January 31, 2024 • 29 mins
In FilTrip’s first episode of Season 3, Carmina and Patch discuss some of the Philippines’ slowly fading traditions. Adding to the episode’s depth are conversations with two special guests, who add perspective to this very important topic. Join Carmina and Patch as they explore origins of some rituals, possible reasons for their slow demise, and what we can all do to keep them alive.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carmina (00:00):
Okay. State your name and your age.
Dante (00:03):
Dante Escara . I'm seven years old.
Carmina (00:06):
And what grade are you in?
Dante (00:08):
Second grade.
Carmina (00:09):
What do you think it means when Lala asks you to
bless?
Dante (00:13):
I have no idea what, You have an idea.
Carmina (00:18):
You know what it's called in Tagalog, right ?
Dante (00:20):
Yeah.
Carmina (00:20):
What?
Dante (00:21):
I don't know what it's called.
Carmina (00:23):
It's called Mano .
Dante (00:24):
Okay.
Carmina (00:25):
Why do you think Lala asks you to do that?
Dante (00:28):
I don't know.
Carmina (00:29):
In the Philippines, it's a sign that you respect
your elders.
Dante (00:33):
Okay.
Carmina (00:34):
Why do you think she asks you to do that? Just
because,
Dante (00:38):
Just because it's shows you respect to and elder .
Carmina (00:42):
Right. And you respect Lola, right?
Dante (00:44):
Yeah.
Carmina (00:45):
So every time you see her, she doesn't even need to
ask you to do it, you just doit, right? Yeah. Ask. Welcome
to Filtrip, a podcast where weexplore everything fun, weird,
and in between about thePhilippines. Hi Patch.
Patch (01:08):
Hi, Carmina.
Carmina (01:10):
Welcome to 2024 and Filtrip's third season.
Patch (01:15):
I was thinking Carmina.
If we were welcoming someone inour home, we would generally
say kumain ka na ba? .
Have you eaten ? Yes.
Carmina (01:26):
And boy, did we eat during the holiday season.
Patch (01:29):
I just came to mind because obviously , uh, the
topic that we're going to talkabout now is Filipino
traditions.
Carmina (01:36):
Today's trip is about fading Filipino traditions. And
the clip that you heard is mynephew Dante, who's seven years
old. I thought it would be agood beginning to our episode
from the perspective of a7-year-old who is a Filipino
American. I was just curiouswhether he knew what the
(01:57):
gesture was that he was doing,which kind of establishes some
of our assumptions aboutwhether the younger generation,
especially the youngergeneration growing up here,
understand the customs thatwe're trying to introduce in
their lives.
Patch (02:11):
First of all, I'm glad to learn that your family is
still practicing this customof, uh, mano po Mm-Hmm. <
affirmative>, which is one ofthe things that we are going to
talk about. And it's reallyimpressive that you are
continuing with that tradition,even though in that clip, of
course, he's seven years old,doesn't really understand.
(02:33):
Having said that, a nd I wassurprised to learn, we have
some similar traditions withour fellow Asian countries,
either kissing o f the hand orputting the hand in the
forehead as a sign of respect.
Carmina (02:48):
Yeah. So it's salam in Indonesia and bersalam in
Malaysia. Those are the twocountries that I saw a
similarity. And you know, weknow we're a Catholic country,
right? Or predominantlyChristian and Catholic, and
those countries are Islam. Soisn't that interesting?
Patch (03:06):
Your mom mentioned seeing a similar custom in
Turkey. They kiss the handfirst, and then that hand goes
to the forehead to completethat ritual.
Carmina (03:17):
And before you get so impressed with my family,
, we will getto that part when we interview
my mom about some of these ,uh, fading traditions. And our
listeners will understand whymy nephew is now being made to
do this. . Okay, soPatch, let's break down this
mano po. So first of all, thewords mano po literally
(03:41):
translated means your hand,please, in English, if we break
down the steps, right? If youare a younger person, and I was
elderly, you as the youngerperson would say this to me,
mano po, which is a request formy hand, and I, as the elder
would reach my hand out to you,you will put that hand on your
(04:04):
forehead. And I, as the elderin turn, will say, kaawaan ka
ng Diyos, or God bless you.
Patch (04:10):
Generally speaking, you would practice this with an
elder that is at least twogenerations older, typically
not to your mom, let's say evenas a young child, you don't do
man po to your own mom, but youwould do it to your
grandmother.
Carmina (04:28):
It's a very intimate gesture, basically. Okay ?
Patch . So what is the originof this tradition? And like
with a lot of our traditions,there's apparently controversy
about this. The commonly knownwe practice this during the
Spanish colonial period.
Patch (04:48):
I think that's because of what it's called, right? The
term mano means hand inSpanish. Mm-Hmm,
Speaker 1 (04:54):
. But
apparently there are
pre-colonial writings thatdescribe a similar gesture. The
pre-colonial form of mano wasdescribed in these writings as
kneeling and bowing or sittingon your heels in front of those
with authority, taking theirhands and putting them on your
(05:15):
forehead or cheeks. And thereare regional variations to the
term mano po. We should mentionthat Mano po is Tagalog phrase
in Kapangpangan it's calledsiklod in Bisaya it's known as
amin, which is Hindu and Arabicand origins. And then in
Maranao it's called siyong, andin Bicol it's mabisa.
Patch (05:38):
Right? So Carmina why don't we listen to your mom? I
learned a lot of interestingthings from her when she was
talking about this tradition ofmano po and why she decided to
continue this tradition withyour family.
Carmina (05:53):
Okay? Take it away, mom. We're talking about lost
or slowly disappearing Filipinotraditions, and we're
interviewing Marge
Patch (06:04):
. , okay?
So specifically I have aquestion about Batangas , where
you grew up. So for example,pagmamano my daughter, for
example, I never taught herthat. So when she sees her
grandma , she doesn't do that.
So how many more generationswill that tradition not be
(06:27):
passed on to ?
Marge (06:28):
Even in my own family, my own children don't do it
anymore.. I'm not , II've not done it. And I never
also , uh, stress or, ordemanded that they do it.
Carmina (06:42):
So why, why didn't you not demand us? Do it?
Marge (06:45):
Because I thought that it should come from you people,
you know? Okay . It should notbe imposed . Okay ? You should
believe in the value of it, youknow, which probably, probably
you don't realize what itmeant. What what it meant
precisely is the blessing ofthe, of the older people who
have had a wider experience oflife and blessing or pagmamano
(07:09):
means, you know, you're beinggiven that blessing. But
probably I didn't alsounderstand it then. So I
thought it was just a ritual.
So I really didn't stress ittoo until it , it became lost .
. Mm-hmm . . And then eventually when we
meet with relatives, then someof these , uh, younger people
(07:31):
still do it. Just a show ofrespect, but not done
regularly. Like in the family,at least in my family, even
with my other siblings, I don'tsee it being done. It's more of
the, you know, the kissing.
Patch (07:45):
That's the new way of ,
Marge (07:47):
Uh , that's the new way of reading .
Patch (07:48):
Yes.
Carmina (07:50):
So Patch, I have an interesting factoid to share
with you, and I'll ask for yourown experience. How do you know
your elder is mad at you? Andit has to do with the mano
.
Patch (08:04):
I'd like to say that because I was a wonderful
child., I neverexperienced that, but I'm
assuming they skip youwhen you're in line to do the
mano po.
Carmina (08:17):
No, it's actually even more , uh, deep than that.
Patch (08:23):
Oh , I can sense trauma . I can sense trauma .
Carmina (08:26):
. You know,
when they're not mad at you,
they're just going to givetheir hand fully to you. Right?
But what I've experienced in myown life, and it sometimes
didn't even have to be that theelder would be mad at me
sometimes because they were madat my mom. ,
Patch (08:40):
Are you throwing your mom under the bus?
Carmina (08:43):
, as people
will hear later, she's throwing
me under the bus < laugh>. Whensomeone is mad at you and
they're an elder and you taketheir h and to mano, sometimes
they'll just give you the tipof their fingers,,
he'll immediately knowsomething was w rong. And
instead of saying, God blessyou, o r kaawan ka ng Diyos,
(09:06):
silence
Patch (09:09):
, no blessing
for you.
Carmina (09:11):
And that cuts so deep , deep because they are
metaphorically withholdingtheir blessing. It's the
ultimate rejection
Patch (09:20):
That hurts.
Carmina (09:22):
So you've never experienced that, huh?
Patch (09:24):
No, Carmina, believe it or not, some people don't.
Carmina (09:28):
What does that say about me? Anyway, I guess the
next logical thing that we cantalk about is that word right
after mano, which is the wordPo, right?
Patch (09:40):
That's right.
Carmina (09:41):
So mano po is kind of a package deal. Mano is
the gesture, and the po isactually an honorific, po and
opo, which in those two words,there is a slight variation,
right? Because opo is kind ofthe respectful way to say yes.
Po is just something thatpeople add to their statements
(10:03):
like mano po to indicaterespect. Mm-Hmm.
. So Patch when, I wasresearching the origins of po
and opo . There was a plausibleexplanation that I came across
in pre-colonial Philippines. Wetalked about Filipinos
belonging to different classesin society.
Patch (10:23):
Mm-Hmm . .
Carmina (10:24):
And there is a maginoo class.
Patch (10:27):
The maginoo is a term for nobility.
Carmina (10:30):
The maginoo class owned slaves in Pre Hispanic
Tagalog in particular thehonorific used to address the
maginoo is poon or if youtranslate that in English,
roughly translated it meansLord. So when a slave would
address them, they would say,poon, poon ko or my L ord. If
(10:52):
they were in conversation andthe Lord was communicating with
the slave, the response thatthe slave would usually give i
s oo, meaning yes and poonmeaning Lord, the full phrase
would be, oo poon and then itcontracted to o po, which is
the respectful yes. Or just poindicating respect for that
(11:15):
person. Let's hear from momabout this tradition.
Patch (11:21):
Well, we started talking about using po and opo to , um,
answer to our elders or someoneolder than you out of respect
and , I was tellingTita that when I'm talking to
others, yes, I use it, but tobe honest, I forget to , to use
(11:42):
it when I'm talking to my ownmom and apparently so do you
Carmina?
Carmina (11:48):
Yes.
Patch (11:49):
. .
Carmina (11:51):
How about you mom? Did you not lose that with your
parents? I seem to rememberthat loosening too.
Patch (11:59):
Uh , oh.
Marge (11:59):
You know , but, but I lost it when I was older
already. You lost it. Young .
Patch (12:07):
Oh , oh ,
Carmina (12:13):
Snap.
Marge (12:15):
I lost it when, I think when I got married, but not
before that. Not before that.
Carmina (12:21):
I also did not lose it before I was married, .
Anyway, I think as we get olderthough, it's because we're like
getting more familiar, I guess,with our parents and we're
viewing ourselves as more ofequals rather than children.
Patch (12:37):
Probably,
Marge (12:37):
Probably, you know, I think one of the reason too is
that especially my generation,we could not express ourselves.
Our parents is , uh, probablya, a way of saying, you know,
you can treat me, you can, youcan tell me anything rather
than suppressing whatever theywant to say. Because in my
(12:58):
family, we were not allowed toreally express our opinions. I
had one instance, I , I think Iwas 12 or 13 when I really did
express my opinion and I got aslap .
Carmina (13:14):
That cost you .
Patch (13:16):
Yeah. I think that was more a generational thing,
right? Yeah . They werestricter back then.
Marge (13:23):
So I think when it came to my own family , the children
were more, were given moreleeway.
Patch (13:29):
But I think Tita, you should not have given Carmina
leeway.. Okay .
Carmina (13:35):
I took that leeway and made it into a
highway .
Marge (13:41):
She knew when she had to stop .
Patch (13:44):
Okay .
Carmina (13:48):
Wasn't that a little bit spicy patch? I'm sure that
you and the listeners couldhear the defensiveness in my
voice in .
Patch (13:56):
I was about to , I was about to say there was tension.
Carmina (14:01):
On both our sides because I called her out just
as she called me out because Ido remember her also losing
this a little bit, especiallywhen she got to her thirties
and forties. And I wasobserving , uh, you know,
conversations between her andmy grandparents. There
definitely was more of a, afamiliarity in some of their
(14:24):
conversations in my mind. Butof course I would never have
dared mimic that. Right.
Somehow you just knew that whenour parents reached a certain
age, they were kind of morecasual in their conversations
with our grandparents, but thatwe would never, ever be able to
do that or get away with it.
Patch (14:43):
She also mentioned how her generation did not really
talk back, so to speak to theirparents. Mm-Hmm.
. Right . That would beunimaginable as generations
pass . The younger generationwould be more relaxed. Mm-Hmm.
with thesecustoms and traditions and ,
(15:04):
uh, . I think it wasevident in our conversation
with your mom that we are morerelaxed with her and
able to joke around with her alittle bit.
Carmina (15:13):
That's true. So before we leave this topic, did you
read about this anotherapparent controversy that this
term could have also originatedfrom the honorific apo, which
is usually found in the Ilocosregion.
Patch (15:28):
But what is the controversy?
Carmina (15:29):
Apo would be used to refer to somebody like Apo
Whang Od, who i s a veryrespected elder in the Ilocos
region.
Patch (15:38):
Oh, okay.
Carmina (15:40):
Practices still the ritual of tattooing in that
tradition. I read that it'svery unlikely po or opo
originated from apo, you know ,being that the use of the word
apple really has nothing to dowith agreeing with an elder. It
really is just an honorific torefer to somebody.
Patch (16:01):
In relation to status.
Mm-Hmm. .
Carmina (16:04):
And then the other one, there is no equivalent in
Messiah of po or opo. I alsoread that some visayans were
sometimes salty when beingpressured to use this when in
Manila or Luzon.
Patch (16:18):
So they don't have a version of po and opo, as you
know?
Carmina (16:21):
I mean I'm sure they have other ways of respectfully
addressing their elders. Itjust did not use those specific
words.
Patch (16:29):
Okay. All right .
Another interesting thing thatwe talked to your mom about was
the , uh, tradition ofpamamanhikan. Mm-Hmm.
. I'm reallygrateful that we are able to
speak to someone who wentthrough that because courtship
practices like the oamamahikanis not seen or practiced
(16:49):
anymore.
Carmina (16:50):
Yeah. Even in my case, I didn't experience
pamamanhikan really in thetraditional sense.
Patch (16:56):
Me as well. pamamanhikan is a formal meeting between the
families of the prospectivebride and groom. So the man
along with his family wouldvisit the woman's family to
seek their consent andblessings for the union. And
this practice really emphasizesthe importance of family
(17:18):
approval for the union.
Carmina (17:21):
Pamamanhikan roughly translated means to climb.
That's literally what it means.
And it probably originated fromthe act of a suitor, literally
climbing stairs to the entranceof the house of the woman's
family. And apparently there'sa variety in the levels of
formality with this, dependingon region, also depending on
(17:44):
the status of the family. Andit's widely regarded as
a test run of rapport betweenthe suitor first and then the
suitor's family. Second.
Patch (17:56):
Let's listen to your mom. Talk about how your dad
courted her throughpamamanhikan. Yes.
Carmina (18:02):
My origin story, so to speak.
Patch (18:07):
So Tita , so when you were in the courtship stage,
, there's this thingcalled pamamanhikan, right?
Marge (18:15):
Oh yeah. That was a , a major requirement. If somebody
is serious in courting you andthe requirement is to come over
to the house once a week. Yeah.
Oh, okay. And you visit thefamily. And also in my family,
it's only for an hour. Not morethan an hour.
Patch (18:33):
Did your parents know ahead of time? Did they get
permission or did they just ,did they schedule it? No, no.
Marge (18:39):
You have to ask permission, Uhhuh
and say that somebody's comingto visit and they can either
say yes or no. But I guess whenyou say that to them, it's
implied that it's somethingserious.
Carmina (18:54):
So how did you know to do that?
Marge (18:56):
It has always been a practice. They, they believe
that you don't meet in thestreet . You don't date.
Patch (19:02):
. Mm-Hmm.
Marge (19:04):
. You , you have
to.
Patch (19:05):
It's scandalous.
Marge (19:07):
It's scandalous to me .
.
Carmina (19:10):
But how did you know who told you that that was what
you needed to do?
Marge (19:16):
From what you , I mean that's, that has been a given
practice. They probably, theysaid so.
Patch (19:24):
Okay. And also probably it was so common before that
you just see it and then that'swhat everyone does. So you just
continue.
Marge (19:33):
Mm-Hmm. ,
it's expected that the man's
family come, but in my case, itwas only my husband who came.
Mm-Hmm . . He hadno family to bring over.
Mm-Hmm. . It waslike a surprise. But you know,
, at least he came.
Carmina (19:46):
Mom, can you tell the story about the uh, chocolates?
Marge (19:50):
Oh, when you come to visit, you have to bring
something. So my husband usedto bring chocolates and he
brought the local, locally madechocolate. And usually whatever
he, the man brings to share itto the family at dinner. So
when we were eating thechocolate, my mother said, oh ,
this is a local chocolate. Sowhen I talk with my husband, he
(20:14):
said, you have to bring someimported chocolates. .
He began bringing Baby Ruth .
Carmina (20:23):
And then Lola approved
Marge (20:24):
After that . ?
Not really, not yet, but Iguess because she has been
coming weekly. Mm-Hmm?
. I think he didit for a year.
Patch (20:32):
Oh wow. Yeah . Weekly for a year. Okay. Yeah .
Carmina (20:36):
That was a lot of chocolates,.
Marge (20:39):
Then when I was in the province, he would come to
visit travel like for a threehour ride in the bus and then
just have lunch and then goback again .
Patch (20:50):
. Wow. That
that's true. Love . I
don't think that happensanymore . No , no .
Marge (20:59):
It doesn't happen anymore .
Patch (21:00):
Yeah , yeah . Yeah .
Marge (21:01):
And then sometimes it's also a tradition, especially
when it's the first child ofthe family who gets married.
Especially in my case, I wasthe elder , I was the first
one. But , uh, the father wouldrequest the future husband that
when they get married, theystay in the house with them.
Patch (21:19):
Oh Okay. For how long As
Marge (21:21):
As long as you want it .
Patch (21:23):
Oh. So
Marge (21:24):
I , I didn't know about that. That's only when I got
married already that I learnedthat, you know, my father
requested that we stay. So Isaid to my husband, why did you
agree ? Then he said,can I say no, .
Patch (21:36):
Oh that's true.
. So probably you see that
tradition again, notnecessarily because of
tradition, but because ofeconomic reasons, you
have to live with the parents.
Marge (21:53):
Well, in the case, in the case of like for instance,
for uh , for sons who aregetting married and if the son
is not stable, then probablythey might ask that they stay
over.
Patch (22:04):
Right? Exactly. But
Marge (22:06):
In my case it was not.
And I said I was not aware ofit. Mm-Hmm. . And
I said, why did you agree ? . We stayed
there only for one, one year.
That's it. One year.
Patch (22:17):
One year.
Marge (22:18):
Then we left . Yeah .
Patch (22:22):
Okay ,
Carmina (22:22):
Thanks.
Patch (22:23):
Thank you Tita.
Marge (22:24):
You're welcome.
Carmina (22:25):
Thank you Po.
Patch (22:26):
Thank you Paul..
.
Marge (22:32):
Walang ano man. Okay.
Bye
Carmina (22:36):
Bye . The way Patch the chocolate brand snafu that
my father committed. Can youimagine if my mom didn't tell
him about my lola's preferencefor us branded chocolates?
. I would not have beenhere in front of you. .
Patch (22:52):
You have a lot to be grateful for Baby Ruth.
Carmina (22:56):
Exactly. That was my lola's favorite chocolate, I
think.
Patch (23:01):
Oh , we talked about a lot of these courtship rituals
in a previous episode, rightCarmina?
Carmina (23:07):
Yeah, we did talk about it in season two.
Courtship Pinoy Style is thetitle of the episode. So if
people really want to dig intothe pre-colonial Filipino
courtship rituals, listen tothat episode. So Patch, I just
wanted to ask you, since youhave a daughter. Mm-Hmm.
, are you goingto revive this tradition?
Patch (23:28):
Yeah, I was thinking of that. I will insist on it. I
think she would like it. Ithink she is making every
attempt to reconnect with herroots. Mm-Hmm . .
So yeah, absolutely. I wouldrevive it. Especially , uh, the
part where they give , um,gifts.,
Carmina (23:46):
I approve.
Patch (23:48):
Exactly. But take or Mina . During our conversations
with your mom, we also talked alittle bit about how we address
siblings. We talked about kuya,ate.
Carmina (24:00):
O that's right. We address for example, an older
sister ate or an older brotherkuya. That was interesting too.
Patch (24:09):
So apparently kuya is a combination of two Chinese
words ko, which means elderbrother and ah , a term for
kinship and ate from the sameChinese origin plus chi elder
sister.
Carmina (24:26):
Remember when we were talking about Chinese Filipinos
and how they hispanized theirnames? That's why there's a lot
of Chinese Filipinos with nameswith the suffix of Co like
Tantoco or Cojuangco. That isto designate that the origin of
that clan is from an elderbrother of that line.
Patch (24:49):
Oh.
Carmina (24:50):
But I thought it was interesting too that you
mentioned you never practicedthis in your family, right?
Patch (24:56):
No, it is interesting. I mean, I would never address my
older sister as ate. I thinkshe would give me daggers.
looks , daggers.
Carmina (25:06):
Is it because of the number of years between you?
Patch (25:09):
I don't know . We , we never practiced it.
Carmina (25:11):
It's also funny because in Korea, even ours
matter in the way they addresseach other.
Patch (25:18):
Right. So your siblings still use ate until now?
Carmina (25:22):
Oh yeah. Definitely.
And it's so funny because myniece of course now is also an
ate, right?
Patch (25:27):
Oh, right. Mm-Hmm.
.
Carmina (25:28):
So sometimes when we're together and my brother
says ate, oh , and sometimes werespond to him simultaneously,
then he has to clarify who he'stalking to. 'cause he's trying
to model it for my nephew. Andthat's why he calls his
daughter ate. Lots of confusionwhen that happens. . So
(25:48):
before we wrap up the episodePatch, I have a very thought
provoking question for both ofus.
Patch (25:55):
Okay.
Carmina (25:56):
Why do you think all these customs are disappearing?
Patch (26:00):
Well, I really think it , you know, it's one of the
challenges of modernization.
It's getting more difficult topreserve these traditions.
Looking back at recent years,like Covid how did that affect
those who are still practicingMano?
Carmina (26:16):
Mm-Hmm.
,
Patch (26:17):
You know, that disappeared for a while and
then they have to bring itback. So that's one of the
things that happened. Right?
Carmina (26:24):
Right. And I did read that it did have a negative
impact because it's a veryintimate gesture and a very
surefire way of spreading thedisease. Especially during a
time when we were trying toprotect our elders. So if you
can imagine if young kidsdidn't observe it during that
period, it's not really searedinto their memories the way it
(26:47):
was during our time.
Patch (26:49):
Yes. A lot of these traditions really, they don't
necessarily have to be taught,but they have to be seen.
Carmina (26:56):
Mm-Hmm.
, they have to be modeled.
Yeah.
Patch (26:59):
So hopefully more of these traditions are brought
back into the psyche ofFilipinos. Right. And everyday
life.
Carmina (27:08):
And so the other thing too that I read, which I
thought was really funny, butalso very plausible, is the
constant pressure to remainyoung. So on the flip side, the
older generations are the oneswho even don't want to practice
it for this desire to remainyoung. So if these gestures
(27:29):
like the mano po or the po arebeing done, it's a signal that
they are old and some peopledon't want that.
Patch (27:37):
Right.
Carmina (27:38):
And then lastly, I think what I got from the
interview from my mom is evenshe in the beginning didn't
appreciate all of thesetraditions when she was growing
up and didn't think that it wasimportant to instill it in her
family until she got to acertain age. So maybe that's
(27:59):
another reason.
Patch (28:00):
Mm-Hmm. .
It's kind of like leaving alegacy.
Carmina (28:04):
Mm-Hmm..
And you really don't startthinking about that until you
reach a certain part of yourlife.
Patch (28:10):
Yeah . So before
Carmina (28:11):
So before it's too late, Patch. < laugh>.
Patch (28:14):
No , I'm serious .
Carmina (28:15):
Specifically directed to you
Patch (28:17):
. I know. I'm
seriously thinking about these
things. Isn't that one of thereasons why we also wanted to
do this podcast, but weexplore, we remember , and we
also preserve.
Carmina (28:29):
Hopefully pass it on to the younger generation.
Patch (28:33):
Yeah, exactly.
Carmina (28:34):
We just admitted that we're part of the older
generation. So don't besurprised if someone manos you.
. Okay. So with thatPatch, why don't you take us
home?
Patch (28:50):
Opo Carmina .
And with that, that's ourepisode. We hope you join us on
our next trip, .
Carmina (29:07):
O siya, siya.
Patch (29:07):
Ingat po. Thanks for listening to FilTrip with
Carmina and Patch. SupportFilTrip through Patreon or
PayPal. And follow us onInstagram and Twitter.
Subscribe at Apple Podcasts,Spotify, or wherever all
podcasts are downloaded.
Carmina (29:25):
Thanks to Filtrip's sponsor Solepack, a functional
shoe accessory bag. Visit thesoulpack .com for more details.
Patch (29:34):
Email us at the fieldtrip@gmail.com .
Okay. State your name and your age.
Dante (00:03):
Dante Escara . I'm seven years old.
Carmina (00:06):
And what grade are you in?
Dante (00:08):
Second grade.
Carmina (00:09):
What do you think it means when Lala asks you to
bless?
Dante (00:13):
I have no idea what, You have an idea.
Carmina (00:18):
You know what it's called in Tagalog, right ?
Dante (00:20):
Yeah.
Carmina (00:20):
What?
Dante (00:21):
I don't know what it's called.
Carmina (00:23):
It's called Mano .
Dante (00:24):
Okay.
Carmina (00:25):
Why do you think Lala asks you to do that?
Dante (00:28):
I don't know.
Carmina (00:29):
In the Philippines, it's a sign that you respect
your elders.
Dante (00:33):
Okay.
Carmina (00:34):
Why do you think she asks you to do that? Just
because,
Dante (00:38):
Just because it's shows you respect to and elder .
Carmina (00:42):
Right. And you respect Lola, right?
Dante (00:44):
Yeah.
Carmina (00:45):
So every time you see her, she doesn't even need to
ask you to do it, you just doit, right? Yeah. Ask. Welcome
to Filtrip, a podcast where weexplore everything fun, weird,
and in between about thePhilippines. Hi Patch.
Patch (01:08):
Hi, Carmina.
Carmina (01:10):
Welcome to 2024 and Filtrip's third season.
Patch (01:15):
I was thinking Carmina.
If we were welcoming someone inour home, we would generally
say kumain ka na ba?
Have you eaten
Carmina (01:26):
And boy, did we eat during the holiday season.
Patch (01:29):
I just came to mind because obviously , uh, the
topic that we're going to talkabout now is Filipino
traditions.
Carmina (01:36):
Today's trip is about fading Filipino traditions. And
the clip that you heard is mynephew Dante, who's seven years
old. I thought it would be agood beginning to our episode
from the perspective of a7-year-old who is a Filipino
American. I was just curiouswhether he knew what the
(01:57):
gesture was that he was doing,which kind of establishes some
of our assumptions aboutwhether the younger generation,
especially the youngergeneration growing up here,
understand the customs thatwe're trying to introduce in
their lives.
Patch (02:11):
First of all, I'm glad to learn that your family is
still practicing this customof, uh, mano po Mm-Hmm. <
affirmative>, which is one ofthe things that we are going to
talk about. And it's reallyimpressive that you are
continuing with that tradition,even though in that clip, of
course, he's seven years old,doesn't really understand.
(02:33):
Having said that, a nd I wassurprised to learn, we have
some similar traditions withour fellow Asian countries,
either kissing o f the hand orputting the hand in the
forehead as a sign of respect.
Carmina (02:48):
Yeah. So it's salam in Indonesia and bersalam in
Malaysia. Those are the twocountries that I saw a
similarity. And you know, weknow we're a Catholic country,
right? Or predominantlyChristian and Catholic, and
those countries are Islam. Soisn't that interesting?
Patch (03:06):
Your mom mentioned seeing a similar custom in
Turkey. They kiss the handfirst, and then that hand goes
to the forehead to completethat ritual.
Carmina (03:17):
And before you get so impressed with my family,
my mom about some of these ,uh, fading traditions. And our
listeners will understand whymy nephew is now being made to
do this.
mano po. So first of all, thewords mano po literally
(03:41):
translated means your hand,please, in English, if we break
down the steps, right? If youare a younger person, and I was
elderly, you as the youngerperson would say this to me,
mano po, which is a request formy hand, and I, as the elder
would reach my hand out to you,you will put that hand on your
(04:04):
forehead. And I, as the elderin turn, will say, kaawaan ka
ng Diyos, or God bless you.
Patch (04:10):
Generally speaking, you would practice this with an
elder that is at least twogenerations older, typically
not to your mom, let's say evenas a young child, you don't do
man po to your own mom, but youwould do it to your
grandmother.
Carmina (04:28):
It's a very intimate gesture, basically. Okay ?
Patch . So what is the originof this tradition? And like
with a lot of our traditions,there's apparently controversy
about this. The commonly knownwe practice this during the
Spanish colonial period.
Patch (04:48):
I think that's because of what it's called, right? The
term mano means hand inSpanish. Mm-Hmm,
Speaker 1 (04:54):
pre-colonial writings thatdescribe a similar gesture. The
pre-colonial form of mano wasdescribed in these writings as
kneeling and bowing or sittingon your heels in front of those
with authority, taking theirhands and putting them on your
(05:15):
forehead or cheeks. And thereare regional variations to the
term mano po. We should mentionthat Mano po is Tagalog phrase
in Kapangpangan it's calledsiklod in Bisaya it's known as
amin, which is Hindu and Arabicand origins. And then in
Maranao it's called siyong, andin Bicol it's mabisa.
Patch (05:38):
Right? So Carmina why don't we listen to your mom? I
learned a lot of interestingthings from her when she was
talking about this tradition ofmano po and why she decided to
continue this tradition withyour family.
Carmina (05:53):
Okay? Take it away, mom. We're talking about lost
or slowly disappearing Filipinotraditions, and we're
interviewing Marge
Patch (06:04):
So specifically I have aquestion about Batangas , where
you grew up. So for example,pagmamano my daughter, for
example, I never taught herthat. So when she sees her
grandma , she doesn't do that.
So how many more generationswill that tradition not be
(06:27):
passed on to ?
Marge (06:28):
Even in my own family, my own children don't do it
anymore.
also , uh, stress or, ordemanded that they do it.
Carmina (06:42):
So why, why didn't you not demand us? Do it?
Marge (06:45):
Because I thought that it should come from you people,
you know? Okay . It should notbe imposed . Okay ? You should
believe in the value of it, youknow, which probably, probably
you don't realize what itmeant. What what it meant
precisely is the blessing ofthe, of the older people who
have had a wider experience oflife and blessing or pagmamano
(07:09):
means, you know, you're beinggiven that blessing. But
probably I didn't alsounderstand it then. So I
thought it was just a ritual.
So I really didn't stress ittoo until it , it became lost .
meet with relatives, then someof these , uh, younger people
(07:31):
still do it. Just a show ofrespect, but not done
regularly. Like in the family,at least in my family, even
with my other siblings, I don'tsee it being done. It's more of
the, you know, the kissing.
Patch (07:45):
That's the new way of ,
Marge (07:47):
Uh , that's the new way of reading .
Patch (07:48):
Yes.
Carmina (07:50):
So Patch, I have an interesting factoid to share
with you, and I'll ask for yourown experience. How do you know
your elder is mad at you? Andit has to do with the mano
Patch (08:04):
I'd like to say that because I was a wonderful
child.
assuming they skip you
mano po.
Carmina (08:17):
No, it's actually even more , uh, deep than that.
Patch (08:23):
Oh , I can sense trauma . I can sense trauma .
Carmina (08:26):
they're just going to givetheir hand fully to you. Right?
But what I've experienced in myown life, and it sometimes
didn't even have to be that theelder would be mad at me
sometimes because they were madat my mom.
Patch (08:40):
Are you throwing your mom under the bus?
Carmina (08:43):
me under the bus < laugh>. Whensomeone is mad at you and
they're an elder and you taketheir h and to mano, sometimes
they'll just give you the tipof their fingers,
he'll immediately knowsomething was w rong. And
instead of saying, God blessyou, o r kaawan ka ng Diyos,
(09:06):
silence
Patch (09:09):
Carmina (09:11):
And that cuts so deep , deep because they are
metaphorically withholdingtheir blessing. It's the
ultimate rejection
Patch (09:20):
That hurts.
Carmina (09:22):
So you've never experienced that, huh?
Patch (09:24):
No, Carmina, believe it or not, some people don't.
Carmina (09:28):
What does that say about me? Anyway, I guess the
next logical thing that we cantalk about is that word right
after mano, which is the wordPo, right?
Patch (09:40):
That's right.
Carmina (09:41):
So mano po is kind of a package deal.
the gesture, and the po isactually an honorific, po and
opo, which in those two words,there is a slight variation,
right? Because opo is kind ofthe respectful way to say yes.
Po is just something thatpeople add to their statements
(10:03):
like mano po to indicaterespect. Mm-Hmm.
. So Patch when, I wasresearching the origins of po
and opo . There was a plausibleexplanation that I came across
in pre-colonial Philippines. Wetalked about Filipinos
belonging to different classesin society.
Patch (10:23):
Mm-Hmm .
Carmina (10:24):
And there is a maginoo class.
Patch (10:27):
The maginoo is a term for nobility.
Carmina (10:30):
The maginoo class owned slaves in Pre Hispanic
Tagalog in particular thehonorific used to address the
maginoo is poon or if youtranslate that in English,
roughly translated it meansLord. So when a slave would
address them, they would say,poon, poon ko or my L ord. If
(10:52):
they were in conversation andthe Lord was communicating with
the slave, the response thatthe slave would usually give i
s oo, meaning yes and poonmeaning Lord, the full phrase
would be, oo poon and then itcontracted to o po, which is
the respectful yes. Or just poindicating respect for that
(11:15):
person. Let's hear from momabout this tradition.
Patch (11:21):
Well, we started talking about using po and opo to , um,
answer to our elders or someoneolder than you out of respect
and
others, yes, I use it, but tobe honest, I forget to , to use
(11:42):
it when I'm talking to my ownmom and apparently so do you
Carmina?
Carmina (11:48):
Yes.
Patch (11:49):
Carmina (11:51):
How about you mom? Did you not lose that with your
parents? I seem to rememberthat loosening too.
Patch (11:59):
Uh , oh.
Marge (11:59):
You know , but, but I lost it when I was older
already. You lost it. Young
Patch (12:07):
Oh , oh ,
Carmina (12:13):
Snap.
Marge (12:15):
I lost it when, I think when I got married, but not
before that. Not before that.
Carmina (12:21):
I also did not lose it before I was married,
Anyway, I think as we get olderthough, it's because we're like
getting more familiar, I guess,with our parents and we're
viewing ourselves as more ofequals rather than children.
Patch (12:37):
Probably,
Marge (12:37):
Probably, you know, I think one of the reason too is
that especially my generation,we could not express ourselves.
Our parents is , uh, probablya, a way of saying, you know,
you can treat me, you can, youcan tell me anything rather
than suppressing whatever theywant to say. Because in my
(12:58):
family, we were not allowed toreally express our opinions. I
had one instance, I , I think Iwas 12 or 13 when I really did
express my opinion and I got aslap .
Carmina (13:14):
That cost you .
Patch (13:16):
Yeah. I think that was more a generational thing,
right? Yeah . They werestricter back then.
Marge (13:23):
So I think when it came to my own family , the children
were more, were given moreleeway.
Patch (13:29):
But I think Tita, you should not have given Carmina
leeway.
Carmina (13:35):
I took that leeway
highway .
Marge (13:41):
She knew when she had to stop
Patch (13:44):
Okay .
Carmina (13:48):
Wasn't that a little bit spicy patch? I'm sure that
you and the listeners couldhear the defensiveness in my
voice in
Patch (13:56):
I was about to , I was about to say there was tension.
Carmina (14:01):
On both our sides because I called her out just
as she called me out because Ido remember her also losing
this a little bit, especiallywhen she got to her thirties
and forties. And I wasobserving , uh, you know,
conversations between her andmy grandparents. There
definitely was more of a, afamiliarity in some of their
(14:24):
conversations in my mind. Butof course I would never have
dared mimic that. Right.
Somehow you just knew that whenour parents reached a certain
age, they were kind of morecasual in their conversations
with our grandparents, but thatwe would never, ever be able to
do that or get away with it.
Patch (14:43):
She also mentioned how her generation did not really
talk back, so to speak to theirparents. Mm-Hmm.
. Right . That would beunimaginable as generations
pass . The younger generationwould be more relaxed. Mm-Hmm.
(15:04):
uh,
with your mom that we are morerelaxed with her
able to joke around with her alittle bit.
Carmina (15:13):
That's true. So before we leave this topic, did you
read about this anotherapparent controversy that this
term could have also originatedfrom the honorific apo, which
is usually found in the Ilocosregion.
Patch (15:28):
But what is the controversy?
Carmina (15:29):
Apo would be used to refer to somebody like Apo
Whang Od, who i s a veryrespected elder in the Ilocos
region.
Patch (15:38):
Oh, okay.
Carmina (15:40):
Practices still the ritual of tattooing in that
tradition. I read that it'svery unlikely po or opo
originated from apo, you know ,being that the use of the word
apple really has nothing to dowith agreeing with an elder. It
really is just an honorific torefer to somebody.
Patch (16:01):
In relation to status.
Mm-Hmm.
Carmina (16:04):
And then the other one, there is no equivalent in
Messiah of po or opo. I alsoread that some visayans were
sometimes salty when beingpressured to use this when in
Manila or Luzon.
Patch (16:18):
So they don't have a version of po and opo, as you
know?
Carmina (16:21):
I mean I'm sure they have other ways of respectfully
addressing their elders. Itjust did not use those specific
words.
Patch (16:29):
Okay. All right .
Another interesting thing thatwe talked to your mom about was
the , uh, tradition ofpamamanhikan. Mm-Hmm.
speak to someone who wentthrough that because courtship
practices like the oamamahikanis not seen or practiced
(16:49):
anymore.
Carmina (16:50):
Yeah. Even in my case, I didn't experience
pamamanhikan really in thetraditional sense.
Patch (16:56):
Me as well. pamamanhikan is a formal meeting between the
families of the prospectivebride and groom. So the man
along with his family wouldvisit the woman's family to
seek their consent andblessings for the union. And
this practice really emphasizesthe importance of family
(17:18):
approval for the union.
Carmina (17:21):
Pamamanhikan roughly translated means to climb.
That's literally what it means.
And it probably originated fromthe act of a suitor, literally
climbing stairs to the entranceof the house of the woman's
family. And apparently there'sa variety in the levels of
formality with this, dependingon region, also depending on
(17:44):
the status of the family. Andit's widely regarded
a test run of rapport betweenthe suitor first and then the
suitor's family. Second.
Patch (17:56):
Let's listen to your mom. Talk about how your dad
courted her throughpamamanhikan. Yes.
Carmina (18:02):
My origin story, so to speak.
Patch (18:07):
So Tita , so when you were in the courtship stage,
Marge (18:15):
Oh yeah. That was a , a major requirement. If somebody
is serious in courting you andthe requirement is to come over
to the house once a week. Yeah.
Oh, okay. And you visit thefamily. And also in my family,
it's only for an hour. Not morethan an hour.
Patch (18:33):
Did your parents know ahead of time? Did they get
permission or did they just ,did they schedule it? No, no.
Marge (18:39):
You have to ask permission, Uhhuh
and say that somebody's comingto visit and they can either
say yes or no. But I guess whenyou say that to them, it's
implied that it's somethingserious.
Carmina (18:54):
So how did you know to do that?
Marge (18:56):
It has always been a practice. They, they believe
that you don't meet in thestreet . You don't date.
Patch (19:02):
Marge (19:04):
Patch (19:05):
It's scandalous.
Marge (19:07):
It's scandalous to me .
Carmina (19:10):
But how did you know who told you that that was what
you needed to do?
Marge (19:16):
From what you , I mean that's, that has been a given
practice. They probably, theysaid so.
Patch (19:24):
Okay. And also probably it was so common before that
you just see it and then that'swhat everyone does. So you just
continue.
Marge (19:33):
Mm-Hmm.
family come, but in my case, itwas only my husband who came.
Mm-Hmm .
Mm-Hmm.
Carmina (19:46):
Mom, can you tell the story about the uh, chocolates?
Marge (19:50):
Oh, when you come to visit, you have to bring
something. So my husband usedto bring chocolates and he
brought the local, locally madechocolate. And usually whatever
he, the man brings to share itto the family at dinner. So
when we were eating thechocolate, my mother said, oh ,
this is a local chocolate. Sowhen I talk with my husband, he
(20:14):
said, you have to bring someimported chocolates.
He began bringing Baby Ruth
Carmina (20:23):
And then Lola approved
Marge (20:24):
After that .
Not really, not yet, but Iguess because she has been
coming weekly. Mm-Hmm?
Patch (20:32):
Oh wow. Yeah . Weekly for a year. Okay. Yeah .
Carmina (20:36):
That was a lot of chocolates,
Marge (20:39):
Then when I was in the province, he would come to
visit travel like for a threehour ride in the bus and then
just have lunch and then goback again .
Patch (20:50):
don't think that happensanymore . No , no .
Marge (20:59):
It doesn't happen anymore .
Patch (21:00):
Yeah , yeah . Yeah .
Marge (21:01):
And then sometimes it's also a tradition, especially
when it's the first child ofthe family who gets married.
Especially in my case, I wasthe elder , I was the first
one. But , uh, the father wouldrequest the future husband that
when they get married, theystay in the house with them.
Patch (21:19):
Oh Okay. For how long As
Marge (21:21):
As long as you want it .
Patch (21:23):
Oh. So
Marge (21:24):
I , I didn't know about that. That's only when I got
married already that I learnedthat, you know, my father
requested that we stay. So Isaid to my husband, why did you
agree
Patch (21:36):
Oh that's true.
tradition again, notnecessarily because of
tradition, but because ofeconomic
have to live with the parents.
Marge (21:53):
Well, in the case, in the case of like for instance,
for uh , for sons who aregetting married and if the son
is not stable, then probablythey might ask that they stay
over.
Patch (22:04):
Right? Exactly. But
Marge (22:06):
In my case it was not.
And I said I was not aware ofit. Mm-Hmm.
I said, why did you agree
there only for one, one year.
That's it. One year.
Patch (22:17):
One year.
Marge (22:18):
Then we left . Yeah .
Patch (22:22):
Okay ,
Carmina (22:22):
Thanks.
Patch (22:23):
Thank you Tita.
Marge (22:24):
You're welcome.
Carmina (22:25):
Thank you Po.
Patch (22:26):
Thank you Paul.
Marge (22:32):
Walang ano man. Okay.
Bye
Carmina (22:36):
Bye . The way Patch the chocolate brand snafu that
my father committed. Can youimagine if my mom didn't tell
him about my lola's preferencefor us branded chocolates?
Patch (22:52):
You have a lot to be grateful for Baby Ruth.
Carmina (22:56):
Exactly. That was my lola's favorite chocolate, I
think.
Patch (23:01):
Oh , we talked about a lot of these courtship rituals
in a previous episode, rightCarmina?
Carmina (23:07):
Yeah, we did talk about it in season two.
Courtship Pinoy Style is thetitle of the episode. So if
people really want to dig intothe pre-colonial Filipino
courtship rituals, listen tothat episode. So Patch, I just
wanted to ask you, since youhave a daughter. Mm-Hmm.
Patch (23:28):
Yeah, I was thinking of that. I will insist on it. I
think she would like it. Ithink she is making every
attempt to reconnect with herroots. Mm-Hmm .
So yeah, absolutely. I wouldrevive it. Especially , uh, the
part where they give , um,gifts.
Carmina (23:46):
I approve.
Patch (23:48):
Exactly. But take or Mina . During our conversations
with your mom, we also talked alittle bit about how we address
siblings. We talked about kuya,ate.
Carmina (24:00):
O that's right. We address for example, an older
sister ate or an older brotherkuya. That was interesting too.
Patch (24:09):
So apparently kuya is a combination of two Chinese
words ko, which means elderbrother and ah , a term for
kinship and ate from the sameChinese origin plus chi elder
sister.
Carmina (24:26):
Remember when we were talking about Chinese Filipinos
and how they hispanized theirnames? That's why there's a lot
of Chinese Filipinos with nameswith the suffix of Co like
Tantoco or Cojuangco. That isto designate that the origin of
that clan is from an elderbrother of that line.
Patch (24:49):
Oh.
Carmina (24:50):
But I thought it was interesting too that you
mentioned you never practicedthis in your family, right?
Patch (24:56):
No, it is interesting. I mean, I would never address my
older sister as ate. I thinkshe would give me daggers.
Carmina (25:06):
Is it because of the number of years between you?
Patch (25:09):
I don't know . We , we never practiced it.
Carmina (25:11):
It's also funny because in Korea, even ours
matter in the way they addresseach other.
Patch (25:18):
Right. So your siblings still use ate until now?
Carmina (25:22):
Oh yeah. Definitely.
And it's so funny because myniece of course now is also an
ate, right?
Patch (25:27):
Oh, right. Mm-Hmm.
Carmina (25:28):
So sometimes when we're together and my brother
says ate, oh , and sometimes werespond to him simultaneously,
then he has to clarify who he'stalking to. 'cause he's trying
to model it for my nephew. Andthat's why he calls his
daughter ate. Lots of confusionwhen that happens.
(25:48):
before we wrap up the episodePatch, I have a very thought
provoking question for both ofus.
Patch (25:55):
Okay.
Carmina (25:56):
Why do you think all these customs are disappearing?
Patch (26:00):
Well, I really think it , you know, it's one of the
challenges of modernization.
It's getting more difficult topreserve these traditions.
Looking back at recent years,like Covid how did that affect
those who are still practicingMano?
Carmina (26:16):
Mm-Hmm.
Patch (26:17):
You know, that disappeared for a while and
then they have to bring itback. So that's one of the
things that happened. Right?
Carmina (26:24):
Right. And I did read that it did have a negative
impact because it's a veryintimate gesture and a very
surefire way of spreading thedisease. Especially during a
time when we were trying toprotect our elders. So if you
can imagine if young kidsdidn't observe it during that
period, it's not really searedinto their memories the way it
(26:47):
was during our time.
Patch (26:49):
Yes. A lot of these traditions really, they don't
necessarily have to be taught,but they have to be seen.
Carmina (26:56):
Mm-Hmm.
Yeah.
Patch (26:59):
So hopefully more of these traditions are brought
back into the psyche ofFilipinos. Right. And everyday
life.
Carmina (27:08):
And so the other thing too that I read, which I
thought was really funny, butalso very plausible, is the
constant pressure to remainyoung. So on the flip side, the
older generations are the oneswho even don't want to practice
it for this desire to remainyoung. So if these gestures
(27:29):
like the mano po or the po arebeing done, it's a signal that
they are old and some peopledon't want that.
Patch (27:37):
Right.
Carmina (27:38):
And then lastly, I think what I got from the
interview from my mom is evenshe in the beginning didn't
appreciate all of thesetraditions when she was growing
up and didn't think that it wasimportant to instill it in her
family until she got to acertain age. So maybe that's
(27:59):
another reason.
Patch (28:00):
Mm-Hmm.
It's kind of like leaving alegacy.
Carmina (28:04):
Mm-Hmm.
And you really don't startthinking about that until you
reach a certain part of yourlife.
Patch (28:10):
Yeah . So before
Carmina (28:11):
So before it's too late, Patch. < laugh>.
Patch (28:14):
No , I'm serious .
Carmina (28:15):
Specifically directed to you
Patch (28:17):
things. Isn't that one of thereasons why we also wanted to
do this podcast, but weexplore, we remember , and we
also preserve.
Carmina (28:29):
Hopefully pass it on to the younger generation.
Patch (28:33):
Yeah, exactly.
Carmina (28:34):
We just admitted that we're part of the older
generation. So don't besurprised if someone manos you.
home?
Patch (28:50):
Opo Carmina
And with that, that's ourepisode. We hope you join us on
our next trip,
Carmina (29:07):
O siya, siya.
Patch (29:07):
Ingat po. Thanks for listening to FilTrip with
Carmina and Patch. SupportFilTrip through Patreon or
PayPal. And follow us onInstagram and Twitter.
Subscribe at Apple Podcasts,Spotify, or wherever all
podcasts are downloaded.
Carmina (29:25):
Thanks to Filtrip's sponsor Solepack, a functional
shoe accessory bag. Visit thesoulpack .com for more details.
Patch (29:34):
Email us at the fieldtrip@gmail.com .
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