May 7, 2025 • 33 mins
Beauty icon Claudia Fabian discusses her journey from coloring her first gray hair at 30 to embracing her natural silver locks and building a second career as a pro-aging influencer.
• Getting first gray hair at 30 and initially covering it for years
• How the pandemic lockdowns sparked a gray hair revolution
• Reframing aging as a privilege rather than something to fear
• Changing "I have to" statements to "I get to" statements
• Finding confidence and peace in your 50s that wasn't possible in your 20s
• The beauty industry's problem with ignoring older women
• Using "makeup meditation" as a daily self-affirmation practice
• How women can support each other through compliments and community
• Finding inspiration in mothers and mentors who came before us
• Treating yourself as a "guest of honor" in your own life
• Finding and sharing your authentic gifts as life's purpose
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, fearless Friends , it's Amy Schmidt and welcome
to another episode of theFearlessly Facing 50 and Beyond
podcast.
So today, the F word.
Let's hear the drum roll.
Here we go.
Yeah, we are Fearlessly Facing50s.
All right, I'm right there withthis guest.
And you know what?
She's pretty amazing.
She's an icon in the beautyworld, really.
(00:20):
And you know what?
She got her first gray hair at30.
Yeah, yeah, we're going to talkabout all these things.
She's basically got sparklingsilvers that are lighting up the
world with her pro-agingencouragement.
So come along for the gray hairinspiration today and meet my
guest, claudia Fabian.
All right, so here we are.
(00:47):
You heard in the intro, I got apretty amazing guest today and
you know, when she went oncamera and we started rolling
here, I was like, wow, you lookfabulous.
Look at you, claudia, you lookamazing.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Well, thank you and thanks for having me.
I'm really excited to have thisconversation, which I think is
so important, and you know I cantalk about this topic all day
long.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I know, isn't it amazing.
I always feel like, you know,as we age, I think to my mom a
lot of times.
Now I'm well into my 50s, butwhen I first launched my brand,
you know, I was thinking back towhen my mom was 50.
And I remember the day becauseI remember kind of helping her
put a pearl necklace on becauseshe was having a 50th birthday
party, and then I kind of lookwhere I am and I'm like, yeah,
(01:32):
and my mom passed away in 2015,sadly, but my 50s is very
different from her 50s.
You know, I feel I had thisconversation recently with a
woman and I said, you know, Ithink I might just have more
confidence than my mom had.
I think we're more confident,more confident Gen Xers.
What do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I would have to agree with that.
I think that our generation hasa that dichotomy of tradition
and old school way of doingthings and our generation has
(02:12):
kind of broken some of thosemolds, thankfully, and I feel
like we're paving the way foryounger women to not fear
getting older and I'm reallyhappy to be part of that
movement.
I mean, to me it's like I said,it's a passion of mine and I
can talk about it all day.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
And it is really a movement I want you to talk to
me a little bit about, becausewe talk a little bit.
Let's just go back a little bithere and meet Claudia when she
was in her 30s and, like youknow, take me back.
I was reading an article.
I think you maybe wrote anarticle, or there was a blog
post or something that talkedabout I had my first gray hair
in my 30s.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, I mean, I think , you know, a lot of women get
gray hair in their 20s, you know, they start seeing gray hair.
It's, it's nothing to beashamed of.
But I think when you're in your20s and 30s, I mean I was
working in the salon and spaindustry, so it was nothing to
color our hair, that's what wedid, that was my occupation was
working in beauty.
(03:12):
So I've had all different colorhair highlighted, you know,
whatever covered the grays.
And you know, when I first sawmy gray hair, my dad went gray,
very similar to mine, and hewent gray in his 30s.
But for men, you know, when Ifirst saw my gray hair, my dad
went gray, very similar to mine,and he went gray in his 30s.
But for men, you know, that's,yeah, it's, you know, much more
acceptable.
And when I first saw my gray, Iwas like, oh no, like I
(03:35):
inherited my dad's gray hair.
So you know, of course Icolored it for many years and
really thought that I would becoloring my hair until I died.
Like I was steadfast, like yeah, I'm going to, you know, bury
me with my roots colored.
And here we are today I have awhole second career because I
(03:57):
embraced my gray hair.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Go figure, yeah so, and it looks so beautiful and I
see more and more women, I meanI don't want to say it's a trend
, but I do see more and morewomen, maybe since 2020.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I think 2020 did definitely sparked people not
having access to hair salons.
So, yes, they started toembrace their gray and thought
you know what?
I kind of like this, and so Ithink that definitely was the
start of it, but I think, evenmore recently, with celebrities
starting to embrace their gray,now it's really even more so
catching on, which I think iswonderful.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
It's fabulous.
So, you know, let's talk aboutaging, because there's a lot
around pro-aging and you knowall of that type of thing, and I
love that because aging is sucha privilege, right.
I mean, every day we wake upand it's like this is amazing.
But there's so many people andthere might be people listening
right now or that are watchingand are saying, man, I just I'm
(04:54):
really frustrated.
I'm frustrated because I get upand I'm slower out of bed.
You know, I have a little bitmore tenderness in my joints.
I look in the mirror and I see,you know, it's like woe is me
every day, and there are partsof me too that some days it's
like all right, I would ratherstay in bed and I just don't
want to tackle this today.
But I get up, get dressed, getgoing.
(05:14):
You have to.
But for those that arelistening and are really
struggling, give us some tips onhow we can just age fearlessly
and boldly.
Age fearlessly and boldly.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Well, I will start the conversation by saying
granted, we don't loveeverything about getting older.
I mean, I think you know let'sjust call it what it is I mean,
a lot of it is amazing, but alot of it sucks.
You know, you kind of see yourold self slipping away
physically.
Yes, you have sore joints.
You know, you're maybe inmenopause.
(05:44):
That's a whole nother podcastepisode.
But yes, let's remember, thisis what I tell myself.
Let's remember I didn't loveeverything about being young
either.
Every decade has its gifts andchallenges, and so what was was
right, we lived it, we had agood time.
(06:04):
This is a new era.
So, rather than trying tocompare it to what was,
appreciate it for what is.
There are so many gifts thatcome with age, things that I now
would not trade for.
Perk your boobs.
Let's just say that, right,yeah, yeah, love it.
Let's just say that right, yeah, yeah, love it.
(06:30):
My confidence, my sense ofreally knowing who I am, my you
know, my peace that I have nowat this stage in life, I would
not trade that to go back to my20s or 30s Now, that's not to
say that there weren't greatthings about being 20 and 30.
But that's it.
I think we have to just learnto love every decade.
But that's it.
I think we have to just learnto love every decade.
And that's really why I namedmy Instagram page the Beauty
Debut, because I think beauty isdifferent in every decade and
(06:54):
we kind of reveal and debut anew version of ourself every
decade.
So I think again, rather thantrying to hold on to what was,
appreciate what is and the giftsand yes, there are going to be
some things you're like oh, myback hurts now.
Oh, I can't, you know, I can'trun as fast as I used to, or
whatever it is that you'relamenting about but I think that
(07:16):
it's important to remember that, yeah, that happens, it's part
of life.
You know, aging is part of thelife experience.
This is a life experience we'rehaving, and I look at it that
way.
So I think it's more about yourmindset than anything else.
You know, your mindset has tobe in a place of peace.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I love that.
It does have to be in a senseof peace.
It does.
And I think, right along withthat mindset reframe is the fact
that, you know, I had on awoman years ago on my show and
she's a friend of mine, but sheactually lost her son in the
Sandy Hook school shooting yearsago and she was on the show and
she was talking about just lifeand reframing narratives.
(08:00):
Narratives, and one of thethings she said that is so
powerful, and certainly manyhave said it since, is you
change those?
I have to's to.
I get to, you know, I get towake up, I get to do the things
because I'm aging and becauseI'm getting older, but I get to
do those and I think that goesalong with what you were just
saying.
You know we get to do this.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, we are fortunate, like you said, to
have this aging experience,because what's the alternative?
You're not aging yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
what's the alternative?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah you're not living.
So this is all part of thejourney and the life experience
and I think that I'm enjoyingthis decade of my 50s immensely
and I'm hoping that I'll beenjoying my 60s and whatever you
know, the universe has in storefor me, whatever my life path
will be.
But I don't like to look back.
(08:51):
I think that's where you canreally kind of get stuck
thinking oh, look at me here,you know.
Oh, look at my skin, look atthis.
It's like what is the point inthat?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
it kind of steals joy from the present moment of that
whole phase of life in your 20s, when you're trying to get
(09:24):
further faster.
You know you're saying I can doit by myself.
I can do it so much betteralone because I'm in control of
it.
And it'll get done right.
It'll get done the right way ifI do it.
And then there's this narrativeshift and I think, in our 50s
especially, I certainly havedecided that I'm going to use my
resources, I'm going tocollaborate with incredible
(09:44):
women.
I want to meet somebody likeyou, claudia.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I want to learn from you and there really is a shift
around that, don't you think?
Yeah, I think there is.
I think that again we'retalking about every decade has
its gifts, right.
So she's in that like phase oftrying to get ahead, trying to
figure out life.
You know, you think when you'rein your 20s and 30s that you
don't have a lot of time, likewe have to hurry up and have all
these experiences.
And what's really nice is whenyou reach a destination in your
(10:10):
40s and 50s, you're like I don'tknow, time just feels different
.
And to me now, you know, thislast half of my life is going to
be the best half of my life andthat's how I move in the world
and that's how I move forward.
And I'm not in a rush because Ithink everything happens at the
right time when it's supposedto.
(10:31):
For you and I didn't know thator didn't have that in my inner
knowing in my soul when I was inmy 20s You're so worried about
what others think too.
When you're young, you'retrying to fit in as much as
possible.
Being different isn't alwayscelebrated when you're in your
20s so, like I said, I wouldn'twant to go back to that time.
(10:53):
I love it for your daughter andI think it's great and she's
having her own experience.
But I don't envy that.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Right, I would agree with you 100%.
I wouldn't want to go backeither.
I really wouldn't.
Right, I would agree with you100%.
I wouldn't want to go backeither.
I really wouldn't.
I've learned so much more, youknow.
I also think there's and I'dlove to get your perspective on
this, because I love that thereis such a spotlight on 50s and
beyond, and there is, there is aspotlight right now that is
shining on this generation.
You know, menopausal women,perimenopause, menopause and
(11:21):
postmenopause.
It's fabulous, but there alsocomes along with that, I think,
a sense of pressure and what Imean by that, and I hope I can
articulate it properly, becauseI'd love to get your perspective
.
I kind of take it back tomiddle school, like if you're
walking the middle schoolhallways and you see somebody
that you know made thecheerleading squad and they're a
(11:43):
straight-A student and they'redoing all these things and
they're student councilpresident, everything seems to
be kind of aligning for them.
And then there's a few thatmight have acne and are a little
bit more shy and they just havea problem.
They just don't feel confident.
I worry a bit, when there'ssuch a spotlight on us in our
(12:03):
50s and beyond, that there aresome that are feeling very
intimidated because they'rehaving a hard time figuring out
their next.
They don't want to write a book, they don't want to be in the
spotlight and be an influencer,but they want to do something
for them.
But they get stuck.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Can you see what I mean a little bit.
Oh, I love that.
I would have to agree.
I think that when we scrollthrough Instagram and we see
women in their 50s beingcelebrated, you know I will say
it's kind of.
There is a certain type thatgets celebrated.
It's tall, thin, right, thinsometimes, you know, still
(12:39):
coloring their hair, thin,sometimes, you know, still
coloring their hair.
We're still, as a society,holding on to.
I'm going to celebrate thisperson because she looks young,
right, looks young for 50.
Yep, and so this type of personcan be celebrated because, wow,
look at how she looks right,where the majority of women in
(13:03):
their 50s aren't tall and thin.
You know, we're going throughmenopause, you have a belly,
your boobs are shifting theposition of the body, you know,
and I think that we, the more ofus that do put ourself out
there because I'm not that tall,thin person I never was, I
never will be but I think whenwe can find people on Instagram
(13:31):
that look like us, that we canrelate to in some fashion, I
think that really helps and Ithink the more of us that are
coming forward and puttingourselves out there is really
better for the whole ofeverybody, because aging looks
different on everybody.
I get critiques sometimes onsocial saying, oh, you've had
work done, you've had this done,you know.
And I think we forget in oursociety that everyone does age
(13:53):
different and it's okay, it'snot a right or wrong.
And I think we forget too whata real aging face looks like,
because we've been.
I mean, there's filters, peoplehave gotten, you know, cosmetic
enhancements as they age, andso we forget what does a real
aging person look like?
(14:14):
What does a real aging, youknow 50 year old or so look like
?
And I think it's.
You know we're still a littletwisted in the way that we view
aging, that we're only going tocelebrate those that look
younger or we're only going toapplaud the women that have been
able to maintain a slimphysique.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
I have to agree with you on that.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I think that there's still a lot of room for change
and even though we're beingelevated and celebrated,
marketing and the beautyindustry ignores us completely.
So we still have a lot of workto do.
You know we don't see ourselveseven in.
I was shopping for clothes theother day online, and you know,
shopping at a store, macy'slet's just say online, there are
(14:59):
no women our age modelingclothes, right, right, right.
You know we still have a longway to go to be truly seen as
not evaporated.
You know you don't see anybeauty ads with.
You know, maybe here and theresprinkling, but overall it's,
you know, an average 30 year oldthat's being featured, or a 25
(15:19):
year old.
And you know that's where I'mtrying to make some change in
the beauty space.
I love that Is how we see aging, more women being featured, and
that's really, really importantto me.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
It is.
So I think I don't have a longway to go.
I've got to be honest with you.
I had my physical with the newdoc where I'm living now and
I've got to be honest.
I went in.
You know, you got to do the oldremember the scale when they
used to have to move that metalthing and it would go click,
click oh it's horrible.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
You just wanted it to stay.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yes, you wanted to stay at the quarter and then it
moved to the half and you'relike, oh damn it.
But anyway, I I had to, youknow, be measured and you got to
stand at the wall and let yourshoulders down and I'm like just
fingers crossed, toes crossed,I'm still five, four and a half.
Come on, I'm still fine.
And she goes about five, five.
I was like what?
Like I'm five, five.
(16:11):
Now I'm really going tocelebrate this.
So it is funny, you do kind of.
You know you go in and I stillhave a little bit of dread
around the scale and things.
But you know we've got tocelebrate where we are and our
stories, that we've got here andthat's why I love what you're
doing, just around pro-aging andembracing this stage.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I do want to talk a bit about comparison you
mentioned your daughter.
She's 20, right 27.
20-year-olds are starting to bemarketed to fear aging.
They're telling these youngwomen to get Botox to prevent
age.
That infuriates me, becausewhen can we just be like?
Even being a 20 year old isn'tgood enough anymore.
(16:49):
You have to start preparing notto get, not to look older Like.
I'm so glad that you know.
We grew up in a time where thatwasn't a thing and we got to
just enjoy being 20 and it wasgreat.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Right now, it's just so much pressure on women.
You think about the photos andnow the social media.
I mean I still have my littlesenior picture and people would
sign it on the back Hegs have agreat summer.
It was like that was it?
You had the little I mean.
Now it is, and it is true about20-year-olds it is.
Now they're marketing Botox for20-year-olds to be proactive
(17:23):
for aging.
It's crazy.
I want to talk about, of course.
Eleanor Roosevelt saidcomparison is a thief of joy.
We've heard it a million times.
How can we get past that?
Because we get stuck in thattrap of comparing ourselves to
others.
How do you move past that?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, I think there's a turning point.
It's nice to follow certaininfluencers or people on social
or whoever it is that you getinspiration from.
I think that's whereinspiration is great.
You know, I follow people thatI'm.
You know, like I was talkingabout fitness, right, I follow
some 50 somethings that are justreally into fitness and it
(18:00):
motivates me.
It's like, okay, I know I cando this.
You know, maybe not to theextent that they're doing it,
but it motivates me.
So that's inspiration.
Where it becomes negative iswhen you're feeling less than
you're not feeling good aboutyourself because something, even
if they're not meaning to do ityou watching them makes you
(18:21):
feel bad.
That's where you have control,though.
On social media, you can chooseto unfollow people and nothing
against them they haven't doneanything wrong to you but you
have to fill your feed with what?
And there's nothing wrong withprotecting your mental
well-being.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Amen, there's nothing wrong with that?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That's like a life audit and a time audit.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, and it's evaluating.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
You know I had unfollowing people because they
made me feel like I wasn't whereI should be in life.
You know Exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
And nothing against them.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
They're living their best life, but for me I had to
like against them, they'reliving their best life, but for
me I had to like mute them.
I had to like I can't see thatright now because I'm not in the
headspace where I can take thaton, so I think it's totally
okay to curate your Instagram orwhat you're letting into your
space.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I love that.
Yeah, I always say bless themand block them.
That's what I do.
I mean, it just is one of thosethings bless them and block
them because it just isn't theright.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, I know it sounds good.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Well, we're not talking about trolls.
Trolls are different.
Yeah right, that's different,that's different.
Let's talk about your routine alittle bit that it's important
to have routines.
Is there kind of a beautyroutine that you follow, a
morning routine that you canshare with us and somebody
listening might go?
Okay, claudia, does that, I cando that.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Well, here's the thing as an influencer guess
what?
I'm not going to even mentionone product or one cream or one
serum or one makeup product thatyou need because you don't need
it.
It's fun to have, but you don'tneed it.
Makeup product that you needbecause you don't need it it's
fun to have, but you don't needit.
When I get ready in the morning, I call it makeup meditation,
(20:12):
and I know that sounds like itdoesn't go together.
But all of my life taking timein the morning, whether it's
just putting on a lipstick ormassaging and a face cream for
the day, whatever, your limitsare right that is the time that
I personally and I recommendthis to women that's like our
only, sometimes our only time toquiet our mind.
(20:32):
You're looking at yourself inthe mirror, what you say to
yourself in this five minutetime, 10 minute time, whatever
time you have so important toset your intention for the day.
So, rather than looking in themirror and be like, oh, when did
this spot appear?
Or oh, look at my wrinkles.
(20:53):
I don't do that and that hashelped me mentally I look past
that and I just tell myself youknow, you got the day, you're
beautiful, you know.
Whatever I need to hear thatday, or maybe in my mind.
I'm kind of working through alife situation and I'm kind of
working a conversation in myhead how I'm going to say
(21:16):
something.
That is my meditation time.
So I call it makeup meditation,you can call it skincare
meditation, but this is a timeto be loving to yourself.
Tell yourself that you're avalue, that you matter, that you
count.
I think that is such animportant aspect in beauty and
(21:39):
often not talked about.
You know, people are selling usanti aging creams.
People are selling us oh, thisfoundation will make your skin
look good.
All of that is fun.
I see that as fun.
I don't hold it to the valuethat maybe others do.
I think it's more importantthat, as your ritual, what are
you thinking?
(21:59):
You thinking in your mind ismost important, and that is the
key to aging well, and what youhold true for yourself in your
mind is really what shinesthrough to other.
You know that all your cellshear what you're saying.
Your body hears what you'resaying, so you gotta I would
agree with that.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
It's such a challenge , claudia.
It's such a challenge for somany to treat ourselves as a
guest of honor.
You know it is.
I say it all the time.
You've got to treat yourself asa guest of honor.
When you have people in yourhome, you welcome them with love
and kindness and generosity andall of those things, and we
don't do it for ourselves.
And now we've earned this partof our journey.
(22:44):
I mean, we've earned this.
We've earned.
We should wear this aging as abadge of honor because it's
pretty fabulous.
But you're so right Just totake a few moments every day and
just be present with yourselfwhere you are in the moment.
I love that.
I think that's a great takeawayfor people.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, and to me that's the best beauty advice I
can give.
It's not about what you'reputting on, it's really what
you're telling yourself.
And it took me a long time tolearn that this wasn't something
that I just have always known.
I was very hard on myself andmy youth and criticizing myself
(23:21):
and putting myself down, and Ithink maybe someone out there
can definitely relate to that.
But there came a time in mylife where and it really was, as
I've embraced this aging, youknow, really at the when I
turned 50, it's just likesomething really happened,
shifted and I just startedsaying enough, enough of this
(23:41):
like this is not serving me andit really has changed my life.
It really has changed the way Isee aging and the way I see
myself and the way I feel aboutmyself.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
And it shows.
It shows how you carry yourselfand that's so important.
You know, it's just that you'rea beautiful woman and you can
tell beautiful inside and out.
And following you on Instagram,which you know everyone that's
watching and listening will.
I'll have that on the episodenotes, but I think it's just so
encouraging for us because weneed to have each other's back.
I would love for you to walk methrough.
You mentioned earlier in thisconversation that there have
(24:13):
been times when there's beencomments.
I mean you're an influencer,people are looking at you and
they're judging.
You know they're all judging.
I mean everybody's a judger atsome point.
They're judging you, they'rejudging this, they're judging
that.
How do you get your innercheerleader back when your inner
(24:35):
critic is really, really loudand you're looking at comments
that people are putting andyou're going?
I mean those have to affect you.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Sometimes they sting when it comes from other women,
when it's criticizing, you know,your gray hair or your choices
about aging.
But I think what I've learnedabout people being on social
media is it's really more aboutthem than it is about you.
Sometimes people are triggeredand that triggers their own
(25:02):
ageist views or it triggerstheir own self hatred and they
kind of spew it back at you.
So I've learned just to reallylet most of that roll off.
I mean, there's some days theyget me and I'm like you know,
back at them Because I'm human.
You know right?
Yeah, overall, I let it rolloff off and I leave the comments
(25:25):
there.
I don't delete them because,good for you, let others see
what they're about, because Ithink, yes, we do judge each
other and it's OK to scroll andyou see something.
Maybe you're like, oh, thatlooks terrible, look at her
outfit, I don't like it.
But you know what?
What?
What healthy people do is theykeep scrolling.
You know to to stop, to taketime to put something mean on.
(25:50):
Another woman's post to me saysa lot more about them.
If something isn't resonatingwith you, keep scrolling.
Again, you're the curator ofyour Instagram, so you can
decide what you want to see.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Right, you want the power there, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yeah, when you know haters or trolls, whatever you
want to call them, when theyleave mean comments, I laugh to
myself because I'm like guesswhat?
Now you're going to startseeing more of me and more women
my age, because the algorithmsays oh, you're engaging with
this, you like this, Let me showyou more.
So I think it's hilarious, sogo ahead comment, comment all
(26:29):
you want.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
So last two questions what's really inspiring you
right now?
Is there something, someonethat's really your inspiration
right now?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Well, you know, funny enough, I think my inspiration
and I'm so blessed comes from mymother.
My mother is always been myinspiration.
You know, I am very fortunateto have such a close
relationship with my mom and sheinspires me Because I feel that
(27:02):
, you know, now I appreciate herso much more than I did when I
was a young woman.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
And.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I know your daughter is going to feel that way about
you as she gets older and hasmore life experience.
And you know I love justsitting and talking with my mom
and really seeing her not as mymom but as a woman that went
through life, had struggles, youknow, had to find her way, and
(27:29):
I take inspiration from learningabout her journey and really
seeing her as a person, not justseeing her as my mom and you
know, with the expectations weput on our mom, I'm just seeing
her as Rosemary you know, as whoshe is and really appreciating
the sacrifices and things thatshe did in her life to make my
(27:51):
life better.
So she is my inspiration.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Oh, do I love that.
What a gift.
What a gift.
You know it's funny.
My mom sadly passed away in2015.
And I miss her so much.
I had a woman on last week wewere talking about.
I asked her the question.
I said she had lost her momrecently and I said do you still
talk to your mom?
Because I talk to my mom everyday.
And there was that point, likeyou just said, in your
(28:17):
relationship and I remember itin my relationship In my 20s.
It was like oh yeah, she'salways going to be there, mom's
always going to be there.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, she doesn't know what she's talking about.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Mom, stop, yeah, yes, she knows nothing, basically.
And then there's that shift.
And what beautiful words.
I will have the production teamhere send a special thing to
you about that, because I wantyou to always remember the
things you just said about yourmom, because they were so
beautiful, and I want her to beable to hear that, because she
will, oh, that will resonate inways that you, that's a gift to
(28:48):
her you've just given.
That is just incredible.
So thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, and I, you know , and for those I know, not
everyone has that kind ofrelationship with their mother,
so I don't want to put that, youknow, to make anyone feel bad.
Again, you know, not comparing,you know, but I think we all
have somebody that's a mentor inour life, another woman, you
know.
I feel like we don't get towhere we are in life without
(29:13):
help, you know, whether it'sfrom a teacher, whether it's
from your best friend that youwere blessed with.
You know, a sister.
There's another woman in yourlife somewhere that took out a
hand and said here, let me helpyou up, let me show you or let
me give you some guidance, andto me those are the women that
(29:34):
are inspiring.
They're kind of like the unsungheroes.
I think.
You know, we could easily pointto a celebrity or point to you
know somebody like that, butthere's, there's stars in our
lives that we overlook.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yes, yes, and I think we should hold the door open
with our heel and open it forthat next woman to pass through,
because I think that is soimportant.
Oh, Claudia, I love spendingtime with you.
I could talk forever.
I love the way you youinfluence in a way that is very
inspirational.
You offer great guidance andinsight and value through your
(30:09):
words and I can tell howthoughtful just from following
you and not meeting you untiltoday your thoughtfulness and
how you execute your words is agift from God and I think that's
fantastic.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Oh, thank you.
Thanks so much.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
You're welcome.
No, I really like, and I think,another thing at this stage of
life and then I'll ask you.
The final question is that weneed to let women know when we
admire them.
So often we forget to do thator we say, oh yeah, they're
really great, oh yeah, but wedon't take the time to actually
be intentional about it and sayyou know what I admire you for
this.
So anybody listening orwatching, if there's a woman out
(30:44):
there, just like Claudia justmentioned, there's people that
help us along.
We all have mentors and thosepeople may not even know they
mentor us.
But you know what?
If you admire someone, let themknow, because what a gift that
is to hear that, because oftenwe feel very undervalued or
overlooked.
So let them know.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
We do, and don't be afraid to give another woman a
compliment.
I make effort when I'm out,whether I'm just at Starbucks
getting coffee and I see, youknow, interact with another
woman.
I'm like your eyes are sobeautiful, you'll be surprised.
People are taken aback there,you know.
You could tell that maybethey're not used to hearing that
(31:21):
or they haven't heard that in along time.
Uplift each other.
You know women could tell thatmaybe they're not used to
hearing that or they haven'theard that in a long time.
Uplift each other.
You know women have to look outfor other women and I make a
point of that and not becauseI'm trying just to.
You know, blow smoke upsomeone's butt.
You know I say things genuinelyand I find beauty in all women.
I did makeup for many years onwomen and I was always just so
(31:46):
amazed that, no matter who myclient was, I was always honing
in on their beauty.
And I'm like women just don'tknow how beautiful they really
are and the power that they havewithin them.
And you know, I think makeup ispower.
I think you know all of thatcan be very powerful.
But it's okay to adorn yourself.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
You know it's okay, girl, you, yep, yep, you are my
soul sister on that.
I love that.
I love that.
So last question for you is aquestion I ask all my guests,
and that is Claudia if you weresitting on the couch and you
look over and there you are, at30, what advice would you give
her?
Speaker 2 (32:27):
I would let her know that everything you need to be
successful is already inside ofyou, everything you don't need
to search outward.
You know, god placed all yourgifts inside you on the day you
were born and it's there for youto share with the world.
So all you have to do is beyour authentic self and share
(32:50):
your gifts.
We all have gifts and we havesomething to offer the world and
I think again, we're trying tofit into molds as we are growing
and finding ourselves and allthe gifts we have are placed
there and they're there for usto share.
And that's really the journeyof life is sharing your gifts
(33:10):
with other people, whether it'sthrough your word, through your
food, through whatever giftsyou're given.
That's the purpose of life isto share that with everybody.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Thank you.
I love that.
That is fabulous advice,fabulous advice.
Thank you so much, claudia, forjoining me today.
Well, thanks for having me.
It's been an honor.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome and we'll be intouch and everything will be in
the show notes where you canfollow along and learn more
about Claudia.
Thanks again, thank you.
Hey, fearless Friends , it's Amy Schmidt and welcome
to another episode of theFearlessly Facing 50 and Beyond
podcast.
So today, the F word.
Let's hear the drum roll.
Here we go.
Yeah, we are Fearlessly Facing50s.
All right, I'm right there withthis guest.
And you know what?
She's pretty amazing.
She's an icon in the beautyworld, really.
(00:20):
And you know what?
She got her first gray hair at30.
Yeah, yeah, we're going to talkabout all these things.
She's basically got sparklingsilvers that are lighting up the
world with her pro-agingencouragement.
So come along for the gray hairinspiration today and meet my
guest, claudia Fabian.
All right, so here we are.
(00:47):
You heard in the intro, I got apretty amazing guest today and
you know, when she went oncamera and we started rolling
here, I was like, wow, you lookfabulous.
Look at you, claudia, you lookamazing.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Well, thank you and thanks for having me.
I'm really excited to have thisconversation, which I think is
so important, and you know I cantalk about this topic all day
long.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I know, isn't it amazing.
I always feel like, you know,as we age, I think to my mom a
lot of times.
Now I'm well into my 50s, butwhen I first launched my brand,
you know, I was thinking back towhen my mom was 50.
And I remember the day becauseI remember kind of helping her
put a pearl necklace on becauseshe was having a 50th birthday
party, and then I kind of lookwhere I am and I'm like, yeah,
(01:32):
and my mom passed away in 2015,sadly, but my 50s is very
different from her 50s.
You know, I feel I had thisconversation recently with a
woman and I said, you know, Ithink I might just have more
confidence than my mom had.
I think we're more confident,more confident Gen Xers.
What do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I would have to agree with that.
I think that our generation hasa that dichotomy of tradition
and old school way of doingthings and our generation has
(02:12):
kind of broken some of thosemolds, thankfully, and I feel
like we're paving the way foryounger women to not fear
getting older and I'm reallyhappy to be part of that
movement.
I mean, to me it's like I said,it's a passion of mine and I
can talk about it all day.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
And it is really a movement I want you to talk to
me a little bit about, becausewe talk a little bit.
Let's just go back a little bithere and meet Claudia when she
was in her 30s and, like youknow, take me back.
I was reading an article.
I think you maybe wrote anarticle, or there was a blog
post or something that talkedabout I had my first gray hair
in my 30s.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, I mean, I think , you know, a lot of women get
gray hair in their 20s, you know, they start seeing gray hair.
It's, it's nothing to beashamed of.
But I think when you're in your20s and 30s, I mean I was
working in the salon and spaindustry, so it was nothing to
color our hair, that's what wedid, that was my occupation was
working in beauty.
(03:12):
So I've had all different colorhair highlighted, you know,
whatever covered the grays.
And you know, when I first sawmy gray hair, my dad went gray,
very similar to mine, and hewent gray in his 30s.
But for men, you know, when Ifirst saw my gray hair, my dad
went gray, very similar to mine,and he went gray in his 30s.
But for men, you know, that's,yeah, it's, you know, much more
acceptable.
And when I first saw my gray, Iwas like, oh no, like I
(03:35):
inherited my dad's gray hair.
So you know, of course Icolored it for many years and
really thought that I would becoloring my hair until I died.
Like I was steadfast, like yeah, I'm going to, you know, bury
me with my roots colored.
And here we are today I have awhole second career because I
(03:57):
embraced my gray hair.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Go figure, yeah so, and it looks so beautiful and I
see more and more women, I meanI don't want to say it's a trend
, but I do see more and morewomen, maybe since 2020.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I think 2020 did definitely sparked people not
having access to hair salons.
So, yes, they started toembrace their gray and thought
you know what?
I kind of like this, and so Ithink that definitely was the
start of it, but I think, evenmore recently, with celebrities
starting to embrace their gray,now it's really even more so
catching on, which I think iswonderful.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
It's fabulous.
So, you know, let's talk aboutaging, because there's a lot
around pro-aging and you knowall of that type of thing, and I
love that because aging is sucha privilege, right.
I mean, every day we wake upand it's like this is amazing.
But there's so many people andthere might be people listening
right now or that are watchingand are saying, man, I just I'm
(04:54):
really frustrated.
I'm frustrated because I get upand I'm slower out of bed.
You know, I have a little bitmore tenderness in my joints.
I look in the mirror and I see,you know, it's like woe is me
every day, and there are partsof me too that some days it's
like all right, I would ratherstay in bed and I just don't
want to tackle this today.
But I get up, get dressed, getgoing.
(05:14):
You have to.
But for those that arelistening and are really
struggling, give us some tips onhow we can just age fearlessly
and boldly.
Age fearlessly and boldly.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Well, I will start the conversation by saying
granted, we don't loveeverything about getting older.
I mean, I think you know let'sjust call it what it is I mean,
a lot of it is amazing, but alot of it sucks.
You know, you kind of see yourold self slipping away
physically.
Yes, you have sore joints.
You know, you're maybe inmenopause.
(05:44):
That's a whole nother podcastepisode.
But yes, let's remember, thisis what I tell myself.
Let's remember I didn't loveeverything about being young
either.
Every decade has its gifts andchallenges, and so what was was
right, we lived it, we had agood time.
(06:04):
This is a new era.
So, rather than trying tocompare it to what was,
appreciate it for what is.
There are so many gifts thatcome with age, things that I now
would not trade for.
Perk your boobs.
Let's just say that, right,yeah, yeah, love it.
Let's just say that right, yeah, yeah, love it.
(06:30):
My confidence, my sense ofreally knowing who I am, my you
know, my peace that I have nowat this stage in life, I would
not trade that to go back to my20s or 30s Now, that's not to
say that there weren't greatthings about being 20 and 30.
But that's it.
I think we have to just learnto love every decade.
But that's it.
I think we have to just learnto love every decade.
And that's really why I namedmy Instagram page the Beauty
Debut, because I think beauty isdifferent in every decade and
(06:54):
we kind of reveal and debut anew version of ourself every
decade.
So I think again, rather thantrying to hold on to what was,
appreciate what is and the giftsand yes, there are going to be
some things you're like oh, myback hurts now.
Oh, I can't, you know, I can'trun as fast as I used to, or
whatever it is that you'relamenting about but I think that
(07:16):
it's important to remember that, yeah, that happens, it's part
of life.
You know, aging is part of thelife experience.
This is a life experience we'rehaving, and I look at it that
way.
So I think it's more about yourmindset than anything else.
You know, your mindset has tobe in a place of peace.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I love that.
It does have to be in a senseof peace.
It does.
And I think, right along withthat mindset reframe is the fact
that, you know, I had on awoman years ago on my show and
she's a friend of mine, but sheactually lost her son in the
Sandy Hook school shooting yearsago and she was on the show and
she was talking about just lifeand reframing narratives.
(08:00):
Narratives, and one of thethings she said that is so
powerful, and certainly manyhave said it since, is you
change those?
I have to's to.
I get to, you know, I get towake up, I get to do the things
because I'm aging and becauseI'm getting older, but I get to
do those and I think that goesalong with what you were just
saying.
You know we get to do this.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, we are fortunate, like you said, to
have this aging experience,because what's the alternative?
You're not aging yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
what's the alternative?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah you're not living.
So this is all part of thejourney and the life experience
and I think that I'm enjoyingthis decade of my 50s immensely
and I'm hoping that I'll beenjoying my 60s and whatever you
know, the universe has in storefor me, whatever my life path
will be.
But I don't like to look back.
(08:51):
I think that's where you canreally kind of get stuck
thinking oh, look at me here,you know.
Oh, look at my skin, look atthis.
It's like what is the point inthat?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
it kind of steals joy from the present moment of that
whole phase of life in your 20s, when you're trying to get
(09:24):
further faster.
You know you're saying I can doit by myself.
I can do it so much betteralone because I'm in control of
it.
And it'll get done right.
It'll get done the right way ifI do it.
And then there's this narrativeshift and I think, in our 50s
especially, I certainly havedecided that I'm going to use my
resources, I'm going tocollaborate with incredible
(09:44):
women.
I want to meet somebody likeyou, claudia.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I want to learn from you and there really is a shift
around that, don't you think?
Yeah, I think there is.
I think that again we'retalking about every decade has
its gifts, right.
So she's in that like phase oftrying to get ahead, trying to
figure out life.
You know, you think when you'rein your 20s and 30s that you
don't have a lot of time, likewe have to hurry up and have all
these experiences.
And what's really nice is whenyou reach a destination in your
(10:10):
40s and 50s, you're like I don'tknow, time just feels different
.
And to me now, you know, thislast half of my life is going to
be the best half of my life andthat's how I move in the world
and that's how I move forward.
And I'm not in a rush because Ithink everything happens at the
right time when it's supposedto.
(10:31):
For you and I didn't know thator didn't have that in my inner
knowing in my soul when I was inmy 20s You're so worried about
what others think too.
When you're young, you'retrying to fit in as much as
possible.
Being different isn't alwayscelebrated when you're in your
20s so, like I said, I wouldn'twant to go back to that time.
(10:53):
I love it for your daughter andI think it's great and she's
having her own experience.
But I don't envy that.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Right, I would agree with you 100%.
I wouldn't want to go backeither.
I really wouldn't.
Right, I would agree with you100%.
I wouldn't want to go backeither.
I really wouldn't.
I've learned so much more, youknow.
I also think there's and I'dlove to get your perspective on
this, because I love that thereis such a spotlight on 50s and
beyond, and there is, there is aspotlight right now that is
shining on this generation.
You know, menopausal women,perimenopause, menopause and
(11:21):
postmenopause.
It's fabulous, but there alsocomes along with that, I think,
a sense of pressure and what Imean by that, and I hope I can
articulate it properly, becauseI'd love to get your perspective
.
I kind of take it back tomiddle school, like if you're
walking the middle schoolhallways and you see somebody
that you know made thecheerleading squad and they're a
(11:43):
straight-A student and they'redoing all these things and
they're student councilpresident, everything seems to
be kind of aligning for them.
And then there's a few thatmight have acne and are a little
bit more shy and they just havea problem.
They just don't feel confident.
I worry a bit, when there'ssuch a spotlight on us in our
(12:03):
50s and beyond, that there aresome that are feeling very
intimidated because they'rehaving a hard time figuring out
their next.
They don't want to write a book, they don't want to be in the
spotlight and be an influencer,but they want to do something
for them.
But they get stuck.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Can you see what I mean a little bit.
Oh, I love that.
I would have to agree.
I think that when we scrollthrough Instagram and we see
women in their 50s beingcelebrated, you know I will say
it's kind of.
There is a certain type thatgets celebrated.
It's tall, thin, right, thinsometimes, you know, still
(12:39):
coloring their hair, thin,sometimes, you know, still
coloring their hair.
We're still, as a society,holding on to.
I'm going to celebrate thisperson because she looks young,
right, looks young for 50.
Yep, and so this type of personcan be celebrated because, wow,
look at how she looks right,where the majority of women in
(13:03):
their 50s aren't tall and thin.
You know, we're going throughmenopause, you have a belly,
your boobs are shifting theposition of the body, you know,
and I think that we, the more ofus that do put ourself out
there because I'm not that tall,thin person I never was, I
never will be but I think whenwe can find people on Instagram
(13:31):
that look like us, that we canrelate to in some fashion, I
think that really helps and Ithink the more of us that are
coming forward and puttingourselves out there is really
better for the whole ofeverybody, because aging looks
different on everybody.
I get critiques sometimes onsocial saying, oh, you've had
work done, you've had this done,you know.
And I think we forget in oursociety that everyone does age
(13:53):
different and it's okay, it'snot a right or wrong.
And I think we forget too whata real aging face looks like,
because we've been.
I mean, there's filters, peoplehave gotten, you know, cosmetic
enhancements as they age, andso we forget what does a real
aging person look like?
(14:14):
What does a real aging, youknow 50 year old or so look like
?
And I think it's.
You know we're still a littletwisted in the way that we view
aging, that we're only going tocelebrate those that look
younger or we're only going toapplaud the women that have been
able to maintain a slimphysique.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
I have to agree with you on that.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I think that there's still a lot of room for change
and even though we're beingelevated and celebrated,
marketing and the beautyindustry ignores us completely.
So we still have a lot of workto do.
You know we don't see ourselveseven in.
I was shopping for clothes theother day online, and you know,
shopping at a store, macy'slet's just say online, there are
(14:59):
no women our age modelingclothes, right, right, right.
You know we still have a longway to go to be truly seen as
not evaporated.
You know you don't see anybeauty ads with.
You know, maybe here and theresprinkling, but overall it's,
you know, an average 30 year oldthat's being featured, or a 25
(15:19):
year old.
And you know that's where I'mtrying to make some change in
the beauty space.
I love that Is how we see aging, more women being featured, and
that's really, really importantto me.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
It is.
So I think I don't have a longway to go.
I've got to be honest with you.
I had my physical with the newdoc where I'm living now and
I've got to be honest.
I went in.
You know, you got to do the oldremember the scale when they
used to have to move that metalthing and it would go click,
click oh it's horrible.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
You just wanted it to stay.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yes, you wanted to stay at the quarter and then it
moved to the half and you'relike, oh damn it.
But anyway, I I had to, youknow, be measured and you got to
stand at the wall and let yourshoulders down and I'm like just
fingers crossed, toes crossed,I'm still five, four and a half.
Come on, I'm still fine.
And she goes about five, five.
I was like what?
Like I'm five, five.
(16:11):
Now I'm really going tocelebrate this.
So it is funny, you do kind of.
You know you go in and I stillhave a little bit of dread
around the scale and things.
But you know we've got tocelebrate where we are and our
stories, that we've got here andthat's why I love what you're
doing, just around pro-aging andembracing this stage.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I do want to talk a bit about comparison you
mentioned your daughter.
She's 20, right 27.
20-year-olds are starting to bemarketed to fear aging.
They're telling these youngwomen to get Botox to prevent
age.
That infuriates me, becausewhen can we just be like?
Even being a 20 year old isn'tgood enough anymore.
(16:49):
You have to start preparing notto get, not to look older Like.
I'm so glad that you know.
We grew up in a time where thatwasn't a thing and we got to
just enjoy being 20 and it wasgreat.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Right now, it's just so much pressure on women.
You think about the photos andnow the social media.
I mean I still have my littlesenior picture and people would
sign it on the back Hegs have agreat summer.
It was like that was it?
You had the little I mean.
Now it is, and it is true about20-year-olds it is.
Now they're marketing Botox for20-year-olds to be proactive
(17:23):
for aging.
It's crazy.
I want to talk about, of course.
Eleanor Roosevelt saidcomparison is a thief of joy.
We've heard it a million times.
How can we get past that?
Because we get stuck in thattrap of comparing ourselves to
others.
How do you move past that?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, I think there's a turning point.
It's nice to follow certaininfluencers or people on social
or whoever it is that you getinspiration from.
I think that's whereinspiration is great.
You know, I follow people thatI'm.
You know, like I was talkingabout fitness, right, I follow
some 50 somethings that are justreally into fitness and it
(18:00):
motivates me.
It's like, okay, I know I cando this.
You know, maybe not to theextent that they're doing it,
but it motivates me.
So that's inspiration.
Where it becomes negative iswhen you're feeling less than
you're not feeling good aboutyourself because something, even
if they're not meaning to do ityou watching them makes you
(18:21):
feel bad.
That's where you have control,though.
On social media, you can chooseto unfollow people and nothing
against them they haven't doneanything wrong to you but you
have to fill your feed with what?
And there's nothing wrong withprotecting your mental
well-being.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Amen, there's nothing wrong with that?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That's like a life audit and a time audit.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, and it's evaluating.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
You know I had unfollowing people because they
made me feel like I wasn't whereI should be in life.
You know Exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
And nothing against them.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
They're living their best life, but for me I had to
like against them, they'reliving their best life, but for
me I had to like mute them.
I had to like I can't see thatright now because I'm not in the
headspace where I can take thaton, so I think it's totally
okay to curate your Instagram orwhat you're letting into your
space.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I love that.
Yeah, I always say bless themand block them.
That's what I do.
I mean, it just is one of thosethings bless them and block
them because it just isn't theright.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, I know it sounds good.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Well, we're not talking about trolls.
Trolls are different.
Yeah right, that's different,that's different.
Let's talk about your routine alittle bit that it's important
to have routines.
Is there kind of a beautyroutine that you follow, a
morning routine that you canshare with us and somebody
listening might go?
Okay, claudia, does that, I cando that.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Well, here's the thing as an influencer guess
what?
I'm not going to even mentionone product or one cream or one
serum or one makeup product thatyou need because you don't need
it.
It's fun to have, but you don'tneed it.
Makeup product that you needbecause you don't need it it's
fun to have, but you don't needit.
When I get ready in the morning, I call it makeup meditation,
(20:12):
and I know that sounds like itdoesn't go together.
But all of my life taking timein the morning, whether it's
just putting on a lipstick ormassaging and a face cream for
the day, whatever, your limitsare right that is the time that
I personally and I recommendthis to women that's like our
only, sometimes our only time toquiet our mind.
(20:32):
You're looking at yourself inthe mirror, what you say to
yourself in this five minutetime, 10 minute time, whatever
time you have so important toset your intention for the day.
So, rather than looking in themirror and be like, oh, when did
this spot appear?
Or oh, look at my wrinkles.
(20:53):
I don't do that and that hashelped me mentally I look past
that and I just tell myself youknow, you got the day, you're
beautiful, you know.
Whatever I need to hear thatday, or maybe in my mind.
I'm kind of working through alife situation and I'm kind of
working a conversation in myhead how I'm going to say
(21:16):
something.
That is my meditation time.
So I call it makeup meditation,you can call it skincare
meditation, but this is a timeto be loving to yourself.
Tell yourself that you're avalue, that you matter, that you
count.
I think that is such animportant aspect in beauty and
(21:39):
often not talked about.
You know, people are selling usanti aging creams.
People are selling us oh, thisfoundation will make your skin
look good.
All of that is fun.
I see that as fun.
I don't hold it to the valuethat maybe others do.
I think it's more importantthat, as your ritual, what are
you thinking?
(21:59):
You thinking in your mind ismost important, and that is the
key to aging well, and what youhold true for yourself in your
mind is really what shinesthrough to other.
You know that all your cellshear what you're saying.
Your body hears what you'resaying, so you gotta I would
agree with that.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
It's such a challenge , claudia.
It's such a challenge for somany to treat ourselves as a
guest of honor.
You know it is.
I say it all the time.
You've got to treat yourself asa guest of honor.
When you have people in yourhome, you welcome them with love
and kindness and generosity andall of those things, and we
don't do it for ourselves.
And now we've earned this partof our journey.
(22:44):
I mean, we've earned this.
We've earned.
We should wear this aging as abadge of honor because it's
pretty fabulous.
But you're so right Just totake a few moments every day and
just be present with yourselfwhere you are in the moment.
I love that.
I think that's a great takeawayfor people.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, and to me that's the best beauty advice I
can give.
It's not about what you'reputting on, it's really what
you're telling yourself.
And it took me a long time tolearn that this wasn't something
that I just have always known.
I was very hard on myself andmy youth and criticizing myself
(23:21):
and putting myself down, and Ithink maybe someone out there
can definitely relate to that.
But there came a time in mylife where and it really was, as
I've embraced this aging, youknow, really at the when I
turned 50, it's just likesomething really happened,
shifted and I just startedsaying enough, enough of this
(23:41):
like this is not serving me andit really has changed my life.
It really has changed the way Isee aging and the way I see
myself and the way I feel aboutmyself.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
And it shows.
It shows how you carry yourselfand that's so important.
You know, it's just that you'rea beautiful woman and you can
tell beautiful inside and out.
And following you on Instagram,which you know everyone that's
watching and listening will.
I'll have that on the episodenotes, but I think it's just so
encouraging for us because weneed to have each other's back.
I would love for you to walk methrough.
You mentioned earlier in thisconversation that there have
(24:13):
been times when there's beencomments.
I mean you're an influencer,people are looking at you and
they're judging.
You know they're all judging.
I mean everybody's a judger atsome point.
They're judging you, they'rejudging this, they're judging
that.
How do you get your innercheerleader back when your inner
(24:35):
critic is really, really loudand you're looking at comments
that people are putting andyou're going?
I mean those have to affect you.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Sometimes they sting when it comes from other women,
when it's criticizing, you know,your gray hair or your choices
about aging.
But I think what I've learnedabout people being on social
media is it's really more aboutthem than it is about you.
Sometimes people are triggeredand that triggers their own
(25:02):
ageist views or it triggerstheir own self hatred and they
kind of spew it back at you.
So I've learned just to reallylet most of that roll off.
I mean, there's some days theyget me and I'm like you know,
back at them Because I'm human.
You know right?
Yeah, overall, I let it rolloff off and I leave the comments
(25:25):
there.
I don't delete them because,good for you, let others see
what they're about, because Ithink, yes, we do judge each
other and it's OK to scroll andyou see something.
Maybe you're like, oh, thatlooks terrible, look at her
outfit, I don't like it.
But you know what?
What?
What healthy people do is theykeep scrolling.
You know to to stop, to taketime to put something mean on.
(25:50):
Another woman's post to me saysa lot more about them.
If something isn't resonatingwith you, keep scrolling.
Again, you're the curator ofyour Instagram, so you can
decide what you want to see.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Right, you want the power there, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yeah, when you know haters or trolls, whatever you
want to call them, when theyleave mean comments, I laugh to
myself because I'm like guesswhat?
Now you're going to startseeing more of me and more women
my age, because the algorithmsays oh, you're engaging with
this, you like this, Let me showyou more.
So I think it's hilarious, sogo ahead comment, comment all
(26:29):
you want.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
So last two questions what's really inspiring you
right now?
Is there something, someonethat's really your inspiration
right now?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Well, you know, funny enough, I think my inspiration
and I'm so blessed comes from mymother.
My mother is always been myinspiration.
You know, I am very fortunateto have such a close
relationship with my mom and sheinspires me Because I feel that
(27:02):
, you know, now I appreciate herso much more than I did when I
was a young woman.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
And.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I know your daughter is going to feel that way about
you as she gets older and hasmore life experience.
And you know I love justsitting and talking with my mom
and really seeing her not as mymom but as a woman that went
through life, had struggles, youknow, had to find her way, and
(27:29):
I take inspiration from learningabout her journey and really
seeing her as a person, not justseeing her as my mom and you
know, with the expectations weput on our mom, I'm just seeing
her as Rosemary you know, as whoshe is and really appreciating
the sacrifices and things thatshe did in her life to make my
(27:51):
life better.
So she is my inspiration.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Oh, do I love that.
What a gift.
What a gift.
You know it's funny.
My mom sadly passed away in2015.
And I miss her so much.
I had a woman on last week wewere talking about.
I asked her the question.
I said she had lost her momrecently and I said do you still
talk to your mom?
Because I talk to my mom everyday.
And there was that point, likeyou just said, in your
(28:17):
relationship and I remember itin my relationship In my 20s.
It was like oh yeah, she'salways going to be there, mom's
always going to be there.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, she doesn't know what she's talking about.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Mom, stop, yeah, yes, she knows nothing, basically.
And then there's that shift.
And what beautiful words.
I will have the production teamhere send a special thing to
you about that, because I wantyou to always remember the
things you just said about yourmom, because they were so
beautiful, and I want her to beable to hear that, because she
will, oh, that will resonate inways that you, that's a gift to
(28:48):
her you've just given.
That is just incredible.
So thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, and I, you know , and for those I know, not
everyone has that kind ofrelationship with their mother,
so I don't want to put that, youknow, to make anyone feel bad.
Again, you know, not comparing,you know, but I think we all
have somebody that's a mentor inour life, another woman, you
know.
I feel like we don't get towhere we are in life without
(29:13):
help, you know, whether it'sfrom a teacher, whether it's
from your best friend that youwere blessed with.
You know, a sister.
There's another woman in yourlife somewhere that took out a
hand and said here, let me helpyou up, let me show you or let
me give you some guidance, andto me those are the women that
(29:34):
are inspiring.
They're kind of like the unsungheroes.
I think.
You know, we could easily pointto a celebrity or point to you
know somebody like that, butthere's, there's stars in our
lives that we overlook.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yes, yes, and I think we should hold the door open
with our heel and open it forthat next woman to pass through,
because I think that is soimportant.
Oh, Claudia, I love spendingtime with you.
I could talk forever.
I love the way you youinfluence in a way that is very
inspirational.
You offer great guidance andinsight and value through your
(30:09):
words and I can tell howthoughtful just from following
you and not meeting you untiltoday your thoughtfulness and
how you execute your words is agift from God and I think that's
fantastic.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Oh, thank you.
Thanks so much.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
You're welcome.
No, I really like, and I think,another thing at this stage of
life and then I'll ask you.
The final question is that weneed to let women know when we
admire them.
So often we forget to do thator we say, oh yeah, they're
really great, oh yeah, but wedon't take the time to actually
be intentional about it and sayyou know what I admire you for
this.
So anybody listening orwatching, if there's a woman out
(30:44):
there, just like Claudia justmentioned, there's people that
help us along.
We all have mentors and thosepeople may not even know they
mentor us.
But you know what?
If you admire someone, let themknow, because what a gift that
is to hear that, because oftenwe feel very undervalued or
overlooked.
So let them know.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
We do, and don't be afraid to give another woman a
compliment.
I make effort when I'm out,whether I'm just at Starbucks
getting coffee and I see, youknow, interact with another
woman.
I'm like your eyes are sobeautiful, you'll be surprised.
People are taken aback there,you know.
You could tell that maybethey're not used to hearing that
(31:21):
or they haven't heard that in along time.
Uplift each other.
You know women could tell thatmaybe they're not used to
hearing that or they haven'theard that in a long time.
Uplift each other.
You know women have to look outfor other women and I make a
point of that and not becauseI'm trying just to.
You know, blow smoke upsomeone's butt.
You know I say things genuinelyand I find beauty in all women.
I did makeup for many years onwomen and I was always just so
(31:46):
amazed that, no matter who myclient was, I was always honing
in on their beauty.
And I'm like women just don'tknow how beautiful they really
are and the power that they havewithin them.
And you know, I think makeup ispower.
I think you know all of thatcan be very powerful.
But it's okay to adorn yourself.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
You know it's okay, girl, you, yep, yep, you are my
soul sister on that.
I love that.
I love that.
So last question for you is aquestion I ask all my guests,
and that is Claudia if you weresitting on the couch and you
look over and there you are, at30, what advice would you give
her?
Speaker 2 (32:27):
I would let her know that everything you need to be
successful is already inside ofyou, everything you don't need
to search outward.
You know, god placed all yourgifts inside you on the day you
were born and it's there for youto share with the world.
So all you have to do is beyour authentic self and share
(32:50):
your gifts.
We all have gifts and we havesomething to offer the world and
I think again, we're trying tofit into molds as we are growing
and finding ourselves and allthe gifts we have are placed
there and they're there for usto share.
And that's really the journeyof life is sharing your gifts
(33:10):
with other people, whether it'sthrough your word, through your
food, through whatever giftsyou're given.
That's the purpose of life isto share that with everybody.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Thank you.
I love that.
That is fabulous advice,fabulous advice.
Thank you so much, claudia, forjoining me today.
Well, thanks for having me.
It's been an honor.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome and we'll be intouch and everything will be in
the show notes where you canfollow along and learn more
about Claudia.
Thanks again, thank you.
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