeal with the grief.
And I think anybody that's hadsome kind of tragedy, um, if you
will, on your team, um, youknow, has, has been through
(18:44):
something like that where youhave to, and this is when those
one-on-one relationships areimportant where you'd have to
just rally around them and youhave to cry with them and you
have to hug them and you'd haveto say, I will help you in any
way that I can, which was all Icould do.
You know, I, I helped them getto places if they wanted to keep
playing, then I helped them, youknow, find a place to play and
get transferred.
(19:04):
And, um, and I was there forthem to say, yeah, I know the
stinks.
Like I know the situation ishorrible and I'm sorry, and I
wish I could do more to help youto help you.
And I'll do everything I can tomake this transition better for
you.
Um, but in the midst of that,grieving myself, knowing, okay,
is coaching, you know, iscoaching mending for me?
(19:25):
I thought I did this my wholecareer.
And now I'm like, I don't know.
Maybe God has something else instore for me around the corner,
but it's so crazy not knowingwhat that is.
So I really would say that thatseason of my life was really,
really hard.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah.
And yeah, it's something that,gosh, this is like a coach coach
podcast, but I think grief andloss is a really relevant thing
to, to give a little bit ofattention to, because how often,
not only when you have terribletragedies where your, your
athletes might've, you know,there might be a student that,
(19:58):
that passes away, um, that's attheir school or a close
relative, or honestly just kindof the, the loss of either a
season or the end of theircareer, whatever that is.
There's just a level of, ofgrief.
That's inevitable.
It might be varying degrees, butloss is going to happen in our
(20:20):
athletes lives.
And how do we help walk themthrough that?
I think is a really, really keything.
And, and you can't do thatunless you have the relationship
like you were talking about.
So that, that that's phenomenalthat you kind of have that
foundation to mourn when theywere mourning.
And then I'm sure I know youcelebrated what the, when they
were, when you won matches, butthere's now those different
times for everything.
And literally be with himthrough that.
(20:41):
I think that the presence ispowerful in that sense.
And I'll just give a quick plugbefore switch on.
There was a book I went throughthat I had some personal growth
in after the loss of my dad at21.
It was years later, I went tothis book called the grief
recovery method, I think is theexact term.
We can link it in thedescription, but I went through
(21:02):
that process and there wassomething that I w I would say I
was, I was mostly, I was totallylike functioning and felt like I
had grieved for the most part,but I felt like there was a
small section.
It was kind of over in thecorner that hadn't been quite
cleaned out yet.
You know, it was like, I wouldsay about 15 to 20% of my, of my
grief, you know, the griefgetting to a hundred percent
(21:22):
wasn't quite there.
Um, and going through thatprocess of like, okay, fully
reflecting on it, learning fromit, completing it, and then
moving on.
Um, I think there's, there'ssome, obviously there's going to
be some wounds there, but, um,but to help people kind of get
the most out of it, I can getcan guy can use everything.
(21:43):
You can redeem even the hardeststuff.
So not discounting the painthat's happening at the moment,
but also coaching them through,Hey, this, you know, God's
teaching you something, there'sanother door opening.
We just can't see it yet.
And having to haven't had thecourage to keep going as is a
really important thing for, forvolleyball and then later in
life, too.
So that's awesome.
Well, sweet, w you have, you'vegone through a three-dimensional
(22:05):
coaching and we've referencedthat already.
A couple of times now have ledmultiple people through it, as
well as being one of our awesomestaff members.
So now having gone through it,and you're currently a coach
now, and you're kind ofprocessing this in real time on
what you're going to implementin the future, what would be, uh
, just any feedback or maintakeaways from the
three-dimensional coachingtraining that you went through?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Um, a couple of the things that I really loved about
the training, um, that were,that were new to me was, um, was
the purpose statement, thepurpose statement for a coach to
something for them to, you know,focus back on and why we're
doing what we're doing,especially when those hard
moments come or that that parentgets angry with us, or that,
(22:49):
that player, you know, um, mouseoff at us or whatever it might
be that, that we strugglethrough.
It makes us want to quit comingback to that purpose.
Why am I doing what I'm doing?
Why is the Lord led me here,called me here?
And, um, and being able to focuson that I thought was really
good and it helps.
It really just helped me to kindof form my thoughts and focus,
(23:09):
um, on, okay, what are thespecific things that I want to
pass on to these players?
Because I have hopefully apositive impact on their life
during the season.
So that was one thing that Ijust loved about 3d coaching.
Um, a lot of the, um, the planthat they give you at the end to
the different things that youcan implement were some things
(23:30):
that I'd already done.
And then, um, like the one wordoption I love that, um, turned
to, to come up with one word tofocus on, um, for the year or
for the season, or maybe it'sone word per player, having some
of those discussions on about,Hey, what do we want to get out
of the season?
Hey, what's your focus for this?
How can we encourage one anotherto be better teammate?
(23:53):
Um, I'm all about those things,but I felt like 3d really gave
you the tools and the plan goinginto your season or going into
your off season.
Even, there was a lot ofdifferent things about serving
together and things like that,but I'd always had in the back
of my head, Hey, these are greatideas.
Okay.
How do I, how do I decide whichones are right for, and which
ones are right for right now oroff season or in season or post
(24:14):
season.
Um, and so I think it reallyhelped me just kind of make a,
like a, a yearly plan and beable to carry that out in the
future.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Yeah, that's great.
Well, and to be intentional onthat, because if we're, if we're
not proactive there and have aplan, there's so many coaches
I've talked to, they're like, Ohman, I would've loved to have
done X, Y, or Z, or I even hadattended to, but in the coaching
world, I mean, mass distractionsare coming your way constantly.
There's so many different thingsthat can be pulling you away,
(24:44):
but to just take that time to,to map out a whole year, then,
then it's just a matter ofexecuting on it versus like, Oh,
there's all this stuff.
Sounds really good.
I hope I can get to it, but it,it, it seems much more doable
when it's down to pen and paper.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
That's really good stuff.
Well, Hey, we also want to getbetter.
We want to grow, but we alsowant to take a second to have at
once while to have some fun onhere.
So is there a time or a storythat you have that you look back
and you're like, Oh man, that'sgotta be one of the top
embarrassing moments or one ofthose times where I just could
not stop laughing.
It was going on.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Um, I definitely have some of those, uh, traveling
with the girls on a charter bus,um, you know, 10, 15 times a
season led to lots of memorablemoments and lots of time
together.
Um, one of our favorite thingsto do besides watching movies
was to play heads up, um, on ourphones.
So it's, uh, it's, uh, a gameand an app where you hold your
(25:43):
phone on your forehead and, um,everybody else shouts clues at
you, you're trying to get theword on your forehead.
And we would play that often.
And, um, I, I rememberspecifically this one time, one
of my players, Megan was, wasdoing, um, heads up and she
wasn't holding on and somethinghappened on the bus.
I don't know if they hit thebrakes or took a turn.
(26:04):
And she just went flying across,across the charter bus and into
a window.
And, um, and the rest of usjust, you know, lost it and she
popped up.
She wasn't by keep going, youknow?
And so we just, we had lots ofmemories like that.
Um, just playing games andenjoying each other's company on
(26:24):
the bus and, um,
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Just heads up.
She was literally having to gether head back up to float across
on this.
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Yes, exactly.
Awesome time.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah.
Uh, yeah, just to kind of, justto kind of wrap up a little, if
you were to consider Meredith asa college student and just
getting started with coaching,what would you tell her as far
as something you wish you knewthen that, you know now?
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Oh gosh.
Uh, so much stuff.
Um, I think the biggest thingwould be start those one-on-one
meetings immediately.
Um, I think when I was youngerand, uh, I was so focused on the
volleyball and I was so focusedon, I got to get these girls in
the same gym.
I gotta see what we have.
I gotta see what we need to workon.
(27:17):
And I was so focused on theskills and the volleyball and
the preseason, the training,trying to get us ready for that
first game.
Um, but I really do think thatthe relationships have to come
first.
I think the trust and thebuilding up happens after the
relationship happens.
So I think the more, um, themore one-on-one meetings you can
(27:37):
have leading up to your seasonis awesome.
The more you can show them thatyou care, who hear what they're
going through, you'd find outwhat else is going on in their
life, what their family's like,the more you can invest in them
as a person.
I think it really helps on the,on the backside, um, with when,
when you challenge them on thecourt or on the field.
(27:58):
And when you challenge them, youknow, to give, to give you
everything and to run through abrick wall for you, they're
going to do that.
And if they have thatrelationship with you, um, if
you've just hammered them insidethe gym the whole time, it might
not happen as well.
Just depends on the athlete Iguess.
But I do really think thatrelationships are key.
And I think I learned that thehard way a couple, couple of
(28:20):
years down the road, not fromthe very beginning.
So, um, so I that's, that's whatI would tell my younger self,
for sure.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah.
That's powerful staff and justan encouragement.
If you're a sport that has alarger roster than nine to 12
girls on there, Hey mate, youknow, divide and conquer, you
know, it's okay if you have astaff for a reason.
So if it's football team, youknow, position coaches, like
that's kind of, there'll beoverwhelmed as a head coach for
those head coaches listeningthat you, you know, therefore I
(28:49):
need to have one-on-ones withall 60 coaches.
I mean, there was a, you know,there there's some, there's some
things that you can do, one headcoach to the whole 60 football
players or archery team orwhatever, or the track team or
whatever.
But a lot of times it's, youhave those different spots where
you can focus in on it.
Um, and you know, don't, don'tlet this be an overwhelming
burden.
Let it be something that, thathopefully you can enjoy to just
(29:11):
find a way, pick something andgo with it.
Uh, and I think it would be, youknow, you'll have the long-term
impact of relationally, but alsoat the end of the day, I think
the short term resultsathletically will come as well.
Well, Meredith we, we appreciatetaking time wrapping up,
wrapping up a quarantine withthe fam all sorts of stuff.
We're just rolling with thepunches during Popa times and
(29:34):
just grateful to have gratefulto have you on staff.
And I know you've already made adifference in the lives of
people here in NorthernKentucky, greater Cincinnati,
and then, uh, already plugged inhard way.
Um, making a difference incoaches here at another
Kentucky.
So just thanks for all that youdo and, and your heart to, uh,
continue to, to answer the callthat God has on your life.
(29:56):
Thank you.
I appreciate the time to share.
Yep.
Excellent.
Well, have a good one.
We'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Thanks.
[inaudible]
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Well, there, you have it guys.
Our conversation with coachMeredith heater, super grateful
for her coming onto the show.
I love what she had to say aboutbuilding trust with our players,
laying that foundation andhaving that expectation
management, that open line ofcommunication and how that can
make a ton of difference on andoff the court.
So thanks again for, for sharingthose nuggets of wisdom.
(30:33):
Well, Hey, I don't know aboutyou, but 2020 has been a bear.
A lot of really, reallychallenging things.
A lot of really, really goodthings we could celebrate as
well.
That may not be getting pushedout as much, but I'm looking
forward to 2021 as you probablyare as well.
One thing we want to put on yourradar is the FCA coaches
challenge.
You can go to FCA coaches,challenged.org and sign up.
(30:57):
You can join hundreds of othercoaches across the state, across
the country who are going to bereading through the new
Testament through 2021 together,it'll be a synchronized breeding
plan.
They'll send you an email onSunday once a week to give you
the breeding plan for that week.
You can also sign up for a dailytext reminder for the passage
for that day.
And we know when the leader getsbetter, everybody gets better.
(31:20):
This would be a great way togrow personally and spiritually.
And I got to tell you, I know itwould be a blessing to you and
you would not be alone to bejoining hundreds of other
countries.
So FCA coaches challenge.
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