November 5, 2025 • 28 mins
Cosplay, comics, and… cuddly donkeys?
In this episode of First Look Gnomes, we dive into two worlds that couldn’t be more different — the vibrant energy of Comic Con Belfast 2025, and the peaceful charm of the Sidmouth Donkey Sanctuary in Devon.
At Comic Con Belfast, we take a first look at the best costumes, panels, and pop culture moments lighting up Northern Ireland’s biggest fan event.
Then, we switch gears for a heartwarming visit to Sidmouth Donkey Sanctuary — discovering how this iconic UK rescue centre cares for hundreds of donkeys and offers a family-friendly day out like no other.
Expect laughs, surprises, and a dash of 90s nostalgia as the gnomes explore both sides of this unique UK adventure.
🎧 Listen now for your first look at Comic Con Belfast 2025 and the Sidmouth Donkey Sanctuary — two very different journeys, one unforgettable episode!
💬 Follow us on Instagram @FirstLookGnomes for clips, photos, and more.
We chase two “first looks”: a hype-filled Comic Con that tests our patience and wallets, and a donkey sanctuary hedge maze that tests our nerves and sense of humour. Between celebrity queues and toddler sprints, we find what makes memories stick.
• Hitting a surprising rank for “tropical fruits” and welcoming new listeners
• A postcard update from the Know-It-All Gnome and a hint of romance
• Comic Con expectations versus reality, from cosplay craft to queue fatigue
• The economics of paid photos and autographs and why it felt off
• Parenting beats: enjoying fandom without buying access
• Donkey sanctuary maze with a toddler and staying calm when lost
• Small systems for safety, regrouping, and turning panic into play
• Bad jokes, good laughs, and the value of shared stories
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to FirstLook Gnomes.
Your go-to podcast for dadsdoing silly things.
Share tips for dads.
And of course, the dad jokes andthe bad jokes.
SPEAKER_01 (00:12):
But most importantly, we're here to share
our first looks.
SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
Don't forget to sending a feedback to our fish
bond of feedback.
SPEAKER_01 (00:19):
And share your thoughts, questions, and own
first looks with us atfirstluckgnomes at outlook.com.
SPEAKER_00 (00:26):
Drive my truck midway to the motorway station.
Fairlane cruiser coming up theleft hand side.
Headlight shining, driving rainon the window frame.
Little young lady, stardusthitching a ride.
And it's FBSode.
Ain't never too eight.
Me and my pod buddy putdingthrough the night.
(00:49):
Series 4, F Soda.
Ain't never too late.
SPEAKER_01 (00:56):
Very good.
No, I mean there's gonna be alot of people who have no idea
what that song is.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03):
I mean that it's by the uh Tom Robson band.
That's a proper old one, thatis.
Everyone knows that song, is it?
SPEAKER_01 (01:10):
Oh Motorway, it's that's like a 1980s, yeah.
That'll be a lot.
Classic.
Oh classic?
I don't know about that, butit's classic now.
It's a classic now.
SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
You've um episode eight.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Episode eight, and it's never too late.
Yeah, I like it, Williams.
I like it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:28):
Good, good.
How have you been since episodeseven?
SPEAKER_01 (01:32):
Um it's parenting troubles, Wallyams.
We were just talking before thispodcast about some of the the
challenges of being a parentwhen your child has the attitude
of.
SPEAKER_00 (01:46):
Any bonus tips for dads?
We also had the tips for dads inthe last episode.
Condoms.
SPEAKER_01 (02:02):
Straight to the point.
SPEAKER_00 (02:04):
Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
The uh well, grab grab your rod.
Okay, I will.
There it is, grabbed it.
SPEAKER_00 (02:10):
Stick something on it, and uh let's go down to the
fish ponder feedback.
SPEAKER_01 (02:13):
Fishponder feedback.
SPEAKER_00 (02:15):
No feedback.
Uh you might remember fromprevious episodes.
SPEAKER_01 (02:22):
Probably not.
SPEAKER_00 (02:22):
But no, probably not.
What why yeah, why would I saythat?
Rankings.
Apple Apple Podcasts.
We've actually hit number onefor a two-word.
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Oh my goodness.
Is this the same term that we'reon before?
SPEAKER_00 (02:42):
Number one.
So in in September, if you typedin those two words, you would be
number one.
Tropical fruits ranked highlyfor it.
Tropical fruits?
Tropical fruits, yes.
If you typed in tropical fruits,we were number one in the
ranking.
Unbelievable.
That is unbelievable.
I mean, it's my fault, I think,of the tropical fruits beard.
(03:03):
Probably.
SPEAKER_01 (03:04):
But who's searching for Tropical Fruits?
SPEAKER_00 (03:06):
Not quite the audience that we want.
Not many people, I don't know.
I can't imagine that.
But the people that did, we werenumber one.
Very good.
SPEAKER_01 (03:17):
And I don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (03:18):
Even if it was a short period.
SPEAKER_01 (03:20):
You know what?
We had our moment in listen,Williams.
We had our moment in listen on.
SPEAKER_00 (03:23):
We did.
And we've had some new listenersas well.
SPEAKER_01 (03:28):
Oh nice.
SPEAKER_00 (03:29):
Some new listeners from Dane Hill in East Sussex.
A new listener from Taipei.
A new listener in Dallas, Texas.
SPEAKER_01 (03:41):
Oh, welcome, Dallas.
SPEAKER_00 (03:43):
A new listener from Elkhorn in Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_01 (03:49):
And Springfield.
Alabama.
Wisconsin isn't Canada.
What did you say, sorry?
Oh no, sorry, I beg your pardon.
SPEAKER_00 (04:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Springfield.
SPEAKER_01 (04:02):
What was I thinking of?
SPEAKER_00 (04:03):
Massachusetts.
Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_01 (04:06):
You might have been thinking about Winnipeg.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll take that.
It was Winnipeg.
I was thinking about W.
SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
Begins at W.
SPEAKER_01 (04:12):
Wisconsin, Winnipeg.
Yeah, very similar.
SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
Communication has been been quiet though, so
please write into fuss at gnomesat outlook.com.
It's been not uh not a pin drop.
But we've had a postcard, Ibelieve.
Oh, very good.
SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
Oh, yes, sorry.
This is goodness.
You know what?
This is my brain being all overthe show because of the uh said
said child problems beforehand.
So we have, yes, we have had apostcard.
We've had a postcard from the NoIt All Nome.
SPEAKER_00 (04:53):
So I don't know, where is he?
SPEAKER_01 (04:55):
So at the minute he's in New Zealand now.
So he was in Australia and hesent me a postcard from New
Zealand.
SPEAKER_00 (05:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:00):
Which is good because and last you know, this
is a much more positive onebecause last time it didn't
sound like it was going verywell for him, but it sounds like
he's doing alright here.
So he says, Ke Ora from NewZealand, which I'm assuming is a
Kiora.
SPEAKER_00 (05:13):
That's a drink, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01 (05:14):
Well that's yeah, I thought so.
So I don't I don't really knowwhy he said that.
Maybe it's a it's a well-come.
SPEAKER_00 (05:18):
It's a tropical fruit drink.
SPEAKER_01 (05:22):
He says, You'll never add that to the
transcription.
He says, You'll never believewhat's happened.
I said off to visit the Lord ofthe Rings movie set, thinking
I'd just pop by for a fewphotos, maybe pinch a little
prop for the garden pond backhome, when it all went horribly
wrong.
Typical this is typical narrownoises.
SPEAKER_00 (05:40):
Typical no one.
SPEAKER_01 (05:41):
He was on the tour and the tour guide said he took
one look at me and said, Oh lookeverybody, it's a real hobbit.
A real hobbit.
I was mortified.
I mean, honestly, I might beshort, but I never once craved
hairy feet or a ring obsession.
I tried to explain that I was infact a gnome of considerable
distinction, but then peopletake it selfies, and one child
(06:02):
even asked if I knew Frodopersonally.
Just when I was about to dig ahole and live under the up to
the name, along came Felicity, acharming Kiwi gnome with a
twinkle in her eye, a sun hatthat was far too big for a head,
and the kind of smile that canmake even an orc forget his
troubles.
She comforted me with a flatwhite and said, Don't worry,
love, Hobbits might have had themovies, but gnomes have the
(06:24):
magic.
And that was that.
Since then we've been travellingtogether, hiking through misty
fjords, visiting glow glowwormcaves, and even posing for
photos at a place called theShire's Rest, which I'm guessing
must be a Lord of the Rings.
She laughs every every timesomeone says we make a cute
couple, and I pretend not toblush.
(06:45):
Last night we watched the sunsetover Lake Taco.
Takapo?
Am I pronouncing that right?
Lake Tacapo.
And she said the stars of fairylights strung up for us.
I told her she must be part elfwith that kind of talk, and she
said I must be part of Hobbitwith all the snacks I packed.
Two share, I said.
So yes, it seems adventurereally does await those who
wonder.
I came looking for middle earthand might have just stumbled
(07:06):
into something even rarer.
A bit of genuine companionshipand romance.
Sending love to the bottom ofthe garden from the bottom of
the world, yours adventurously,the know it or no.
And in brackets he saysFelicity, who says hi and
insists she's taller than me,even though she's not.
So I was I was like, that'squite annoying.
Lovely.
I was gonna.
(07:31):
He was being referred to as ahobbit, and somebody came over
and made a joke about it, and itsounds like since then.
SPEAKER_00 (07:37):
But in terms of the relationship with Steak.
SPEAKER_01 (07:40):
It sounds like it's good.
SPEAKER_00 (07:41):
It sounds promising.
SPEAKER_01 (07:42):
So yeah, I was really nice when I got that.
I was really quite happy.
I was like, ah, I'm I'm gladhe's having a good time because
it always seems to be goingwrong for him.
He's out there, he's trying toexperience new things.
So it sounds like he's having acharming time.
SPEAKER_00 (07:55):
Oh, well, watch his space.
We might hear some more abouthis uh his events.
With felicity, uh the kiwi.
Yeah, we're having a good timenow, or no?
First looks, Mishoshkis.
SPEAKER_01 (08:10):
On the first looks, yeah, why not?
SPEAKER_00 (08:12):
Okay, why not?
I'm just gonna blow my nose.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Well, recently, recently, Williams, we had so uh
to give some context.
SPEAKER_00 (08:22):
I get a tissue.
SPEAKER_01 (08:23):
Um again, this may shock you.
This may absolutely shock you,but I'm a bit of a nerd.
Um, I spend most of my free timeplaying Mario Kart.
Uh, I'm currently smashing umthe knockout tours on Mario Kart
World.
Um, I think I may be the bestMario Kart player in the world.
Um, so yes.
(08:48):
That's like one of those kind ofold old Chinese, like uh a
butterfly in the forest flappingits wing causes a hurricane 15
years later.
In our case, William sneezes atthe bottom of the garden 15
later.
There's a tsunami.
My goodness, man.
Storm in Badfacks.
Um, so yes, sorry, as I wassaying, as I was saying, uh
(09:11):
shocking to know I am a bit of anerd.
Um shocking to know that a nerdhas a child who is also a bit of
a nerd.
Um, and recently Comic Con cameto town in Northern Ireland.
So we went to Comic Con for thefirst ever time as a couple of
nerds, and I I bought tickets asa surprise for Brain.
(09:33):
So I got him tickets and I gothim a costume.
No, not really.
No.
Uh the whole thing is anabsolute massive rip-off.
And we'll we'll talk, we'll talkabout it.
I'm not that massivelyimpressed.
But uh so yeah, I brought I Igot Brain a Venom, he likes
Venom from the Spider-Manthings.
He likes Venom, the bad guy.
So I got him a Venom costume,and I was like, son, got your
(09:56):
got your costume.
What's this for?
I said, because we're gonna goComic Com, thinking that could
be all excited and stuff, whichwas cool.
So what are you gonna do?
And I said, I'm gonna go Stevefrom Minecraft because I am
shaped like Jack Black in reallife.
I had I shaved the beard, but Idid have a beard, and plus brain
has like Minecraft toys.
So I was like, there we go, easyjumper, jeans, carrier sword,
(10:17):
and Jack, I'm Jack Black fromMinecraft.
Yeah, so we went to Minecraft.
I was all excited, I was reallylooking forward to spending the
day with him, like, cool, thisis gonna be great.
And they got some like that'ssome big names there.
So again, I was like, okay, soComic Con, there's lots of
famous people there, and they dotalks and all this kind of
stuff, and you can get stuffsigned.
So they had like ChristopherLloyd, they had Deloreans and
(10:38):
Christopher Lloyd from Backs ofthe Future.
Nice.
They had like loads of DoctorWho people there, they had like
um Tony Robinson, uh RalphLittle, and the guy from oh,
what's the guy's name from theRoyal Family who plays Jim
Royal?
Um Ricky Tomlinson and RalphLittle, yeah, and then like
wrestlers had like Kurt Angleand Kevin Nash and Jake the
(11:00):
Snake Roberts, and then do youremember the Doctor Who was like
Britain Britain Britain?
They had them that the loads ofgames, loads of characters from
video games.
So there's loads of like fairlyquite famous people, yeah.
But if you want to like get yourphotograph taken, it's like 50
quid per person.
Yeah, and like the queues aremassive.
I was like, this is ridiculous.
(11:22):
So anyway, I'm getting ahead ofmyself.
We drive up, it's this massivekind of exhibition center.
So you get into it, and then youhave to drive 26 miles to find a
car parking space, and you getthere, and you can see there are
people who were like reallytaking this seriously, take
their cosplay stuff seriously.
So we got out of the car brainsin this kind of shop bought.
SPEAKER_00 (11:43):
Well, that's nice because you get to see their
costumes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:46):
Some of the costumes are incredible.
Some of some of them were quitelike a lot of the blokes were
like the same kind of size asme, wearing homemade costumes
that probably they shouldn'thave been wearing, like with the
belly hanging over the top andall this kind of stuff.
And then on the other side, youhad a load of slussy-looking
girls, like there were loads ofgirls who dressed as kind of
(12:06):
like you know, oh, I'm sexy elf32, and I'm wearing basically
nothing, just enough to coverthe bits that shouldn't be seen.
And I was like, This is sostrange.
Then there were some people,there was this one guy there,
big fat guy, right?
Like big bigger than I am, andhe'd he had obviously made this
homemade like it was Iron Man's,one of the Iron Man characters,
(12:31):
not Iron Man, one of the oneswith like a machine gun on his
shoulder and everything.
And it was incredible.
You thought, wow, that is onehell of a costume to make, but
it didn't look comfortable.
SPEAKER_00 (12:40):
I was just cost of money as well.
SPEAKER_01 (12:42):
Yeah, I would say cost you money and time and
stuff to make.
And you're like, it looked likesomething out of a movie.
I was like, that's incredible.
But just I just thought thatcan't be comfortable to wear.
Like, I I as a big guy, I liketo wear shorts even when it's
cold, like and like a f afull-on movie costume walking
around all day, and obviouslybecause it was such a cool
costume, everyone was stopping.
(13:02):
Like, everybody there was inincredible costumes, taking
pictures.
We were kind of underdressed,but like I don't know, it was it
was definitely a sight tobehold.
There were some really coolcostumes.
There was a couple of people whojust didn't look very happy.
There was this one guy we werewalking trying to find the
entrance, and there was a guy ina full-on Superman costume, and
he did he just didn't look veryhappy, he just wasn't happy with
(13:25):
life, and I wasn't quite surewhy.
And then I thought, look howtight his pants are.
No wonder he's not happy.
And you just you're walkingaround, and yeah, when you get
in there, then so you okay.
The costumes and stuff arepretty cool.
Not gonna lie, the costumes likesome of this some of these are
pretty cool.
Wouldn't be my cup of tea.
It's like it's a bit too far togo to all that trouble to make a
(13:45):
costume.
Or they're saying that we didused to in the past.
SPEAKER_00 (13:48):
We made some but that's the people attending,
that's not the exhibitionpeople, is it?
SPEAKER_01 (13:52):
No, the the exhibition people then, so you
get in, and they've got somelike they've got old movie props
and stuff, like they had some ofthe Jurassic Park cars, and
there was a GhostbustersNorthern Ireland stand, some of
it was pretty cool.
But I was a bit like, well, whatdo we do now?
We're here.
I didn't really know what wewere meant to do, because
there's some stalls and there'sloads of stuff for sale, so you
(14:14):
can spend a fortune if youwanted.
Yeah, but some of the stuff thatwas for sale was real like deep
geek culture and geek lore.
I was like, okay, where's thelike retro video game standing?
No, no, no.
It's fine if you're into intolike a weird Japanese cartoon
with different types of swords,and like, oh, that's a sword
from episode 3D when such andsuch fought such and such, and
(14:39):
oh, it's got the blood of thedragon on it, and like oh okay,
like uh it was too much for me.
There was it was too deep.
I was like, I'm looking for kindof too deep.
SPEAKER_00 (14:48):
This is too geeky.
SPEAKER_01 (14:49):
This is too geeky for me.
I was like, Ghostbusters, yes,like Ghostbusters, but at the
same time, I'm like, I likeGhostbusters, they're a good
couple of movies, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:57):
But I don't I don't want to know about the physics
Ghostbusters comic book series,two episodes.
SPEAKER_01 (15:04):
Yeah, it was a bit, it was a bit much, it was a bit
much, and the Ghostbusters waskind of the the light level of
it, like Ghostbusters was likeit was all the really deep like
wow, who are these charactersand how do you know them?
And and then what you meant todo, like it there was people
walking around like with swordsthey bought, other stuff they're
(15:24):
bought, and I was like, What iswhat is all this?
SPEAKER_00 (15:26):
And I suppose so did you actually see any of the
famous people, or do you onlysee them if you pay the no you
can go and watch you could goand watch some signings?
SPEAKER_01 (15:34):
So we went and had a bit of a look, and we're like,
Oh, there's Kyle Angle, and ohyeah, there's Christopher Lloyd
and stuff, but the cues to toget anywhere near were massive,
and then like if you want aphoto taken, it's like 200 quid.
So like there was there's likephoto of both sections, and I
just thought the cues toactually yeah, meet these people
were just so big.
SPEAKER_00 (15:53):
I thought that must have been making the ticket,
then you gotta pay more.
SPEAKER_01 (16:00):
So we didn't.
I was like, there was no onebrain's too young, like brain's
not interested in celebritiesyet, so we didn't bother with
any of that.
But it's just it it felt I don'tknow, it felt weird.
It just felt weird queuing topay somebody to have their
signature.
I was like, I don't know.
(16:21):
Like I understand getting asignature, like say you go to a
football match and you'reoutside the stadium as the
players arrive and you hand likeoh can you can you can you sign
this?
It's quite fun.
But this whole idea of payingfor it, I'm like, I don't know,
is would you pay 50 quid to havesomebody sign something?
Like Christopher Lloyd'ssignature was 200.
Like 200 pounds.
(16:42):
There was there was there was aguy there, he took five items,
and it's 200 pounds.
SPEAKER_00 (16:45):
But that's because there's been a massive industry
because so many people now sortof sticking stuff in eBay and
selling it and making anindustry of selling stuff.
So all the deputies now knowpeople selling stuff, so they
won't sign stuff without gettingpaid for it.
Yeah, true.
Because they know someone'sgonna sell it for that 500 quid
(17:06):
on eBay.
So it's yeah, so that's theunfortunate world we're in now.
But I've got Sir Bobby Robson'sautograph on the book, his
autobiography in Nottingham allthose years ago.
But uh I don't yeah, I didn'tpay for it, I just queued up at
Waterstones when he was sellinghis book, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
I wasn't a massive fan of it, to be honest.
Fair play to all the cost thepeople who've done the costumes
is clearly cool.
Fair play, I think, to the thegroups who were there and
clearly having the time of theirlives, but I just it wasn't for
me.
Comic Con wasn't for me.
Two somethings from from uhpointless point of view,
Wallyam's two somethings.
SPEAKER_00 (17:48):
My first look.
Yes, we went on holidayrecently, and um as a first look
in terms of the destination forLogan um was the donkey
sanctuary in um Sidmouth.
Um also some first looks for meas well.
So the the they spent loads ofmoney on it, they've got a new
(18:08):
um sort of cafe, um, which sortof Georgie joked was sponsored
by me because I did ages ago,years ago, years and years ago,
I adopted a donkey for her.
Um and I never got around tocancelling the direct debit.
We stopped getting the thingsfor in the post, and I was meant
to cancel it, I never did.
(18:29):
So yeah, we joked that the cafewas sponsored by Darren
Williams.
But yeah, new cafe there, and Idid donkeys and stuff.
But yeah, went went there withwith Logan and I had my first
look at the the the maze,they've got a hedge maze.
Okay.
So we went to this hedge maze.
Logan was excited for it becausewe had a little map and sort of
oh, there's a maze at thisdonkey sanctuary in Sidmorth.
(18:52):
On the map, the maze graphic wassort of quite simple.
I could you know do it in fiveminutes.
Brilliant.
So we go in, go into this hedgemaze.
Oh, left, right, oh left, right,doubly jubly.
And then it's like oh no, we'relost, and so we're getting
(19:14):
around, just you know, I'm I'mI'm still smiling having fun,
and sort of Logan's runningaround, but then like Logan's
like running ahead and likeLogan, Logan! Oh wow, yes,
flipping heck because you knowif yeah, that's you could
obviously panic, but you don'twant to, it's like, oh no, I um
yeah, it was like a it was agood maze, it was a good maze.
(19:35):
So we're getting lost in there,and then but you know, I've
we've managed to keep him withus, and then you're kind of
like, Oh we don't know whenactually we're gonna get out
now, so you're starting to thinkthis is fun, but yeah, it's now
out of my control when we'regonna leave.
It's like all right, we'releaving now five minutes.
So Logan, you know, he trippedover, face planted, dirt, dirt
(19:58):
in the mouth and stuff.
I'm like, oh no, if this doesn'tgo back to normal quickly, we're
in a maze with a screaming,unhappy toddler.
But you know, he was a trooperand cleaned him up and he's good
to go.
And yeah, we're wandering aroundfor ages, and and then so you
(20:19):
know, left, right, oh dead end,oh, left, right, left, right,
right, right, left.
And then we turn we get to thisone dead end, right?
We turn to it, we stop, and thensort of me and the wife, we look
down, and we're like, we look ateach other, and then Logan
points to it and goes, Pooh.
(20:42):
There's a human, a human poo inthis dead end.
This dead end of this maze is abig heap of human poo.
So someone's so we're we're nowpanicking in terms of someone's
obviously been stuck in here fora long time and they've needed
to go, and they've just gone,right, I'm gonna have a dump.
(21:02):
And the most polite place to gois at a dead end.
And they've had this dump.
How'd you know it was a humanpoo?
You know you can tell.
You know the difference betweena human poo.
You sure if I if I if I put infront of you a dog, you would
know the difference, surely.
SPEAKER_01 (21:16):
You know you do.
I don't know.
I've never thought about it thatdeeply.
Depends on if it's a big dog.
SPEAKER_00 (21:22):
You've picked up enough dog poo's in your time.
You know, I know you haven'tpicked up a human poo, but so
that that poor g you've hadyou've had human poo's yourself,
so you know what the differenceis.
So not to get into details, butthey look different, don't they?
SPEAKER_01 (21:35):
Oh, poor person, whoever's done that poo, that's
that's bad, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
Sorry, sorry, co cobrance.
SPEAKER_01 (21:40):
You love co you love co-brown, don't you?
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
No, but they're just they keep coming up in our in
our lives.
But um, yeah, and then Loganfinds the player.
SPEAKER_01 (21:50):
You should literally get a t-shirt that says shit
happens.
SPEAKER_00 (21:54):
But yeah, but then we started thinking up well,
someone's obviously been herefor a longer time.
Then we start panicking up whatare we gonna do?
You know, if we're stuck herefor a while, we need to go, you
know, what do you what do youdo?
You start panicking, and theneventually we find the middle.
Wait, you found the middle, andthere's like a congratulations
sign, you found the middle.
And we sit there for a littlebreak, and Lego's like, yeah, we
(22:16):
did it.
Then I'm thinking, we still needto get out.
SPEAKER_01 (22:22):
But yeah, we uh there's usually a straight X
out, isn't there?
You don't have to go around thewhole back through.
SPEAKER_00 (22:28):
No, no, no, you still gotta yeah, you still
gotta go back through againwhere you came.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Goodness mate.
But um it didn't take us as longto get there, but um yeah, kind
of avoided the dead end of thethe poo.
But yeah, I mean the last timewe did a hedge maze, it was like
you could step over the hedge.
So I went, I think I was inWoburn Abbey years ago, and it's
(22:50):
like oh we're stuck, and we justwent, just step over it, just
cheat and go over the top.
But this one, this one was yeah,this one was it was pretty good,
yeah.
So I recommend it.
Donkey Sentry, go in the maze,but just prepare, it's not as
easy as you first think with atwo-year-old to do prepare that
you might be in there longerthan you uh want to.
(23:11):
And use the toilet.
We actually got this.
We went to the new went to thenew cafe and spent ages in the
new cafe and then in the maze,and then Logan loved the
playground, so we didn'tactually see that many donkeys
really, but but yeah, that wasthe first look into the donkey
maze in the donkey sanctuary inSydney.
SPEAKER_01 (23:29):
Did you feel at any point claustrophobic?
Like a bit like, oh, I don'tlike this.
SPEAKER_00 (23:33):
A little bit.
It was more the it was moreLogan running away and getting
lost.
Ah, that would shit me up.
But being in because it's one ofthose weird things because they
wouldn't be that far away.
You could always hear them, butyou couldn't quite work out how
to get them.
Yeah.
So it's a case of well, they'reliterally there, but I can't go
through the hedge.
But and then being atwo-year-old, he's gonna just
(23:55):
keep running around and not.
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Oh, you may never find him ever again.
SPEAKER_00 (23:59):
Yeah.
And then yeah, the the the addedhuman poo in the dead end, that
kind of like, oh did you did youat any point kind of get your
phone out and GPS where youwere?
SPEAKER_01 (24:10):
Because obviously, like on Google Maps, you can
kind of see dark you can zoom inand be like, oh right.
SPEAKER_00 (24:15):
Yeah, but it's not really it's a big maze, but not
big enough for you to go, right,Google Maps.
Okay.
So it wouldn't it wouldn'treally work.
And then we sort of likeworried, well, hang on, because
next to the uh I mean initiallywe never actually checked, but
we presumed the so beside themaze was the memorial wall, and
we thought the memorial wall wasfor the donkeys, but then we
(24:37):
started thinking, oh hang on,this might be the memorial wall
for the people that didn'tsurvive the maze.
SPEAKER_01 (24:44):
It sounds awesome.
There's not that many mazesaround these days, is there?
SPEAKER_00 (24:48):
There isn't.
No, it could always be it couldalways sorry.
Yeah, in the old days.
In the old days there was alwaysa hedge.
Just you know.
SPEAKER_01 (24:57):
I don't know if there was yeah, human feces in
them, which is a yeah,definitely a bit concerning.
SPEAKER_00 (25:02):
No.
It reminds me of the uh theHarry Potter one with the the
maze, the hedge maze.
SPEAKER_01 (25:08):
Oh yes, goblet of fire.
SPEAKER_00 (25:10):
Yes, yes, yes, it reminded me of that.
SPEAKER_01 (25:12):
Yeah, the extended version where Harry gets caught
short and has to take a shit.
Yeah, a different a differentkind of expellia.
Yes, yes.
Have you ever been caught shortwhile himself needed to poo
outside?
SPEAKER_00 (25:28):
I have not.
SPEAKER_01 (25:29):
Have you said not, no, but like I remember Braden
was out.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm I'm sure.
Um I'll tell you about this offair.
That the uh the uh he's donebefore that's what I said.
Okay.
I haven't I haven't told youthat story, have I?
Yeah, I've oh my goodness.
Something about a fox, wasn'tit?
SPEAKER_00 (25:50):
There's one in a pretty previous episode, but we
didn't broadcast.
SPEAKER_01 (25:52):
Thank goodness, thank goodness for that.
No, the jokes aside, the Brainwent out with his friend and his
friend's dad, and his friend gotcaught short, and they're like,
cool, okay, so what do you haveto do?
So they brain's always like, Oh,don't worry, if you ever
actually need to, you can justdo a nature poo.
Just nature, a nature poo.
I was like, that's a nice way toput it.
Do you reckon whoever's walkingaround your maze just thought,
(26:13):
uh, this is lovely.
I'll just do a nature poo.
Just do a nature poo.
SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
I'm in nature.
I mean it's a yeah, it's agravel path, but yeah, with
hedges around me.
SPEAKER_01 (26:22):
And was it fresh?
SPEAKER_00 (26:24):
Uh well I don't know.
I didn't poke us if it was warm.
SPEAKER_01 (26:31):
Was the steam emerging from this?
Uh there was there was there'sno steam.
SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
So yeah, I think uh Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:40):
The things you see, Walem's are things you see.
SPEAKER_00 (26:41):
It might still be wandering the maze now, who
knows?
Who knows?
Might not across who knows.
Who knows?
Yeah.
Uh but uh anyways, um yeah, toend on uh in a bit of a note.
Um I once directed a theatricalperformance about puns.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it was uh it was a play onwords.
SPEAKER_01 (27:04):
Uh very good.
SPEAKER_00 (27:08):
Alright, alright, alright.
SPEAKER_01 (27:10):
So what happened to the bad jokes?
Or the bad jokes now, this aredad jokes.
SPEAKER_00 (27:15):
That was a bad joke.
SPEAKER_01 (27:16):
That was the bad joke.
I enjoyed it.
It's very much a dad joke, isn'tit?
It's a bad dad joke.
SPEAKER_00 (27:23):
Uh yeah, they they blur into one sometimes.
That's it.
That's it.
Alright, everybody, until nexttime.
Email us first at namesouthern.com.
SPEAKER_01 (27:33):
Well see if Dave Benton Phillips can uh do you
reckon he's listened to anyepisodes yet?
Tropical fruits.
Tropical fruits.
SPEAKER_00 (27:42):
Tropical fruits.
SPEAKER_01 (27:43):
Bye everybody.
SPEAKER_00 (27:44):
Bye everyone.
SPEAKER_01 (27:47):
Boom chum boom boom chum boom chum boom boom boom
boom boom.
SPEAKER_00 (27:56):
Email first look no.
Don't forget to subscribe,follow, and review to help you.
Welcome to FirstLook Gnomes.
Your go-to podcast for dadsdoing silly things.
Share tips for dads.
And of course, the dad jokes andthe bad jokes.
SPEAKER_01 (00:12):
But most importantly, we're here to share
our first looks.
SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
Don't forget to sending a feedback to our fish
bond of feedback.
SPEAKER_01 (00:19):
And share your thoughts, questions, and own
first looks with us atfirstluckgnomes at outlook.com.
SPEAKER_00 (00:26):
Drive my truck midway to the motorway station.
Fairlane cruiser coming up theleft hand side.
Headlight shining, driving rainon the window frame.
Little young lady, stardusthitching a ride.
And it's FBSode.
Ain't never too eight.
Me and my pod buddy putdingthrough the night.
(00:49):
Series 4, F Soda.
Ain't never too late.
SPEAKER_01 (00:56):
Very good.
No, I mean there's gonna be alot of people who have no idea
what that song is.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03):
I mean that it's by the uh Tom Robson band.
That's a proper old one, thatis.
Everyone knows that song, is it?
SPEAKER_01 (01:10):
Oh Motorway, it's that's like a 1980s, yeah.
That'll be a lot.
Classic.
Oh classic?
I don't know about that, butit's classic now.
It's a classic now.
SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
You've um episode eight.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Episode eight, and it's never too late.
Yeah, I like it, Williams.
I like it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:28):
Good, good.
How have you been since episodeseven?
SPEAKER_01 (01:32):
Um it's parenting troubles, Wallyams.
We were just talking before thispodcast about some of the the
challenges of being a parentwhen your child has the attitude
of.
SPEAKER_00 (01:46):
Any bonus tips for dads?
We also had the tips for dads inthe last episode.
Condoms.
SPEAKER_01 (02:02):
Straight to the point.
SPEAKER_00 (02:04):
Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
The uh well, grab grab your rod.
Okay, I will.
There it is, grabbed it.
SPEAKER_00 (02:10):
Stick something on it, and uh let's go down to the
fish ponder feedback.
SPEAKER_01 (02:13):
Fishponder feedback.
SPEAKER_00 (02:15):
No feedback.
Uh you might remember fromprevious episodes.
SPEAKER_01 (02:22):
Probably not.
SPEAKER_00 (02:22):
But no, probably not.
What why yeah, why would I saythat?
Rankings.
Apple Apple Podcasts.
We've actually hit number onefor a two-word.
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Oh my goodness.
Is this the same term that we'reon before?
SPEAKER_00 (02:42):
Number one.
So in in September, if you typedin those two words, you would be
number one.
Tropical fruits ranked highlyfor it.
Tropical fruits?
Tropical fruits, yes.
If you typed in tropical fruits,we were number one in the
ranking.
Unbelievable.
That is unbelievable.
I mean, it's my fault, I think,of the tropical fruits beard.
(03:03):
Probably.
SPEAKER_01 (03:04):
But who's searching for Tropical Fruits?
SPEAKER_00 (03:06):
Not quite the audience that we want.
Not many people, I don't know.
I can't imagine that.
But the people that did, we werenumber one.
Very good.
SPEAKER_01 (03:17):
And I don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (03:18):
Even if it was a short period.
SPEAKER_01 (03:20):
You know what?
We had our moment in listen,Williams.
We had our moment in listen on.
SPEAKER_00 (03:23):
We did.
And we've had some new listenersas well.
SPEAKER_01 (03:28):
Oh nice.
SPEAKER_00 (03:29):
Some new listeners from Dane Hill in East Sussex.
A new listener from Taipei.
A new listener in Dallas, Texas.
SPEAKER_01 (03:41):
Oh, welcome, Dallas.
SPEAKER_00 (03:43):
A new listener from Elkhorn in Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_01 (03:49):
And Springfield.
Alabama.
Wisconsin isn't Canada.
What did you say, sorry?
Oh no, sorry, I beg your pardon.
SPEAKER_00 (04:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Springfield.
SPEAKER_01 (04:02):
What was I thinking of?
SPEAKER_00 (04:03):
Massachusetts.
Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_01 (04:06):
You might have been thinking about Winnipeg.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll take that.
It was Winnipeg.
I was thinking about W.
SPEAKER_00 (04:10):
Begins at W.
SPEAKER_01 (04:12):
Wisconsin, Winnipeg.
Yeah, very similar.
SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
Communication has been been quiet though, so
please write into fuss at gnomesat outlook.com.
It's been not uh not a pin drop.
But we've had a postcard, Ibelieve.
Oh, very good.
SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
Oh, yes, sorry.
This is goodness.
You know what?
This is my brain being all overthe show because of the uh said
said child problems beforehand.
So we have, yes, we have had apostcard.
We've had a postcard from the NoIt All Nome.
SPEAKER_00 (04:53):
So I don't know, where is he?
SPEAKER_01 (04:55):
So at the minute he's in New Zealand now.
So he was in Australia and hesent me a postcard from New
Zealand.
SPEAKER_00 (05:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:00):
Which is good because and last you know, this
is a much more positive onebecause last time it didn't
sound like it was going verywell for him, but it sounds like
he's doing alright here.
So he says, Ke Ora from NewZealand, which I'm assuming is a
Kiora.
SPEAKER_00 (05:13):
That's a drink, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01 (05:14):
Well that's yeah, I thought so.
So I don't I don't really knowwhy he said that.
Maybe it's a it's a well-come.
SPEAKER_00 (05:18):
It's a tropical fruit drink.
SPEAKER_01 (05:22):
He says, You'll never add that to the
transcription.
He says, You'll never believewhat's happened.
I said off to visit the Lord ofthe Rings movie set, thinking
I'd just pop by for a fewphotos, maybe pinch a little
prop for the garden pond backhome, when it all went horribly
wrong.
Typical this is typical narrownoises.
SPEAKER_00 (05:40):
Typical no one.
SPEAKER_01 (05:41):
He was on the tour and the tour guide said he took
one look at me and said, Oh lookeverybody, it's a real hobbit.
A real hobbit.
I was mortified.
I mean, honestly, I might beshort, but I never once craved
hairy feet or a ring obsession.
I tried to explain that I was infact a gnome of considerable
distinction, but then peopletake it selfies, and one child
(06:02):
even asked if I knew Frodopersonally.
Just when I was about to dig ahole and live under the up to
the name, along came Felicity, acharming Kiwi gnome with a
twinkle in her eye, a sun hatthat was far too big for a head,
and the kind of smile that canmake even an orc forget his
troubles.
She comforted me with a flatwhite and said, Don't worry,
love, Hobbits might have had themovies, but gnomes have the
(06:24):
magic.
And that was that.
Since then we've been travellingtogether, hiking through misty
fjords, visiting glow glowwormcaves, and even posing for
photos at a place called theShire's Rest, which I'm guessing
must be a Lord of the Rings.
She laughs every every timesomeone says we make a cute
couple, and I pretend not toblush.
(06:45):
Last night we watched the sunsetover Lake Taco.
Takapo?
Am I pronouncing that right?
Lake Tacapo.
And she said the stars of fairylights strung up for us.
I told her she must be part elfwith that kind of talk, and she
said I must be part of Hobbitwith all the snacks I packed.
Two share, I said.
So yes, it seems adventurereally does await those who
wonder.
I came looking for middle earthand might have just stumbled
(07:06):
into something even rarer.
A bit of genuine companionshipand romance.
Sending love to the bottom ofthe garden from the bottom of
the world, yours adventurously,the know it or no.
And in brackets he saysFelicity, who says hi and
insists she's taller than me,even though she's not.
So I was I was like, that'squite annoying.
Lovely.
I was gonna.
(07:31):
He was being referred to as ahobbit, and somebody came over
and made a joke about it, and itsounds like since then.
SPEAKER_00 (07:37):
But in terms of the relationship with Steak.
SPEAKER_01 (07:40):
It sounds like it's good.
SPEAKER_00 (07:41):
It sounds promising.
SPEAKER_01 (07:42):
So yeah, I was really nice when I got that.
I was really quite happy.
I was like, ah, I'm I'm gladhe's having a good time because
it always seems to be goingwrong for him.
He's out there, he's trying toexperience new things.
So it sounds like he's having acharming time.
SPEAKER_00 (07:55):
Oh, well, watch his space.
We might hear some more abouthis uh his events.
With felicity, uh the kiwi.
Yeah, we're having a good timenow, or no?
First looks, Mishoshkis.
SPEAKER_01 (08:10):
On the first looks, yeah, why not?
SPEAKER_00 (08:12):
Okay, why not?
I'm just gonna blow my nose.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Well, recently, recently, Williams, we had so uh
to give some context.
SPEAKER_00 (08:22):
I get a tissue.
SPEAKER_01 (08:23):
Um again, this may shock you.
This may absolutely shock you,but I'm a bit of a nerd.
Um, I spend most of my free timeplaying Mario Kart.
Uh, I'm currently smashing umthe knockout tours on Mario Kart
World.
Um, I think I may be the bestMario Kart player in the world.
Um, so yes.
(08:48):
That's like one of those kind ofold old Chinese, like uh a
butterfly in the forest flappingits wing causes a hurricane 15
years later.
In our case, William sneezes atthe bottom of the garden 15
later.
There's a tsunami.
My goodness, man.
Storm in Badfacks.
Um, so yes, sorry, as I wassaying, as I was saying, uh
(09:11):
shocking to know I am a bit of anerd.
Um shocking to know that a nerdhas a child who is also a bit of
a nerd.
Um, and recently Comic Con cameto town in Northern Ireland.
So we went to Comic Con for thefirst ever time as a couple of
nerds, and I I bought tickets asa surprise for Brain.
(09:33):
So I got him tickets and I gothim a costume.
No, not really.
No.
Uh the whole thing is anabsolute massive rip-off.
And we'll we'll talk, we'll talkabout it.
I'm not that massivelyimpressed.
But uh so yeah, I brought I Igot Brain a Venom, he likes
Venom from the Spider-Manthings.
He likes Venom, the bad guy.
So I got him a Venom costume,and I was like, son, got your
(09:56):
got your costume.
What's this for?
I said, because we're gonna goComic Com, thinking that could
be all excited and stuff, whichwas cool.
So what are you gonna do?
And I said, I'm gonna go Stevefrom Minecraft because I am
shaped like Jack Black in reallife.
I had I shaved the beard, but Idid have a beard, and plus brain
has like Minecraft toys.
So I was like, there we go, easyjumper, jeans, carrier sword,
(10:17):
and Jack, I'm Jack Black fromMinecraft.
Yeah, so we went to Minecraft.
I was all excited, I was reallylooking forward to spending the
day with him, like, cool, thisis gonna be great.
And they got some like that'ssome big names there.
So again, I was like, okay, soComic Con, there's lots of
famous people there, and they dotalks and all this kind of
stuff, and you can get stuffsigned.
So they had like ChristopherLloyd, they had Deloreans and
(10:38):
Christopher Lloyd from Backs ofthe Future.
Nice.
They had like loads of DoctorWho people there, they had like
um Tony Robinson, uh RalphLittle, and the guy from oh,
what's the guy's name from theRoyal Family who plays Jim
Royal?
Um Ricky Tomlinson and RalphLittle, yeah, and then like
wrestlers had like Kurt Angleand Kevin Nash and Jake the
(11:00):
Snake Roberts, and then do youremember the Doctor Who was like
Britain Britain Britain?
They had them that the loads ofgames, loads of characters from
video games.
So there's loads of like fairlyquite famous people, yeah.
But if you want to like get yourphotograph taken, it's like 50
quid per person.
Yeah, and like the queues aremassive.
I was like, this is ridiculous.
(11:22):
So anyway, I'm getting ahead ofmyself.
We drive up, it's this massivekind of exhibition center.
So you get into it, and then youhave to drive 26 miles to find a
car parking space, and you getthere, and you can see there are
people who were like reallytaking this seriously, take
their cosplay stuff seriously.
So we got out of the car brainsin this kind of shop bought.
SPEAKER_00 (11:43):
Well, that's nice because you get to see their
costumes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:46):
Some of the costumes are incredible.
Some of some of them were quitelike a lot of the blokes were
like the same kind of size asme, wearing homemade costumes
that probably they shouldn'thave been wearing, like with the
belly hanging over the top andall this kind of stuff.
And then on the other side, youhad a load of slussy-looking
girls, like there were loads ofgirls who dressed as kind of
(12:06):
like you know, oh, I'm sexy elf32, and I'm wearing basically
nothing, just enough to coverthe bits that shouldn't be seen.
And I was like, This is sostrange.
Then there were some people,there was this one guy there,
big fat guy, right?
Like big bigger than I am, andhe'd he had obviously made this
homemade like it was Iron Man's,one of the Iron Man characters,
(12:31):
not Iron Man, one of the oneswith like a machine gun on his
shoulder and everything.
And it was incredible.
You thought, wow, that is onehell of a costume to make, but
it didn't look comfortable.
SPEAKER_00 (12:40):
I was just cost of money as well.
SPEAKER_01 (12:42):
Yeah, I would say cost you money and time and
stuff to make.
And you're like, it looked likesomething out of a movie.
I was like, that's incredible.
But just I just thought thatcan't be comfortable to wear.
Like, I I as a big guy, I liketo wear shorts even when it's
cold, like and like a f afull-on movie costume walking
around all day, and obviouslybecause it was such a cool
costume, everyone was stopping.
(13:02):
Like, everybody there was inincredible costumes, taking
pictures.
We were kind of underdressed,but like I don't know, it was it
was definitely a sight tobehold.
There were some really coolcostumes.
There was a couple of people whojust didn't look very happy.
There was this one guy we werewalking trying to find the
entrance, and there was a guy ina full-on Superman costume, and
he did he just didn't look veryhappy, he just wasn't happy with
(13:25):
life, and I wasn't quite surewhy.
And then I thought, look howtight his pants are.
No wonder he's not happy.
And you just you're walkingaround, and yeah, when you get
in there, then so you okay.
The costumes and stuff arepretty cool.
Not gonna lie, the costumes likesome of this some of these are
pretty cool.
Wouldn't be my cup of tea.
It's like it's a bit too far togo to all that trouble to make a
(13:45):
costume.
Or they're saying that we didused to in the past.
SPEAKER_00 (13:48):
We made some but that's the people attending,
that's not the exhibitionpeople, is it?
SPEAKER_01 (13:52):
No, the the exhibition people then, so you
get in, and they've got somelike they've got old movie props
and stuff, like they had some ofthe Jurassic Park cars, and
there was a GhostbustersNorthern Ireland stand, some of
it was pretty cool.
But I was a bit like, well, whatdo we do now?
We're here.
I didn't really know what wewere meant to do, because
there's some stalls and there'sloads of stuff for sale, so you
(14:14):
can spend a fortune if youwanted.
Yeah, but some of the stuff thatwas for sale was real like deep
geek culture and geek lore.
I was like, okay, where's thelike retro video game standing?
No, no, no.
It's fine if you're into intolike a weird Japanese cartoon
with different types of swords,and like, oh, that's a sword
from episode 3D when such andsuch fought such and such, and
(14:39):
oh, it's got the blood of thedragon on it, and like oh okay,
like uh it was too much for me.
There was it was too deep.
I was like, I'm looking for kindof too deep.
SPEAKER_00 (14:48):
This is too geeky.
SPEAKER_01 (14:49):
This is too geeky for me.
I was like, Ghostbusters, yes,like Ghostbusters, but at the
same time, I'm like, I likeGhostbusters, they're a good
couple of movies, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:57):
But I don't I don't want to know about the physics
Ghostbusters comic book series,two episodes.
SPEAKER_01 (15:04):
Yeah, it was a bit, it was a bit much, it was a bit
much, and the Ghostbusters waskind of the the light level of
it, like Ghostbusters was likeit was all the really deep like
wow, who are these charactersand how do you know them?
And and then what you meant todo, like it there was people
walking around like with swordsthey bought, other stuff they're
(15:24):
bought, and I was like, What iswhat is all this?
SPEAKER_00 (15:26):
And I suppose so did you actually see any of the
famous people, or do you onlysee them if you pay the no you
can go and watch you could goand watch some signings?
SPEAKER_01 (15:34):
So we went and had a bit of a look, and we're like,
Oh, there's Kyle Angle, and ohyeah, there's Christopher Lloyd
and stuff, but the cues to toget anywhere near were massive,
and then like if you want aphoto taken, it's like 200 quid.
So like there was there's likephoto of both sections, and I
just thought the cues toactually yeah, meet these people
were just so big.
SPEAKER_00 (15:53):
I thought that must have been making the ticket,
then you gotta pay more.
SPEAKER_01 (16:00):
So we didn't.
I was like, there was no onebrain's too young, like brain's
not interested in celebritiesyet, so we didn't bother with
any of that.
But it's just it it felt I don'tknow, it felt weird.
It just felt weird queuing topay somebody to have their
signature.
I was like, I don't know.
(16:21):
Like I understand getting asignature, like say you go to a
football match and you'reoutside the stadium as the
players arrive and you hand likeoh can you can you can you sign
this?
It's quite fun.
But this whole idea of payingfor it, I'm like, I don't know,
is would you pay 50 quid to havesomebody sign something?
Like Christopher Lloyd'ssignature was 200.
Like 200 pounds.
(16:42):
There was there was there was aguy there, he took five items,
and it's 200 pounds.
SPEAKER_00 (16:45):
But that's because there's been a massive industry
because so many people now sortof sticking stuff in eBay and
selling it and making anindustry of selling stuff.
So all the deputies now knowpeople selling stuff, so they
won't sign stuff without gettingpaid for it.
Yeah, true.
Because they know someone'sgonna sell it for that 500 quid
(17:06):
on eBay.
So it's yeah, so that's theunfortunate world we're in now.
But I've got Sir Bobby Robson'sautograph on the book, his
autobiography in Nottingham allthose years ago.
But uh I don't yeah, I didn'tpay for it, I just queued up at
Waterstones when he was sellinghis book, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
I wasn't a massive fan of it, to be honest.
Fair play to all the cost thepeople who've done the costumes
is clearly cool.
Fair play, I think, to the thegroups who were there and
clearly having the time of theirlives, but I just it wasn't for
me.
Comic Con wasn't for me.
Two somethings from from uhpointless point of view,
Wallyam's two somethings.
SPEAKER_00 (17:48):
My first look.
Yes, we went on holidayrecently, and um as a first look
in terms of the destination forLogan um was the donkey
sanctuary in um Sidmouth.
Um also some first looks for meas well.
So the the they spent loads ofmoney on it, they've got a new
(18:08):
um sort of cafe, um, which sortof Georgie joked was sponsored
by me because I did ages ago,years ago, years and years ago,
I adopted a donkey for her.
Um and I never got around tocancelling the direct debit.
We stopped getting the thingsfor in the post, and I was meant
to cancel it, I never did.
(18:29):
So yeah, we joked that the cafewas sponsored by Darren
Williams.
But yeah, new cafe there, and Idid donkeys and stuff.
But yeah, went went there withwith Logan and I had my first
look at the the the maze,they've got a hedge maze.
Okay.
So we went to this hedge maze.
Logan was excited for it becausewe had a little map and sort of
oh, there's a maze at thisdonkey sanctuary in Sidmorth.
(18:52):
On the map, the maze graphic wassort of quite simple.
I could you know do it in fiveminutes.
Brilliant.
So we go in, go into this hedgemaze.
Oh, left, right, oh left, right,doubly jubly.
And then it's like oh no, we'relost, and so we're getting
(19:14):
around, just you know, I'm I'mI'm still smiling having fun,
and sort of Logan's runningaround, but then like Logan's
like running ahead and likeLogan, Logan! Oh wow, yes,
flipping heck because you knowif yeah, that's you could
obviously panic, but you don'twant to, it's like, oh no, I um
yeah, it was like a it was agood maze, it was a good maze.
(19:35):
So we're getting lost in there,and then but you know, I've
we've managed to keep him withus, and then you're kind of
like, Oh we don't know whenactually we're gonna get out
now, so you're starting to thinkthis is fun, but yeah, it's now
out of my control when we'regonna leave.
It's like all right, we'releaving now five minutes.
So Logan, you know, he trippedover, face planted, dirt, dirt
(19:58):
in the mouth and stuff.
I'm like, oh no, if this doesn'tgo back to normal quickly, we're
in a maze with a screaming,unhappy toddler.
But you know, he was a trooperand cleaned him up and he's good
to go.
And yeah, we're wandering aroundfor ages, and and then so you
(20:19):
know, left, right, oh dead end,oh, left, right, left, right,
right, right, left.
And then we turn we get to thisone dead end, right?
We turn to it, we stop, and thensort of me and the wife, we look
down, and we're like, we look ateach other, and then Logan
points to it and goes, Pooh.
(20:42):
There's a human, a human poo inthis dead end.
This dead end of this maze is abig heap of human poo.
So someone's so we're we're nowpanicking in terms of someone's
obviously been stuck in here fora long time and they've needed
to go, and they've just gone,right, I'm gonna have a dump.
(21:02):
And the most polite place to gois at a dead end.
And they've had this dump.
How'd you know it was a humanpoo?
You know you can tell.
You know the difference betweena human poo.
You sure if I if I if I put infront of you a dog, you would
know the difference, surely.
SPEAKER_01 (21:16):
You know you do.
I don't know.
I've never thought about it thatdeeply.
Depends on if it's a big dog.
SPEAKER_00 (21:22):
You've picked up enough dog poo's in your time.
You know, I know you haven'tpicked up a human poo, but so
that that poor g you've hadyou've had human poo's yourself,
so you know what the differenceis.
So not to get into details, butthey look different, don't they?
SPEAKER_01 (21:35):
Oh, poor person, whoever's done that poo, that's
that's bad, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
Sorry, sorry, co cobrance.
SPEAKER_01 (21:40):
You love co you love co-brown, don't you?
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
No, but they're just they keep coming up in our in
our lives.
But um, yeah, and then Loganfinds the player.
SPEAKER_01 (21:50):
You should literally get a t-shirt that says shit
happens.
SPEAKER_00 (21:54):
But yeah, but then we started thinking up well,
someone's obviously been herefor a longer time.
Then we start panicking up whatare we gonna do?
You know, if we're stuck herefor a while, we need to go, you
know, what do you what do youdo?
You start panicking, and theneventually we find the middle.
Wait, you found the middle, andthere's like a congratulations
sign, you found the middle.
And we sit there for a littlebreak, and Lego's like, yeah, we
(22:16):
did it.
Then I'm thinking, we still needto get out.
SPEAKER_01 (22:22):
But yeah, we uh there's usually a straight X
out, isn't there?
You don't have to go around thewhole back through.
SPEAKER_00 (22:28):
No, no, no, you still gotta yeah, you still
gotta go back through againwhere you came.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Goodness mate.
But um it didn't take us as longto get there, but um yeah, kind
of avoided the dead end of thethe poo.
But yeah, I mean the last timewe did a hedge maze, it was like
you could step over the hedge.
So I went, I think I was inWoburn Abbey years ago, and it's
(22:50):
like oh we're stuck, and we justwent, just step over it, just
cheat and go over the top.
But this one, this one was yeah,this one was it was pretty good,
yeah.
So I recommend it.
Donkey Sentry, go in the maze,but just prepare, it's not as
easy as you first think with atwo-year-old to do prepare that
you might be in there longerthan you uh want to.
(23:11):
And use the toilet.
We actually got this.
We went to the new went to thenew cafe and spent ages in the
new cafe and then in the maze,and then Logan loved the
playground, so we didn'tactually see that many donkeys
really, but but yeah, that wasthe first look into the donkey
maze in the donkey sanctuary inSydney.
SPEAKER_01 (23:29):
Did you feel at any point claustrophobic?
Like a bit like, oh, I don'tlike this.
SPEAKER_00 (23:33):
A little bit.
It was more the it was moreLogan running away and getting
lost.
Ah, that would shit me up.
But being in because it's one ofthose weird things because they
wouldn't be that far away.
You could always hear them, butyou couldn't quite work out how
to get them.
Yeah.
So it's a case of well, they'reliterally there, but I can't go
through the hedge.
But and then being atwo-year-old, he's gonna just
(23:55):
keep running around and not.
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Oh, you may never find him ever again.
SPEAKER_00 (23:59):
Yeah.
And then yeah, the the the addedhuman poo in the dead end, that
kind of like, oh did you did youat any point kind of get your
phone out and GPS where youwere?
SPEAKER_01 (24:10):
Because obviously, like on Google Maps, you can
kind of see dark you can zoom inand be like, oh right.
SPEAKER_00 (24:15):
Yeah, but it's not really it's a big maze, but not
big enough for you to go, right,Google Maps.
Okay.
So it wouldn't it wouldn'treally work.
And then we sort of likeworried, well, hang on, because
next to the uh I mean initiallywe never actually checked, but
we presumed the so beside themaze was the memorial wall, and
we thought the memorial wall wasfor the donkeys, but then we
(24:37):
started thinking, oh hang on,this might be the memorial wall
for the people that didn'tsurvive the maze.
SPEAKER_01 (24:44):
It sounds awesome.
There's not that many mazesaround these days, is there?
SPEAKER_00 (24:48):
There isn't.
No, it could always be it couldalways sorry.
Yeah, in the old days.
In the old days there was alwaysa hedge.
Just you know.
SPEAKER_01 (24:57):
I don't know if there was yeah, human feces in
them, which is a yeah,definitely a bit concerning.
SPEAKER_00 (25:02):
No.
It reminds me of the uh theHarry Potter one with the the
maze, the hedge maze.
SPEAKER_01 (25:08):
Oh yes, goblet of fire.
SPEAKER_00 (25:10):
Yes, yes, yes, it reminded me of that.
SPEAKER_01 (25:12):
Yeah, the extended version where Harry gets caught
short and has to take a shit.
Yeah, a different a differentkind of expellia.
Yes, yes.
Have you ever been caught shortwhile himself needed to poo
outside?
SPEAKER_00 (25:28):
I have not.
SPEAKER_01 (25:29):
Have you said not, no, but like I remember Braden
was out.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm I'm sure.
Um I'll tell you about this offair.
That the uh the uh he's donebefore that's what I said.
Okay.
I haven't I haven't told youthat story, have I?
Yeah, I've oh my goodness.
Something about a fox, wasn'tit?
SPEAKER_00 (25:50):
There's one in a pretty previous episode, but we
didn't broadcast.
SPEAKER_01 (25:52):
Thank goodness, thank goodness for that.
No, the jokes aside, the Brainwent out with his friend and his
friend's dad, and his friend gotcaught short, and they're like,
cool, okay, so what do you haveto do?
So they brain's always like, Oh,don't worry, if you ever
actually need to, you can justdo a nature poo.
Just nature, a nature poo.
I was like, that's a nice way toput it.
Do you reckon whoever's walkingaround your maze just thought,
(26:13):
uh, this is lovely.
I'll just do a nature poo.
Just do a nature poo.
SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
I'm in nature.
I mean it's a yeah, it's agravel path, but yeah, with
hedges around me.
SPEAKER_01 (26:22):
And was it fresh?
SPEAKER_00 (26:24):
Uh well I don't know.
I didn't poke us if it was warm.
SPEAKER_01 (26:31):
Was the steam emerging from this?
Uh there was there was there'sno steam.
SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
So yeah, I think uh Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:40):
The things you see, Walem's are things you see.
SPEAKER_00 (26:41):
It might still be wandering the maze now, who
knows?
Who knows?
Might not across who knows.
Who knows?
Yeah.
Uh but uh anyways, um yeah, toend on uh in a bit of a note.
Um I once directed a theatricalperformance about puns.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it was uh it was a play onwords.
SPEAKER_01 (27:04):
Uh very good.
SPEAKER_00 (27:08):
Alright, alright, alright.
SPEAKER_01 (27:10):
So what happened to the bad jokes?
Or the bad jokes now, this aredad jokes.
SPEAKER_00 (27:15):
That was a bad joke.
SPEAKER_01 (27:16):
That was the bad joke.
I enjoyed it.
It's very much a dad joke, isn'tit?
It's a bad dad joke.
SPEAKER_00 (27:23):
Uh yeah, they they blur into one sometimes.
That's it.
That's it.
Alright, everybody, until nexttime.
Email us first at namesouthern.com.
SPEAKER_01 (27:33):
Well see if Dave Benton Phillips can uh do you
reckon he's listened to anyepisodes yet?
Tropical fruits.
Tropical fruits.
SPEAKER_00 (27:42):
Tropical fruits.
SPEAKER_01 (27:43):
Bye everybody.
SPEAKER_00 (27:44):
Bye everyone.
SPEAKER_01 (27:47):
Boom chum boom boom chum boom chum boom boom boom
boom boom.
SPEAKER_00 (27:56):
Email first look no.
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