June 5, 2025 • 32 mins
Have you ever felt like you're doing everything "right" according to everyone else's checklist, yet something feels profoundly missing? Margaret White knows that feeling all too well. As a self-proclaimed recovering perfectionist and former overachiever, she found herself waking up one morning with the stark realization that despite her successful career, marriage, and all the external markers of achievement, she was utterly depleted.
This powerful conversation takes us through Margaret's transformative journey from living by others' expectations to discovering what she calls "soul alignment." With refreshing candor, she shares the moment that changed everything – when she canceled her husband from their vacation and spent two weeks alone in the Caribbean, reconnecting with herself and hearing the whispers of her intuition for perhaps the first time in years.
Margaret challenges conventional wisdom around work-life balance, suggesting we should instead seek harmony – a dynamic dance that ebbs and flows rather than a tightrope walk of tension. "We were never intended or created to work from depletion," she explains. "We were created to be poured into so that we could then give of our gifts, time, and talent to others."
The discussion dives deep into what it means to get over "the overs" – overachieving, overstriving, overfunctioning, overcompensating, and overcommitting. For women who find themselves perpetually stuck in these patterns, Margaret offers practical wisdom for breaking free and creating space for what truly matters. She simplifies the often-elusive concept of alignment: "Alignment really comes down to how you're choosing."
Whether you're feeling caught in a hamster wheel of busyness, struggling with permission to prioritize your needs, or simply seeking more meaning in your daily life, Margaret's parting wisdom will stay with you: "Don't shrink to fit into spaces you're not meant to be in." This episode is for anyone ready to move beyond external validation and into the powerful place of living authentically, loving abundantly, and thriving unimaginably.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey Fearless Friends, it's Amy Schmidt and welcome to
another episode of theFearlessly Facing 50 and Beyond
podcast.
We've got a great guest instore for you today.
I just want to remind you,don't forget to check out the
website fearlesslyfacing50.com,f-i-f-t-y and you know what.
You can follow me on all thesocials.
Theamyschmidt andfearlesslyfacing50 underscore
(00:20):
the F-word series.
That's what we're into rightnow is the F Word series.
Yep, you got it All those Fwords we face as we age.
Today's guest is Margaret White.
She is an inspiration in somany ways.
If you are someone that hasbeen dictated by your calendar,
maybe you roll out of bed andthe first thing you do is check
your socials, check your emails,and you have a to-do list that
(00:42):
is overflowing.
This is an episode for you.
We're going to be talking aboutfearlessly finding time,
finding time in our busyschedules, so stay tuned for my
episode with Margaret White.
Hey, fearless friends.
Well, you heard in the intro,this is going to be another
(01:03):
great conversation.
I'm excited about this show andyou know, before I even get
started today, I want to say youknow, I don't have really
coaches on my show.
I have to be honest, I really,in all of the years of doing it,
I haven't had many coaches on,because for no other reason than
that I get a lot of pitchesfrom coaches and I think they do
a wonderful job.
And I want to preface this bysaying I met Margaret gosh.
(01:28):
I met Margaret just recentlyand it's so funny because when
you meet somebody and you findthis instant not only
inspiration but just a desire tolearn more, a curiosity about a
person, and that's exactly whatMargaret White has brought into
my life.
So welcome to the show, myfriend.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Thank you so much for having me, Amy.
Such an honor to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I'm just excited to have you here.
And you know what?
It's funny, because we've nowbeen together like four days in
the last seven.
Yeah, it's been four out ofseven, it's been four out of
seven, so that's pretty goododds.
It's just really interestinghow you know how we are both
believers and we're both strongChristian women and that's
really a part of who we are andit's at the core of what we do.
(02:10):
And I think when you meetsomebody and you share these
values and just similarities inso many ways, it's so fun and
that's when the magic happens.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Absolutely, absolutely.
I feel that connection too.
Isn't that funny yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
So, and maybe we'll go to Italy together.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Maybe I'm doing a breakthrough retreat over there
this fall.
You're more than welcome.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Exactly, prego, prego , like I would like to do the
whole, the whole thing.
I think it sounds amazing.
So you know, I said in theintro a little bit about six
words live authentically, loveabundantly and thrive
unimaginably.
Those are powerful words andthey're words that you really
are behind.
So let's walk through those.
(02:54):
What do those six words reallymean to you?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Well, you know, if I can go back just a little bit to
tell a little bit of my yeahYears ago, you know I've always
been an overachiever, Highachieving Me too Self-proclaimed
.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Perfectionist.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Total perfectionist.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Oh yeah, I'm recovering with that.
I say that often.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yes, always recovering, and now helping
other women to recover is whatI'm trying to do.
Yep, I found myself in a spaceof really knowing I was doing
everything according toeverybody else's checklist.
If you were to look at my life,you would think it would be so
successful.
There would be such happinessand such joy because I had
(03:38):
checked everything off the listthe marriage, the amazing career
, the promotions, trips toCaribbean, the Europe, the big
house, all the things that bothends didn't even sum up my life.
It was even more dramaticallyworse than that, as far as just
(04:12):
the amount of time, effort andenergy I spent in work.
Weekends became work ends and Ireally had that epiphany one day
that this is not the life thatGod intended for me.
Right, and something was so offand I felt it in my core and I
had to take a pattern, disruptfor myself from my life to break
(04:36):
away, and I actually took avacation by myself.
Well, there's power in that.
There is absolute power indisconnecting to reconnect with
yourself.
Right, breaking away to breakthrough.
Yeah, and what I realized wasthat, while I was filling my
life, what was missing was thissoul, aligned fulfillment, wow.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I'm sure that's hitting the chord with a lot of
people right now.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I've really worked over thelast years in my own personal
transformation to make sure thatwhat I'm doing and what's on my
calendar, where I'm putting myeffort and energy, is really in
alignment with what I'm divinelymeant for yeah, divinely meant
for.
And I've made a lot ofdecisions over the last years.
(05:26):
I retired early, for example,which, if you would have said in
2019, I would have retiredearly.
I would have thought you werecrazy, because I thought I was
going to be working till atleast 55, et cetera, in the
career that I was in at the time.
But I made a decision that wassoul aligned to care for my
mother In her time of need, yeah, in her time of need.
(05:51):
Dementia, bordering onAlzheimer's, other medical
issues that were pressing notenough leave time that I could
ever take off to do what Ineeded to do for her and I made
that choice to be present forher, and it was one of the best
decisions that I made because itwas soul aligned and I just use
(06:12):
that as one of the manyexamples in my last years.
But when I talk about livingauthentically, what's your truth
?
We all, I believe, have adivine imprint, one that God has
placed within us, and it's upto us to try to listen and to
hear that whisper as to whatthat is.
(06:34):
I worked so much over the lastyears on fine-tuning my
intuition.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
That's another powerful thing.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Absolutely powerful.
Yeah, one of my favorite quotesby Florence Scovel Shinn goes
like this prayer is us phoningGod.
Intuition is God phoning us,phoning us, but so many of us
don't take that time to be still.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Right.
Well, listen what's in listenSilence, right.
You know being silent andlistening and sometimes you hear
things or you listen to thingsyou really don't want to hear.
Yeah, and that probably wasthat moment for you.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
You know, I had Annie Mayfield on a few weeks ago,
who is just a rock star.
She's a young woman and she'sjust on fire for life, for God,
for everything and everythingthat she does.
But she said to me I wasaddicted to achievement.
And that just was like I thinka lot of us are addicted to
(07:41):
achievement and once we get thatgoal, that achievement, then
it's like okay, now I'm ontosomething else, because that's
not good enough, I got to dosomething else.
So in that silence, in thatstillness that you had, you
found this epiphany of who youreally are and what you're meant
for, and I started aligning mylife and my choices with that.
(08:03):
Walk me through.
Aligning.
It's a strong word.
It's a word that's being used alot.
Alignment Walk me through whatthat means for you.
Can you define it?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, alignment really comes down to how you're
choosing True and a lot ofpeople don't realize that that's
a simple definition, verysimple.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Because, you think it's going to be some Webster
Dictionary long drawn out thing.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Right, and you think that all of a sudden, one day
you're like, ah, I'm aligned.
Yeah, and it comes down to thechoices that you're making in
your life.
Right, because if you're notaligning your daily choices with
what you value, right, withwhat is soul aligned to you,
yeah, you know, it's just likewhen I talk to women.
(08:46):
Some women are afraid to say no.
I was just going to say no isas sacred of a choice as yes is.
Yes, you're right, and we needto honor that.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
So you were never saying no before.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I was never saying no Right, it was just sure I'll do
it yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Margaret will do it.
You're like, didn't I say itwas like Mikey in the Life
commercial, remember?
Yes, mikey will do it, he'll doanything.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
That was Amy too.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Amy will do it.
Yeah, and there's still anelement of that.
I see in myself like, oh, allright, I can do it, but I am
learning to step into no as acomplete sentence, right, and
simply saying with no apology,simply saying I'm at capacity.
Thank you for thinking of me.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I appreciate it Not right now Exactly, and sometimes
you need to realize it might besomeone else's place to step in
, there where you have to say no, yeah, and that gives someone
else an opportunity, right, andyou keeping a door closed, it
might allow another person torise.
That's true, that's true, andwe don't often think of it that
way.
So alignment really is aboutchoosing.
It's about choosing.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Wow, I bet that's got a lot of people thinking.
You know, when I met Margaret,we were talking I think it was
last week and Margaret's a bigtennis player and of course now
we're in Florida, so there's alot of time to play tennis in
this beautiful sunshine and yousaid to me you know what?
No, that's my, you've kind ofblocked your time.
I may not be using the correctword, but you were very open and
(10:06):
transparent about the fact.
No, that's when I'm playingtennis, that's when I'm doing
this.
And those were treatingyourself like a guest of honor.
You were doing something foryou.
And I believe we all need toyeah Well you were taking years
off your life, as was I.
When we're saying yes toeverything, yes, you absolutely
do.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
And the thing I'm going to challenge the myth of
that, because I chased it foryears, right as many women do,
but guess what?
I've never, really ever, foundanybody that got there.
And here's why Because we treatbalance.
(10:45):
When you think of balance, it'slike equilibrium.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's like assuming all parts.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Well, not just a balance beam.
Imagine a tightrope.
Oh right, yeah, With that poletrying to balance everything.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
A picture of Phil Dunphy on Modern Family.
He was like two feet off theground.
Yeah, right, okay, I'm there.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
So there's tension, yeah, there's fear, right,
there's trying to move forward,but having to do it so slowly.
And, to me, one of the thingsthat I've realized is that life
is about harmony, and harmony isa dance, and sometimes it's a
super fast, fun dance, superfast, exerting dance.
(11:21):
Sometimes it's slow and sweet,and then it's everything in
between, and if you can begin toview life as seeking harmony
versus balance, you're going tobe so much happier, because
balance is elusive.
You're really never going toget there.
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
That's true, wow, see , this is why I brought Margaret
on the show.
She's amazing.
You're very thoughtful andcontemplative with your words
too, which I really, I reallylike.
Margaret was part of a panel,just an event we were in
together, and you talked a lotabout overachieving.
You know these whole thingsabout overs and I love that you
(12:03):
talk about that and that's yourthing.
This is Margaret's thing.
So nobody take the overs,because this is her thing, and I
think it's so cool, becauseovergiving over, serving over
all of that, when really what weshould be doing is.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
We need to be in overflow, overflow.
Yeah, that's the only over weshould be in.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Right and I picture that as you know that saying
that goes around, that says youcan't pour from an empty cup,
but you know you fill it upbecause you have to have it
actually going over the sidesonto the little saucer so you're
serving others as well.
Is that kind of what that means?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Absolutely Okay.
We never pour into ourselves aswomen.
At times we get stuck in theovers, and what I want to help
women with is I want a movementof getting over the overs.
Yeah, Feeling like we need tobe overachieving over striving,
over functioning, overcompensating, over apologizing,
(12:56):
over promising, over committing.
I could go on.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yeah, how many women are going?
Oh man, she's like she'shitting a nerve right now?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
And how many others could we add to that list that I
didn't?
Even mention so many RightStuck in the overs.
But what we realize?
We were never intended orcreated to work from depletion
Right.
We were created to be pouredinto so that we could then give
of our gifts time and talent toothers.
And working from depletion, youwill never get as much out of
(13:27):
that as you will in working fromoverflow.
Overflow is where it's at.
Overflow I like it and again,overflow actually taps into
alignment.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah, it does.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Because if you're choosing things, you use the
tennis example for me, I lovetime with my friends and I
combine fitness with it, sothat's some sacred time that I
schedule to pour into myself.
Yes, because friendships funand fitness fuels me.
Yeah, so how?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
do you do that for yourself?
A lot of F-words right there.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
That's what we talk about.
I know you love your F-words.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
I love my F-words.
I want you to take me to thatmoment and I know this is
personal, so you know you go asdeep in as you want, but I know
my moment and I've shared itbefore.
But I'd love to hear yourmoment when you thought I just I
can't, I can't do this anymore.
Was it anxiety?
Was it?
Was it just sadness?
(14:24):
Was it just, I mean, depletion?
Yes, you were depleted.
But take me to that time whenyou just said you know, eat,
pray, love that book years ago,where she was on the bathroom
floor and all of that.
Did you have one of thosemoments?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah, mine was actually looking in the bathroom
mirror one morning, reallyWaking up one morning, and you
know I can't even recalleverything that had happened
because life was a blur backthen, to be very honest.
Yeah, of just event after event.
You were dictated by yourschedule, Everything you know,
were you married at that honestof just event after event.
(14:57):
You were dictated by yourschedule, everything.
Were you married at that point?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I was married at that point, and that could be a
whole other podcast topic,exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Because I was in a marriage that I stayed in where
I wasn't valued as I should havebeen, and again
overcompensating,over-functioning,
over-apologizing.
And again overcompensating,overfunctioning, overapologizing
.
Back in those overs and I wokeup and I realized honestly that
(15:27):
my life was just not asfulfilling as it should be.
I was not as inspired as Ishould be.
And while I loved my work don'tget me wrong I worked with some
of the most amazing people sosuccessful, yes, and we did
amazing work together for kids,for the families, for the
community, and I'm so proud ofthat work.
But at the end of the day, Iwas running to the ground and I
(15:48):
was exhausted, trying to beeverything for everyone and not
just in one corner of my life,in all of them, and I actually,
that day, made a decision.
This is how I ended up on thatbreakaway, by myself, I canceled
my husband out of our vacationand I went by myself for two
(16:08):
weeks down to the Caribbean.
Wow, yes, it's your moment.
That was my moment.
And I sat on a beach and Iremember.
Did you feel lonely?
No, I started to feel expansive.
Were you nervous?
No, I started to come back tomyself because the only person I
(16:34):
could hear in my head was meand God, and I had not given
myself that chance oropportunity to be still.
I couldn't remember the lasttime I was on go.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
You had to be with yourself.
I said this recently and Imention it in my book the fact
that a good friend of mine, Ihad three very busy life and I
was involved in everything bookthe fact that a good friend of
mine, I had three very busy lifeand I was involved in
everything.
I was a stay-at-home mom atthis point, traveling here and
there with my kids, and myhusband was gone four nights,
three nights a week.
And a friend of mine said yourHonda Odyssey, your minivan, is
(17:08):
never in the driveway.
You're always doing something,you're always busy.
You're always what are youdoing, like committee meetings
and this I was so overextended,there's another over that I
actually I wrote in the bookthat I wondered if at that point
in my life I was just like ahamster wheel, because if I
(17:29):
actually was silent and stillwith myself would I actually
like myself.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
That's a question a lot of women ask themselves.
They're scared to slow downbecause they're afraid of what?
Not only that, but they're alsoafraid externally.
What other people will thinkabout it?
External validation for peoplethat are the overachievers, the
high performingperforming,ambitious women that plays a
(17:55):
huge part in it as well.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
It's not the comparison trap, it's more of
the self-worth, the validationpart of it.
Yes, wow.
So you're sitting on a beachand maybe having a margarita or
two, I hope, perhaps A lot ofwhatever, and you're just, I
think, in those moments ofstillness, yeah, you really do
(18:18):
uncover and rediscover thingsabout yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, and I'll never forget and I actually use this
quote on my website because Ijust love it by Anis Nin I was
reading a book and it happenedto be at the top of one of the
chapters and I can't evenremember what the book was,
right, but the quote the risk toremain tight in the bud may be
(18:44):
greater than the risk to blossom.
And I was staying tight in mybud, wow, with what I knew.
And I just remember looking atthat and I must have reread it
20 different times.
Yeah, and tears just camestreaming down my face.
Yeah, because at that momentand I'm sitting, I'm sitting
(19:05):
literally in the water,partially in a chair, on this
beach, where there were only twoor three other people, and all
I feel are these waves washingover me, and I just knew at that
moment that I was meant forsomething totally different in
my life Totally different.
Yeah, and it was time for me tostart making choices that
aligned with me Were yousurprised at your husband.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Did he not show up that whole time, like he didn't
come and join you or anything?
I told him not to.
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I made it explicitly clear, you made it clear, I made
it clear I needed that time.
For me, that's big Well, and itwas at that juncture that I
actually decided I needed to askfor a divorce.
Really, yes, yeah, and that waspart of the moving forward.
Yeah, the moving forward.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Amazing, yeah, and I'm sure so many women listening
are like no-transcript, thatwere like you're working too
(20:21):
hard, like take a break.
Did you ever get that?
Were you just so on top of yourgame all the time that nobody
thought you needed anything?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Well, here's what's interesting, so a lot of the
people I was surrounded with,and especially the women, they
were in the same place.
I was in so many ways, and sothere was just an expectation
that you're at this level.
I basically was on call 24-7since I was 27.
(20:51):
Wow, right, wow yeah.
As a school leader and then adistrict leader, you know and
you never know what's going tohappen, right and when.
So that was part of the culture, yeah, and it was just accepted
.
It was just accepted andaccepted, right, correct, and I
(21:14):
watch so many of the women,especially in that field,
because education does have aton of women in it.
The percentage is a lot higherthere in that field.
They knew that you're going tohave to put in that work if you
want that promotion.
Your trajectory is going here.
(21:41):
You want that next job?
Yes, and it's like that in somany work cultures as well, and
that's where I think that we doa disservice to ourselves at
times.
So I either see, because ofthat culture, oftentimes I will
see women playing it too small.
They're really destined forsomething greater but they're
afraid what that greatness mightbring into their life or that
it might disrupt something intheir life, or they might face
fear to go into it Right.
And then there are those thatgo into it wholeheartedly and
(22:04):
then they're just not quite surehow to find that harmony back
in their life.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
You know, raising a family, making sure, as you get
older, your own parents arecared for as you need them to be
.
Their generation, you know?
Or the same age, right?
You know we're the same age,right, you know my parents have
both passed, but, yeah, we'recaring for, you know, aging
parents.
Yep, it's a tough gig, for sure.
I talked to a woman yesterday,india Martin.
She's out of DC, and we weretalking about some of the things
that she's done and she saidyou know, amy, when people would
(22:36):
come into me women in my officeand talk about their jobs, it
wasn't job stress, it was all ofthe other peripheral things
that they were dealing with.
The men that would come in myoffice were like, yeah, here's
the deal, this is what I'mdealing with at work.
There was no outside noise onthat periphery, whereas women,
it was always dealing withmenopause, or I'm dealing with
something with one of my kids,or I'm dealing with my aging
(22:57):
parents.
We carry so much weight.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
We do, yeah, we constantly carry it, because we
don't give ourselves permission.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Yeah, that's a big word.
You like that word permission.
I always wonder about that word, Like do we have to give
ourselves permission?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
If you don't, who will True?
That's true.
If you don't, who will True?
That's true.
And if you don't, what will youdo differently?
And if you don't, what wouldyou do differently If you don't
give yourself permission?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Good reframe there.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, I like that Because the thing is, we have to
be able to give ourselves apass, a permission slip per se
on some things.
Yes, yes, you're right, rightand honestly, do you want to
know what permission is?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah, I do want to know.
It's grace.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, there you go, there you go.
Permission is grace, yeah, andif God can give that to us, we
can give it to ourselves, we cangive it to ourselves.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Yeah, oh, mic drop.
See, margaret White gotta loveher.
So you come back.
We've only got a few minutesleft.
But you come back and goingthrough a divorce, you're going
through all that.
You still have your job.
I assume You're still working.
Did you ever have that moment?
And I say this a lot, you knowwhere?
You're just in bed and it'slike man, I just want to put
(24:13):
those covers back over my headbecause I just can't face it.
I want you to walk me through.
I'm sure you've had a day likeFor somebody listening that
might be right there right nowthinking I don't know, I'm on
this cul-de-sac and it justkeeps going around.
Give me a couple tangibletakeaways for listeners that you
help women in those situations.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Well, so first let me say that, yes, I have had one
of those moments, but that wasreally before I had the epiphany
.
Okay, so you really haven't hadthat many since you're-.
Since I have really honed in onsoul alignment.
Like there's a divine imprintin you and when you find it,
(24:56):
there becomes a fire in you.
That is unstoppable, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I can see that in you .
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, yeah.
And so, when I started makingdecisions that were aligned, my
life started to free and open upright in front of me.
And I continued to ask myselfand here's the beautiful thing
Some of your greatest growthhappens in the smallest of
moments.
Right, I would agree with that.
(25:32):
Where you are on the edge,you're looking way ahead to
where you know you want to be,and you know that there's a
great gap and a great chasm inbetween that.
It feels so daunting, almostlike trying to cross the Grand
Canyon on a pogo stick.
There you go, but the thing is,what's my next step?
And then my next?
All of those small incrementalsteps add up like compound
(25:56):
interest, and we know what canhappen to a bank account over a
couple years with compoundinterest.
Right, right, yeah, so it'seasy to get stuck, and that's
what I help women get up and outof.
Yeah, that feeling of beingstuck, yeah, and it starts by
taking inspired action.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Inspired action and I love that about you and that's
I love that about you and that'swhy I think I wanted to have
you on too, because that's whatit's about.
It's about action, movementabout movement.
Yeah, I use that analogy of.
You know, my book is calledcannonball and you know,
standing on the top of thatdiving board when you were a kid
, and just that fearlessexhilaration of just going and
cannonballing off, making thatsplash and everybody's watching
and being like she's so cool andyou're making sure everybody's
(26:38):
watching you because you feel socool and you want to do it
again and again.
And then we get to a point,wherever that is in our life,
where we get stuck on thatmiddle rung.
You're like, ah, you know what,I'll do it.
I'm sure you get a lot of womenthat'll say, okay, yeah, I'll
start next year when I have moremoney, when I have more time,
next year, when I have moremoney, when I have more time,
when I'm 10 pounds slimmer.
(26:58):
That's what we tell ourselves.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
We are great at self-sabotage, aren't we?
Yes, we are, we are, and one ofthe first things that I have to
work with women on through mypersonal revolution code is
liberation, and that'sliberating them from their
limiting beliefs and theirthoughts, their patterns and the
stories and the narratives thatthey have that are inside of
(27:23):
them, that are created fromexternal sources, oftentimes
before they're even seven, andthen they seek validation for
what they have found.
Year after year after year,they continue to look for those
same things, so they believethem.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Yeah, Right, Right.
Ants we call them ants.
Negative thoughts, a negativethought, and you want to stomp
out those ants.
You know, and how many negativethoughts we have, Right?
Have you done any researcharound men versus women on
negative thoughts?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
So I haven't specifically about negative
thoughts.
However, I have done some workwith the women centered coaching
model which is something that Ispecialize in as well.
I've done some work with ClaireZamet her team through that and
I'm remembering correctly, thestatistic is around 80% of women
(28:15):
all hold limiting beliefs thatthey basically are repeating
daily.
Yeah, and it's astonishing thatit's somewhere like 20% of men.
Yeah, I thought so.
It's the gap, it's unbelievable.
It's there and it'sunbelievable, yes.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I'm going to be linking everything about
Margaret in the episode notes soyou can contact her.
You work worldwide, countrywide, with women, wherever.
I highly encourage you to reachout to Margaret and you will
find the amazing woman, thegifts that she has, her ability
to thoughtfully move you alongyour journey is wonderful.
So I'll have all that in theepisode notes.
(28:55):
A couple of things.
First of all, how are youfearlessly facing friends right
now?
Because I mean, listen,friendships are not easy.
They come and go, they evolve.
60 seconds on how you'refearlessly facing friends.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
So again it comes down to me for that soul
alignment, I would rather have10 to 12 soul aligned friends
where we have deep sisterhoodand connection, than 100 or 200
that are just surface level, yep.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yep, you're not a small talk girl Me either.
I always say that I'm not.
They always say, if Amy were ina room, it's like you got a
couch and you got people allaround her and then you got
Kleenex boxes.
Because we go deep, we dig in,we do.
It's not peripheral talk.
I love that talk.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I love that Fearlessly facing faith, faith,
you know you have to have sometype of a routine for that.
I firmly believe that and thatwas something that was missing
in my life.
I always had deep faith.
I would go to church, you know.
I would do the practices, youknow pray.
I was a firm believer, but itwasn't a daily integration and
that shifted for me.
Yeah, and I believe that youknow you have to change your
(30:03):
spirit to where you areconnecting with source, with God
, on a daily basis.
Right, and that for some couldbe a walk in nature connecting,
seeing all the miracles that arearound every single day.
Yep, yep, at a red light,exactly Stopping to every single
day.
Yep, yep, at a red light,exactly Stopping to say a prayer
.
Yes, Reflecting on the daysaying you know, god, give me my
(30:24):
next inspired.
Step.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Right, so great.
Yeah, it's like a sunset for us.
My husband and I always sit atthe sunset every night.
We always pause.
Sunset's our thing, and whatare the words you describe?
A sunset, heavenly.
You want this moment to lastforever, those moments of
silence, stillness, all of thatRealigning, harmony, balance.
I love it.
You've hit on so many greatthings.
(30:47):
Last question before we leaveis, of course, the one I ask
everybody, and that's Margaret.
If you're sitting on the couchand you look to your left and
there's Margaret at age 30, whatadvice would you give her?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Don't shrink to fit into spaces you're not meant to
be in.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
That's good.
We too often stay in cages orboxes of our own design.
Yes, and I had many otheropportunities during the time
when I was leading that I didnot branch out into, and while I
wouldn't trade my journey foranything, because it has led me
here, if I could speak to myyounger self I would say do not
(31:29):
ever shrink to fit into a spaceyou're not meant to be in.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
That's a mic drop right there.
So thank you for joining us.
Margaret White, You're amazing.
We'll reach out to margaretthank you, and we're going to do
a lot more together.
Love it, so stay tuned.
Thanks everybody for joining.
Thanks so much for listeningtoday.
We know how valuable your timeis and that's why we keep it
short and sweet.
Don't forget to follow us onall the socials, and you can
check out all the links andresources in the show notes.
(31:55):
Until next time, go forth andbe awesome.
Hey Fearless Friends, it's Amy Schmidt and welcome to
another episode of theFearlessly Facing 50 and Beyond
podcast.
We've got a great guest instore for you today.
I just want to remind you,don't forget to check out the
website fearlesslyfacing50.com,f-i-f-t-y and you know what.
You can follow me on all thesocials.
Theamyschmidt andfearlesslyfacing50 underscore
(00:20):
the F-word series.
That's what we're into rightnow is the F Word series.
Yep, you got it All those Fwords we face as we age.
Today's guest is Margaret White.
She is an inspiration in somany ways.
If you are someone that hasbeen dictated by your calendar,
maybe you roll out of bed andthe first thing you do is check
your socials, check your emails,and you have a to-do list that
(00:42):
is overflowing.
This is an episode for you.
We're going to be talking aboutfearlessly finding time,
finding time in our busyschedules, so stay tuned for my
episode with Margaret White.
Hey, fearless friends.
Well, you heard in the intro,this is going to be another
(01:03):
great conversation.
I'm excited about this show andyou know, before I even get
started today, I want to say youknow, I don't have really
coaches on my show.
I have to be honest, I really,in all of the years of doing it,
I haven't had many coaches on,because for no other reason than
that I get a lot of pitchesfrom coaches and I think they do
a wonderful job.
And I want to preface this bysaying I met Margaret gosh.
(01:28):
I met Margaret just recentlyand it's so funny because when
you meet somebody and you findthis instant not only
inspiration but just a desire tolearn more, a curiosity about a
person, and that's exactly whatMargaret White has brought into
my life.
So welcome to the show, myfriend.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Thank you so much for having me, Amy.
Such an honor to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I'm just excited to have you here.
And you know what?
It's funny, because we've nowbeen together like four days in
the last seven.
Yeah, it's been four out ofseven, it's been four out of
seven, so that's pretty goododds.
It's just really interestinghow you know how we are both
believers and we're both strongChristian women and that's
really a part of who we are andit's at the core of what we do.
(02:10):
And I think when you meetsomebody and you share these
values and just similarities inso many ways, it's so fun and
that's when the magic happens.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Absolutely, absolutely.
I feel that connection too.
Isn't that funny yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
So, and maybe we'll go to Italy together.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Maybe I'm doing a breakthrough retreat over there
this fall.
You're more than welcome.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Exactly, prego, prego , like I would like to do the
whole, the whole thing.
I think it sounds amazing.
So you know, I said in theintro a little bit about six
words live authentically, loveabundantly and thrive
unimaginably.
Those are powerful words andthey're words that you really
are behind.
So let's walk through those.
(02:54):
What do those six words reallymean to you?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Well, you know, if I can go back just a little bit to
tell a little bit of my yeahYears ago, you know I've always
been an overachiever, Highachieving Me too Self-proclaimed
.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Perfectionist.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Total perfectionist.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Oh yeah, I'm recovering with that.
I say that often.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yes, always recovering, and now helping
other women to recover is whatI'm trying to do.
Yep, I found myself in a spaceof really knowing I was doing
everything according toeverybody else's checklist.
If you were to look at my life,you would think it would be so
successful.
There would be such happinessand such joy because I had
(03:38):
checked everything off the listthe marriage, the amazing career
, the promotions, trips toCaribbean, the Europe, the big
house, all the things that bothends didn't even sum up my life.
It was even more dramaticallyworse than that, as far as just
(04:12):
the amount of time, effort andenergy I spent in work.
Weekends became work ends and Ireally had that epiphany one day
that this is not the life thatGod intended for me.
Right, and something was so offand I felt it in my core and I
had to take a pattern, disruptfor myself from my life to break
(04:36):
away, and I actually took avacation by myself.
Well, there's power in that.
There is absolute power indisconnecting to reconnect with
yourself.
Right, breaking away to breakthrough.
Yeah, and what I realized wasthat, while I was filling my
life, what was missing was thissoul, aligned fulfillment, wow.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I'm sure that's hitting the chord with a lot of
people right now.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I've really worked over thelast years in my own personal
transformation to make sure thatwhat I'm doing and what's on my
calendar, where I'm putting myeffort and energy, is really in
alignment with what I'm divinelymeant for yeah, divinely meant
for.
And I've made a lot ofdecisions over the last years.
(05:26):
I retired early, for example,which, if you would have said in
2019, I would have retiredearly.
I would have thought you werecrazy, because I thought I was
going to be working till atleast 55, et cetera, in the
career that I was in at the time.
But I made a decision that wassoul aligned to care for my
mother In her time of need, yeah, in her time of need.
(05:51):
Dementia, bordering onAlzheimer's, other medical
issues that were pressing notenough leave time that I could
ever take off to do what Ineeded to do for her and I made
that choice to be present forher, and it was one of the best
decisions that I made because itwas soul aligned and I just use
(06:12):
that as one of the manyexamples in my last years.
But when I talk about livingauthentically, what's your truth
?
We all, I believe, have adivine imprint, one that God has
placed within us, and it's upto us to try to listen and to
hear that whisper as to whatthat is.
(06:34):
I worked so much over the lastyears on fine-tuning my
intuition.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
That's another powerful thing.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Absolutely powerful.
Yeah, one of my favorite quotesby Florence Scovel Shinn goes
like this prayer is us phoningGod.
Intuition is God phoning us,phoning us, but so many of us
don't take that time to be still.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Right.
Well, listen what's in listenSilence, right.
You know being silent andlistening and sometimes you hear
things or you listen to thingsyou really don't want to hear.
Yeah, and that probably wasthat moment for you.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
You know, I had Annie Mayfield on a few weeks ago,
who is just a rock star.
She's a young woman and she'sjust on fire for life, for God,
for everything and everythingthat she does.
But she said to me I wasaddicted to achievement.
And that just was like I thinka lot of us are addicted to
(07:41):
achievement and once we get thatgoal, that achievement, then
it's like okay, now I'm ontosomething else, because that's
not good enough, I got to dosomething else.
So in that silence, in thatstillness that you had, you
found this epiphany of who youreally are and what you're meant
for, and I started aligning mylife and my choices with that.
(08:03):
Walk me through.
Aligning.
It's a strong word.
It's a word that's being used alot.
Alignment Walk me through whatthat means for you.
Can you define it?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, alignment really comes down to how you're
choosing True and a lot ofpeople don't realize that that's
a simple definition, verysimple.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Because, you think it's going to be some Webster
Dictionary long drawn out thing.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Right, and you think that all of a sudden, one day
you're like, ah, I'm aligned.
Yeah, and it comes down to thechoices that you're making in
your life.
Right, because if you're notaligning your daily choices with
what you value, right, withwhat is soul aligned to you,
yeah, you know, it's just likewhen I talk to women.
(08:46):
Some women are afraid to say no.
I was just going to say no isas sacred of a choice as yes is.
Yes, you're right, and we needto honor that.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
So you were never saying no before.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I was never saying no Right, it was just sure I'll do
it yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Margaret will do it.
You're like, didn't I say itwas like Mikey in the Life
commercial, remember?
Yes, mikey will do it, he'll doanything.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
That was Amy too.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Amy will do it.
Yeah, and there's still anelement of that.
I see in myself like, oh, allright, I can do it, but I am
learning to step into no as acomplete sentence, right, and
simply saying with no apology,simply saying I'm at capacity.
Thank you for thinking of me.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I appreciate it Not right now Exactly, and sometimes
you need to realize it might besomeone else's place to step in
, there where you have to say no, yeah, and that gives someone
else an opportunity, right, andyou keeping a door closed, it
might allow another person torise.
That's true, that's true, andwe don't often think of it that
way.
So alignment really is aboutchoosing.
It's about choosing.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Wow, I bet that's got a lot of people thinking.
You know, when I met Margaret,we were talking I think it was
last week and Margaret's a bigtennis player and of course now
we're in Florida, so there's alot of time to play tennis in
this beautiful sunshine and yousaid to me you know what?
No, that's my, you've kind ofblocked your time.
I may not be using the correctword, but you were very open and
(10:06):
transparent about the fact.
No, that's when I'm playingtennis, that's when I'm doing
this.
And those were treatingyourself like a guest of honor.
You were doing something foryou.
And I believe we all need toyeah Well you were taking years
off your life, as was I.
When we're saying yes toeverything, yes, you absolutely
do.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
And the thing I'm going to challenge the myth of
that, because I chased it foryears, right as many women do,
but guess what?
I've never, really ever, foundanybody that got there.
And here's why Because we treatbalance.
(10:45):
When you think of balance, it'slike equilibrium.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's like assuming all parts.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Well, not just a balance beam.
Imagine a tightrope.
Oh right, yeah, With that poletrying to balance everything.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
A picture of Phil Dunphy on Modern Family.
He was like two feet off theground.
Yeah, right, okay, I'm there.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
So there's tension, yeah, there's fear, right,
there's trying to move forward,but having to do it so slowly.
And, to me, one of the thingsthat I've realized is that life
is about harmony, and harmony isa dance, and sometimes it's a
super fast, fun dance, superfast, exerting dance.
(11:21):
Sometimes it's slow and sweet,and then it's everything in
between, and if you can begin toview life as seeking harmony
versus balance, you're going tobe so much happier, because
balance is elusive.
You're really never going toget there.
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
That's true, wow, see , this is why I brought Margaret
on the show.
She's amazing.
You're very thoughtful andcontemplative with your words
too, which I really, I reallylike.
Margaret was part of a panel,just an event we were in
together, and you talked a lotabout overachieving.
You know these whole thingsabout overs and I love that you
(12:03):
talk about that and that's yourthing.
This is Margaret's thing.
So nobody take the overs,because this is her thing, and I
think it's so cool, becauseovergiving over, serving over
all of that, when really what weshould be doing is.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
We need to be in overflow, overflow.
Yeah, that's the only over weshould be in.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Right and I picture that as you know that saying
that goes around, that says youcan't pour from an empty cup,
but you know you fill it upbecause you have to have it
actually going over the sidesonto the little saucer so you're
serving others as well.
Is that kind of what that means?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Absolutely Okay.
We never pour into ourselves aswomen.
At times we get stuck in theovers, and what I want to help
women with is I want a movementof getting over the overs.
Yeah, Feeling like we need tobe overachieving over striving,
over functioning, overcompensating, over apologizing,
(12:56):
over promising, over committing.
I could go on.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yeah, how many women are going?
Oh man, she's like she'shitting a nerve right now?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
And how many others could we add to that list that I
didn't?
Even mention so many RightStuck in the overs.
But what we realize?
We were never intended orcreated to work from depletion
Right.
We were created to be pouredinto so that we could then give
of our gifts time and talent toothers.
And working from depletion, youwill never get as much out of
(13:27):
that as you will in working fromoverflow.
Overflow is where it's at.
Overflow I like it and again,overflow actually taps into
alignment.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah, it does.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Because if you're choosing things, you use the
tennis example for me, I lovetime with my friends and I
combine fitness with it, sothat's some sacred time that I
schedule to pour into myself.
Yes, because friendships funand fitness fuels me.
Yeah, so how?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
do you do that for yourself?
A lot of F-words right there.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
That's what we talk about.
I know you love your F-words.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
I love my F-words.
I want you to take me to thatmoment and I know this is
personal, so you know you go asdeep in as you want, but I know
my moment and I've shared itbefore.
But I'd love to hear yourmoment when you thought I just I
can't, I can't do this anymore.
Was it anxiety?
Was it?
Was it just sadness?
(14:24):
Was it just, I mean, depletion?
Yes, you were depleted.
But take me to that time whenyou just said you know, eat,
pray, love that book years ago,where she was on the bathroom
floor and all of that.
Did you have one of thosemoments?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah, mine was actually looking in the bathroom
mirror one morning, reallyWaking up one morning, and you
know I can't even recalleverything that had happened
because life was a blur backthen, to be very honest.
Yeah, of just event after event.
You were dictated by yourschedule, Everything you know,
were you married at that honestof just event after event.
(14:57):
You were dictated by yourschedule, everything.
Were you married at that point?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I was married at that point, and that could be a
whole other podcast topic,exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Because I was in a marriage that I stayed in where
I wasn't valued as I should havebeen, and again
overcompensating,over-functioning,
over-apologizing.
And again overcompensating,overfunctioning, overapologizing
.
Back in those overs and I wokeup and I realized honestly that
(15:27):
my life was just not asfulfilling as it should be.
I was not as inspired as Ishould be.
And while I loved my work don'tget me wrong I worked with some
of the most amazing people sosuccessful, yes, and we did
amazing work together for kids,for the families, for the
community, and I'm so proud ofthat work.
But at the end of the day, Iwas running to the ground and I
(15:48):
was exhausted, trying to beeverything for everyone and not
just in one corner of my life,in all of them, and I actually,
that day, made a decision.
This is how I ended up on thatbreakaway, by myself, I canceled
my husband out of our vacationand I went by myself for two
(16:08):
weeks down to the Caribbean.
Wow, yes, it's your moment.
That was my moment.
And I sat on a beach and Iremember.
Did you feel lonely?
No, I started to feel expansive.
Were you nervous?
No, I started to come back tomyself because the only person I
(16:34):
could hear in my head was meand God, and I had not given
myself that chance oropportunity to be still.
I couldn't remember the lasttime I was on go.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
You had to be with yourself.
I said this recently and Imention it in my book the fact
that a good friend of mine, Ihad three very busy life and I
was involved in everything bookthe fact that a good friend of
mine, I had three very busy lifeand I was involved in
everything.
I was a stay-at-home mom atthis point, traveling here and
there with my kids, and myhusband was gone four nights,
three nights a week.
And a friend of mine said yourHonda Odyssey, your minivan, is
(17:08):
never in the driveway.
You're always doing something,you're always busy.
You're always what are youdoing, like committee meetings
and this I was so overextended,there's another over that I
actually I wrote in the bookthat I wondered if at that point
in my life I was just like ahamster wheel, because if I
(17:29):
actually was silent and stillwith myself would I actually
like myself.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
That's a question a lot of women ask themselves.
They're scared to slow downbecause they're afraid of what?
Not only that, but they're alsoafraid externally.
What other people will thinkabout it?
External validation for peoplethat are the overachievers, the
high performingperforming,ambitious women that plays a
(17:55):
huge part in it as well.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
It's not the comparison trap, it's more of
the self-worth, the validationpart of it.
Yes, wow.
So you're sitting on a beachand maybe having a margarita or
two, I hope, perhaps A lot ofwhatever, and you're just, I
think, in those moments ofstillness, yeah, you really do
(18:18):
uncover and rediscover thingsabout yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, and I'll never forget and I actually use this
quote on my website because Ijust love it by Anis Nin I was
reading a book and it happenedto be at the top of one of the
chapters and I can't evenremember what the book was,
right, but the quote the risk toremain tight in the bud may be
(18:44):
greater than the risk to blossom.
And I was staying tight in mybud, wow, with what I knew.
And I just remember looking atthat and I must have reread it
20 different times.
Yeah, and tears just camestreaming down my face.
Yeah, because at that momentand I'm sitting, I'm sitting
(19:05):
literally in the water,partially in a chair, on this
beach, where there were only twoor three other people, and all
I feel are these waves washingover me, and I just knew at that
moment that I was meant forsomething totally different in
my life Totally different.
Yeah, and it was time for me tostart making choices that
aligned with me Were yousurprised at your husband.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Did he not show up that whole time, like he didn't
come and join you or anything?
I told him not to.
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I made it explicitly clear, you made it clear, I made
it clear I needed that time.
For me, that's big Well, and itwas at that juncture that I
actually decided I needed to askfor a divorce.
Really, yes, yeah, and that waspart of the moving forward.
Yeah, the moving forward.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Amazing, yeah, and I'm sure so many women listening
are like no-transcript, thatwere like you're working too
(20:21):
hard, like take a break.
Did you ever get that?
Were you just so on top of yourgame all the time that nobody
thought you needed anything?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Well, here's what's interesting, so a lot of the
people I was surrounded with,and especially the women, they
were in the same place.
I was in so many ways, and sothere was just an expectation
that you're at this level.
I basically was on call 24-7since I was 27.
(20:51):
Wow, right, wow yeah.
As a school leader and then adistrict leader, you know and
you never know what's going tohappen, right and when.
So that was part of the culture, yeah, and it was just accepted
.
It was just accepted andaccepted, right, correct, and I
(21:14):
watch so many of the women,especially in that field,
because education does have aton of women in it.
The percentage is a lot higherthere in that field.
They knew that you're going tohave to put in that work if you
want that promotion.
Your trajectory is going here.
(21:41):
You want that next job?
Yes, and it's like that in somany work cultures as well, and
that's where I think that we doa disservice to ourselves at
times.
So I either see, because ofthat culture, oftentimes I will
see women playing it too small.
They're really destined forsomething greater but they're
afraid what that greatness mightbring into their life or that
it might disrupt something intheir life, or they might face
fear to go into it Right.
And then there are those thatgo into it wholeheartedly and
(22:04):
then they're just not quite surehow to find that harmony back
in their life.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
You know, raising a family, making sure, as you get
older, your own parents arecared for as you need them to be
.
Their generation, you know?
Or the same age, right?
You know we're the same age,right, you know my parents have
both passed, but, yeah, we'recaring for, you know, aging
parents.
Yep, it's a tough gig, for sure.
I talked to a woman yesterday,india Martin.
She's out of DC, and we weretalking about some of the things
that she's done and she saidyou know, amy, when people would
(22:36):
come into me women in my officeand talk about their jobs, it
wasn't job stress, it was all ofthe other peripheral things
that they were dealing with.
The men that would come in myoffice were like, yeah, here's
the deal, this is what I'mdealing with at work.
There was no outside noise onthat periphery, whereas women,
it was always dealing withmenopause, or I'm dealing with
something with one of my kids,or I'm dealing with my aging
(22:57):
parents.
We carry so much weight.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
We do, yeah, we constantly carry it, because we
don't give ourselves permission.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Yeah, that's a big word.
You like that word permission.
I always wonder about that word, Like do we have to give
ourselves permission?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
If you don't, who will True?
That's true.
If you don't, who will True?
That's true.
And if you don't, what will youdo differently?
And if you don't, what wouldyou do differently If you don't
give yourself permission?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Good reframe there.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, I like that Because the thing is, we have to
be able to give ourselves apass, a permission slip per se
on some things.
Yes, yes, you're right, rightand honestly, do you want to
know what permission is?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah, I do want to know.
It's grace.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, there you go, there you go.
Permission is grace, yeah, andif God can give that to us, we
can give it to ourselves, we cangive it to ourselves.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Yeah, oh, mic drop.
See, margaret White gotta loveher.
So you come back.
We've only got a few minutesleft.
But you come back and goingthrough a divorce, you're going
through all that.
You still have your job.
I assume You're still working.
Did you ever have that moment?
And I say this a lot, you knowwhere?
You're just in bed and it'slike man, I just want to put
(24:13):
those covers back over my headbecause I just can't face it.
I want you to walk me through.
I'm sure you've had a day likeFor somebody listening that
might be right there right nowthinking I don't know, I'm on
this cul-de-sac and it justkeeps going around.
Give me a couple tangibletakeaways for listeners that you
help women in those situations.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Well, so first let me say that, yes, I have had one
of those moments, but that wasreally before I had the epiphany
.
Okay, so you really haven't hadthat many since you're-.
Since I have really honed in onsoul alignment.
Like there's a divine imprintin you and when you find it,
(24:56):
there becomes a fire in you.
That is unstoppable, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I can see that in you .
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, yeah.
And so, when I started makingdecisions that were aligned, my
life started to free and open upright in front of me.
And I continued to ask myselfand here's the beautiful thing
Some of your greatest growthhappens in the smallest of
moments.
Right, I would agree with that.
(25:32):
Where you are on the edge,you're looking way ahead to
where you know you want to be,and you know that there's a
great gap and a great chasm inbetween that.
It feels so daunting, almostlike trying to cross the Grand
Canyon on a pogo stick.
There you go, but the thing is,what's my next step?
And then my next?
All of those small incrementalsteps add up like compound
(25:56):
interest, and we know what canhappen to a bank account over a
couple years with compoundinterest.
Right, right, yeah, so it'seasy to get stuck, and that's
what I help women get up and outof.
Yeah, that feeling of beingstuck, yeah, and it starts by
taking inspired action.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Inspired action and I love that about you and that's
I love that about you and that'swhy I think I wanted to have
you on too, because that's whatit's about.
It's about action, movementabout movement.
Yeah, I use that analogy of.
You know, my book is calledcannonball and you know,
standing on the top of thatdiving board when you were a kid
, and just that fearlessexhilaration of just going and
cannonballing off, making thatsplash and everybody's watching
and being like she's so cool andyou're making sure everybody's
(26:38):
watching you because you feel socool and you want to do it
again and again.
And then we get to a point,wherever that is in our life,
where we get stuck on thatmiddle rung.
You're like, ah, you know what,I'll do it.
I'm sure you get a lot of womenthat'll say, okay, yeah, I'll
start next year when I have moremoney, when I have more time,
next year, when I have moremoney, when I have more time,
when I'm 10 pounds slimmer.
(26:58):
That's what we tell ourselves.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
We are great at self-sabotage, aren't we?
Yes, we are, we are, and one ofthe first things that I have to
work with women on through mypersonal revolution code is
liberation, and that'sliberating them from their
limiting beliefs and theirthoughts, their patterns and the
stories and the narratives thatthey have that are inside of
(27:23):
them, that are created fromexternal sources, oftentimes
before they're even seven, andthen they seek validation for
what they have found.
Year after year after year,they continue to look for those
same things, so they believethem.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Yeah, Right, Right.
Ants we call them ants.
Negative thoughts, a negativethought, and you want to stomp
out those ants.
You know, and how many negativethoughts we have, Right?
Have you done any researcharound men versus women on
negative thoughts?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
So I haven't specifically about negative
thoughts.
However, I have done some workwith the women centered coaching
model which is something that Ispecialize in as well.
I've done some work with ClaireZamet her team through that and
I'm remembering correctly, thestatistic is around 80% of women
(28:15):
all hold limiting beliefs thatthey basically are repeating
daily.
Yeah, and it's astonishing thatit's somewhere like 20% of men.
Yeah, I thought so.
It's the gap, it's unbelievable.
It's there and it'sunbelievable, yes.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I'm going to be linking everything about
Margaret in the episode notes soyou can contact her.
You work worldwide, countrywide, with women, wherever.
I highly encourage you to reachout to Margaret and you will
find the amazing woman, thegifts that she has, her ability
to thoughtfully move you alongyour journey is wonderful.
So I'll have all that in theepisode notes.
(28:55):
A couple of things.
First of all, how are youfearlessly facing friends right
now?
Because I mean, listen,friendships are not easy.
They come and go, they evolve.
60 seconds on how you'refearlessly facing friends.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
So again it comes down to me for that soul
alignment, I would rather have10 to 12 soul aligned friends
where we have deep sisterhoodand connection, than 100 or 200
that are just surface level, yep.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yep, you're not a small talk girl Me either.
I always say that I'm not.
They always say, if Amy were ina room, it's like you got a
couch and you got people allaround her and then you got
Kleenex boxes.
Because we go deep, we dig in,we do.
It's not peripheral talk.
I love that talk.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I love that Fearlessly facing faith, faith,
you know you have to have sometype of a routine for that.
I firmly believe that and thatwas something that was missing
in my life.
I always had deep faith.
I would go to church, you know.
I would do the practices, youknow pray.
I was a firm believer, but itwasn't a daily integration and
that shifted for me.
Yeah, and I believe that youknow you have to change your
(30:03):
spirit to where you areconnecting with source, with God
, on a daily basis.
Right, and that for some couldbe a walk in nature connecting,
seeing all the miracles that arearound every single day.
Yep, yep, at a red light,exactly Stopping to every single
day.
Yep, yep, at a red light,exactly Stopping to say a prayer
.
Yes, Reflecting on the daysaying you know, god, give me my
(30:24):
next inspired.
Step.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Right, so great.
Yeah, it's like a sunset for us.
My husband and I always sit atthe sunset every night.
We always pause.
Sunset's our thing, and whatare the words you describe?
A sunset, heavenly.
You want this moment to lastforever, those moments of
silence, stillness, all of thatRealigning, harmony, balance.
I love it.
You've hit on so many greatthings.
(30:47):
Last question before we leaveis, of course, the one I ask
everybody, and that's Margaret.
If you're sitting on the couchand you look to your left and
there's Margaret at age 30, whatadvice would you give her?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Don't shrink to fit into spaces you're not meant to
be in.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
That's good.
We too often stay in cages orboxes of our own design.
Yes, and I had many otheropportunities during the time
when I was leading that I didnot branch out into, and while I
wouldn't trade my journey foranything, because it has led me
here, if I could speak to myyounger self I would say do not
(31:29):
ever shrink to fit into a spaceyou're not meant to be in.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
That's a mic drop right there.
So thank you for joining us.
Margaret White, You're amazing.
We'll reach out to margaretthank you, and we're going to do
a lot more together.
Love it, so stay tuned.
Thanks everybody for joining.
Thanks so much for listeningtoday.
We know how valuable your timeis and that's why we keep it
short and sweet.
Don't forget to follow us onall the socials, and you can
check out all the links andresources in the show notes.
(31:55):
Until next time, go forth andbe awesome.
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