Find love after 40 with Renée Suzanne

Sushi, oysters, BBQ joints, hookah bars, how to connect with random people and have conversations, how to appreciate men, even men I’d never see again.

Running around the city in my heels meeting random men who opened doors for me, bought me dinners and drinks, sometimes showed up drunk and tried to kiss me on first dates, and often broke my heart taught me so much.

Thank you to all the men who taught me how to do this and spending a...

If you have children, you’ve probably experienced entitlement.

It can be maddening, but it’s part of growing up and hopefully it passes.

But I see a lot of entitlement in the dating space.

I think the prevalence of Disney movies, romance novels, TV and chick flicks contribute to this.

We know these things are just entertainment and we don’t consciously mean to internalize them the way we do, but it’s clear to me that a lot of us feel e...

Most of us want to feel an emotional connection with the person we’re dating. If things feel as bland as a piece of dry toast, your relationship is not likely to last.

But sometimes we cross the line into Drama Central, where we expect every exchange to be a heated declaration of emotional connection, a confession of vulnerability, trials or deep dark secrets. 

We sometimes bond over our traumas and life’s tribulations, especially if...

If you’ve been single for longer than a year or so I can pretty much guarantee you that your situation is not a product of just not having met the right guy.

You are looking at a mindset gap or a skill gap, and most likely both. Unless you address these things, you are likely to not only remain single, but create and intensify unhealthy dating patterns and it will get harder as you age.

Continuing to hope that you just run into the...

I remember telling one of my friends that I didn’t really think I was going to meet a great guy online.

I was just “duty dating” and she responded that she didn’t feel that way at all. She actually expected to meet great guys. And she did! She had a blast with online dating while I trudged around like a deflated balloon constantly getting disappointed.

So who was right? We both were. We got what we expected.

What do you expect from...

If you’re hoping that your luck will change when it comes to dating, I get it.

I spent many years hoping for the same thing.

After all, what else are women supposed to do?

Isn’t something terribly wrong with you if you need to actually do anything proactive to find love?Well, I finally decided to call BS on that idea and I hope you will too.

Because hope is not getting you the results you want.

Hope, without the action to back it u...

I have a friend who will remain nameless, but it’s someone that I know in real life so don’t think I’m calling any of you ladies out.

This friend is super smart, but lost her spouse a few years ago in a horrible way and ended up a single parent with a full-time job. It was pretty awful. 

She soon met someone in real life who was recently divorced, much younger and had a young child. a very tumultuous on again off again relationship...

Back in my single days, my favorite flavor of dating dysfunction was pining away for men who didn’t want to date me.I was so adept at lying to myself that I spent years nursing crushes on these men. 

I was convinced that they would come around. They’d see how perfect we were for each other and that I was such a catch. My feelings were what mattered, not theirs.

Obviously because we were perfect for each other! They would have to w...

Have you ever stopped seeing a man because you were afraid of leading him on? What exactly does it really mean to lead a man on?

I asked the Googles, and what I found was very interesting.

Leading someone on is sending mixed signals, deliberately giving a false impression of romantic interest, excessive friendliness or flirting with no intention of pursuing a romantic relationship, seeking validation or avoiding honest conversation...

Do you think dating is a waste of time? I sure used to. It all seemed so futile. 

Year after year would slip by and all I’d have to show for it was another heartbreak or 2 if I’d managed to meet anyone I was interested in at all.

You cannot afford to spend your time this way. It’s time to make some changes.

Time is not your friend as a single woman. I know this is harsh, but I'm not here to blow smoke at you and tell you fairytales...

I’m willing to bet anything that you’re scrolling past good guys all the time on the apps.

You’re overlooking these men in favor of who you think you should be dating, but those guys never work out.

No you don’t have to have a certain type. Have you noticed that those guys never work out? Why would you tell yourself that story? Stop it now if you want a man in your life anytime soon.

Most women on these apps are trying to date the ...

You need to get real about what dating looks like after 40 so that you can have a fighting chance at getting into a real relationship with a good guy.

This isn’t an easy thing to do after 40, but we tend to make it even harder by not facing the reality of what dating and relationships look like at this life stage.

When you expect it to look like it did in your 20’s (even though nothing else does!) you are in for a rough ride.

If yo...

In order to find a good guy out there, you have to do something to make it happen. I want you to give up on the myth that it’s going to just happen one of these days and get to work. Stop believing things like:Love happens when you least expect it

It happens when it is meant to be

It will happen if it’s meant to happen

You’ll just go about your business and see what happens.

That might work when you’re younger and surrounded by sin...

Your future husband is on a dating app right now looking for you.

He gets as frustrated scrolling through all the ridiculousness, just like you do.

I want you to help him find you.

The best way to do this is to have a top notch dating profile.

And yes, the pictures matter. You need those too.

But your profile must stand out.

The men you want to meet actually read them and decide how to treat you based on their first impressio...

I once met a guy speed dating and I thought he was very handsome.It later became apparent that he thought I was someone else when he scheduled our follow up date.

I thought he was very handsome until I didn’t.

This was an excellent, but very painful lesson for me and it made me think about a lot of things.

What makes someone attractive?

How tall/handsome/successful he is?

Where he lives? Where he travels? What he reads?

I saw him ...

If you’re anything like me when I was single, you just want to skip to the good part and be in an amazing relationship.

Looking for a guy is hard. Early dating feels clunky and awkward.

You think that if you could just meet the right person and get into a relationship, everything would be fine.

I found out from experience that this is not true at all.

I think that dating being what it is is the Universe’s way of getting you ready...

I have a funny analogy for you parents out there.

Has your child ever asked you to buy them something that they had the money for?

They REEEEAAALLLY wanted it and pleaded with you to get it for them?

And when you suggested that they could use their own money to buy it, they suddenly didn’t want it as much?

I had 4 kiddos and this happened often.

It’s kind of hilarious when you think about it.

It’s human nature to be more cautious w...

Do you know someone who watches basketball all the time?

Are they a pro basketball player?

Probably not.

Because knowledge is not enough to actually get good at basketball. And the same is true for dating.

I LOVE that you’re listening to this podcast AND, I want you to take action.

Have you:Written your profile? Taken awesome pictures? Logged onto a dating site?How many new men are you talking to each week?

Are you going on dates...

Unavailable men are like the junk food of dating. 

If you’ve ever tried to quit anything that’s bad for you, you know how hard it is to change your preferences from things that are bad to you to things that are good for you.

It involves work, but it can be done.

The same goes for dating.

You simply must change your preferences if you’re ever going to get different results with dating.

Because dating based on attraction alone is not...