January 17, 2024 • 51 mins
On this episode I am joined by Brittany Venner. She is a personal trainer, sports nutritionalist and founder and co-creator of Wants + Needs.
She was a dancer from the time that she could walk and into her 20s. After she stopped dancing she realized that she was struggling with an eating disorder and struggled with self-acceptance. She also had breast implants and realized they were causing breast implant illness. We talk about her experiences with abuse, anxiety, depression, lack of self-esteem, an eating disorder, and healing from breast implant illness.
During the pandemic, she decided to launch Wants + Needs. This clothing brand was a way for her to combine her passion of helping women and fashion. She hopes to inspire, spark conversation and change the way women see themselves by creating a brand that sees beauty in women's uniqueness regardless of age, skin colour or size.
CONTACT | Brittany Venner
BRITTANY VENNER Health + Lifestyle (@brittany_venner) • Instagram photos and videos
WANTS+NEEDS (wantsandneedsofficial.com)
Wants Needs (@wantsandneeds_official) • Instagram photos and videos
Filled Up Cup - Unconventional Self Care for Modern Women
Ashley (@filledupcup_) • Instagram photos and videos
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the Filled Up Cuppodcast.
We are a different kind of selfcare resource, one that has
nothing to do with bubble bathsand face masks, and everything
to do with rediscoveringyourself.
We bring you real reviews,honest experiences, and
unfiltered opinions that willmake you laugh, cry, and most
(00:21):
importantly, leave you with afilled up cup.
Ashley (00:31):
I am so excited.
Today I have Brittany Vennerjoining me.
Brittany is a certified personaltrainer and nutritionalist.
She's also the founder of Wantsand Needs Clothing.
We are going to talk about thattoday, as well as breast implant
illness.
So just a little bit of adisclaimer that we're coming
from a place where we're talkingabout our personal experience
and we're not medicalprofessionals.
(00:52):
So Brittany, thank you so muchfor joining me today.
Brittany (00:55):
Thank you so much for having me here.
I'm so excited.
It's my first podcast, so I feelso special.
Ashley (01:01):
Oh, I'm so excited to be your first.
Tell me a little bit about yourbackground.
Brittany (01:08):
So I actually started off as a professional dancer.
I had danced since I was sevenand it's something I always
loved and felt so passionateabout.
It was such an outlet for me,especially with some of my
trauma as a child.
I don't know if I would be onthe path that I'm on if I didn't
(01:29):
have dance.
For like self expression andwhatnot, so movement has always
been a huge part of my life anddue to injury.
I kind of had to stop dancingand I really got involved in
fitness around the age of 20.
I want to say that I was neverstereotypical dance skinny.
(01:50):
I was always technicallyoverweight for a dancer.
And that's something that Ireally battled with as a kid.
I went through an eatingdisorder and all that kind of
stuff.
So when I really decided to takemy health journey into my own
hands and really start educatingmyself and taking care of
myself, I actually lost 25pounds and I became obsessed
(02:13):
with how great I felt.
I.
Slowly started to kind of wantto share that with other women
of like, you don't have to hateyourself.
It doesn't matter about theweight loss, but like how you
feel and as a woman to feelstrong in your body, that is so
powerful.
And so I decided to becomecertified while I was living in
Scotland, went to college thereand kind of created a little bit
(02:35):
of a name for myself.
Living in Scotland and I wasmarried at the time, decided to
get divorced, you know, all thelife things you go through and
life choices that we make.
And then I moved to the Stateswhere I met my current husband
and then went full blown intopersonal training and becoming a
women's coach.
And I have just absolutely lovedthe journey.
(02:58):
And it's such an honor to havemet so many amazing women and to
help them discover theirstrongest selves.
Ashley (03:05):
it's so great to be able to do something that kind of
stems in childhood and have thatinterest and be able to turn it
into a career, turn it into apassion.
And it can be really hard whenyou're fitting into like the
quote unquote, measurements fordance.
I know my daughter did balletfor like eight years.
And even though she was a fitgirl, it is really hard when
(03:26):
your inches don't match whatthey have to be categorized as
in that industry.
So it does sort of lead you inputting so much emphasis on your
body and the sizes.
So I love that you were able tokind of flip it and be like, do
I feel healthy?
Do I feel strong?
Do I feel confident and beautyand all of those things that
aren't measured by a size and beable to kind of help women see
(03:48):
that is so fantastic.
Brittany (03:50):
Thank you so much.
It's been like I said, it's anhonor to work with these women
and I think it's so interestingas much as I'm a personal
trainer and a nutritionist.
I am probably 1st and foremost,the biggest advocate for self
love and body acceptance and I'ma life coach in a lot of ways.
It's so much deeper than justtelling them what to eat,
(04:11):
telling them how to work out.
We have to get through somemajor, self, gates that we've
put up over the years.
I'm like, why are you here.
What has brought you here?
Is it self esteem?
Is it trauma?
Is it?
You just don't believe thatyou're good enough to feel great
about yourself.
You know, there's so manybarriers that we put up and
that's why it's such an honor.
It's about being reallyvulnerable and me getting in
(04:33):
there to, like, slowly takethose down and to truly allow
them to discover who they canbe.
Ashley (04:40):
which is so true.
It is so much more Of a mentalblock in a lot of ways, whether
it's messaging in childhood thatwe believe to be true or whether
it's that we're always comparingourselves to other people.
I feel like we do let so many ofthose things become so much
louder that when we do unpackit, it's like that didn't need
to be as big as it is.
(05:01):
And it really does kind of allowyou to take that weight off your
shoulders and to move forward tofind whatever is the best
version of you.
Brittany (05:09):
Absolutely.
And I'm not going to lie.
I went through a major growthperiod about 10 years ago where
I basically rebuilt myself.
It was like, what does itrunaway bride?
And she's like, okay, what kindof eggs do we like?
Like I pulled myself down.
Everything I was taught,everything I thought I was, I
pulled it all down and basicallystarted scratch.
I'm like, okay, Brittany, who doyou want to be?
(05:29):
Let's heal your past trauma.
Let's really start getting downto the nitty gritty.
Let's be honest with yourself.
Let's look in the mirror.
Say I am insecure.
I am extremely insecure.
I have major things to workthrough.
I am not the woman that I wantto be.
And that's okay.
This is the starting point.
It all starts with the honestyof acknowledging we aren't
perfect.
(05:49):
It's okay to look in the mirrorand go, you know what?
I got some work to do, butthat's a really scary thing.
So you want to acknowledge it.
You either have to work on it oryou're just like, oh crap, I'm
kind of stuck here.
You know what I mean?
What do I do with this?
Ashley (06:04):
I think it's so powerful to give yourself permission to
make mistakes to acknowledgethat mistakes and to say, like,
I can change just because I wasthis version doesn't mean that
this is still who I am today.
And it's like, that growth isreally vital for us to be able
to mature and to move on.
Where did deciding to getimplants fit into that journey?
Brittany (06:26):
I've wanted implants since I was probably 12, 13
years old.
My eating disorder kicked inaround 11, 12 years old.
Being a dancer and being aroundbeautiful women and looking at
celebrities, I never understoodwhy my body didn't look like
there's why was I blessed with acurvy body, but with small
boobs, and that was really hardfor me.
(06:47):
I also grew up with a step momand a mom that had altered
themselves.
So I also thought, well, if youdon't like it.
Fix it.
I just fell into that fix itmentality.
I think as a lot of women do, ifyou don't like something, we can
fix it.
We don't mentally fix it.
We physically fix it.
When the opportunity presenteditself, I believe I was 23.
I was like, hell yeah, I'mgetting breast implants.
(07:09):
My time has come.
Let's do this.
So I did a lot of research, wentto what I thought was a great,
and he was a great surgeon inScotland.
I loved it at first.
I felt great as probably mostwomen do when they have an
insecurity their whole life.
And then you've got to fix thatinsecurity.
And then, it's gone.
Ashley (07:28):
It's actually so funny.
I was 23 when I got mine too.
We basically were told likebigger is better.
Yeah.
And I grew up with PamelaAnderson and Jenny McCarthy were
basically like the two popularcelebrities that everybody sort
of.
idolized.
So it was that there wasn't alot of versions of like small
breast women who were like sexyand powerful the same way that
(07:51):
they were.
So it really was sold to usthat, the bigger the boob, the
better you are, which is sosilly in hindsight.
Brittany (07:59):
Yeah, and I think a lot of women feel this way
because I've heard it a lot isas someone that is 5'9 has broad
shoulders and athletic build,who's a trainer, I am muscular,
I have, you know, slightlybigger thighs and butt, you
know, everything that we tellourselves I felt like I was
imbalanced and I was like, I'mgoing to be so much more
balanced if I have breasts, andThe crazy things we tell
(08:21):
ourselves because I look back atphotos now that they're out and
go, they look like clown boobs.
What was I thinking?
This is like clearly the way Iwas meant to look.
This clearly fits my body.
When things are shoved in ourfaces so often and mixed with,
you know, insecurities, ofcourse, we're going to tell
ourselves whatever we think weneed to hear that, because we're
(08:43):
never good enough as women,heaven forbid, we actually like
what we see when we look in themirror.
Ashley (08:48):
Completely agree.
It does always feel like aproject, which.
Is a whole thing in itself oflike, we really do need to get
to a place where we're notlistening to all the messages
and really learning to live inourself and our love ourself.
But I feel like that also issomething that I just don't know
that like at 23, there's no wayI would have been capable of
that, that it was really mucheasier at 38 and really in the
(09:11):
hindsight and the wisdom andeverything else to be able to
like say that now.
So if you are somebody andyou're struggling and you're
like, I don't love myself.
Like, I get it.
It doesn't happen overnight.
Brittany (09:21):
No, it doesn't.
The older we get, the more wisewe get, the better we feel about
ourselves.
That's why women in their 50sand 60s just don't give a fuck.
Cause they're like, I've beenthere.
I've done that.
I've been insecure.
I've, made every mistakepossible and they're ready.
And it was funny.
It was through training.
These women of all differentages, and I'd be in
(09:42):
consultations with them, and I'mpretty upfront and I'm pretty
open.
I would ask them, do you haveany mental health issues?
Do you have whatever, you know,and a lot of them said, I don't
love my body.
I wish I could change my body.
I have anxiety of depression andthey were very ashamed about it.
You know, acknowledging this.
And at the time I was, you know,25, going through these, you
(10:04):
know, consultations with womenin their fifties, sixties,
seventies, sometimes forties.
A light bulb went off and I waslike, I don't want to be still
in my fifties, sixties hatingmyself.
And that's really what drove my,like, I got work to do because I
am not spending 20, 30 moreyears feeling like this.
(10:24):
And that really kicked it offfor me, but I completely agree.
I mean, you live and you learn,we make mistakes, we grow, we
evolve.
And at 23 years old, I mean, ifsomeone can make that decision,
I mean, props to them for doingthe work at such a young age and
probably having an amazingfamily background that allowed
them to be there, but it's sorare.
Ashley (10:42):
Yeah, for sure.
When did you first startnoticing symptoms of health
things going wrong once you hadyour implants?
Brittany (10:51):
So there was a couple things.
So I had anatomical implants,which means they weren't round.
They were teardrop shape.
I did that because I wanted tothem to look more natural.
Now there is a 1 percent chancethat they could flip.
I was the 1%.
and I have a hard time believingthat it was just 1%.
(11:12):
So within a year of having myimplants, one flipped.
And it was from that point onthat I consistently had issues
with my right breast.
You know, I'm, active I'm apersonal trainer.
I'm running, I'm jumping, I'mlifting.
I'd be so paranoid as I wasteaching classes.
I would just like, kind of checkmy boob every once in a while to
make sure my implant was stillfreaking in place.
(11:34):
It was scary and it's a horriblefeeling because you have to
basically massage it back intoplace and you feel this thing in
your body that's moving and itjust makes me sick to my
stomach.
So that was the firstimplicator, but I hadn't gotten
to the point yet.
In my confidence that I waslike, I'm going to get these
removed.
I'm just going to battle throughheaven forbid.
(11:55):
I don't have boobs.
Like, we're not even goingthere.
I had them in for about 9 As the9 years went on, I was
experiencing a really heightenedanxiety.
Now I've had anxiety my wholelife since I was a little girl.
So they have always battled withand I know how to manage it for
the most part.
But.
This was next level.
I was having panic attacks.
I couldn't manage just everydaystress.
(12:17):
Everything was pushing me overto the edge and I was like, this
is so weird.
I don't know what's going on.
Is it my growth process?
I have no idea.
And then I noticed some thingswith my skin and dry eyes and I
was just like, okay, you know,I'd go to the doctor every once
in a while.
I was just like, I don't feelquite right.
And no doctor could ever tell meReally what was wrong.
(12:38):
And so it wasn't until I hadtalked about getting my breast
implants out eventually, youknow, down the road.
A friend of mine, she was like,have you heard of BII?
And I was like, no, what isthat?
She's like, it's breast implantillness.
She's like, I'm going to sendyou the symptom list.
Take a look.
And sure enough, I had amajority of the symptoms.
(12:59):
Things that doctors couldn'texplain to me.
Or they're just little thingsthat I'm just like, oh, this is
weird.
But like, not worth going to thedoctor for.
But I just don't feel my best.
I'm chronically tired.
I have brain fog.
All these things.
And I was like, wow, that isfascinating.
The moment I found out aboutbreast implant illness, it took
me a solid two years to reallyprocess.
I went to therapy to come toterms with, okay, we are taking
(13:23):
away your blankie.
All your insecurities are comingback.
What are my boobs going to looklike once they're out?
What's the surgery going to belike?
Am I going to hate myself?
Am I going to be left withnothing?
Are people going to still findme attractive?
What is my husband going tothink?
All these things just cameflooding back.
And it took me about two yearsto really decide, okay, this is
what I'm going to do.
(13:43):
I also, as a platform, I teach.
Body acceptance and bodypositivity, and I felt like the
biggest hypocrite to becompletely 100 percent honest.
Here I am preaching about loveyourself, love your body, accept
your body, don't change it, loveit, or care for it, and here I
am having breast implants as I'mpreaching this.
(14:05):
And so that was a huge red flagfor me where I was like, I can't
be preaching this and feel this,you know, strongly about self
love and body acceptance when Ihave clearly altered my body.
Ashley (14:16):
I think sometimes it's easier to help other people or,
give advice to other people, seeother people in, like, a
beautiful way than we seeourselves.
So I think that it's so normalto be like that.
And I think the idea of, likeyou said, we really want boobs.
So to put them in the idea ofhaving to take them out, it does
(14:37):
almost bring, like, Such weirdfeelings because you already
felt a certain way about likeyour pre surgery boobs that then
to have to sort of figure outlike, okay, post surgery boobs,
like really, what does that looklike?
And sometimes the symptom listmakes it easier, but then
sometimes it really doesn't.
Like surgery, no matter what itis, is scary.
(14:57):
And it's hard.
And I think what a lot of peopledon't realize when they get
breast surgery.
implants is that it isn't alifetime device that you are
kind of committing to ongoingsurgeries where I kind of knew
that going in, but I neverreally considered actually
having more surgeries or I justfigured something would
drastically have to go wrong.
For me to actually do it andthen to factor in the price and
(15:21):
stuff on top of it.
So it is so much and I thinkeven with the breast implant
illness symptoms because itisn't a medically recognized
condition.
Doctors aren't even trained toeven consider that as a
possibility of what could becausing symptoms.
And then as women, I feel like.
to some degree we gaslightourselves.
(15:42):
Oh, I'm sure it's just stress.
I'm sure it's like a hormonalthing.
I'm sure it's age and it doesn'tnecessarily come to this black
and white.
Oh, it must be this.
It really is until you look atthe symptoms and you really
think I could have like 20things that I had no idea that
my implants were causing andeven though they say that breast
(16:04):
implant illness doesn't exist orbecause it's not medically
recognized, it is so insane howcommon the symptoms are between
so many people that choose toget implants that, you know, to
recognize it as not a conditionis just silly at this point.
Brittany (16:22):
It really is.
And that's what kind of led meto going to the surgeon that I
did because he actually doesmore explants and implants, and
he is a huge advocate for BII sothat was like a big indicator
for me because a lot ofsurgeons, as I'm sure you're
aware, you go and you're like,okay, I want to take my breast
(16:43):
implants out and they're like,okay, and they'll do it, but
they'll leave the capsule in.
They won't clean you up properlybecause what a lot of people
don't know is your body builds aprotective capsule around the
implant because essentially itdoesn't matter if they're saline
or silicone.
All implants are coated insilicone.
It is poisonous to your bodyperiod.
(17:03):
So your body builds thisprotective capsule around your
implant to protect it.
Any infected tissue that is notremoved from your body.
BII stays in your body.
So when surgeons just take outthe implant, but leave in
basically, you know, bad tissue,that is so irresponsible.
And it makes me angry.
It's like, here we are.
(17:25):
You're supposed to be a healthprofessional.
I know you're a plastic surgeon,but like, come on, you can
clearly see that this tissue isdamaged.
And infected, and you're goingto leave that in a woman's body.
And so, whenever someone asks meabout explant surgery, I'm
always like, make sure they takeout the capsule.
And my surgeon was like, notonly are we taking out the
(17:45):
capsule, we are taking out anyinfected tissue.
So he's like, I'm going tobasically surf your ribs.
I will take out any tissue alongyour ribs without puncturing
your lung that is infected.
And that way, No BII symptoms.
I mean, you'll be completelyclear and that's when I was
like, okay, you're the rightperson.
(18:06):
I don't care how small I am atthis point.
If I'm left with nothing, justget me healthy, get these
fricking things out of me andwe'll take it from there.
Ashley (18:14):
Yeah, it is really scary and you really do have to do
your research to make sure thatyou're getting somebody who can
do it and there are a lot ofresources.
There are a lot of doctors.
It just might mean you have totravel in order to find the
right fit for you.
Yes.
Did you find that once youdecided to explant and you had
everything taken out, did younotice that your symptoms had
(18:37):
kind of disappeared or thatthere was immediate health
changes?
Brittany (18:41):
Oh, my God.
Yes.
So I got out of surgery.
My husband picked me up.
We had about an hour and a halfdrive home, and I hadn't looked
in the mirror.
I mean, you're just have asurgery.
You're barely awake.
And I remember getting home andgoing to the bathroom and I
remember thinking to myself, OhGod, I'm going to look like
hell, you know, because it's abig surgery.
(19:02):
It's a four hour surgery.
They had to do a complete likemuscle reconstruction on me.
Cause it was under the muscle.
There was a lot involved and Iremember looking in the mirror
and I was glowing, glowing.
My eyes were so bright.
My skin was clear.
It was just incredible.
And I remember taking a photoand I posted it in my Instagram
(19:23):
and I remember sending it to afriend and she just couldn't
believe it.
She's like, are you kidding me?
And I'm like, yeah, it's becausemy body's been poisoned for
years and everything, thediscoloration, my skin was more
even, it looked more hydrated.
My eyes were so white, my darkcircles were gone.
And that was the first thing Inoticed.
Ashley (19:42):
It was I could breathe like I could take like a fully
deep breath and I hadn't beenable to breathe like that in
probably 10 years.
Brittany (19:51):
Did you were yours under the muscle or over
Ashley (19:54):
under and they were silicone.
Brittany (19:56):
Okay.
I didn't have that.
I don't know if it's just allthe muscle repair that I mean, I
had to take very shallow breathsfor a long time, but I do
remember feeling.
A huge weight.
off my shoulders mentally andphysically of just being able to
pull my shoulders back.
Cause I don't think peoplerealize when your implants are
(20:17):
under the muscle, your pecs areattached to your shoulder.
So a lot of women have a lot ofpostural issues.
And I remember finally beingable to roll my shoulders back
and going like, Oh my God, thisis incredible.
Ashley (20:31):
It really does make a huge difference.
I find for me, my healingafterwards, it was almost like,
Three steps forward, two stepsback.
So it definitely is still aprocess like getting them out is
so important.
But there was some things thatwent away right away.
And then there was other thingsthat were sort of lingering and
are taking longer to actuallyheal.
Brittany (20:52):
Yeah, I would say my brain fog was gone immediately.
I hadn't been able to think.
That clearly in the years, and Iwas on a lot of meds too.
So the fact that I was thatclear on a lot of meds, I think
says a lot.
So, I mean, it was just, I feltway more relaxed.
It was like, yeah, just a hugeweight off my shoulders.
I'm like, thank God, like thisis over.
(21:14):
I had never had other thangetting my implants.
And, you know, I was much, muchmore of a process and then
longer healing.
Phase.
So I was really, really nervousgoing into surgery.
So I think I was just sofreaking relieved to have it
done and like, okay, cleanstart.
Here we go.
And I really thought I was goingto battle with how I looked.
(21:37):
I thought, you know, I wouldhate myself or really all those,
you know, thoughts of insecuritywould come back, but I actually
didn't.
I remember looking in the mirrorand going like, Oh yeah, this is
what my body's supposed to looklike.
This is so much better.
This is great.
Ashley (21:52):
I think sometimes that healing when you actually factor
in your health of like, okay,this, I didn't realize it was
affecting me this much to be onthe other side of it and to
actually feel better and to beable to move your body in a way
that doesn't feel asconstricted.
I feel like all of those thingsend up having a bigger impact
than What you look like,
Brittany (22:13):
yeah, for sure.
And I think from a physicalstandpoint, if we're going to
talk about how our bodies look,it looked like I lost 15 pounds.
My inflammation went.
Way down.
I naturally lost about 10lbs.
I just had so much inflammationin my body.
So I got into surgery.
It took about a year for me tolose that 10lbs for the
(22:36):
inflammation to go down and Iwas like, okay, so I get my
implants out.
I look longer and leaner thanever.
My skin's glowing.
My eyes are brighter.
I'm crushing it right now.
Like, I actually felt reallygood, you know, versus like,
yeah, it was a really surprisingexperience for me.
(22:57):
I was like, okay, I'll takethis.
This is a great reward for doingthe work and getting over my
insecurities.
Like, I actually think I lookbetter now.
This is great.
Ashley (23:05):
I love that.
I love the fact that it's youcan lean into both sides and to
be able to do the work to beable to sort of not miss that
part, because I think that, wecan't always go to the problem
for the solution.
And if the problem lives withinus that we really do need to
seek professional help.
So I think it's great that youdid the work and then you were
able to find that self lovewithin yourself.
Brittany (23:27):
Yeah, that's vital for me.
The days of toxic thinking andtearing myself apart.
I won't say they're gone becauseI think it's something we will
continue to battle with.
I just know how to fight itbetter.
I have the tools.
I don't let it overwhelm mythoughts.
I can reframe my thinking prettyquickly now.
So not going to say that I don'thave days where they're like.
(23:49):
Not loving myself, but they'redefinitely not the days of when
I had an eating disorder when Ilook in the mirror crying and
hold myself and just hateeverything about myself.
I hated myself at a level.
That was, I look back was scary.
It was really scary,
Ashley (24:06):
which it's.
Powerful that at least you canacknowledge that and whether you
got help for it right away orwhether it was a process, I
think good for you for beingbrave enough to lean into that
and to know that you didn't haveto stay stuck there, that you
didn't have to be, you know,self hating, that there is
always another way.
Brittany (24:26):
Yeah, you guys have to fight for it.
I mean, changing yourself andthe way you think and the way
you see yourself.
I mean, that's hard work.
This came with 10 years of meconsistently, every day,
reframing my thoughts.
Every time I'd think a negativethought, I'd replace it with a
positive one.
This sounds so ridiculous, but Icouldn't stand seeing myself
naked.
(24:47):
I would hide from the mirror orput on clothes or a robe as I
was getting ready.
And one of the things thatreally helped me feel more
comfortable with looking at mybody was I forced myself to get
ready naked.
Like, I'd blow dry my hairnaked, I would, you know, do my
makeup naked because I justwanted to get comfortable being
in my body.
And as a dancer, as someone thatgrew up being able to control
(25:09):
their body to amazing extents,you know, the fact that I could
do all that, but didn't feelcomfortable within myself was
just really odd to me.
So I'm like, okay, I want to beable to feel comfortable just
being, and that really helpedme, really helped.
Ashley (25:25):
I think the exposure therapy is a great idea, and I
think it helps you not pickapart the little parts in the
same way or to become moreaccepting of the things that
maybe you would pick apart.
Mm hmm.
I also think I'm not sure if youknow who Alicia McCarville is.
But she is somebody who lives ina larger body.
(25:46):
Her husband is quite athleticand stereotypically, a lot of
people think that they aren't agood match just because she's
quite large and he's quitetraditionally attractive.
So what she kind of did is shefound herself in the same path
of like hating her body, beingreally depressed, not wanting to
go outside, not wanting to meetnew people Kind of hid herself
(26:10):
for a long time.
So what she did is she got justlike a dollar store notepad and
she started writing downsomething that she loved about
herself that had nothing to dowith her body or her appearance.
And then by the time she hadfilled the whole book, which
again, wasn't an overnightthing, it took her a really long
time.
She really realized that I mighthave fat thighs, but I'm a
(26:33):
really good listener or I'm areally great friend.
Learn to love herself as aperson, not just as the vessel
that she lived in.
And I think for people to, ifthey're fighting to have that
self love or even that just bodyneutrality, something like that
might be beneficial as well,too.
Brittany (26:52):
For sure.
I definitely did that as well.
I would put sticky notes allaround my house.
In my kitchen cupboards.
So every time I ate, you know,it was like, you're worthy of
eating.
Every time I got a coffee, everytime, you know, I looked in the
mirror, there was a stickynotes, and so I did something
very similar where I fullyimmersed myself into my growth
(27:14):
and it's a choice and that's adedication and when you really,
really want it, when you reallywant something, you will go to
the ends of the earth and makeit happen.
I think that's where women cansometimes get stuck because we
all want to feel good aboutourselves.
Of course, we want to supportother women.
Of course, we want to feelgreat.
Of course, you know, self loveand all the things that are so
(27:35):
popular to preach about, but howmany of them actually do the
work to heal so much easier topreach.
And that's why, I mean, I feltlike a hypocrite preaching
about.
body acceptance and I hadchanged myself.
It was like, no, this can't be athing.
I am ready to become me again.
And to feel whole with what I ampreaching to women about,
Ashley (27:56):
I think maybe it's like, Helping other people first is
what gives us permission to belike, if they can do it, I can
do it too, because I think thatthe more that we create safe
spaces where not only are weprojecting the energy that we
want, whether it is, you know,body neutrality, self love, self
(28:16):
acceptance.
I think it's like the more weput out, the more we get it
back.
So it's creating that safe spaceof okay, I did it for them.
I helped them.
Now, what can I do for myself?
And then also creating thatcommunity that not only are you
helping other people, but you'vealso created a situation where
people know that about you,you've created that space where
you can be that for them.
(28:37):
And they can kind of be that foryou, even though you are.
Essentially the serviceprovider, but it's like, yeah,
unity.
Brittany (28:46):
Totally.
I felt like I had come such along way in my self love journey
that getting my implants out waslike the last step, not to say
that I'm going to continue towork on it for the rest of my
life, but my biggest growth, mybiggest going from hating
myself, eating disorder, youknow, all that restriction to
finding a very balancedlifestyle and helping so many
(29:07):
women go through it.
I was like, okay, I'm ready.
This is like the last thing thatI can do for myself to be whole,
to be me again.
Ashley (29:14):
When you were kind of at the end of your journey, is that
where you decided to make wantsand needs clothing or when did
you launch that company?
Brittany (29:22):
So it was probably Wants And Needs has been
something I have sat on for fiveyears now, but a long time it's
always been a dream of mine.
So I wouldn't say that's whatpushed me to start it.
I obviously being a women'shealth and fitness coach, I am
just around women all the timethat hate themselves or want to
change things or pick themselvesapart.
(29:43):
I remember being there.
And I also know how hard it isto be a woman in today's society
where so much is shoved in ourfaces, every skincare line is,
you know, want to look younger,don't even get me started on
aging, but like.
Heaven forbid we actuallyaccept, you know, aging because
every single one of us on theplanet ages.
(30:05):
We can only fight it so much.
Why it's so bad.
I have no idea.
So I really wanted to change thesocietal standard of beauty.
I wanted to photograph realwomen and show these women are
stunning.
Doesn't matter the age, thesize, the shape, the cellulite,
the stretch marks.
(30:25):
The whatever things that societywould deem as not right, or you
need to fix it.
I wanted to show it in the mostbeautiful way possible.
It's probably a combination oflike my own self love journey
and coming into myself.
I wouldn't necessarily tie it tomy explant though, if that makes
sense.
Ashley (30:43):
For sure.
Can you tell me a little bitabout the type of clothing that
you carry?
Brittany (30:50):
It's definitely more casual.
I basically wanted to start offwith two items because if
anybody knows starting aclothing line is extremely hard
and extremely expensive, so Ididn't have the resources to
start a full clothing line rightoff the bat.
I kind of wanted to test themarket.
Let's get it out there.
Let's see what it does.
People take to it and it startsto evolve and great.
(31:13):
I can add on.
So I am a T shirt girl.
through and through.
I live in t shirts, I dress themup, dress them down, so having a
really good graphic tea wasimportant to me.
And then the 2nd 1 is I love agood sweatshirt, but I also
wanted to feel a little bit moreelevated.
I didn't want it to feel likelounge wear.
I wear it with my leather pants.
(31:34):
I wear it with jeans.
I wear it around the house withwork clothes.
Like, I really wanted it to beversatile.
I worked in fashion most of mylife as well.
It's been a huge passion ofmine.
So that was so much fun toreally create things that I
loved personally, and it couldreally reflect my style.
I also felt like anything thatwas like pro body positivity,
(31:55):
love yourself as a little bubblegum for me.
I dress a little bit more, Iwouldn't say edgy, but I love
jeans, t shirts, leather,blazers, like I love elevated
chic style.
I really wanted to kind of blendthose two worlds together, have
two really beautiful pieces thatmean so much and can make such a
(32:15):
statement without the cheese.
Ashley (32:18):
Absolutely.
Because I do think that.
Self care and self love and bodypositivity.
All of it has become such abuzzwords and have become almost
like marketing schemes for a lotof industry that don't really
stand behind anything.
They've almost sort of likegreenwashed that industry.
So it is really nice that like,you can have somebody where
(32:40):
maybe an older lady that haswrinkles wearing the same t
shirt or somebody who's plussize wearing the same t shirt.
And it's just kind of nice toknow that it's for every body.
Without it having to be likewithout like a bit.
Brittany (32:54):
Yeah, exactly.
I just really wanted to showcasethe images.
We spent two years shooting realwomen.
These women volunteered to dothe shoots with us, knowing that
they were going to be potential,artwork.
It was just so incredible towatch these women.
Obviously, you're in a studiowith Jennifer, who's my partner
(33:14):
in this.
She's an amazing, amazingphotographer.
She's so special and sotalented.
So it's usually the two of us ina room with our model a.
K.
A real woman.
No models are photographed inthis.
And it's amazing.
Like, this is very vulnerable.
We're showing our bodies and.
(33:36):
They've never modeled beforeeither.
So not only am I asking you tobe half naked, you know,
learning how to move your bodyis also a lot it was really cool
to watch each woman get more andmore settled with themselves and
go from very nervous to justliving in their bodies.
I get emotional after everysingle shoot because every woman
(33:57):
is just like, that was such agift.
Thank you so much.
We send them all the images andwe make sure that the images
that we're using are approved bythem and they feel comfortable
with it, but like how special toget this free photo shoot.
Get all these amazing images.
We shot a mother and a baby andthose are some of my favorite,
like, it's so special.
So intimate.
And you're just like, this isreal.
(34:18):
This is like what real womenlook like.
It's gorgeous.
Ashley (34:22):
I think we crave that real.
I feel like we haven't had itlong enough that it's like that
is what we want to see.
I think for a lot of people,once you have that experience of
feeling so special and feelingso confident, I feel like it's
almost the spark that jumps youforward.
Like that can inspire you to belike, I love feeling like this.
I'm capable of feeling likethis.
(34:43):
How am I going to continue?
Making this more of my realityand like incorporating this into
my lifestyle.
Brittany (34:50):
Absolutely.
It's extremely empowering.
Ashley (34:53):
Are your clothes strictly online or are you in
any brick or mortar?
Brittany (34:59):
Not in any brick or mortar yet.
We just launched in June.
So we're a brand new business.
So I'm mostly doing it online.
I try to do as many pop upevents and trade shows.
Like, I am in the new businesshustle right now.
I'm not going to lie.
I am coming to terms with howinvolved this is to really get a
(35:21):
brand out there.
I have a new respect for newbusiness owners that have made
something for themselves becausedamn, it's challenging.
I think with social media, too,there's a lot of companies that
don't put out great products.
I think at 1 time or another,we've all been scammed or
receive something that's like,really crappy.
So I think a lot of people aremore hesitant to buy online.
(35:43):
So I think it's just aboutbuilding up, that trust with
our, followers and with ourclients that we do have great
products.
It was also really important forme to offer a product that's
sustainable and made in LA.
That was a non negotiable forme.
I think self care is one thing,but that also translate to how
(36:05):
we treat everything and everyonearound us.
So making sure that we're caringfor our environment was vital
for me.
So even the packaging isbiodegradable.
Everything is eco friendly.
Ashley (36:16):
I think it's so important to be, sustainable
like that.
I think coming out of thepandemic or during the pandemic,
we kind of realized when storesweren't being stocked the same
or when we couldn't find thesame product.
I think it really opened oureyes to realize.
Where is our products comingfrom?
Why can't we get them here nowand really start to focus on
(36:38):
shopping local shopping inplaces that were made close to
where we live or where we liveso that we are factoring in.
If I'm ordering this, you know,$5 shirt from somewhere.
And it's being shipped from theother side of the world, I'm
thinking about the freightcosts.
I'm thinking about, that truckthat drove it from whatever
warehouse to my house, all ofthis sort of carbon footprint of
(37:01):
where our products come from.
And that's not to say, like,don't order online and don't
have something shipped, but it'sreally just factoring in, is
this something that, you know,is important that I can get
local?
Is it something that.
Is sustainable.
Is it something that'sbenefiting?
Women makers that are making ita substantial way.
All of those things I think arereally important because it does
(37:24):
matter if we are polluting ourearth or what we're leaving
behind.
Brittany (37:29):
100%.
I really wanted people to knowthat they aren't just buying an
amazing, great quality,sustainable item.
It's also, it's a clearconscience.
We also donate 5 percent of allour proceeds to three women's
organizations that we partnerwith.
So we just really want to giveback.
(37:49):
We want to care for ourselves,care for others, and make an
impact in the world.
I just think.
It's time.
Ashley (37:57):
It's really important to have that value system.
I think more companies need tohave that.
And I think more companies needto really think about
sustainability and that donationpiece.
It's not easy for a newbusiness, obviously, to donate
anything, but I think whenyou're a massive corporation, I
feel like you could be doingmore without asking your
consumers to, donate at the tilor things like that.
Brittany (38:20):
For sure.
So when I went through themanufacturing process, which is
a whole learning curve theyactually damaged about 50
sweatshirts.
The images were misprinted orthey were just not right.
It looks like there was somebleeding, they were faded and it
was heartbreaking.
It's heartbreaking to invest somuch money and there's nothing
(38:40):
to protect me.
As a buyer from the company.
So here I am stuck with 50shirts that cost a lot of money
to make and I couldn't doanything with them.
So I decided to donate thembecause I'm like, they're not
hideous.
I'm not gonna sell them on mysite for a standard I live by,
(39:02):
but at least I can donate them.
We partner with Dress forSuccess.
So, you know, donating themthere was, meaningful to be able
to partner with them and just beable to at least give back so
they're not going to waste.
Ashley (39:14):
I definitely agree with you.
How frustrating when it is stuffthat's out of your control, it's
one thing.
It's like if you oopsie, it'slike, okay, I messed up, but to
purchase something and thenyeah, to have your hands tied
because of quality control as anew business, I can imagine how
incredibly stressful that is.
Brittany (39:31):
Yeah, it's been a really trying year.
I guess the positive thing thathas come out of it is I've
learned so much about myself.
I've really learned that I needto slow down in making
decisions.
I really need to manage mystress, manage my anxiety,
because I like verged on mentalbreakdown.
It was so much stress and somuch money going out.
(39:52):
And then to receive the productthat you've worked two years on,
and there's mistakes on it.
I was gut wrenched, gutwrenched.
And it was just a reallyvaluable lesson of like, okay,
here we go.
This is just the beginning.
Worst things are going tohappen.
You know, business owners, Imean, have to be tough and you
have to be able tocompartmentalize.
And it's just really been such avaluable lesson and a growth
(40:15):
experience for myself to golike, okay, Brittany, you gotta
like, you have some work to doin the stress department.
We gotta manage the anxietybetter.
We got to find better boundarieswith work and personal life, you
know, and I would say I'm aworkaholic.
It's hard to put your passionsdown sometimes.
Ashley (40:33):
I definitely agree with that.
And I think that it's also soawesome to take the challenge.
How many people want to start abusiness or have an idea and
they're just too scared or theytalk themselves out of it.
So no matter what the overalloutcome of it is, at least you
were brave enough to start thecompany, to take the chance and
see what it could be.
Brittany (40:55):
And tying back to, you know, my self love journey and
my confidence journey.
If this was five years ago, likeI said, it took me five years to
start this business.
It took me years to gain theconfidence to go.
You know what?
I think I have something here.
I think I can create an impactin this world.
I think I can help women..
(41:16):
Let's just fricking go for it.
If it was five years ago, Iwouldn't have done it.
I didn't do it.
It took me a long time to getthe confidence to do it.
So this isn't just anotherclothing line to me.
This is growth for myself.
It's proving to myself that Ican do it.
There's so many things tied toit.
It's a billion things in one.
Ashley (41:37):
I also think like how inspiring for people to realize,
like, even if you do have thisidea, Five years, 10 years, 15
years.
Like it doesn't mean that it'stoo late.
You can always try a newproject.
You could always try a newactivity.
You can always.
Find something to betteryourself whether you're coming
to these realizations at 30, 40,50, you're still capable of
(42:00):
trying and doing all of thesethings.
It's really inspiring whenwomen.
Or people are just hearing yourstory to know, okay, Hey, like
it took her five years and shestill ended up doing this thing,
or it took her 10 years todecide that she felt
comfortable, wearing a bathingsuit or whatever the thing is
that I just think sometimes weget in the mindset of like, I,
(42:24):
had to do high school and thencollege and then get married and
then have two kids and a dogand.
Just live my life this way, butI just think it's so important
that people can realize thatyour journey can zigzag all over
the place and you can still behappy, healthy, and successful
at the end of it.
Brittany (42:41):
Really well said.
And I couldn't agree more.
I just actually did a whole poston this.
You know, at 21, I got married.
I moved to Scotland at 23.
I got divorced, moved back toCanada, didn't know what I was
going to do was a dancer.
I'm like, okay, I was alreadypersonal training at the time,
but I'm like, okay, I'm going togo travel.
I'm going to dance on a cruiseship.
(43:03):
And that's where I met myhusband.
And then I moved to Portland.
I moved to the States, wentthrough immigration, went
through periods of time where Icouldn't work because going
through the immigration processwouldn't allow me to because I
was waiting on my working visa.
And just like ping pongingaround, going through the
biggest growth in my life,starting my personal training
business on my own, not in a gymand then working the way up to
(43:24):
gain confidence.
So like start a clothing lineand then this could work.
Maybe it doesn't.
You know, maybe my clothing linedoesn't take off, but I didn't
want to sit back and one daywhen I'm 50 wonder, could I have
done it?
I couldn't live.
So it was worth taking thechance for me, whether it's
(43:45):
successful or not.
Ashley (43:47):
I love that.
I really do hope it'ssuccessful.
Like I didn't mean like, but Ido love the fact that like,
whether all of these things Endup not being the way that we
want them to.
It's like to have that mindsetof I'm okay.
No matter what, like I tried it,it went great or it didn't work
great.
I joined this career and then Ipivoted to this.
(44:09):
Like no matter what, it's likejust having that love within
yourself.
Of knowing that all of thoseoutside things don't define you
Brittany (44:19):
Yeah, I think society loves for us to focus on one
thing, you know, you go toschool and it's for one thing
and it doesn't matter what yourother interests are.
You're going to go becomedoctor, go through that school
and you're like, wow, I'm adoctor now.
And you start practicing andyou're like, well, fuck, I don't
want to be a doctor.
What do I do?
And I think a lot of a lot of myclients, a lot of people we know
(44:42):
end up having this.
Career change in their fortiesand fifties, because one, you're
more whole, you've a betterunderstanding of yourself.
You often are more aligned withyour passions and you know
yourself better.
So you're like, wow, why that'sgreat that I became a doctor.
That was a lot of work, gainsome experiences there, but it's
(45:02):
not what I'm passionate about.
And that career change isbecoming more and more popular.
Ashley (45:08):
Yeah, because I think we realize that we don't have to
fit one mold anymore and youdon't have to settle and if you
make a mistake, like you're notdefined by that mistake, you
don't have to live in it.
There's so many differentavenues and opportunities for
people that it's like, they justhave to be brave enough to take
that chance.
Brittany (45:26):
I think sharing too.
I know even when it comes tosocial media, like the algorithm
doesn't like you having multipleinterests.
It doesn't know where to putyou.
That's something I struggle withbecause I'm like, yes, I'm a
personal trainer nutritionist.
I am so passionate and I'm verygood at what I do, but I also
love beauty.
I was a makeup artist for years.
(45:47):
But I've also worked in fashionmy whole life.
I've gone to fashion week.
I've worked with major brands.
I've worked as a stylist.
Like I have so many things tooffer and things that I love,
but the algorithm pigeonholesyou, which is like what society
does.
Like heaven forbid you have morethan one thing that you love to
do or that you're good at.
(46:08):
And I think the biggest thingfor me is for a long time, I
felt like I had to choose.
And I'm like, okay, well, mybusiness, personal training and
nutrition, I mean, that's likemy bread and butter.
I'm like, we're going to focuson that.
And for a really long time, Ifelt not fulfilled because I was
ignoring probably my bestquality, which is my creativity,
(46:31):
my creative brain.
That's who I am as a dancer, asan artist and fashion as a
makeup artist.
I was ignoring that.
And it wasn't until I startedwants and needs and finally
starting to fulfill that side ofmyself, but I felt a whole new
light inside me.
And I'm like, oh, wow, I've beensuppressing this for years
because I thought I had to, andI just want people to know,
(46:53):
like, you can do more than 1thing.
You can follow your passions andstill have your mind thought you
have your side hustles a phrasefor a reason.
You can have our side hustlesand your hobbies and the things
that bring you joy.
Don't give those up.
Those are probably the thingsthat you're going to succeed in
the most.
Ashley (47:10):
It's really when you show your authentic side, like
the algorithm is so annoying inthe sense that like, whether you
niche down, whether you have 10content pullers, they'll switch
it up for you.
You'll become an expertphotographer and you'll have all
your followers and then they'lldecide that you have to do reels
and everything has to be video.
So it's like, yeah, you cannever.
(47:31):
You have to be so carefulcatering to fitting into those
molds, like you said, becausethey'll change them on you once
you think you have it.
So it's like you kind of justhave to put it all out there and
hope that your audience sort ofconnects with you that way,
which will drive the algorithm.
But it is super helpful.
Brittany (47:48):
I think we're in.
A day and age where so manypeople have so many multiple
things to offer and it's like,why not?
Why not just put yourself outthere and it's usually your
passions that, people can pickup on and see, and you know,
they can feel it from you, whichends up making you more
successful anyway.
Ashley (48:08):
We all have those differences or like those things
that we think are weird aboutus.
And it's like, we try again totry to fit into.
Oh, you know, Brittany's doingthis.
I should do it too.
Where it's like your weirdnessis what makes you so special and
will probably help you find yourpassion a little bit easier than
being concerned what the nextperson is doing
Brittany (48:27):
yeah.
I think for years I was reallylike when I'm going through the
phase of like, okay, Brittany,you have to choose personal
training.
This is your goal.
This is what you're going tofocus on.
This is what your social mediais going to be.
This is what you're doing fulltime, which I am doing in full
time.
But I was a little bit worried,I'm like, what if I start
sharing my other passions arepeople not going to take me as
seriously as a personal trainerand nutritionist.
(48:50):
If I start sharing these things,those thoughts did go through my
mind.
And eventually I was like, well,whatever, this is me.
I'm really good at what I do,but I also love this too.
Whatever.
I'm just going to go for it.
If people want to stay andlisten and watch, then cool.
People want to unfollow mebecause I talk about explant
(49:10):
surgery or body positivity, thengood for them.
Ashley (49:14):
Well, that's the thing.
It's like, you kind of just haveto, like, if they unfollow them,
they weren't meant for youanyways, but it's like, okay,
bye.
Yeah.
If people wanted to work withyou on the personal training or
nutritionalist side, do you workin person or online or both?
Brittany (49:30):
I do both.
So if you're in Portland, I cantake clients here in person.
I guess the huge gift aboutCOVID is I think people got way
more comfortable with virtual.
So even my Portland clients arelike, I don't want to drive that
traffic.
Let's just do it from home.
You know, Sweet.
That's great.
I have a very close connectionwith all my clients.
(49:52):
It's a very vulnerable process,and we nine times out of 10 end
up becoming very close friends.
So I like to be very real withmy clients.
So if you want to work out yourpajamas, sweet.
But, yeah, so you can work outwith me virtually or in person,
whatever suits you best.
And then my personal trainingalso comes with nutrition, but I
also offer nutrition as a sidejust in case people just want to
(50:15):
focus on that 1st, or maybe, Imean, we always have to take
into consideration personaltraining and having a
nutritionist is a luxury.
So, maybe they can't afford thepersonal training, but they
still want to make improvementson the health.
At least I can do the nutrition.
Ashley (50:30):
It's awesome to have the different options.
Can you tell people if they'relooking for you online where
they can find you?
Brittany (50:37):
Yes, they can find me@brittanyvenner.com.
That's my website, and then myhashtag urin site.
My hashtag, what is it calledfor social media?
Your hand.
That is what I was trying tosay.
It's just at Brittany Venner.
Ashley (50:53):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much forhaving this conversation with me
today.
Brittany (50:57):
Thank you so much for having me.
This is so wonderful.
Thank you so much for joining ustoday for this episode of the
filled up cup podcast.
Don't forget to hit subscribeand leave a review.
If you like what you hear, youcan also connect with us at
filledupcup.Com.
Thanks again for tuning in andwe'll catch you in the next
(51:19):
episode.
Welcome to the Filled Up Cuppodcast.
We are a different kind of selfcare resource, one that has
nothing to do with bubble bathsand face masks, and everything
to do with rediscoveringyourself.
We bring you real reviews,honest experiences, and
unfiltered opinions that willmake you laugh, cry, and most
(00:21):
importantly, leave you with afilled up cup.
Ashley (00:31):
I am so excited.
Today I have Brittany Vennerjoining me.
Brittany is a certified personaltrainer and nutritionalist.
She's also the founder of Wantsand Needs Clothing.
We are going to talk about thattoday, as well as breast implant
illness.
So just a little bit of adisclaimer that we're coming
from a place where we're talkingabout our personal experience
and we're not medicalprofessionals.
(00:52):
So Brittany, thank you so muchfor joining me today.
Brittany (00:55):
Thank you so much for having me here.
I'm so excited.
It's my first podcast, so I feelso special.
Ashley (01:01):
Oh, I'm so excited to be your first.
Tell me a little bit about yourbackground.
Brittany (01:08):
So I actually started off as a professional dancer.
I had danced since I was sevenand it's something I always
loved and felt so passionateabout.
It was such an outlet for me,especially with some of my
trauma as a child.
I don't know if I would be onthe path that I'm on if I didn't
(01:29):
have dance.
For like self expression andwhatnot, so movement has always
been a huge part of my life anddue to injury.
I kind of had to stop dancingand I really got involved in
fitness around the age of 20.
I want to say that I was neverstereotypical dance skinny.
(01:50):
I was always technicallyoverweight for a dancer.
And that's something that Ireally battled with as a kid.
I went through an eatingdisorder and all that kind of
stuff.
So when I really decided to takemy health journey into my own
hands and really start educatingmyself and taking care of
myself, I actually lost 25pounds and I became obsessed
(02:13):
with how great I felt.
I.
Slowly started to kind of wantto share that with other women
of like, you don't have to hateyourself.
It doesn't matter about theweight loss, but like how you
feel and as a woman to feelstrong in your body, that is so
powerful.
And so I decided to becomecertified while I was living in
Scotland, went to college thereand kind of created a little bit
(02:35):
of a name for myself.
Living in Scotland and I wasmarried at the time, decided to
get divorced, you know, all thelife things you go through and
life choices that we make.
And then I moved to the Stateswhere I met my current husband
and then went full blown intopersonal training and becoming a
women's coach.
And I have just absolutely lovedthe journey.
(02:58):
And it's such an honor to havemet so many amazing women and to
help them discover theirstrongest selves.
Ashley (03:05):
it's so great to be able to do something that kind of
stems in childhood and have thatinterest and be able to turn it
into a career, turn it into apassion.
And it can be really hard whenyou're fitting into like the
quote unquote, measurements fordance.
I know my daughter did balletfor like eight years.
And even though she was a fitgirl, it is really hard when
(03:26):
your inches don't match whatthey have to be categorized as
in that industry.
So it does sort of lead you inputting so much emphasis on your
body and the sizes.
So I love that you were able tokind of flip it and be like, do
I feel healthy?
Do I feel strong?
Do I feel confident and beautyand all of those things that
aren't measured by a size and beable to kind of help women see
(03:48):
that is so fantastic.
Brittany (03:50):
Thank you so much.
It's been like I said, it's anhonor to work with these women
and I think it's so interestingas much as I'm a personal
trainer and a nutritionist.
I am probably 1st and foremost,the biggest advocate for self
love and body acceptance and I'ma life coach in a lot of ways.
It's so much deeper than justtelling them what to eat,
(04:11):
telling them how to work out.
We have to get through somemajor, self, gates that we've
put up over the years.
I'm like, why are you here.
What has brought you here?
Is it self esteem?
Is it trauma?
Is it?
You just don't believe thatyou're good enough to feel great
about yourself.
You know, there's so manybarriers that we put up and
that's why it's such an honor.
It's about being reallyvulnerable and me getting in
(04:33):
there to, like, slowly takethose down and to truly allow
them to discover who they canbe.
Ashley (04:40):
which is so true.
It is so much more Of a mentalblock in a lot of ways, whether
it's messaging in childhood thatwe believe to be true or whether
it's that we're always comparingourselves to other people.
I feel like we do let so many ofthose things become so much
louder that when we do unpackit, it's like that didn't need
to be as big as it is.
(05:01):
And it really does kind of allowyou to take that weight off your
shoulders and to move forward tofind whatever is the best
version of you.
Brittany (05:09):
Absolutely.
And I'm not going to lie.
I went through a major growthperiod about 10 years ago where
I basically rebuilt myself.
It was like, what does itrunaway bride?
And she's like, okay, what kindof eggs do we like?
Like I pulled myself down.
Everything I was taught,everything I thought I was, I
pulled it all down and basicallystarted scratch.
I'm like, okay, Brittany, who doyou want to be?
(05:29):
Let's heal your past trauma.
Let's really start getting downto the nitty gritty.
Let's be honest with yourself.
Let's look in the mirror.
Say I am insecure.
I am extremely insecure.
I have major things to workthrough.
I am not the woman that I wantto be.
And that's okay.
This is the starting point.
It all starts with the honestyof acknowledging we aren't
perfect.
(05:49):
It's okay to look in the mirrorand go, you know what?
I got some work to do, butthat's a really scary thing.
So you want to acknowledge it.
You either have to work on it oryou're just like, oh crap, I'm
kind of stuck here.
You know what I mean?
What do I do with this?
Ashley (06:04):
I think it's so powerful to give yourself permission to
make mistakes to acknowledgethat mistakes and to say, like,
I can change just because I wasthis version doesn't mean that
this is still who I am today.
And it's like, that growth isreally vital for us to be able
to mature and to move on.
Where did deciding to getimplants fit into that journey?
Brittany (06:26):
I've wanted implants since I was probably 12, 13
years old.
My eating disorder kicked inaround 11, 12 years old.
Being a dancer and being aroundbeautiful women and looking at
celebrities, I never understoodwhy my body didn't look like
there's why was I blessed with acurvy body, but with small
boobs, and that was really hardfor me.
(06:47):
I also grew up with a step momand a mom that had altered
themselves.
So I also thought, well, if youdon't like it.
Fix it.
I just fell into that fix itmentality.
I think as a lot of women do, ifyou don't like something, we can
fix it.
We don't mentally fix it.
We physically fix it.
When the opportunity presenteditself, I believe I was 23.
I was like, hell yeah, I'mgetting breast implants.
(07:09):
My time has come.
Let's do this.
So I did a lot of research, wentto what I thought was a great,
and he was a great surgeon inScotland.
I loved it at first.
I felt great as probably mostwomen do when they have an
insecurity their whole life.
And then you've got to fix thatinsecurity.
And then, it's gone.
Ashley (07:28):
It's actually so funny.
I was 23 when I got mine too.
We basically were told likebigger is better.
Yeah.
And I grew up with PamelaAnderson and Jenny McCarthy were
basically like the two popularcelebrities that everybody sort
of.
idolized.
So it was that there wasn't alot of versions of like small
breast women who were like sexyand powerful the same way that
(07:51):
they were.
So it really was sold to usthat, the bigger the boob, the
better you are, which is sosilly in hindsight.
Brittany (07:59):
Yeah, and I think a lot of women feel this way
because I've heard it a lot isas someone that is 5'9 has broad
shoulders and athletic build,who's a trainer, I am muscular,
I have, you know, slightlybigger thighs and butt, you
know, everything that we tellourselves I felt like I was
imbalanced and I was like, I'mgoing to be so much more
balanced if I have breasts, andThe crazy things we tell
(08:21):
ourselves because I look back atphotos now that they're out and
go, they look like clown boobs.
What was I thinking?
This is like clearly the way Iwas meant to look.
This clearly fits my body.
When things are shoved in ourfaces so often and mixed with,
you know, insecurities, ofcourse, we're going to tell
ourselves whatever we think weneed to hear that, because we're
(08:43):
never good enough as women,heaven forbid, we actually like
what we see when we look in themirror.
Ashley (08:48):
Completely agree.
It does always feel like aproject, which.
Is a whole thing in itself oflike, we really do need to get
to a place where we're notlistening to all the messages
and really learning to live inourself and our love ourself.
But I feel like that also issomething that I just don't know
that like at 23, there's no wayI would have been capable of
that, that it was really mucheasier at 38 and really in the
(09:11):
hindsight and the wisdom andeverything else to be able to
like say that now.
So if you are somebody andyou're struggling and you're
like, I don't love myself.
Like, I get it.
It doesn't happen overnight.
Brittany (09:21):
No, it doesn't.
The older we get, the more wisewe get, the better we feel about
ourselves.
That's why women in their 50sand 60s just don't give a fuck.
Cause they're like, I've beenthere.
I've done that.
I've been insecure.
I've, made every mistakepossible and they're ready.
And it was funny.
It was through training.
These women of all differentages, and I'd be in
(09:42):
consultations with them, and I'mpretty upfront and I'm pretty
open.
I would ask them, do you haveany mental health issues?
Do you have whatever, you know,and a lot of them said, I don't
love my body.
I wish I could change my body.
I have anxiety of depression andthey were very ashamed about it.
You know, acknowledging this.
And at the time I was, you know,25, going through these, you
(10:04):
know, consultations with womenin their fifties, sixties,
seventies, sometimes forties.
A light bulb went off and I waslike, I don't want to be still
in my fifties, sixties hatingmyself.
And that's really what drove my,like, I got work to do because I
am not spending 20, 30 moreyears feeling like this.
(10:24):
And that really kicked it offfor me, but I completely agree.
I mean, you live and you learn,we make mistakes, we grow, we
evolve.
And at 23 years old, I mean, ifsomeone can make that decision,
I mean, props to them for doingthe work at such a young age and
probably having an amazingfamily background that allowed
them to be there, but it's sorare.
Ashley (10:42):
Yeah, for sure.
When did you first startnoticing symptoms of health
things going wrong once you hadyour implants?
Brittany (10:51):
So there was a couple things.
So I had anatomical implants,which means they weren't round.
They were teardrop shape.
I did that because I wanted tothem to look more natural.
Now there is a 1 percent chancethat they could flip.
I was the 1%.
and I have a hard time believingthat it was just 1%.
(11:12):
So within a year of having myimplants, one flipped.
And it was from that point onthat I consistently had issues
with my right breast.
You know, I'm, active I'm apersonal trainer.
I'm running, I'm jumping, I'mlifting.
I'd be so paranoid as I wasteaching classes.
I would just like, kind of checkmy boob every once in a while to
make sure my implant was stillfreaking in place.
(11:34):
It was scary and it's a horriblefeeling because you have to
basically massage it back intoplace and you feel this thing in
your body that's moving and itjust makes me sick to my
stomach.
So that was the firstimplicator, but I hadn't gotten
to the point yet.
In my confidence that I waslike, I'm going to get these
removed.
I'm just going to battle throughheaven forbid.
(11:55):
I don't have boobs.
Like, we're not even goingthere.
I had them in for about 9 As the9 years went on, I was
experiencing a really heightenedanxiety.
Now I've had anxiety my wholelife since I was a little girl.
So they have always battled withand I know how to manage it for
the most part.
But.
This was next level.
I was having panic attacks.
I couldn't manage just everydaystress.
(12:17):
Everything was pushing me overto the edge and I was like, this
is so weird.
I don't know what's going on.
Is it my growth process?
I have no idea.
And then I noticed some thingswith my skin and dry eyes and I
was just like, okay, you know,I'd go to the doctor every once
in a while.
I was just like, I don't feelquite right.
And no doctor could ever tell meReally what was wrong.
(12:38):
And so it wasn't until I hadtalked about getting my breast
implants out eventually, youknow, down the road.
A friend of mine, she was like,have you heard of BII?
And I was like, no, what isthat?
She's like, it's breast implantillness.
She's like, I'm going to sendyou the symptom list.
Take a look.
And sure enough, I had amajority of the symptoms.
(12:59):
Things that doctors couldn'texplain to me.
Or they're just little thingsthat I'm just like, oh, this is
weird.
But like, not worth going to thedoctor for.
But I just don't feel my best.
I'm chronically tired.
I have brain fog.
All these things.
And I was like, wow, that isfascinating.
The moment I found out aboutbreast implant illness, it took
me a solid two years to reallyprocess.
I went to therapy to come toterms with, okay, we are taking
(13:23):
away your blankie.
All your insecurities are comingback.
What are my boobs going to looklike once they're out?
What's the surgery going to belike?
Am I going to hate myself?
Am I going to be left withnothing?
Are people going to still findme attractive?
What is my husband going tothink?
All these things just cameflooding back.
And it took me about two yearsto really decide, okay, this is
what I'm going to do.
(13:43):
I also, as a platform, I teach.
Body acceptance and bodypositivity, and I felt like the
biggest hypocrite to becompletely 100 percent honest.
Here I am preaching about loveyourself, love your body, accept
your body, don't change it, loveit, or care for it, and here I
am having breast implants as I'mpreaching this.
(14:05):
And so that was a huge red flagfor me where I was like, I can't
be preaching this and feel this,you know, strongly about self
love and body acceptance when Ihave clearly altered my body.
Ashley (14:16):
I think sometimes it's easier to help other people or,
give advice to other people, seeother people in, like, a
beautiful way than we seeourselves.
So I think that it's so normalto be like that.
And I think the idea of, likeyou said, we really want boobs.
So to put them in the idea ofhaving to take them out, it does
(14:37):
almost bring, like, Such weirdfeelings because you already
felt a certain way about likeyour pre surgery boobs that then
to have to sort of figure outlike, okay, post surgery boobs,
like really, what does that looklike?
And sometimes the symptom listmakes it easier, but then
sometimes it really doesn't.
Like surgery, no matter what itis, is scary.
(14:57):
And it's hard.
And I think what a lot of peopledon't realize when they get
breast surgery.
implants is that it isn't alifetime device that you are
kind of committing to ongoingsurgeries where I kind of knew
that going in, but I neverreally considered actually
having more surgeries or I justfigured something would
drastically have to go wrong.
For me to actually do it andthen to factor in the price and
(15:21):
stuff on top of it.
So it is so much and I thinkeven with the breast implant
illness symptoms because itisn't a medically recognized
condition.
Doctors aren't even trained toeven consider that as a
possibility of what could becausing symptoms.
And then as women, I feel like.
to some degree we gaslightourselves.
(15:42):
Oh, I'm sure it's just stress.
I'm sure it's like a hormonalthing.
I'm sure it's age and it doesn'tnecessarily come to this black
and white.
Oh, it must be this.
It really is until you look atthe symptoms and you really
think I could have like 20things that I had no idea that
my implants were causing andeven though they say that breast
(16:04):
implant illness doesn't exist orbecause it's not medically
recognized, it is so insane howcommon the symptoms are between
so many people that choose toget implants that, you know, to
recognize it as not a conditionis just silly at this point.
Brittany (16:22):
It really is.
And that's what kind of led meto going to the surgeon that I
did because he actually doesmore explants and implants, and
he is a huge advocate for BII sothat was like a big indicator
for me because a lot ofsurgeons, as I'm sure you're
aware, you go and you're like,okay, I want to take my breast
(16:43):
implants out and they're like,okay, and they'll do it, but
they'll leave the capsule in.
They won't clean you up properlybecause what a lot of people
don't know is your body builds aprotective capsule around the
implant because essentially itdoesn't matter if they're saline
or silicone.
All implants are coated insilicone.
It is poisonous to your bodyperiod.
(17:03):
So your body builds thisprotective capsule around your
implant to protect it.
Any infected tissue that is notremoved from your body.
BII stays in your body.
So when surgeons just take outthe implant, but leave in
basically, you know, bad tissue,that is so irresponsible.
And it makes me angry.
It's like, here we are.
(17:25):
You're supposed to be a healthprofessional.
I know you're a plastic surgeon,but like, come on, you can
clearly see that this tissue isdamaged.
And infected, and you're goingto leave that in a woman's body.
And so, whenever someone asks meabout explant surgery, I'm
always like, make sure they takeout the capsule.
And my surgeon was like, notonly are we taking out the
(17:45):
capsule, we are taking out anyinfected tissue.
So he's like, I'm going tobasically surf your ribs.
I will take out any tissue alongyour ribs without puncturing
your lung that is infected.
And that way, No BII symptoms.
I mean, you'll be completelyclear and that's when I was
like, okay, you're the rightperson.
(18:06):
I don't care how small I am atthis point.
If I'm left with nothing, justget me healthy, get these
fricking things out of me andwe'll take it from there.
Ashley (18:14):
Yeah, it is really scary and you really do have to do
your research to make sure thatyou're getting somebody who can
do it and there are a lot ofresources.
There are a lot of doctors.
It just might mean you have totravel in order to find the
right fit for you.
Yes.
Did you find that once youdecided to explant and you had
everything taken out, did younotice that your symptoms had
(18:37):
kind of disappeared or thatthere was immediate health
changes?
Brittany (18:41):
Oh, my God.
Yes.
So I got out of surgery.
My husband picked me up.
We had about an hour and a halfdrive home, and I hadn't looked
in the mirror.
I mean, you're just have asurgery.
You're barely awake.
And I remember getting home andgoing to the bathroom and I
remember thinking to myself, OhGod, I'm going to look like
hell, you know, because it's abig surgery.
(19:02):
It's a four hour surgery.
They had to do a complete likemuscle reconstruction on me.
Cause it was under the muscle.
There was a lot involved and Iremember looking in the mirror
and I was glowing, glowing.
My eyes were so bright.
My skin was clear.
It was just incredible.
And I remember taking a photoand I posted it in my Instagram
(19:23):
and I remember sending it to afriend and she just couldn't
believe it.
She's like, are you kidding me?
And I'm like, yeah, it's becausemy body's been poisoned for
years and everything, thediscoloration, my skin was more
even, it looked more hydrated.
My eyes were so white, my darkcircles were gone.
And that was the first thing Inoticed.
Ashley (19:42):
It was I could breathe like I could take like a fully
deep breath and I hadn't beenable to breathe like that in
probably 10 years.
Brittany (19:51):
Did you were yours under the muscle or over
Ashley (19:54):
under and they were silicone.
Brittany (19:56):
Okay.
I didn't have that.
I don't know if it's just allthe muscle repair that I mean, I
had to take very shallow breathsfor a long time, but I do
remember feeling.
A huge weight.
off my shoulders mentally andphysically of just being able to
pull my shoulders back.
Cause I don't think peoplerealize when your implants are
(20:17):
under the muscle, your pecs areattached to your shoulder.
So a lot of women have a lot ofpostural issues.
And I remember finally beingable to roll my shoulders back
and going like, Oh my God, thisis incredible.
Ashley (20:31):
It really does make a huge difference.
I find for me, my healingafterwards, it was almost like,
Three steps forward, two stepsback.
So it definitely is still aprocess like getting them out is
so important.
But there was some things thatwent away right away.
And then there was other thingsthat were sort of lingering and
are taking longer to actuallyheal.
Brittany (20:52):
Yeah, I would say my brain fog was gone immediately.
I hadn't been able to think.
That clearly in the years, and Iwas on a lot of meds too.
So the fact that I was thatclear on a lot of meds, I think
says a lot.
So, I mean, it was just, I feltway more relaxed.
It was like, yeah, just a hugeweight off my shoulders.
I'm like, thank God, like thisis over.
(21:14):
I had never had other thangetting my implants.
And, you know, I was much, muchmore of a process and then
longer healing.
Phase.
So I was really, really nervousgoing into surgery.
So I think I was just sofreaking relieved to have it
done and like, okay, cleanstart.
Here we go.
And I really thought I was goingto battle with how I looked.
(21:37):
I thought, you know, I wouldhate myself or really all those,
you know, thoughts of insecuritywould come back, but I actually
didn't.
I remember looking in the mirrorand going like, Oh yeah, this is
what my body's supposed to looklike.
This is so much better.
This is great.
Ashley (21:52):
I think sometimes that healing when you actually factor
in your health of like, okay,this, I didn't realize it was
affecting me this much to be onthe other side of it and to
actually feel better and to beable to move your body in a way
that doesn't feel asconstricted.
I feel like all of those thingsend up having a bigger impact
than What you look like,
Brittany (22:13):
yeah, for sure.
And I think from a physicalstandpoint, if we're going to
talk about how our bodies look,it looked like I lost 15 pounds.
My inflammation went.
Way down.
I naturally lost about 10lbs.
I just had so much inflammationin my body.
So I got into surgery.
It took about a year for me tolose that 10lbs for the
(22:36):
inflammation to go down and Iwas like, okay, so I get my
implants out.
I look longer and leaner thanever.
My skin's glowing.
My eyes are brighter.
I'm crushing it right now.
Like, I actually felt reallygood, you know, versus like,
yeah, it was a really surprisingexperience for me.
(22:57):
I was like, okay, I'll takethis.
This is a great reward for doingthe work and getting over my
insecurities.
Like, I actually think I lookbetter now.
This is great.
Ashley (23:05):
I love that.
I love the fact that it's youcan lean into both sides and to
be able to do the work to beable to sort of not miss that
part, because I think that, wecan't always go to the problem
for the solution.
And if the problem lives withinus that we really do need to
seek professional help.
So I think it's great that youdid the work and then you were
able to find that self lovewithin yourself.
Brittany (23:27):
Yeah, that's vital for me.
The days of toxic thinking andtearing myself apart.
I won't say they're gone becauseI think it's something we will
continue to battle with.
I just know how to fight itbetter.
I have the tools.
I don't let it overwhelm mythoughts.
I can reframe my thinking prettyquickly now.
So not going to say that I don'thave days where they're like.
(23:49):
Not loving myself, but they'redefinitely not the days of when
I had an eating disorder when Ilook in the mirror crying and
hold myself and just hateeverything about myself.
I hated myself at a level.
That was, I look back was scary.
It was really scary,
Ashley (24:06):
which it's.
Powerful that at least you canacknowledge that and whether you
got help for it right away orwhether it was a process, I
think good for you for beingbrave enough to lean into that
and to know that you didn't haveto stay stuck there, that you
didn't have to be, you know,self hating, that there is
always another way.
Brittany (24:26):
Yeah, you guys have to fight for it.
I mean, changing yourself andthe way you think and the way
you see yourself.
I mean, that's hard work.
This came with 10 years of meconsistently, every day,
reframing my thoughts.
Every time I'd think a negativethought, I'd replace it with a
positive one.
This sounds so ridiculous, but Icouldn't stand seeing myself
naked.
(24:47):
I would hide from the mirror orput on clothes or a robe as I
was getting ready.
And one of the things thatreally helped me feel more
comfortable with looking at mybody was I forced myself to get
ready naked.
Like, I'd blow dry my hairnaked, I would, you know, do my
makeup naked because I justwanted to get comfortable being
in my body.
And as a dancer, as someone thatgrew up being able to control
(25:09):
their body to amazing extents,you know, the fact that I could
do all that, but didn't feelcomfortable within myself was
just really odd to me.
So I'm like, okay, I want to beable to feel comfortable just
being, and that really helpedme, really helped.
Ashley (25:25):
I think the exposure therapy is a great idea, and I
think it helps you not pickapart the little parts in the
same way or to become moreaccepting of the things that
maybe you would pick apart.
Mm hmm.
I also think I'm not sure if youknow who Alicia McCarville is.
But she is somebody who lives ina larger body.
(25:46):
Her husband is quite athleticand stereotypically, a lot of
people think that they aren't agood match just because she's
quite large and he's quitetraditionally attractive.
So what she kind of did is shefound herself in the same path
of like hating her body, beingreally depressed, not wanting to
go outside, not wanting to meetnew people Kind of hid herself
(26:10):
for a long time.
So what she did is she got justlike a dollar store notepad and
she started writing downsomething that she loved about
herself that had nothing to dowith her body or her appearance.
And then by the time she hadfilled the whole book, which
again, wasn't an overnightthing, it took her a really long
time.
She really realized that I mighthave fat thighs, but I'm a
(26:33):
really good listener or I'm areally great friend.
Learn to love herself as aperson, not just as the vessel
that she lived in.
And I think for people to, ifthey're fighting to have that
self love or even that just bodyneutrality, something like that
might be beneficial as well,too.
Brittany (26:52):
For sure.
I definitely did that as well.
I would put sticky notes allaround my house.
In my kitchen cupboards.
So every time I ate, you know,it was like, you're worthy of
eating.
Every time I got a coffee, everytime, you know, I looked in the
mirror, there was a stickynotes, and so I did something
very similar where I fullyimmersed myself into my growth
(27:14):
and it's a choice and that's adedication and when you really,
really want it, when you reallywant something, you will go to
the ends of the earth and makeit happen.
I think that's where women cansometimes get stuck because we
all want to feel good aboutourselves.
Of course, we want to supportother women.
Of course, we want to feelgreat.
Of course, you know, self loveand all the things that are so
(27:35):
popular to preach about, but howmany of them actually do the
work to heal so much easier topreach.
And that's why, I mean, I feltlike a hypocrite preaching
about.
body acceptance and I hadchanged myself.
It was like, no, this can't be athing.
I am ready to become me again.
And to feel whole with what I ampreaching to women about,
Ashley (27:56):
I think maybe it's like, Helping other people first is
what gives us permission to belike, if they can do it, I can
do it too, because I think thatthe more that we create safe
spaces where not only are weprojecting the energy that we
want, whether it is, you know,body neutrality, self love, self
(28:16):
acceptance.
I think it's like the more weput out, the more we get it
back.
So it's creating that safe spaceof okay, I did it for them.
I helped them.
Now, what can I do for myself?
And then also creating thatcommunity that not only are you
helping other people, but you'vealso created a situation where
people know that about you,you've created that space where
you can be that for them.
(28:37):
And they can kind of be that foryou, even though you are.
Essentially the serviceprovider, but it's like, yeah,
unity.
Brittany (28:46):
Totally.
I felt like I had come such along way in my self love journey
that getting my implants out waslike the last step, not to say
that I'm going to continue towork on it for the rest of my
life, but my biggest growth, mybiggest going from hating
myself, eating disorder, youknow, all that restriction to
finding a very balancedlifestyle and helping so many
(29:07):
women go through it.
I was like, okay, I'm ready.
This is like the last thing thatI can do for myself to be whole,
to be me again.
Ashley (29:14):
When you were kind of at the end of your journey, is that
where you decided to make wantsand needs clothing or when did
you launch that company?
Brittany (29:22):
So it was probably Wants And Needs has been
something I have sat on for fiveyears now, but a long time it's
always been a dream of mine.
So I wouldn't say that's whatpushed me to start it.
I obviously being a women'shealth and fitness coach, I am
just around women all the timethat hate themselves or want to
change things or pick themselvesapart.
(29:43):
I remember being there.
And I also know how hard it isto be a woman in today's society
where so much is shoved in ourfaces, every skincare line is,
you know, want to look younger,don't even get me started on
aging, but like.
Heaven forbid we actuallyaccept, you know, aging because
every single one of us on theplanet ages.
(30:05):
We can only fight it so much.
Why it's so bad.
I have no idea.
So I really wanted to change thesocietal standard of beauty.
I wanted to photograph realwomen and show these women are
stunning.
Doesn't matter the age, thesize, the shape, the cellulite,
the stretch marks.
(30:25):
The whatever things that societywould deem as not right, or you
need to fix it.
I wanted to show it in the mostbeautiful way possible.
It's probably a combination oflike my own self love journey
and coming into myself.
I wouldn't necessarily tie it tomy explant though, if that makes
sense.
Ashley (30:43):
For sure.
Can you tell me a little bitabout the type of clothing that
you carry?
Brittany (30:50):
It's definitely more casual.
I basically wanted to start offwith two items because if
anybody knows starting aclothing line is extremely hard
and extremely expensive, so Ididn't have the resources to
start a full clothing line rightoff the bat.
I kind of wanted to test themarket.
Let's get it out there.
Let's see what it does.
People take to it and it startsto evolve and great.
(31:13):
I can add on.
So I am a T shirt girl.
through and through.
I live in t shirts, I dress themup, dress them down, so having a
really good graphic tea wasimportant to me.
And then the 2nd 1 is I love agood sweatshirt, but I also
wanted to feel a little bit moreelevated.
I didn't want it to feel likelounge wear.
I wear it with my leather pants.
(31:34):
I wear it with jeans.
I wear it around the house withwork clothes.
Like, I really wanted it to beversatile.
I worked in fashion most of mylife as well.
It's been a huge passion ofmine.
So that was so much fun toreally create things that I
loved personally, and it couldreally reflect my style.
I also felt like anything thatwas like pro body positivity,
(31:55):
love yourself as a little bubblegum for me.
I dress a little bit more, Iwouldn't say edgy, but I love
jeans, t shirts, leather,blazers, like I love elevated
chic style.
I really wanted to kind of blendthose two worlds together, have
two really beautiful pieces thatmean so much and can make such a
(32:15):
statement without the cheese.
Ashley (32:18):
Absolutely.
Because I do think that.
Self care and self love and bodypositivity.
All of it has become such abuzzwords and have become almost
like marketing schemes for a lotof industry that don't really
stand behind anything.
They've almost sort of likegreenwashed that industry.
So it is really nice that like,you can have somebody where
(32:40):
maybe an older lady that haswrinkles wearing the same t
shirt or somebody who's plussize wearing the same t shirt.
And it's just kind of nice toknow that it's for every body.
Without it having to be likewithout like a bit.
Brittany (32:54):
Yeah, exactly.
I just really wanted to showcasethe images.
We spent two years shooting realwomen.
These women volunteered to dothe shoots with us, knowing that
they were going to be potential,artwork.
It was just so incredible towatch these women.
Obviously, you're in a studiowith Jennifer, who's my partner
(33:14):
in this.
She's an amazing, amazingphotographer.
She's so special and sotalented.
So it's usually the two of us ina room with our model a.
K.
A real woman.
No models are photographed inthis.
And it's amazing.
Like, this is very vulnerable.
We're showing our bodies and.
(33:36):
They've never modeled beforeeither.
So not only am I asking you tobe half naked, you know,
learning how to move your bodyis also a lot it was really cool
to watch each woman get more andmore settled with themselves and
go from very nervous to justliving in their bodies.
I get emotional after everysingle shoot because every woman
(33:57):
is just like, that was such agift.
Thank you so much.
We send them all the images andwe make sure that the images
that we're using are approved bythem and they feel comfortable
with it, but like how special toget this free photo shoot.
Get all these amazing images.
We shot a mother and a baby andthose are some of my favorite,
like, it's so special.
So intimate.
And you're just like, this isreal.
(34:18):
This is like what real womenlook like.
It's gorgeous.
Ashley (34:22):
I think we crave that real.
I feel like we haven't had itlong enough that it's like that
is what we want to see.
I think for a lot of people,once you have that experience of
feeling so special and feelingso confident, I feel like it's
almost the spark that jumps youforward.
Like that can inspire you to belike, I love feeling like this.
I'm capable of feeling likethis.
(34:43):
How am I going to continue?
Making this more of my realityand like incorporating this into
my lifestyle.
Brittany (34:50):
Absolutely.
It's extremely empowering.
Ashley (34:53):
Are your clothes strictly online or are you in
any brick or mortar?
Brittany (34:59):
Not in any brick or mortar yet.
We just launched in June.
So we're a brand new business.
So I'm mostly doing it online.
I try to do as many pop upevents and trade shows.
Like, I am in the new businesshustle right now.
I'm not going to lie.
I am coming to terms with howinvolved this is to really get a
(35:21):
brand out there.
I have a new respect for newbusiness owners that have made
something for themselves becausedamn, it's challenging.
I think with social media, too,there's a lot of companies that
don't put out great products.
I think at 1 time or another,we've all been scammed or
receive something that's like,really crappy.
So I think a lot of people aremore hesitant to buy online.
(35:43):
So I think it's just aboutbuilding up, that trust with
our, followers and with ourclients that we do have great
products.
It was also really important forme to offer a product that's
sustainable and made in LA.
That was a non negotiable forme.
I think self care is one thing,but that also translate to how
(36:05):
we treat everything and everyonearound us.
So making sure that we're caringfor our environment was vital
for me.
So even the packaging isbiodegradable.
Everything is eco friendly.
Ashley (36:16):
I think it's so important to be, sustainable
like that.
I think coming out of thepandemic or during the pandemic,
we kind of realized when storesweren't being stocked the same
or when we couldn't find thesame product.
I think it really opened oureyes to realize.
Where is our products comingfrom?
Why can't we get them here nowand really start to focus on
(36:38):
shopping local shopping inplaces that were made close to
where we live or where we liveso that we are factoring in.
If I'm ordering this, you know,$5 shirt from somewhere.
And it's being shipped from theother side of the world, I'm
thinking about the freightcosts.
I'm thinking about, that truckthat drove it from whatever
warehouse to my house, all ofthis sort of carbon footprint of
(37:01):
where our products come from.
And that's not to say, like,don't order online and don't
have something shipped, but it'sreally just factoring in, is
this something that, you know,is important that I can get
local?
Is it something that.
Is sustainable.
Is it something that'sbenefiting?
Women makers that are making ita substantial way.
All of those things I think arereally important because it does
(37:24):
matter if we are polluting ourearth or what we're leaving
behind.
Brittany (37:29):
100%.
I really wanted people to knowthat they aren't just buying an
amazing, great quality,sustainable item.
It's also, it's a clearconscience.
We also donate 5 percent of allour proceeds to three women's
organizations that we partnerwith.
So we just really want to giveback.
(37:49):
We want to care for ourselves,care for others, and make an
impact in the world.
I just think.
It's time.
Ashley (37:57):
It's really important to have that value system.
I think more companies need tohave that.
And I think more companies needto really think about
sustainability and that donationpiece.
It's not easy for a newbusiness, obviously, to donate
anything, but I think whenyou're a massive corporation, I
feel like you could be doingmore without asking your
consumers to, donate at the tilor things like that.
Brittany (38:20):
For sure.
So when I went through themanufacturing process, which is
a whole learning curve theyactually damaged about 50
sweatshirts.
The images were misprinted orthey were just not right.
It looks like there was somebleeding, they were faded and it
was heartbreaking.
It's heartbreaking to invest somuch money and there's nothing
(38:40):
to protect me.
As a buyer from the company.
So here I am stuck with 50shirts that cost a lot of money
to make and I couldn't doanything with them.
So I decided to donate thembecause I'm like, they're not
hideous.
I'm not gonna sell them on mysite for a standard I live by,
(39:02):
but at least I can donate them.
We partner with Dress forSuccess.
So, you know, donating themthere was, meaningful to be able
to partner with them and just beable to at least give back so
they're not going to waste.
Ashley (39:14):
I definitely agree with you.
How frustrating when it is stuffthat's out of your control, it's
one thing.
It's like if you oopsie, it'slike, okay, I messed up, but to
purchase something and thenyeah, to have your hands tied
because of quality control as anew business, I can imagine how
incredibly stressful that is.
Brittany (39:31):
Yeah, it's been a really trying year.
I guess the positive thing thathas come out of it is I've
learned so much about myself.
I've really learned that I needto slow down in making
decisions.
I really need to manage mystress, manage my anxiety,
because I like verged on mentalbreakdown.
It was so much stress and somuch money going out.
(39:52):
And then to receive the productthat you've worked two years on,
and there's mistakes on it.
I was gut wrenched, gutwrenched.
And it was just a reallyvaluable lesson of like, okay,
here we go.
This is just the beginning.
Worst things are going tohappen.
You know, business owners, Imean, have to be tough and you
have to be able tocompartmentalize.
And it's just really been such avaluable lesson and a growth
(40:15):
experience for myself to golike, okay, Brittany, you gotta
like, you have some work to doin the stress department.
We gotta manage the anxietybetter.
We got to find better boundarieswith work and personal life, you
know, and I would say I'm aworkaholic.
It's hard to put your passionsdown sometimes.
Ashley (40:33):
I definitely agree with that.
And I think that it's also soawesome to take the challenge.
How many people want to start abusiness or have an idea and
they're just too scared or theytalk themselves out of it.
So no matter what the overalloutcome of it is, at least you
were brave enough to start thecompany, to take the chance and
see what it could be.
Brittany (40:55):
And tying back to, you know, my self love journey and
my confidence journey.
If this was five years ago, likeI said, it took me five years to
start this business.
It took me years to gain theconfidence to go.
You know what?
I think I have something here.
I think I can create an impactin this world.
I think I can help women..
(41:16):
Let's just fricking go for it.
If it was five years ago, Iwouldn't have done it.
I didn't do it.
It took me a long time to getthe confidence to do it.
So this isn't just anotherclothing line to me.
This is growth for myself.
It's proving to myself that Ican do it.
There's so many things tied toit.
It's a billion things in one.
Ashley (41:37):
I also think like how inspiring for people to realize,
like, even if you do have thisidea, Five years, 10 years, 15
years.
Like it doesn't mean that it'stoo late.
You can always try a newproject.
You could always try a newactivity.
You can always.
Find something to betteryourself whether you're coming
to these realizations at 30, 40,50, you're still capable of
(42:00):
trying and doing all of thesethings.
It's really inspiring whenwomen.
Or people are just hearing yourstory to know, okay, Hey, like
it took her five years and shestill ended up doing this thing,
or it took her 10 years todecide that she felt
comfortable, wearing a bathingsuit or whatever the thing is
that I just think sometimes weget in the mindset of like, I,
(42:24):
had to do high school and thencollege and then get married and
then have two kids and a dogand.
Just live my life this way, butI just think it's so important
that people can realize thatyour journey can zigzag all over
the place and you can still behappy, healthy, and successful
at the end of it.
Brittany (42:41):
Really well said.
And I couldn't agree more.
I just actually did a whole poston this.
You know, at 21, I got married.
I moved to Scotland at 23.
I got divorced, moved back toCanada, didn't know what I was
going to do was a dancer.
I'm like, okay, I was alreadypersonal training at the time,
but I'm like, okay, I'm going togo travel.
I'm going to dance on a cruiseship.
(43:03):
And that's where I met myhusband.
And then I moved to Portland.
I moved to the States, wentthrough immigration, went
through periods of time where Icouldn't work because going
through the immigration processwouldn't allow me to because I
was waiting on my working visa.
And just like ping pongingaround, going through the
biggest growth in my life,starting my personal training
business on my own, not in a gymand then working the way up to
(43:24):
gain confidence.
So like start a clothing lineand then this could work.
Maybe it doesn't.
You know, maybe my clothing linedoesn't take off, but I didn't
want to sit back and one daywhen I'm 50 wonder, could I have
done it?
I couldn't live.
So it was worth taking thechance for me, whether it's
(43:45):
successful or not.
Ashley (43:47):
I love that.
I really do hope it'ssuccessful.
Like I didn't mean like, but Ido love the fact that like,
whether all of these things Endup not being the way that we
want them to.
It's like to have that mindsetof I'm okay.
No matter what, like I tried it,it went great or it didn't work
great.
I joined this career and then Ipivoted to this.
(44:09):
Like no matter what, it's likejust having that love within
yourself.
Of knowing that all of thoseoutside things don't define you
Brittany (44:19):
Yeah, I think society loves for us to focus on one
thing, you know, you go toschool and it's for one thing
and it doesn't matter what yourother interests are.
You're going to go becomedoctor, go through that school
and you're like, wow, I'm adoctor now.
And you start practicing andyou're like, well, fuck, I don't
want to be a doctor.
What do I do?
And I think a lot of a lot of myclients, a lot of people we know
(44:42):
end up having this.
Career change in their fortiesand fifties, because one, you're
more whole, you've a betterunderstanding of yourself.
You often are more aligned withyour passions and you know
yourself better.
So you're like, wow, why that'sgreat that I became a doctor.
That was a lot of work, gainsome experiences there, but it's
(45:02):
not what I'm passionate about.
And that career change isbecoming more and more popular.
Ashley (45:08):
Yeah, because I think we realize that we don't have to
fit one mold anymore and youdon't have to settle and if you
make a mistake, like you're notdefined by that mistake, you
don't have to live in it.
There's so many differentavenues and opportunities for
people that it's like, they justhave to be brave enough to take
that chance.
Brittany (45:26):
I think sharing too.
I know even when it comes tosocial media, like the algorithm
doesn't like you having multipleinterests.
It doesn't know where to putyou.
That's something I struggle withbecause I'm like, yes, I'm a
personal trainer nutritionist.
I am so passionate and I'm verygood at what I do, but I also
love beauty.
I was a makeup artist for years.
(45:47):
But I've also worked in fashionmy whole life.
I've gone to fashion week.
I've worked with major brands.
I've worked as a stylist.
Like I have so many things tooffer and things that I love,
but the algorithm pigeonholesyou, which is like what society
does.
Like heaven forbid you have morethan one thing that you love to
do or that you're good at.
(46:08):
And I think the biggest thingfor me is for a long time, I
felt like I had to choose.
And I'm like, okay, well, mybusiness, personal training and
nutrition, I mean, that's likemy bread and butter.
I'm like, we're going to focuson that.
And for a really long time, Ifelt not fulfilled because I was
ignoring probably my bestquality, which is my creativity,
(46:31):
my creative brain.
That's who I am as a dancer, asan artist and fashion as a
makeup artist.
I was ignoring that.
And it wasn't until I startedwants and needs and finally
starting to fulfill that side ofmyself, but I felt a whole new
light inside me.
And I'm like, oh, wow, I've beensuppressing this for years
because I thought I had to, andI just want people to know,
(46:53):
like, you can do more than 1thing.
You can follow your passions andstill have your mind thought you
have your side hustles a phrasefor a reason.
You can have our side hustlesand your hobbies and the things
that bring you joy.
Don't give those up.
Those are probably the thingsthat you're going to succeed in
the most.
Ashley (47:10):
It's really when you show your authentic side, like
the algorithm is so annoying inthe sense that like, whether you
niche down, whether you have 10content pullers, they'll switch
it up for you.
You'll become an expertphotographer and you'll have all
your followers and then they'lldecide that you have to do reels
and everything has to be video.
So it's like, yeah, you cannever.
(47:31):
You have to be so carefulcatering to fitting into those
molds, like you said, becausethey'll change them on you once
you think you have it.
So it's like you kind of justhave to put it all out there and
hope that your audience sort ofconnects with you that way,
which will drive the algorithm.
But it is super helpful.
Brittany (47:48):
I think we're in.
A day and age where so manypeople have so many multiple
things to offer and it's like,why not?
Why not just put yourself outthere and it's usually your
passions that, people can pickup on and see, and you know,
they can feel it from you, whichends up making you more
successful anyway.
Ashley (48:08):
We all have those differences or like those things
that we think are weird aboutus.
And it's like, we try again totry to fit into.
Oh, you know, Brittany's doingthis.
I should do it too.
Where it's like your weirdnessis what makes you so special and
will probably help you find yourpassion a little bit easier than
being concerned what the nextperson is doing
Brittany (48:27):
yeah.
I think for years I was reallylike when I'm going through the
phase of like, okay, Brittany,you have to choose personal
training.
This is your goal.
This is what you're going tofocus on.
This is what your social mediais going to be.
This is what you're doing fulltime, which I am doing in full
time.
But I was a little bit worried,I'm like, what if I start
sharing my other passions arepeople not going to take me as
seriously as a personal trainerand nutritionist.
(48:50):
If I start sharing these things,those thoughts did go through my
mind.
And eventually I was like, well,whatever, this is me.
I'm really good at what I do,but I also love this too.
Whatever.
I'm just going to go for it.
If people want to stay andlisten and watch, then cool.
People want to unfollow mebecause I talk about explant
(49:10):
surgery or body positivity, thengood for them.
Ashley (49:14):
Well, that's the thing.
It's like, you kind of just haveto, like, if they unfollow them,
they weren't meant for youanyways, but it's like, okay,
bye.
Yeah.
If people wanted to work withyou on the personal training or
nutritionalist side, do you workin person or online or both?
Brittany (49:30):
I do both.
So if you're in Portland, I cantake clients here in person.
I guess the huge gift aboutCOVID is I think people got way
more comfortable with virtual.
So even my Portland clients arelike, I don't want to drive that
traffic.
Let's just do it from home.
You know, Sweet.
That's great.
I have a very close connectionwith all my clients.
(49:52):
It's a very vulnerable process,and we nine times out of 10 end
up becoming very close friends.
So I like to be very real withmy clients.
So if you want to work out yourpajamas, sweet.
But, yeah, so you can work outwith me virtually or in person,
whatever suits you best.
And then my personal trainingalso comes with nutrition, but I
also offer nutrition as a sidejust in case people just want to
(50:15):
focus on that 1st, or maybe, Imean, we always have to take
into consideration personaltraining and having a
nutritionist is a luxury.
So, maybe they can't afford thepersonal training, but they
still want to make improvementson the health.
At least I can do the nutrition.
Ashley (50:30):
It's awesome to have the different options.
Can you tell people if they'relooking for you online where
they can find you?
Brittany (50:37):
Yes, they can find me@brittanyvenner.com.
That's my website, and then myhashtag urin site.
My hashtag, what is it calledfor social media?
Your hand.
That is what I was trying tosay.
It's just at Brittany Venner.
Ashley (50:53):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much forhaving this conversation with me
today.
Brittany (50:57):
Thank you so much for having me.
This is so wonderful.
Thank you so much for joining ustoday for this episode of the
filled up cup podcast.
Don't forget to hit subscribeand leave a review.
If you like what you hear, youcan also connect with us at
filledupcup.Com.
Thanks again for tuning in andwe'll catch you in the next
(51:19):
episode.
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