F*ck, I’m Just Getting Started! with Shannah Kennedy

Episode Transcript
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Dominique Hind (00:00):
Hi, I'm Dom Hind and f*ck, I'm nearly 50.

(00:03):
Actually, I'm 47 in one month.
But who's counting? The thingis, Time moves fast. One minute,
you're deep in the hustle,building a business, chasing
goals, feeling like you've gotall the time in the world, and
then suddenly you look up andyou're here, asking yourself,
what's next? That's exactlywhere I found myself. Back in

(00:26):
2017 we just sold our business,this thing i'd poured years and
my heart and soul into, andinstead of feeling free, I felt
completely lost, like I'd let goof something massive, and wasn't
sure who I was without it. Andthat's when I found today's
guest, Shanna Kennedy. I heardher on ABC Radio One night

(00:47):
talking about designing yourlife with intention, and I
instantly got in touch with her.
Over the years, she's helped meredefine what actually matters,
shaping a life plan, gettingclear on my values and making
sure I was actually living, notjust doing she was the one who

(01:07):
made me stop and think, what doI really want? That's when I
realised my core values arehealth, family, happiness,
pleasure, adventure and fun. Andnow every decision I make, big
or small is about holding trueto those values. They are my
compass, helping me say yes tothe things that align and no to

(01:29):
the things that don't. Shannaalso gave me two of the biggest
lessons I carry with me everyday tomorrow starts today,
because if you want something tochange, you have to take action
now. And saying yes to thismeans saying no to that, because
every choice is a trade off, andlearning to say no is just as

(01:53):
powerful as saying yes. But thething about Shanna is she
doesn't just teach this stuff.
She's lived it. She's facedburnout, battled chronic fatigue
and fought depression. She hadto rebuild herself from the
ground up, and that's why herwork isn't just theory. It's
real, it's lived and it'spowerful. Now she's helping

(02:14):
people rethink midlife, not asthe start of slowing down, but
as our prime years. So let's getinto it. Because fuck, I'm
nearly 50, and isn't it amazing?

(02:40):
Some people come into your lifeat exactly the right time. And
for me, that person was ShannaKennedy. She's a master coach,
an expert in helping people getclear on what they actually
want. And the person who made mestop and think, hang on, what do
I want my life to look like? Herwork is about intentional

(03:02):
living, helping people create alife plan and act that actually
aligns with who they are,because let's be real. This
isn't the time that we need tostart slowing down. She's now
focused on something that somany of us are thinking about,
how to make the most of ourmidlife the years between 50 and

(03:24):
75 and there's so much more toexplore, and Shanna is here to
show us how she knows thisfirsthand. After years of
pushing through and pushingherself to the limit, she hit a
wall, chronic fatigue, burnoutand depression took over, and
she had to completely rethinkthe way that she was living.

(03:49):
That's why she teaches the lifeplan and not just as tools for
success, but as a way to protectyour energy, your mental health,
and the thing that I love themost your joy. So today we're
talking about life plans,reinvention and how to step into
the next phase of your life withexcitement rather than fear.

(04:11):
Shanna, welcome to fuck I'mnearly 50.

Shannah Kennedy (04:16):
Oh, I'm so excited to be here and actually
have this incredibleconversation with you, because
we've had a lot of greatjourneys along the way, and now
we get to share a lot of it,which is wonderful. It

is, it's, you know, I think it is absolutely
amazing that, you know, you cameinto my life in 2017 when I
really needed someone to kick meinto gear, and you did
absolutely that. But before weget into that, how would you
introduce yourself in the mostshanaway possible?

Well, I am a lover of life and collecting
beautiful moments on thisplayground called Earth every.
Day, and I just keep my lifethat simple. So I'm a I've been
married for 21 years. I've gottwo kids, 19 and 20, um, I've
been a life coach for 21 years.
And so I've heard it all fromeveryone, male, female, old,

(05:13):
young, any, any gender, anycrisis. I've heard everything,
and it's just been the mostfascinating playground to play
in. And I, I'm just actuallyreally excited about sharing
some of the concepts with peoplearound how exciting life can be
if you change your mindset inand turn it into the playground

(05:35):
of life. And we've got thezipper, and then we've got the,
you know, we've got the Ferriswheel and the slides and the
swings, they're just jobs thatyou do, and but we are not our
job. We really are the people inthe playground. And we're here
to collect joy. We're here toenjoy what we've got, and we're
here to have a great plan forthe and a road map for the brain
so it becomes really excited andhas direction every day. And

(05:58):
keeping it as simple as that ismy passion for life and what I
want to do and serve for lifefor

Yep, and I think you do do such an amazing job of
making it simple for people,like it's not, you know, so many
people get so scared about whatdo I need to do next? But you
just make it easy, really? Yeah,we've gotta

cut through all of that stuff and just make a
beautiful, simple plan, and thenyou can let go of a lot of the
baggage that we keep or carry.
Yeah, and

there's a lot anyway
you've worked with so manypeople to help them get clarity
on their lives. What's the firstthing you ask someone when they
come to you feeling lost?

I would say to you, so you're feeling lost, is
it your motivation is lost? Isit your energy is lost? Or are
you lacking clarity? A lot ofpeople just don't have a clear
path, and so it's like they'redriving around the roundabout
and they're just feelinglethargic. They're probably

(07:08):
languishing. You know that niceword, where we're just existing,
really. And a lot of it comesdown to, well, do you have any
clarity on how you want to feeland what your next decade looks
like? And if you don't, well, weneed to build a beautiful base
for you.

And I think that's, you know, when I after
selling with collective I thinkboth Justin and I came to you
because we were lost. We'd lostour identity. We thought we'd
invested so much time and effortand love into this thing, and
then it was gone. Yeah, yeah.
And we were like, what do we donow? Like, how do we actually

(07:46):
define our purpose and reclaimthat joy? And a lot of

people don't know their own values to start
with. And I think that's where,you know, it's the biggest
problem of all.

And I think that was one of the things that you
gave me the most clarity, and Istill use it every day in
defining of your values, becauseI know you say you can only have
three, but I've increased mineto five, but it's like the
health, family, happiness,pleasure, adventure and fun,
because that is my compass forabsolutely everything I do and

(08:23):
every decision I make. Becauseif you don't know what your
values are, how can you knowwhat the right way forward
actually is? Yeah, well,

you can't. So, you know, the first question is,
is, who are you without yourjob? And so that usually stops
everybody in their tracks. Andit stopped me in my tracks too,
because when I got sick withchronic fatigue before 30, I was
the high flying sportsexecutive, flying around in
helicopters, buying and sellingathletes. Now it is the ultimate

(08:54):
dream job, and I married thejob. I loved the job, seven days
a week, and when I got sick, Igot myself a coach. So no one
had coaches back then exceptathletes. And I was like, Well,
I'm around all of these highperforming hymns. I want one
too. So I got myself a coach,and that was a life coach, and
I'd never heard of them before.
And the first question was, Whoare you without this job? And I

(09:16):
had no idea, and went into aGreat Depression. And I was
like, but I am this job, youknow, this, this company
revolves around me and like itdoesn't. So, you know, it was a
big reality check. And she saidto me, we need to build you the
person who turns up to work andgoes home. But it doesn't matter

(09:37):
what ride you get on. You'regoing to you need to be the
solid person first. And I thinkfor women, where wives were
mothers, where daughters lookingafter parents were juggling
degrees and work all at the sametime. And Bucha, I'm nearly 50,
you're in perimenopause. Thereis so much. Juggling going on

(09:59):
that we really do need toreclaim who you are without it
all. Yeah, and

I think that's it's such a critical thing to
think about, is that we get intothe mindset that we are our job,
and, you know, you need to startthinking, what am I actually
without my job? And who am I asa person, or what, you know, we
just get caught in that careerfocused mindset instead of

(10:26):
looking at that bigger picture.
And I think without that plan orthat vision,

it's hard because it's external. So
society talks to us and and weportray our external life, but
we all know that happiness is aninside job, but nobody's sharing
the inside bit, and nobody wantsto look at the inside. You know,
I always say it's like the soilof the tomato plant. It's it's
in the soil that it's where thegreatness is, not spraying the

(10:53):
plant with something nice on theoutside. So when you work with a
coach, it's really about goinginside and getting clarity from
the inside, not just creatingsomething externally.

Yep, I definitely agree with that, and
what with that, like we did talkabout values. Why is defining
values? And I mean, I know thisbecause I've done it and I live
by it, but why is it soimportant for people to actually
understand what their values areand their you know the core for
making those decisions

Well, values are your internal compass, so to
speak, or the lighthouse that'sgoing to guide you when you make
decisions. It's actually thebase of your emotional
intelligence, and it's thegateway to your authentic self.
And so if we're going aroundlife without that clarity and
confidence on the inside of thisis what's most important to me,

(11:49):
and this is actually who I workfor. Is my value. So we just had
yours. Mine is health. Healthdoesn't mean am I healthy? It
means what am I doing for myphysical health today, my mental
health training today, myemotional health and my
spiritual health. So I got fourbig buckets to work on every
day, and then family, how I showup for my family, and then

(12:12):
achievement, because I'm anachievement junkie. But the
achievement isn't, oh, did wesell 10,000 more books? The
achievement is, what did I do toprotect the asset today, which
is, if we don't have values,then you are just, it's like
you're driving around and justreacting to wherever the traffic
takes you. When you've gotvalues, you're very clear about

(12:36):
I'm going to make a decisionbecause it actually works
towards my values. You know,when people make decisions and
they've got that sick bellyfeeling, they know they should
be saying no, but they're sayingyes, and it's your values
talking to you. And when you'vegot them, and you can see them
every single day like a bigsign. So mine are on the
bathroom mirror. They were onthe car dashboard. My coach made

(12:58):
me put them there when I was 30,and they're still on a sticky
note next to my computer,because as soon as we put visual
away, we forget, yeah, but ifit's your screen saver, or you
see it on the mirror for thelast 20 years, you cannot forget
that that is the order of howyou make decisions and and, and

(13:19):
it gives you Like purpose. Whatam I going to study next? Or
what job am I going to do next?
And you'll find it usually inyour values.

And one of the things that I love that you just
spoke about, was protecting theasset. And I think this was
something you drilled into, bothJustin and I when we were going
through our transition. And itwas, you know, you don't really
think about you as being anasset, but it is your biggest
asset that you have in yourlife.

Yeah, you work for the business of you. So
it's, it's like, I always say,it's like the oxygen tank, and
we put on the mask and we go andhelp everybody, but who fills
the tank first. So if you don'tactually work for the business
of you first, we can go aroundand do all of these things, but
we have resentment. We getexhausted, we feel betrayed. We

(14:12):
burn out because we forgot tofill the tank every day, we just
keep burning it on that smell ofoxygen, and keep putting the
mask on. So when we fall in lovewith self and we build that
beautiful relationship of care,like you would care for your
best friend or care for thetomato plant that's feeding your
whole family, life does becomequite simple and joyful and fun

(14:37):
because you're doing it in theright order, and the asset is
you, and no one is going to carefor you as much as you can care
for yourself.

And I think that is a big thing. We, like so many
people, look for externalvalidation, or that external way
of making sure that they'reprotected. But it has to be you
like. It has to be you do. It?

Yeah, no one's going to do it for you. And
that's where we get reallyresentful, especially women. My
husband lying on the couchwatching sport all day. Well,
that's his meditation. You know,he's feeling his oxygen tank.
What are you doing that bringsyou joy? That fills your tank?
And no one's going to schedulethat for you, except for

(15:23):
yourself. No one's going to say,Hey, I think you need a massage.
Or, yeah, why don't you go tothat breath work class? Or, why
don't you do some painting?
They're not going to do that. Sowe really need to step into our
power and give ourselvespermission as not selfish, but
coming into our best, amazingselves,

yeah, and I think that the thing that we do
need to remind ourselves is, youknow, what is that that is
sparking that joy? And how canwe make sure that it's part of
every day? You can't just onceevery so often, it has to be
every day,

or you don't water the tomato plant once a
month. Could be every day,right? So finding things that
give you joy, or finding the joyin things that are in your
situation at the moment, or thethe colourful lens, rather than
the black and white lens,especially as you go through
midlife, where everything ischanging around you and you are

(16:18):
in a big washing machine and youneed to let go of a lot of
things in order to become thenew you we if you're not doing
it with some beautiful colourballoons in your brain going,
I'm going to let that one go andbring that one in and make it
fun. It's a very daunting timeof life to get to navigate.
Yeah,

I agree. And which is, you know, one of the
things when we spoke last, youwere telling me how you've
changed a little bit of yourcoaching focus to be really
focused on that midlife, the 50to 75 and you know, it really
can be, well, I'm hoping, I'mreally hoping it can be the best
years of our lives. Why do youthink we've been conditioned to

(17:01):
see this phase as winding downinstead of stepping into
something bigger.

I think because in generations past, you retired
at 60, you know you weredeceased by 70. So you got your
golden handshake, and you leftand you passed away. What's
happened over the years is we'reliving a lot longer. So we're
living into our mid 90s. Now.
We've got incrediblepharmaceutical companies keeping
us alive. So if you retire at60, that's 35 years of playing

(17:31):
golf. It's like too boring. Wealso need to want to work on our
health a lot more, so that our80s and 90s are the best they
can be. So once you hit 50, it'sabout taking control and saying,
How do I want to prepare mysecond act in life? And it's a
time of reinvention. It's a timeof excitement. It's the

(17:55):
chrysalis, you know, Chip Conleycalls it the chrysalis, which
is, you've been a caterpillar upuntil now, just accumulating and
doing and doing and doingmidlife means, pause, menopause,
pause. We go into the chrysalis.
We let go of a lot of thatmentality of achievement junkie

(18:18):
and proving ourselves, and wecome out the butterfly, bigger,
better version of ourself. Sothe narrative is really changing
to it's called the lifestyleera, where we actually keep
working until we're 75 becausewe've still got another 20 years
to go. So thinking about, whatdo you want that second act

(18:39):
before the third act to looklike where we're freer. We've
learnt a lot of hard lessons.
We're financially in a goodposition. We can focus a bit
more on our health and ourhobbies and our joy activities,
yeah, but it does need a plan,otherwise we just carry on being
the caterpillar. And

something that I thought was really interesting
was the work that you're doing,it's, you know, quite evenly
split between male and female,which is great,

oh yes, yes. I mean, men have a menopausal
crisis as well, a midlife crisiswhere, you know, their identity
has been racked up in their jobthe whole time, and they've all
of a sudden thought about theword fulfilment, where is the
purpose in this? I've got myFerrari, I've got my houses,
I've got my share portfolio,I've got my crypto I've

(19:28):
travelled the world. Where isthe fulfilment? And because
they've never done the internalwork, yeah. So it's so joyful
for me to have my business as50% male and female, because men
are starting to say in their50s, there's got to be more to
life than this. And we startunpeeling that onion, and it's

(19:49):
just glorious, because we justfind what really gives them the
joy.

And what do you think is I mean, with how we
are? Changing now and morepeople are thinking about
getting the most out of midlife.
Why do you think people weregetting it so wrong before?

I think because, number one, nobody
talked about menopause before.
That was, I don't know, just aword which meant nothing. Our
mothers, my mother never talkedabout it, so we never really
heard about it, but I thinkwomen are finding their voice
now and really understandingthat I do need a plan, because
it's a long marathon if I don'thave one with beautiful Gatorade

(20:32):
stations to stop at and re checkin with myself and really own
the roadmap. I think we'refinally giving ourselves
permission, whereas generationsbefore did not. And I think

it's interesting, a friend of mine
was telling me the other daythat her husband was at tennis
with all of his man friends, andthey were all talking about
their wives going throughmenopause, which, you know, in
the past, that would bedefinitely a discussion that was
not had, and no one would talkabout it. I

know I flick my husband podcasts all the time,
so I'm like, you just need tolisten, just so that you're a
little bit educated of what'sgoing on in my body at the
moment and how my brain ischanging and my body is changing
and and he's actually been like,I just didn't know any of this.
And I'm like, Well, neither didI So, so we're sort of going on

(21:25):
that journey together, and it'sactually been, you know, we've
put a bit of a joy on it aswell. Like, it's a fun trip.
We're going on a trip where Iget back to reality. So I think
it's, it's the way that we framethings, you know, talked about
the playground, and it's, it's,let's go on this little walk
detour over here while my bodychanges and learn and upskill

(21:49):
and think about, you know,what's important to us in the
future? Yeah,

I think that's a great way like it does, like
everything does come back tothat reframing and making sure
that you are thinking about itfrom totally different way. And

to be Debbie downer, like, actually laugh at
the whole thing and just say,Wow, I am. I'm in the chrysalis
turning into a butterfly. Like,this is amazing, and the
butterfly has to struggle to getout of the chrysalis. Like it
pushes and pushes and pushes,and it's in the pushing, the
hard work, the uncomfortablework, the the pain of change,

(22:28):
the pain of the pushing, thatmakes it strong enough to fly.
Yeah, yeah. Don't go through it.
We're not going to fly. Or if wego through it without really
understanding, and I think wedon't come out so well, yeah,

but see in that it is that's the opportunity to
go, how can I actually have somefun and find the joy in it,
rather than being that DebbieDowner and, you know, yeah,
reading, oh,

I would, I would say to my husband, Mary's
in the house, Mary menopause,like, if you read The wrong way,
you know your life is in danger,so. But he just laughs, and I
laugh and, and it's, it's, it'sthe way that you play the game,
yeah. And it can either reallyadd to your marriage and to your
household and to your mentalhealth, it can really destroy

(23:19):
the whole lot,

yeah, a lot, yeah. And, I mean, one of my
favourite things in the world isthe thing that keeps me sane, or
as sane as I can be, is whoeverhas the most fun wins. And, you
know, whatever phase in yourlife you were in, if you just
think about that, it's such agood thing to try and change
your mindset and focus on thefun. Absolutely,

find the colour. I always say, find the
colour. Like, where is themagic? The magic is, I'm driving
my little mini, you know,because I don't need a family
car anymore. Or, Oh, I just hadthe most amazing coffee. Or, you
know, we keep showing up to ourclasses and just high fiving
yourself, just finding littlebits of joy that we've got fresh

(24:04):
air in this country. Yeah, gotbeautiful fruit. We've got
amazing produce. We've got abed, we've got a pillow, we've
got a douna, yeah, when weactually go into the minutia of,
you know, I'm looking at abeautiful leaf out the window,
the joy is sparked, and we'renot even looking externally
anymore. We're just so awake.
We're living wide awake. Andthat's a really beautiful place

(24:28):
to be, and it's a beautiful gameto play every day.

Yeah, it is that. It is amazing. And one of
the things I love is you saythat this phase is really about
that reinvention and excitement,and what are the things, or what
are some of the things peopleshould be embracing rather than
just retiring into nothingness?

Well, I think for me, coaching people, and
I've asked you this many times,is the brain will just do
nothing, because the brain. Isreally lazy, Mm, hmm. Like to
work very hard, right? So itjust likes to be comfortable,
sit in the corner and not dovery much. So we need to bring
it out of the corner, and weneed to create a visual for it.

(25:14):
So that's why we do visionboards, which is what brings you
joy, what creates challenge foryou? What would you love to
learn in the second half of yourlife? What are you interested
in? What's on your bucket list?
Like we need to start creating apicture for it to look forward
to, otherwise it gets lost inthe day to day and your hormones

(25:36):
and the weather and what'shappening with the kids and the
husband and the job and weactually just needs to cut
through all of that to thinkabout what is the purpose of
this chapter of my life.

And I think one of the things that you do really
well is your seasons planning.
And I love the seasons planningbecause it's not new year's
resolution start of the year. Itis. Every season you've got,
what are the podcasts to listento? What are the books to read?
What am I going to learn? What'ssomething that's going to bring
me joy? What are the experienceswe're going to have? And just
reframing it from seasons issuch a great way of doing it.

(26:13):
Yeah,

because if we start January and say, right,
this year, I'm going to be likefit, and I'm going to be strong
and, you know, I've got to havea growth mindset, and, you know,
I'm going to approach life thisway. It doesn't last. It's too
much for the brain. If we say tothe brain, let's just think
about autumn. We're recordingthis now at the beginning of
autumn. So let's just thinkabout the 12 weeks of autumn,

(26:38):
and what that means. Theweather's changing. The leaves
are changing. It's a time ofchange. What do you want to
change? The way you eat? What'sone habit that you want to
change for 12 weeks? The waythat you think? What's something
you can put up on the free Joyyour car dashboard for 12 weeks?
12 weeks doable? Yeah, reallydoable. These are the two books

(26:59):
I'm going to read in autumn. Sowhen you give it a beautiful
map, and the map's up on thewall, it's got, it just focuses
in, and it gets rid of all ofthat inner critic confusion,
washing machine feeling, becauseyou go, I got focus today on
what doing and why I'm doing it,because this is how I want To
feel. And

it's I mean, and I love that, because autumn is
about the change winter. Youwould always tell me it was
about the hibernation andgetting, like, the big projects,
the boring stuff, done, and thenspring was when you can actually
come back out, be with friends,and actually really enjoy it.
And Same, same with summer, likeit's, it's just a great way of
reframing, especially

winter. You know, people say winter, it's so
boring. I'm like, oh gosh, mylist is so big for winter. You
want to do your tax, you want togo through all your insurances.
You want to get all the boring,horrible things done in that 12
weeks. Because if you're doingyour tax at Christmas, oh,
summer vacation that is not fun.
So it's it actually gives rhythmand ritual to your year where

(28:04):
your body says, I don't have tobe like this all the time. You
know, summer we set no goals.
We're free, we we'respontaneous. We want to be
outside. We want to be at thebeach winter, right? Let's get
serious and knock off all theadmin for the ear. You know,
it's just a beautiful way ofthinking and gives the brain

(28:26):
purpose.

And also, I think it is, it gives the like.
Why I used to love doing it withyou was you would give me
permission in winter to get allthe boring stuff done, and I can
actually just do it. And I lovedit,

I know, because you're not going to a barbecue.
So it's either more Netflix orget stuff done and feel really
great about it, because it's alldone when we do things, our
confidence in our internalconfidence, elevates to a whole
new level. So when you've gotthe whole year up on the wall in
four pieces of paper, which isjust the 12, the 12 weeks, you

(29:03):
know, one sheet per season. Youknow, you've got this beautiful
visual for the year. It's notoverwhelming, it's real. It's
fluid. It changes a bit, and itacts as a blueprint, then for
the next year. So I look at lastautumn and the autumn before, on
the autumn before, and, oh, Ilistened to that podcast. I
remember that book. Oh, that wasreally good. And these were my

(29:25):
affirmations, and these were mygoals, and these were my habits.
So success leaves clues. And youknow how we always say, you and
I stick in your own lane, yeah?
Who cares what Sally next dooris doing? Yeah, the way to stay
in your own lane and stayfocused and to stay confident is
not to compare. Yeah, iscomparison. Itis is a thief of

(29:46):
all joy. And if you've got thisbeautiful year mapped out, you
don't need to look sideways, andso we can stay on point. And
it's a creative project, andit's, it's, really is a
beautiful soul. Nourishing,grounding exercise.

Yeah, I love it.
I love it because, yeah, you canit's you focused on you. You're
not focused on anyone else. It'sjust you, yeah,

and in midlife, you're going to have to really
knuckle down and do that,because everybody is going to
experience it very differently.
And comparison doesn't work atall.

Oh, compare it and it's the best anyway, the
absolute worst. Okay, one of thethings that I loved with you was
in that planning was you taughtme to focus on the big
milestones with my kids and tomake the most of our travel time
together. So I think you wouldalways say, work out in your 25

(30:40):
year. Plan what year they'll bein at school, when the HSC is
coming, when they're big yearsthat they can't actually do
anything is and actually planall the trips that you want to
go on, the safaris, the youknow, whatever you wanted. Why
is this so important? And whatadvice do you give the parents

(31:00):
about being truly present.

Well, I can very much clearly say, as my
kids are 19 and 20 now that itworked, yeah, it is the most
powerful, beautiful familydocument that we own, where we
can actually now look back on itand see everywhere we've been

(31:25):
everything that happened withthe kids, when they broke their
and when they got their braceson, and, you know, when they did
that camp. And it's all there.
All the trips are there. It'srecorded. You know, how our
careers unfolded. So it acts asa document to say, let's look at
the map moving forward for thenext year. So mine now goes till
I'm 74 because I'm 54 so I'm soexcited that there's all these

(31:50):
blank boxes that I can startpopulating with ideas and dreams
and goals. But once you've evendone 20 years, and you look
back, you go, wow. You know, wehave had a great life, and
sometimes it doesn't feel likeit right, but when you see it
written, you say, actually,we're rock stars. It's been
incredible. So I think planningis crucial. There's three

(32:12):
stages. One is having a baby togetting them to school. Stage
One, you're not going to do toomuch primary school years, what
do we want to solidify as afamily, and what life
experiences do we want? And thenthe secondary school years, we
know that a lot of the girls andboys will be going through
puberty at the same time thatwe're going through menopause.

(32:36):
So it's really nice to preparefor that the house for that.
It's it's not going to be thatpleasant for a couple of years.
So, and then you sort of see theother thing, which says both
kids have finished school, whichis where I'm at, and it's like,
Whoa, oh gosh, where did thatgo? But you get to look back and
say we didn't waste a moment. Wewere so present because we were

(32:56):
so intentional, so doing a lifeplan, it actually allows you to
live wide awake with your kidson purpose. Because, you know,
it's a very short time in yourlife, Yeah, feels like it's
going slow, but all of a suddenit's over, yeah? And then you're
in the next stage, yeah,

the wide awake with purpose is such a big
thing, because I think we justsometimes just get caught up in
the stuff. And at least ifthere's purpose, it's, yeah, it
means that it's and how

do you know?
Because you've done it when youwhen you've got it printed, and
it's sitting on the on the deskall the time, and you're looking
at it all the time, you can'tforget your purpose. No, you
can't. Yeah, that the landscapeis going to change. Because if
you add 10 years, if all thelisteners just add 10 years to
how old they are now, then add10 years to how old their kids
are and their pets are and theirparents are, you have a very

(33:49):
different landscape. Your lifeis going to change quickly.
Yeah, so how do you want tomanage the drive? I think

it was really confronting when I did it,
because we've just lost ourbeautiful dog, Gertie, and when
I was going through, you know,when she was getting older and
older, I was like, Oh, this is,you know, we're going to have to
plan for this.

Mm, very confronting. It is really
confronting. Also. It's alsoempowering, because people
decide, yeah, we'll get anotherdog, you know, earlier on or no,
we're going to be pet free for awhile, because we're going to do
a lot of travel. So it allowsyou to be the driver in life.
Still.

Yeah, true. It does. How do you help people
design a life that prioritiseswhat actually matters to them
rather than what they think theyshould be doing? That's a

great question.
So that's where we tap back intoyour authentic self, and I would
always challenge them, is thatwhat you think you should be
doing, or is that really comingfrom your own value? Use of joy
and creativity and adventure,because your plan doesn't look
very joyful or creative oradventurous to me. So really,
the coach's job is not to do theplan. It is to challenge them.

(35:11):
Challenge their thoughts. Helpthem design it. Give them some
great ideas. Show them where themilestones are when you want to
be planning for retirement andhaving a financial plan starting
at 50 so you retire with themoney you need to get to 95 it's
really about giving you thatbeautiful base, which becomes a

(35:31):
chess board. And

I love that even now, just to be able to go,
okay, so many people do notthink about what they need when
they do retire. It's like you'vestill got time. You can still
make the plan today and still behappy

and kind of about having the visual. So if
you think about yourself in 20years, or my 74 year old self,
well, I do want to be havingmassage. I want the naturopath.
I want the acupuncture. I wantto go to the gym. I might have a
PT personal trainer. These arekind of holidays I want to have
finished, or my hiking of Caminoand everything, and I'll be a

(36:10):
bit more leisurely. But there'spurpose. There's why we're
saving today what for, because Iknow what I will want in the
future.

And even that just reminded me, and I it still
rings true in my head every timeI have like a chocolate bullet,
which is my one weakness. I'malways going, always going,
you're in my head saying, whatwould your 80 year old self say?
What would your 80 year old bodysay when I eat this, I'm like,

just saying, she's probably saying, enjoy it,
yeah.
But you know the days that youdon't feel like going for to
exercise, or you don't feel likegoing for a walk, when you think
about your 20 year old herself,she is calling you and saying,
can you just show up? Yeah, showup even though you don't feel
like it. You might not do agreat workout, but can you just

(36:59):
show up and and it's so powerfulwhen we've done that kind of
inner work that you carry aroundforever.

Yeah? And it is the only workout or the only
thing that you don't regret isthe one that you didn't do. So
it's better off doing it, yeah.

And midlife is we maybe need to change the
plan. So you might have been ahuge runner. You might go, Okay,
well, how long do I want to runfor before it starts really
costing me? I might change thatto weights, yoga, Pilates and
for the second act in my life,because that's going to be much
better for me as a 75 year old.

Yeah, absolutely, for someone who
thinks or feels that time isslipping away. What's one thing
they can do today to startmaking the most of their lives?

I think the first thing to do would be to go
to the mirror and become friendswith yourself and and ask
yourself you or tell yourselfyou've got time. Got Time. Time
slips away when you're notliving on purpose and you're not
living wide awake, it slips bysuper fast. You're awake and

(38:11):
you're on plan and you'reticking things off and you're
challenging yourself, and you'vegot clarity and direction and
purpose. Every day it doesn't goas fast. It actually has
fulfilment and meaning to it anddepth to it. So every day is an
incredible playdate on theplanet, and you go to bed with

(38:32):
that mentality going over whatyou did that day. If you don't
have that, the day will slip by.
You'll go to get exhausted, andyou wake up and repeat tomorrow,
so there's nothing for the brainto hold on to.

No, I think that is it. It is that's a great way
of thinking about it and makingsure that it does that. They do
do it. I do think, though, thatso many people cannot actually
have that look in the mirror, Ithink they get probably so
uncomfortable with looking atthemselves in the eyes and

(39:06):
actually starting thinking orhaving that conversation with
them, yes,

because you're looking at your best friend,
which is yourself that you'veprobably ignored for a very long
time. So you know, Mel Robbinsoften talks about mirror work
and high five in yourself. Butthink about your life in
decades. And you know, yourfirst decade, you loved the
mirror. You were dancing infront of the mirror, you were
kissing the mirror, or, youknow, high fiving the mirror.

(39:31):
And you didn't have lots offriends when you were five. You
were your own best friend. Andthen eventually, we keep moving
away. Midlife is really theopportunity to come back and to
go, Okay, what did I learn outof my first decade, my second
decade, my third decade, myfourth decade, I mean, my fifth
what's my intention for thisfifth decade? I'm a lot of

(39:54):
knowledge now. People have reada lot of books. We can listen to
audio books, podcasts we'regetting. Experts in all the
time. Now it's just such a greatexciting time to be alive,
because we have access to somuch information. Yeah, so much.
So much, you know, much even,yeah, too much. We can listen.
If you pick a topic, you can gothe best X, you can hear the

(40:16):
best in the world. So it is suchan exciting time to be alive and
to look at the tapas menu outthere and be really intentional
with what you want your 50s tobe about. Yeah,

so you've helped so many people transition from
one phase to the next phase.
What's the hardest part forpeople? For them letting go of
an old identity.

The hardest part is not having thought about
the new one. So if you can'tvisualise a butterfly, it's hard
for the caterpillar to let go.
You know, it's like if youhaven't got the plan, it's
impossible to let go, becauseit's all you know. So I think
the hardest thing to let go ofis the stories that you told
yourself. And when you've got anew plan, you can create new

(41:08):
narrative and story that you'regoing to repeat, which is far
more positive,

yeah, and I think that is it's it is like it
comes to always back to yourmindset and making sure that
those stories are ones that areactually positive and can take
you forward as well. With that,what are some of the biggest
mindset blocks that hold peopleback from fully stepping into

(41:36):
who they're meant to be?

I think a lot of people lack confidence, self
and that self belief, and whenyour hormones are shifting, we
quite often feel invisible.
Yeah. Say, Yeah, I feelinvisible. And the change is so
radical in the body that we losea lot of confidence, huge
confidence. So making the shiftis about saying, okay, I can see

(42:02):
that I'm in a change phase atthe moment, like the change of
seasons, so I do need to flowwith it, but I also need to
educate myself and createsomething that brings me a bit
of joy whilst I'm going throughthe transition. And I think it's
important people give themselvespermission to do some work self.
Yeah,

I do think as well, so many people still worry
about what other people think,and it's just like no one
actually cares about you.
They're so worried aboutthemselves that it doesn't
matter.

Well, as I said to you many times, who is
thinking about you at themoment, and who is thinking
about me while they're sittingon the no one. I'm pretty sure
no one's thinking about me rightnow.

Well, I am, because I'm looking at you and
you, but

no. Nobody is.
Everybody is so caught up intheir own worlds, no one is
thinking about you. So it's thatcomparison, itis. It's that fear
of judgement that can definitelystop people and worrying about
what other people think. Andmost people, if you step into
your greatness and yourauthenticity, will actually

(43:13):
think, Wow, that's impressive,and actually be motivated and
inspired by you, yeah,

and the ones that aren't, who cares? Who
really cares? Yes, yeah.

Podcast, it's awesome. It's so fun. It's a
futurist. It's a playground foryou. It's incredible. It brings
your personality to life. And ifother people are judging that
well, but I need to listen. Whocares? I

actually don't care, like they can go back to
their own drama that they'recreating. I'm sure. If someone
feels stuck, what do they needto do to try and just shift? But
if they're scared of not knowingwhere they're starting, what's
the first step for them toactually try and make that

(44:05):
change?

I always say, what is this small action you
can take today to create changenow that can create that can be
tiny, like I'm going to drop onecoffee, but start creating
change. Yeah. So nothingchanges. If nothing changes, we
need to take an action. So Ialways say, what action after
speaking with me, do you want totake to kick start that new that

(44:34):
new you? Yeah, just one action.
Because I never make bold changeand never ask my clients to make
bold change. It's always What doyou want to stop doing that's
not serving you? So Caterpillar,get rid of what do you want to
start doing you, serving you,which is like a butterfly. So
what is the action that youwould love to take after

(44:54):
listening to this podcast? Forexample, just one action that
you can write. Put on thefridge, stick your note
somewhere that creates momentum.

Yeah, and I think that's it is like it's
coming back to just knowing itdoesn't have to be a massive
thing. It can just be that onecoffee, which wouldn't be for
me, but it could be, you know,that one walk, or that one
workout, or even though

it could be brushing your teeth straight
after dinner, so you don't eatbullets on the couch. Like one
question that you think ispowerful. That's what I did
after lockdown, after COVID. Iwas like, you know, I like
chocolate bullets too,especially the raspberry ones.
And I thought, after dinner, Ialways want something. So what
action could I take? And it wasif I brush my teeth after dinner

(45:42):
every night, Mm, hmm, but I'mhome every night, that is going
to save me a whole lot ofheartache. Oh yeah, I'm not
going to beat myself up forhaving chocolate on the couch
and brush my teeth. It's allover and the brain's shut. So
just helping the brain by bygiving it a very clear

(46:03):
directive, is how we createmomentum. Yeah,

it's funny.
I've, I've started, or startedhaving a magnesium collagen hot
chocolate so that I don'tactually eat chocolate. And I'm
like, Yeah, it's so much better.
I'm still having that sweet hit,but that's it.

Yeah, yeah, great. But I still have my
bullets during the day, afterdinner.

Um, you've, you've worked with so many high
performers, athletes, CEOs.
What's the one thing they allhave in common when it comes to
designing their life?

Lack of clarity.
And the clarity sometimesdoesn't come from words. It
comes from pictures. So if theyshow me, I get them to do a bit
of a vision board, and they putpictures up, and they're not
sure really why, but they likethem. Then we can unpack. What
do you love about that picture?
You've got a guy in the forest.

(47:03):
Oh, I like that picture. Butwhat is it? Do you like fresh
air? Do you like nature? Do youlike hiking? Do you want to walk
the world? Do you what kind ofholidays Do you want? So if they
can show me even a picture ofsomething that's appealing, we
can create story and clarityaround that whereas, if they're
trying to verbalise, sometimesit's quite difficult. The other

(47:25):
thing is, when people type allof their answers to me, they
often type different to whatthey can speak. They can be a
lot more broad with theiranswers. Different language even
comes out than the language thatthey speak. So there's lots of
different ways that I can helpthem. Yeah,

and I think that was one of the things. Like, I
always would be like, What do Ihave to do? This the vision
board. But when you go throughyour ridiculous stack of
magazines that you had, it wasgreat, because you could
actually visualise and go, Oh,yeah, I actually would like to
go there, or, Oh yeah, I do lovebeing at the beach, and I love

(48:06):
the sand between my toes, and itgrounds me, and it's a great way
of just bringing it to life.

And it's a reminder. So, you know, I've got
the girl on there on the Pilatesbed, and it reminds me she
didn't get a body like that bysitting on the couch like go to
Pilates. And then I've got thethe picture of the really old,
couple lots of wrinkles, fewteeth missing, laughing. And I'm
like, find the joy. Soseriously. So when I look at the

(48:37):
pictures, I look at RogerFederer picture, and he reminds
me to breathe. And MatthewMcConaughey picture reminds me
to my role model is my 10 yearolder version of myself, which
was part of his Oscar speech. Inever forget anything, because
it's all visually in front of meon a vision board.

And what happens when people say I don't have the
time or I'm too busy to actuallyspend the time on me.

Oh, that's okay. Then you're not important.

Which, when it comes back to, you know, protect
the asset, the company of you,all that stuff it, it literally
is. Yeah, it's

not important to them. So they, they, I always
say, if it's important to you,you'll make it happen. Getting
to the stage when it'simportant, usually is a, is a
breakdown or a, you know,they're burnt out. We don't want
to get to that stage andactually show people that you
don't have to get to the brinkto realise things are important

(49:37):
and to jump on the horse and seehow exciting it is to drive your
own life and how colourful itcan be and how purposeful it can
be, rather than waiting for yourretrenchment or your retirement
or your health crisis, yeah,

and I think one of the things that you taught me
was that so many women do putthemselves. Off last, or they
put kids first, husband, house,work, everything in front of
themselves. But if you aresuffering in whatever way,

(50:13):
whether it's mentally,emotionally or physically, you
can't actually show up and bethe best version for your family
or for the people around you, orfor your friends. And I think
that's it's such a good way tothink about it, is you have to
actually become the priority,

yeah, otherwise, you're the martyr.
And martyrs have a lot ofresentment in their life, which
is poisonous to your body. It'slike, I I'm happy walking around
with my phone on red all thetime calling people like that's
how you're living. So when youplug the phone in and the phone
is fully charged, you're youhave a very different day than

(50:50):
running around with it on red.
That's our that's us. We're thesame. We need direction, we need
clarity, we need purpose in ourday for that to be full and all
green and and it's self care isnot selfish,

yep, no. And I think that was something that
you really helped me realise, isthat you have to protect
yourself and make sure you aredoing self care, which I am
extremely good at. Now,

the best, isn't it? It's amazing, guilt attached

to that, oh, I've got none at all investment,
right?

It's investing.
It's an investment into thequality of your fuel, like the
oxygen tank and the phone. It'slike an investment into, you
know, I can give so much more ifmy tank is full. Yeah, I can
also handle curve balls, andthat's a big one, because when
you're running on empty,exhausted, tired, and you get a

(51:51):
curve ball, you will not copevery well. You don't have the
structures in place. You don'thave the mindset in place. You
can't see on your 20 year plan.
This is just a little bit of adetour. You actually think the
whole thing's gone and it's justa detour. Yeah,

and the resentment and the way that you
react when your tank is empty toversus when it's full, are two
totally different reactions.
Yeah, yeah, completely.

So we lose all perspective instantly, or we
keep perspective and we dealwith what's happening. So it all
depends on how much work you'vedone on yourself as to how you
handle the curve ball.

And if you had to give one piece of advice to
someone about to hit them midlife, what would it be?

I think it would be if you had a month now
of unlimited resources,unlimited what would you do?

Wow, that's a good one. Yeah,

it's a blank piece of paper. What would you
create for your month ahead. Ifyou had no responsibilities and
you were free with unlimitedresources and scared yourself,
wow,

that is where the colour is. Mm, and that's a
good one too, because it it'severything it is getting you to
think about everything. It's youknow, if you could go travel, if
you could go be with yourfriend, if you could go
experiences

something that you think you can't study
because you don't have time. Oryou might start growing
vegetable. You might startmaking your own candles, like it
doesn't matter what it is. Itdoesn't have to be big, yeah,
but giving yourself permissionand seeing it on a piece of
paper, written down is thepower, yeah, yep, start your own
podcast. Get out of your headand onto paper.

Okay, okay, that is, that's a great I'm actually
going to go and do that now.
Well, not now, but yeah, yeah,soon in the

next and onto paper. And when you see it on
paper, it's like, actually thatreally excites me, or actually
that's not what I really want,but your brain has to see it on
paper. Yeah. And

I think that is like from everything that we've
worked on together, but alsofrom today, it is if you do not
spend the time thinking aboutyou and planning, you just don't
have that clarity so that youcan actually take that step
forward. And I also think thatwithout that clarity, you don't
have the confidence to do iteither. And I think the clarity

(54:30):
gives you that confidence,

yes, at 100% and if you don't have a plan for
yourself, you're living someoneelse's plan. Yeah,

yeah. And something you always say is
you're a human being, not ahuman doing. And I think by
having that plan, it puts youback in that human being
mindset,

because without a plan, we panic. So you get in
the car and you think you'redriving to Brisbane, but you
haven't put it in the GPS.
Business. You're driving. You'repanicking. You are not enjoying
the journey. You're not noticingthe sights. You are so trying to
survive the moment of or I don'twant to miss the turn off, you
plugged it all into the GPS. Youwould relax. You would enjoy the

(55:13):
view. You would sit back andenjoy the drive. You would take
things in. You would be checkingin the GPS all the time, life
would be very awake anddifferent. It's exactly the
same. So when we do the plan,it's a GPS map that you can
change, yeah, and you candetour, but you can relax, yeah,
enjoy your life, because youknow that you're not going to

(55:36):
have

regrets. Yeah?
And I, I do think, like any ofthe systems the process, it
does. Some people feelrestricted by it, but I think it
gives you freedom, because youknow what you're doing. Oh,

huge freedom.
Because imagine if you'redriving along and you've got
your GPS and you go, actually, Ijust want to stop here, or
actually, that's not on the GPSat strawberry farm, but let's go
there and you just pivot and youjust detour. But if you're so
busy trying to survive andconcentrate on where you're
going, you'll miss all of thatanyway. So people think I'm more
spontaneous without a plan, butI can tell you, after coaching

(56:13):
1000 people over my 21 years,that the people who have done
the plan are far morespontaneous and confident
joyful. Yeah,

I, I can absolutely agree with that, that
the before you versus the afteryou, it's two totally different
things, and it has given me thatclarity and also the confidence
that I can actually do what Iwant, but know that everything
else will get done too

everything will get done. It all works out in
the long run, always

okay, as always, I absolutely love talking to
you, and you do give me so muchclarity in what I should be
doing, and also me pushingothers to try and get that
clarity COVID, everything fromlife plans, midlife values,
purpose and how to stop justexisting and living. But before

(57:09):
we wrap up, I've got one lastquestion for you. If I could try
one thing before I hit 50?
Something, fun, bold, somethingthat shakes me out of autopilot.
What should it be?

It's such a tough question. Well, I think
you're actually doing it rightnow with your podcast, because
it is fun, it is bold. It'sgoing to shake you up, and
you're going to learn things,and you're going to get out of
autopilot by doing this. So Ithink you're already doing it
for everybody else. It's what'sthe one thing that you would do

(57:49):
that frightens the daylights outof you? Yeah, just do it. Just
try it. Just jump. Just have ago. Who cares if we fail,
succeed or somewhere in between,we're going to become better
people for just trying. Yep, I

agree, like, you've just gotta try. That's my
favourite thing. Is just, well,I don't say try. I always just
say, have a crack

in gold. You know, I just tried paint by
numbers, and I'm addicted,because I need it to look
perfect, but I feel reallycreative, and it's colourful,
and it's mindful, and I'm like,Oh my God, this painting looks
amazing on the wall that Ipainted, but it was my numbers.
But, you know, it's filling upmy soul, and it's my office is

(58:32):
full of amazing pictures, andit's great. It doesn't have to
be scary, like, try something

Unknown (58:38):
Yeah, and see if you like it, yep, yep, absolutely

have a crack.
That is, I love it. Love it.
Okay. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing yourwisdom, your journey, and all
the practical ways that we canstart stepping into midlife with
the joy, like I just love thejoy rather than the fear. And if
there's one thing that I'mtaking from this, it's that

(59:04):
midlife is definitely not aboutslowing down, and it's about
choosing how you want to liveand and making sure that you
plan and have that clarity soyou've got the confidence to do
it. And if you love thisconversation, make sure you
check out all of Shannon's work.

(59:25):
It's It's amazing. I've got allof her books. I've listened to
all of them. I prefer to listenrather than read, but I've
listened to them all. They'reall amazing. And every time I
read them, I take something outof them. So all the links will
be in the show notes. And ifyou're feeling stuck, you're
looking for clarity, or you justwant to start designing a life

(59:49):
that actually excites you, thenshe's the best, best person to
help guide you through that. Andyou are amazing. So thank you.
You've changed. You changed. Mylife in a point of time where I
definitely needed someone togive me that push, so I can't
thank you. Enough. Amazing.

Shannah Kennedy (01:00:07):
Thank you. And it's great to share all of this
with everyone, because you knowwhat, we've got to find the joy
and every day, because we areall really lucky. You know, we
are all living a fantastic life,and our hormones and our mindset
and things get on top of us, butwe need to flick the switch and

(01:00:27):
find it as a bit of a funadventure that we're on,
especially in midlife, where wecan change and become the
butterfly, and it's going to bethe best second act ever.

Dominique Hind (01:00:38):
Yeah, and I love this second act, because we've,
you know, we've been programmedso much for the first act that
the second act is something thatwe've got the freedom to be able
to do what we want.

Shannah Kennedy (01:00:49):
Yes, the first act is all society based, grow
up, go to uni, get married, havekids, get your career, pay off
your house, go on all theholidays. Second Act, there's no
there's no tick list to createyour own. And that's why people
get very lost. So it's a timefor people to take action, get a
coach, read books, get the penand paper out and create a

(01:01:15):
beautiful plan, because thereone does not exist for life
after 50, you need to create it.
I always

Dominique Hind (01:01:21):
enjoy talking to you. It's been amazing. And
before we go, if anyone wants totry take on something that
scares you or even justsomething that you know, take a
take a small step to dosomething different. You should
definitely give it a go. See howyou feel. Let me know, because

(01:01:43):
fuck, we're nearly 50, and isn'tit amazing? You?

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