January 18, 2023 • 42 mins
On this episode I am joined by Jillian Bice. Jillian is a personal growth mentor and is the CEO of Quantum Lifestyle Consulting. She is a former registered nurse and sales trainer, and backed by decades of knowledge of human potential and growth, she facilitates a 6 month online course called Thinking Into Results, taught by Bob Proctor of the Proctor Gallagher Institute.
We talk about how Jillian had reached a place in her life where she was burned out and it took her version of rock bottom before she decided that she had to make a change and started on her journey to create a different path and was inspired to help others as well. She works on helping others clarify their goals, understand what controls your results and then to take action to get to where you want to go.
Jillian Bice | PERSONAL GROWTH MENTOR (@quantumlifestyleconsulting) • Instagram photos and videos
Coming Soon (dynamitelifestyle.com)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the filled up cuppodcast.
We are a different kind ofself-care resource one that has
nothing to do with bubble bathsand face masks and everything to
do with rediscovering yourself.
We bring you real reviews,honest experiences and
unfiltered opinions that willmake you laugh, cry, and most
(00:21):
importantly, leave you with afilled up cup.
Ashley (00:33):
I am very excited.
I have Jillian Bice joining me.
Jillian is a CEO mindset mentor.
Her business is quantumlifestyle consulting.
Thank you so much for joining metonight.
Jillian (00:44):
Thank you so much for having me, Ashley.
I'm really happy to be here.
Ashley (00:47):
Can you tell everybody what quantum lifestyle
consulting is?
Jillian (00:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I am a mindset mentor.
And what that means is that Ihelp people, particularly women
who are sort of in midlife.
I help them figure out wherethey are, where they want to be.
What's holding them back.
What's blocking them what theirlimit.
(01:13):
What's keeping them stuck and Ihelp them move through that.
the name quantum in quantumlifestyle consulting is the
concept of taking a quantumleap.
You know, when you hear aboutquantum physics, the theory of
quantum leaps is that you aregoing from one place, like a
particle goes from one place toanother, with the least amount
of energy and in the quickesttime possible.
(01:34):
So that is the concept in ourlives that is your objective is
to take quantum leaps.
I mean, ideally you're able toget where you want to be with
the least.
Energy expenditure.
I don't mean like in terms ofbeing lazy, but I mean, in terms
of being smart with how you'reusing your energy and getting
there in the quickest timepossible.
Ashley (01:54):
I think that we have this myth that when we get to a
certain point that we're gonnahave it all figured out and it's
like, we'll be quote, unquote,grownups, which I don't know
that we a hundred percent alwaysfeel like we have it figured
out.
And then it's like this idea ofwhat do we actually wanna do?
What do we wanna spend our timewith?
(02:14):
Especially if you've got to thepoint where maybe you chose a
career that you don't reallylove, or you have kids and maybe
they're moving out and gettingto actually plan what you want
to do.
Jillian (02:25):
exactly.
The cool thing about that andthe good news is you can do
anything.
You can literally do anythingwithin the bounds of nature,
obviously, but you can doanything.
I always tell clients that.
The resources are there, theopportunities are there, the
potential, is there the onlything that's stopping you is
(02:47):
you, so everything else is inplace.
Sometimes people will say, well,I don't know about that.
I don't see the resources.
Where's the money gonna comefrom?
Let's say to open my ownbusiness or to travel around the
world, or not believing you'vegot the potential, but those
three things are always there.
The opportunity, the resources,the potential, the thing that's
stopping you is you..
And when I say that aboutresources or opportunities being
(03:07):
there, I think everybody canthink of a time where they have
taken a step out and donesomething they were afraid to
do, or they've had aconversation with somebody.
So if I just give an example,let's say okay, here's a great
example, actually, that'shappening right now.
My daughter is going away touniversity in Europe and she's
going to be staying in a townthat I've never heard of.
(03:29):
In the beginning, you think,okay, this is a big deal.
How's that gonna work out?
And it seems like every time Italk to somebody, somebody says
to me, oh my God, that's sofunny.
My friend lives in that townevery year, she spends three
months in the summer.
She can hook you up with allthese people.
And then somebody else said, oh,I'm gonna be over there.
The resources, you don't oftensee them when you're thinking
about an idea, but when you takethat first step or when you
start having conversationsaround it, then stuff.
(03:52):
Comes outta the woodwork wherepeople will say things like, oh,
that's so interesting.
I used to do that.
Or I have a friend that's donethat, or I can introduce you to
this person, but if you didn'ttake that first step and start
having those conversations, thenall those resources that are
kind of out there lurkingaround, you would never ever
know about.
So you have to trust the factthat the resources are all
(04:13):
there.
You just need to start takingaction.
And they will start to show up.
There's limitless opportunitiesin the world.
I don't mean this, like an, apie in the sky way.
They are out there.
I'll often say to clients aswell, if they have a big goal
that they're afraid to go after,because it seems like it.
Crazy.
I was talking to a womanrecently who wants to quit her
job and start her own business.
(04:34):
She wants to open a flower shopand she was thinking, you know,
this is nuts.
How am I gonna afford this?
And how my friends are gonnathink I'm crazy.
And I couldn't do that.
And I'm too old and all thatstuff.
I said to her, and I say this topeople often, if you can see
anybody else has done thisthing, that's proof to you.
It's not impossible.
Right.
You can do this.
(04:55):
So.
The biggest thing.
When I say the only thing that'sholding you back is you.
That is that voice in your head.
And this is the mindset piece.
This is the piece that I workwith with people.
It's that voice in your head?
It's in our subconscious, it'syour paradigm.
It's your self image.
It's your beliefs.
It's like your programming.
If you're considering yourselfto be like an iPhone, It's that
voice whose job is to keep youin the comfort zone.
(05:18):
It's that voice that says you'retoo old.
What are people gonna think?
You can't do that to yourfamily?
What are your friends gonna say?
How are you gonna afford to dothat?
You start to retreat back andyour dreams, and then another
year goes by damnit.
I still wanna do that thing.
I still wanna open that flowershop or move to Europe or
(05:38):
whatever it is, right.
That voice in your head thatholds you back don't let the
word programming freak you out.
Cause it's not like programmingprogramming brainwashy, but it's
the way it's just sort of thebest word to use.
It's the way we're conditioned.
We have these beliefs about whatwe're able to do and their just
beliefs and beliefs can bechanged.
That's the part that I work onwith people and help them change
those beliefs and is a way ofdoing it so that you are able to
(06:01):
go out and do the things.
You really want to do?
Ashley (06:05):
How would you recommend if somebody is like, okay, I
feel stuck.
I know what I'm doing.
I don't wanna do, how do theyfind what they do wanna do and
get inspired in that way?
Jillian (06:20):
That's a really good question because sometimes
people know and oftentimes theyhave no idea.
All they are starting with isjust this feeling of something
under the surface.
It's just yearning to come outand they just just know they're
unhappy.
They know their feelings.
Stuck they're they're feelingrudderless.
(06:41):
I always use that word becauseyou're kind of going around in
circles, not knowing.
So in the program that I mentorpeople through, it's a six month
program and the first two weeksis actually spent on looking at.
What it is you really want to doand peeling back all the layers,
because like I say, oftentimespeople don't know or they might
think they know, but after yougo through this two weeks of
(07:02):
peeling back layers, yourealize, wow, it's really this
other thing.
That's really big.
That's buried deep down insideme.
Sometimes I'll say to people, ifthey don't know what it is,
They're really stuck with comingup with that, then we'll start
with, well, what don't you want?
You know, so if you imagineyou're like in a year, from now
(07:22):
or two years from now, yourideal life, what does that look
like?
Sometimes people say, I have noidea, so we'll just start with
what don't you want it to belike?
And they'll say, you know, oh, Idon't wanna be in this job
anymore.
I don't wanna.
Living in this communityanymore, or I don't wanna be, I
don't wanna be this sort offitness level.
So you can start from theopposite and kind of narrow it
(07:44):
down that way as well.
it is the absolute fundamentalkey starting point to know what
it is that you want and tofigure out what that is.
It's just like GPS in a car.
You've gotta plug in thelocation, your destination.
And then you gotta get movingtowards it.
That's so key.
Just get in your car and startto drive, because if you plug in
(08:07):
the address and you sit there,you're not gonna ever get there.
Right.
You've gotta plug in to yourmind there's lots of different
ways of doing it and lock in onthat destination of where you
want to go.
We all have this thing insideus, this yearning for this thing
that we're meant to be thisthing that we're meant to do.
It's like what your purpose isor your passion is right.
(08:30):
Once you lock into that and youkind of become laser focused on
that, you can base all yourdecisions around getting there.
So when you're going throughyour day, you're thinking, is
this conversation gonna.
Serve me.
It's gonna get me closer to mygoal is taking this job, gonna
get me closer to the goal.
Is this relationship with thisperson getting me closer to the
(08:52):
goal once you know what thatdestination is, that's just so
important to you.
Everything will start to lineup.
You just choose the way youthink and you behave to get you
towards that destination.
But like I say taking action isabsolutely paramount.
Ashley (09:07):
It's like we have this fear of failure or this fear of,
what if I don't figure it out orwhatever the case might be.
And I think it's the mostimportant thing is just to try.
I think we have this myth thatwe have to be one special thing
or one special passion.
We really can, find joy in thisexperience and then in that
(09:29):
experience.
So I think it's also, we getthis mindset of it has to just
be this one thing where we can,you know, do a job for 20 years.
We can travel for.
Two years and then find adifferent job.
We can always be learning andexperiencing.
Jillian (09:47):
Absolutely.
And that in itself can be a goalthat my goal is to follow my
nose essentially, is to do whatI want to do.
And if that means that nextyear, I want to go.
Traveling around the world or itmeans I want to open a flower
shop.
Awesome.
That's what I'm going to do.
So my goal is to do what I wantto do.
(10:08):
That can be a goal.
you would make it sort of morespecific than that, but that can
be absolutely a goal.
I am a huge advocate for, and Icall it following your nose and
that's trusting your gut we allknow what that feels like,
because we've all done that incertain times of our life, where
you've gone with your instinct,with your gut.
If you think about the momentyou're born, you have unlimited
(10:31):
potential and you still haveunlimited potential as an adult,
but over the years from the timeyou're born going through your
childhood and your teenage yearsand your adulthood.
Layers and layers ofconditioning get put on you is
habits.
It's beliefs, whether it'spolitical beliefs, religious
beliefs, culture, beliefs,whatever they are.
And self-image, self-image, youknow, what you think about
(10:52):
yourself, how you feel aboutyourself and that's from
experiences you've had growingup and all those habits,
beliefs, self-image kind ofpicture it like, like these
blankets that are getting piledup on top of your unlimited
potential.
That unlimited potential, neverever goes away.
It just gets kind of buried inall this stuff.
When you were just saying nowabout you know, if you wanted to
(11:12):
do a certain thing and you kindof feel afraid to do it, that is
the voice in the head that, andonce you go through like the
program that I facilitate, forexample, or any kind of mindset
awareness, you start tounderstand, oh, that's that
voice, and that voice has beeninstalled in there through
conditioning, right?
Like if you're growing up, ifyou're told don't talk to
(11:33):
strangers, which is probably agood thing to be told when
you're growing up.
Right.
Or anything that you're toldgrowing up, you're told like
politically that anyone thatbelieves in that, political
party is a jerk and these guysare all great.
You get these beliefs installedin you, but they're just
beliefs.
When you have a fear that comesup, that you're afraid to do
something that is a beliefthat's been installed and it can
(11:53):
be replaced.
It can be replaced with adifferent belief around that.
That is a way to deal with fearthat comes up and fear comes up
all the time for people.
Fear is a really, really goodthing.
And I say, it's good because itis a sign that you are growing
out of your comfort zone.
You are trying to expand.
(12:14):
If you stay in your comfortzone, the risk of doing that is
you'll get to the end of yourdays and you'll look back and
you'll say, damnit, why didn't Itake that trip around the world
when I was like 45 or 50 orwhatever, why didn't I open that
flower shop?
I could have done it.
And now I can't, I could havedone it damnit like you do not
want to get to the end of yourdays and look back and just
(12:34):
think I could have done that.
I wish I'd done that.
Once you understand that thatfear that you feel is just a
belief that's installed in thereover years, then you start to
understand, okay.
So if that got put in there andit gets put in there through
repetition, you know, you hearthe same things over and over
again, you start to believethem.
(12:54):
You can replace it with the samething with repetition of the
opposite thing.
I'm courageous.
I can do anything.
I can do this.
I can travel around the world.
You install a new belief andit's kinda like you push out
your place, the old belief, thelimiting belief
Ashley (13:09):
aside from sort of replacing that negative voice
with a positive one.
What are some other ways that wecan shift our mindset to make it
so that you're excited to makechanges instead of hesitant to
make them
Jillian (13:24):
so really key with the excited about making the change
is that, that beginning piecewhere you are identifying, what
is it that I really want?
Once you identify that, How do Ireally want my life to look and
that's in all levels, you know,relationships, finance, career,
health, and fitness.
(13:44):
How do I spend my time?
What is my lifestyle?
Over that two week period,you'll come out with a script
it's like a, script of, it'slike your goal script of how do
you want your life to be on allthose different levels?
When you've put that much workinto really drilling down and
identifying what that is, youcan't help, but be excited about
it.
It's just like you get this firein your belly and you're really
(14:06):
excited about it.
So that's sort of your beginningpart.
But then you've gotta do all thework on the replacing the
limiting beliefs.
And that's what starts to comeup next.
So when you identify what it isyou want, and you've got this
full color picture, one of thekey things to do is to distill
that down to a little briefparagraph that you read every
(14:26):
day I have mine on recording.
I listen to it all the time, soit keeps it top of mind and it
really gets sort of stuck intoyou.
You start your day with that,thinking about it and
visualizing it.
When I say the piece abouttaking action, being so key, it
is so true that you know,visualizing is great.
(14:47):
It's awesome.
It's super important.
But if you don't take action,then you're not gonna get
anywhere.
It's not gonna come flyingthrough the window at you, but
when you are.
In that head space of the lifethat you want of what your goal
is, and you're really sort ofsoaking in it.
You're really getting in thefeeling of it.
You will start to get ideas thatare on that wavelength, let's
(15:09):
say, right, that are on thatfrequency.
They're in that.
But if you're thinking from lackand limitation, if you're
thinking like I couldn't dothis, I could never do this.
You're probably not gonna gonnaget many ideas.
But when you're thinking, andyou're really feeling the
feeling of having that goal, andyou've got that excitement.
Ideas will start to come to you.
It's like inspired ideas willstart to come to you.
(15:31):
Those are the ideas to act on.
So let's say for example, if oneof my goals was to travel around
the world next year, let's say,and if I know exactly what it
looks like, I can see myself atthe airport.
I could see myself with my bags.
I can see myself with myitinerary and I'm flying on the
plane.
I'm landing in some place, ifyou really get into it.
When you get into that feelingof it let's say a thought comes
(15:52):
to my mind where I think tomyself oh, Hey, you know, I
should look into I rememberthere was a travel group that I
had heard about and they werelooking for guides and I should
reach out to them and see ifmaybe they need some guides,
because I've been to some partsof the world before that I
really love.
Maybe I could do that.
Like, that's kind of an inspiredidea.
So if I was sitting here on mycouch thinking, oh, I could
never travel around the world.
(16:13):
I don't know how I could do it.
It'll never happen for me.
It happens by the people about,for me, blah, blah.
I'll probably never get thatidea.
Like, Hey, contact this tourgroup and see if they need a
guide.
So that's what I mean aboutreally getting in the feeling of
how it would feel to be in thatplace, in that goal achieved.
And then ideas will come to youthat are in harmony with that
place.
And then you act on those ideasand you act on them right away,
(16:36):
or as quickly as you can, youget up and you pick up the
phone, you phone that companyand say, Hey, I remember reading
last year, you're looking fortravel guides.
Are you still looking for someor whatever it is, you'll also
be carried along that wave ofgood feeling too, when you're in
the, feeling of your goal, andit'll give you more courage than
if you were sitting on a couchthinking, oh, I can never do
(16:56):
this.
This will never happen for me.
You don't have a lot of courage,but when you're really like up
and into the feeling of yourgoal, you can take action more
easily and still scary, but it'seasier to do.
Ashley (17:07):
I think in some ways that's the piece, like from
years ago that booked the secretmm-hmm, sort of set people up
where they gave them half thetools where they were like
visualize and really, you know,narrow down what you want, but
it was kind of like, and thenyou sit around and it will just
come flying through, right.
That we really missed out on thestep of taking that action and
(17:27):
putting yourself in a positionof getting the opportunity you
want.
So like with your example, Sayyou go on the trip and then you
make the call of, oh, Hey, I'mhere.
Do you have any yeah.
Or looking at it as you know,I'm here and Hey, I know a
flight from my house to Italy isX amount of dollars, but if I'm
(17:50):
already in Europe, Hey, Iprobably could bop over there on
a ferry or a train or whateverfor half the price and giving
yourself situations where itdoesn't seem as hard as it would
be sitting on your couch.
Jillian (18:04):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
It's interesting, I'm glad youbrought up this secret too
Ashley, because there were somereally, really good parts to
that, but that's exactly right.
That extra piece about thetaking action wasn't as clear as
it could have been, there is areally important line in there
that a guy said, and I can'tremember what his name is now,
but.
His word was thoughts, becomethings.
(18:24):
You hear that often in thesecret and in other things too.
I remember when I heard that, Ithought, oh yeah, right.
And a lot of people thought, ohyeah, right.
But now that I understand how itworks, it's actually true,
except there's a couple steps inbetween.
So thoughts become things theway in the program that I
facilitate people through, youlearn how.
(18:47):
The simplest way to put it isyour thoughts in your mind cause
you to feel a certain way, whenyou feel a certain way, you
behave a certain way and youraction causes a result.
So you think a thought, you feela feeling, you take action.
From that feeling.
And that's the result you get.
A simple example would be, ifyou were, let's say you're going
(19:08):
into a meeting and there's abunch of people you've never met
before.
If you're thinking the thoughtof, oh my God, I hate meeting
new people I just feel souncomfortable.
I really don't like this andthat's the thought you're
thinking.
And then you start to feel afeeling.
You start to feel nervous.
You start to feel lack ofconfidence.
You start to feel uncomfortable,and then you go into that room.
And the action you take isprobably.
Not much eye contact, kind ofthat wet fish handshake.
(19:30):
You don't really have muchconversation.
That's your action.
And the result is gonna be, youknow, you didn't make any key
connections with yournetworking.
But on the opposite side, ifyou're the, oh yeah, awesome.
I gonna meet some new people.
I love meeting new people andthis is gonna be a great meeting
tonight.
There's some people I reallywanna connect with there.
So that's your thinking.
That makes you feel a certainway.
You're feeling in that scenariois you're feeling confident.
(19:52):
You're feeling excited, you'refeeling positive.
So that causes you to behave ina certain way.
Your feeling makes you behaveand your behavior in that case
is gonna be you've got a greathandshake.
You're having greatconversations and making lots of
connections.
So your result is you've madegreat connections and you've
made some new friends and yourbusiness might do better because
you've made these connections.
If it's a networking thing,right.
(20:12):
So that's a really simpleexample.
So thoughts to become things.
It happens in everything we doin life.
The one piece that needs to beadded in there as well in the
feeling side of things iseverything is also filtered
through that lens of our selfimage and our beliefs and our
habits, too, that paradigm thatI was talking about.
So that will also limit whatwe're able to do.
(20:32):
But you think a thought you feela feeling you take action from
that feeling, and then you getyour results.
Ashley (20:39):
Which I love how simple that you made that seem.
Mm-hmm because I think it is oneof those things that when we
hear thoughts become things, weoverthink it or we
overcomplicate it.
I feel like more often than not,people are so hesitant to ask
for more information or to seekit out because that ego gets in
the way.
And then we're afraid that we'regonna seem stupid or we worry
(20:59):
about other people.
I love the fact that it can beas simple as like, whether it's
positive or negative.
It's I think it, I feel it.
And then it goes from there.
So I really, you take action.
Yeah.
I think that putting it intothose terms makes it so much
easier to understand, and forpeople to actually.
Make the choice, cuz I feel likewhen we decide we're gonna do
something, whether it's good orbad, it's almost walking through
(21:22):
it in an experiential way.
How is this gonna look for me?
What's this experience gonna belike?
I feel like it helps us decide,you know, almost like a risk
reward thing.
Is this gonna be worth steppingoutta my comfort zone to try
this new situation?
Or am I going to.
Be too scared or bomb this orwhatever it is, and I'm just
(21:44):
gonna stay in my comfort zone.
So I think it really does help,you know, put that mindset into
perspective.
Although my advice would alwaysbe, you know, take the leap and
try it no matter what, becauseNo is not as scary as I think we
try to make it out to be
Jillian (21:58):
mm-hmm Absolutely.
the resources that come intointo play, when you take that
leap, you would never have knownwere there if you hadn't done
that and they are out there andwhat's the worst thing that can
happen.
Right.
It comes down to, again, youknow, you're looking back in
your life and you're thinking,damn it, why didn't I do that
when I could have done that?
The cool thing about this, youthink it, you feel it, you act
(22:18):
it, you get the result is thatyou are.
Completely in the driver's seatof your thoughts.
We are all in charge of ourthoughts.
Nobody can make you think acertain way.
So we are really in the driver'sseat, but we run kind of on this
default all the time.
We just are habitual beings andour habits aren't always serving
us.
Like, if you're a procrastinatoror whatever it is, right.
(22:40):
We kind of run on autopilot andwe are often controlled by
what's going on in the outsideworld as well.
You see something on the news oryou hear somebody say something
or you read something and thatstuff going on in the outside
makes you feel a certain way,which makes you act a certain
way, which gives you yourresult.
I said at someone the other day,I love this analogy.
It was like, if you've got dialon your heart and if you turn
(23:02):
the dial up, you feel good.
You turn the dial down, youdon't feel so good.
You want to be the person who isin charge of that dial on your
heart.
So when you are thinking yourthoughts yourself, when you're
in charge of your thinking, Youare turning that dial up or
down.
Like if I'm thinking about mygoal, it's like that dial is
going up and I'm feeling reallygood.
And if I choose to thinksomething really depressing,
(23:24):
then my dial's gonna go down.
But if somebody says somethingto you, or if you read something
or hear something on the news,and if that makes you feel
badly, it's like that person,like if somebody cuts you off in
traffic and gives you thefinger, let's say, and that can
make you feel really frustratedor angry.
It's like that person's reachedin and put their hand on your
(23:44):
dial and they've turned yourdial down and they've caused you
to feel a certain way, which isgonna make you behave a certain
way, which is gonna give you acertain result.
Right?
So what you want to do is bealways be in charge of that
dial.
Even if someone cuts you off andgives you the finger or whatever
they do, that's fine.
That's a fact.
And if you can keep that as justa simple fact, but you just
protect your dial.
(24:06):
Don't let that person turn yourdial down and make you feel a
certain way and act a certainway and like chase after them
and whatever, and swear at them,you stay in charge of your own
dial and you're respondinginstead of reacting.
So always keeping in mind andit's easier said than done for
sure.
But keeping in mind that you arealways in charge of your
thoughts, but we just run ondefault all the time.
It's just the way we are ashumans, cuz we're busy.
(24:26):
So we just sort of default toour habits.
And our typical behaviors.
When you look at the think,feel, act, get your result.
When I work with people, whenyou set your goal, which is the
result you want, we reverseengineer.
And by that, I mean, if this iswhat your goal is, so let's say
it's a health and fitness goal.
That's something that mostpeople can relate to as well.
(24:48):
So I want to exercise five timesa week.
I want my weight to be this.
I want my fitness to be thislevel.
So if you're looking at that asyour goal, so you're reverse
engineer, you go back to okay.
If I am that, how have Ibehaved?
So I've probably behaved thisway.
I've gone to the gym, I've eatenthis way or whatever.
If I behave that way, what was Ifeeling in order to make me
(25:09):
behave that way?
And from the feeling piece,going back to the beginning,
what thoughts did?
I think that made me feel thatway.
So the thoughts that you thinkthat make you feel that way,
that make you behave the waythat gives you that outcome of
your health and fitness.
So you just go through that samechain, thoughts, feelings,
actions, result, but you gothrough it backwards.
(25:30):
Okay.
So my result, I want this, howdid I behave to get there?
How did I feel to make thatbehavior?
What thoughts did I think tomake me feel that way?
And so you go through a wholeprocess of putting that together
and that's kind of in a nutshellof how the process flows.
So there's some in depth stepsin between there as well, like
with the feeling part and theself image.
Ashley (25:51):
I like looking at it from different perspectives and
looking at it sort of from the,end goal backwards, because I
think too, we do talk ourselvesinto things being more
overwhelming or more complicatedthan they need to be.
That sometimes it really istaking it down to like more
simplistic mm-hmm that it's likeit can be, I sleep eight hours a
(26:16):
night.
I.
Try to eat more vegetables.
I try to drink more water.
I, find a different wayI likemoving my body and really factor
into that feeling and sort of aneasy thought process instead of
it having to be like one to ahundred and making it seem very
overwhelming.
Jillian (26:34):
Yeah, absolutely.
That is so key too, Ashley, thatit is super simpler.
The concept is so, so basic.
We do like to try and complicatethings, but we don't need to, it
is such a simple concept.
It's not something that happensovernight.
When people come into myprogram, I, Only bring in people
who are committed, who are superserious.
(26:58):
It's not somebody who says,well, you know, I'm kind of,
interested in this.
Yeah.
I'll take a look at this.
it's kinda waste of their timeto do it.
It's a waste of my time to doit.
If somebody is committed andthat's the person who is, like,
I am.
Done.
Another, year's gone by, I'mstill stuck in this place.
I'm still unhappy.
And especially in midlife, we'vegot chapters closing, we've got
(27:19):
empty nest, we've got divorce,we've got career changes.
We oftentimes have friends whoare getting serious illnesses or
we get them ourselves.
We've got friends who may evenbe dying and we are starting to
realize our mortality as well.
We're realizing the preciousnessand the finiteness of our lives.
There are a lot of people outthere who are at that point of
I'm done.
(27:39):
I am committed to making thischange.
Anybody can do this.
That's what I love about this aswell, is that it doesn't matter
how rich or poor, or how youngor old or educated or uneducated
or where you live.
I don't care what your backstoryis.
We are all as human beings withunlimited potential and a
yearning inside us to dosomething.
(28:00):
So if you have that commitmentand that desire, that you just
you can't keep it down anymore,but you don't know what to do
with it.
It's ideal for somebody likethat.
To actually do the work and thereward of having a meaningful
life is invaluable.
The other thing is that I thinkis really important to mention
is that when you are focusing onyourself and going after what it
(28:21):
is that you really want to do tohave a full life, it is good for
everybody in your world, yourfamily, your friends.
People that are important toyou.
It's good for everybody.
Everybody benefits it's not aselfish thing.
It is a good thing.
It's very, very good for you aswell.
as far as we know, you've gotyour one life to live here,
right?
So you owe it to yourself to dothe very best you can and to let
(28:44):
your yearnings out, figure outwhat they are and to, to let
them out
Ashley (28:49):
Once you.
Go down that path of like, Iwanna do whatever goal it is.
I'm determined.
I'm excited.
I love this.
As selfish as that mindset canbe in the moment, especially if
you're a parent that mommy guiltcomes in, whatever, I feel like
the positive side of it is socontagious and spreads to so
(29:09):
many people in your life thatit's like, not only are you
lifting yourself, but you alsohave the potential to lift other
people around you as well.
Mm-hmm and I do think it'sreally important.
We do also touch on the factthat, like you said, it's not
necessarily a speedy process.
Like you have to still bewilling to do the work and it
isn't just I have this greatidea.
(29:30):
Boom, I'm changed.
Like it's such a right.
Not straight path, but there isa lot of hard work that comes
into it.
Sometimes people get lost in thehard work or think that it's
gonna come easier change, takestime.
Jillian (29:45):
Yeah.
Change.
Definitely.
Time, dedication, commitment,deep desire.
But when you balance that andI've lived through all this
myself, I have been stuck.
I have been really stuck andthat's how I got involved in
this myself.
But when I weigh all the hardwork that I have done to get to
where I am through this process.
(30:06):
When I weigh that with where Iwas for years of being stuck, I
would take this a thousand timeswithout a doubt.
The other thing, you know, withmoms, with kids, when you are
living this way in a happy way,when you are.
Living the life that you aremeant to be living, you are role
(30:29):
modeling for your children.
A very positive thing, becausethe opposite of that is your
children learning that you haveto do.
What, other people expect ofyou, you know, stay in this job,
even though it's making younuts, you can't stand it or,
whatever the thing may be.
I don't mean that, with thetraveling around the world idea,
I don't mean ditch your kids andgo backpacking for year on your
(30:51):
own.
That's not what I mean at all.
I mean, if that's what you wannado, you can do it later in your
life because you've got aresponsibility to your children
a hundred percent.
But when you are showing yourchildren, That you can follow
the path that makes your heartfull.
When you are doing that, youwill be successful.
I dont just mean successfulmonetarily, I mean, successful
(31:13):
in your life, with yourhappiness and, when you're doing
that, that's a great thing tomodel for your children and your
happiness will fill their littlehearts as well.
Everybody that's in your life.
So I mean, there's nothing butgood that can come from this
because the opposite is thatfeeling of frustration,
rudderless, that life is passingyou by and you're not happy that
(31:35):
you're unhappy.
Ashley (31:37):
Can you explain a little bit more about the different
services that you offer anddifferent ways that people can
work with you??
Jillian (31:46):
It's one program that I facilitate people through and
the program is called thinkinginto results.
It's a program that I wentthrough as well, I had been
stuck.
for quite a few years.
It's the same story of, youknow, not happy with career, not
happy with relationship.
There were lots of things thatwere not right.
I was ignoring all of the yellowlights and ignoring all the red
(32:08):
lights and just sweeping thingsunder the carpet.
Another year would go by and I'dstill feel the same way.
I wasn't doing anything aboutit.
I finally had this rock bottommoment in the underground
parking at IGA at the grocerystore just before Christmas
time.
I had broken my leg.
I'd fallen off my bike and I wascrying cuz I had an argument
with my daughter and.
(32:30):
My marriage was so unhappy.
There was so much that waswrong.
We'd driven to IGA.
I drove her because she only hadher L and I had this cast on my
leg, but I just wanted to getoutta the house.
I looked like a complete messand we were in the park gate at
IGA and it's underground.
I said, you go upstairs.
I'm just gonna stay here in thecar.
I was just so upset and she gotupstairs and I thought, oh, darn
it.
I need cream for my coffee.
(32:51):
So I tried to phone her.
I couldn't get cell receptionand it had been raining.
So the parking was wet and Ithought, okay, if I get outta my
car with my phone, I can get tothat wall and I can get cell
reception and call her.
I look like a mess cause I'vebeen crying and my hair was
everywhere.
I had these crazy comfy clotheson because I was home with this
broken leg and I got outta thecar with my crutches and.
(33:13):
Looking like a mess and being sounhappy, like deeply unhappy in
so many different levels for solong in my life.
I was walking towards the wallto get cell reception and this
man walked past me and he lookedat me and in this flash across
his face, he had this look onhis face that said how pathetic?
That was the look when he lookedat me and I was like, somebody
punched me in the gut, cuz I wasalways proud of myself and my
(33:36):
appearance and whatever.
All of a sudden that moment Ithought to myself, I will never
ever let myself be here again.
Ever.
And when I heard myself say thatto myself, I'll never let myself
be here again.
It was like a light going onwhere I thought, okay, hang on.
I will never let myself be here.
That means that I let myself gethere.
(33:57):
That means that I'm responsiblefor where I am.
Oh my God.
If I made all these choices thathave brought me where I am, that
means I can choose my way out.
I can make all these decisions.
It was just the mostunbelievable.
It was like, literally like thesky opened up and the sun came
out and it was like, oh my God,like, stick me in the driver's
seat.
I'm driving myself out of thislife that I've gotten myself
into and I'm taking my girlswith me and everything changed
(34:20):
from that moment.
I pulled up my Oprah and myDeepak Chopra and all that
stuff, and I loved them, but Iknew I needed a deeper dive.
And I knew about Bob Proctor.
He was actually in the secret.
I loved him.
I followed him for years.
I knew he had this program.
So I looked into it and it's theprogram that I now facilitate
The six month program.
Cause I knew I needed a deepdive.
I really love the way he teachescuz he's very practical about
(34:42):
the thinking and the takingaction side so I took the
course, but I also knew at thebeginning of the course that
there was the opportunity to betrained, to be a facilitator as
well.
So I did that along with takingthe course.
I went to the training programas well to become a consultant
with the company.
And so went through the program,loved it so much, and my whole
life changed.
I got a divorce.
(35:03):
I sold our house.
We moved, I quit my job.
I started a business within ayear because I was so ready and
I understood how my mind worked.
I understood how my voice in myhead that's telling me, you
can't do this.
What are people gonna think?
Blah, blah, blah.
I learned how to quiet thatvoice.
I learned what that voice is andwhat its role is and how I can
(35:25):
pass it, how I can work towardswhat I really want.
So that's what I help peoplewith when they sign up for the
program in six months.
in a nutshell, how the programitself works six month program,
there are 12 modules.
Each module is two weeks eachand people do a discovery call.
Typically with me beforehand.
It's a free discovery call wherewe talk about where are you?
(35:47):
Where do you wanna be?
What do you think is holding youback?
Why is it important to you to bewhere you want to be?
Then I explain how I work withthe program and how I can help
people through to get from wherethey are to where they really
wanna be.
The program itself is all onlineand self-directed.
It's about an hour to an hourand a half a day for the six
(36:08):
months.
Every Monday I do a zoom meetingwith my clients and that zoom
meeting reviews.
We talk about that two weeklesson we have teaching and
every Wednesday I do a Q&A, sothere's two days a week where
you've got me on zoom for anhour each time.
The remainder of the time is upto you to do your hour to hour
and a half a day work.
(36:29):
That can be done at any timeduring the day that that suits
your schedule.
You gotta be pretty good atbeing independent at doing the
work in terms of your sort ofwork during the week.
But then the meetings are thattwice a week if somebody needs
to call me one on one, they cando that as well.
Ashley (36:42):
I like that.
It gives them the flexibility ofhaving the ownership of being
able to do it online, but willalso having the connection of
having an actual person so thatthey have that.
Accountability piece
Jillian (36:55):
totally.
And the accountability piece isso key for all of us.
I need to have somebody keep meaccountable too, because we're
human.
Right.
It's easy to slip sometimes.
So the accountability piece isreally important, but the other
piece I really love is when thezoom meetings are with the
group.
People learn from each other.
There's a certain kind of anenergy in that kind of a,
conversation where particularlywith the Q and A's on Wednesdays
(37:17):
where people are askingquestions that somebody else
might not have even thought of.
So they're learning from that.
There's just a different kind ofan energy with the group being
there and it also is really agreat feeling for people going
through the program when theycan see other people who are in
a similar situation as they are,and they can think, oh, yay.
Somebody else is stuck.
Just like me.
(37:38):
So I'm not so unusual or I'm notso abnormal.
Like there's other people whoare like me and that's so key to
have that feeling of community.
Right.
And it's nice to see peopleprogress through as well and to
see them doing well.
Ashley (37:50):
I think sometimes in our regular lives, if we make a
change to do something,sometimes that can be hard for
other people.
So I think that community piecewould be huge because you do
wanna feel supported.
Mm-hmm you do wanna feel likeyou're with the like-minded
people.
Jillian (38:04):
Yep.
Definitely definitely.
Something that, I had sort oftouched on earlier that I think
is really important when peopleare feeling like it's something
that they can't do, there's justno way that it's even possible.
They're too old or whatever itmay be.
When I say to them, but lookingat somebody else in their
community, and maybe not eventhe community could be on TV.
It could be in a book, whatever.
There are people out there whohave done the thing that you are
wanting to do without a doubt,there would be, unless it's
(38:27):
something like completely wild,like have your Elon Musk, you're
gonna go to Mars or somethinglike that, but otherwise, right.
There's somebody else who's doneit.
And that is proof for you.
The other thing that I havepeople do, and I've done this
myself and I love this and Istill do this is, and I'll
always do this.
I have a list of reallydifficult things that I have
gone through in my life.
You know, I like my dad dying,which was horrible and I'm a
(38:48):
cancer survivor.
That was horrible.
There are all these things.
I have a list of things that Ihave survived.
That were very challenging.
And every time I'm faced withsomething, now that I feel like,
oh my God, there's no way Icould do this.
How could I do this?
I look at that list and I think,oh, wow.
Yeah, that's right.
I survived this, I survivedthis.
This was really hard.
(39:09):
I survived that I can sure ashell, survived.
This thing that's coming up.
No problem at all.
Right.
So just a reminder to yourselfand just love that.
It's a reminder to yourself ofall the difficult things.
And we have all gone throughhard stuff.
All of us like.
Heartbreaking things or scarythings or terrifying, whatever
it is.
Right.
You've all gone through stuff.
So I highly recommend peoplejust write little bullet points
(39:31):
and I don't mean like take abath in it and be like, oh my
God, you know, like you're sortof admiring yourself in all this
stuff all the time with this badexperiences.
It's just like a little factualchecklist that you can look at
once in a while.
Like, oh yeah.
wow I'm really amazing.
I'm really strong.
I'm really resilient.
I am like really couragous I'vegone through all that.
I can sure as hell do this.
So that's a good little tip.
Ashley (39:52):
I love switching that mindset to it.
Instead of I suffered with thisit's I'm kick ass.
I managed to do X, Y and Z andreally give yourself that pat on
the back, give yourself thatgrace of like, I can do hard
things and I've done hardthings.
And, nothing's gonna break youdown to a point that you.
Maybe you can't get back upagain.
(40:13):
Like obviously there's differentcaveats to it, but for the most
part, like we're resilient, wecan get through hard things.
Jillian (40:19):
We are so resilient.
We're so resilient and keepingin mind also that there's this
sort of a thing called the lawof opposites.
It's this law of polarity it'scalled and, that there's an
opposite for everything.
We see that in our lives, likethings are going rhythms where
things seem be going really,really well.
And then sometimes days can justnot be going so well at all, but
then they go, well again, andthen sometimes they're not going
(40:40):
so well.
And then they go, well again,right.
That's just the way life is.
It's good to have the not sogreat moments too, because if
you did not have those, when youhave your good moments, you
would never ever realize theywere good moments because you'd
have nothing to compare them to.
Right.
So if you look at it that whereyou think like, okay, this is
like really bad, what I'm goingthrough right now, but thank God
it's here because a good thing'scoming.
When it gets here, I'll knowit's good because I'll know.
(41:02):
Compared to this it's it's theopposite, right?
So that's just part of life andthere are more hard times ahead,
but when you know how to framethem in your mind, it becomes
easier to manage them.
And when you understand thatthey're important because they
make you stronger.
(41:22):
Like when you look back at thelist of all the stuff you've
gone through, which will makeyou able to go through the next
scary stuff, therefore thosescary things have made you
strong.
Then you realize, yeah, thesehard times are good and they
will end.
They won't last forever.
Ashley (41:36):
I do think that's really important to remember, and I
think that life would be soboring.
If everything just went greatall the time, thank you so much
for having this conversationwith me tonight.
I really appreciate it.
Can you let everybody know wherethey can find you online?
Jillian (41:52):
Yes.
So my business is called quantumlifestyle consulting and quantum
is Q U A N T U M.
So quantum lifestyle consultingand I'm on Instagram at quantum
lifestyle consulting as well.
If anyone wants to book adiscovery call there's no charge
for that.
They go onto my website and theycan book there's a booking page
there and just pop onto thecalendar.
(42:12):
And then you just book a callthere.
I'd love to talk to you and findout what's on your mind and then
let you know how I work.
Then we just go from there.
Ashley (42:20):
Thank you so much.
Jillian (42:22):
Thank you so much, Ashley.
I really enjoyed talking to you.
Thank you so much for joining ustoday for this episode of the
filled up cup podcast, don'tforget to hit subscribe and
leave a review.
If you like what you hear, youcan also connect with
us@filledupcup.com.
Thanks again for tuning in andwe'll catch you in the next
(42:44):
episode.
Welcome to the filled up cuppodcast.
We are a different kind ofself-care resource one that has
nothing to do with bubble bathsand face masks and everything to
do with rediscovering yourself.
We bring you real reviews,honest experiences and
unfiltered opinions that willmake you laugh, cry, and most
(00:21):
importantly, leave you with afilled up cup.
Ashley (00:33):
I am very excited.
I have Jillian Bice joining me.
Jillian is a CEO mindset mentor.
Her business is quantumlifestyle consulting.
Thank you so much for joining metonight.
Jillian (00:44):
Thank you so much for having me, Ashley.
I'm really happy to be here.
Ashley (00:47):
Can you tell everybody what quantum lifestyle
consulting is?
Jillian (00:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I am a mindset mentor.
And what that means is that Ihelp people, particularly women
who are sort of in midlife.
I help them figure out wherethey are, where they want to be.
What's holding them back.
What's blocking them what theirlimit.
(01:13):
What's keeping them stuck and Ihelp them move through that.
the name quantum in quantumlifestyle consulting is the
concept of taking a quantumleap.
You know, when you hear aboutquantum physics, the theory of
quantum leaps is that you aregoing from one place, like a
particle goes from one place toanother, with the least amount
of energy and in the quickesttime possible.
(01:34):
So that is the concept in ourlives that is your objective is
to take quantum leaps.
I mean, ideally you're able toget where you want to be with
the least.
Energy expenditure.
I don't mean like in terms ofbeing lazy, but I mean, in terms
of being smart with how you'reusing your energy and getting
there in the quickest timepossible.
Ashley (01:54):
I think that we have this myth that when we get to a
certain point that we're gonnahave it all figured out and it's
like, we'll be quote, unquote,grownups, which I don't know
that we a hundred percent alwaysfeel like we have it figured
out.
And then it's like this idea ofwhat do we actually wanna do?
What do we wanna spend our timewith?
(02:14):
Especially if you've got to thepoint where maybe you chose a
career that you don't reallylove, or you have kids and maybe
they're moving out and gettingto actually plan what you want
to do.
Jillian (02:25):
exactly.
The cool thing about that andthe good news is you can do
anything.
You can literally do anythingwithin the bounds of nature,
obviously, but you can doanything.
I always tell clients that.
The resources are there, theopportunities are there, the
potential, is there the onlything that's stopping you is
(02:47):
you, so everything else is inplace.
Sometimes people will say, well,I don't know about that.
I don't see the resources.
Where's the money gonna comefrom?
Let's say to open my ownbusiness or to travel around the
world, or not believing you'vegot the potential, but those
three things are always there.
The opportunity, the resources,the potential, the thing that's
stopping you is you..
And when I say that aboutresources or opportunities being
(03:07):
there, I think everybody canthink of a time where they have
taken a step out and donesomething they were afraid to
do, or they've had aconversation with somebody.
So if I just give an example,let's say okay, here's a great
example, actually, that'shappening right now.
My daughter is going away touniversity in Europe and she's
going to be staying in a townthat I've never heard of.
(03:29):
In the beginning, you think,okay, this is a big deal.
How's that gonna work out?
And it seems like every time Italk to somebody, somebody says
to me, oh my God, that's sofunny.
My friend lives in that townevery year, she spends three
months in the summer.
She can hook you up with allthese people.
And then somebody else said, oh,I'm gonna be over there.
The resources, you don't oftensee them when you're thinking
about an idea, but when you takethat first step or when you
start having conversationsaround it, then stuff.
(03:52):
Comes outta the woodwork wherepeople will say things like, oh,
that's so interesting.
I used to do that.
Or I have a friend that's donethat, or I can introduce you to
this person, but if you didn'ttake that first step and start
having those conversations, thenall those resources that are
kind of out there lurkingaround, you would never ever
know about.
So you have to trust the factthat the resources are all
(04:13):
there.
You just need to start takingaction.
And they will start to show up.
There's limitless opportunitiesin the world.
I don't mean this, like an, apie in the sky way.
They are out there.
I'll often say to clients aswell, if they have a big goal
that they're afraid to go after,because it seems like it.
Crazy.
I was talking to a womanrecently who wants to quit her
job and start her own business.
(04:34):
She wants to open a flower shopand she was thinking, you know,
this is nuts.
How am I gonna afford this?
And how my friends are gonnathink I'm crazy.
And I couldn't do that.
And I'm too old and all thatstuff.
I said to her, and I say this topeople often, if you can see
anybody else has done thisthing, that's proof to you.
It's not impossible.
Right.
You can do this.
(04:55):
So.
The biggest thing.
When I say the only thing that'sholding you back is you.
That is that voice in your head.
And this is the mindset piece.
This is the piece that I workwith with people.
It's that voice in your head?
It's in our subconscious, it'syour paradigm.
It's your self image.
It's your beliefs.
It's like your programming.
If you're considering yourselfto be like an iPhone, It's that
voice whose job is to keep youin the comfort zone.
(05:18):
It's that voice that says you'retoo old.
What are people gonna think?
You can't do that to yourfamily?
What are your friends gonna say?
How are you gonna afford to dothat?
You start to retreat back andyour dreams, and then another
year goes by damnit.
I still wanna do that thing.
I still wanna open that flowershop or move to Europe or
(05:38):
whatever it is, right.
That voice in your head thatholds you back don't let the
word programming freak you out.
Cause it's not like programmingprogramming brainwashy, but it's
the way it's just sort of thebest word to use.
It's the way we're conditioned.
We have these beliefs about whatwe're able to do and their just
beliefs and beliefs can bechanged.
That's the part that I work onwith people and help them change
those beliefs and is a way ofdoing it so that you are able to
(06:01):
go out and do the things.
You really want to do?
Ashley (06:05):
How would you recommend if somebody is like, okay, I
feel stuck.
I know what I'm doing.
I don't wanna do, how do theyfind what they do wanna do and
get inspired in that way?
Jillian (06:20):
That's a really good question because sometimes
people know and oftentimes theyhave no idea.
All they are starting with isjust this feeling of something
under the surface.
It's just yearning to come outand they just just know they're
unhappy.
They know their feelings.
Stuck they're they're feelingrudderless.
(06:41):
I always use that word becauseyou're kind of going around in
circles, not knowing.
So in the program that I mentorpeople through, it's a six month
program and the first two weeksis actually spent on looking at.
What it is you really want to doand peeling back all the layers,
because like I say, oftentimespeople don't know or they might
think they know, but after yougo through this two weeks of
(07:02):
peeling back layers, yourealize, wow, it's really this
other thing.
That's really big.
That's buried deep down insideme.
Sometimes I'll say to people, ifthey don't know what it is,
They're really stuck with comingup with that, then we'll start
with, well, what don't you want?
You know, so if you imagineyou're like in a year, from now
(07:22):
or two years from now, yourideal life, what does that look
like?
Sometimes people say, I have noidea, so we'll just start with
what don't you want it to belike?
And they'll say, you know, oh, Idon't wanna be in this job
anymore.
I don't wanna.
Living in this communityanymore, or I don't wanna be, I
don't wanna be this sort offitness level.
So you can start from theopposite and kind of narrow it
(07:44):
down that way as well.
it is the absolute fundamentalkey starting point to know what
it is that you want and tofigure out what that is.
It's just like GPS in a car.
You've gotta plug in thelocation, your destination.
And then you gotta get movingtowards it.
That's so key.
Just get in your car and startto drive, because if you plug in
(08:07):
the address and you sit there,you're not gonna ever get there.
Right.
You've gotta plug in to yourmind there's lots of different
ways of doing it and lock in onthat destination of where you
want to go.
We all have this thing insideus, this yearning for this thing
that we're meant to be thisthing that we're meant to do.
It's like what your purpose isor your passion is right.
(08:30):
Once you lock into that and youkind of become laser focused on
that, you can base all yourdecisions around getting there.
So when you're going throughyour day, you're thinking, is
this conversation gonna.
Serve me.
It's gonna get me closer to mygoal is taking this job, gonna
get me closer to the goal.
Is this relationship with thisperson getting me closer to the
(08:52):
goal once you know what thatdestination is, that's just so
important to you.
Everything will start to lineup.
You just choose the way youthink and you behave to get you
towards that destination.
But like I say taking action isabsolutely paramount.
Ashley (09:07):
It's like we have this fear of failure or this fear of,
what if I don't figure it out orwhatever the case might be.
And I think it's the mostimportant thing is just to try.
I think we have this myth thatwe have to be one special thing
or one special passion.
We really can, find joy in thisexperience and then in that
(09:29):
experience.
So I think it's also, we getthis mindset of it has to just
be this one thing where we can,you know, do a job for 20 years.
We can travel for.
Two years and then find adifferent job.
We can always be learning andexperiencing.
Jillian (09:47):
Absolutely.
And that in itself can be a goalthat my goal is to follow my
nose essentially, is to do whatI want to do.
And if that means that nextyear, I want to go.
Traveling around the world or itmeans I want to open a flower
shop.
Awesome.
That's what I'm going to do.
So my goal is to do what I wantto do.
(10:08):
That can be a goal.
you would make it sort of morespecific than that, but that can
be absolutely a goal.
I am a huge advocate for, and Icall it following your nose and
that's trusting your gut we allknow what that feels like,
because we've all done that incertain times of our life, where
you've gone with your instinct,with your gut.
If you think about the momentyou're born, you have unlimited
(10:31):
potential and you still haveunlimited potential as an adult,
but over the years from the timeyou're born going through your
childhood and your teenage yearsand your adulthood.
Layers and layers ofconditioning get put on you is
habits.
It's beliefs, whether it'spolitical beliefs, religious
beliefs, culture, beliefs,whatever they are.
And self-image, self-image, youknow, what you think about
(10:52):
yourself, how you feel aboutyourself and that's from
experiences you've had growingup and all those habits,
beliefs, self-image kind ofpicture it like, like these
blankets that are getting piledup on top of your unlimited
potential.
That unlimited potential, neverever goes away.
It just gets kind of buried inall this stuff.
When you were just saying nowabout you know, if you wanted to
(11:12):
do a certain thing and you kindof feel afraid to do it, that is
the voice in the head that, andonce you go through like the
program that I facilitate, forexample, or any kind of mindset
awareness, you start tounderstand, oh, that's that
voice, and that voice has beeninstalled in there through
conditioning, right?
Like if you're growing up, ifyou're told don't talk to
(11:33):
strangers, which is probably agood thing to be told when
you're growing up.
Right.
Or anything that you're toldgrowing up, you're told like
politically that anyone thatbelieves in that, political
party is a jerk and these guysare all great.
You get these beliefs installedin you, but they're just
beliefs.
When you have a fear that comesup, that you're afraid to do
something that is a beliefthat's been installed and it can
(11:53):
be replaced.
It can be replaced with adifferent belief around that.
That is a way to deal with fearthat comes up and fear comes up
all the time for people.
Fear is a really, really goodthing.
And I say, it's good because itis a sign that you are growing
out of your comfort zone.
You are trying to expand.
(12:14):
If you stay in your comfortzone, the risk of doing that is
you'll get to the end of yourdays and you'll look back and
you'll say, damnit, why didn't Itake that trip around the world
when I was like 45 or 50 orwhatever, why didn't I open that
flower shop?
I could have done it.
And now I can't, I could havedone it damnit like you do not
want to get to the end of yourdays and look back and just
(12:34):
think I could have done that.
I wish I'd done that.
Once you understand that thatfear that you feel is just a
belief that's installed in thereover years, then you start to
understand, okay.
So if that got put in there andit gets put in there through
repetition, you know, you hearthe same things over and over
again, you start to believethem.
(12:54):
You can replace it with the samething with repetition of the
opposite thing.
I'm courageous.
I can do anything.
I can do this.
I can travel around the world.
You install a new belief andit's kinda like you push out
your place, the old belief, thelimiting belief
Ashley (13:09):
aside from sort of replacing that negative voice
with a positive one.
What are some other ways that wecan shift our mindset to make it
so that you're excited to makechanges instead of hesitant to
make them
Jillian (13:24):
so really key with the excited about making the change
is that, that beginning piecewhere you are identifying, what
is it that I really want?
Once you identify that, How do Ireally want my life to look and
that's in all levels, you know,relationships, finance, career,
health, and fitness.
(13:44):
How do I spend my time?
What is my lifestyle?
Over that two week period,you'll come out with a script
it's like a, script of, it'slike your goal script of how do
you want your life to be on allthose different levels?
When you've put that much workinto really drilling down and
identifying what that is, youcan't help, but be excited about
it.
It's just like you get this firein your belly and you're really
(14:06):
excited about it.
So that's sort of your beginningpart.
But then you've gotta do all thework on the replacing the
limiting beliefs.
And that's what starts to comeup next.
So when you identify what it isyou want, and you've got this
full color picture, one of thekey things to do is to distill
that down to a little briefparagraph that you read every
(14:26):
day I have mine on recording.
I listen to it all the time, soit keeps it top of mind and it
really gets sort of stuck intoyou.
You start your day with that,thinking about it and
visualizing it.
When I say the piece abouttaking action, being so key, it
is so true that you know,visualizing is great.
(14:47):
It's awesome.
It's super important.
But if you don't take action,then you're not gonna get
anywhere.
It's not gonna come flyingthrough the window at you, but
when you are.
In that head space of the lifethat you want of what your goal
is, and you're really sort ofsoaking in it.
You're really getting in thefeeling of it.
You will start to get ideas thatare on that wavelength, let's
(15:09):
say, right, that are on thatfrequency.
They're in that.
But if you're thinking from lackand limitation, if you're
thinking like I couldn't dothis, I could never do this.
You're probably not gonna gonnaget many ideas.
But when you're thinking, andyou're really feeling the
feeling of having that goal, andyou've got that excitement.
Ideas will start to come to you.
It's like inspired ideas willstart to come to you.
(15:31):
Those are the ideas to act on.
So let's say for example, if oneof my goals was to travel around
the world next year, let's say,and if I know exactly what it
looks like, I can see myself atthe airport.
I could see myself with my bags.
I can see myself with myitinerary and I'm flying on the
plane.
I'm landing in some place, ifyou really get into it.
When you get into that feelingof it let's say a thought comes
(15:52):
to my mind where I think tomyself oh, Hey, you know, I
should look into I rememberthere was a travel group that I
had heard about and they werelooking for guides and I should
reach out to them and see ifmaybe they need some guides,
because I've been to some partsof the world before that I
really love.
Maybe I could do that.
Like, that's kind of an inspiredidea.
So if I was sitting here on mycouch thinking, oh, I could
never travel around the world.
(16:13):
I don't know how I could do it.
It'll never happen for me.
It happens by the people about,for me, blah, blah.
I'll probably never get thatidea.
Like, Hey, contact this tourgroup and see if they need a
guide.
So that's what I mean aboutreally getting in the feeling of
how it would feel to be in thatplace, in that goal achieved.
And then ideas will come to youthat are in harmony with that
place.
And then you act on those ideasand you act on them right away,
(16:36):
or as quickly as you can, youget up and you pick up the
phone, you phone that companyand say, Hey, I remember reading
last year, you're looking fortravel guides.
Are you still looking for someor whatever it is, you'll also
be carried along that wave ofgood feeling too, when you're in
the, feeling of your goal, andit'll give you more courage than
if you were sitting on a couchthinking, oh, I can never do
(16:56):
this.
This will never happen for me.
You don't have a lot of courage,but when you're really like up
and into the feeling of yourgoal, you can take action more
easily and still scary, but it'seasier to do.
Ashley (17:07):
I think in some ways that's the piece, like from
years ago that booked the secretmm-hmm, sort of set people up
where they gave them half thetools where they were like
visualize and really, you know,narrow down what you want, but
it was kind of like, and thenyou sit around and it will just
come flying through, right.
That we really missed out on thestep of taking that action and
(17:27):
putting yourself in a positionof getting the opportunity you
want.
So like with your example, Sayyou go on the trip and then you
make the call of, oh, Hey, I'mhere.
Do you have any yeah.
Or looking at it as you know,I'm here and Hey, I know a
flight from my house to Italy isX amount of dollars, but if I'm
(17:50):
already in Europe, Hey, Iprobably could bop over there on
a ferry or a train or whateverfor half the price and giving
yourself situations where itdoesn't seem as hard as it would
be sitting on your couch.
Jillian (18:04):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
It's interesting, I'm glad youbrought up this secret too
Ashley, because there were somereally, really good parts to
that, but that's exactly right.
That extra piece about thetaking action wasn't as clear as
it could have been, there is areally important line in there
that a guy said, and I can'tremember what his name is now,
but.
His word was thoughts, becomethings.
(18:24):
You hear that often in thesecret and in other things too.
I remember when I heard that, Ithought, oh yeah, right.
And a lot of people thought, ohyeah, right.
But now that I understand how itworks, it's actually true,
except there's a couple steps inbetween.
So thoughts become things theway in the program that I
facilitate people through, youlearn how.
(18:47):
The simplest way to put it isyour thoughts in your mind cause
you to feel a certain way, whenyou feel a certain way, you
behave a certain way and youraction causes a result.
So you think a thought, you feela feeling, you take action.
From that feeling.
And that's the result you get.
A simple example would be, ifyou were, let's say you're going
(19:08):
into a meeting and there's abunch of people you've never met
before.
If you're thinking the thoughtof, oh my God, I hate meeting
new people I just feel souncomfortable.
I really don't like this andthat's the thought you're
thinking.
And then you start to feel afeeling.
You start to feel nervous.
You start to feel lack ofconfidence.
You start to feel uncomfortable,and then you go into that room.
And the action you take isprobably.
Not much eye contact, kind ofthat wet fish handshake.
(19:30):
You don't really have muchconversation.
That's your action.
And the result is gonna be, youknow, you didn't make any key
connections with yournetworking.
But on the opposite side, ifyou're the, oh yeah, awesome.
I gonna meet some new people.
I love meeting new people andthis is gonna be a great meeting
tonight.
There's some people I reallywanna connect with there.
So that's your thinking.
That makes you feel a certainway.
You're feeling in that scenariois you're feeling confident.
(19:52):
You're feeling excited, you'refeeling positive.
So that causes you to behave ina certain way.
Your feeling makes you behaveand your behavior in that case
is gonna be you've got a greathandshake.
You're having greatconversations and making lots of
connections.
So your result is you've madegreat connections and you've
made some new friends and yourbusiness might do better because
you've made these connections.
If it's a networking thing,right.
(20:12):
So that's a really simpleexample.
So thoughts to become things.
It happens in everything we doin life.
The one piece that needs to beadded in there as well in the
feeling side of things iseverything is also filtered
through that lens of our selfimage and our beliefs and our
habits, too, that paradigm thatI was talking about.
So that will also limit whatwe're able to do.
(20:32):
But you think a thought you feela feeling you take action from
that feeling, and then you getyour results.
Ashley (20:39):
Which I love how simple that you made that seem.
Mm-hmm because I think it is oneof those things that when we
hear thoughts become things, weoverthink it or we
overcomplicate it.
I feel like more often than not,people are so hesitant to ask
for more information or to seekit out because that ego gets in
the way.
And then we're afraid that we'regonna seem stupid or we worry
(20:59):
about other people.
I love the fact that it can beas simple as like, whether it's
positive or negative.
It's I think it, I feel it.
And then it goes from there.
So I really, you take action.
Yeah.
I think that putting it intothose terms makes it so much
easier to understand, and forpeople to actually.
Make the choice, cuz I feel likewhen we decide we're gonna do
something, whether it's good orbad, it's almost walking through
(21:22):
it in an experiential way.
How is this gonna look for me?
What's this experience gonna belike?
I feel like it helps us decide,you know, almost like a risk
reward thing.
Is this gonna be worth steppingoutta my comfort zone to try
this new situation?
Or am I going to.
Be too scared or bomb this orwhatever it is, and I'm just
(21:44):
gonna stay in my comfort zone.
So I think it really does help,you know, put that mindset into
perspective.
Although my advice would alwaysbe, you know, take the leap and
try it no matter what, becauseNo is not as scary as I think we
try to make it out to be
Jillian (21:58):
mm-hmm Absolutely.
the resources that come intointo play, when you take that
leap, you would never have knownwere there if you hadn't done
that and they are out there andwhat's the worst thing that can
happen.
Right.
It comes down to, again, youknow, you're looking back in
your life and you're thinking,damn it, why didn't I do that
when I could have done that?
The cool thing about this, youthink it, you feel it, you act
(22:18):
it, you get the result is thatyou are.
Completely in the driver's seatof your thoughts.
We are all in charge of ourthoughts.
Nobody can make you think acertain way.
So we are really in the driver'sseat, but we run kind of on this
default all the time.
We just are habitual beings andour habits aren't always serving
us.
Like, if you're a procrastinatoror whatever it is, right.
(22:40):
We kind of run on autopilot andwe are often controlled by
what's going on in the outsideworld as well.
You see something on the news oryou hear somebody say something
or you read something and thatstuff going on in the outside
makes you feel a certain way,which makes you act a certain
way, which gives you yourresult.
I said at someone the other day,I love this analogy.
It was like, if you've got dialon your heart and if you turn
(23:02):
the dial up, you feel good.
You turn the dial down, youdon't feel so good.
You want to be the person who isin charge of that dial on your
heart.
So when you are thinking yourthoughts yourself, when you're
in charge of your thinking, Youare turning that dial up or
down.
Like if I'm thinking about mygoal, it's like that dial is
going up and I'm feeling reallygood.
And if I choose to thinksomething really depressing,
(23:24):
then my dial's gonna go down.
But if somebody says somethingto you, or if you read something
or hear something on the news,and if that makes you feel
badly, it's like that person,like if somebody cuts you off in
traffic and gives you thefinger, let's say, and that can
make you feel really frustratedor angry.
It's like that person's reachedin and put their hand on your
(23:44):
dial and they've turned yourdial down and they've caused you
to feel a certain way, which isgonna make you behave a certain
way, which is gonna give you acertain result.
Right?
So what you want to do is bealways be in charge of that
dial.
Even if someone cuts you off andgives you the finger or whatever
they do, that's fine.
That's a fact.
And if you can keep that as justa simple fact, but you just
protect your dial.
(24:06):
Don't let that person turn yourdial down and make you feel a
certain way and act a certainway and like chase after them
and whatever, and swear at them,you stay in charge of your own
dial and you're respondinginstead of reacting.
So always keeping in mind andit's easier said than done for
sure.
But keeping in mind that you arealways in charge of your
thoughts, but we just run ondefault all the time.
It's just the way we are ashumans, cuz we're busy.
(24:26):
So we just sort of default toour habits.
And our typical behaviors.
When you look at the think,feel, act, get your result.
When I work with people, whenyou set your goal, which is the
result you want, we reverseengineer.
And by that, I mean, if this iswhat your goal is, so let's say
it's a health and fitness goal.
That's something that mostpeople can relate to as well.
(24:48):
So I want to exercise five timesa week.
I want my weight to be this.
I want my fitness to be thislevel.
So if you're looking at that asyour goal, so you're reverse
engineer, you go back to okay.
If I am that, how have Ibehaved?
So I've probably behaved thisway.
I've gone to the gym, I've eatenthis way or whatever.
If I behave that way, what was Ifeeling in order to make me
(25:09):
behave that way?
And from the feeling piece,going back to the beginning,
what thoughts did?
I think that made me feel thatway.
So the thoughts that you thinkthat make you feel that way,
that make you behave the waythat gives you that outcome of
your health and fitness.
So you just go through that samechain, thoughts, feelings,
actions, result, but you gothrough it backwards.
(25:30):
Okay.
So my result, I want this, howdid I behave to get there?
How did I feel to make thatbehavior?
What thoughts did I think tomake me feel that way?
And so you go through a wholeprocess of putting that together
and that's kind of in a nutshellof how the process flows.
So there's some in depth stepsin between there as well, like
with the feeling part and theself image.
Ashley (25:51):
I like looking at it from different perspectives and
looking at it sort of from the,end goal backwards, because I
think too, we do talk ourselvesinto things being more
overwhelming or more complicatedthan they need to be.
That sometimes it really istaking it down to like more
simplistic mm-hmm that it's likeit can be, I sleep eight hours a
(26:16):
night.
I.
Try to eat more vegetables.
I try to drink more water.
I, find a different wayI likemoving my body and really factor
into that feeling and sort of aneasy thought process instead of
it having to be like one to ahundred and making it seem very
overwhelming.
Jillian (26:34):
Yeah, absolutely.
That is so key too, Ashley, thatit is super simpler.
The concept is so, so basic.
We do like to try and complicatethings, but we don't need to, it
is such a simple concept.
It's not something that happensovernight.
When people come into myprogram, I, Only bring in people
who are committed, who are superserious.
(26:58):
It's not somebody who says,well, you know, I'm kind of,
interested in this.
Yeah.
I'll take a look at this.
it's kinda waste of their timeto do it.
It's a waste of my time to doit.
If somebody is committed andthat's the person who is, like,
I am.
Done.
Another, year's gone by, I'mstill stuck in this place.
I'm still unhappy.
And especially in midlife, we'vegot chapters closing, we've got
(27:19):
empty nest, we've got divorce,we've got career changes.
We oftentimes have friends whoare getting serious illnesses or
we get them ourselves.
We've got friends who may evenbe dying and we are starting to
realize our mortality as well.
We're realizing the preciousnessand the finiteness of our lives.
There are a lot of people outthere who are at that point of
I'm done.
(27:39):
I am committed to making thischange.
Anybody can do this.
That's what I love about this aswell, is that it doesn't matter
how rich or poor, or how youngor old or educated or uneducated
or where you live.
I don't care what your backstoryis.
We are all as human beings withunlimited potential and a
yearning inside us to dosomething.
(28:00):
So if you have that commitmentand that desire, that you just
you can't keep it down anymore,but you don't know what to do
with it.
It's ideal for somebody likethat.
To actually do the work and thereward of having a meaningful
life is invaluable.
The other thing is that I thinkis really important to mention
is that when you are focusing onyourself and going after what it
(28:21):
is that you really want to do tohave a full life, it is good for
everybody in your world, yourfamily, your friends.
People that are important toyou.
It's good for everybody.
Everybody benefits it's not aselfish thing.
It is a good thing.
It's very, very good for you aswell.
as far as we know, you've gotyour one life to live here,
right?
So you owe it to yourself to dothe very best you can and to let
(28:44):
your yearnings out, figure outwhat they are and to, to let
them out
Ashley (28:49):
Once you.
Go down that path of like, Iwanna do whatever goal it is.
I'm determined.
I'm excited.
I love this.
As selfish as that mindset canbe in the moment, especially if
you're a parent that mommy guiltcomes in, whatever, I feel like
the positive side of it is socontagious and spreads to so
(29:09):
many people in your life thatit's like, not only are you
lifting yourself, but you alsohave the potential to lift other
people around you as well.
Mm-hmm and I do think it'sreally important.
We do also touch on the factthat, like you said, it's not
necessarily a speedy process.
Like you have to still bewilling to do the work and it
isn't just I have this greatidea.
(29:30):
Boom, I'm changed.
Like it's such a right.
Not straight path, but there isa lot of hard work that comes
into it.
Sometimes people get lost in thehard work or think that it's
gonna come easier change, takestime.
Jillian (29:45):
Yeah.
Change.
Definitely.
Time, dedication, commitment,deep desire.
But when you balance that andI've lived through all this
myself, I have been stuck.
I have been really stuck andthat's how I got involved in
this myself.
But when I weigh all the hardwork that I have done to get to
where I am through this process.
(30:06):
When I weigh that with where Iwas for years of being stuck, I
would take this a thousand timeswithout a doubt.
The other thing, you know, withmoms, with kids, when you are
living this way in a happy way,when you are.
Living the life that you aremeant to be living, you are role
(30:29):
modeling for your children.
A very positive thing, becausethe opposite of that is your
children learning that you haveto do.
What, other people expect ofyou, you know, stay in this job,
even though it's making younuts, you can't stand it or,
whatever the thing may be.
I don't mean that, with thetraveling around the world idea,
I don't mean ditch your kids andgo backpacking for year on your
(30:51):
own.
That's not what I mean at all.
I mean, if that's what you wannado, you can do it later in your
life because you've got aresponsibility to your children
a hundred percent.
But when you are showing yourchildren, That you can follow
the path that makes your heartfull.
When you are doing that, youwill be successful.
I dont just mean successfulmonetarily, I mean, successful
(31:13):
in your life, with yourhappiness and, when you're doing
that, that's a great thing tomodel for your children and your
happiness will fill their littlehearts as well.
Everybody that's in your life.
So I mean, there's nothing butgood that can come from this
because the opposite is thatfeeling of frustration,
rudderless, that life is passingyou by and you're not happy that
(31:35):
you're unhappy.
Ashley (31:37):
Can you explain a little bit more about the different
services that you offer anddifferent ways that people can
work with you??
Jillian (31:46):
It's one program that I facilitate people through and
the program is called thinkinginto results.
It's a program that I wentthrough as well, I had been
stuck.
for quite a few years.
It's the same story of, youknow, not happy with career, not
happy with relationship.
There were lots of things thatwere not right.
I was ignoring all of the yellowlights and ignoring all the red
(32:08):
lights and just sweeping thingsunder the carpet.
Another year would go by and I'dstill feel the same way.
I wasn't doing anything aboutit.
I finally had this rock bottommoment in the underground
parking at IGA at the grocerystore just before Christmas
time.
I had broken my leg.
I'd fallen off my bike and I wascrying cuz I had an argument
with my daughter and.
(32:30):
My marriage was so unhappy.
There was so much that waswrong.
We'd driven to IGA.
I drove her because she only hadher L and I had this cast on my
leg, but I just wanted to getoutta the house.
I looked like a complete messand we were in the park gate at
IGA and it's underground.
I said, you go upstairs.
I'm just gonna stay here in thecar.
I was just so upset and she gotupstairs and I thought, oh, darn
it.
I need cream for my coffee.
(32:51):
So I tried to phone her.
I couldn't get cell receptionand it had been raining.
So the parking was wet and Ithought, okay, if I get outta my
car with my phone, I can get tothat wall and I can get cell
reception and call her.
I look like a mess cause I'vebeen crying and my hair was
everywhere.
I had these crazy comfy clotheson because I was home with this
broken leg and I got outta thecar with my crutches and.
(33:13):
Looking like a mess and being sounhappy, like deeply unhappy in
so many different levels for solong in my life.
I was walking towards the wallto get cell reception and this
man walked past me and he lookedat me and in this flash across
his face, he had this look onhis face that said how pathetic?
That was the look when he lookedat me and I was like, somebody
punched me in the gut, cuz I wasalways proud of myself and my
(33:36):
appearance and whatever.
All of a sudden that moment Ithought to myself, I will never
ever let myself be here again.
Ever.
And when I heard myself say thatto myself, I'll never let myself
be here again.
It was like a light going onwhere I thought, okay, hang on.
I will never let myself be here.
That means that I let myself gethere.
(33:57):
That means that I'm responsiblefor where I am.
Oh my God.
If I made all these choices thathave brought me where I am, that
means I can choose my way out.
I can make all these decisions.
It was just the mostunbelievable.
It was like, literally like thesky opened up and the sun came
out and it was like, oh my God,like, stick me in the driver's
seat.
I'm driving myself out of thislife that I've gotten myself
into and I'm taking my girlswith me and everything changed
(34:20):
from that moment.
I pulled up my Oprah and myDeepak Chopra and all that
stuff, and I loved them, but Iknew I needed a deeper dive.
And I knew about Bob Proctor.
He was actually in the secret.
I loved him.
I followed him for years.
I knew he had this program.
So I looked into it and it's theprogram that I now facilitate
The six month program.
Cause I knew I needed a deepdive.
I really love the way he teachescuz he's very practical about
(34:42):
the thinking and the takingaction side so I took the
course, but I also knew at thebeginning of the course that
there was the opportunity to betrained, to be a facilitator as
well.
So I did that along with takingthe course.
I went to the training programas well to become a consultant
with the company.
And so went through the program,loved it so much, and my whole
life changed.
I got a divorce.
(35:03):
I sold our house.
We moved, I quit my job.
I started a business within ayear because I was so ready and
I understood how my mind worked.
I understood how my voice in myhead that's telling me, you
can't do this.
What are people gonna think?
Blah, blah, blah.
I learned how to quiet thatvoice.
I learned what that voice is andwhat its role is and how I can
(35:25):
pass it, how I can work towardswhat I really want.
So that's what I help peoplewith when they sign up for the
program in six months.
in a nutshell, how the programitself works six month program,
there are 12 modules.
Each module is two weeks eachand people do a discovery call.
Typically with me beforehand.
It's a free discovery call wherewe talk about where are you?
(35:47):
Where do you wanna be?
What do you think is holding youback?
Why is it important to you to bewhere you want to be?
Then I explain how I work withthe program and how I can help
people through to get from wherethey are to where they really
wanna be.
The program itself is all onlineand self-directed.
It's about an hour to an hourand a half a day for the six
(36:08):
months.
Every Monday I do a zoom meetingwith my clients and that zoom
meeting reviews.
We talk about that two weeklesson we have teaching and
every Wednesday I do a Q&A, sothere's two days a week where
you've got me on zoom for anhour each time.
The remainder of the time is upto you to do your hour to hour
and a half a day work.
(36:29):
That can be done at any timeduring the day that that suits
your schedule.
You gotta be pretty good atbeing independent at doing the
work in terms of your sort ofwork during the week.
But then the meetings are thattwice a week if somebody needs
to call me one on one, they cando that as well.
Ashley (36:42):
I like that.
It gives them the flexibility ofhaving the ownership of being
able to do it online, but willalso having the connection of
having an actual person so thatthey have that.
Accountability piece
Jillian (36:55):
totally.
And the accountability piece isso key for all of us.
I need to have somebody keep meaccountable too, because we're
human.
Right.
It's easy to slip sometimes.
So the accountability piece isreally important, but the other
piece I really love is when thezoom meetings are with the
group.
People learn from each other.
There's a certain kind of anenergy in that kind of a,
conversation where particularlywith the Q and A's on Wednesdays
(37:17):
where people are askingquestions that somebody else
might not have even thought of.
So they're learning from that.
There's just a different kind ofan energy with the group being
there and it also is really agreat feeling for people going
through the program when theycan see other people who are in
a similar situation as they are,and they can think, oh, yay.
Somebody else is stuck.
Just like me.
(37:38):
So I'm not so unusual or I'm notso abnormal.
Like there's other people whoare like me and that's so key to
have that feeling of community.
Right.
And it's nice to see peopleprogress through as well and to
see them doing well.
Ashley (37:50):
I think sometimes in our regular lives, if we make a
change to do something,sometimes that can be hard for
other people.
So I think that community piecewould be huge because you do
wanna feel supported.
Mm-hmm you do wanna feel likeyou're with the like-minded
people.
Jillian (38:04):
Yep.
Definitely definitely.
Something that, I had sort oftouched on earlier that I think
is really important when peopleare feeling like it's something
that they can't do, there's justno way that it's even possible.
They're too old or whatever itmay be.
When I say to them, but lookingat somebody else in their
community, and maybe not eventhe community could be on TV.
It could be in a book, whatever.
There are people out there whohave done the thing that you are
wanting to do without a doubt,there would be, unless it's
(38:27):
something like completely wild,like have your Elon Musk, you're
gonna go to Mars or somethinglike that, but otherwise, right.
There's somebody else who's doneit.
And that is proof for you.
The other thing that I havepeople do, and I've done this
myself and I love this and Istill do this is, and I'll
always do this.
I have a list of reallydifficult things that I have
gone through in my life.
You know, I like my dad dying,which was horrible and I'm a
(38:48):
cancer survivor.
That was horrible.
There are all these things.
I have a list of things that Ihave survived.
That were very challenging.
And every time I'm faced withsomething, now that I feel like,
oh my God, there's no way Icould do this.
How could I do this?
I look at that list and I think,oh, wow.
Yeah, that's right.
I survived this, I survivedthis.
This was really hard.
(39:09):
I survived that I can sure ashell, survived.
This thing that's coming up.
No problem at all.
Right.
So just a reminder to yourselfand just love that.
It's a reminder to yourself ofall the difficult things.
And we have all gone throughhard stuff.
All of us like.
Heartbreaking things or scarythings or terrifying, whatever
it is.
Right.
You've all gone through stuff.
So I highly recommend peoplejust write little bullet points
(39:31):
and I don't mean like take abath in it and be like, oh my
God, you know, like you're sortof admiring yourself in all this
stuff all the time with this badexperiences.
It's just like a little factualchecklist that you can look at
once in a while.
Like, oh yeah.
wow I'm really amazing.
I'm really strong.
I'm really resilient.
I am like really couragous I'vegone through all that.
I can sure as hell do this.
So that's a good little tip.
Ashley (39:52):
I love switching that mindset to it.
Instead of I suffered with thisit's I'm kick ass.
I managed to do X, Y and Z andreally give yourself that pat on
the back, give yourself thatgrace of like, I can do hard
things and I've done hardthings.
And, nothing's gonna break youdown to a point that you.
Maybe you can't get back upagain.
(40:13):
Like obviously there's differentcaveats to it, but for the most
part, like we're resilient, wecan get through hard things.
Jillian (40:19):
We are so resilient.
We're so resilient and keepingin mind also that there's this
sort of a thing called the lawof opposites.
It's this law of polarity it'scalled and, that there's an
opposite for everything.
We see that in our lives, likethings are going rhythms where
things seem be going really,really well.
And then sometimes days can justnot be going so well at all, but
then they go, well again, andthen sometimes they're not going
(40:40):
so well.
And then they go, well again,right.
That's just the way life is.
It's good to have the not sogreat moments too, because if
you did not have those, when youhave your good moments, you
would never ever realize theywere good moments because you'd
have nothing to compare them to.
Right.
So if you look at it that whereyou think like, okay, this is
like really bad, what I'm goingthrough right now, but thank God
it's here because a good thing'scoming.
When it gets here, I'll knowit's good because I'll know.
(41:02):
Compared to this it's it's theopposite, right?
So that's just part of life andthere are more hard times ahead,
but when you know how to framethem in your mind, it becomes
easier to manage them.
And when you understand thatthey're important because they
make you stronger.
(41:22):
Like when you look back at thelist of all the stuff you've
gone through, which will makeyou able to go through the next
scary stuff, therefore thosescary things have made you
strong.
Then you realize, yeah, thesehard times are good and they
will end.
They won't last forever.
Ashley (41:36):
I do think that's really important to remember, and I
think that life would be soboring.
If everything just went greatall the time, thank you so much
for having this conversationwith me tonight.
I really appreciate it.
Can you let everybody know wherethey can find you online?
Jillian (41:52):
Yes.
So my business is called quantumlifestyle consulting and quantum
is Q U A N T U M.
So quantum lifestyle consultingand I'm on Instagram at quantum
lifestyle consulting as well.
If anyone wants to book adiscovery call there's no charge
for that.
They go onto my website and theycan book there's a booking page
there and just pop onto thecalendar.
(42:12):
And then you just book a callthere.
I'd love to talk to you and findout what's on your mind and then
let you know how I work.
Then we just go from there.
Ashley (42:20):
Thank you so much.
Jillian (42:22):
Thank you so much, Ashley.
I really enjoyed talking to you.
Thank you so much for joining ustoday for this episode of the
filled up cup podcast, don'tforget to hit subscribe and
leave a review.
If you like what you hear, youcan also connect with
us@filledupcup.com.
Thanks again for tuning in andwe'll catch you in the next
(42:44):
episode.
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