July 17, 2025 • 54 mins
P&O Iona family cruise ! Travel with kids... not your usual UK Travel Podcast
& Isle of Wight Festival at 40
Recent travel adventures, reflecting on the joys and challenges of holidays as 40-something dads while trading dad jokes and first-look experiences.
• Walliams reviews a "bread and butter modern ale" from Vocation Brewery, giving it a 7 out of something
• Mr Hodgkiss recounts his first festival experience as a 40+ year old at Isle of Wight Festival, attending with a group of friends for a stag do
• The festival was geared toward their age group with bands like Sting, Justin Timberlake, and Busted
• Mr Hodgkiss discusses the unexpected creativity of making a poncho out of a bin bag when caught in the rain
• Tips for dads include proper etiquette during aborted plane landings and resisting the urge to comfort strangers
• Updates on Logan's unique animal vocabulary including "yellow up-ups" for giraffes
• Walliams shares his family's first cruise experience aboard P&O Iona to Norwegian fjords
• The cruise included visiting beautiful Norwegian towns and enjoying onboard entertainment with their toddler
• An ice cream afternoon tea featuring multiple desserts per person demonstrated the indulgent nature of cruise dining
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
First cruise with a toddler on PI Ona plus Isle of
Wight Festival at 40.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Welcome to First Look Gnomes your go-to podcast for
dads doing silly things, sharetips for dads and, of course,
the dad jokes and the bad jokes,but, most importantly, we're
here to share our first looks.
Don't forget to send in yourfeedback to our fish.
Bond of feedback and share yourthoughts, questions and own
first looks with us at.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
To send in your feedback to our fish bond of
feedback and share your thoughts, questions and our first looks
with us.
At first look.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Now it's at outlookcom three is a magic
podcast.
Yes, it is.
It's a magic podcast somewherein the ancient mystic trinity.
You get three as a magicpodcast.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Episode three episode three mr walliams episode three
, season four.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
uh, I'm doing okay.
It's pure chaos at the minute.
So I I am busy, busy, busy, butglad to be here with you
sipping some beer, having somechats and just generally podding
away, William.
So yeah, life is busy, but lifeis good.
How about?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
yourself.
Oh, good, good, I might touchupon it later in the podcast,
but I've been on holiday.
Ooh, I might touch upon itlater in the podcast, but I've
been on holiday, and on holidayI I bumped into.
I bumped into the man thatinvented the spinning globe.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's a small world.
Very good, williams, so youdidn't actually meet you didn't
actually meet the man, theinventor of spinning globe?
Yeah, no, I think that was alie.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I think they're long dead, I think they um surely it
was invented a long time agospinning globe what is it?
You know what spinning globe is?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
a globe like a like an actual, a spinning globe,
though the spinning ones.
You get them on like fancystudy desks yeah, yeah, but I
just assume they all spin likewhat if did?
Someone invent a globe and thensomeone decided, haha, I'll
invent the spinning globe, I'llshow him and his crappy globe
that doesn't spin well, you gotthe first invented the
(02:22):
inflatable globe okay you knowfor like pool parties and things
.
No, exactly so maybe yeah.
What the kinds of globes arethere?
Inflatable globes, spinningglobes?
Spinning globes um illuminatedglobes, stress globes you got
their stress globes.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
You know the ones you you squeeze.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah, the audience can't see my actions he's
pumping what he's pumping,ladies and gentlemen, um and you
get um globes as in like mapglobes well, no, because this is
a map actually map.
That's just a map, not a globeit's a flat globe.
You're flat globes for the flatboulders yeah, for the flat
boulders for the flat earthers.
(03:06):
Just a piece of paper.
Well, if there's any otherglobes that we've missed, ladies
and gentlemen, please write into please write in to
firstsitnames at outlookcom letus know about your globes.
Miss Hodgkiss yes, so tell usabout this holiday.
Was it good, or are we going towait for the holiday?
Speaker 3 (03:21):
well, that might be a first holiday.
Was it good, or we're gonnawait for?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
the holiday.
Possibly it's a tease, that is,ladies and gentlemen, he's
teasing us.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
He's teasing us, mr hodgkiss, give us a p?
P, give us a eintzen firstbites eintzen, first bites.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
What'd you get?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
pints and first bites it's Pints and First Bites time
, sponsored by Germany, we'llhave a first look at a pint or a
bite.
What's it going to be today?
Is it going to be a pint or abite?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I imagine it's going to be a pint.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Oh, who knows, oh, oh , oh.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
It's a pint.
Yay.
Welcome to Thirsty First, it'sa pint.
Yay.
Welcome to Thirsty First, it'sentirely random.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's entirely random.
I could have quite easilypicked up a pint-shaped snack,
but I didn't.
You're such an idiot.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You put your hand in a fridge where there's just cans
of beer.
Oh, what's that one?
I want a beer.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Oh, that's a pork pie .
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Don't touch the pork pie.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Today's pint is this has been in the fridge for a
while.
Actually.
This is a Vocation Brewery can,which I believe you actually
sent me.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I bought you that.
Yeah, that was on your birthdaybeer.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
So you're the one to blame for it's quite which,
which I believe you actuallysent me.
So you're the one to blame forit's quite cold, it's over cold.
Actually, in my frozen it is ayellow can with what looks like
Globes at the top, potentiallyspinning globes at the top.
There you go, that's the moon,you idiot.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
That's the moon where you go it's a spinning moon.
It's a spinning moon um andit's a it's a bread and butter
modern ale yeah, I bought itbecause I was like now what's
the most horrendous soundingbeer I can buy?
Because I'll send that towallim because he'll probably
like it.
Bread and butter bread andbutter.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
We had something similar.
I had a.
I had a beer made of bread,didn't I look at the website?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
to see previous reviews.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
That was an old one it was, yeah, um, a fresh, easy
drinking, dry, hot palecombining british malts of us
hops for a modern take on aclassic Crisp with mild citrus
notes.
There are lots of citrus beersout there, so how's a bread and
butter beer, citrus?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, I don't know, maybe because it's gone off and
it's tangy.
The whole thing is ridiculous.
Bread and butter, fruit andbeer.
No, no, no, no.
Do you know what you need,williams?
Speaker 3 (06:05):
A good old-fashioned mild.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Kimberley Mild.
None of this fruity nonsense.
Get me back to proper flavourand proper.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
They don't have Kimberley Milds anymore, do they
?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
You know what?
They're generally quite hard toget at mild.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yeah, please write in if you know any good places
that sell good mild and we'll behappy to visit and have a first
look.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Live.
It smells very citrusy itsmells very citrusy.
It doesn't smell like very muchat all.
It's very clear looking, itlooks like?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
it looks like a hydrated wee wee.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Refreshing, refreshing.
That'd be nice, as a shandyactually, that would.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Nice as a shandy.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Nice as a shandy.
A bit of lemonade in that on asunny day.
Yeah, currently a vocation,that's vocation.
Brewery voca, tio and vocationbut how many, how many?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I can't remember what the scoring system was that we
set up.
How many, how many fish ponds,how many?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
no, fingers, wasn't it I?
Many no fingers, I don't we'lldo, we'll, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Well, it's something.
How many, somethings, volumes,how many known how?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
many somethings.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I'll give it a you can't combine fingers and
fishing rods I'll give it aseven out of something a seven
out of something the problem isI don't know what the top end of
the scale is.
It doesn't matter I don't thinkit matters seven out of
something and we'll just leaveit.
That's good, it's good.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Check out the website for a comparison and league
table of all the first I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, I still, I still haven't finished the
website, sorry next season fivewell, you see, what did I tell
you about this?
Let me tell you about thewebsite oh, so because I host a
few websites and I ran out ofspace so if.
I'm going to host our website.
I've got to pay more money tohave more hostess spaces or
delete the paying customer.
(07:51):
I could delete a payingcustomer's website but, I,
probably won't problem yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I do.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I was waiting to get to a point where I need a couple
of websites so I can kind of,you know, buy in bulk Um.
You know, buy in bulk um, youknow, because I can't imagine
there's many people really wantto look on our website.
If you do want to go on ourwebsite, if you're like, yes, I
would check they don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
You don't know until you get up you can see it.
Well, you want to search, youwant to search for it, and then
it comes up.
You go, oh, and then you listento the podcast oh, I suppose I
probably better do that now.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
I've been promising it for like two seasons, now
three seasons.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, I'll try and do it once.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I'll try and do it by the end of the year we could
have been famous by now, butanyways, we could have do you
want to do your first look?
I can.
I can do my first look.
Yeah, so this week my firstlook is so we are recording this
during Glastonbury Festival.
Last year I remember talkingabout Glastonbury Festival
(08:47):
because, as avid listeners willknow, we are festival lovers.
But this year I don't just needto talk about a festival,
because I went to one.
We went to the Isle of WightFestival, which was on the Isle
of Wight, which was on the Isleof Wight.
(09:07):
And I've never been there before.
So I thought I'd tell you allabout the Isle of Wight Festival
.
Williams give you a bit of arundown of what we did, what we
enjoyed and how it was being a41-year-old man at a music
festival when I haven't been toone like a proper big one for
nearly like a decade or so.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
But there was a gang of 41 year olds, wasn't there?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
there was.
So this was a gang.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
What you call was it a a cuddle, a 41 year old a a
flock, a pride of a group ofknobs, just a big group of
knobheads, um, but yeah, therewas 40 of us uh on this.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
It was a friend of ours, stag do, uh, you know said
person 40, 40s gosh 40, 40s,yeah, um.
And so first thing on noteabout being in your 40s and
going to a music festival and ona stag, do in particular,
because this is I, I don't know,maybe, maybe, was it your first
festival as a 40 plus year old?
(10:05):
It was yes.
So we we go to a festival in inNorthern Ireland every year
called the doll fest, but that'svery family friendly.
So like we've taken brain andit's like, you know, scouting
for girls and there's ice creamtrucks and you know it's very
meek and mild.
Isle of Wight is like one ofthe big ones.
(10:26):
It's like, yeah, there's allsorts going on, yeah, till the
early hours of the morning andsubstance abuse and alcohol and
tents and all sorts going on um,so it's it's.
There was still a lot of kidsthere, I must admit there was
still a lot of people with kidsand like there was definitely
part of me, I was like why wouldyou bring young children to a
place like this?
It didn't seem, it didn'tdidn't strike me as a place I'd
want to take a child.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
You wouldn't take a baby there.
I've got to be honest.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
No, I wouldn't.
No, not until he's a lot older.
Yeah, yeah, no, I don't think Ipersonally.
It's subjective, I know, butI'm like festivals like this,
which are adult festivals, wherethe bands are effing and
jeffing, but I mean there is.
So, as an example, they wereselling bucket hats and at one
(11:09):
point we were stood watching oneof the bands and there's two
kids who can only be, I reckon,nine and ten right and they had
two bucket hats.
On one of the bucket hats hatswas covered in the word and the
other one was covered in theword um.
Yeah, the c, the C, the C word.
I'm like, okay, I probably soundvery snobby there, but I'm like
I'm all for buying your kidshats and stuff, but, like you
(11:31):
know, with Minecraft on, notwith, not with those kinds of
words on, uh, like why is itfunny?
But anyway.
Um, there was lots of kidsthere, but I didn't think it was
a kid festival.
I think it was very much youknow, there was groups like us
there, 40 year old lads who were, just you know, annihilated.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
But was it?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
getting married.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
But was a 40 year old festival or was a?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Oh yeah, it was a 40 year old festival, so the acts
who were playing were very muchgeared towards our age group.
So it was, there was no kind oflike.
There wasn't like Charlie XCXand Wet Leg and all the cool
young kid bands.
It was like ah, it's Sting andJustin Timberlake and the
Stereophonics and Busted bandsthat we would have enjoyed when
(12:17):
we were kind of like 15, 20.
So it was definitely catered to.
I think we were the average age.
There were some younger people.
There was definitely catered to.
I think we were the average age.
There were some younger people.
There was definitely some olderpeople.
There was, like I saw, a lot ofpeople probably in their late
50s, early 60s, maybe even up tothe 70s, so there was
definitely kind of older peoplethere.
But it was a brilliant place,like really impressive big site.
(12:39):
It wasn't as big as Glastonburybut it was still sizeable and
the and the other white's lovely.
So we've got to get thehovercraft across, uh, which was
cool, and we stayed in like anAirbnb.
And that's from so that was fromPortsmouth.
So we got, we flew intoSouthampton and then went across
to Portsmouth, then traveleddown from Portsmouth um on the
(13:00):
ferry over to Isle of Wight andthen we're about three miles
away from where the hovercraftdropped us off and then about a
20-minute bus ride to the actualsite.
So it was pretty good.
So it was cool.
So there was eight of us in ourhouse.
There was like different,because there were so many of us
, we didn't just have one place,there was lots of us started
around the place and we had anice house with a garden, marden
(13:20):
and morgan, who we we know inprevious episodes as mr barbecue
manly man, and he brought acricket bat and we were just
camping.
Then I thought you were campingthen no, we're too old and
smelly for that.
I don't think I'd want to.
There was I tell you this.
Actually, there was definitelyparts coming home of an evening.
So, like once you've been onyour feet all day, you're
walking like 15 000 steps andyou think, oh, I just want to go
(13:42):
home now it's two o'clock inthe morning, ready for, ready
for bed, and I'm in.
I'm old, like I'm an old man,I'm like bye, bye min I'm ready
for my bed now, even as ayounger man.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
You're disappearing.
Where's he going?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
oh, he's sleeping on a cliff I did fall asleep in a
portly on the on the sundown daythree.
I went for it.
I went for a wee sit down andthen woke up about 15 minutes
later thinking I've fallenasleep there, I'm in a
port-a-loo and I've just had anap.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Can you imagine the person waiting, waiting in the
queue?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
No, it did, though, genuinely one of those ones
where I think I sat down andjust closed my eyes and then
just fell asleep, because wedidn't have much sleep every
night.
We only get like four or fivehours sleep, but then we got
back to the house and theneveryone's getting up in the
morning and stuff.
There wasn't much sleep but wedid, um, we uh, yeah.
So, but it was fun and I tried,we did cold water swimming in
(14:35):
the mornings, which I've neverdone before morning.
We went in the sea, which wasfun.
Yeah, the whole experience wasreally cool.
The, the festival was brilliant.
Some of the acts were brilliant, like we saw.
So busted were great.
They were, like you know, justfun.
Um, and justin timberlakeimpressed me.
He was good.
Um, we saw lots of acts andit's fun.
(14:57):
It's funny because the group wewere with there were some
people who like loved bustedbecause like, yeah, this is
simple.
There's people like this issure I want something cool.
I was like it was such a mix,um, but I think everyone had a
good time.
The stack had a really goodtime.
He took everything like anabsolute champ, to be honest,
like people threw a lot at himand he was still a big stack,
(15:17):
isn't it 40?
it was, it was.
He's a popular boy, though,isn't?
He, he's got a lot of.
He's like he's got his homemates, his union mates, his
london mates, his work mates.
He's got a lot of he's got hishome mates, his union mates,
he's london mates, his workmates, he's.
You know he's a he's a popularboy and it, but he took
everything very well.
Um, and it was one of thosethings I was like I was glad to
go home, but I'm also like gladI went and I'd go again.
So I think that's a good sign.
(15:38):
When you think, yeah, I couldgo, I'd go there again.
I'll go and do that weekend allover again, getting beer,
wasn't't that?
Speaker 3 (15:43):
hard, reasonable for a festival price.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yeah, reasonable and good beer as well.
It was all BrewDuck stuff so itwas decent beer and the food
stalls were good.
So even with my kidney stonesand gallstones, I didn't find it
too difficult to find food andyou know, it was really good, it
was fantastic.
But you know, even though therewas parts where I was like, oh,
this is like getting home likewas just tiresome and having to
organize taxes and stuff washard, but it was well worth it.
(16:07):
The highs are still worth it.
So I would recommend any kindof dads or moms who are like you
know what.
Should we go to a festival?
We're a bit old.
Do we want to go?
It's, there's still great funand there's loads to do, loads
of variety.
A couple of times we just kindof disappeared and we watched
like a Foo Fighters tribute band.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
They were in a tent with.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
They were playing kind of like just cheesy music
and it was just yeah, you canloud music, beer and good
friends.
You can't really have a badtime.
The amount of steps and walking.
I'm like next time I go to afestival I'm going to go into
training for six monthsbeforehand.
But yeah, it was good.
However, what I wouldn'trecommend is gonna bring me on
(16:44):
to Tim for dad's tips for dad'sone thing about your tips out
for the dance one thing that Iwon't recommend.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Well, be careful how to buy your kids well, be
careful.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
That is a tip.
Yes, if you're gonna buy, ifyou're considering buying your
heart, your kid, a hat with theword on it, think, think twice,
because you know kids don't needthat just get a good one.
This is our white festival orsomething yeah, just a nice one
yeah which probably costs afortune, but some of the merch
(17:16):
was quite expensive on thesunday night we were, so our
taxi back wasn't till 2 am, um,but Justin Timberlake and look,
finish 11.
Then I want to watch James fora bit.
They finished at 5 to 12 andthen it was two hours still to
the taxi, in about nothing.
I had one and a half mile walkand I was.
It was starting to rain and Iwas cold and I was like ah,
(17:37):
should I buy a hoodie for themerch stand?
I was like 50 quid.
I was like nah what I ended updoing walliams, which was genius
.
I got the piss taken out of me,but at this I couldn't imagine
that on a stack too, no no, butlike at this point they were
starting to, there was all thewheelie bins and there was all
the cleanup operation hadstarted right, so this is like
the all the fireworks had goneoff the festival.
(17:59):
No, no, there was a massive rollof wheelie bin bin liners,
bright green bin liners and Iwas like that'll keep the rain
off me, so I took one off,ripped a hole in the top and
wore it like a poncho, and I'mnot kidding, it was genius
because it was big so it fit meand it was warm inside and I
(18:21):
walked to that bus, smug as asanything in my bin bag, and
everyone was like what are youdoing?
I was like it's cold.
It's not that cold.
I was like it is, I'm wearingmy bin bag.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
And I'm dry.
Yes, I'm wearing my bin bag.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
I mean, I could probably talk for an hour on
some of the stuff that happened.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You basically sound like a homeless drunk.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
You fell asleep in toilet and then you walked home
in a bin bag, pretty much afterwatching justin timberlake, as
you do.
So, yeah, it was good fun, butgetting there, walliams.
So this is another first lookand leads me to my tips, for
that nearly died, walliams,nearly died and my first
experience, because I'm not, I'mnot the greatest flyer no, no,
no, no, this was to do with theairplane, so I'm not the
greatest flyer.
I don't mind flying.
I used to hate flying, used toavoid flying at all costs.
(19:10):
I've kind of come to terms withyou know, we're all going to
die at some point.
If you're not in a plane crash,at least it's fairly quick, um
cheery.
But uh, on this one I thought,oh crap, oh.
So I had my first experience ofone of those landings when they
decide actually we're not goingto land the plane, we may be
about to touch down the runway,but we'll just go back up again
(19:32):
Abort, abort, abort.
I had my first experience ofthat and that is not a nice
experience.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Was it the wind or?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It was the heat, so we're having a bit of a heat
wave.
So apparently the heat wascoming off and like we were
coming in, so it was one of thepropeller planes, the small
propeller planes and we werecoming into land and the plane
was moving around like you won'tbelieve.
I was like what is going on?
I was like just get us down,please pray to god.
I was like god, please, justget us down.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Did you have a window seat, or yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:02):
no, I was in the oil.
I sat next to this poor womanand this will bring me to my
tips for dads um, but we'recoming down and the plane is
moving all over the show and Iwas like this is not going to be
a fun landing.
We get just down above therunway and then you feel it.
You're like okay, you knowyou're preparing to touch down.
Like okay, cool, you can see it.
(20:23):
Why aren't we touching down?
And you start going up again.
Oh, my.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
I'm like.
You can see the, you can seethe airport you're on the runway
.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
You're like what's going on?
And you just take off and go upand like, obviously, they put
the thrusters up, like oh, okay,and everyone's like.
Everyone starts to be like oh,oh, yeah, the chatter and I'm
like oh yeah, nervous laughterprobably yeah absolute
nervous laughter and then theycome on the tanner and said
we're sorry about that, we'regonna go back up and come back
(21:05):
around again due to the heat, uh, flip.
So um, yeah, we survived, wegot down eventually.
But it brings me to my tips fordads williams tips for dads if
you think you're about to die ina plane crash don't grab the
one next to you well, that's oneof them, so I've got a few.
So obviously I use humor a lotof the time to mask my true
(21:27):
feelings.
So my first tip for dads ifyou're about to dine a plank
I've seen you sat next to astranger don't make a wise crack
to the person sat next to youwho is panicking even more than
you, because they might need tosee the funny side.
So I was a little bit nervous.
Obviously, the woman next to mewas absolutely petrified what
(21:47):
did you say?
she was shaking like a shittingdog she was.
She was so nervous and I wasgonna say my first instinct was
to kind of say to her like onthe plus side, you can keep
watching your tv show.
Like you know, just trying tolighten the situation but, I
thought, no, no, don't do that.
Don't do that.
I don't think that's a goodidea.
I don't think she'll thank youfor it.
(22:07):
I also then.
So second tip for dad, which Ididn't do, but I wanted to, like
I was going to take a hand andhold a hand and say it's okay,
and I thought you can't do that.
These days, william, you can'tgrab a stranger Was that for you
or for her?
No, it was definitely.
Hold me no normally, because ifI'm with Lesley-Anne I'll
(22:28):
obviously hold her hand as we'recoming down.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, but she's right it comforts me.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah, it comforts me.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
But this one I was like I was bad, I was pretty
nervous, but the woman next tome was genuinely terrified.
And your instinct is to kind oflike take them by the hand and
just be like it's okay.
Look, it's perfectly safe andyou're kind of your dad.
Go your dad mode, just kind ofokay.
Right, I'm more composed thanthis person next to me, so I
need to be the adult in thissituation.
(22:54):
Um, but I was like you cannotjust grab a person's hand these
days, williams.
Even if it's better for any way.
So, as much as you may want todo, not grab that person's hand,
don't make a joke about it.
So one thing I would advise wedo do.
Another tip for Dad, whichsomebody clearly didn't do, was
hold your fart in Williams.
Hold your fart in.
(23:15):
I managed to, but somebody onthe plane didn't.
Okay, right I?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
presumed I managed to , but somebody on the plane
didn't okay, right, and.
I presumed it wasn't, it wasn'tpleasant Walliams, it wasn't
pleasant.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It was definitely like oh, are we going to die?
What's that smell?
I mean but yeah, we allsuffered for that one for a bit
and then finally, do youremember, even even though it's
quite scary, the you got to bepragmatic and realize, like it's
one in 11 million, um, thepilots know what they're doing.
(23:50):
You're probably going to beokay, I think.
There's just there's been somuch news on the, oh, so much
news recently it's just like ofcourse, as soon as you got FF,
everyone was like who was inseat 11A?
who was in seat 11A?
And like well, we all survived.
So you know, we didn't actuallycrash, we just had an aborted
landing, but it wasn't not themost fun experience.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Well, but yeah, the pilot obviously knew what they
were doing.
They could have carried on andnot abort the landing.
Oh yeah, I can do this.
And then obviously, uhobviously, there's something
affecting it.
I still don't quite understand.
It's the heat that yeah, I'mnot.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I'm not quite sure really, because the air
turbulence, because the heatcoming off, so it probably
affected the turbulence.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I'm not sure.
Science people it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
When we did come down and land, it wasn't nice and
there was a.
It was one of those ones whereeveryone cheered and so, um, but
yeah.
So those are my tips for dads.
If you were in that situation,um yeah, don't grab the person's
hand, don't make a wisecrack,do hold your farts in and do
remember you're going to be okayso hold your farts, don't hold
(25:02):
the whole band next to you yeah,random stranger unless if she
grabs your hand, that's okay,right, unless it's not okay, I
don't know what is okay thesedays.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Well a follow-up from the previous podcast, which, um
, I always like doing becauseyou forget, um.
So another one of littleLogan's new animal terms.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
So one of his toys he referred to.
So just as a reminder, in thelast episode I told you about
the Nunite Bears.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
The koalas.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
yes, the Ra-Ra's.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
The lions.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
The red bears.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
The red pandas yes.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
The Splash Ra-Ra's raras sea lions.
I remember got that one lasttime I thought the hippos and so
a new one, and my tip is justto embrace these different terms
.
You know you use thesedifferent names for animals, but
uh, yellow up ups giraffes yeah, yellow, up, ups, that's yellow
(26:01):
it's a whole different language, isn't it kids?
Yes, but I think they'rethey're better names, to be
honest a yellow up up.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah, can we go to the yellow up ups?
Yeah, that's brilliant.
Kids are genius.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Wells, kids are genius first looks, my first
look.
Sorry, mr archie is on my um.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Let me guess let me guess what oh his first.
Look sorry, mr Archie, on mylet me guess.
Let me guess what oh his firstlook it's gonna be, did you go
on holiday?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I did go on holiday.
I met, I met.
I met someone that invented thespinning globe.
Good, call back good call back.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
That's a spot back.
You're a pro no, my first.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I had a first look, so you know I don't want to
paint a a picture.
I know the last podcast.
Well, I guess before I spokeabout centre parks ooh,
someone's been well themselvesthis time I had a first look at
a cruise.
Oh, my days, so hang on, areyou just?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
are you making loads of profit on this podcast?
This time I had a first look ata cruise.
Oh my days, william.
So hang on, are you makingloads of profit from this
podcast?
And you're just not telling meabout it.
I'm falling asleep in toiletsand wearing bin bags.
You're going to Centre Parcsand going on cruises.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Yes, so we went on our first cruise as a little
family, oh dear.
So we went on the P&L cruisewith the Iona.
So we booked ages ago.
We just went.
We wanted to take a little lessand we wanted it to be a
special.
Um, it's basically ourhoneymoon, but a long time away
since our wedding.
(27:31):
But it was a special, a specialtrip and um, a lot of cruises
are all sort of, you know, theycan be quite fancy, um, and they
used to be very much like justyour, your older people although
we are older people now um, but, um, you know, it was perfect
(27:53):
level for, uh, for us and atwo-year-old.
Um, when I on a cruise to theNorwegian fjords.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Amazing.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Yeah, so we're staying in Southampton the night
before and then these ships.
They're massive, so the Iona isthe 12th biggest in the world.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Miss Iona is one of the largest cruise ships ever
built for the UK.
She's eco-friendly, powered byliquefied natural gas for
cleaner sailing.
Built in Germany and launchedin 2020, the ship boasts a
stunning sky dome, aglass-covered pool by day,
entertainment venue by night.
Named after the peacefulScottish island of Iona, she
(28:35):
regularly cruises the Norwegianfjords.
With 30 plus bars andrestaurants, this ship is
basically a floating resort.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
It's nuts that there's bigger ships than that
one.
It's huge, I don't know how todescribe it.
A big old ship, I thinksomething massive Logan.
Because we said we're going ona boat, there's a ship.
I said we're going on a boat,um, and then we're on it, and
(29:09):
then we're saying I'm on theboat, it's like, no is basically
a big hotel that floats, um,but it's um eight, eight too
(29:30):
much, um.
So you know, you can go tothese like sort of posh
restaurants where you've justgot your um, your big sort of
buffet style, yeah, or you caneat stuff.
I was trying not to have a fryup.
Apologies for your gold bladder, but I was trying not to have a
fry up every day, but every dayI had a fry toast.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
You're on your honeymoon, you've got to be
having a fry up every day.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I ate way too much.
And we also picked the creasebecause we didn't want too much
hassle with flying a millionmiles away, driving to the
airport, waiting at the airport,then flying to somewhere,
especially a Logan.
You know you've got to keepthem occupied.
Oh, simple is better, yeah, butyeah, southampton, so that was
the main.
(30:12):
So we broke up the drive toSouthampton, stopped off a
couple of places, but all in allonly sort of hour sort of trip.
Um, set a hotel and then the,the getting on board.
It's so smooth, so quick.
Obviously, once you're on,you're on your holiday.
You know you're not, you knowthat you've reached your
destination.
It's not like, oh, we wait foran airport, like for a flight,
(30:35):
um, so yeah, smoothest, speedycheck-in, what are you gonna
call it?
Whatever done.
We sort of parked the car and wehad basically someone jumped in
.
I felt like we got muggedactually.
So within about 10 minutes wego out the car.
Someone else jumped in, drovethe car off, we walked about 10
(30:57):
meters and so on.
She's got your tags on thatsays what about your arm?
And then someone just grabsyour bag, chucks them down, this
um, yeah, convert about chuckedon one of those off your pop.
And so what just happened there?
Someone just taken our car,grabbed our luggage.
Um, I mean, we managed to skipthe queues a fair bit because,
(31:19):
you know, we had a pram withlogan and they're like really
good, they're like just gothrough here and nice and um,
yeah, so it was, you know, allreally smooth.
The only bit was, which wasunlucky for us was, um, so our
bags are left outside our cabin,great, but we're missing one
bag.
So we still didn't have the bagof all sort of logan and stuff
(31:41):
in.
And oh, no, it's okay, I'll be.
As we spoke to reception, oh,they'll, they'll be there
eventually.
And then georgie went sort ofthe way, for wife went back
again.
So we still haven't got the, uh, got the bag yet she's starting
to panic now.
She's like, yeah, we want to gointo relax mode, the bag.
Yet, um, and they're likethat's right.
(32:01):
And he said when should I panic?
He said it should be, you know,within the next half hour,
cause the last bags are comingthrough.
Um, so we went back an hourlater.
They were like um, panickingnow, um, and then so have you
checked there?
Because there's a pile of justbags they put where they
couldn't locate the room wherethe tag fell off or whatever.
(32:22):
And we look through the thatcollection no bags, not there oh
no and they were just about togo into panic.
Man, this lady walks down withthis bag.
So yeah, we've got it in theend.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
So where did it mean?
Speaker 3 (32:37):
well they said probably well, because it had um
logan's, um light lines orthings like that electronic.
So they think probably went forsecurity.
And so what's all this?
Yeah yeah, or spike, yeah, um,bomb spike.
Yeah, logan had it.
He stopped napping a while ago,but then he started napping
(32:59):
again on holiday, which wasgreat okay and she mentioned
quite a few, just fall asleep inhis pram and we have a glass of
champagne or whatever you knowjust lovely.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Wow, that sounds amazing um but um.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
The second day was we just started to get into right
on holiday.
They went for a swim.
Georgia and I went for a swim,george and I went for a swim,
and then on the back of Logan'sleg was a tick, no, yeah, a tick
.
So buried into the back ofLogan's knee I was like where on
earth did he get that from?
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Quick disclaimer here .
When we mentioned our toddlerfound a tick behind their knee
while we were on the Iona cruiseship.
We just want to be super clear.
That doesn't mean it came fromthe ship itself.
The day before we boarded we'dbeen walking around a national
trust park and we also stayed ina hotel overnight, so
realistically, the tick couldhave come from any of those
(33:53):
places.
They were absolutely brilliantabout it.
Once we mentioned it, theyarranged an extra thorough clean
of our cabin straight away,just to be safe.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
So we're a bit panicky.
We could try to get outourselves, but then if we squish
it and then it's dangerous ifthe head basically pops, yeah,
and you get all sorts of scarystuff.
So we had a visit to Deck deckthree with the, the cruise
doctors and and loviness fromNorthern Ireland and she was
(34:32):
lovely.
She got out of bubbles andstuff for Logan and she's had a
look and sort of took it out in.
You know, an easy A pair oftweezers A pair of tweezers.
Yeah, and just popped it outDid.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Logan even realise.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
No, no, no.
He learnt the word tick a lotof times.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
If you don't want a kid running, I'm going tick,
tick, tick, tick, tick.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
The doctor came in to have a little look to check
there's no sort of infection orwhatever.
And I said to Georgie, he was agood looking chap, this doctor.
He was a good looking chap.
I was a bit worried.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
I'm not going to stay in Dr Dreamy yeah, it was Dr
Dreamy did Georgie start doingthis like?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
yeah, just flicking her hair looking at her oh, I
think I've got a chick as well,I'm right no, yes, would you
look at this?
oh, I've just dropped something,I just need to uh yes slowly
doctor yeah, so we quickly leftthere 50 pound age or whatever
it was um well, ims, you gotnothing to worry about that
(35:34):
woman loves you but um, yeah.
So then after that was done andthey said I'll keep an eye on
it because you know if it startsflaring up or whatever, then
the bit of whatever got into theblood.
But yeah, so we went to variousdifferent places in the fjords.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Is it just stunning?
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Yeah, yeah, beautiful , beautiful.
It had all sorts of weather.
We thought being somewherewould be fairly all right, um,
but one day, because we ended upat a sky lift and up, up, um to
the as long as um, into the um,into the mountains, so we ended
up having to buy like a bubblehat.
(36:15):
So this is, you know, this isjune, so you had to buy a bubble
hat and you know better, wear acoat and jumper and stuff and
um.
But then the next day it wassuper sunny, so we were like
shorts and t-shirt, um, so allthe weather under the sun, um,
also, on the third day yes, thefirst day was bag.
Second day was um tick.
(36:36):
Third day, walking through um,a place called uh stavanger, um,
and then a bunch of seagullsflew over georgie, um, and you
can predict what happened no,that's good luck, good luck yeah
, so georgie was very lucky uhshe married you.
Of course she is yeah, um, butuh, all her favorite tops but
(37:00):
ended up getting cleaned prettygood and I was at towards the
end of our walk around the townso we just went back to the boat
.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
You have to go to the doctor though she had to go to
the doctor.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
Just in case you got affected by the seagull.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, oh I better go into the volumes.
I better go to the doctor.
I'll be.
I might be a day or two doctor,doctor, um yeah so we had, uh,
some great days for.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
So, yeah, we went to different places, had our sea
days as well, which youbasically eat, and there's loads
of performance things going onwe managed to go to some shows
as well, which you know.
We haven't been to a show loganyet because he's so young that
you don't really want to spend afortune on going to a show.
And then, of course, oh, butwith this, we went, like, if
he's not enjoying it or playingup a bit, we can just go because
(37:46):
it doesn't cost us anything butyeah, he really enjoyed it.
Um all the movement and stuff Ilove it and uh yeah, yeah, he
really enjoyed it did you havesome nice beers?
yeah, that that's my spirit.
Too many, though, um didn'treally.
The holiday was the cruise, asopposed to going to Norway.
I didn't feel like I've been toNorway.
(38:09):
I felt like I'd been on acruise.
Yeah, cause you kind of you'reon the cruise and then you get
off and then you're in theselovely little Norwegian towns,
but 5,000 British people havejust got off as well.
So you're just hearing allthese different I live with,
puddle your accents, draw theaccents, yeah, all these
different accents from Britainin a little Norwegian town.
(38:32):
This is a bit it's a bit surreal.
But one place, which was inGranger, we thought we'd we put
on that.
We've been on a big.
Well, logan progressed fromcalling a big hotel to a big,
which is a big boat, a ship, andthat was, you know, the honking
(38:54):
of the ship.
And yeah, granger, because you,it's weird because it's it's
like you're in a very big roombecause you have like a big wall
behind you and then to the leftand right and then you've got
the field.
It's just a it's a surrealbecause this is huge walls
surrounding you.
(39:15):
I don't know how to describe it, but just incredible landscape
really, really good.
A 80 ate too much.
Oh, had our first um, so thatthere's a gelato place.
Um, but we ended up, um, Idon't know how we did it.
I don't know if we orderedwrong or not.
Um, but it's an afternoon tea,but it's an ice cream afternoon
(39:35):
tea okay so, uh, so each, youbasically each have a coffee,
lovely, and then with thatcoffee you have um.
So on the top layer, um, it'sbasically like a magnum, but you
have two.
Let's go two, two magnums each,okay and then, and then you've
(39:56):
got um two-down cones of icecream each and then two ice
cream macaroons.
Oh my days and two.
I don't know how to describethem, but that kind of Twix bar,
(40:17):
ice cream things.
Things round, things Each.
So this was each, no.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
And did you eat it all?
Speaker 3 (40:27):
No, no, I couldn't.
I almost did, almost did.
I think I left one item.
Speaker 5 (40:34):
Snowflakes Gelato.
Afternoon Tea A twist on thetraditional afternoon tea.
We serve a selection ofbite-sized gelato treats,
including mini gelato macarons,gelato cannoli, gelato cookie
praline and white chocolate domegelato sticks and mini gelato
cones, served with your choiceof Costa coffee.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Yeah, because usually if you have a Magnum you'd have
like one.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
That's enough, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
You wouldn't have two Magnums, two ice creams, two
Magnums no you don't need 3,000calories worth of ice cream.
Yeah, at least.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
But you're on holiday .
So it's one of those treethings, isn't it?
But we're on holiday.
When are you ever going to do?
Speaker 5 (41:15):
that again, tea is large enough to share between
two or even three people.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Exactly it sounds like it was a beautiful trip.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
There is no family who deserves a lovely vacation
than you three.
I'm so glad you got to go andenjoy it and actually have some
time together.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
I know I enjoyed it.
He learned a lot as well, sodefinitely something I can get
into, but it takes it.
So he learned a lot as well, sodefinitely something like that
again.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
But it takes the pressure off you and Georgie as
well.
Like you know, when the kid'shappy and you know the kid's
safe and you know there's thingsto do with a kid, you can enjoy
yourself Because you're like,okay, we're going to see a show
with Logan, that's awesome.
That's such a bit bigger.
(42:04):
It's like, oh, this is nice.
Um, so you'd go again, wouldyou?
You recommend it?
Speaker 3 (42:09):
oh.
So we went to um, so stammeringlovely place.
Get back on the boat, go for ameal.
So we're tuned to poshrestaurants as well.
So we went to a posh restaurant.
It's like, because there's poshrestaurants included, there's
ones you pay extra for, there'sposh restaurants that are
included in your price.
So again you thought, well,we're not taking him to a posh
restaurant yet give it a go.
He was a superstar, might aswell do it, and they were really
(42:30):
good of him.
They did the whole.
You know how they sort of whenthey and they grabbed the, the
cloth and sort of put it overyour, over your, knees they did
that for Logan.
They put their blanket over hislegs and things yeah, he was
really good and it was like aposh meal and it was nice going
out for a posh meal like withhim and he was, he was really
(42:50):
good about it.
But yeah, definitely do itagain, because yeah went to
Stavanger and then you go back,have the posh meal, go to bed,
wake up in the morning, you'reout somewhere else and then you
go back after posh meal, go tobed, wake up in the morning,
you're at somewhere else andthen you just get off the boat
and that's amazing.
You haven't got to travel.
You know.
You know someplace, you staysomewhere, then you have to
drive to that place and drive tothat place, whereas this you're
just um, you're on holiday 24 7and did you see any like any
(43:17):
nice?
Speaker 2 (43:17):
do you see anything like the?
Speaker 3 (43:18):
uh, no, no, because because it'd be in um june, so
we had basically 20 hours ofsunshine, because when you go
that, when you go that far north, it's just so much sunshine
each day, of course, yeah, um.
So yes, you didn't really seeany um, which was nice because
you know you constantly got anice view, um, but I didn't
realize how so most of theholidays are was the north sea,
(43:40):
so obviously you have to gothrough the North Sea to get to
Norway.
How busy it is.
We've got oil rigs and windfarms and oh yeah, yeah, it's a
bit nuts, but yeah, then I gotback and super speedy getting
off, just really simple.
Just go through a bit of therigmarole of you know, checking
(44:02):
out, but super simple.
Definitely recommend cruisingto flying if you can.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
How many somethings out of somethings would you give
it then, Miles?
Speaker 3 (44:13):
Ten somethings, ten somethings.
I'm a converted cruiser.
I'm now a converted cruiser.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Amazing.
It's the convenience for thekids, isn't it?
It's just like you know whatwe're getting.
To the age now where I?
Isn't it?
It's, it's just like you knowwhat we're getting today's.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Now what I don't want to travel for 18 hours.
I can take all the time out,and then I'm not cooking and not
just, and isn't it?
And pick what you want as well,just oh oh, props every day
mate oh, I mean a week wasenough.
I think if I did two weeks, youknow it's, isn't it funny,
right?
Speaker 2 (44:45):
you won't be able to get out there.
Oh, would you?
76 magnums I've eaten.
I've eaten nothing but red meat, um and pork.
Yeah, I had sausages.
I've never been to southhampton.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
He loved a sausage, the uh.
Have you ever been toSouthampton before?
Speaker 2 (45:07):
No, no, no, my first time, me neither, and yet both
of our first looks originatedfrom Southampton today.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
Southampton is the well.
It's not the place to go to,it's the place to go somewhere
else.
Speaker 5 (45:19):
Go there to bugger off.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Southampton.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
Welcome and then go.
Away.
Southampton Welcome and then goaway Southampton's tagline.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
You know, like every city has the brand of a city.
Southampton, fuck off yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
Yeah, the welcome sign is see you later.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Yeah, goodbye.
I'm glad you had a good time.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
That's lovely, very good.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
And where are you going to go then?
So on your next cruise, you'vejust won the lottery.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
Just won the lottery.
Oh, around the world cruise.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
And you go just around the world cruise, Around
the world cruise.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
I don't know.
No, because I was talking aboutthat with George the other day.
At what point do you go from?
Because a week, two weeks andthen over two, I can't eat until
they fry up.
I can't keep drinking.
You end up going to a bit morenormality, don't you?
Maybe I don't know.
I've never been on holiday morethan two weeks.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Well, that's true.
You don't know what you don'tknow, do you?
No?
Maybe you love it.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
But yeah, I've been on the world cruise.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Maybe that's why On these cruises, right, I always
wonder, like you go forbreakfast in the morning
sausages, eggs but then you allsee things like porridge and
fruit and you're like who'seating that on one of these
things?
Speaker 3 (46:33):
lego had his fruit, he's a much healthier than I am.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
It was really good I wasn't setting an example at all
oh no, daddy's eating moresausage.
Yeah, that's fine.
But I always wonder, like,who's that really for?
And then maybe it's the peoplewho've been on the boat for
eight weeks.
Yeah, because they're.
Oh no, daddy's eating moresausage.
Yeah, that's fine.
But I always wonder, like, whois that really for?
And maybe it's the people whohave been on the boat for eight
weeks.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
Yeah, Because they're just like.
At that point they're like,yeah, I can't eat any more
sausage.
Well, people say, fit as hell.
So on the top deck they had arunning track.
It's a one-mile running track.
Wow, people go jogging on theit a little bit.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
Did you walk the?
You walk the mile well afterthat.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
Well, you're on holiday.
You don't want to stressyourself, yeah.
But the thing is, because yousaid about destinations, but we
didn't do, we just did a cruise.
We didn't do a flying cruise.
So it wasn't like flyingsomewhere and then having a
cruise in the caribbean orsomething.
It was, um, yeah, the joy thatwas literally going to
southampton and then cruisingfrom there.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Um, so maybe just go to another one like the Med or
something, yeah, something likethe Med or um, uh, just a
different.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
It could be the same destination but a different
cruise ship, so it could be uhlike a Disney cruise yeah, they
live from.
Southampton.
Well, they change around, butthey have done this summer.
I don't know if they are nextsummer, but yeah, something like
that might be good.
I mean, adults do go on theirown, but it'd be good to go with
(47:55):
a toddler or a kid.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
If you want to go on a Disney cruise, Wiles, we would
like to go on a Disney cruise.
Shall we go on a Disney cruisetogether?
Ooh, that would be nice.
I would love to take LeslieAllen Brayden on a Disney cruise
.
Let's do it because startsaving, start saving.
They're not they're not cheapthey're not cheap but if we're
talking, if Disney are listening, can we get Disney to sponsor
(48:18):
the podcast?
Oh yeah if we just say MickeyMouse.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Mickey Mouse, mickey Mouse, mickey Mouse.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
I know that's pretty, yeah, but um would they sponsor
the podcaster I can give us ifwe review, if we do a whole?
Speaker 3 (48:27):
episode of their cruise.
People do stuff like that.
You know, I saw who was it.
There was, uh, what's her name,can't remember, but she's a
radio dj emma something, I think.
Then she she went, it could beactually, yeah, um, but she, um,
she was basically on her disneycruise for a week.
(48:47):
But I'm obviously doing herinstagram stuff about the disney
cruise, tagging them in blah,blah, blah, but she obviously
got paid to do that trip oh, ofcourse um well, do you want our
friend?
why can't we do that?
Why can't we do that?
Speaker 2 (49:00):
I know, we, we, yeah, I mean, the difference is they
got five million listeners andwe've only got 560,000 hardcore
downloads every single episode.
We're pushing for that 600,000.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Yeah, exactly, but if we were talking make-believe
loads of money, they do a.
The problem is it's one way,but at the end of a season from
southampton they then do like aone-way trip across the atlantic
to florida, so you could do adisney cruise to florida and
(49:34):
then go to the theme park, butyou might be disneyed out by
that point no, this is atwo-week cruise to get across
and you don't need to flybecause you said you don't like
flights.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
So yeah, I mean I don't like flying, but I'm also
like I don't like not goingplaces, so it's like what are?
You going to do you just haveto accept that.
You know you could get run overin the street Williams you
shouldn't wimp out from notdoing stuff because of flying.
I used to, but it is anexpensive way to get there.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
It could be an awesome way For the wife.
She has quite the history ofseasickness.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Does she?
Speaker 3 (50:12):
So we're a bit, and I was suspicious that this trip
could be an absolute nightmare.
If she's seasick, there's nogoing back.
Once you're off, am I going tobe sharing a cabin looking after
a toddler with a seasick wife?
Um, it's literally gonna beseasick.
You know they're both gonna beseasick yeah that could be fun.
So I was like oh, um.
(50:35):
But yeah, the ships are so big,you can't fit them in, can you?
Speaker 2 (50:40):
no, you don't even realize the movement.
Speaker 3 (50:42):
We did a bit, we did a bit.
When you go higher up in thedeck.
So one of the restaurants is,you know, on deck 14, whatever
it was.
Um, you feel it a bit morethere because obviously the
higher up.
You are the science um sciencewith williams we were deck, uh,
decade, and we were in midshipand you don't feel it?
(51:09):
Don't worry, just spend thefortune on a big boat.
Don't go anything lower thanwhat did I say it was.
I think it was the 14th biggest,no, 12th biggest 12th biggest
ship, so I can 12th biggest orhigher, you should be fine 10
out of 10-somethings.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Great first look.
1m.
Great first look.
Speaker 3 (51:31):
Yeah, I'm a cruiser and a centre parker now.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
He's changed You're a change man Change man.
So what's this announcementyou've got then?
Speaker 3 (51:43):
The announcement is I'm going to go into a little
career change.
I'm going to go into stand-upcomedy.
Oh, so I told my family that Iwas going to go into stand-up
comedy and all they did waslaugh Sorry, that was a dad joke
(52:05):
.
Sorry, that was a dad joke,bloody hell, walliams.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
I was genuinely like I'm going to change my career.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
I thought it was a genuine announcement.
You pillock.
No, it was a dad joke.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
I thought there was something serious going on.
I thought, okay, he's finallydecided he doesn't want to do
his job anymore.
He's going to change his career, he's going to go into audio
production, he's going toactually set up his own
production company and dopodcasts.
Speaker 3 (52:28):
Are you getting ready to have a?
Speaker 2 (52:29):
quite where do we go, I was thinking we need to have
a chat about this.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
I don't think you should go into standard comedy.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
I'm being serious there well, when he said
standard comedy, I thought,maybe, maybe it's it's an it's.
Standard comedy is whereintellectuals go and you know
the thinking men and women gointo stand-up comedy.
I thought, oh, I could seeWalliams doing stand-up comedy.
You are funny.
But, yeah, it was a bloody joke, Walliams.
Speaker 3 (52:57):
So there's no serious announcement.
No, no, there's just no.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
It was just a joke all along, no it was just see
you all, in two weeks, I guess.
Well, see you all in two weeksI guess.
Well, see you all in two weeks,I guess, if you're here still,
if you're not on some bloodyfancy holiday or doing stand up
somewhere well, yeah, what an exyou could be.
Speaker 3 (53:13):
Maybe you're doing stand up for Disney on a.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
Disney cruise.
Speaker 3 (53:17):
I could be.
I could be here yeah everynight we have Dan.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
Walliams every night.
Speaker 3 (53:22):
Every night the same jokes.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
I'd pay to see you, wiles.
Anyway, that was a lovelypodcast, lovely.
Speaker 3 (53:34):
See you next week.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
Two weeks everybody.
Speaker 3 (53:36):
Two weeks, two weeks, two weeks.
Next episode Two weeks.
Bye everyone.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
Bye everyone, bye everyone.
Ah, I live at the spinningglobe.
I'll show him and his crappyglobe that doesn't spin.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
If you enjoyed the show, please follow, rate and
review us on your favouritepodcast app.
It really helps more peoplefind us Got a first look.
You want us to try Emailfirstlooknomes at outlookcom, or
send it our way on Instagram atfirstlooknomes, or drop us a
voice note.
We'd love to hear from you.
First cruise with a toddler on PI Ona plus Isle of
Wight Festival at 40.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Welcome to First Look Gnomes your go-to podcast for
dads doing silly things, sharetips for dads and, of course,
the dad jokes and the bad jokes,but, most importantly, we're
here to share our first looks.
Don't forget to send in yourfeedback to our fish.
Bond of feedback and share yourthoughts, questions and own
first looks with us at.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
To send in your feedback to our fish bond of
feedback and share your thoughts, questions and our first looks
with us.
At first look.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Now it's at outlookcom three is a magic
podcast.
Yes, it is.
It's a magic podcast somewherein the ancient mystic trinity.
You get three as a magicpodcast.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Episode three episode three mr walliams episode three
, season four.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
uh, I'm doing okay.
It's pure chaos at the minute.
So I I am busy, busy, busy, butglad to be here with you
sipping some beer, having somechats and just generally podding
away, William.
So yeah, life is busy, but lifeis good.
How about?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
yourself.
Oh, good, good, I might touchupon it later in the podcast,
but I've been on holiday.
Ooh, I might touch upon itlater in the podcast, but I've
been on holiday, and on holidayI I bumped into.
I bumped into the man thatinvented the spinning globe.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's a small world.
Very good, williams, so youdidn't actually meet you didn't
actually meet the man, theinventor of spinning globe?
Yeah, no, I think that was alie.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I think they're long dead, I think they um surely it
was invented a long time agospinning globe what is it?
You know what spinning globe is?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
a globe like a like an actual, a spinning globe,
though the spinning ones.
You get them on like fancystudy desks yeah, yeah, but I
just assume they all spin likewhat if did?
Someone invent a globe and thensomeone decided, haha, I'll
invent the spinning globe, I'llshow him and his crappy globe
that doesn't spin well, you gotthe first invented the
(02:22):
inflatable globe okay you knowfor like pool parties and things
.
No, exactly so maybe yeah.
What the kinds of globes arethere?
Inflatable globes, spinningglobes?
Spinning globes um illuminatedglobes, stress globes you got
their stress globes.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
You know the ones you you squeeze.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah, the audience can't see my actions he's
pumping what he's pumping,ladies and gentlemen, um and you
get um globes as in like mapglobes well, no, because this is
a map actually map.
That's just a map, not a globeit's a flat globe.
You're flat globes for the flatboulders yeah, for the flat
boulders for the flat earthers.
(03:06):
Just a piece of paper.
Well, if there's any otherglobes that we've missed, ladies
and gentlemen, please write into please write in to
firstsitnames at outlookcom letus know about your globes.
Miss Hodgkiss yes, so tell usabout this holiday.
Was it good, or are we going towait for the holiday?
Speaker 3 (03:21):
well, that might be a first holiday.
Was it good, or we're gonnawait for?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
the holiday.
Possibly it's a tease, that is,ladies and gentlemen, he's
teasing us.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
He's teasing us, mr hodgkiss, give us a p?
P, give us a eintzen firstbites eintzen, first bites.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
What'd you get?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
pints and first bites it's Pints and First Bites time
, sponsored by Germany, we'llhave a first look at a pint or a
bite.
What's it going to be today?
Is it going to be a pint or abite?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I imagine it's going to be a pint.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Oh, who knows, oh, oh , oh.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
It's a pint.
Yay.
Welcome to Thirsty First, it'sa pint.
Yay.
Welcome to Thirsty First, it'sentirely random.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's entirely random.
I could have quite easilypicked up a pint-shaped snack,
but I didn't.
You're such an idiot.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You put your hand in a fridge where there's just cans
of beer.
Oh, what's that one?
I want a beer.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Oh, that's a pork pie .
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Don't touch the pork pie.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Today's pint is this has been in the fridge for a
while.
Actually.
This is a Vocation Brewery can,which I believe you actually
sent me.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I bought you that.
Yeah, that was on your birthdaybeer.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
So you're the one to blame for it's quite which,
which I believe you actuallysent me.
So you're the one to blame forit's quite cold, it's over cold.
Actually, in my frozen it is ayellow can with what looks like
Globes at the top, potentiallyspinning globes at the top.
There you go, that's the moon,you idiot.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
That's the moon where you go it's a spinning moon.
It's a spinning moon um andit's a it's a bread and butter
modern ale yeah, I bought itbecause I was like now what's
the most horrendous soundingbeer I can buy?
Because I'll send that towallim because he'll probably
like it.
Bread and butter bread andbutter.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
We had something similar.
I had a.
I had a beer made of bread,didn't I look at the website?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
to see previous reviews.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
That was an old one it was, yeah, um, a fresh, easy
drinking, dry, hot palecombining british malts of us
hops for a modern take on aclassic Crisp with mild citrus
notes.
There are lots of citrus beersout there, so how's a bread and
butter beer, citrus?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, I don't know, maybe because it's gone off and
it's tangy.
The whole thing is ridiculous.
Bread and butter, fruit andbeer.
No, no, no, no.
Do you know what you need,williams?
Speaker 3 (06:05):
A good old-fashioned mild.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Kimberley Mild.
None of this fruity nonsense.
Get me back to proper flavourand proper.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
They don't have Kimberley Milds anymore, do they
?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
You know what?
They're generally quite hard toget at mild.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yeah, please write in if you know any good places
that sell good mild and we'll behappy to visit and have a first
look.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Live.
It smells very citrusy itsmells very citrusy.
It doesn't smell like very muchat all.
It's very clear looking, itlooks like?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
it looks like a hydrated wee wee.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Refreshing, refreshing.
That'd be nice, as a shandyactually, that would.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Nice as a shandy.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Nice as a shandy.
A bit of lemonade in that on asunny day.
Yeah, currently a vocation,that's vocation.
Brewery voca, tio and vocationbut how many, how many?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I can't remember what the scoring system was that we
set up.
How many, how many fish ponds,how many?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
no, fingers, wasn't it I?
Many no fingers, I don't we'lldo, we'll, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Well, it's something.
How many, somethings, volumes,how many known how?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
many somethings.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I'll give it a you can't combine fingers and
fishing rods I'll give it aseven out of something a seven
out of something the problem isI don't know what the top end of
the scale is.
It doesn't matter I don't thinkit matters seven out of
something and we'll just leaveit.
That's good, it's good.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Check out the website for a comparison and league
table of all the first I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, I still, I still haven't finished the
website, sorry next season fivewell, you see, what did I tell
you about this?
Let me tell you about thewebsite oh, so because I host a
few websites and I ran out ofspace so if.
I'm going to host our website.
I've got to pay more money tohave more hostess spaces or
delete the paying customer.
(07:51):
I could delete a payingcustomer's website but, I,
probably won't problem yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I do.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I was waiting to get to a point where I need a couple
of websites so I can kind of,you know, buy in bulk Um.
You know, buy in bulk um, youknow, because I can't imagine
there's many people really wantto look on our website.
If you do want to go on ourwebsite, if you're like, yes, I
would check they don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
You don't know until you get up you can see it.
Well, you want to search, youwant to search for it, and then
it comes up.
You go, oh, and then you listento the podcast oh, I suppose I
probably better do that now.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
I've been promising it for like two seasons, now
three seasons.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, I'll try and do it once.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I'll try and do it by the end of the year we could
have been famous by now, butanyways, we could have do you
want to do your first look?
I can.
I can do my first look.
Yeah, so this week my firstlook is so we are recording this
during Glastonbury Festival.
Last year I remember talkingabout Glastonbury Festival
(08:47):
because, as avid listeners willknow, we are festival lovers.
But this year I don't just needto talk about a festival,
because I went to one.
We went to the Isle of WightFestival, which was on the Isle
of Wight, which was on the Isleof Wight.
(09:07):
And I've never been there before.
So I thought I'd tell you allabout the Isle of Wight Festival
.
Williams give you a bit of arundown of what we did, what we
enjoyed and how it was being a41-year-old man at a music
festival when I haven't been toone like a proper big one for
nearly like a decade or so.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
But there was a gang of 41 year olds, wasn't there?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
there was.
So this was a gang.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
What you call was it a a cuddle, a 41 year old a a
flock, a pride of a group ofknobs, just a big group of
knobheads, um, but yeah, therewas 40 of us uh on this.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
It was a friend of ours, stag do, uh, you know said
person 40, 40s gosh 40, 40s,yeah, um.
And so first thing on noteabout being in your 40s and
going to a music festival and ona stag, do in particular,
because this is I, I don't know,maybe, maybe, was it your first
festival as a 40 plus year old?
(10:05):
It was yes.
So we we go to a festival in inNorthern Ireland every year
called the doll fest, but that'svery family friendly.
So like we've taken brain andit's like, you know, scouting
for girls and there's ice creamtrucks and you know it's very
meek and mild.
Isle of Wight is like one ofthe big ones.
(10:26):
It's like, yeah, there's allsorts going on, yeah, till the
early hours of the morning andsubstance abuse and alcohol and
tents and all sorts going on um,so it's it's.
There was still a lot of kidsthere, I must admit there was
still a lot of people with kidsand like there was definitely
part of me, I was like why wouldyou bring young children to a
place like this?
It didn't seem, it didn'tdidn't strike me as a place I'd
want to take a child.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
You wouldn't take a baby there.
I've got to be honest.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
No, I wouldn't.
No, not until he's a lot older.
Yeah, yeah, no, I don't think Ipersonally.
It's subjective, I know, butI'm like festivals like this,
which are adult festivals, wherethe bands are effing and
jeffing, but I mean there is.
So, as an example, they wereselling bucket hats and at one
(11:09):
point we were stood watching oneof the bands and there's two
kids who can only be, I reckon,nine and ten right and they had
two bucket hats.
On one of the bucket hats hatswas covered in the word and the
other one was covered in theword um.
Yeah, the c, the C, the C word.
I'm like, okay, I probably soundvery snobby there, but I'm like
I'm all for buying your kidshats and stuff, but, like you
(11:31):
know, with Minecraft on, notwith, not with those kinds of
words on, uh, like why is itfunny?
But anyway.
Um, there was lots of kidsthere, but I didn't think it was
a kid festival.
I think it was very much youknow, there was groups like us
there, 40 year old lads who were, just you know, annihilated.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
But was it?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
getting married.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
But was a 40 year old festival or was a?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Oh yeah, it was a 40 year old festival, so the acts
who were playing were very muchgeared towards our age group.
So it was, there was no kind oflike.
There wasn't like Charlie XCXand Wet Leg and all the cool
young kid bands.
It was like ah, it's Sting andJustin Timberlake and the
Stereophonics and Busted bandsthat we would have enjoyed when
(12:17):
we were kind of like 15, 20.
So it was definitely catered to.
I think we were the average age.
There were some younger people.
There was definitely catered to.
I think we were the average age.
There were some younger people.
There was definitely some olderpeople.
There was, like I saw, a lot ofpeople probably in their late
50s, early 60s, maybe even up tothe 70s, so there was
definitely kind of older peoplethere.
But it was a brilliant place,like really impressive big site.
(12:39):
It wasn't as big as Glastonburybut it was still sizeable and
the and the other white's lovely.
So we've got to get thehovercraft across, uh, which was
cool, and we stayed in like anAirbnb.
And that's from so that was fromPortsmouth.
So we got, we flew intoSouthampton and then went across
to Portsmouth, then traveleddown from Portsmouth um on the
(13:00):
ferry over to Isle of Wight andthen we're about three miles
away from where the hovercraftdropped us off and then about a
20-minute bus ride to the actualsite.
So it was pretty good.
So it was cool.
So there was eight of us in ourhouse.
There was like different,because there were so many of us
, we didn't just have one place,there was lots of us started
around the place and we had anice house with a garden, marden
(13:20):
and morgan, who we we know inprevious episodes as mr barbecue
manly man, and he brought acricket bat and we were just
camping.
Then I thought you were campingthen no, we're too old and
smelly for that.
I don't think I'd want to.
There was I tell you this.
Actually, there was definitelyparts coming home of an evening.
So, like once you've been onyour feet all day, you're
walking like 15 000 steps andyou think, oh, I just want to go
(13:42):
home now it's two o'clock inthe morning, ready for, ready
for bed, and I'm in.
I'm old, like I'm an old man,I'm like bye, bye min I'm ready
for my bed now, even as ayounger man.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
You're disappearing.
Where's he going?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
oh, he's sleeping on a cliff I did fall asleep in a
portly on the on the sundown daythree.
I went for it.
I went for a wee sit down andthen woke up about 15 minutes
later thinking I've fallenasleep there, I'm in a
port-a-loo and I've just had anap.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Can you imagine the person waiting, waiting in the
queue?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
No, it did, though, genuinely one of those ones
where I think I sat down andjust closed my eyes and then
just fell asleep, because wedidn't have much sleep every
night.
We only get like four or fivehours sleep, but then we got
back to the house and theneveryone's getting up in the
morning and stuff.
There wasn't much sleep but wedid, um, we uh, yeah.
So, but it was fun and I tried,we did cold water swimming in
(14:35):
the mornings, which I've neverdone before morning.
We went in the sea, which wasfun.
Yeah, the whole experience wasreally cool.
The, the festival was brilliant.
Some of the acts were brilliant, like we saw.
So busted were great.
They were, like you know, justfun.
Um, and justin timberlakeimpressed me.
He was good.
Um, we saw lots of acts andit's fun.
(14:57):
It's funny because the group wewere with there were some
people who like loved bustedbecause like, yeah, this is
simple.
There's people like this issure I want something cool.
I was like it was such a mix,um, but I think everyone had a
good time.
The stack had a really goodtime.
He took everything like anabsolute champ, to be honest,
like people threw a lot at himand he was still a big stack,
(15:17):
isn't it 40?
it was, it was.
He's a popular boy, though,isn't?
He, he's got a lot of.
He's like he's got his homemates, his union mates, his
london mates, his work mates.
He's got a lot of he's got hishome mates, his union mates,
he's london mates, his workmates, he's.
You know he's a he's a popularboy and it, but he took
everything very well.
Um, and it was one of thosethings I was like I was glad to
go home, but I'm also like gladI went and I'd go again.
So I think that's a good sign.
(15:38):
When you think, yeah, I couldgo, I'd go there again.
I'll go and do that weekend allover again, getting beer,
wasn't't that?
Speaker 3 (15:43):
hard, reasonable for a festival price.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yeah, reasonable and good beer as well.
It was all BrewDuck stuff so itwas decent beer and the food
stalls were good.
So even with my kidney stonesand gallstones, I didn't find it
too difficult to find food andyou know, it was really good, it
was fantastic.
But you know, even though therewas parts where I was like, oh,
this is like getting home likewas just tiresome and having to
organize taxes and stuff washard, but it was well worth it.
(16:07):
The highs are still worth it.
So I would recommend any kindof dads or moms who are like you
know what.
Should we go to a festival?
We're a bit old.
Do we want to go?
It's, there's still great funand there's loads to do, loads
of variety.
A couple of times we just kindof disappeared and we watched
like a Foo Fighters tribute band.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
They were in a tent with.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
They were playing kind of like just cheesy music
and it was just yeah, you canloud music, beer and good
friends.
You can't really have a badtime.
The amount of steps and walking.
I'm like next time I go to afestival I'm going to go into
training for six monthsbeforehand.
But yeah, it was good.
However, what I wouldn'trecommend is gonna bring me on
(16:44):
to Tim for dad's tips for dad'sone thing about your tips out
for the dance one thing that Iwon't recommend.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Well, be careful how to buy your kids well, be
careful.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
That is a tip.
Yes, if you're gonna buy, ifyou're considering buying your
heart, your kid, a hat with theword on it, think, think twice,
because you know kids don't needthat just get a good one.
This is our white festival orsomething yeah, just a nice one
yeah which probably costs afortune, but some of the merch
(17:16):
was quite expensive on thesunday night we were, so our
taxi back wasn't till 2 am, um,but Justin Timberlake and look,
finish 11.
Then I want to watch James fora bit.
They finished at 5 to 12 andthen it was two hours still to
the taxi, in about nothing.
I had one and a half mile walkand I was.
It was starting to rain and Iwas cold and I was like ah,
(17:37):
should I buy a hoodie for themerch stand?
I was like 50 quid.
I was like nah what I ended updoing walliams, which was genius
.
I got the piss taken out of me,but at this I couldn't imagine
that on a stack too, no no, butlike at this point they were
starting to, there was all thewheelie bins and there was all
the cleanup operation hadstarted right, so this is like
the all the fireworks had goneoff the festival.
(17:59):
No, no, there was a massive rollof wheelie bin bin liners,
bright green bin liners and Iwas like that'll keep the rain
off me, so I took one off,ripped a hole in the top and
wore it like a poncho, and I'mnot kidding, it was genius
because it was big so it fit meand it was warm inside and I
(18:21):
walked to that bus, smug as asanything in my bin bag, and
everyone was like what are youdoing?
I was like it's cold.
It's not that cold.
I was like it is, I'm wearingmy bin bag.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
And I'm dry.
Yes, I'm wearing my bin bag.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
I mean, I could probably talk for an hour on
some of the stuff that happened.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You basically sound like a homeless drunk.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
You fell asleep in toilet and then you walked home
in a bin bag, pretty much afterwatching justin timberlake, as
you do.
So, yeah, it was good fun, butgetting there, walliams.
So this is another first lookand leads me to my tips, for
that nearly died, walliams,nearly died and my first
experience, because I'm not, I'mnot the greatest flyer no, no,
no, no, this was to do with theairplane, so I'm not the
greatest flyer.
I don't mind flying.
I used to hate flying, used toavoid flying at all costs.
(19:10):
I've kind of come to terms withyou know, we're all going to
die at some point.
If you're not in a plane crash,at least it's fairly quick, um
cheery.
But uh, on this one I thought,oh crap, oh.
So I had my first experience ofone of those landings when they
decide actually we're not goingto land the plane, we may be
about to touch down the runway,but we'll just go back up again
(19:32):
Abort, abort, abort.
I had my first experience ofthat and that is not a nice
experience.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Was it the wind or?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It was the heat, so we're having a bit of a heat
wave.
So apparently the heat wascoming off and like we were
coming in, so it was one of thepropeller planes, the small
propeller planes and we werecoming into land and the plane
was moving around like you won'tbelieve.
I was like what is going on?
I was like just get us down,please pray to god.
I was like god, please, justget us down.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Did you have a window seat, or yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:02):
no, I was in the oil.
I sat next to this poor womanand this will bring me to my
tips for dads um, but we'recoming down and the plane is
moving all over the show and Iwas like this is not going to be
a fun landing.
We get just down above therunway and then you feel it.
You're like okay, you knowyou're preparing to touch down.
Like okay, cool, you can see it.
(20:23):
Why aren't we touching down?
And you start going up again.
Oh, my.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
I'm like.
You can see the, you can seethe airport you're on the runway
.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
You're like what's going on?
And you just take off and go upand like, obviously, they put
the thrusters up, like oh, okay,and everyone's like.
Everyone starts to be like oh,oh, yeah, the chatter and I'm
like oh yeah, nervous laughterprobably yeah absolute
nervous laughter and then theycome on the tanner and said
we're sorry about that, we'regonna go back up and come back
(21:05):
around again due to the heat, uh, flip.
So um, yeah, we survived, wegot down eventually.
But it brings me to my tips fordads williams tips for dads if
you think you're about to die ina plane crash don't grab the
one next to you well, that's oneof them, so I've got a few.
So obviously I use humor a lotof the time to mask my true
(21:27):
feelings.
So my first tip for dads ifyou're about to dine a plank
I've seen you sat next to astranger don't make a wise crack
to the person sat next to youwho is panicking even more than
you, because they might need tosee the funny side.
So I was a little bit nervous.
Obviously, the woman next to mewas absolutely petrified what
(21:47):
did you say?
she was shaking like a shittingdog she was.
She was so nervous and I wasgonna say my first instinct was
to kind of say to her like onthe plus side, you can keep
watching your tv show.
Like you know, just trying tolighten the situation but, I
thought, no, no, don't do that.
Don't do that.
I don't think that's a goodidea.
I don't think she'll thank youfor it.
(22:07):
I also then.
So second tip for dad, which Ididn't do, but I wanted to, like
I was going to take a hand andhold a hand and say it's okay,
and I thought you can't do that.
These days, william, you can'tgrab a stranger Was that for you
or for her?
No, it was definitely.
Hold me no normally, because ifI'm with Lesley-Anne I'll
(22:28):
obviously hold her hand as we'recoming down.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, but she's right it comforts me.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Yeah, it comforts me.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
But this one I was like I was bad, I was pretty
nervous, but the woman next tome was genuinely terrified.
And your instinct is to kind oflike take them by the hand and
just be like it's okay.
Look, it's perfectly safe andyou're kind of your dad.
Go your dad mode, just kind ofokay.
Right, I'm more composed thanthis person next to me, so I
need to be the adult in thissituation.
(22:54):
Um, but I was like you cannotjust grab a person's hand these
days, williams.
Even if it's better for any way.
So, as much as you may want todo, not grab that person's hand,
don't make a joke about it.
So one thing I would advise wedo do.
Another tip for Dad, whichsomebody clearly didn't do, was
hold your fart in Williams.
Hold your fart in.
(23:15):
I managed to, but somebody onthe plane didn't.
Okay, right I?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
presumed I managed to , but somebody on the plane
didn't okay, right, and.
I presumed it wasn't, it wasn'tpleasant Walliams, it wasn't
pleasant.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It was definitely like oh, are we going to die?
What's that smell?
I mean but yeah, we allsuffered for that one for a bit
and then finally, do youremember, even even though it's
quite scary, the you got to bepragmatic and realize, like it's
one in 11 million, um, thepilots know what they're doing.
(23:50):
You're probably going to beokay, I think.
There's just there's been somuch news on the, oh, so much
news recently it's just like ofcourse, as soon as you got FF,
everyone was like who was inseat 11A?
who was in seat 11A?
And like well, we all survived.
So you know, we didn't actuallycrash, we just had an aborted
landing, but it wasn't not themost fun experience.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Well, but yeah, the pilot obviously knew what they
were doing.
They could have carried on andnot abort the landing.
Oh yeah, I can do this.
And then obviously, uhobviously, there's something
affecting it.
I still don't quite understand.
It's the heat that yeah, I'mnot.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I'm not quite sure really, because the air
turbulence, because the heatcoming off, so it probably
affected the turbulence.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
I'm not sure.
Science people it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
When we did come down and land, it wasn't nice and
there was a.
It was one of those ones whereeveryone cheered and so, um, but
yeah.
So those are my tips for dads.
If you were in that situation,um yeah, don't grab the person's
hand, don't make a wisecrack,do hold your farts in and do
remember you're going to be okayso hold your farts, don't hold
(25:02):
the whole band next to you yeah,random stranger unless if she
grabs your hand, that's okay,right, unless it's not okay, I
don't know what is okay thesedays.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Well a follow-up from the previous podcast, which, um
, I always like doing becauseyou forget, um.
So another one of littleLogan's new animal terms.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
So one of his toys he referred to.
So just as a reminder, in thelast episode I told you about
the Nunite Bears.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
The koalas.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
yes, the Ra-Ra's.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
The lions.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
The red bears.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
The red pandas yes.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
The Splash Ra-Ra's raras sea lions.
I remember got that one lasttime I thought the hippos and so
a new one, and my tip is justto embrace these different terms
.
You know you use thesedifferent names for animals, but
uh, yellow up ups giraffes yeah, yellow, up, ups, that's yellow
(26:01):
it's a whole different language, isn't it kids?
Yes, but I think they'rethey're better names, to be
honest a yellow up up.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah, can we go to the yellow up ups?
Yeah, that's brilliant.
Kids are genius.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Wells, kids are genius first looks, my first
look.
Sorry, mr archie is on my um.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Let me guess let me guess what oh his first.
Look sorry, mr Archie, on mylet me guess.
Let me guess what oh his firstlook it's gonna be, did you go
on holiday?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
I did go on holiday.
I met, I met.
I met someone that invented thespinning globe.
Good, call back good call back.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
That's a spot back.
You're a pro no, my first.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I had a first look, so you know I don't want to
paint a a picture.
I know the last podcast.
Well, I guess before I spokeabout centre parks ooh,
someone's been well themselvesthis time I had a first look at
a cruise.
Oh, my days, so hang on, areyou just?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
are you making loads of profit on this podcast?
This time I had a first look ata cruise.
Oh my days, william.
So hang on, are you makingloads of profit from this
podcast?
And you're just not telling meabout it.
I'm falling asleep in toiletsand wearing bin bags.
You're going to Centre Parcsand going on cruises.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Yes, so we went on our first cruise as a little
family, oh dear.
So we went on the P&L cruisewith the Iona.
So we booked ages ago.
We just went.
We wanted to take a little lessand we wanted it to be a
special.
Um, it's basically ourhoneymoon, but a long time away
since our wedding.
(27:31):
But it was a special, a specialtrip and um, a lot of cruises
are all sort of, you know, theycan be quite fancy, um, and they
used to be very much like justyour, your older people although
we are older people now um, but, um, you know, it was perfect
(27:53):
level for, uh, for us and atwo-year-old.
Um, when I on a cruise to theNorwegian fjords.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Amazing.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Yeah, so we're staying in Southampton the night
before and then these ships.
They're massive, so the Iona isthe 12th biggest in the world.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Miss Iona is one of the largest cruise ships ever
built for the UK.
She's eco-friendly, powered byliquefied natural gas for
cleaner sailing.
Built in Germany and launchedin 2020, the ship boasts a
stunning sky dome, aglass-covered pool by day,
entertainment venue by night.
Named after the peacefulScottish island of Iona, she
(28:35):
regularly cruises the Norwegianfjords.
With 30 plus bars andrestaurants, this ship is
basically a floating resort.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
It's nuts that there's bigger ships than that
one.
It's huge, I don't know how todescribe it.
A big old ship, I thinksomething massive Logan.
Because we said we're going ona boat, there's a ship.
I said we're going on a boat,um, and then we're on it, and
(29:09):
then we're saying I'm on theboat, it's like, no is basically
a big hotel that floats, um,but it's um eight, eight too
(29:30):
much, um.
So you know, you can go tothese like sort of posh
restaurants where you've justgot your um, your big sort of
buffet style, yeah, or you caneat stuff.
I was trying not to have a fryup.
Apologies for your gold bladder, but I was trying not to have a
fry up every day, but every dayI had a fry toast.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
You're on your honeymoon, you've got to be
having a fry up every day.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I ate way too much.
And we also picked the creasebecause we didn't want too much
hassle with flying a millionmiles away, driving to the
airport, waiting at the airport,then flying to somewhere,
especially a Logan.
You know you've got to keepthem occupied.
Oh, simple is better, yeah, butyeah, southampton, so that was
the main.
(30:12):
So we broke up the drive toSouthampton, stopped off a
couple of places, but all in allonly sort of hour sort of trip.
Um, set a hotel and then the,the getting on board.
It's so smooth, so quick.
Obviously, once you're on,you're on your holiday.
You know you're not, you knowthat you've reached your
destination.
It's not like, oh, we wait foran airport, like for a flight,
(30:35):
um, so yeah, smoothest, speedycheck-in, what are you gonna
call it?
Whatever done.
We sort of parked the car and wehad basically someone jumped in
.
I felt like we got muggedactually.
So within about 10 minutes wego out the car.
Someone else jumped in, drovethe car off, we walked about 10
(30:57):
meters and so on.
She's got your tags on thatsays what about your arm?
And then someone just grabsyour bag, chucks them down, this
um, yeah, convert about chuckedon one of those off your pop.
And so what just happened there?
Someone just taken our car,grabbed our luggage.
Um, I mean, we managed to skipthe queues a fair bit because,
(31:19):
you know, we had a pram withlogan and they're like really
good, they're like just gothrough here and nice and um,
yeah, so it was, you know, allreally smooth.
The only bit was, which wasunlucky for us was, um, so our
bags are left outside our cabin,great, but we're missing one
bag.
So we still didn't have the bagof all sort of logan and stuff
(31:41):
in.
And oh, no, it's okay, I'll be.
As we spoke to reception, oh,they'll, they'll be there
eventually.
And then georgie went sort ofthe way, for wife went back
again.
So we still haven't got the, uh, got the bag yet she's starting
to panic now.
She's like, yeah, we want to gointo relax mode, the bag.
Yet, um, and they're likethat's right.
(32:01):
And he said when should I panic?
He said it should be, you know,within the next half hour,
cause the last bags are comingthrough.
Um, so we went back an hourlater.
They were like um, panickingnow, um, and then so have you
checked there?
Because there's a pile of justbags they put where they
couldn't locate the room wherethe tag fell off or whatever.
(32:22):
And we look through the thatcollection no bags, not there oh
no and they were just about togo into panic.
Man, this lady walks down withthis bag.
So yeah, we've got it in theend.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
So where did it mean?
Speaker 3 (32:37):
well they said probably well, because it had um
logan's, um light lines orthings like that electronic.
So they think probably went forsecurity.
And so what's all this?
Yeah yeah, or spike, yeah, um,bomb spike.
Yeah, logan had it.
He stopped napping a while ago,but then he started napping
(32:59):
again on holiday, which wasgreat okay and she mentioned
quite a few, just fall asleep inhis pram and we have a glass of
champagne or whatever you knowjust lovely.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Wow, that sounds amazing um but um.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
The second day was we just started to get into right
on holiday.
They went for a swim.
Georgia and I went for a swim,george and I went for a swim,
and then on the back of Logan'sleg was a tick, no, yeah, a tick
.
So buried into the back ofLogan's knee I was like where on
earth did he get that from?
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Quick disclaimer here .
When we mentioned our toddlerfound a tick behind their knee
while we were on the Iona cruiseship.
We just want to be super clear.
That doesn't mean it came fromthe ship itself.
The day before we boarded we'dbeen walking around a national
trust park and we also stayed ina hotel overnight, so
realistically, the tick couldhave come from any of those
(33:53):
places.
They were absolutely brilliantabout it.
Once we mentioned it, theyarranged an extra thorough clean
of our cabin straight away,just to be safe.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
So we're a bit panicky.
We could try to get outourselves, but then if we squish
it and then it's dangerous ifthe head basically pops, yeah,
and you get all sorts of scarystuff.
So we had a visit to Deck deckthree with the, the cruise
doctors and and loviness fromNorthern Ireland and she was
(34:32):
lovely.
She got out of bubbles andstuff for Logan and she's had a
look and sort of took it out in.
You know, an easy A pair oftweezers A pair of tweezers.
Yeah, and just popped it outDid.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Logan even realise.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
No, no, no.
He learnt the word tick a lotof times.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
If you don't want a kid running, I'm going tick,
tick, tick, tick, tick.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
The doctor came in to have a little look to check
there's no sort of infection orwhatever.
And I said to Georgie, he was agood looking chap, this doctor.
He was a good looking chap.
I was a bit worried.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
I'm not going to stay in Dr Dreamy yeah, it was Dr
Dreamy did Georgie start doingthis like?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
yeah, just flicking her hair looking at her oh, I
think I've got a chick as well,I'm right no, yes, would you
look at this?
oh, I've just dropped something,I just need to uh yes slowly
doctor yeah, so we quickly leftthere 50 pound age or whatever
it was um well, ims, you gotnothing to worry about that
(35:34):
woman loves you but um, yeah.
So then after that was done andthey said I'll keep an eye on
it because you know if it startsflaring up or whatever, then
the bit of whatever got into theblood.
But yeah, so we went to variousdifferent places in the fjords.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Is it just stunning?
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Yeah, yeah, beautiful , beautiful.
It had all sorts of weather.
We thought being somewherewould be fairly all right, um,
but one day, because we ended upat a sky lift and up, up, um to
the as long as um, into the um,into the mountains, so we ended
up having to buy like a bubblehat.
(36:15):
So this is, you know, this isjune, so you had to buy a bubble
hat and you know better, wear acoat and jumper and stuff and
um.
But then the next day it wassuper sunny, so we were like
shorts and t-shirt, um, so allthe weather under the sun, um,
also, on the third day yes, thefirst day was bag.
Second day was um tick.
(36:36):
Third day, walking through um,a place called uh stavanger, um,
and then a bunch of seagullsflew over georgie, um, and you
can predict what happened no,that's good luck, good luck yeah
, so georgie was very lucky uhshe married you.
Of course she is yeah, um, butuh, all her favorite tops but
(37:00):
ended up getting cleaned prettygood and I was at towards the
end of our walk around the townso we just went back to the boat
.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
You have to go to the doctor though she had to go to
the doctor.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
Just in case you got affected by the seagull.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, oh I better go into the volumes.
I better go to the doctor.
I'll be.
I might be a day or two doctor,doctor, um yeah so we had, uh,
some great days for.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
So, yeah, we went to different places, had our sea
days as well, which youbasically eat, and there's loads
of performance things going onwe managed to go to some shows
as well, which you know.
We haven't been to a show loganyet because he's so young that
you don't really want to spend afortune on going to a show.
And then, of course, oh, butwith this, we went, like, if
he's not enjoying it or playingup a bit, we can just go because
(37:46):
it doesn't cost us anything butyeah, he really enjoyed it.
Um all the movement and stuff Ilove it and uh yeah, yeah, he
really enjoyed it did you havesome nice beers?
yeah, that that's my spirit.
Too many, though, um didn'treally.
The holiday was the cruise, asopposed to going to Norway.
I didn't feel like I've been toNorway.
(38:09):
I felt like I'd been on acruise.
Yeah, cause you kind of you'reon the cruise and then you get
off and then you're in theselovely little Norwegian towns,
but 5,000 British people havejust got off as well.
So you're just hearing allthese different I live with,
puddle your accents, draw theaccents, yeah, all these
different accents from Britainin a little Norwegian town.
(38:32):
This is a bit it's a bit surreal.
But one place, which was inGranger, we thought we'd we put
on that.
We've been on a big.
Well, logan progressed fromcalling a big hotel to a big,
which is a big boat, a ship, andthat was, you know, the honking
(38:54):
of the ship.
And yeah, granger, because you,it's weird because it's it's
like you're in a very big roombecause you have like a big wall
behind you and then to the leftand right and then you've got
the field.
It's just a it's a surrealbecause this is huge walls
surrounding you.
(39:15):
I don't know how to describe it, but just incredible landscape
really, really good.
A 80 ate too much.
Oh, had our first um, so thatthere's a gelato place.
Um, but we ended up, um, Idon't know how we did it.
I don't know if we orderedwrong or not.
Um, but it's an afternoon tea,but it's an ice cream afternoon
(39:35):
tea okay so, uh, so each, youbasically each have a coffee,
lovely, and then with thatcoffee you have um.
So on the top layer, um, it'sbasically like a magnum, but you
have two.
Let's go two, two magnums each,okay and then, and then you've
(39:56):
got um two-down cones of icecream each and then two ice
cream macaroons.
Oh my days and two.
I don't know how to describethem, but that kind of Twix bar,
(40:17):
ice cream things.
Things round, things Each.
So this was each, no.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
And did you eat it all?
Speaker 3 (40:27):
No, no, I couldn't.
I almost did, almost did.
I think I left one item.
Speaker 5 (40:34):
Snowflakes Gelato.
Afternoon Tea A twist on thetraditional afternoon tea.
We serve a selection ofbite-sized gelato treats,
including mini gelato macarons,gelato cannoli, gelato cookie
praline and white chocolate domegelato sticks and mini gelato
cones, served with your choiceof Costa coffee.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Yeah, because usually if you have a Magnum you'd have
like one.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
That's enough, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
You wouldn't have two Magnums, two ice creams, two
Magnums no you don't need 3,000calories worth of ice cream.
Yeah, at least.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
But you're on holiday .
So it's one of those treethings, isn't it?
But we're on holiday.
When are you ever going to do?
Speaker 5 (41:15):
that again, tea is large enough to share between
two or even three people.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Exactly it sounds like it was a beautiful trip.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
There is no family who deserves a lovely vacation
than you three.
I'm so glad you got to go andenjoy it and actually have some
time together.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
I know I enjoyed it.
He learned a lot as well, sodefinitely something I can get
into, but it takes it.
So he learned a lot as well, sodefinitely something like that
again.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
But it takes the pressure off you and Georgie as
well.
Like you know, when the kid'shappy and you know the kid's
safe and you know there's thingsto do with a kid, you can enjoy
yourself Because you're like,okay, we're going to see a show
with Logan, that's awesome.
That's such a bit bigger.
(42:04):
It's like, oh, this is nice.
Um, so you'd go again, wouldyou?
You recommend it?
Speaker 3 (42:09):
oh.
So we went to um, so stammeringlovely place.
Get back on the boat, go for ameal.
So we're tuned to poshrestaurants as well.
So we went to a posh restaurant.
It's like, because there's poshrestaurants included, there's
ones you pay extra for, there'sposh restaurants that are
included in your price.
So again you thought, well,we're not taking him to a posh
restaurant yet give it a go.
He was a superstar, might aswell do it, and they were really
(42:30):
good of him.
They did the whole.
You know how they sort of whenthey and they grabbed the, the
cloth and sort of put it overyour, over your, knees they did
that for Logan.
They put their blanket over hislegs and things yeah, he was
really good and it was like aposh meal and it was nice going
out for a posh meal like withhim and he was, he was really
(42:50):
good about it.
But yeah, definitely do itagain, because yeah went to
Stavanger and then you go back,have the posh meal, go to bed,
wake up in the morning, you'reout somewhere else and then you
go back after posh meal, go tobed, wake up in the morning,
you're at somewhere else andthen you just get off the boat
and that's amazing.
You haven't got to travel.
You know.
You know someplace, you staysomewhere, then you have to
drive to that place and drive tothat place, whereas this you're
just um, you're on holiday 24 7and did you see any like any
(43:17):
nice?
Speaker 2 (43:17):
do you see anything like the?
Speaker 3 (43:18):
uh, no, no, because because it'd be in um june, so
we had basically 20 hours ofsunshine, because when you go
that, when you go that far north, it's just so much sunshine
each day, of course, yeah, um.
So yes, you didn't really seeany um, which was nice because
you know you constantly got anice view, um, but I didn't
realize how so most of theholidays are was the north sea,
(43:40):
so obviously you have to gothrough the North Sea to get to
Norway.
How busy it is.
We've got oil rigs and windfarms and oh yeah, yeah, it's a
bit nuts, but yeah, then I gotback and super speedy getting
off, just really simple.
Just go through a bit of therigmarole of you know, checking
(44:02):
out, but super simple.
Definitely recommend cruisingto flying if you can.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
How many somethings out of somethings would you give
it then, Miles?
Speaker 3 (44:13):
Ten somethings, ten somethings.
I'm a converted cruiser.
I'm now a converted cruiser.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Amazing.
It's the convenience for thekids, isn't it?
It's just like you know whatwe're getting.
To the age now where I?
Isn't it?
It's, it's just like you knowwhat we're getting today's.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Now what I don't want to travel for 18 hours.
I can take all the time out,and then I'm not cooking and not
just, and isn't it?
And pick what you want as well,just oh oh, props every day
mate oh, I mean a week wasenough.
I think if I did two weeks, youknow it's, isn't it funny,
right?
Speaker 2 (44:45):
you won't be able to get out there.
Oh, would you?
76 magnums I've eaten.
I've eaten nothing but red meat, um and pork.
Yeah, I had sausages.
I've never been to southhampton.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
He loved a sausage, the uh.
Have you ever been toSouthampton before?
Speaker 2 (45:07):
No, no, no, my first time, me neither, and yet both
of our first looks originatedfrom Southampton today.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
Southampton is the well.
It's not the place to go to,it's the place to go somewhere
else.
Speaker 5 (45:19):
Go there to bugger off.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Southampton.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
Welcome and then go.
Away.
Southampton Welcome and then goaway Southampton's tagline.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
You know, like every city has the brand of a city.
Southampton, fuck off yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
Yeah, the welcome sign is see you later.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Yeah, goodbye.
I'm glad you had a good time.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
That's lovely, very good.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
And where are you going to go then?
So on your next cruise, you'vejust won the lottery.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
Just won the lottery.
Oh, around the world cruise.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
And you go just around the world cruise, Around
the world cruise.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
I don't know.
No, because I was talking aboutthat with George the other day.
At what point do you go from?
Because a week, two weeks andthen over two, I can't eat until
they fry up.
I can't keep drinking.
You end up going to a bit morenormality, don't you?
Maybe I don't know.
I've never been on holiday morethan two weeks.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Well, that's true.
You don't know what you don'tknow, do you?
No?
Maybe you love it.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
But yeah, I've been on the world cruise.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Maybe that's why On these cruises, right, I always
wonder, like you go forbreakfast in the morning
sausages, eggs but then you allsee things like porridge and
fruit and you're like who'seating that on one of these
things?
Speaker 3 (46:33):
lego had his fruit, he's a much healthier than I am.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
It was really good I wasn't setting an example at all
oh no, daddy's eating moresausage.
Yeah, that's fine.
But I always wonder, like,who's that really for?
And then maybe it's the peoplewho've been on the boat for
eight weeks.
Yeah, because they're.
Oh no, daddy's eating moresausage.
Yeah, that's fine.
But I always wonder, like, whois that really for?
And maybe it's the people whohave been on the boat for eight
weeks.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
Yeah, Because they're just like.
At that point they're like,yeah, I can't eat any more
sausage.
Well, people say, fit as hell.
So on the top deck they had arunning track.
It's a one-mile running track.
Wow, people go jogging on theit a little bit.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
Did you walk the?
You walk the mile well afterthat.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
Well, you're on holiday.
You don't want to stressyourself, yeah.
But the thing is, because yousaid about destinations, but we
didn't do, we just did a cruise.
We didn't do a flying cruise.
So it wasn't like flyingsomewhere and then having a
cruise in the caribbean orsomething.
It was, um, yeah, the joy thatwas literally going to
southampton and then cruisingfrom there.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Um, so maybe just go to another one like the Med or
something, yeah, something likethe Med or um, uh, just a
different.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
It could be the same destination but a different
cruise ship, so it could be uhlike a Disney cruise yeah, they
live from.
Southampton.
Well, they change around, butthey have done this summer.
I don't know if they are nextsummer, but yeah, something like
that might be good.
I mean, adults do go on theirown, but it'd be good to go with
(47:55):
a toddler or a kid.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
If you want to go on a Disney cruise, Wiles, we would
like to go on a Disney cruise.
Shall we go on a Disney cruisetogether?
Ooh, that would be nice.
I would love to take LeslieAllen Brayden on a Disney cruise
.
Let's do it because startsaving, start saving.
They're not they're not cheapthey're not cheap but if we're
talking, if Disney are listening, can we get Disney to sponsor
(48:18):
the podcast?
Oh yeah if we just say MickeyMouse.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Mickey Mouse, mickey Mouse, mickey Mouse.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
I know that's pretty, yeah, but um would they sponsor
the podcaster I can give us ifwe review, if we do a whole?
Speaker 3 (48:27):
episode of their cruise.
People do stuff like that.
You know, I saw who was it.
There was, uh, what's her name,can't remember, but she's a
radio dj emma something, I think.
Then she she went, it could beactually, yeah, um, but she, um,
she was basically on her disneycruise for a week.
(48:47):
But I'm obviously doing herinstagram stuff about the disney
cruise, tagging them in blah,blah, blah, but she obviously
got paid to do that trip oh, ofcourse um well, do you want our
friend?
why can't we do that?
Why can't we do that?
Speaker 2 (49:00):
I know, we, we, yeah, I mean, the difference is they
got five million listeners andwe've only got 560,000 hardcore
downloads every single episode.
We're pushing for that 600,000.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Yeah, exactly, but if we were talking make-believe
loads of money, they do a.
The problem is it's one way,but at the end of a season from
southampton they then do like aone-way trip across the atlantic
to florida, so you could do adisney cruise to florida and
(49:34):
then go to the theme park, butyou might be disneyed out by
that point no, this is atwo-week cruise to get across
and you don't need to flybecause you said you don't like
flights.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
So yeah, I mean I don't like flying, but I'm also
like I don't like not goingplaces, so it's like what are?
You going to do you just haveto accept that.
You know you could get run overin the street Williams you
shouldn't wimp out from notdoing stuff because of flying.
I used to, but it is anexpensive way to get there.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
It could be an awesome way For the wife.
She has quite the history ofseasickness.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Does she?
Speaker 3 (50:12):
So we're a bit, and I was suspicious that this trip
could be an absolute nightmare.
If she's seasick, there's nogoing back.
Once you're off, am I going tobe sharing a cabin looking after
a toddler with a seasick wife?
Um, it's literally gonna beseasick.
You know they're both gonna beseasick yeah that could be fun.
So I was like oh, um.
(50:35):
But yeah, the ships are so big,you can't fit them in, can you?
Speaker 2 (50:40):
no, you don't even realize the movement.
Speaker 3 (50:42):
We did a bit, we did a bit.
When you go higher up in thedeck.
So one of the restaurants is,you know, on deck 14, whatever
it was.
Um, you feel it a bit morethere because obviously the
higher up.
You are the science um sciencewith williams we were deck, uh,
decade, and we were in midshipand you don't feel it?
(51:09):
Don't worry, just spend thefortune on a big boat.
Don't go anything lower thanwhat did I say it was.
I think it was the 14th biggest,no, 12th biggest 12th biggest
ship, so I can 12th biggest orhigher, you should be fine 10
out of 10-somethings.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Great first look.
1m.
Great first look.
Speaker 3 (51:31):
Yeah, I'm a cruiser and a centre parker now.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
He's changed You're a change man Change man.
So what's this announcementyou've got then?
Speaker 3 (51:43):
The announcement is I'm going to go into a little
career change.
I'm going to go into stand-upcomedy.
Oh, so I told my family that Iwas going to go into stand-up
comedy and all they did waslaugh Sorry, that was a dad joke
(52:05):
.
Sorry, that was a dad joke,bloody hell, walliams.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
I was genuinely like I'm going to change my career.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
I thought it was a genuine announcement.
You pillock.
No, it was a dad joke.
Speaker 2 (52:14):
I thought there was something serious going on.
I thought, okay, he's finallydecided he doesn't want to do
his job anymore.
He's going to change his career, he's going to go into audio
production, he's going toactually set up his own
production company and dopodcasts.
Speaker 3 (52:28):
Are you getting ready to have a?
Speaker 2 (52:29):
quite where do we go, I was thinking we need to have
a chat about this.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
I don't think you should go into standard comedy.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
I'm being serious there well, when he said
standard comedy, I thought,maybe, maybe it's it's an it's.
Standard comedy is whereintellectuals go and you know
the thinking men and women gointo stand-up comedy.
I thought, oh, I could seeWalliams doing stand-up comedy.
You are funny.
But, yeah, it was a bloody joke, Walliams.
Speaker 3 (52:57):
So there's no serious announcement.
No, no, there's just no.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
It was just a joke all along, no it was just see
you all, in two weeks, I guess.
Well, see you all in two weeksI guess.
Well, see you all in two weeks,I guess, if you're here still,
if you're not on some bloodyfancy holiday or doing stand up
somewhere well, yeah, what an exyou could be.
Speaker 3 (53:13):
Maybe you're doing stand up for Disney on a.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
Disney cruise.
Speaker 3 (53:17):
I could be.
I could be here yeah everynight we have Dan.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
Walliams every night.
Speaker 3 (53:22):
Every night the same jokes.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
I'd pay to see you, wiles.
Anyway, that was a lovelypodcast, lovely.
Speaker 3 (53:34):
See you next week.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
Two weeks everybody.
Speaker 3 (53:36):
Two weeks, two weeks, two weeks.
Next episode Two weeks.
Bye everyone.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
Bye everyone, bye everyone.
Ah, I live at the spinningglobe.
I'll show him and his crappyglobe that doesn't spin.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
If you enjoyed the show, please follow, rate and
review us on your favouritepodcast app.
It really helps more peoplefind us Got a first look.
You want us to try Emailfirstlooknomes at outlookcom, or
send it our way on Instagram atfirstlooknomes, or drop us a
voice note.
We'd love to hear from you.
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