April 13, 2025 • 24 mins
When I got the pitch for this interview I nearly fell off my chair! I was so excited at the thought of interviewing Gabby Bernstein. Gabby is kind, honest and direct. And I'm here for it.
The reason this interview came about is because Gabby is about to be touring Australia with her Manifesting Masterclass. Here are all the details:
Syds: https://www.statetheatre.com.au/show-calendar/gabby-bernstein/
Brissy: https://events.humanitix.com/gabby-bernstein-manifesting-masterclass
I was also lucky enough to read her newest of the 10 books she's written called SELF HELP which is available now, you can get your copy here: https://gabbybernstein.com/selfhelp/
It's also the 10 year anniversary for her #1 New York Times Bestseller The Universe Has Your Back
In this chat we talk about the 4 step Check-in process, IFS therapy, the importance of fun, and we unpack some of the tools in Gabby's manifesting toolkit, which in her Manifesting Masterclass will cover in depth, so grab yourself a ticket and take that as Gabby would say stop playing small, times time to play big! Let's go!
Mega love,
Lola
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Get a I'm Lala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,
and professional oversharer.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
This podcast is all about.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Celebrating failure because I believe it's a chance for us
to learn, grow and face our blind spots. Each week,
I'll interview a different guest about their highs as.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Well as their lows, all in a bid to inspire
us to fearlessly fail. Holy Mack.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Today on the Potteroony, we have Gabby Bernstein, internationally renowned
spiritual leader, number one New York Times best selling author.
She's just brought out her tenth book, Self Help, This
is Your Chance to Change Your Life, and she's about.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
To tour Australia. She's touring Brizzi, SIDS and Malbs all
in May.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
All the details and links to get the tickets for
her shows are in the show notes, so I hope
you can get to the shows if you cannot. In
this chat, we talk about her four step check in method.
We unpack a little bit of her manifesting toolkit, which
is what those manifestation masterclasses that are part of her
(01:21):
live tour are all about. So you really do get
a sneaky little taste of it all in this chat
I'm gonna be really honestly, I was quite nervous about
this chat and I'd not met Gabby before, so we
went into this chat like cold, you know, like it
was nighttime in America where she was, and it was
I think eight am in the morning in Byron Bay
(01:42):
where I recorded from, and I just felt like it
was a pinch yourself moment. I couldn't believe that it
was really happening. She is honest, kind, direct, open, So
I hope you love this chat as much as I
loved it.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I really felt like there were so many takeaways.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
So if you're driving right now and listening to it,
or you're on your morning hike or walk or run,
totally listen to it, but give it a second. Listen
with a notepad because the way she breaks down this
check in method and the way she talks about the
importance of like key factors with manifesting, you're gonna want
(02:22):
to jot down notes.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It's just that kind of a pod. So I hope
you love it.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Gabby, thank you so much for making the time. I
know your schedule was absolutely bonkers and you still carved
out the time for this chat. You are flipping wonderful
my friend, and to the listeners, to the Aussie listeners,
get out and see her shows, her Manifesting Masterclass and
I've been on a website.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
This bird doesn't stop too us all over the place.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So no matter where you're listening to this in the world,
I'm sure you'll be able to see Gabby or at
least get your hands on her newest book, Self Help.
She's also re releasing The Universe Has Your Back because
it's its tenth anniversary this year, which I got to
have a read of in prep for this chat, so
we unpack.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
A little with that as well.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Right, I'm gonna hand it over to the interview with
the incredible Gabby Bernstein. I hope you love it all right,
big love poru mate, Gabby Bernstein. When this offered an
interview you came through, I like got so excited I
(03:29):
called my pod manager. You like literally made my day.
So first of all, thank you for being here, mate.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Babes, so happy to be with you. Thank you for
having me.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
And can I say you come into Australia, how exciting.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
You know, it's kind of a regular gig for me.
I my best friend lives in Sydney. So it's a
selfe that I come. But I also find that the
AZZI audience is just such a fun crowd to give
talks for, because you guys are one so great for
when people come all the way to you, And I
think it's a really spiritual crowd, right, It's a really
(04:06):
it's a crowd that's really into personal development and spirituality.
And so I'm doing this manifesting masterclass in May.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
This sounds unreal in May, so to the listener, all
the details are in the show notes. Brizzy melbs, sids,
lock in and get their busy beads.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I'm coming. That was the best thing I've ever heard.
It's so cute.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So you, my friend, are so celebrated all over the world.
You are a number one New York Times bestselling author,
and you've just written your tenth book, which I inhaled.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Did you go the last Yeah? The last forty eight hours?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Mate, I inhaled this, and I have so many questions
for you.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Can I ask you some questions about self?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Absolutely? Yes, And I'm so excited that you inhaled it.
That's so good.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Took notes, I've got highlighted notes here like the millennial
that I am.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I have to handwrite.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So first things first, can you teach me what if isses?
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yes? So my book is my tenth book, and it's
based on a therapy that's called Internal Family Systems therapy.
I've written prior to this book nine other mainly spiritual
self help books, and this one is very spiritual as well,
but it's the first that's sort of based on a
therapy that is something I'm trained in that I have
(05:27):
democratized and demystified in this book, making the therapy a
self help practice with the blessing of the founder, Dick Schwartz.
And again, I think my training in it allowed me
to feel the confidence in making it a little bit
of a truncated version of the therapy. So Internal Family
(05:48):
Systems is really about how we have a family of
parts of ourselves inside. It's not about our external family.
It's about the young aspects of ourself, the protection mechanisms
that run the show inside of our in our system,
in our internal system. And so most of us live
often from trigger to trigger to trigger to trigger, and
(06:08):
we get triggered by something, maybe a core wound from
our past, and then we immediately start protecting against it.
So we start protecting ourselves from these wounds, and so
we live often in these modes where we can look
at our situations and say, oh my god, I did
that again, or why am I so controlling? Or why
am I such a people pleaser? Why do I struggle
(06:30):
so much in relationships? Or why do I always play small?
And these patterns that we're often questioning or maybe judging
ourselves for are actually really young parts of who we are,
real hardcore protection mechanisms that we've grown to rely on
to feel safe.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I love the way you to talk about protection, like
this protected part we've we've got the manager, we've got
the firefighters, and the way you share like the controlling
part of yourself being it to protector. I feel like
we can all relate to that, right perfectionism.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yes, yes, the controller is definitely a big time protector.
The controller is a big time protector. So we've got controllers,
we've got, we've got we've got. You know, people, if
you've ever said sort of like I've got a lot
of anxiety, that's a protection mechanism. Sometimes anxiety is masking
something deeper, and so what happens in the book, is
(07:27):
it really gives you this four step practice of becoming
connected and curious and compassionate towards these younger parts of yourself. Uh,
so that you don't judge yourself, so that you stop
overriding yourself, so that you can befriend these aspects of
yourself rather than judge them. It's, it's, it's it's a
it's a huge practice.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It's life changing, and it's it's kind of and I
love the way you say the start of the book,
it's it's kind of terrifying to like befriend these parts
of yourself. But also as long as I love the
way you describe these these eight c's that if we're
in that space, it's like anything's possible.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
So can you teach me the four step chick In method.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yes. And the eight seeds that you're referring to are
what in ifs are called self energy, and self is
like the God within us, the spirit within us, our
Buddha nature, you know what. Might call it many different things,
but that self energy is calm and compassionate, courageous and clear,
creative and confident and has clarity that it's the resourced
(08:34):
part of who we are and what we check in
when when we get triggered and we do these four
steps that I'm going to share with you, we can
access more of that resourced part of who we are
inside rather than getting overwhelmed and blended with that that
that that reactive part. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, it's so digestible. Can you can you share.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
The four steps? So let's just say you have a
people pleaser, you have a controlling part, or you have anxiety,
or you're in this situation where you might feel like
you're very reactive in moments, or you think you have
negative thoughts about yourself. These are protection mechanisms, and so
choosing something to work with when part of these aspects
(09:16):
of yourself to work with, you would follow the four steps.
And the first step is to check in with that
part of yourself. So instead of checking out, like, oh,
I don't want to feel this, so I'm going to
go pick up a drink, or I'm going to go work,
or I'm going to go numb out in some way,
you would choose to check inside, and that's just focusing
your attention inside. The second step is to become curious
(09:37):
about that aspect that part of yourself and so you
might ask some questions like how long have you been around?
What do I know about you? Is there any images
or thoughts or sensations, where in your body does it live?
Just getting some curiosity, teasing it out a little bit.
Then the third step is compassionate connection, and that's when
you would compassionately ask what do you need? And this
(10:00):
is huge for these parts of ourselves are so young
inside and we never ask you that you need. We're
off and just like get over it, move on. And
then the fourth step is to check for the self inside.
So check for the qualities of self. So are you
more calm? Do you feel more connected? Do you have
more clarity? Do you feel do you feel a confidence
(10:21):
coming forward? Do you feel some kind of connection? And
I love lovely. I love that creativity is on that
list too. It is a creative like I know if
I'm like holding on too tired or resisting something, I
can't ever sit in that creativity.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
And so when I saw that on.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Your list of eight seas, I was like, yes, this
makes such sense. Now when you come to Australia, this
is a manifesting masterclass. So I also inhaled the universe
as your back because you're flipping amazing, my friend. And
my favorite chapter was chapter four, which is your vibes
speak louder than your words. And I imagine if we
(10:59):
want to manifest, we've got to be clear about our
energy and our presence. Can you share a bit about
how important our vibes are when it comes to manifesting.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
It's everything. So the thoughts that we think create beliefs
that we have in our core experience, and those beliefs
create an energy, and that energy sends out a message
and a signal to the universe that says more of this, please.
And so if the energy is low vibe, we're going
to create and attract a lot more low vibe experiences.
Whereas if the energy is free and energized and creative
(11:32):
and confident and self energy, right, we're going to attract
more of that. And so it is very valuable and
important to recognize the power of our thoughts. Most importantly
powered that our thoughts have on our energy, because the
energetic vibration is what is being sent out, being offered up,
(11:52):
being picked up, repurposed, and then presented back to us totally.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And I also love the way to when we're having fun,
like more good stuff comes in and it's like really
you know, like they say also like success love speed,
and so I think when you're in this like joyful
flow state, which you write a lot about, it feels
like it just it's like a magnet to bring more
good stuff in, to bring more of the stuff that
(12:18):
you love, to bring more of the stuff that's aligned
to who you are, and like your true essence is
that advice?
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yes, yes, yes, true?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Am I saying that right? I feel like about it.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
You know, you know, people will be like, oh, I'm
struggling to date, and I'll be like, well, just go
have more fun. Like that's my answer to them, Like, God,
have more fun in your life. You're having more fun
in your life and you're feeling better, and then you
become more attractive energetically, and then you're much more likely
to meet that person on the street or have that
connection at a party, or maybe even have more success
on the apps. So yeah, fun is the ultimate tractor.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
And you mentioned earlier like we all have Oh, well,
I know for me, we all have like a little
bit of anxiety every now and then, and I love
this is back to self help book, but we all
have anxious parts, and it's having that courage to check
in with the anxious part and figure out what that
part of us is calling for or needs or I
(13:12):
love that you're kind of empowering us to not be
afraid of that part of ourselves. How can we let
go of that fear and just be like, no, it's
safe to chick in.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I think when you read the book or listen to
the book, you start to have a new Even if
you don't practice the book, it'll give you a radical
shift inside because it'll help you recognize these aspects of
yourself as just young, little wounded children. Right. And so
you know, I have a six year old and he's
going through some learning stuff and some neurodivergent stuff, and
(13:43):
for six years we've sort of been like, what the hell, Like,
why are you acting like that? Why aren't you sitting
up at the restaurant? Why are your feet on the table.
It's like the kid has ADHD, you know, And now
understanding that and with that awareness and the awareness of
how much he's struggling, oh my god, I have so
much compassion. That clarity creates compassion, That compassion creates connection,
(14:07):
and that connection creates the courage to support him and
the calmness that I need as a mom, And so
that self energy starts to emerge. And so what happens
for us when we're in this place where we see
our young parts of ourselves just like I can see
my son right now, We see these young parts inside
of us as just like little children that need a
(14:27):
lot of freaking help, right they need some support. We
start to witness ourselves in those ways. God, it's such
a change. It's such a shift. Just that alone is
a huge radical shift.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, I love something like I love making notes and
highlighting them on one of them that I made reading
your incredible work was trust yourself and stay curious.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
And I think.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
This is the space where everything that you do kind
of comes from. And it's like if anytime I'm anxious,
often sit in curiosity because it gets something like it's
very grounding and it's almost like it opens up.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Whatever was closed. Yes, totally do you like?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
And I feel like that's I always ask people like,
what would be a mantra or something that you could
share with the listener as like a quick like.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Take away for today?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
And for me the notes, it just feels like, trusting
yourself and staying curious is not a cure ale, but
something that we can always come back to when we're
holding on too tied, or we're being that perfectionist or
we're being that controller.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
You know, would you agree?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
I love that you just pulled that out. Trust yourself
and stay curious. Oh my god, that feels so good.
That was your writing, my friend. Trust yourself and stay curious. Okay,
I'm gonna use that. Thank you. I'm going to reuse
that welcome you. Well. I remember you're like, oh remember
chapter four of the University. I have no idea what
you're talking about right now. I'm like, what's that chapter?
(15:54):
Once in that chapter, I gotta get connected because the
tenth anniversary book is coming out, so I got to
get got to get on that trust yourself and stay curious.
Love it. What a message to offer up today. That
is good.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Another thing, and I just again I'm speaking from a
personal experience, but as someone that is a podcast or
an actor, sometimes rejection is something that can be all
encompassing and you're like, oh, how do I get out
of this rut? Or how do I not have the
self doubt every time I go into an audition or
take a meeting. Is it that leaning into the fun
(16:29):
or leaning into the fear of rejection?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Well, I think that I really oftentimes like to see
rejection as divine production and recognize this is really a
testament to my faith. My faith in the universe is everything,
and I believe that when things don't work out, it's
because something better is on the way or because it
wasn't meant to be. I often believe also that when
(16:53):
the shit hits the fan, that's often direction as well.
So you know that sometimes when things fall apart because
some breakthrough is meant to occur. So I it's also
a choice to see the world through that lens. That
has been my choice, and it's been very helpful because
it's hopeful and what we are in that inner dialogue
(17:18):
of okay, this is you know, thank you, Universe, show
me what's next. A much nicer way to live totally.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
And it comes back to my next point, which is
like making spiritually aligned actions. And I think sometimes rejection
can be like a little like hang on, was that aligned?
Let's let's like reage eagle. Let's take some stock now
and then get really.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Clear.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Now, can you teach us what taking spiritually aligned actions is.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Well, whenever we take an action from a place that's
anxious or like thirsty or controlling, it's never it's always
going to fail, it's never gonna it's never going to thrive.
It's the actions that we take from that place of
faith and trust and joy and love and service that
(18:13):
actually have so much magnitude behind them. So, for example,
you know, if I'm having like a down day and
I'm supposed to record my podcast and you know, let's
just say I have the choice not to or to
do it, I might choose not to because I want
to do it obviously from a spiritually aligned place. If
(18:36):
I have to do something that I don't want to
do in that moment but I am not in the
right energy, I'll get into that alignment. I'll find that
joy in the situation. I'll find that service in the situation.
And so so whatever actions we take from service, love
and joy are going to be back to a lot
of positive momentum and quite the opposite if we're taking
actions from that place that's really controlling or manipulative, or
(18:59):
you know, that's kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I've heard you share.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
You spoke on stage in London and something wasn't Like
you were late to the green room and instead of
taking time to meditate, you kind of just mingled and
then got onto on stage spoke, but it didn't feel
you were like, oh, I'm never going to and arm
love this sentence you wrote.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I'm so virgo by the way, I over research.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Everyone, but you wrote that you made a commitment to
yourself that you'll never go on stage without being connected
to your presence again, I was like, WHOA. What a
powerful thing for anyone to take away, whether they're a speaker,
a podcast, you know, taking a meeting at work, like
taking a beat, taking a moment to be like connected
(19:48):
to your own presence before anything, whether stakes feel really
really high? Has that been a game changer for you
when you made.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
That call mejuor major? No, I don't show up unless
my all of me is showing up. And even in
moments if I say there is an instance where I
was running later, i'd jump on a stage or something
that you know somemes you can't control. I'll line on
the stage. I'll be like, okay, you know, I'm like
(20:15):
to tell the truth. They're like, I just busted in
here and this thing just happened and I didn't realize.
You know, I'll be let's do a meditation together. I'll
do something to just just just ground myself because because
I don't want to carry on like that, I've stopped myself.
Last year, I gave a talk and about fifty ten
minutes into the talk, I said, I'm going to stop
because I'm not in self energy. And I had this
(20:40):
outline and I took the outline and I ripped it
up and I threw it into the audience. I was like,
let's start over. I want to talk to you about
what I'm not in self energy. Let's get into self energy.
And I really taught the whole thing and it was
such an epic talk. That's really good.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
That's that also would take a whole huge sense of
self trust and knowing.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah yeah, I mean that's like twenty years of twenty
five years of topic speak.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
How cool, though, like what a great, what a great?
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Yeah. I don't recommend that to new seers. Okay, I trust.
I trust myself. I trust on stage. I trust myself
so much. I think it's when I trust myself the most. Oh, mate,
I cannot wait to see you on stage. So when
you come to Australia in May, are you going to
be in Brenny Melby or City?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
You're gonna kill me.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
I actually live in Los Angeles, so I'm on a
like I'm seeing fam on holiday.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Now I'll be back in LA. So I just have
to come see you in America.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Mate, I'm in LA all the time.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
So perfect. Done deal.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
So for this manifesting masterclass, I would love for the
listener today to take away just a couple of things
that are in your manifesting toolkit?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Can you share a couple of sure?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
For sure. We'll add the masterpilts. I'm going to teach
people first the ways that we block our manifesting paths
and the beliefs and the stories that block us. And
we'll do a lot of the self help stuff as well,
because I'll help you actually start to have a radical
shift around those core beliefs and start to heal. And
so I think that those four steps that I taught
to you today would be a really great place for
somebody to start manifesting, because we manifest what we believe,
(22:19):
and the core beliefs need healing, and that whole all
of self help is about how we access that inner
healing so that we can change our inner belief systems
on a very core level. And in that shift, we
start to become a different point of attraction, start to
feel differently, and that different feeling energy starts to attract
(22:40):
a different vibration into our life. So I think that
the four steps of check in choose to check in
curiosity towards the part of you, compassionate connection, asking what
do you need, and then checking for those qualities of self.
I think that's the place to start. It is the
real manifesting flex and can I love it?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I've written this, it's all written down in a highlight
of my friend, but I have to ask, as someone
that is highly impatient, is that faith? Is that trust?
Is that a sense of self belief? How do we
find that?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Patients?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
It's also just taking ownership of the thoughts you think. Right.
So there's another method that I think is a super
attractor of my book called to Choose Again method, and
it's witnessing the negative thoughts that you're repeating all the
time and forgiving yourself. The second step is to forgive
yourself for having that thought. The third step is to
reach for the next best feeling thought. So you would
(23:38):
maybe be like, I'm broke and I've got no money,
and so you forgive yourself. Okay, that's a belief I
thought that. I keep thinking. It's a believe I'm holding.
I'm going to reach for the next best feeling thought.
And the next best feeling thought could be like, well,
I've got a good resume and I've got some connections
on LinkedIn, and then I can get on LinkedIn and
I could spend like hours on LinkedIn. I could just
do my full time job just getting on LinkedIn and
(23:58):
making connections, and I can actually have a lot of
fun doing that. And you see how I'm reaching for
these next studs and next starts. And as you reach,
you start to feel a better vabraetion and your vibes
speak more than your.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Words, mate, All about the vibes.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
All about the vibes, About the vibe you are flipping
wonderful by the way, Gabby, Like, I just wish I
could have you in my pocket and anytime I needed
a good luck.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
To you, whip you out of you.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly failing as always.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Thank you to our.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Guests and let's continue the conversation on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I'm at Yamo Lullaberry. This potty my word for podcast
is available on all streaming platforms.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate and comment
and of course spread the love.
Get a I'm Lala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,
and professional oversharer.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
This podcast is all about.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Celebrating failure because I believe it's a chance for us
to learn, grow and face our blind spots. Each week,
I'll interview a different guest about their highs as.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Well as their lows, all in a bid to inspire
us to fearlessly fail. Holy Mack.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Today on the Potteroony, we have Gabby Bernstein, internationally renowned
spiritual leader, number one New York Times best selling author.
She's just brought out her tenth book, Self Help, This
is Your Chance to Change Your Life, and she's about.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
To tour Australia. She's touring Brizzi, SIDS and Malbs all
in May.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
All the details and links to get the tickets for
her shows are in the show notes, so I hope
you can get to the shows if you cannot. In
this chat, we talk about her four step check in method.
We unpack a little bit of her manifesting toolkit, which
is what those manifestation masterclasses that are part of her
(01:21):
live tour are all about. So you really do get
a sneaky little taste of it all in this chat
I'm gonna be really honestly, I was quite nervous about
this chat and I'd not met Gabby before, so we
went into this chat like cold, you know, like it
was nighttime in America where she was, and it was
I think eight am in the morning in Byron Bay
(01:42):
where I recorded from, and I just felt like it
was a pinch yourself moment. I couldn't believe that it
was really happening. She is honest, kind, direct, open, So
I hope you love this chat as much as I
loved it.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I really felt like there were so many takeaways.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
So if you're driving right now and listening to it,
or you're on your morning hike or walk or run,
totally listen to it, but give it a second. Listen
with a notepad because the way she breaks down this
check in method and the way she talks about the
importance of like key factors with manifesting, you're gonna want
(02:22):
to jot down notes.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
It's just that kind of a pod. So I hope
you love it.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Gabby, thank you so much for making the time. I
know your schedule was absolutely bonkers and you still carved
out the time for this chat. You are flipping wonderful
my friend, and to the listeners, to the Aussie listeners,
get out and see her shows, her Manifesting Masterclass and
I've been on a website.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
This bird doesn't stop too us all over the place.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So no matter where you're listening to this in the world,
I'm sure you'll be able to see Gabby or at
least get your hands on her newest book, Self Help.
She's also re releasing The Universe Has Your Back because
it's its tenth anniversary this year, which I got to
have a read of in prep for this chat, so
we unpack.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
A little with that as well.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Right, I'm gonna hand it over to the interview with
the incredible Gabby Bernstein. I hope you love it all right,
big love poru mate, Gabby Bernstein. When this offered an
interview you came through, I like got so excited I
(03:29):
called my pod manager. You like literally made my day.
So first of all, thank you for being here, mate.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Babes, so happy to be with you. Thank you for
having me.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
And can I say you come into Australia, how exciting.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
You know, it's kind of a regular gig for me.
I my best friend lives in Sydney. So it's a
selfe that I come. But I also find that the
AZZI audience is just such a fun crowd to give
talks for, because you guys are one so great for
when people come all the way to you, And I
think it's a really spiritual crowd, right, It's a really
(04:06):
it's a crowd that's really into personal development and spirituality.
And so I'm doing this manifesting masterclass in May.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
This sounds unreal in May, so to the listener, all
the details are in the show notes. Brizzy melbs, sids,
lock in and get their busy beads.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I'm coming. That was the best thing I've ever heard.
It's so cute.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So you, my friend, are so celebrated all over the world.
You are a number one New York Times bestselling author,
and you've just written your tenth book, which I inhaled.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Did you go the last Yeah? The last forty eight hours?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Mate, I inhaled this, and I have so many questions
for you.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Can I ask you some questions about self?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Absolutely? Yes, And I'm so excited that you inhaled it.
That's so good.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Took notes, I've got highlighted notes here like the millennial
that I am.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I have to handwrite.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So first things first, can you teach me what if isses?
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yes? So my book is my tenth book, and it's
based on a therapy that's called Internal Family Systems therapy.
I've written prior to this book nine other mainly spiritual
self help books, and this one is very spiritual as well,
but it's the first that's sort of based on a
therapy that is something I'm trained in that I have
(05:27):
democratized and demystified in this book, making the therapy a
self help practice with the blessing of the founder, Dick Schwartz.
And again, I think my training in it allowed me
to feel the confidence in making it a little bit
of a truncated version of the therapy. So Internal Family
(05:48):
Systems is really about how we have a family of
parts of ourselves inside. It's not about our external family.
It's about the young aspects of ourself, the protection mechanisms
that run the show inside of our in our system,
in our internal system. And so most of us live
often from trigger to trigger to trigger to trigger, and
(06:08):
we get triggered by something, maybe a core wound from
our past, and then we immediately start protecting against it.
So we start protecting ourselves from these wounds, and so
we live often in these modes where we can look
at our situations and say, oh my god, I did
that again, or why am I so controlling? Or why
am I such a people pleaser? Why do I struggle
(06:30):
so much in relationships? Or why do I always play small?
And these patterns that we're often questioning or maybe judging
ourselves for are actually really young parts of who we are,
real hardcore protection mechanisms that we've grown to rely on
to feel safe.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I love the way you to talk about protection, like
this protected part we've we've got the manager, we've got
the firefighters, and the way you share like the controlling
part of yourself being it to protector. I feel like
we can all relate to that, right perfectionism.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Yes, yes, the controller is definitely a big time protector.
The controller is a big time protector. So we've got controllers,
we've got, we've got we've got. You know, people, if
you've ever said sort of like I've got a lot
of anxiety, that's a protection mechanism. Sometimes anxiety is masking
something deeper, and so what happens in the book, is
(07:27):
it really gives you this four step practice of becoming
connected and curious and compassionate towards these younger parts of yourself. Uh,
so that you don't judge yourself, so that you stop
overriding yourself, so that you can befriend these aspects of
yourself rather than judge them. It's, it's, it's it's a
it's a huge practice.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It's life changing, and it's it's kind of and I
love the way you say the start of the book,
it's it's kind of terrifying to like befriend these parts
of yourself. But also as long as I love the
way you describe these these eight c's that if we're
in that space, it's like anything's possible.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
So can you teach me the four step chick In method.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yes. And the eight seeds that you're referring to are
what in ifs are called self energy, and self is
like the God within us, the spirit within us, our
Buddha nature, you know what. Might call it many different things,
but that self energy is calm and compassionate, courageous and clear,
creative and confident and has clarity that it's the resourced
(08:34):
part of who we are and what we check in
when when we get triggered and we do these four
steps that I'm going to share with you, we can
access more of that resourced part of who we are
inside rather than getting overwhelmed and blended with that that
that that reactive part. That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, it's so digestible. Can you can you share.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
The four steps? So let's just say you have a
people pleaser, you have a controlling part, or you have anxiety,
or you're in this situation where you might feel like
you're very reactive in moments, or you think you have
negative thoughts about yourself. These are protection mechanisms, and so
choosing something to work with when part of these aspects
(09:16):
of yourself to work with, you would follow the four steps.
And the first step is to check in with that
part of yourself. So instead of checking out, like, oh,
I don't want to feel this, so I'm going to
go pick up a drink, or I'm going to go work,
or I'm going to go numb out in some way,
you would choose to check inside, and that's just focusing
your attention inside. The second step is to become curious
(09:37):
about that aspect that part of yourself and so you
might ask some questions like how long have you been around?
What do I know about you? Is there any images
or thoughts or sensations, where in your body does it live?
Just getting some curiosity, teasing it out a little bit.
Then the third step is compassionate connection, and that's when
you would compassionately ask what do you need? And this
(10:00):
is huge for these parts of ourselves are so young
inside and we never ask you that you need. We're
off and just like get over it, move on. And
then the fourth step is to check for the self inside.
So check for the qualities of self. So are you
more calm? Do you feel more connected? Do you have
more clarity? Do you feel do you feel a confidence
(10:21):
coming forward? Do you feel some kind of connection? And
I love lovely. I love that creativity is on that
list too. It is a creative like I know if
I'm like holding on too tired or resisting something, I
can't ever sit in that creativity.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
And so when I saw that on.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Your list of eight seas, I was like, yes, this
makes such sense. Now when you come to Australia, this
is a manifesting masterclass. So I also inhaled the universe
as your back because you're flipping amazing, my friend. And
my favorite chapter was chapter four, which is your vibes
speak louder than your words. And I imagine if we
(10:59):
want to manifest, we've got to be clear about our
energy and our presence. Can you share a bit about
how important our vibes are when it comes to manifesting.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
It's everything. So the thoughts that we think create beliefs
that we have in our core experience, and those beliefs
create an energy, and that energy sends out a message
and a signal to the universe that says more of this, please.
And so if the energy is low vibe, we're going
to create and attract a lot more low vibe experiences.
Whereas if the energy is free and energized and creative
(11:32):
and confident and self energy, right, we're going to attract
more of that. And so it is very valuable and
important to recognize the power of our thoughts. Most importantly
powered that our thoughts have on our energy, because the
energetic vibration is what is being sent out, being offered up,
(11:52):
being picked up, repurposed, and then presented back to us totally.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And I also love the way to when we're having fun,
like more good stuff comes in and it's like really
you know, like they say also like success love speed,
and so I think when you're in this like joyful
flow state, which you write a lot about, it feels
like it just it's like a magnet to bring more
good stuff in, to bring more of the stuff that
(12:18):
you love, to bring more of the stuff that's aligned
to who you are, and like your true essence is
that advice?
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yes, yes, yes, true?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Am I saying that right? I feel like about it.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
You know, you know, people will be like, oh, I'm
struggling to date, and I'll be like, well, just go
have more fun. Like that's my answer to them, Like, God,
have more fun in your life. You're having more fun
in your life and you're feeling better, and then you
become more attractive energetically, and then you're much more likely
to meet that person on the street or have that
connection at a party, or maybe even have more success
on the apps. So yeah, fun is the ultimate tractor.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
And you mentioned earlier like we all have Oh, well,
I know for me, we all have like a little
bit of anxiety every now and then, and I love
this is back to self help book, but we all
have anxious parts, and it's having that courage to check
in with the anxious part and figure out what that
part of us is calling for or needs or I
(13:12):
love that you're kind of empowering us to not be
afraid of that part of ourselves. How can we let
go of that fear and just be like, no, it's
safe to chick in.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I think when you read the book or listen to
the book, you start to have a new Even if
you don't practice the book, it'll give you a radical
shift inside because it'll help you recognize these aspects of
yourself as just young, little wounded children. Right. And so
you know, I have a six year old and he's
going through some learning stuff and some neurodivergent stuff, and
(13:43):
for six years we've sort of been like, what the hell, Like,
why are you acting like that? Why aren't you sitting
up at the restaurant? Why are your feet on the table.
It's like the kid has ADHD, you know, And now
understanding that and with that awareness and the awareness of
how much he's struggling, oh my god, I have so
much compassion. That clarity creates compassion, That compassion creates connection,
(14:07):
and that connection creates the courage to support him and
the calmness that I need as a mom, And so
that self energy starts to emerge. And so what happens
for us when we're in this place where we see
our young parts of ourselves just like I can see
my son right now, We see these young parts inside
of us as just like little children that need a
(14:27):
lot of freaking help, right they need some support. We
start to witness ourselves in those ways. God, it's such
a change. It's such a shift. Just that alone is
a huge radical shift.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, I love something like I love making notes and
highlighting them on one of them that I made reading
your incredible work was trust yourself and stay curious.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
And I think.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
This is the space where everything that you do kind
of comes from. And it's like if anytime I'm anxious,
often sit in curiosity because it gets something like it's
very grounding and it's almost like it opens up.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Whatever was closed. Yes, totally do you like?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
And I feel like that's I always ask people like,
what would be a mantra or something that you could
share with the listener as like a quick like.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Take away for today?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
And for me the notes, it just feels like, trusting
yourself and staying curious is not a cure ale, but
something that we can always come back to when we're
holding on too tied, or we're being that perfectionist or
we're being that controller.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
You know, would you agree?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
I love that you just pulled that out. Trust yourself
and stay curious. Oh my god, that feels so good.
That was your writing, my friend. Trust yourself and stay curious. Okay,
I'm gonna use that. Thank you. I'm going to reuse
that welcome you. Well. I remember you're like, oh remember
chapter four of the University. I have no idea what
you're talking about right now. I'm like, what's that chapter?
(15:54):
Once in that chapter, I gotta get connected because the
tenth anniversary book is coming out, so I got to
get got to get on that trust yourself and stay curious.
Love it. What a message to offer up today. That
is good.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Another thing, and I just again I'm speaking from a
personal experience, but as someone that is a podcast or
an actor, sometimes rejection is something that can be all
encompassing and you're like, oh, how do I get out
of this rut? Or how do I not have the
self doubt every time I go into an audition or
take a meeting. Is it that leaning into the fun
(16:29):
or leaning into the fear of rejection?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Well, I think that I really oftentimes like to see
rejection as divine production and recognize this is really a
testament to my faith. My faith in the universe is everything,
and I believe that when things don't work out, it's
because something better is on the way or because it
wasn't meant to be. I often believe also that when
(16:53):
the shit hits the fan, that's often direction as well.
So you know that sometimes when things fall apart because
some breakthrough is meant to occur. So I it's also
a choice to see the world through that lens. That
has been my choice, and it's been very helpful because
it's hopeful and what we are in that inner dialogue
(17:18):
of okay, this is you know, thank you, Universe, show
me what's next. A much nicer way to live totally.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
And it comes back to my next point, which is
like making spiritually aligned actions. And I think sometimes rejection
can be like a little like hang on, was that aligned?
Let's let's like reage eagle. Let's take some stock now
and then get really.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Clear.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Now, can you teach us what taking spiritually aligned actions is.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Well, whenever we take an action from a place that's
anxious or like thirsty or controlling, it's never it's always
going to fail, it's never gonna it's never going to thrive.
It's the actions that we take from that place of
faith and trust and joy and love and service that
(18:13):
actually have so much magnitude behind them. So, for example,
you know, if I'm having like a down day and
I'm supposed to record my podcast and you know, let's
just say I have the choice not to or to
do it, I might choose not to because I want
to do it obviously from a spiritually aligned place. If
(18:36):
I have to do something that I don't want to
do in that moment but I am not in the
right energy, I'll get into that alignment. I'll find that
joy in the situation. I'll find that service in the situation.
And so so whatever actions we take from service, love
and joy are going to be back to a lot
of positive momentum and quite the opposite if we're taking
actions from that place that's really controlling or manipulative, or
(18:59):
you know, that's kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I've heard you share.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
You spoke on stage in London and something wasn't Like
you were late to the green room and instead of
taking time to meditate, you kind of just mingled and
then got onto on stage spoke, but it didn't feel
you were like, oh, I'm never going to and arm
love this sentence you wrote.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I'm so virgo by the way, I over research.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Everyone, but you wrote that you made a commitment to
yourself that you'll never go on stage without being connected
to your presence again, I was like, WHOA. What a
powerful thing for anyone to take away, whether they're a speaker,
a podcast, you know, taking a meeting at work, like
taking a beat, taking a moment to be like connected
(19:48):
to your own presence before anything, whether stakes feel really
really high? Has that been a game changer for you
when you made.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
That call mejuor major? No, I don't show up unless
my all of me is showing up. And even in
moments if I say there is an instance where I
was running later, i'd jump on a stage or something
that you know somemes you can't control. I'll line on
the stage. I'll be like, okay, you know, I'm like
(20:15):
to tell the truth. They're like, I just busted in
here and this thing just happened and I didn't realize.
You know, I'll be let's do a meditation together. I'll
do something to just just just ground myself because because
I don't want to carry on like that, I've stopped myself.
Last year, I gave a talk and about fifty ten
minutes into the talk, I said, I'm going to stop
because I'm not in self energy. And I had this
(20:40):
outline and I took the outline and I ripped it
up and I threw it into the audience. I was like,
let's start over. I want to talk to you about
what I'm not in self energy. Let's get into self energy.
And I really taught the whole thing and it was
such an epic talk. That's really good.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
That's that also would take a whole huge sense of
self trust and knowing.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah yeah, I mean that's like twenty years of twenty
five years of topic speak.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
How cool, though, like what a great, what a great?
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Yeah. I don't recommend that to new seers. Okay, I trust.
I trust myself. I trust on stage. I trust myself
so much. I think it's when I trust myself the most. Oh, mate,
I cannot wait to see you on stage. So when
you come to Australia in May, are you going to
be in Brenny Melby or City?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
You're gonna kill me.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
I actually live in Los Angeles, so I'm on a
like I'm seeing fam on holiday.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Now I'll be back in LA. So I just have
to come see you in America.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Mate, I'm in LA all the time.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
So perfect. Done deal.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
So for this manifesting masterclass, I would love for the
listener today to take away just a couple of things
that are in your manifesting toolkit?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Can you share a couple of sure?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
For sure. We'll add the masterpilts. I'm going to teach
people first the ways that we block our manifesting paths
and the beliefs and the stories that block us. And
we'll do a lot of the self help stuff as well,
because I'll help you actually start to have a radical
shift around those core beliefs and start to heal. And
so I think that those four steps that I taught
to you today would be a really great place for
somebody to start manifesting, because we manifest what we believe,
(22:19):
and the core beliefs need healing, and that whole all
of self help is about how we access that inner
healing so that we can change our inner belief systems
on a very core level. And in that shift, we
start to become a different point of attraction, start to
feel differently, and that different feeling energy starts to attract
(22:40):
a different vibration into our life. So I think that
the four steps of check in choose to check in
curiosity towards the part of you, compassionate connection, asking what
do you need, and then checking for those qualities of self.
I think that's the place to start. It is the
real manifesting flex and can I love it?
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I've written this, it's all written down in a highlight
of my friend, but I have to ask, as someone
that is highly impatient, is that faith? Is that trust?
Is that a sense of self belief? How do we
find that?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Patients?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
It's also just taking ownership of the thoughts you think. Right.
So there's another method that I think is a super
attractor of my book called to Choose Again method, and
it's witnessing the negative thoughts that you're repeating all the
time and forgiving yourself. The second step is to forgive
yourself for having that thought. The third step is to
reach for the next best feeling thought. So you would
(23:38):
maybe be like, I'm broke and I've got no money,
and so you forgive yourself. Okay, that's a belief I
thought that. I keep thinking. It's a believe I'm holding.
I'm going to reach for the next best feeling thought.
And the next best feeling thought could be like, well,
I've got a good resume and I've got some connections
on LinkedIn, and then I can get on LinkedIn and
I could spend like hours on LinkedIn. I could just
do my full time job just getting on LinkedIn and
(23:58):
making connections, and I can actually have a lot of
fun doing that. And you see how I'm reaching for
these next studs and next starts. And as you reach,
you start to feel a better vabraetion and your vibes
speak more than your.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Words, mate, All about the vibes.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
All about the vibes, About the vibe you are flipping
wonderful by the way, Gabby, Like, I just wish I
could have you in my pocket and anytime I needed
a good luck.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
To you, whip you out of you.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly failing as always.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Thank you to our.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Guests and let's continue the conversation on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I'm at Yamo Lullaberry. This potty my word for podcast
is available on all streaming platforms.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate and comment
and of course spread the love.
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