Joey Sauce: Insights on Big Life Transitions and Routines

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to another episode of the Feel Free
podcast, the only podcast thatwill tell you to chase your
dreams and call you out on yourfucking bullshit, Myself
included.
It's been a while since weposted an episode.
I think it's been about twomonths.
We'll be talking a little bitabout that today.
Not really any structure today,I'll be honest, I didn't like
plan shit.
I wasn't to be honest.

(00:28):
Joey hit me up saying that hewanted to be on the podcast and
I haven't felt too creative.
Lately.
I've been working a little biton writing, playing video games,
watching too much anime andother unhealthy habits, but you
know so.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
You already know it's good yeah you already know it's
good.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
So we're back here.
We're going to be doing thisagain.
Like I said, I don't reallyhave much of a plan today.
I didn't write shit down.
I had a notepad with nothingwritten on it.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
But we're just going for it.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, we're just going to shoot the shit pretty
much.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
That was kind of the thought process behind doing
this.
Not much structure I just kindof wanted to talk about it.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
There were a couple things that I wanted to ask you
specifically.
I know you wanted to talk alittle bit, maybe about the
transition to a new job, maybehow that's stressful and stuff
like that.
You know other.
I mean, that's pretty much themain one I kind of felt like you
wanted to come and talk about,because that affects all the
other aspects of life really,when you make a big change like

(01:32):
that.
Yeah, the other thing I wantedto ask about was how long you
were off your prescription forAdderall, because you're not
prescribed that and you stoppedtaking it for a couple of years,
right, I think it was like sixyears, six years off of it right
.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah, at least five, if not six, years.
Yeah, it was a really long timeRight, really really long time.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Right.
So I was wondering, likeobviously, with the transition
to the new job, and then youstarted taking it again.
I don't want to talk a littlebit about that Maybe kind of
just give updates on our healthand wellness stuff, like that.
Specifically, like not workingout, I'm not.
You know, I wasn't doing shit.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
No, it's been a bad couple months for me on that.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
I'd say that too.
Yeah for me.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, I think the last two months, just in that
aspect of the working out andbeing active, these last two
months have been my least activetwo months probably in the last
three years.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yeah, I was going to say I think like three years
Ever since you started doing theketo and losing all the weight.
So this is probably the leastactive you've been since
changing your life a coupleyears ago, right.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, yeah, and it kind of happens just a couple of
life changes Like it juststarted with.
You know I took those vacationsto the lake house and kind of
gets you out of the routine oflike.
You know I had my routine downto like a science, like every

(03:08):
minute of my day was planned andthen you know going up to the?
U for those three days, youknow it kind of takes you out of
it.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Like for Labor Day Labor.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Day and I took the solo trip I think like a week or
two before that, and so it kindof started with my solo one.
When I went for like three daysand coming back, coming back, I
just I lost the motivation toget up and go to the gym.
It was just and it was verybizarre and the three years that

(03:43):
I've been going I've neverreally I always looked forward
to going to the gym in themorning.
That was what got me through,you know, a good chunk of my day
.
That set up my day real welland like mentally it was.
It was very, very, very, verylike therapeutic for me and it
was.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
it's just weird, it's weird being out of it.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
And it just kind of happened.
Yeah, it just happened out ofnowhere, really Like I've gone
on trips, you know, in thesethree years, but then when I
came back it was just right backinto it right back into it, and
I don't know what was differentabout this time.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
It just burnout is one reason.
I could say it's like you know,we know these things are good
for us, like working out, andsometimes sitting on the couch
is also very addictive.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Best thing.
It's just sometimes, when youyou know, like I've reached this
too, starting last year, when Ilost Bubba and I started
smoking the cigars and playingmore video games than I should
have, I stopped working out andstuff.
You know, up until that point,like my sobriety and my routine
and stuff like that was likedown pat and I was almost

(04:52):
reaching a plateau of myproductivity and creativity, and
that you know, that's when lifekind of makes you take a step
back and be like, you know, doyou have to change your methods
or your perspective on things?
Right, and it's a humblingexperience, you know.
And in the last year, afterprobably smoking cigars for six

(05:12):
months and then not smokingcigars for six months, you know
it's, it's like night and day,the six months that I'm not.
You know there's better habitsinvolved with that.
When I'm smoking, I'm on thecouch, I'm playing video games,
I'm watching TV.
I'm not caring too much aboutmy diet, you know, it's just
like a, it's a snowball effect.
Yeah, you know, yeah,absolutely, and I had to get

(05:35):
back in that routine, like yousaid, because normally, like you
said, on vacations you're likeI came back and I got right back
to it.
You know, and it's as you getolder I've noticed it's it's
tougher to do that you know.
So, like I just turned 30 overthe summer and I've had issues
with quitting the cigars andgetting back in the gym and

(05:55):
stuff, because you know youalready live a sedentary life,
working, you know.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
And then you get home and you're like, well, I'm
fucking tired you know, yeah,and it's kind of going back to
like the stress of a new job,Like I it's just it was a very
big transition from the verybeginning.
They kind of just threw youinto the wolves with my job and
right, and so just come home,come home, and when normally,

(06:23):
normally I'd come home and youknow, cooked in, like cook
dinner, and you know like clean,like take care of the house,
you know things like that, and Iwould probably kind of come
home and knock all that stuffout, I'd come home and I'm just,
I'm done, I'm dead.
Like I just sit on the couch,just sit on the couch for three
hours until I go to bed.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Right.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
It's just, it's just bad.
Yeah, it's tough.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
It's tough.
Yeah Well it's.
You know it's, in a sense it'srelaxing.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
So I'm not going to look.
You know, I've learned not tolook back at the last year of
like what I've done incompletely negative manner,
because I reached that pointbecause of my burnout Right and
I've enjoyed my time relaxingI'm not going to say I haven't
enjoyed my time playing videogames and smoking cigars because
it's a good time yeah.

(07:10):
It's just as I've gottenaddicted to positive habits in
my life to the point of burningout.
You know, I get addicted to thethe not so good habits, right,
right, yeah, that's kind of whywe're here with this episode.
I mean, I know you've got someshit you're dealing with and I
got some shit that I'm dealingwith too.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, let's just get it out there and get it out
there, right, yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
I was talking to people at Eric's birthday last
night about it.
Oh really, yeah, like, uh, likeReba and Tina and I was talking
a little bit to Eric too, youknow, um, taking a step back and
like trying to reevaluate whatI got to do.
You know, yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
So for you now everything changed.
You said after these trips forLabor Day, right?
So that's kind of like five,six weeks ago, right, yeah, yeah
, right.
When did you start the new job?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
I started the new job , coming up on three months, I
think it's been like two and ahalf months, two and a half
months.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, so you started in August.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
Um, I think it was actually.
It might have been like middleof July, I think.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah, it was sooner than that.
Yeah, for sure, so I think it'sbeen three.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
I think it has been three months, Three or four,
honestly.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
I think, well, because that, yeah, I was doing,
I had a month of licensing, soyeah, so I think, including
licensing, it's been four months, but it's been three months
since I.
It's been three months I'vebeen like on the job, like
actually like doing, doing therole.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Right, yeah, so for for contacts for people that
don't know.
You used to work at the samejob as as me doing the
bookkeeping.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Um, but you threw.
Throughout the years, you'veworked your way up to get a full
time position at JP MorganChase.
That's correct.
Yeah, so up until this pointyou've mostly worked at small
time family businesses, right,including myself.
I mean, I've worked at a coupleplaces that aren't family
businesses, you know, um, butthis is the first time that

(09:08):
you're working a corporate job.
I should say like thedefinition of corporate Right,
right.
No this is about as corporateas corporate gets.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Right.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah, so how's that transition?

Speaker 2 (09:21):
been.
It was definitely been adefinitely been an adjustment
because, yeah, like working foryou know the family jobs of you,
know with you with, uh,bookkeeping, and then you know
working for, working for out oftuxedo, it's just, yeah, it's
it's night and day, thatatmosphere and expectations and
like how you have to carryyourself, and it's just they're

(09:44):
not even comparable.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
No, they're not, no, it's, it's way more relaxed at
the uh family business.
Oh, that is for sure yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
That was the beauty of it.
Yeah, you get to kind of say,act how you want to act and yeah
, and obviously you go into a,you go into a corporate setting
and that's, that's out of thewindow.
No, you have to be no, you haveto, you have to put on the
facade.
So everybody, so everybody.
Yeah, you can't say what youwant to say.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
No, you got to be a little strict with yourself.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
And it's, and I've kind of I've kind of started
loosening up a little bit, Ithink, as I'm kind of getting
used to um, my coworker a littlebit more, I know, I kind of
know where I can kind of ease upa little bit and things like
that.
So it's, it's in that, in thatrespect, it's getting, it's
getting easier but, yeah.
So it's yeah, it's getting, yeah, it's getting better, but it's
yeah.
It was just those first firstcouple of months was we were

(10:36):
very short staffed and therewasn't much like training time
there, just like, oh, you'reready, okay, go do it Right, and
you're just like, okay, great,awesome.
Like yeah, no, it's not like Ineed not like I needed some time
to like get up to speed oranything.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
I need that.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
No, they just threw you in it.
Um yeah, but, but it's uh, butit was, you know, in a way.
In a way it was very um, in away that's it's like in the long
run it's going to be a goodthing because, like the, what I
learned, what I learned in thatshort amount of time, is like it
would have taken me.
It would have taken me like atleast twice as long if they had

(11:13):
like kind of held my hand and,you know, said like kind of
treated me with kid gloves, likeit's just, in a way, it is
better that they just kind ofjust said go do it and figure it
out.
Like you're going to, you'regoing to mess up, and that's
fine, you just learn from it,right, I mean by throwing you
into it too.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
They're almost like, yeah, if he hates it, he's out.
And you're almost tellingyourself like yeah, if I hate it
so fucking much like I'm out.
You know, but that wasn't thecase.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
No, no, I'm starting, as I'm starting to kind of get
get used to it more.
Uh, it's getting, yeah, it's,I'm starting to get more
comfortable.
There's the expectation.
The expectations are prettyhigh, but that's also kind of
comes with with a corporatesetting job where they, yeah,
they hold you to like a reallyhigh standard right, which which
is good, because you want to,you know, know what you're

(12:01):
capable of and you know youshould have the high goals for
yourself and what you want toaccomplish.
So like you set the goals toolow and what do you really
accomplish?
Right, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, so with the change into the corporate
setting, obviously you saidthere was a big transition into
how you carry yourself,obviously the the less relaxed
environment from a familybusiness.
Now there's like also thechange in schedule too.
So as you're working thiscorporate setting.
You're up earlier.

(12:32):
I mean, you might have been upat the same time when you were
working for AYS, but it was alittle more relaxed.
You're like, oh, I can go hitthe gym, you know kind of derp
around a little bit.
And then come into work.
You know it's mostly as long asthe work gets done.
You know there wasn't like aset timeframe for that, you know
.
So how has moving to the newjob.

(12:54):
What changes have you had tomake to your wellness routines
in order to keep those goingstrong?

Speaker 2 (13:03):
That's accountability , is really a big one.
Yeah, cause, cause, like yousaid, the like working for
working for AYS, like I wasalways like waking up early I
still wake up, at the same timeit's always like around six in
the morning, but when I wasworking AYS, yeah I'd, I'd get
up, I'd make coffee, I'd kind ofsit on my phone for a while and
, yeah, I probably wouldn'tleave until like eight, eight,

(13:25):
30.
So if you know, like you saidit, just for those first two
hours in the morning, you kindof just derp, derp around yeah,
yeah, but, yeah, but.
But now, being over there, like, yeah, you have to be there,
you have to be there, sometimeseight or eight, 30 in the
morning.
So you get up at six.
If you do have to hit the gym,you're, you're out the door by
quarter seven.

(13:45):
So there you have like, yeah,there's only.
You get like 30, 45 minutes tokind of get yourself, get
yourself ready and get yourselfgoing.
So, yeah, it's definitelythere's more.
Uh, they had to just be morestrict with my regiment, right,
not like, yeah, there's just,there's really, there's no
derping around in the morninganymore.
So, that was, that was also.
That was also a transition, andI love, I loved derping around

(14:09):
for that hour or two Like it wasjust.
It was just very uh, cause Iknew like once I left, of course
it was just now.
It's like, now you got to getyour stuff done, like you're
just go go go.
So yeah, so that was, that wasa transition, too Right.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
But what do you do?
What do you do after work?
That's any different.
Probably just the same shit.
You know that you were doingwhen you were here, right?

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, pretty much the same stuff, like come home,
come home, make dinner, do whatI need to around the house.
Yeah, it's just very like likeadulting Right.
Very basic stuff, for sure.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Now you said you kind of reached a little bit of a a
snag in the last couple monthsof, you know, not being too
active ever since the vacationand stuff.
I guess I should also kind ofsegue into why did you start
taking your prescription again?

Speaker 2 (15:02):
That's a good question.
That's a good question I'veasked myself.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
I've asked myself that do you think it's impeding
your want to work out?
Does it have anything to dowith the working out thing?

Speaker 2 (15:15):
It's.
It's hard to say.
I think in a way, yes, okay,like I think it does, and I
think it does impede it a littlebit.
Yeah, but I think the wholereason I started taking it again
was, honestly, inadequacy,because I'm just like I kind of
told myself like if you, I don'thave it, I'm not going to be

(15:35):
able to to get up to speed andit's just corporate setting.
Yeah, yeah, it's like I neededthat extra focus and like boost
to.
You know, get what I need toget what I need to get done
right, because I thought withoutit I I wouldn't have, I
wouldn't be able to do it, whichis obviously.
It's just.
Yeah, you just it's amazingwhat you'll tell yourself, right

(15:57):
?
So, in order to get yourselfback to doing like taking what
you used to take, right, youjust lie to yourself but it has
helped you though.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
Right, it has helped yeah it definitely.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
It definitely does help and but, knowing you know
my history with it as somethingI have to monitor very, very
closely, right?
So because I like just thethought of when I started like
my licensing with it and saidlike, oh yeah, I need this
because it'll help, and I needlike I was just it, just a lot
of it was just stress, I kind ofconvinced myself that I wasn't

(16:28):
going to pass my exams withoutit, right and and so it
definitely, it definitely helped.
And then I told myself, okay,once I, once I pass my licenses,
I'm done, I'm not taking itanymore, I passed my licenses.
Then you start telling yourself, oh well, you know it's gonna
be, it's gonna be a hard sixmonths.
You gotta see, you need it forthe first six months to get

(16:50):
yourself up and running and it'sjust, it's always, it's always
something right.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
It's always something you tell yourself to keep, keep
taking it now, do you seeyourself weaning off of it or
not taking it once you feelcomfortable and up to speed?

Speaker 2 (17:04):
I want to tell like in my head, yes, okay, I want to
, but also, that being said, Iknow, I know how, I know how I
am and like I could tell myself.
I can tell myself I'll weanmyself off.
I can tell myself anything butit's all the doing it.
Yeah, yeah, talk is talk ischeap, talk is cheap.

(17:26):
And.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
I'd say, even like internal talk to yourself is is
pretty cheap, sometimes 100%,100% no, it's the it's and
that's that's.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
The internal voice is the one that is the one that
gets me in trouble.
It's always the voices fromfrom around me, the people in my
life are the ones that that Ineed, that I need the most,
because the voice because likewhat I tell myself is not always
, is not always very helpfulright.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
I think we put too much weight on the words that we
tell ourselves, but also we puttoo much weight on the words
that other people tell us to.
That's true, you know.
So it's being able to likecontrol that conversation that
you have with yourself and theones with other people, and not
taking it too personally.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yeah, it's the greenest.
The whole grain of salt thing.
Right, take it and takeeverything with a grain of salt.
Yeah, from the.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, the way you tell yourself and what other
people tell you right and I meanI'm, you know, I've reasoned
with myself the last 12 monthswith the smoking thing and the.
They're not staying consistentwith the, the writing in the
podcasting, because it's likeI'm having that internal
conversation with myself.
I'm like I'm gonna wean off thecigars, only have like one or

(18:37):
two today and I end up havingfour or five anyway.
Yeah, you know, because it's,it's weird, because I'll almost
like go on autopilot to likefill those impulses, you know,
and that's just the mind of anaddict, though, oh for sure I'll
already be sitting in my cardriving to the gas station to
get something, and in my headI'm already like convincing
myself like I'll get around toquitting.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
Yeah you know, and I'm like I've been here a
million fucking times, dude,honestly, and it's amazing
though you can go like like five, six years without something,
and that voice, that voice isthere.
Oh, it's there for sure.
It doesn't go away.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
It does not go away, yeah you you just kind of learn
when you're not doing it.
You learn how to and I wouldn'teven say drown it out, yeah,
but you learn how to maneuver itfor sure, just kind of like go
about your life without it,right, like I could honestly
keep telling myself to go buythe fucking cigars.
I haven't smoked them in 13, 14days, yeah, you know, and like

(19:32):
that shit will like come into myhead and sometimes I'll feel
like caving, but then it's likeI have other things to do now.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
Right, you know yeah, no, and that was, and I know
it's kind of the one thing wekind of both had in common was
the cigar.
Yeah, because I also startedpicking up cigars right and yeah
, and I would, I'd kind of catchmyself on the same thing.
So, like my new schedule, likeI have Wednesdays off and so
like Wednesdays, you know, Istill still help out and things

(19:58):
like that, but I kind of catchmyself being like you know oh, I
got the day off.
You know I can go to Benny'sand get a cigar you know, it's
like I've earned it, it's my dayoff.
You know I'm working hard thisand that, and then you know you
get to Sunday.
Then you get to Sundays and youtell yourself the same thing
and before you and before youknow it, it's, it's just every
every day off you have yourevery little instance.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
You're like I could totally enjoy that right now for
sure, like that sounds goodright now.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
You convince yourself you deserve it and that you've
earned it.
And and it's just yeah,anything, any little thing you
can tell yourself to getyourself to cave, and that's
just like you said, not likemaneuver, maneuvering that
thought process and channelingit differently, right, yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:40):
um, um.
For those that don't know outhere the context, joey and I
have made a bet, uh, that wecan't go six months without
nicotine or cigars.
Um, so we bet each other 50bucks.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
I actually know 100.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
No, we actually upped it to 100 dollars last night,
yeah, so we have six months, soaround the first first week of
April we'll see who's stillstanding um, and if we both make
it, then you know we don't oweeach other money obviously so
nobody wins.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
We just win by, you know, taking care of ourselves
no, then we both, then we bothwin by saying we went, we went
the six months right good, weget a good, uh, a good handshake
out of it, or sure, yeah, yeah.
Well, the other thing is I havethe second bet.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
I got the second bet going on uh with Lisa right now.
So the joke is um, you got tomake a bet with alumniki to make
it important you know, so likeuh, the joe philosophy the joe
philosophy.
Like everyone knows, like I'vehad my brother on the podcast a
few times and like his wholerunning thing all started with a

(21:44):
really simple bet.
Or like him getting sober andtotally changing his life
happened with like a $50 betthat he couldn't run a five
minute mile during covid andtotally changed his whole
fucking life.
And then I bet him that hecouldn't move out of the house
by his birthday the followingyear.
I bet him $50 of steak or someshit and then he literally to

(22:06):
like spite me or whatever movesout, like six days before his
birthday he goes, you got thatmoney.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
I'm like this fucking guy, dude.
You know, only joe would go tothose lengths for a $50 bet.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
That's hilarious so I actually uh, so I actually have
a pretty big bet with uh Lisa.
Lisa bet me that I can't go.
I asked her to make this betthough that's the thing.
I asked her to make the betwith me that I can't go a year
without nicotine, but I bet her$500 that's a big one.
That's a big one, you knowbecause I, honestly, I made like

(22:38):
a smaller bet with her for like$50 or $100 and then I think,
like something happened.
I was having a bad week or itwas like the camping incident
with the uh, the bed bugs andlike the cat passing away and
like I was just like I justcouldn't handle it.
I told her to in a text like,yeah, I'm gonna have some
nicotine pouches or whatever.

(22:59):
And she knew I was like down inthe dumps about it.
And she goes oh, you don't haveto pay me.
And I'm like that's not howthis works like I'm gonna pay
you.
It's like the integrity of it,you know right but after smoking
the cigars again for a coupleweeks and getting sick of myself
, I'm like all right, like Igotta up this to 500, because
there's no fucking way I'mpaying $500 to her you know,
yeah, yeah, you do what you do,what you gotta do, any any

(23:23):
external motivation you gottagive yourself.
You gotta like take it right andthen after like, of course, the
first couple days sucks, it'slike god, I don't even want to
do this.
I want to just like keepsmoking and and being a fucking
bump on the log, you know, andthen like, after a week or two
of getting back to like myself,I'm like all right, this is,
this is good, we're, we're,we're chilling a little bit yeah

(23:43):
, you know like internally, likemy.
My well-being and my wellness iscoming back to me yeah, you
know yeah so, yeah, we got thesix month bet with you, I got
the one-year bet with her, um,and in that time Do you have any
plans, of these six months, toget active and do the wellness

(24:04):
thing and shit like that?

Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, yeah, definitely the other.
The other thing that's kind ofaffected me with getting back on
that or all is my Am I eating?
Like, of course, my eating hasbeen really, really messed up,
so like Like normally I don't,normally, even when I wasn't
taking it like I didn't eat, Ididn't eat very much.
Like during the, during the day, like when I'd work, I just

(24:28):
kind of eat something real light.
But like ever since I startedkind of getting back on Adrog
and like I don't eat anythinguntil like Like till I get after
, till I get home from work likesix, seven o'clock at night and
that's just.
It's just bad dude.
That's just like.
That's just so unhealthy.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
I know it's fucked up .

Speaker 2 (24:45):
It is, man it is, and so I got a like and no, and I
know, and so that's definitelysomething that I got a.
That's a big reason why I wantit.
I got to get eventually weanmyself off of it, because long
term that's just, you can't gountil seven o'clock every day
without eating.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
Without eating, I mean, there's like certain Times
that you can do fasting, yeah,stuff like that.
Like I fast and shit, but Toalways be fasting like that all
the time, it's like, yeah, Idon't know about that.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
Yeah especially when you're like I feel like, if
you're kind of doing like, likea like if you're pretty much
through sheer willpower likedoing fasting, like you're not
relying on a substance To do thefasting, and I think like in
short, like in short term,that's fine.
But because I because,obviously, through my keto, like
I, I was fasting on Like everysingle day, like a pretty much

(25:34):
every single day.
It was like 18 hours but yeah,but I wasn't relying on a
substance to do it right, and soyou're doing it.
Yeah, I'm just doing it and so,yeah, I don't like the fact that
I I need that.
I'm like I tell myself like, oh, and then also, you know, it's
like it also was hoping me loseweight and it's like that's not
the correct way to do it to doit.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah, so it's just another.
Yeah, I could have said thesame thing when I started doing
Adderall, when I lost 50 pounds.
Oh wait, look at thesewashboard ads, Bro.
You look like a fuckingskeleton looking ass.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
Oh my god, I know, it's amazing what you tell.
It's amazing what you tellyourself.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Oh, my god yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
I know that's, that's not, yeah, so that's, that's
another.
That's another big part of ittoo that I don't like About it
the eating.
Yeah, yeah, it really messes upthe really messes up the eating
.
I.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Can see it messing up , just like your overall energy
outside of the times like that.
You need it.
So like work, it's great.
Like you said, your focus craplike that.
It's just like all the otherthings outside of work.
Now it's like okay, I don'tfeel too driven To get back in
my working out.
My eating is all fucked up.
Maybe I'm exhausted from takingit now.

(26:45):
At the end of the day, yeahthere's just a whole bunch of
things that can go wrong with it, right?

Speaker 2 (26:50):
right.
Yeah, no, it's true, that's theyou.
You feel pretty steady likethroughout the day, but then,
yeah, by the time you get home,starts to wear off and yeah, you
just, you just crash really,really bad.
And then when I do start eating, then then I just don't like,
even when I do start eating,like that's, you've gone so long
, I like I get kind of.
I get like a little sick when Istart eating, like again, right

(27:12):
, yeah, so it's just.
It's just not good.
Yeah, it's just not good like inthat part of it, it's just not
good.
Yeah, I feel that it's justyeah it's.
It's helped, it's very helpfulfor work, but yeah, and like
almost all other areas of mylife, it's Kind of had a
negative effect, negative effect.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah right, I mean, at least you see that yourself
aware of it.
Yeah, you know yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
So I gotta, yeah, I gotta just get to the Get to
where I'm just like I'm like I'mcomfortable enough in my job,
to where I don't need it right.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
But yeah, so well, that's good, yeah, yeah so yeah,
nicotine.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
Then the nicotine aspect of it, yeah cuz, yeah, I
had a roll of nicotine is justEven get me started on the end.
Fuck, yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
It's like how can I go faster and then I throw like
some coffee in there.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Oh, that's the it was .

Speaker 1 (28:06):
It was energy drinks for me back then.
Yeah, it was like energy drinksat all and nicotine.
I'm just like fucking Bump,bopping around, jazzed out for
no fucking reason In my freetime.
It's like John, what are youdoing?

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah, yeah, it's like you're not even like in college
anymore.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
I'm not even a work, and then either it's like after
work, I'm just fucking jackedfor no fucking reason Good
trying to try to sleep, goodfucking.
Yeah, no, I wasn't.
Yeah, I was too busy staying upchain smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
Or a clogging.
The four clog in the morningchain smoking cigarettes?
Yeah None.
When you do fall asleep, youwake up every couple hours,
tossing and turning that showterrible dude.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah, I've actually been tossing and turning in the
last couple nights because ofthis tattoo.
Oh, that's fucking brutal man.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, trying to yeah, I remember, I remember doing my
chest and every time I wouldlike, I'd like wake up, I'd wake
up and I'd be like on my sideand my chest was, like you know,
kind of compressed because I'mon my side.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Yeah, go, oh, yeah, like, and then like turn.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, I'd have to turn back over.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
And yeah, I just remember waking up several times
and I turned over in my sleepand yeah, I'm just like rolling
around trying to get comfortableand I sleep on my stomach, so I
normally have, like my armsunder my pillow.
Yeah, you know, but like everytime, I put my arm under my
pillow and like, oh fuck.
And then I'm like trying tohold it on the side like this
and like, oh fuck, you know, andI'm just like rolling around

(29:44):
like a fucking burrito, you know.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
I just can't get, can't get a good solid couple
hours you know, now you're done.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Now you're done.
Yeah, it's the first week orit's usually the first week
after getting a tattoo like that, where it's like it's brutal.
Yeah, after that I'll probablybe good.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Yeah, is it peeling, yet?
No, it's probably a few daysaway from peeling.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Yeah, it's, no, it's not peeling yet.
Yeah it's, it's tight.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
Oh, it's like just stiff.
Yeah, you know yeah, there's nomovement in the skin.
Yeah, it's just, and I don'tand I don't use Lotion.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
Or you go dry, you go dry heal, I dry, heal it until
I can't Take it anymore, untillike it just isn't shit like
that.
But I don't just like startfucking slap and lotion on it
for two weeks straight.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
You know I used to do that for the first couple ones.
Yeah, and it, it doesn'tbreathe like it just doesn't let
it breathe.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yeah, it doesn't like a heel.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah, the thing you know um yeah, it kind of did,
started doing the same thing.
I waited until yeah, I think Iwaited until it started peeling
and then it got like super itchyand I'm like yeah, I can't do
it anymore.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Yeah, I'm not gonna sit here slapping my arm making
the itches go away.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Oh my god, I remember what I used to do is I used to
like, I used to like tap it Withmy fingers and it was like just
enough sensation for it to goaway.
But, then it would like comeback 30 seconds later and I just
sit there like a maniac, justtap in my.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
Please go away, please go see the look on our
parents faces when they saw myarm.
You know why.
Why do you?

Speaker 2 (31:15):
Remember my mom.
What, what's the motivation?

Speaker 1 (31:18):
behind it.
What's the meaning?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
He's fucking sick.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Awesome, it's awesome , yeah, I stopped going into
like details like I used to.
People used to ask me like themeanings and shit behind my
tattoos and Sometimes I givewatered down meanings to people
that it's just like I know youdon't like totally care.
Yeah, I know, you're just likeasking.
You know, like, when, likeclose friends ask me about it,

(31:46):
I'll go into detail about it,right, you know?
Or someone who's gen genuinelylike interested, and you can
tell, then it's like okay, youknow, I'll tell you, but I get
the tattoos for me.
Yeah, you know, yeah, so that's, that's it, right?
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah, that's yeah, I used to yeah, I kind of I think
I used to kind of try to justifyit like with the meaning yeah,
it's okay because it's gotmeeting yeah cuz it's got this
significant meaning to me and itwas like.
It was like a special.
It was a special period of mylife.
And it's like, yeah, triggeredthis, triggered this like
Paradigm shift or whatever right.

(32:22):
Yeah and so.
But now it's like you said,it's just to the point, right, I
don't care anymore.
Like I get something and theygo, what's the meaning?
I'm like I liked it, like Ijust leave it.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
I'm just like I don't not, I'm notifying it like I
used to think growing up too,and I'm like all I'm not just
gonna get a Tattoo because itlooks good you know, cuz some
people get like tribal tattoosand shit.
And, like you know, it was justlike super judgmental on me,
like I don't care right.
You know, like if you thinkit's cool and you like it that's
one thing you know, yeah.
I'm not gonna sit over here andget like a banana on a

(32:51):
surfboard smoking a joint,though.
You know, I'm not just gonna getsomething ridiculous like that
you know some people do rightand that's their shit, Right you
know, you do it up.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
You do.
You do what you got it right,exactly, yeah if you enjoy it,
then that's all that matters,cuz yeah, you shouldn't you get
them for yourself?
What other people think?

Speaker 1 (33:08):
doesn't matter, doesn't fucking matter, yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah, that's Like it, don't like it, fuck it, fuck it
, yeah, right.
So yeah, that was kind of yeah,that was yeah, so I've kind of
gotten to that point, yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yeah, I got the next one in March, so I'm looking
forward to it.
That's like a nice.
It's a nice like reset for metoo, because it's I'm trying to
like find more things to like,look forward to like excitement,
you know, cuz life gets alittle mundane.
Oh sure, and I think with howmundane life can get when you're

(33:44):
You're working a job to pay thebills and stuff like that, it
gets really easy To get down onyourself and be like, well, I'm
already exhausted from thesemundane things, so I'm gonna go
home and do more Mundane thingsand I'm gonna live this mundane
life, you know cuz.
And then here's a vacation here, there, here's an event I'm

(34:08):
going to blah, blah, blah.
You know.
Yeah, that's not how I shouldlike go around, that's not how I
should go around, live in,right, you know.
So you got to find the thingsthat you know you're excited
about.
It's like the tattoo I'mexcited about.
I'm excited to get back intohooping again.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
Now that I'm like taking my knee health Seriously
again, like when I was doing itin March and April, like when I
was dunking consistently, youknow, and I got hurt over the
summer a couple times and I'mlike it's all cuz I stopped
doing my, my regiments for myknees and stuff, right.
So it's, you know, trying tofind the things to look forward
to, like there's a new videogame that came out and I played

(34:47):
the fuck out of it for two weeksyou know, yeah, yeah, you gotta
find, you gotta find somethingto break up your day, right?

Speaker 2 (34:54):
You know, we got the new cat now too.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Yeah, I still gotta come by and I.
Was gonna talk about that inanother episode, about
everything that happened withLou, but I'm probably just gonna
do a solo podcast for that.
You know For I mean everyonethat follows me on social media
and people in my life know thatwe lost Lou, you know.
So a week ago, oh, a littleover a week ago, last Wednesday,

(35:21):
we went to the humane societyand we got a new cat.
Her name is Moya.
She's the Japanese name formist Cuz.
I don't know, she kind of lookssmoky like she's like white and
gray With a little like tint ofblue in it.
You know it's cool.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Yeah, she's good cat.
She's two years old.
Oh, she's too.
Okay, she's two, so that's cool.
It's nice, looking forward tothat and come home too.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
I need an animal in my life.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
I was gonna say I also would like an animal, but
being gonna being in a condo istough.
Yeah, it is tough, it's tough,yeah, that's why we wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
We wouldn't get a dog until we got a house.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
That's kind of where I'm at too.
Yeah and yeah, and I've thoughtabout, I've thought about
getting a cat because, like yousaid, it is nice to, it is nice
to have an animal in the house.
Like, even though I am, I ammore of a dog person like I, I
Do, I, I do like cats.
So, like cats are funny.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
Yeah, they are there.
Yeah, they're pretty funnyTrolley they are.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
they really are, though they really are fucking
yeah, oh, my god.
They're their own.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
They're their own creatures right, yeah nothing
like, nothing else, like them, Iknow yeah the energy that dogs
have is awesome, like I'm notsaying I'm not a dog person.
Yeah, all the dogs I've had inmy life too.
I'm definitely more of a catperson.
Yeah, because it's, it'scomical to me, you know, like
this fucking little bastardsometimes I respect them for the

(36:48):
fact that they're littlebastards.
You know, I'm like you I enjoyyour existence yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
I like, I like, I do like the.
I've.
As I've gotten older, the theless maintenance of like a cat
is also nice, because yeah, Ican.
Dogs can.
Dogs are, just do require a lotof attention and a lot of yeah.
And so there's just in that partof it is it's, it's good
because I got like I pardon melikes it because you feel closer

(37:14):
.
You feel closer to the animalthat you kind of have to devote
more time to.
But but also, yeah, like buddy,like buddy, my dog, so he, so
he's a border collie in a blacklab for anybody doesn't know.
So, those dogs, anyway, if youknow collies, they will run
forever, forever.
They will run for two hours aday if you give them the

(37:36):
opportunity and he's now in dogsright.
Yeah, yeah so they, yeah, sothat's like in there, that's in
their genes, like so he's ninenow and Nine years old and he
will still run for an hour a day.
And he's nine years old.
Yeah, it's fuck, it's, it'scrazy, it's a lot, it is.
Oh, yeah, it's a lot.
He's finally slowing down.
But yeah, for the from frompuppy till seven, he needed like

(38:02):
two walks a day and Still andstill was like crazy at night.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Yeah, and it's a lot of energy.
Yeah you said, a lot of energy.
He's very high anxiety, so youhad to.
You'd like separation it hasseparation anxiety, so you'd
like leave him and he'd startlike crying and you're just like
dude, you are so much to handle, right?
Oh my god, like I I have, Ihave things to do and I cannot

(38:28):
Sit here with you all day like Ilove you.
But, oh my god, so yeah, it's a.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
It's a different type of a Relationship you have with
a cat and a dog.
For sure, yeah for sure.
We've already talked about whenwe have a little more time on
our hands.
I told her because we were atthe Humane Society and I'm like
we were deciding between akitten or a cat.
Yeah, I thought you were gonnaget a kitten.
So we were there.
Flora was her name Moya.

(38:55):
So we were walking at theHensdale Humane Society and they
got a lot of cats like In theircages and that the other side
of it's like glass, right.
So you can walk down the halland like see the cats and like
the different cages, right.
Yeah and she was very Tocativeand in our face ever since we

(39:19):
started walking past, like someof them were like sleeping and
others would like look at us.
Some of them would also be likepretty energetic, but she was
like the most Energetic out ofall of them and she was like two
, you know.
And there was Another kitten itwas a black kitten like this
big, and their name was dot-comI don't know the fuck, dot-com

(39:44):
and so she was the first onethat we met, you know.
They put us in a room and shewarmed up to us pretty quick,
apparently from what the theworkers said there, and then we
went in to another room and wehung out with the kitten who,
very playful, you know, was notlike Lou at all, you know, or
like most kittens are actuallylike the one we were, with very

(40:07):
high energy.
Don't pet me, you know, I'mjust gonna run around.
I don't trust you yet.
That's like what a kitten is?
You know, it's very Primalright but, they're fun, you know
, and I was telling we weretrying to decide between the two
and I was telling Lisa and I'mlike, hi, I just don't have it

(40:27):
in me right now, I don't have itin me.
I'm telling you because shestarted her master's program and
and when we got Lou, like Iwork down the street and so I
can co-visit him on lunch, I canbring him to the office, like
when I get home, like playingwith them.
You know it's, it's a lot.
It's like cats and dogs arestill different with the type of

(40:48):
maintenance and because, like,dogs still require more, that
like maintenance later on yougot to take them out.
I got to take them on walkssometime, you know, and like
they're in your face most of thetime and and as cats get a
little older, they get moreindependent, right, but for the
initial first year of having akitten, like it's a lot of
fucking work.
Yeah, you know, and I I toldher I'm like it's, it's gonna

(41:10):
fall on me.
You know you work in the cityand you're doing your master's
program.
Like it's not fair to thekitten for us to come home and
be too exhausted to play withyou right now right, you know
that's true.
So we wanted a cat that justwanted to chill and she's too,
and she had just had kittens soshe was kind of low energy.
So Now she's she's got zoomiesnow.

(41:32):
So after like a week and a halfof having her and warming up to
us like she likes to play, butshe also likes to just fucking
chill on the couch with us.
That's just cool.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Yeah, just great.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
So and that was a very it was tough cuz I wanted
the kitten you know for sure?

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Yeah, for sure.
I think everybody like you.
See the kid, you go oh my god.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
They're just fun, you know I fuck around with them,
you know, you know they're funny.
I love them.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Um, but we already talked about it and we're like,
yeah, when we have more time onour hands, like I'm gonna get a
kitten.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you know justfor also, so she has someone to
play with too.
You know, the cats will keepeach other company and occupied
right.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
Yeah, I've kind of thought that about when I get a
house like Like I might likegetting like two dogs so they
can like entertain each other,right, a lot more work, a lot
more maintenance, I get it, butyeah, but it's, it's not fair.
And then I didn't really thinkabout this when I got buddy,
like cuz I I really know muchabout, you know dog breeds, and
then things like that, like Iknew I just I really just picked

(42:33):
him because he was a puppy.
We got him.
He was two months old, so he was, he was, he's just a little
baby and right but I didn't know, I didn't stop and think like,
oh, this type of dog Requires alot of energy.
And I was, you know, I wasgoing to school and then I was
working after school and Then,and then I was like hanging out

(42:54):
with friends after that.
So I was, I was really neverhome, right.
So I do feel bad because, likehe, it really kind of fell on my
parents to take care of themyeah, yeah and I didn't really
think about it.
I'm like I want a dog.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
I want a dog, but that's like I don't realize how
much work goes.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
No, it's like any kid who says that they want a dog
and the parents are likeapprehensive about getting the
dog.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
It's because they know it's gonna fall on them for
sure.
Yeah, absolutely I'll do it.
Yeah, I'll do it.
It's like I'll take care of mypromise, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Yeah, no, no, no, you don't do.
Yeah, and I'm like I likeTaking for a walk, you know like
here and there, but yeah, butbetween Between school and
working at GQ and hanging outwith friends, yeah, no, I was
actually take care of the dogs.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Why so attached?

Speaker 2 (43:40):
your mom.
Oh, yeah, that's yeah.
He does not leave my mom's sideright, yeah, follows her around
the house everywhere, yeah, andso yeah, but it's uh, it's nice
having the the animal with usagain.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
It's nice coming home to that being excited about it.
You know it's the, therelationship, the bond, yeah,
yeah, the two months without ananimal and after all that it was
pretty brutal for me, whichkind of led to the Smoking in
the playing video games, whichis exactly what happened last
year when I lost Bubba andpeople were like damn, you're
gonna lose two cats in a yearapart and I'm like you know, I'm
fucked up right now.

(44:14):
I'll be honest, sure, and I getlike super attached, like I'm a
very emotional person, as youknow, and I know you are as well
yeah, more so than most Men inthis society actually to the
point where people like made funof me for it growing up for
sure.
I'm like too sensitive.
Yes, I am, you know, and, like,I used to think it was Like a

(44:36):
curse or whatever.
I used to think I used to thinkit was a negative thing.
But that's just like how, manor, you know we can go into an
entire conversation about howmen are raised in this country
and how, how bad it is for ouremotional health and shit like
that.
We can do a whole podcast aboutthat.
But oh, hundred percent, wedon't have to at this point.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
No no, no, we'll kind of save that for another day,
right for sure.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah, but still being like extremely sent,
sentimental, sensitive andemotional and stuff.
I get very attached to thingsright and At least it does a
little better with stuff likethis.
You know she was pretty wreckedwhen we lost him, but man, I
got hit way harder for sure.
Yeah, I was fucked up.
Yeah, I was crying a lot.
I'm growing ass man Justfucking balling down for sure

(45:23):
Can't, dude, it's fucked.
And yeah, he was.
Uh, you know you're taking careof a special needs cat, shit
like that and so the two monthsit was brutal.
You try and drown out thosefeelings as much as you can.
And I was talking to Reba lastnight, who's one of our friends,
and I was just telling herabout everybody asked me how the
podcast is going.

(45:44):
Yeah, everybody asked me thatit's cool, it's great.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
But for the two months that I wasn't doing
anything, I'm like, oh fuck,please don't ask me that I was
kind of salty about it because Iwasn't facing what I was going
through.
You know, and I'm doing likealmost like a wellness podcast
chaser dreams type shit and Icouldn't do any episodes the
last two months because I feltdisingenuine or unauthentic and

(46:12):
I was talking about this withwith Reba.
I'm like I'm going through someshit right now, but my podcast
is about telling people thatit's okay that you're going
through shit.
It's okay that you have likethese bad habits or whatever's
in your past.
Like you can get through that.
And I'm not doing that.
So I don't feel like I couldcome up here and talk to

(46:32):
everybody and she goes no,that's like when you do it and
I'm like you know, I'm two weekswithout the smoking.
Right so we're sitting here.
You asked me to do the episode.
I'm like all right, I gottafucking do this you know, yeah,
let's just do it For sure I willdo another episode where I get
into my own personal thoughts ofwhat happened in the last two
months, but I appreciate youasking to come on here.

(46:54):
I feel like we both got a lotoff our chest today.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Oh, for sure, and we kind of yeah, it's kind of, I
think, why that's the big reasonwhy I kind of wanted to do it,
because the last couple ofmonths has been kind of rough
for both of us For sure.
We kind of both had our ownlittle setbacks on things and we
kind of both needed to air itout a little bit and get it out.
Yeah, get it out there, causeyeah, just yeah, bottling it
obviously is never the answer.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
No, it's not, fuck no .

Speaker 2 (47:20):
But also I can also get it when it's fresh.
You need some time to processit.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Before you can go, talk about it, right you?

Speaker 1 (47:28):
know it'd be different if I was just trying
to heal from it.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
You know.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
That's one thing, cause not a lot of people are
doing a podcast or a writer.
Not a lot of people areinfluencers or trying to be or
like what I'm doing.
So it's one thing to like healfrom something like in your case
or like if Lisa's going throughshit or other people like.
It's one thing to just like getthrough something and heal.

(47:53):
It's another thing to heal anddo that and then find a way to
articulate it and talk about it.
Yeah, it's very difficult.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'svery difficult, for sure, but I
didn't want to just keep puttingout fucking like episodes and
not talking about it.
I didn't want to, like I said,I just felt disingenuine on

(48:14):
authentic.
I'm like I'm trying to be thisthing and help people and I
can't even help my fucking self,Right you know?
So I've been watching a lot ofmy Hero.
Yeah, I started watching TokyoGhoul.
There you go All right, yeah,Comfort shows.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
Yeah, you gotta get back to the roots.
You know you gotta get back toit.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
So you know, like I said, we've had a rough couple
months Whenever I get off of abad habit, and this was supposed
to be the idea for the secondbook called the Hierarchy of
Habits.
You know, it's like areplacement system for replacing
your habits in order to get ridof the bad ones and start doing

(48:52):
the good ones right.
Yeah, and sometimes you gottafind like neutral ones, ones
that can be good and ones thatyou can control a little bit but
might still be bad, you know,I'd say like binge watching TV
or video game.
Binge playing video games can bea negative thing, but they are
my hobbies right.
And for the last two years Ihaven't really binged anime.

(49:14):
I've, you know, kept it indistance.
I'll watch my episodes of mynew shows, you know, but it's
been a while since I'll like 10,15 episodes in a day you know
it's been a while.
So, and to get off of thesecigars and shit, instead of
playing the video games, I'mlike you know what, I just gotta
watch something.
So I started watching my Heroto just try and like pump me up

(49:35):
in any way she could I mean it'sdefinitely worked.
I'll tell you that much forsure.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
Sometimes you just need that little that you get to
get the message.
Watch a show to get the message.
Yeah yeah, you need to kind ofspark that Something.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Motivation yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
And yeah, that's yeah .
In Tokyo Goal was.
Tokyo Goal was the first animethat I watched, that I think
that I really kind of that.
I had a character like therewas a message to the show that I
really relayed to my life for akind of yeah, there's multiple
aspects of that show where I sawsomething and somebody around
like oh, you know, I can relateto that or okay, he's yeah, he's

(50:11):
seen, he's gone through similarto what I've gone through.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Right, resonates with you.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
Yeah, yeah really resonated with me.
So, yeah, that kind of yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
I needed that yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, so I try to stay away from.
I try to stay away from thevideo games which I, as you know
, I don't really.
I used to play video games, butit's been a long time.
I don't really play video gameslike that anymore, but I was
never really like crazy about it, but I was never really like
crazy into gaming, yeah, yeah,but but yeah, the anime is

(50:42):
definitely one of those thingswhere I kind of can catch myself
getting very caught up in it,Right, yeah, and it's once you
know how to like put the brakeson it, though right like we used
to watch a lot you know, and itwas like the free and most of
the time when we started we werestill like smoking and partying
and stuff, but we loved binginganime right, and then as we

(51:05):
like, started changing our livesfor the better.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
We still use the anime like binging you know,
fill the time and like we said,like you know, inspire us and
shit like that, right, and then,once we had our really healthy
routines down, you know we wereable to, like put the brakes on
on a little bit, you know.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
Yeah, you kind of sprinkle it in because, like you
said, it breaks up the monotonyof your day and just you kind
of need something, needsomething to kind of, yeah, like
take away from you knoweverything that's gone on your
day.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
If any tough day you need it.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
The mundane, yeah, yeah so now we kind of need that
but also, at the same time,letting it not eat up your
entire day or like let it justlike take away from you know the
habits you've built and thingslike that so.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
Yeah, so it's nice to like watch that again.
I haven't like rewatched myhero all the way through like
this.
I don't think I have either,now that I think about it.
So obviously we're current onit.
There have been times where Irewatched the first season and
saw some episodes here and there.
If Lisa was rewatching it Onetime, Shawn and I rewatched the

(52:12):
first season together, and sothis is the first time I've
watched the whole thing through.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
Yeah, sat down and gone through it again.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
So I have 25 more episodes, and then I'm current.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Oh, so you're like yeah.
So you're like oh my God, I'mfucking there.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
So 113 episodes.
Yeah, that sounds about right,yeah, in like two a little over,
maybe two to three.
So three weeks, yeah, threeweeks, 110 episodes, you know.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
Yeah, you're good.
Yeah, I went in on it.
Yeah, you did go in on it.
Yeah, sure, the other one Ireally wanna like sit down and
go through again, which I don'tknow when they're gonna start
the show back up.
But Black Clover, that'sdefinitely the one I want.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
You know, there's news that they're gonna and then
it gets pushed back.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
Then it gets pushed back, you know.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
The manga's still coming out, so that's always a
good sign.
Blue Exorcist is coming out.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Oh, I remember that With another season.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
Yeah, Blue Exorcist is coming back out Attack on
Titan next month.
Oh my God yeah that one that's.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
That was my favorite anime of all time for sure,
attack on Titan.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Yeah, yeah, that's mine.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
But yeah, but obviously I gotta see how it
finishes.
But yeah, I'd say, yeah, that'sgotta be my.
I think I've rewatched that.
I think three times, like to,not until this point.
I think that was like the firstthree seasons.
I've watched three times, yeah,a couple times, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Man, I can't tell you how many times I rewatched the
first season.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Oh, so good.
Yeah, so fucking good, that'sso good.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
Yeah, so to get myself obviously like pumped up
back into going to the gym orlike working out and hooping
again.
So you know, it's nice to likewatch these characters like
overcome these trials andtribulations and struggles,
especially like my hero, causeit's like people are trying to
be heroes you know, so it helpsto like see them get shredded

(54:06):
and like be like super strong,cause I've been telling Lisa for
like we've been dating foralmost three years now and we're
at breakfast and like God, Igotta get in shape, gotta get
shredded.
She goes, you've been sayingthis for like three years and
like I know I fucking want it.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
I've been saying it for three.
I've been saying it for like atleast three years.
I get really close.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
And then I don't know if something happens.
You know, like we were saying,like once you fall out of the
routine, I don't know.
You know, it's just tough.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Yeah, I got really really strict for a while.
I got really really strict fora while, but then I kind of I
did kind of ease up a little bit, but I'd always have my cheat
days, like like there was causefor all the time I was doing
keto.
I didn't have a single cheatday for like almost a year and
so, yeah, then I kind of startedreintroducing and so for the
last two years, like yeah, Iwould do like the, I would still

(54:53):
do my five days of like workingout, but then, yeah, that
Saturday or Sunday I'm like I'mdoing it, like I'm going to go
to breakfast and I'm going toorder a pizza.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
I want to slam.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
Yeah, I'm slamming, and so I just always knew that
by doing that, I was never goingto like I'm never going to by.
If I continue to do that, I'mnever going to have like a six
pack.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Like this is not going to happen.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
Which is fine, which is fine.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
But yeah, I don't really necessarily want a six
pack, I just want to be inbetter shape.

Speaker 2 (55:20):
I just want to be leaner, like that's.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
Yeah, I want to be more muscular, yeah, you know,
and that comes with lifting andI can hate lifting, yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
And I love, I love lifting, but I it's, for me it's
the cardio.
Yeah, like I.
Like I'll go like shoot aroundand play basketball Like I won't
play like threes, like threeslike you, but I go like I'll go
shoot around for 45 minutes orsomething like that.
But yeah, but like sitting onthe treadmill or stair climber,
like there's nothing more boring.
Yeah, oh my God, it's so boring.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
Yeah, I mean I could.
I could literally hoop for sixdays, seven days a week.
Yeah, If I could hoop everysingle fucking day like I'd just
do that.
Yeah, you know, but my body isnot able to handle the hardwood
floor like that Like my kneesjust can't do that, you know.
So, I have to find a way inorder to make lifting, not even

(56:14):
fun but you know like a priority.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
You know, like I said , I got to start taking care of
my knee, which is likeplyometrics and other type of
just like training and thatstuff.
You know.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
What about, like how, aesthetics type of training?
Yeah, that too, yeah, so likeyeah, like, I know what you're
saying.
Like to get more muscular.
Yeah, it is like lifting isgoing to be the big one to you
know, build muscle, but like,even you know, some type of like
body weight exercises andthings like that can build
muscle, but it probably won'tget you like very like stocky,

(56:47):
Like kind of like that.
But you'll definitely get.
You'll definitely get strongerright by calisthenics and body
weight training, stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Yeah, and that's what I was doing a little bit with,
like the weighted vest and stuff.
So I introduced that and I wasjust doing fucking mad pushups
all day.
You know, I was doing madpushups, planks and squats with
that 12 pound weighted vest on.
Oh dude that's cool, and I wasdoing that for a month and then
and then, like you know, loupassed away and like all hell

(57:15):
broke loose and I just startedsmoking again.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
So I still have the weighted vest.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
I got to get back into that, you know.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
Yeah, I've got a.
I snagged a pull up bar for myparents house and I kept saying
I was like, yeah, I'm going todo pull ups every day, Nah, Nah.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
It's tough, it's tough.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
Like they really are.
Like no, I can only knock outlike five at a time.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Just like.
But I try to like, you know Ido like five and then like wait
a couple of minutes and do fivemore, two more, yeah, but it's
tough.
Yeah, that's it's.
Yeah, I respect.
Yeah, I respect it.
I used to see kids.
I used to see kids I went toschool with and knock out like
20, 25 and just like you are outof your mind Like.
I don't know how people do.
I don't know how people can dothat.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Yeah, me and Joe had a competition at the beach when
we were camping.
I think we both maxed out atlike 15.
That's even, that's yeah.
And he's 10 pounds lighter thanme too, and I'm like but he has
no arm strength.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
No, he's got nothing.
No, he's got no muscle.
He's got no muscle.
No, like muscle, like size atall, like he's just, he's about
as lean as lean gets.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
Yeah, I mean six, one that's about as lean as he can
be.
Oh for sure.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
Cause he's what like a buck 50.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
Yeah, something like that.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
Oh, yeah, six, one, one, 50.
Yeah, that's right, I mean I'mfive, nine, five, 10, and I'm
like 180, 175, 180.
I got up to like.
I got up to like 190, 195, likelike three weeks ago.
And that was, and that's when Iwas like oh fuck.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
That's when I was like.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
I gotta get that, yeah.
So I was like I gotta startgetting close again.
Yeah, yeah, dude, I was never,I'm never gonna.
I told myself, I was nevergonna see 200 pounds again.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
That's a good goal though.
Yeah, I mean like that's justunacceptable.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
That's unacceptable.
That's just unacceptable.
Like, yeah, cause they've beenseeing like two.
Like when I first startedseeing like 250, I was like get
the fuck out of here Are youkidding me 250?

Speaker 1 (59:04):
At five nine five, 10 .
Yeah, five nine five, 10.
Yeah, 250.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
And that's not like a like oh you're yolk 250 or like
a muscular 250.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
It's like nah, bro, that's some like 37% body fat
fat fuck type shit Like that'snot dude, that's not me.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
That's not me, I'm not gonna be that every no dude.
That was that's.
That was tough.
Yeah, that was tough to see.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Yeah, I think I'm sitting at like 163 because I
went to the doctor a few weeksago.
I usually fluctuate betweenlike 160 and 165 now.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
Yeah, usually I'm around 170.
Like, I'm usually aroundanywhere from like 175 to 185,
but I try to get more.
I want to get down to like 170.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
I'd like to be 175.
I like 10 pounds of muscle, youknow but, it just comes with
like the eating yeah, andfucking hate Loading up on food.
I hate, overeating and lifting,because that's how you build
muscle, I love right, hate it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
I love that cuz I get tired though.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Yeah, that's, the over eating part makes me tired
and the problem is when I comehome from work, or now, if I
have to get on another book, ifI got a right, if I got to do
the podcast, if I have otherthings to do outside of my
full-time fucking job, I can'tjust gorge yourself.
Gorge myself and like put onweight working out right,
because the only way throughthat is, in my opinion, to drink

(01:00:31):
some like coffee or caffeine.
Yeah, for sure like some peoplecan comment on this like no,
it's all willpower, no, yougotta do willpower, it's all
mental, you could do it.
And I'm like that's not fun,though, right, life isn't like
fun like that.
Yeah you know, I don't.
I don't want to be so roboticLike that where it's like I have
to force and push myself everyaspect of the day, because then

(01:00:52):
you get like burned out.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
Yeah for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
And then I implode and I'm like, yeah, there's
nothing, there's nothing youlook forward.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
There's nothing you look forward to.
There's no like, there's noexcitement.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
You're just I have to do this because I have to do.
Yeah, I have to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Yeah, that's nice.
It's such an easy thing to fallinto.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
Yeah, that's no way to live, though.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
No and I'm guilty, and I'm guilty of that.
Yeah, I mean, we've all beenthere.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Especially like with what we see on social media and
stuff and influencers like yougot to work out, save your money
, start businesses.
Oh, overwork, fucking overwork.
60, 70 hours a week.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
You gotta do it, Otherwise you're a lazy piece.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
Fuck off yeah like this yeah that's not toxic.

Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
It is dude and that's not how.
That's not how everybody needsto live.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
No, that's not that's not a life's about, no fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
And I think that's also helped in the last year of
me relaxing and kind ofrealizing like there's no point
in being successful if you don'tenjoy your fucking life right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Yeah, right, yeah, it's true.
No, if you're, if you'reprimary motivator of everything
that you do is success and likemoney or success, status and
shit like that Like no, you'reempty dude right, that's what
I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
Yeah, yeah, like it's .
And if you don't think you'reempty, you might find out in 10
to 20 years that you are in factempty.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
I hate when people genuinely say that that money is
happiness or money will bringyou happiness, and it's like
people confuse Money with likefreedom and choices.
That is not happiness.
Right Like money can.
Money can make your life easier.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Yeah, and it can open doors and it can alleviate your
anxiety about certain things,right, yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
but doesn't money does not.
Money does not bring money,does not truly bring purpose,
unless you're truly an emptyperson, like if if money was
some big words.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
You know, I'll stand by you on it, though.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
Yeah, yeah, it's but like, but like, but let's.
Let's look at it like this likeif money actually did bring
happiness, why would rich peoplekill themselves?
Look at Robin will.
Robin Williams, robin Williams,prime example.
Yeah, one of the one of themost famous comedians of all
time.
Like revered, loved, likeeverything that you could need,

(01:03:02):
or like anything that, like mostpeople dream of.
Like more money than you'd everwant right all the status, all
the love he was depressed for.
He was depressed for, like mostof his life right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
I mean, he had a lot of like mental illness problems,
but he was also extremelyfucking successful right at the
same time.
Yeah.
And to the people that are likewell, you got all that money,
you should just be happy then.

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
Right doesn't fix everything, he's right, you know
right, like, and I'm sure, andI'm sure in his mind he probably
thought that to himself waslike, oh, I'm, I'm not happy and
so I want to be successful andthis will make me happy.
Like, obviously I'm, obviouslyI'm speculating, but I feel like
that's for sure a lot of whatpeople think.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
There we go, like if I can have all this money, then
I'll be okay.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Yeah, then I can pay my, then I can pay away my
problems right and figure it outthrough money, and it's always
be there.
Yeah, yeah it goes Truly makeshappy as Having people in your
life that you care, that youcare about and love about right
love yeah that's, that's what'll, that's what'll make you truly
like, truly happy and having apurpose right.

Speaker 1 (01:04:07):
Yeah, having a purpose is big.
Yeah, even if it is to be withthe people that you love you
know, surround yourself withthose people or to have like a
dream, chase it.
You know hobbies like justenjoying life, right?

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
you know yeah because if you're yeah, if you're if
you're working 90 hours, ifyou're working 90 hours a week,
you're like, I'm sorry you, evenif you're even 90 hours a week
doing something you enjoy, it'sa lot, that's a lot.
Yeah that's gonna take it,that's that's also gonna take it
all on you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
Yeah, I mean it's just all subjective at that, or
I mean, if those people want towork like that, you know, like,
then, after, like trying to getin.
It's like the music industryand stuff.
Like there are some people thatgenuinely love Producing music,
making music and music and shitlike that.
Like there are producers outthere that'll spend like 80

(01:04:56):
Hours a week like making beats.
Right, like, if they're makingbeats they're happy.
Yeah, they're.
They sleep and they wake up andmake beats.
You know, that's fucking whatthey do, you know right, they're
not even in it for the money.
They just literally enjoy makingbeats, or I mean I'm enjoyed
writing raps, you know, right,right.
But those people found joy intheir hobby right Now, working

(01:05:19):
the 80 or 90 hours a week justfor fucking money, and I'm like
now that's, that's a littledifferent.
Yeah, cuz your your battery isgonna run dry after.
Yeah, yeah for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
No, that's not sustained, that's not
sustainable.

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
No, that isn't sustainable.

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
No but if you ask anybody, who, who does, who does
work like that, even doingsomething they enjoy, you're
gonna ask them what they're,what truly, what truly makes
them happy.
That's always, I feel like mostpeople will always turn to.
Like my wife, my children, like, you know, my family, this and
that right now I feel likethey're not gonna say like, oh,

(01:05:53):
it's my job, my beats, mywhatever.
Yeah whatever it is, I feel like.
So they're always gonna ask.
When you ask somebody whatthey're proud of, I feel like
those turn to their family morethan how much money they make or
, for sure, like the status oftheir job or whatever.
Yeah, yeah yeah, when you're,yeah, when you're.
When you're, let's say, lightslike the whole you know, like on

(01:06:13):
your deathbed and somebody's,and like nobody talks about how
much money you made or what youdid For a living.
You're now surrounded by yourfamily for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
So in those moments, yeah, so.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Yeah, and this is obviously not to say don't go,
try to make money, that's notwhat this talk is like.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
Chase your dreams and don't chase your dreams.
I think there needs to be ahealthy balance of Appreciating
the people in your life yeah,and also appreciating your own,
like drive and ambition, forsure you know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
Yeah, to balance for everything, yeah because, yeah,
obviously, obviously makingmoney does does Give you a lot
of freedom and choice.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
Yeah, an opportunity and opportunity.
Yeah, we're not gonna not saythat right, right, yeah, but
they just can't be your primarymotivator and I and I catch that
I've been there I've also beenthere and I feel like you burned
out.

Speaker 2 (01:07:01):
Yeah, and that's kind of, and I feel like that's kind
of the mindset I've been in forthe last couple of years.
Few years are like everythingthat I've done, I kind of always
set a goal for myself.
It's like I'm gonna do whateverI can, to you know, make six
figures by the time I turn 30.
And now I've kind of as I was.
I'm kind of like a few yearsinto it, I'm kind of just like
why?

(01:07:21):
Why that's a great goal and allbut like outside, like there's
other things to you know strivefor right.
So it's just like that was myone Primary thing and I kind of
sacrifice and I feel like Isacrificed a lot of things to
have that goal, yeah, and so nowyou're asking yourself, you're
reflecting on it, you're likeyeah, damn Is that what I really

(01:07:41):
want.
Right?
Is that truly?
Is that truly gonna bring mepurpose?

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
or joy or joy or anything, anything yeah like, is
that?

Speaker 2 (01:07:50):
truly gonna get me to where I feel like I need to be
right, and I think thosereflective moments happen after
the burnout.

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
Yeah, for sure in there too yeah and I think we're
having like this conversation,obviously because of it right
right, yeah, and that's kind ofthat's right.

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
Then that's where the kind of couple of months has
kind of been tough for me,because that's been a big thing.
On my mind is, well, like thisjob, I know like the next steps
from this job can get me to thatgoal, but now I'm saying, like,
do I, is that even the goalthat I want, right?
So, yeah, it's, it's been, yeah, it's been a very trying couple
of months mentally andemotionally and I feel that,

(01:08:25):
yeah, so yeah, let's just yeah,it's I need.
Yeah.
So that's why I needed to kindof get this out.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
Yeah, appreciate it.
Yeah, and I had some shit I hadto get get off my chest as well
.
Yeah, I think we did a Maybedid a good job.

Speaker 2 (01:08:41):
No, I like this.
No, this was a good.
This was a good one, goodepisode yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
Do you have anything else you you want to touch on
now?

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
No for this.
For this one now, I think I'vekind of kind of said everything
I needed to say.
But yeah, I don't know whatkind of talk about another one.
I know you're talking earlierabout the, the emotional life,
talking about the societalaspect of like.
Like men being a man yeah thatwould kind of be one I'd like to

(01:09:10):
like to be a part of yeah, yeah, yeah I think we're kind of
both both very similar in thatregard, so I feel like we can
kind of touch on that for awhile.

Speaker 1 (01:09:19):
Yeah, yeah yeah, we'll plan it and then we'll hit
that one up next time for sure,yeah, um, but yeah.
I think we did a really goodjob.
This time is the first episodeback in a few months.
Um, appreciate you coming outanytime, man.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um first episode that weactually record here in the new
studio other than the videocalls.

(01:09:40):
So, um, follow my pages.
I don't know, fucking.
Watch the video.

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
Listen, I don't give a fuck what you do, do something
, do just anything as anythingman.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
Yeah, I mean support.
Yeah, support the show.
If you want I don't know, tellyour friends, I don't give a
fuck, just live a good life.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
Take some of the shit we've been talking about.
I was gonna say hopefully,hopefully got something out of
what we were talking about.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
That's sure, whatever , whatever, it is right, that
was the purpose.
So, uh, yeah, I appreciateeverybody coming out.
Uh, stay up and feel free.

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