Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hey there,
this is mike and you're listening to feeling twisty.
Yeah,
I'm really glad you're here,
I'm really glad I'm here,
kim and I have been packing all evening uh for our vacation,
we're taking a week's vacation in new york city,
a city I've flown over but never actually visited until now.
(00:24):
We're so excited.
It's been a really long time since I've done an episode,
hasn't it?
I hope you found something useful in my previous episodes.
But what I would love most of all is to hear that you've realized you don't need to listen to me,
(00:45):
you don't need feeling twisty or anyone really,
anyone seemingly on the outside of you.
I imagine you telling me how you stopped selling yourself short and I'm imagining celebrating with you as you tell me how you found God,
(01:05):
you found God to be not something separate from you but your very self,
not God,
in a mystical sense of vague ooey gooey feelings,
but realize God is the one listening to my voice right now,
(01:28):
I'm imagining that for you,
realization of self,
I want you to find you and trust yourself implicitly.
Oh,
I know,
jeez,
that was one of the hardest things to do.
It was still a little easier for me when I thought of imagination or consciousness as some powered slightly separate from me,
(01:55):
you know,
that's handling everything but to find there is nothing else,
no one else.
Oh wow,
there isn't a bit of information that any coach could tell you that isn't already within you,
but you don't trust yourself enough.
(02:16):
You think this or that coach or this or that podcast host knows more than you and you trust the seeming others more than you trust your own self,
your inner being.
Isn't that funny that we we put our faith in a person we've never actually touched,
never shaken their hand or even hugged them.
(02:38):
They're just an image on a screen or a voice in the earbuds.
We'd rather put our faith in what they have to say rather than listen to the one inside of us screaming for us to wake up.
I have a podcast and I should recommend you listen to me more often.
(03:00):
Maybe recommend other coaches or coaches and teachers and I have done that in the past and certainly quote neville.
Goddard.
But what good is any of that?
If you're not truly turning to yourself,
if you're still going to facebook or instagram daily hourly to find a fix for your life to see what others are saying,
(03:25):
you're not trusting yourself.
What I recommend is stopping all of it.
Stop reading neville,
stop listening to neville.
Stop listening to others.
Read neville stop checking in on manifesting groups,
stop listening to me.
No,
say it ain't.
So turn me off and do something fun,
(03:50):
something different than staring at a painting,
hoping for dollars or love.
Turn away from everything outside of you.
Everything.
Even neville even neville based groups and teachers.
Shut it all off,
every bit of it.
A complete blackout.
(04:13):
Put every question you have to yourself.
Everything is within you.
It comes from you.
It seems to be separate.
Oh,
darn it.
I wish I could blame them.
But this is coming from me.
Every answer to every question you can come up with is already here in.
(04:39):
You turn to me and I will answer and I'll show you unser chewable things.
That's in the book of Jeremiah verse chapter three verse 33.
It's all threes turn to me and I will answer.
I'll show you unser chewable things.
(04:59):
Who's talking their awareness,
your own consciousness,
your own self saying.
Listen,
turn to me.
I will answer you.
It's automatic.
It's you.
It's an automatic response.
If you just allow yourself to be open to the answers.
(05:26):
There's nothing wrong with listening to what others have to share.
I mean,
what's the point of me recording this episode?
I'm talking about breaking that little need.
Oh and I had it bad to rely on what others say.
Mine was mainly for neville.
I was addicted to listening to neville every day.
(05:47):
I can't tell you the last time I've listened to a neville lecture.
Turn to yourself.
I know it seems crazy.
It was frightening for me to shut it all down every time.
I do more and more layers,
peel back things that have been terrifying and beautiful at the same time.
(06:18):
You are so much more than you think.
You are so much more than what others have told you.
You Need No one.
You have everything within you.
The first time I went cold turkey on listening to neville.
(06:40):
Uh and neville based groups.
I just shut it all down.
It felt so strange.
It was so uncomfortable.
I had developed a dependency on neville's lectures and teachings like that.
And for the first few days I found myself habitually reaching for the audio files,
just like I used to reach for packs of cigarettes that were no longer around when I quit smoking.
(07:04):
There are many things that neville talked about all of these experiences and I believed him,
but I craved my own first hand experiences.
I asked my deeper self to peel back layers,
unfold more for me.
And boy things started unfolding there.
I was having these wonderful experiences like I asked for,
(07:27):
but then I found myself doubting them,
Doubting the only one I can really trust.
Isn't that strange?
That need.
I had to What does neville say about this?
What does this person say about that?
I had this experience.
What does that mean,
jeez mike,
(07:47):
you asked for it.
You're getting it.
Trust yourself.
I know this sounds maybe simple.
Too simple.
I'm telling you It works.
You're turning to yourself.
You're turning to God if you'd rather say it that way.
(08:08):
But don't you dare think of it as something outside of you,
not separate at all.
It's you turn to the one being,
you can trust completely and then the answer started pouring in and they may not come from mystical experiences.
The answers come from all around you all the time,
(08:29):
the universe is constantly answering you.
That's all it is.
It's a call and response.
The response is based on your call your consciousness.
You have these experiences like the promises neville taught and many,
many other things.
You have no doubts,
(08:52):
no more having to rely on what others say you're having.
First person experiences that will blow your mind,
it'll blow your rational mind for sure and you don't need to run off and meditate.
I know that seems fun,
but if all things are coming from you,
(09:12):
all things exist in the imagination and consciousness,
what are you hiding from?
Where do you where are you running off to to get away from what?
It's all you I know that urge to run and get quiet when people are you know,
they're popping off,
they're starting to talk their shit and then you feel like your thoughts are about to run wild and maybe some actions Then you have that urge to run off and get quiet,
(09:40):
count to 10,
you know,
be still and all that.
But if it's all coming from you,
even them popping off is coming from you.
If it's all coming from you,
where is there to hide really?
(10:00):
You don't need to do formal meditation to reach higher levels of awareness.
Why bother doing that when you're not aware of the present moment and that's where all the beauty is this eternal.
Now look,
I'm talking to you but this is me.
I was mr worried about yesterday,
regretting yesterday and worried about tomorrow and completely oblivious to the beautiful present moment.
(10:24):
I've missed out on many wonderful conversations and experiences because I was lost in my head.
I gotta keep imagining for this.
Wait,
wait,
wait,
I can't focus,
I can't have fun here,
I gotta keep Oh crap!
I had thought I had thought about losing money.
Oh shit!
Now I have a thought about losing my family.
What now I gotta go.
Let me let me go to the bathroom real quick reset.
(10:51):
The more you rely completely on self for what neville would call revelations or discoveries,
the more yourself reveals to you and you may or may not experience a moment of complete aloneness,
a dark and desperate feeling of having absolutely no one to call on to help you,
(11:17):
No one at all the loneliest feeling in the world.
Then that moment of torment seems to unbearable becomes something so beautiful as the reality of that overtakes you.
There's No one else,
No 1 to turn to itself and that's the way it's always been.
(11:45):
Now you may not have exactly that experience and I really talk about my experiences like that on here because well they're mine and what I experienced may not be anything like what you experience.
So I'm not going to,
you know,
(12:05):
I know others do.
I don't want to share my experiences and then make anyone think that there's has to be the same way or even get into arguments with anyone.
Well you shouldn't have had that,
this means this,
wow,
that's why I keep it to myself,
(12:25):
because that's that's who they're for myself,
I will tell you,
I know I have no doubts that each one of us all come to the final destination seemingly at different times,
but all at once all now,
all awakening to who we really are,
(12:50):
at least who we really are from this point of view.
Hm We all get to the same destination in our own wonderful way,
taking our own lovely paths.
What's the point of expanding through our experiences if we have to do it all the same way or use the same language or geez,
(13:14):
doesn't that get old?
So someone thinks what you enjoy doing is crazy and they say that's that doesn't work.
You're wasting your time.
Well,
let them go on their way,
wasting their time,
judging you while you go on living your own special kind of bad a saree being you,
(13:41):
I found the beauty of now all around me to be just as overwhelmingly beautiful as what we call mystical experiences to be completely present and engaged in a moment,
whether it's with another or alone is one of the most profound experiences Try it instead of letting your thoughts run wild.
(14:13):
Thinking about tomorrow,
just drop them,
just drop them,
be still and be fully attentive to what's going on right in front of you around.
You notice the moment,
(14:36):
be aware of everything around you or just the person in front of you.
But be here be now,
I'm telling you this is where it is.
Don't miss out on the moment you created for the sake of worrying about a moment that has not happened yet.
(15:00):
Everything is already here within your imagination,
your consciousness,
you're not manifesting anything,
pulling it out of somewhere,
It's here in this eternal now.
And if you could just stop insisting that you don't have it,
you'll see it and experience it.
(15:25):
It seems so natural.
It's habitual to wake up in the morning and start probing my current state of affairs,
reminding myself of problems that only keeps showing up because I insist they're still there when I get up in the morning.
If you could just allow yourself to let go of whatever the problem or wish is uh don't try to brainwash yourself or pretend it doesn't exist.
(15:54):
You can't pretend anyway,
You can't fool yourself but just allow yourself to be open to something different right now and you know what dropping yesterday and tomorrow and just being present in this moment fully present in this person you're talking to looking at their eyes,
(16:17):
looking at the shape of their lips and their cheeks noticing how the breeze blows through their hair noticing this moment.
Mm Now that's something different then kind of being in the moment.
(16:38):
But really mostly thinking about you're imaginable state or doing the right thing later imagining the right thing.
Mm These you know,
neville talks about mental diets and inner conversations.
I found that those inner conversations get a lot easier and aren't so troublesome when I just be present and be now right now.
(17:10):
Mhm allow yourself to be open to something different.
I know this might sound overused by other teachers but now is where the magic happens now is all there is and now this now the moment you're experiencing is yours there isn't a tomorrow or yesterday except for what you choose to imagine it to be you form,
(17:48):
you mold what you call tomorrow by what you're assuming feeling now,
what you're imagining now about yourself and your world and I know it's hard like no I gotta keep dealing with this problem.
No you don't man those freaking problems there some of them are like you know bad infections.
(18:10):
They just don't go away because I get up every morning and rip the scab off of it open the wound the more you rely on yourself,
the less you need to have to search for answers online or in groups then you realize that your awareness God consciousness imagination that you are,
(18:39):
that you are reality and all of these experiences or experiences springing from your own being and you don't have to do anything special to manifest something,
but just decide what you want.
Just the side it's done.
(19:00):
Oh,
that's hard.
I'm telling you when I started really realizing that how much work I put into this,
it was,
I would,
you know,
decide something,
okay,
it's done.
But no,
wait,
wait,
wait,
wait,
I need to I don't think that worked.
I need I need to do more,
I need to come up with a scene and I need to no man,
(19:24):
that's not living.
If you're having to do that every day and you can't just decide something and live and lift balls out.
Just live.
I remind myself of that too.
Sometimes I'll holler at myself.
I think people think I'm crazy walking through walmart and I'll say live mic live,
(19:49):
get out of your head and freaking live live.
That was one of the hardest things for me to get over.
Surely there's more involved.
I can't just decide a thing.
Come on,
(20:09):
hmm,
you our God,
you are the author director,
you're playing all the parts,
you are the author,
you're the one with the pin in the hand and the script and the other,
(20:34):
you were writing your story.
No one else's,
you always have the final edit and nothing's ever final until you say it is let go of judgment of yourself,
(20:54):
Oh,
stop judging yourself and stop condemning yourself.
Or not imagining the right thing or not being full on all day long.
So you had a thought.
A thought popped through your head about failing.
Yeah,
I have plenty of those.
Yeah,
they're just thoughts.
(21:17):
Hmm.
Stop condemning yourself for not doing it like this teacher or or like feeling twisty.
Get to know the only one that really matters in this universe and that's the owner of the universe,
(21:37):
huh?
That's you.
You're beautiful,
gorgeous.
Holy,
magnificent,
infinite self.
I'm glad I'm back.
I love you.
(21:58):
I'm feeling twisty.