February 5, 2025 • 44 mins
Walliams and Mr. Hodgkiss are here to give you some more first looks on their every other week podcast
Walliams takes the plunge with a robust 8.4% double IPA from North Brewery, while Mr. Hodgkiss opts for something less intoxicating.
We then whisk you away on a fantastic, ice-filled adventure to Disney on Ice in Belfast, where the magic of childhood classics gets a fresh spin. You’ll hear all about the antics and costs of enjoying a Disney spectacle with family, including the shock from a Maui hook that could rival a small fortune. As a bonus, we throw in a quick jab at "The Masked Singer," a show with a format so baffling it makes us nostalgic for simpler TV pleasures. It's family fun and puzzling TV in equal measure.
Finally, prepare for a trip back in time to the days of "Thomas the Tank Engine" and "Stars in Their Eyes." We chat about the timeless appeal of train tales and share Logan’s delight in receiving the original Thomas books for Christmas. In a twist of relationship humor, and an unexpected gift-giving dilemma.
Join us for a first look at
- The Masked Singer
- Disney on Ice
- Thomas & Friends
A thirsty thirst
NORTH BREWERY Ultra Phase
Fishpond of Feedback
The Gno it all gnome gives you his relationship advice (if you want it or not)
A surprise call in from a special guest?
And the usual Bad Jokes ....
Dont forget to write in to firstlookgnomes@outlook.com
Click here via your Mobile Device to send us a message!
Please Subscribe , leave a 5* Review, Follow, Like and Share this Podcast to show your support for more episodes.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Grab a pint, pull up a toadstool and get ready to
giggle and groan with yourfavourite gnome crew.
Welcome to First Yook Gnomes,where the beers are stronger
than your dad's handshake andthe jokes are as bad as his puns
.
Your hosts Walliams and MrHodgkiss.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Welcome back, episode six.
Six bomb, six bomb.
You're a six bomb.
You can give it to me when Ipot along.
Six bomb, six bomb.
You're my six bomb.
Spotify, you can turn me on hey.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I was not expecting that that might be your best one
yet.
Six bomb, six bomb.
I'm going to be singing thatlater as I go to bed.
Six bomb, six bomb.
Oh, your wife is a lucky lady.
A for effort, wiles.
That was superb.
Thank you, wiles.
Welcome to episode six.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Hi everybody, I've actually run out of beer.
Sorry listeners, we've actuallyrun out of beer.
Sorry listeners, we've not runout of beer.
Starched a beer.
I've had a beer.
You've had a couple, I think.
Spoiler alert we've justrecorded episode five, so I've
had a beer already.
This is the same evening I'mgoing into the thirsty first
fridge again.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Go in there.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Do-do-do do, do, do, Do, do, do, do, do do.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
This is just the making of this podcast is just
really to help give validationto Dan trying lots and lots of
beers.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Basically, yeah.
So the reason for the podcaststarted it's just for an excuse
to make sure me and Mr Hodgkissspeak to each other at least
once a month.
But the hidden meaning was forme to make sure I drink new
beers.
And also, spoiler alert, I havebeen drinking already this
(02:00):
evening and Mr Hodgkiss has not.
Well, he has, but on the zero.
So I do apologize if there's adifference in quality between um
myself, mr hodgkiss thisevening don't worry, williams.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Last time we did this , uh, the episode that you
recorded after having drinksdidn't end up anywhere, so, um
no, so maybe we may ever hearthis anyway, so you wish.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
End of the day.
We've had a good time, that'sall that matters.
We're enjoying ourselves well.
I have anyway a lovely blackcamp north again, as, the same
as last episode, this is a ultraphase, an 8.4% you're going
stronger.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
That's a double IPA.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
isn't it a DIPA?
On episode 5, we didn't knowwhat double DH IPA was.
Isn't it A DIPA?
On episode five, we didn't knowwhat a double DH IPA was.
No, but a DIPA, I presume, is adouble IPA, which is a luscious
double IPA made with USA andAustralian hops.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Saturated in honeydew , melon, green grape and pink
grapefruit, flamed with alasting citrus finish.
Mr Hodgkins, you're the soberone.
Did I give the episode fivefirst to first a score?
You did not.
No, I did not.
I would give that a 8.5.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Wow, that's a lot of fingers.
It was a very good one.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Once again, this is vegan.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Lovely can good quality artwork.
Um, I have some.
Eat me as well.
Oh, you know what double d is?
I do, it's a double dry hoppedipa, a double dry hop.
Dry hopping is the process ofadding hops to beer after
fermentation, typically toenhance aroma and flavour
without adding bitterness.
Oh well, apparently you shouldexpect big, vibrant hop aromas
(03:53):
Think citrus, tropical fruit,pine or flora.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
That was the previous episode.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah, so this one's a .
Speaker 2 (03:59):
DIPA.
This is a double IPA, so thatmeans I think I've got a feeling
I might prefer a double D.
Okay, you said that before Lessof a Less of an impact on the
smell.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
I can't believe you're going Like just again
it's peaked behind the curtain.
It's 20 past 11 on a Saturdaynight and you're going for an
8.4% beer.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, I mean it's fairly smooth for an 8.4%, but
you can taste the alcohol more.
It's a.
I regret the decision 20 past11, drinking an 8.4%.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
You'll sleep well tonight, George.
You're going to hear lots ofstories.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
The wifey wife is not going to appreciate this and
she won't realise until theepisode comes out.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
And you are an editor , so you can always edit it out.
You can say, oh, the strengthof this beer is.
And then get the AI to say 2.6.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It's a 2.6.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
It's a glass of water , so how many fingers are you
giving this one?
Seven, oh so still a good scorethen yeah, it's a no, sorry
actually no hang on, hang on.
He takes this very seriously.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I do actually sorry back in.
I mean you could drink thoseand you'd be on the floor after
one.
Stay tuned to see if Wallycomes up.
I mean you could drink thoseand you'd be on the floor after
one.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Stay tuned to see if Wally comes up on the floor and
he'll probably try and play it.
If you listen to episode five,he might even fall down the
stairs.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I wasn't drunk.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
You will be tonight.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I'm only going to give it a seven because,
compared to the other beers,I've scored higher.
So a seven I think is quite.
I've scored higher, so a 7 Ithink is quite a decent score
still.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
It's a generous score .
Well done, north Brewery.
You've made some good ones, mrHodgkiss.
Feedback on the feedback Getthe rod out.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Oh, the rod is out, get it out.
We're going to the fish pond offeedback, fish pond of feedback
.
We've had a message through.
This episode will probablyrelease end of January, start of
February.
We've had a message throughfrom a Linda Carey saying Merry
(06:20):
Christmas, so apologies for thedelay.
Merry Christmas back, merryChristmas, so apologies for the
delay.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Oh, Merry Christmas back.
Merry Christmas Linda.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Ah, there's um.
There's something hanging offthe end of your tackle, oh dear
and uh, I'm not sure what thatis let's have a look, let's have
a look at the end of yourtackle.
An email.
Yeah, we've got an email fromthe fish pond feedback.
(06:51):
Lovely Subject line Honestfeedback, oh dear, is this from
your wife?
(07:12):
Good afternoon.
Is this from your wife?
Good afternoon.
As a relatively new listener toyour podcast, I relish the
opportunity to listen to eachnew episode as I and this is me
speaking here I think thequotation marks are important.
Okay, quotation marks WFH,which, as we know, is work from
home.
I relish the opportunity tolisten to each new episode as I
(07:38):
WFH.
I marvel at the way the two ofyou interact and I'm genuinely
surprised at the informativecontent you share with your
listeners Wow.
My only feedback would be thatthe two of you seem to be on
different levels in terms of thequality of humour and your
(07:58):
general banter.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Oh dear.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Williams, is it time you spread your wings, go it
alone and really make a name foryourself.
Couldn't agree more.
Don't let him hold you back.
Your friend and avid listener.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Morgz from Wally very good listeners to episode 5
will know Morgz.
He's one of the people whorequested one of those videos
that we talked about in episode5.
Go back and listen right to theend.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
How lovely to hear from Morgz yes, lovely to hear
from our Weybridge listener umnew listeners.
We actually it's um is that the?
Word?
What's the word?
What's the word?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
you're dumbfounded by the amount of people I'm
dumbfounded by the people thatactually people search.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Go to the podcast.
I'm dumbfounded by the peoplethat actually people search.
Go to our podcast and listen toit.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
So where are these new listeners?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
These new listeners are from, so we've got from
Bangor, Ards and North Down,which I believe is.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
That's by us, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Oh is it.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Bangor.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah Bangor yeah, yeah, bangor, yeah,
it's in between where I live,bangor.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Northern Newtownards.
Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Bangor, northern.
Oh okay, nice, okay.
Uh, lesser near you, busan,south Korea.
Ooh um, orillia in Ontario,which is a an old, somber guy of
mine, which, uh, one of myfellow canadians fellow
canadians, I'm not canadian, youknow what I mean one of your
(09:51):
old chums chesterfield,derbyshire and after the best
part of two seasons and nolisteners in africa.
And then we got, uh, cairo andegypt, it's all kicking Africa.
And then we've got Cairo inEgypt, it's all kicking off.
Mr Oshkiss, we've got a newlistener from Cape Town in South
Africa.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
No way yes, yes, way we're reaching all corners of
the globe here all corners ofthe globe.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Little quiz, mr Oshkiss little quiz.
Oh, I love a little quiz, mrOshkiss little quiz, just to
round off 2024.
Who are the top 5?
Not necessarily in order, but Iwant you to guess the top 5
countries that our gnomelisteners come to.
So, as in, where most listenerscome from the top 5 countries,
(10:45):
I expect you to get at leastthree out of five, and if you
think that's the three, I'll bedisappointed.
Okay.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Are we saying the UK is one country Correct, so the
UK Correct and Canada.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
And America.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Correct, that's three out of five and they are the
United Kingdom is first, theUnited States is second, canada
is third.
I kind of expect Canada to besecond.
The United States is second,after that Fourth or fifth most
popular listeners.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I'd probably say Australia, incorrect.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
No, all right, I'll give one more guess.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Let's go for the Republic of Ireland.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
No.
Pakistan and Taiwan.
Wow, number one, united Kingdom, number two United States.
Number three Canada.
Number four Pakistan.
Number five Taiwan.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Well, hello to everybody in those countries.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
So, yes, so thank you for our know me listeners from
2024 and, uh, those thatcontinue to listen in 2025 there
must be something better youcan do, listeners, but we're
great, we're great for you here.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Um, so my first look, uh, we recently went to see
Disney on Ice, which wasactually pretty good.
So we have a child who InBelfast, in Belfast, yeah, at
the arena.
So we have a child and a wifewho both like Disney, and we
(12:18):
have in-laws who also likeDisney.
So we, we have a wife, we, theroyal, we, I have a wife.
He's a big disney, he's a bigdisney freak.
yeah, um, I've married into adisney freak, um, but we were
these things a while ago and itwas great because I'm going to
sound like a proper dad here theprice of tickets for things
(12:40):
these days, but the?
Um, the tickets were reallyreasonably priced, like I think
they were like 20 somethingpounds each, which I thought was
pretty good for, like, a bigarena show.
Yeah, um.
So we took, uh, the in-laws andwe took my mother along as well
and we took brain and it was areally good show.
The it wasn't.
I'd.
I'd been to one before.
(13:01):
I took leslie ann to one in2010, and that was just trying
to win brainy points.
This was the first time I'dtaken my kid to it and it was
much better, I must admit, likethe show was.
I don't know if it's justbecause, as you say, I've been
indoctrinated into the world ofDisney now.
Yeah, but it was superb.
They had a big cast and theydid loads of stuff for the kids
(13:22):
and they got the crowd going andit was really good.
The only complaint I have andit's a big one so Brady Bunch,
so these arena shows, of courseit's Disney it's all about.
They want to make the money.
They want people indoctrinatedinto the brand so people become
lifelong fans and the lifetimevalue of that customer goes up
(13:43):
and et cetera, et cetera.
So what do they do?
So we go, and my mom's thereand his other grandma's there,
and they both say, oh, he's like, oh, he's 10 pounds.
They both give him 10 pounds,he's got 20 pounds to buy
himself and I get 20 pounds.
Good, um, so we go to the merchstand.
Is there anything there for 20pounds?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Is there anything there for 20?
Speaker 3 (14:05):
pounds, is there not?
So he wanted this hook.
It's a.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Maui hook like just a plastic hook as in like Captain
.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Hook no from Moana.
You know the rock.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
He has like a hook, a fish hook.
I'm out of touch, listeners,I'm out of touch.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Well, all this is is a piece of plastic right it's
like something you get fromBlackpool for two pounds and
they wanted how much?
Do you think this thing waswell?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
this is more than 20, which is ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
It was more than 20 25 more.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, what for a hook .
So what Describe?
You know what?
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I'll send you a picture.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Are we talking plastic Like plastic plastic?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Plastic.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I'm talking sort of handcrafted.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
I've just seen one on eBay for a lot less than I'm
paying for it, so let me copythis image and send this to you.
This is all.
It is just a plastic hook.
Can you see that?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I can, and that's plastic, I mean that looks
engraved and all sorts therethat looks.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
No, it's just that'd be, it's not it's not like a 3d
printer type job, no, but well,a bit better than a 3d printer,
like a toy it's just a littletoy, a plastic hook 33 pounds
and I was like okay, and thenthey had other things.
(15:38):
I sound like a right tight asshere, but like some of the stuff
they had on sale was was like.
I was like, okay, so the ticketswere reasonably priced, but the
merch and of course all thekids had to have the merch and
all the colors, and I was like,wow, that's where they made all
the money.
I mean, duh, it was so.
(15:58):
That was my only grumble wasthe amount of parents who had
gone there to take the kids in.
This is reasonable.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
And they get stung for all, because everything
there is like yeah, of courseand every if.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
If you see another kid with one, it's like, well,
why can't I have it?
So you, everybody want, nobodywants to be like.
You know you can't have it to akid when you take them for a
nice day, yeah so he ended up.
He ended up getting the hookand to be fair, he has got it.
He's put it up in his room andhe does like it and other than
the price of that, the showitself was incredible.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
The people who were doing the ice skating was
incredible.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
The stunts they did the show I would.
If anybody has kids and he'slike, oh, this is probably a bit
, I can highly recommend it fora afternoon out.
Um, I was well impressed.
That was my first look atWalliams.
Disney on ice Gets a thumbs up.
(16:50):
I have a little one that I wasgoing to do.
I don't want to beconversational on this, but I
have to ask Walliams becauseI've never watched this.
I've heard about it but I'venever watched it.
Tonight I caught about 20minutes of it and I was like
what is what is this?
What?
What is it?
The mass singer?
Like what?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
what is it if it was squeezed down to 20 minutes?
Yeah, probably a good show, butno it, um it.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
It made my toes curl I was watching you've got like,
you've got jonathan ross anddavina mccall and they're all
kind of dancing and making theseweird comments and it wasn't
funny.
New series, or it must be.
Yeah, it must be new series.
Yeah, it was, we were justflicking, we were just having.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah, we're not yeah, we tried it when it first came
out, the first series and thepremise it was good, but it just
did so much trying to build uplike drum roll, yeah, and then
repeat what they just said, andthen like repeat what they said
again, yeah, beat it and thendrum roll and then it's just
yeah, it's massively popularthough like people love it.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, no, we can't get into it, but me neither yeah
, I like the idea, if you're afan tell us what we're missing,
like if anyone's a fan out thereof the show and write it to
first at noam's first at noam'soutlookcom.
tell us what we're missing, tellus why we should be getting
into it.
And maybe we're just too oldand cynical.
Maybe you have to be more likewoo, yeah, and just throw
(18:22):
yourself into it.
But I just, I just couldn't getinto it.
I was like what is it?
And they were like no.
I was like not for me, no, no,over Christmas we actually went
back and watched.
I mean this is quite sad.
Again, we're talking aboutretro and I found out something.
There's a Northern Irishmancalled Foy Vance and he was on
Stars in the Rise, foy V and hewas on stars in the rise for
(18:49):
events and he was on stars inthe rise before he was famous.
So that sent us down an oldstars in the rise rabbit hole on
youtube and I mean, if I'msaying the mass singer is bad,
stars in the rise was flippingawful like watching it back, I
was like how was this primetime?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
tv.
That was the the missed.
Then I'm going to be that oneTonight Matthew.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
I'm going to be Madonna Tonight, matthew.
Yeah, so one of the ones wewatched was Madonna and this
woman comes out hello, I'm Julie.
I'm from Manchester.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
And I work at McHouse .
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Tonight, matthew, I'm going to be Madonna and she
comes out, sounds nothing likeMadonna, absolutely nothing like
her.
Can't dance like madonna,doesn't sound like madonna.
And then it was like there wasso many bad ones.
A guy come out and we came outas billy joel.
He said other than he sung asong.
That was the only thing he hadin common with billy joel.
(19:41):
He didn't sound anything like Ithink standards were.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I think standards were less it was so bad.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
It was so bad.
I'm trying to think of some ofthe ones we watched.
There were maybe one or two whowere like, oh, actually that's
a pretty good impression, butthey made a whole show out of
tribute acts.
Oh dear, it was really funnywatching it back.
When you look back at it, youthink, oh, stars and Rises was
brilliant.
And then funny watching it backand thinking, you know, when
you look back at it you think,oh, your stars are always
(20:07):
brilliant.
And then you watch back likehow was?
Speaker 2 (20:11):
it brilliant and that would have been prime time tv
as well oh 100 especially whenwe had what four or five
channels, that would have beenprobably 12, 12 million viewers
well, I wonder if Braden nowcause he got into it.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
He was like oh yeah, I'm a singer, so I wonder like
when he's older he'll be like oh, when we were kids we had all
the great shows like the MaskedSinger, and then he'll go on his
YouTube and watching go.
Actually, the Masked Singer wasa bit shit and that first look
for me.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
So a little bit of a first look for me, but a first
look for Logan, but a topic areathat I used to watch as a kid.
But now it's a whole new world.
It's a whole new world.
Thomas the Tank Engine, thomasthe Tank Engine, thomas the Tank
(21:04):
Engine was a favourite of mine,but you know we're talking
1980s, early 1990s and it'schanged so much since then, but
also probably when we watched it.
It's obviously changed a lotbecause it's a 1940s idea.
(21:25):
Yeah so Thomas Tank Engine,logan is.
It's obviously changed a lotbecause it's a 1940s idea.
Yeah, so Thomas tank engine.
Um, logan is he's.
He's fully into trains.
He loves Thomas tank engine,which I'm partly obviously
mentioned what's the grommet,and that's my.
Yeah, growing up and he enjoyedthat.
He's in the Thomas tank engineas well, so that's win-win.
(21:45):
So yes, he likes thomas tankengine and post and pat nice um,
but um, yeah, so, thomas, thankyou.
So first look for logan atthomas tank engine, but first
look for me as well in terms ofall the new characters.
Then, just so, and forchristmas.
So we got him the and I mustadmit it's partly for me, but
(22:07):
the old, basically the oldoriginal um, book set box set,
book set box set, I don't know.
But basically yeah, the original27 books of thomas tank engine.
Um, but he loves them.
Yeah, it's very, it's verywordy, and there's that one.
So you got quite a few words,one picture, and he'll just
(22:28):
stare at that one picture forages whilst you're reading all
the yeah it must be the way it'swritten and a little bit like a
train go along, so it repeatsitself.
Yeah, um and um, logan's verymuch.
Um, he says choo-choo, now hesays chugga-chugga.
Um, you know he's fully intohis trains and at christmas time
(22:52):
he got train sets and he justloves.
He loves trains, though percypercy's one of his favorites,
and percy is old school percy'slike one of the, the ogs, um,
but he's also one of hisfavorites is nia.
So Nia is a new ones and Nia'sfrom Kenya.
Nia's orange and colorful, butthere's, there's, there's so
(23:12):
much, so it's 19 to this box set.
We got Thomas, a tank engine,1940s, so you know.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh, 84 years ago, 85 years ago, yeah, and not too bad
when you read it so far.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
So I've only read up to book 8 so far.
The original 27 books yeah andapart from the fat controller,
there's nothing too like youwouldn't really say that these
days, I think yeah, um, but umyou haven't got to cancel,
thomas no, they're just good andit's just good honest.
(23:52):
A bit like the old watsongrommets it's just good, honest
charm yeah um, there's, uh,there's.
There's new characters now.
So there's kena, which I don'tlike.
Kena, uh, logan's nanny is nota fan of kena.
The electric train, no, no, noelectric, the good old-fashioned
(24:13):
steam trains.
So with the original originaland from what I remember of
thomas tank engine, um, it feltlike a bit like post and pat
where I was, like in inyorkshire or somewhere, some
random village or something.
There's new episodes now whichare quite american.
There's like american versionsof it yeah, thomas can fly and
(24:37):
things and there's like, and thetheme tunes like go, go go,
thomas, go go go, and it's alljust over the top, too colorful
Too, um toys.
Yeah, and a bit like the newpost and pack.
It's like special deliveryservice, whereas I don't know
(25:01):
there's something to be saidabout the old school.
So Thomas the Tank EnginePostman Pat in Yorkshire going
through the old Yorkshire Dalesand just chugging along and
choo-choo-choo and Farming.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Sound as well.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Yeah, farming Sound Postman Pat, for instance, would
pop in, have a cup, cup of tea,speak to the person he's
delivering to and then crack up,whereas now it's just like go,
go, go deliver.
It's all about speed, and so Ithink my bigger picture is mr
logic is is this affecting ourkids these days, these cartoon
(25:37):
quick, quick, quick add into theanxiety and the stress?
Speaker 3 (25:43):
and no, of course it's not, I don't think so.
Anyway, the we had, so we we'vebeen through this very similar
you gave we're going through.
Williams is very normal verynormal to be expected and I can
confirm and concur that bradenwas exactly the same trump
thomas mad postman pat mad lovedit when they combined it.
(26:07):
So in postman pat you got thepencaster flyer, if memory
serves me correct, and the uh,the pencaster rocket and the
pencaster flyer, which are twotrains that feature in.
Okay, oh rare one, christmas.
He asked for a pencaster fly, atoy, let's get it second hand.
And we had to drive an hour anda half away to pick this thing
up.
That's a different story foranother podcast, um, but it's
(26:29):
quite normal because obviouslyyou've got such strong memories
and bonds with the show yourself.
But when you, you know to thekids, like brain would would
often say like if I tried tomake him watch the old thomas
now we had, he was out, he'dgrown out of thomas before they
went really cartoony, um, so wehad the kind of 3d versions,
thomas and friends, which, um,still a lot of classic
(26:52):
characters, but we're stillpretty good, like the channel 5,
pretty good.
Now the cartoon version whereit's like go, go, go, and like
you say, there's it's all thomasand friends from around the
world and there's movies.
It's like go, go, go, and likeyou say, it's all Thomas and
Friends from around the worldand there's movies.
It's like, well, okay, this isjust too much.
It's not as I wouldn't.
I was like, ooh, I like the oldone, but that's just because
you're on this.
No charm, but that's justbecause of our nostalgic
(27:12):
approach.
Logan will tell you what helikes the most.
Does he like it?
Which one doesn't he like?
You know we.
It's hard sometimes because youwant to try and steer your kids
into things you like.
I tried so hard to get brain towatch.
I bought the turtle teenagemutant, ninja turtles, yeah
series, once for couldn't streaman ms.
I bought on dvd again.
Oh, let's watch.
(27:33):
This is brilliant 10 minutesand he's like he's rubbish dad.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I don't want to watch this like I want to go watch
something.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Yeah, it's whatever like there's new programs that
the kids are going to watch andnow have exactly.
God willing, they will haveexactly the same kind of
conversation about.
You know that thomas, and in thenew version of thomas and the
postman special delivery service, rather than just postman pat,
you know, it's just it's.
(28:00):
You think about our parents,right?
Some of the, some of the shitmy old man would say like he
used to watch, like jamie andhis magic torch and the magic
roundabout and the was it theherbs?
Like sage, and I remember mrben, you watch.
If my dad ever tried to make mewatch that I'd be like shut up.
I want to watch Danger Mouse.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, you know, oh, danger Mouse, yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
So even Danger Mouse has had a facelift.
Yeah, but like what we watchedInspector, gadget and stuff like
that our kids would be likewell, I learned to tosh what our
parents watched, we would haveprobably just turned our noses
up.
Okay, this is what the kids areinto.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
And, uh, hard though still, just, you know,
occasionally just force him tobut so far he is enjoying the
old school thomas oh, that'sgood as well as the new stuff
that's good, and it's good foryou as well, because you enjoy
it as well yeah yeah, makes it alot easier so yeah, so first
look at the, the new th, the oldThomas.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Old Thomas is better, the next generation, if you.
So I remember there's.
There's a video of cause.
Obviously you and I like ACDC.
There's a song called rock androll train and somebody has put
old school Thomas video overrock and roll train and it's
very funny.
Brian thinks it's the funniestthing in the world.
So, if you, I don't think it'sjust funny brain things, it's
(29:20):
the funniest thing in the world.
Okay, if you, I don't thinkit's funny, but he finds it very
funny.
So rock and roll train versusThomas the Tank Engine yeah,
enjoyable.
Stop give me a ring, see if yousee if you can get my chemical
chemical chemical.
See what happens a chemical yougotta do number.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yeah, I do one second let me just, I'll give him a
call.
Give him a call and see whathappens.
I'll give him a call.
You've got to give him a number, haven't you?
I do One second.
Let me just give him a call.
What's his number?
There?
It is 077-054-321.
Hopefully no one's listening tothis 3-2-1-double-double-zero.
(30:02):
Here we go.
It's phoning.
Oh, hello, hello, hello, darts,yet darts, yet, yeah, darts,
he's on the way.
He's on the way he said.
Is he coming?
Is he coming on the way he said?
on the way.
Darts, darts on the way.
Oh very, oh, very good, so he'son the way he's okay.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Well, why are you waiting for him?
Should I go and see if I know,or know him once?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
I'm gonna have a chat yeah, I mean, what an episode,
no or no, and potentiallymichael van gogh and coming in.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Well, why not?
All right?
Um cool right, I'm gonna go,I'll go and see.
Oh my god who's?
Here.
Who's here who?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
is not both of them, is it both of them?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
no, just a no or no that would be a lesson, no or no
.
Interviewing michael vangerling yes, well, I've got to
go because I need to give up myseat.
Hang on, all right, you're allright.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Oh, hello hey no or no how you doing, I'm doing all
right, thank you how?
Speaker 4 (30:58):
are you?
Are you doing Good?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
good, yeah, not too bad.
Not too bad.
I was just thinking wouldn't itbe lovely if Mr Hodgkiss, the
Nail or Gnome and Michael VanGerwen were in the same room?
That would be.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
That would be a very busy room.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
It would be a busy room, but not to be, not to be.
How are you doing right?
Speaker 4 (31:19):
I'm okay.
Yes, I am very cold at theminute.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
It's very tough to me , yeah, tough to me.
Winter tough to me becauseyou're predominantly outside.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Well, I'm here today because I, if you remember, Dan,
I did actually speak to you onepisode four.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
You did, you did.
Is that the one we recorded ornot?
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Yes, you did.
Is that the one we recorded ornot?
Yes, it was.
No, we didn't record it before.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
We recorded it.
It just never saw the light ofday.
No, it did not, it's becausesomebody forgot to press play
and record.
So I'm here today because thelisteners have probably missed
me and I thought it would be agood idea to come and continue
my series on helping people withtheir relationships.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yes, relationship advice, wasn't it?
Yes, yes, and we had a request.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
We've had a request from a listener who wants to
know From.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Weybridge how do?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
you tell your partner From Weybridge or where they're
from?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
No, no, this person is from Bangor, okay, bangor.
We've had a question that saidhow do you tell your partner?
Speaker 4 (32:27):
the gift they got you isn't quite the right one, oh
dear.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
And I thought this was because of the New.
Year.
Yes, like a Christmas gift or abirthday gift.
It doesn't specify, but Iunderstand that this is a very
Sensitive matter and one I'veexperienced Myself.
So I thought I'd tell you inthe listeners a story About me
and my beloved wife FromChristmas many moons ago, before
(32:53):
she was Shattered and destroyedby the lawnmower.
Yes, yes, on the road toChristmas I've been dropping a
few Hints about needing afishing rod.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
Subtle things, subtle things like leaving Gnome
Fishing Weekly open on theadvert for the local rod shop
and complaining about the rod Ihad, yes, well, on Christmas
morning, my good wife, theRodmas 2000,.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
that's a good one.
Speaker 4 (33:19):
No, I don't want the Rodmas 2000,.
Do we need to?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
No.
On Christmas morning my goodwife presented me with a lovely
long box and I knew right thenShe'd gotten, she Whoops.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
She displayed her box .
Speaker 3 (33:45):
she displayed her box , alright, okay and yeah, it was
a shoulder and and I knew she'dgotten the hint.
Hmm, as I took a look in thebox, and only we should gotten
the hint, hmm, as I took a lookin the box, hmm.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Hmm, I put a box in the box.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I mean sorry, it was indeed a fishing rod, but she'd
gotten me the salmon snatcher400.
There was a rod in the box,brand new rod in the box, and
she'd gotten me the salmonsnatcher 400 the salmon snatcher
, the salmon snatcher 400.
(34:50):
When I had my heart set on thecodpiece 4000.
So as she hugged me and askedif I liked what I saw in her box
, I of course said Is thecodpiece the box?
Speaker 2 (35:06):
No.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
No, she's got me the salmon snatcher.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
I wanted the codpiece .
The codpiece was in her box no.
So, this is a very seriousstory, Dan.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
So she bought me a lovely rod.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Anyway, she asked me a lovely rod.
Anyway, she asked me if I likedit and I said, of course, dear,
it's perfect.
As the day went on, I wonderedif I should ask her if she'd
kept the receipt and be honestwith her about my desire to have
the codpiece 4000 and not thesalmon snatcher 400.
After all, she said she wantedme to have the perfect gift and
(35:41):
the Salmon Snatcher wasn't whatI had wanted Over a nice supper
of cheese and crackers.
I was about to come clean, butbefore I could, mrs
No-It-All-Know said Dearesthusband, I'm so glad you like
your present.
I spoke to several differentshops about the best one to get
you, as I really wanted it to beperfect, as you've worked
(36:02):
tirelessly all year.
At that moment I knew this wasindeed the perfect rod.
It may not have the length andthe girth that I had hoped for
but it was bought with love andheart.
I never told her the rod was thewrong one because, quite
frankly, it wasn't.
So my advice is this If thegift comes from the heart, it is
(36:23):
the perfect gift.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
And you bought your wife a lawnmower, didn't?
Speaker 4 (36:30):
you?
No, daniel, we don't talk aboutlawnmowers.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
It's a very touchy subject.
That was a hard story to tell.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Very difficult.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Yes, I hope some listeners find the information
useful, very useful.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Thank you so much, no problem.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I'm going to go now and have a wee rest.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yes, have a restful wee.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
What happened there?
He looks a bit.
He looks like he had a goodlaugh and a good cry at the same
time.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah he did.
He's just talking about his rod.
He's talking about his rodagain.
Yeah, his rod and cod pieces.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
The cod pieces and the salmon snatcher.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
And salmon snatchers and the big boxes and rods and
boxes.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Yeah, he knows.
And the big boxes and rods andboxes, yeah, he knows it's.
It's hard mentioning sometimeswhen he talks he didn't talk
about his wife no, he didn'tvery much no he didn't really
mention her not too much ohthat's good, because sometimes
he gets very emotional when hetalks about his yeah, good old.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
What's his wife called Mo, isn't it not Mo?
No, anyway, anyway, bless herBless.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Her Rest in peace.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Anyways, rest in peace.
Peace I have.
Peace is yeah, oh, something'sDying through, something's Dying
through.
Oh, hello, hello, hello, hey,hello.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Hey, it's.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Michael, hello, mr Mr Van Gogh, hello, hello, hey,
hello, hey, it's Michael.
Hello, mr Mr Van Gogh.
Hello, hello, hello, hello,hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello, hello, hello,hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
How was Christmas?
How was the championship?
Speaker 4 (38:18):
I'm very sad, Dan.
I'm still very sad.
I have not got over the factthat I lost to Luke Little up in
the darts.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
You did very well, though I think.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
No, not in the final.
I did very well.
I was terrible, Dan Terrible.
I kept thinking about parties.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
But you know, a star is born every 17 years, so you
know.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
Yes, but he's too little, too little, too little
and I want to beat him in thedarts.
I'm not going to go in thislittle punk beating me.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I'm not happy yeah, I can't quite understand you,
michael.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
The accent's very strong boy, I talk more clearly
but yeah, that's lovely.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Um I I hear you've been in thailand.
You've been in thailandrecently on holiday.
You know you have yes, I was inthailand I tried to forget it
yeah, your instagram said you'rein thailand, um, but uh it's a
lookalike but alright, so youdid have a nice time then,
(39:25):
because you weren't there.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
I was in Thailand.
I tried to forget things,though, because of the darts I
love the darts.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I'm very annoyed fair enough, any first looks for you
, michael you're the first.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Any first looks for you, michael.
Well, we had a first look atLuke Lindner winning the Darts
Championship.
He won the world champion.
He won half a million pounds,and I won two to half a million
pounds because I needed to buy anew car.
My car's broken.
That's what.
If I play really well, I'm notgoing to have the money and then
I buy myself a car and then Ican drive nice places lovely but
(40:05):
, I, didn't.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
No, no, you did not, erm, so we've only got you
booked in for a very short timebecause the agent said er, it
cost a lot of money, time andmoney.
Speaker 4 (40:15):
Yeah, erm, any any final words any, I, yeah, any
any final words, any try andbeat me the doctor, I'm gonna
put you down.
I'm gonna bring the dots that.
Thank you, michael.
Thanks, it's the only thingthat gets me.
I love the note.
He's my favourite.
(40:37):
I knew his wife.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
We've not had many listeners from Holland actually.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
No, I would tell people.
I would tell people to listento the podcast and watch the
darts, listen to personal normsand watch the darts.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
More listeners from Taiwan and Pakistan than Holland
, but yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
Okay, done, I'm going to go now.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Alright, yeah, nice to speak to you.
Speaker 4 (41:02):
Well done.
Say hello to Craig.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Bye.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
Goodbye, what's up?
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Yeah, so, mr Todrickus, you didn't manage to
actually speak to Michael.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
He rang you, didn't he?
I can't hear what's going on inyour phone.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
No, it's true, Of course.
Of course, silly me.
What was he talking?
Speaker 3 (41:20):
about anything, you'll find out.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
You'll find out in episode 6 oh, very good, looking
forward to it but yeah, it wasvery good, very good.
So we'll end the series, notthe series, the episode.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
We're ending the series some people would love it
if it wasn't the end of theseries.
The bad joke, so I'm going togive you some context here.
For Christmas, brain got a jokebook.
Speaker 4 (41:50):
Yes, it's for 9-year-olds yes.
I'm reviewing it.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
I can say this I imagine it's the same book that
you get all your jokes from.
So I'm going to tell three andwe'll do a test.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
This is a bad joke, not bad jokes.
This is a bad joke.
This is seriously silly.
Oh, jokes for kids, silly jokes, not bad jokes, just silly
jokes.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Silly jokes.
They're your kind of jokes.
Well, I don't know what We'llsee.
We'll see.
See what you think, See if theymake you laugh.
Are Dan's jokes better than anine-year-old's?
Oh so, joke number one why dobees have sticky hair?
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Because Because they use a honeycomb.
Yay, this next one's, thisone's actually quite good.
This one genuinely made melaugh when I read it.
What do you call a pig thatknows karate?
A pig?
A pig that knows karate, as inoink oink, oink, oink, oink.
A pig that knows karate A pork?
Speaker 2 (42:48):
chop Oink, oink, oink , Oink, oink oink.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Oink, oink, oink.
And then last, what did thewolf say when he stubbed his toe
?
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
See, I'm after an audience.
It's probably your kind ofstupid humour.
Silly humour, silly humour.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
They're not bad jokes .
They're not like rude bad jokes.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
No, no, they're quite funny.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Yes, which weren't actually publishable at the end.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
What the ones from previously?
I'm not surprised.
They were very bad, very rude.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Oh dear, yeah, on the bad joke note.
So my boss, he hates it when Ishorten his name to Dick,
especially when his name isSteve.
So that's the end of theepisode.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
That's the end of the episode.
You're drunker than you werethree hours ago.
Yes, I am actually.
I can definitely tell.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
Yes, Well.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
I am actually.
I can definitely tell yes.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
We'll be able to tell on top Don't you hate it?
I hate it when my wife keepstelling me that I don't get it.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
I mean, what does that mean?
Very good, keep them coming,williams, keep them coming See
you in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Everyone, until next time.
Until next time, bye, bye.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Hello, I'm Julieie, I'm from manchester and, uh, I
work in accounts.
And tonight, matthew, I'm gonnabe madonna.
Grab a pint, pull up a toadstool and get ready to
giggle and groan with yourfavourite gnome crew.
Welcome to First Yook Gnomes,where the beers are stronger
than your dad's handshake andthe jokes are as bad as his puns
.
Your hosts Walliams and MrHodgkiss.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Welcome back, episode six.
Six bomb, six bomb.
You're a six bomb.
You can give it to me when Ipot along.
Six bomb, six bomb.
You're my six bomb.
Spotify, you can turn me on hey.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I was not expecting that that might be your best one
yet.
Six bomb, six bomb.
I'm going to be singing thatlater as I go to bed.
Six bomb, six bomb.
Oh, your wife is a lucky lady.
A for effort, wiles.
That was superb.
Thank you, wiles.
Welcome to episode six.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Hi everybody, I've actually run out of beer.
Sorry listeners, we've actuallyrun out of beer.
Sorry listeners, we've not runout of beer.
Starched a beer.
I've had a beer.
You've had a couple, I think.
Spoiler alert we've justrecorded episode five, so I've
had a beer already.
This is the same evening I'mgoing into the thirsty first
fridge again.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Go in there.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Do-do-do do, do, do, Do, do, do, do, do do.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
This is just the making of this podcast is just
really to help give validationto Dan trying lots and lots of
beers.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Basically, yeah.
So the reason for the podcaststarted it's just for an excuse
to make sure me and Mr Hodgkissspeak to each other at least
once a month.
But the hidden meaning was forme to make sure I drink new
beers.
And also, spoiler alert, I havebeen drinking already this
(02:00):
evening and Mr Hodgkiss has not.
Well, he has, but on the zero.
So I do apologize if there's adifference in quality between um
myself, mr hodgkiss thisevening don't worry, williams.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Last time we did this , uh, the episode that you
recorded after having drinksdidn't end up anywhere, so, um
no, so maybe we may ever hearthis anyway, so you wish.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
End of the day.
We've had a good time, that'sall that matters.
We're enjoying ourselves well.
I have anyway a lovely blackcamp north again, as, the same
as last episode, this is a ultraphase, an 8.4% you're going
stronger.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
That's a double IPA.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
isn't it a DIPA?
On episode 5, we didn't knowwhat double DH IPA was.
Isn't it A DIPA?
On episode five, we didn't knowwhat a double DH IPA was.
No, but a DIPA, I presume, is adouble IPA, which is a luscious
double IPA made with USA andAustralian hops.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Saturated in honeydew , melon, green grape and pink
grapefruit, flamed with alasting citrus finish.
Mr Hodgkins, you're the soberone.
Did I give the episode fivefirst to first a score?
You did not.
No, I did not.
I would give that a 8.5.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Wow, that's a lot of fingers.
It was a very good one.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Once again, this is vegan.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Lovely can good quality artwork.
Um, I have some.
Eat me as well.
Oh, you know what double d is?
I do, it's a double dry hoppedipa, a double dry hop.
Dry hopping is the process ofadding hops to beer after
fermentation, typically toenhance aroma and flavour
without adding bitterness.
Oh well, apparently you shouldexpect big, vibrant hop aromas
(03:53):
Think citrus, tropical fruit,pine or flora.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
That was the previous episode.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah, so this one's a .
Speaker 2 (03:59):
DIPA.
This is a double IPA, so thatmeans I think I've got a feeling
I might prefer a double D.
Okay, you said that before Lessof a Less of an impact on the
smell.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
I can't believe you're going Like just again
it's peaked behind the curtain.
It's 20 past 11 on a Saturdaynight and you're going for an
8.4% beer.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, I mean it's fairly smooth for an 8.4%, but
you can taste the alcohol more.
It's a.
I regret the decision 20 past11, drinking an 8.4%.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
You'll sleep well tonight, George.
You're going to hear lots ofstories.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
The wifey wife is not going to appreciate this and
she won't realise until theepisode comes out.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
And you are an editor , so you can always edit it out.
You can say, oh, the strengthof this beer is.
And then get the AI to say 2.6.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It's a 2.6.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
It's a glass of water , so how many fingers are you
giving this one?
Seven, oh so still a good scorethen yeah, it's a no, sorry
actually no hang on, hang on.
He takes this very seriously.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I do actually sorry back in.
I mean you could drink thoseand you'd be on the floor after
one.
Stay tuned to see if Wallycomes up.
I mean you could drink thoseand you'd be on the floor after
one.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Stay tuned to see if Wally comes up on the floor and
he'll probably try and play it.
If you listen to episode five,he might even fall down the
stairs.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I wasn't drunk.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
You will be tonight.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I'm only going to give it a seven because,
compared to the other beers,I've scored higher.
So a seven I think is quite.
I've scored higher, so a 7 Ithink is quite a decent score
still.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
It's a generous score .
Well done, north Brewery.
You've made some good ones, mrHodgkiss.
Feedback on the feedback Getthe rod out.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Oh, the rod is out, get it out.
We're going to the fish pond offeedback, fish pond of feedback
.
We've had a message through.
This episode will probablyrelease end of January, start of
February.
We've had a message throughfrom a Linda Carey saying Merry
(06:20):
Christmas, so apologies for thedelay.
Merry Christmas back, merryChristmas, so apologies for the
delay.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Oh, Merry Christmas back.
Merry Christmas Linda.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Ah, there's um.
There's something hanging offthe end of your tackle, oh dear
and uh, I'm not sure what thatis let's have a look, let's have
a look at the end of yourtackle.
An email.
Yeah, we've got an email fromthe fish pond feedback.
(06:51):
Lovely Subject line Honestfeedback, oh dear, is this from
your wife?
(07:12):
Good afternoon.
Is this from your wife?
Good afternoon.
As a relatively new listener toyour podcast, I relish the
opportunity to listen to eachnew episode as I and this is me
speaking here I think thequotation marks are important.
Okay, quotation marks WFH,which, as we know, is work from
home.
I relish the opportunity tolisten to each new episode as I
(07:38):
WFH.
I marvel at the way the two ofyou interact and I'm genuinely
surprised at the informativecontent you share with your
listeners Wow.
My only feedback would be thatthe two of you seem to be on
different levels in terms of thequality of humour and your
(07:58):
general banter.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Oh dear.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Williams, is it time you spread your wings, go it
alone and really make a name foryourself.
Couldn't agree more.
Don't let him hold you back.
Your friend and avid listener.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Morgz from Wally very good listeners to episode 5
will know Morgz.
He's one of the people whorequested one of those videos
that we talked about in episode5.
Go back and listen right to theend.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
How lovely to hear from Morgz yes, lovely to hear
from our Weybridge listener umnew listeners.
We actually it's um is that the?
Word?
What's the word?
What's the word?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
you're dumbfounded by the amount of people I'm
dumbfounded by the people thatactually people search.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Go to the podcast.
I'm dumbfounded by the peoplethat actually people search.
Go to our podcast and listen toit.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
So where are these new listeners?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
These new listeners are from, so we've got from
Bangor, Ards and North Down,which I believe is.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
That's by us, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Oh is it.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Bangor.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah Bangor yeah, yeah, bangor, yeah,
it's in between where I live,bangor.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Northern Newtownards.
Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Bangor, northern.
Oh okay, nice, okay.
Uh, lesser near you, busan,south Korea.
Ooh um, orillia in Ontario,which is a an old, somber guy of
mine, which, uh, one of myfellow canadians fellow
canadians, I'm not canadian, youknow what I mean one of your
(09:51):
old chums chesterfield,derbyshire and after the best
part of two seasons and nolisteners in africa.
And then we got, uh, cairo andegypt, it's all kicking Africa.
And then we've got Cairo inEgypt, it's all kicking off.
Mr Oshkiss, we've got a newlistener from Cape Town in South
Africa.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
No way yes, yes, way we're reaching all corners of
the globe here all corners ofthe globe.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Little quiz, mr Oshkiss little quiz.
Oh, I love a little quiz, mrOshkiss little quiz, just to
round off 2024.
Who are the top 5?
Not necessarily in order, but Iwant you to guess the top 5
countries that our gnomelisteners come to.
So, as in, where most listenerscome from the top 5 countries,
(10:45):
I expect you to get at leastthree out of five, and if you
think that's the three, I'll bedisappointed.
Okay.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Are we saying the UK is one country Correct, so the
UK Correct and Canada.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
And America.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Correct, that's three out of five and they are the
United Kingdom is first, theUnited States is second, canada
is third.
I kind of expect Canada to besecond.
The United States is second,after that Fourth or fifth most
popular listeners.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I'd probably say Australia, incorrect.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
No, all right, I'll give one more guess.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Let's go for the Republic of Ireland.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
No.
Pakistan and Taiwan.
Wow, number one, united Kingdom, number two United States.
Number three Canada.
Number four Pakistan.
Number five Taiwan.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Well, hello to everybody in those countries.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
So, yes, so thank you for our know me listeners from
2024 and, uh, those thatcontinue to listen in 2025 there
must be something better youcan do, listeners, but we're
great, we're great for you here.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Um, so my first look, uh, we recently went to see
Disney on Ice, which wasactually pretty good.
So we have a child who InBelfast, in Belfast, yeah, at
the arena.
So we have a child and a wifewho both like Disney, and we
(12:18):
have in-laws who also likeDisney.
So we, we have a wife, we, theroyal, we, I have a wife.
He's a big disney, he's a bigdisney freak.
yeah, um, I've married into adisney freak, um, but we were
these things a while ago and itwas great because I'm going to
sound like a proper dad here theprice of tickets for things
(12:40):
these days, but the?
Um, the tickets were reallyreasonably priced, like I think
they were like 20 somethingpounds each, which I thought was
pretty good for, like, a bigarena show.
Yeah, um.
So we took, uh, the in-laws andwe took my mother along as well
and we took brain and it was areally good show.
The it wasn't.
I'd.
I'd been to one before.
(13:01):
I took leslie ann to one in2010, and that was just trying
to win brainy points.
This was the first time I'dtaken my kid to it and it was
much better, I must admit, likethe show was.
I don't know if it's justbecause, as you say, I've been
indoctrinated into the world ofDisney now.
Yeah, but it was superb.
They had a big cast and theydid loads of stuff for the kids
(13:22):
and they got the crowd going andit was really good.
The only complaint I have andit's a big one so Brady Bunch,
so these arena shows, of courseit's Disney it's all about.
They want to make the money.
They want people indoctrinatedinto the brand so people become
lifelong fans and the lifetimevalue of that customer goes up
(13:43):
and et cetera, et cetera.
So what do they do?
So we go, and my mom's thereand his other grandma's there,
and they both say, oh, he's like, oh, he's 10 pounds.
They both give him 10 pounds,he's got 20 pounds to buy
himself and I get 20 pounds.
Good, um, so we go to the merchstand.
Is there anything there for 20pounds?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Is there anything there for 20?
Speaker 3 (14:05):
pounds, is there not?
So he wanted this hook.
It's a.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Maui hook like just a plastic hook as in like Captain
.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Hook no from Moana.
You know the rock.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
He has like a hook, a fish hook.
I'm out of touch, listeners,I'm out of touch.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Well, all this is is a piece of plastic right it's
like something you get fromBlackpool for two pounds and
they wanted how much?
Do you think this thing waswell?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
this is more than 20, which is ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
It was more than 20 25 more.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, what for a hook .
So what Describe?
You know what?
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I'll send you a picture.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Are we talking plastic Like plastic plastic?
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Plastic.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I'm talking sort of handcrafted.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
I've just seen one on eBay for a lot less than I'm
paying for it, so let me copythis image and send this to you.
This is all.
It is just a plastic hook.
Can you see that?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I can, and that's plastic, I mean that looks
engraved and all sorts therethat looks.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
No, it's just that'd be, it's not it's not like a 3d
printer type job, no, but well,a bit better than a 3d printer,
like a toy it's just a littletoy, a plastic hook 33 pounds
and I was like okay, and thenthey had other things.
(15:38):
I sound like a right tight asshere, but like some of the stuff
they had on sale was was like.
I was like, okay, so the ticketswere reasonably priced, but the
merch and of course all thekids had to have the merch and
all the colors, and I was like,wow, that's where they made all
the money.
I mean, duh, it was so.
(15:58):
That was my only grumble wasthe amount of parents who had
gone there to take the kids in.
This is reasonable.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
And they get stung for all, because everything
there is like yeah, of courseand every if.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
If you see another kid with one, it's like, well,
why can't I have it?
So you, everybody want, nobodywants to be like.
You know you can't have it to akid when you take them for a
nice day, yeah so he ended up.
He ended up getting the hookand to be fair, he has got it.
He's put it up in his room andhe does like it and other than
the price of that, the showitself was incredible.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
The people who were doing the ice skating was
incredible.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
The stunts they did the show I would.
If anybody has kids and he'slike, oh, this is probably a bit
, I can highly recommend it fora afternoon out.
Um, I was well impressed.
That was my first look atWalliams.
Disney on ice Gets a thumbs up.
(16:50):
I have a little one that I wasgoing to do.
I don't want to beconversational on this, but I
have to ask Walliams becauseI've never watched this.
I've heard about it but I'venever watched it.
Tonight I caught about 20minutes of it and I was like
what is what is this?
What?
What is it?
The mass singer?
Like what?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
what is it if it was squeezed down to 20 minutes?
Yeah, probably a good show, butno it, um it.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
It made my toes curl I was watching you've got like,
you've got jonathan ross anddavina mccall and they're all
kind of dancing and making theseweird comments and it wasn't
funny.
New series, or it must be.
Yeah, it must be new series.
Yeah, it was, we were justflicking, we were just having.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah, we're not yeah, we tried it when it first came
out, the first series and thepremise it was good, but it just
did so much trying to build uplike drum roll, yeah, and then
repeat what they just said, andthen like repeat what they said
again, yeah, beat it and thendrum roll and then it's just
yeah, it's massively popularthough like people love it.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, no, we can't get into it, but me neither yeah
, I like the idea, if you're afan tell us what we're missing,
like if anyone's a fan out thereof the show and write it to
first at noam's first at noam'soutlookcom.
tell us what we're missing, tellus why we should be getting
into it.
And maybe we're just too oldand cynical.
Maybe you have to be more likewoo, yeah, and just throw
(18:22):
yourself into it.
But I just, I just couldn't getinto it.
I was like what is it?
And they were like no.
I was like not for me, no, no,over Christmas we actually went
back and watched.
I mean this is quite sad.
Again, we're talking aboutretro and I found out something.
There's a Northern Irishmancalled Foy Vance and he was on
Stars in the Rise, foy V and hewas on stars in the rise for
(18:49):
events and he was on stars inthe rise before he was famous.
So that sent us down an oldstars in the rise rabbit hole on
youtube and I mean, if I'msaying the mass singer is bad,
stars in the rise was flippingawful like watching it back, I
was like how was this primetime?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
tv.
That was the the missed.
Then I'm going to be that oneTonight Matthew.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
I'm going to be Madonna Tonight, matthew.
Yeah, so one of the ones wewatched was Madonna and this
woman comes out hello, I'm Julie.
I'm from Manchester.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
And I work at McHouse .
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Tonight, matthew, I'm going to be Madonna and she
comes out, sounds nothing likeMadonna, absolutely nothing like
her.
Can't dance like madonna,doesn't sound like madonna.
And then it was like there wasso many bad ones.
A guy come out and we came outas billy joel.
He said other than he sung asong.
That was the only thing he hadin common with billy joel.
(19:41):
He didn't sound anything like Ithink standards were.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I think standards were less it was so bad.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
It was so bad.
I'm trying to think of some ofthe ones we watched.
There were maybe one or two whowere like, oh, actually that's
a pretty good impression, butthey made a whole show out of
tribute acts.
Oh dear, it was really funnywatching it back.
When you look back at it, youthink, oh, stars and Rises was
brilliant.
And then funny watching it backand thinking, you know, when
you look back at it you think,oh, your stars are always
(20:07):
brilliant.
And then you watch back likehow was?
Speaker 2 (20:11):
it brilliant and that would have been prime time tv
as well oh 100 especially whenwe had what four or five
channels, that would have beenprobably 12, 12 million viewers
well, I wonder if Braden nowcause he got into it.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
He was like oh yeah, I'm a singer, so I wonder like
when he's older he'll be like oh, when we were kids we had all
the great shows like the MaskedSinger, and then he'll go on his
YouTube and watching go.
Actually, the Masked Singer wasa bit shit and that first look
for me.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
So a little bit of a first look for me, but a first
look for Logan, but a topic areathat I used to watch as a kid.
But now it's a whole new world.
It's a whole new world.
Thomas the Tank Engine, thomasthe Tank Engine, thomas the Tank
(21:04):
Engine was a favourite of mine,but you know we're talking
1980s, early 1990s and it'schanged so much since then, but
also probably when we watched it.
It's obviously changed a lotbecause it's a 1940s idea.
(21:25):
Yeah so Thomas Tank Engine,logan is.
It's obviously changed a lotbecause it's a 1940s idea.
Yeah, so Thomas tank engine.
Um, logan is he's.
He's fully into trains.
He loves Thomas tank engine,which I'm partly obviously
mentioned what's the grommet,and that's my.
Yeah, growing up and he enjoyedthat.
He's in the Thomas tank engineas well, so that's win-win.
(21:45):
So yes, he likes thomas tankengine and post and pat nice um,
but um, yeah, so, thomas, thankyou.
So first look for logan atthomas tank engine, but first
look for me as well in terms ofall the new characters.
Then, just so, and forchristmas.
So we got him the and I mustadmit it's partly for me, but
(22:07):
the old, basically the oldoriginal um, book set box set,
book set box set, I don't know.
But basically yeah, the original27 books of thomas tank engine.
Um, but he loves them.
Yeah, it's very, it's verywordy, and there's that one.
So you got quite a few words,one picture, and he'll just
(22:28):
stare at that one picture forages whilst you're reading all
the yeah it must be the way it'swritten and a little bit like a
train go along, so it repeatsitself.
Yeah, um and um, logan's verymuch.
Um, he says choo-choo, now hesays chugga-chugga.
Um, you know he's fully intohis trains and at christmas time
(22:52):
he got train sets and he justloves.
He loves trains, though percypercy's one of his favorites,
and percy is old school percy'slike one of the, the ogs, um,
but he's also one of hisfavorites is nia.
So Nia is a new ones and Nia'sfrom Kenya.
Nia's orange and colorful, butthere's, there's, there's so
(23:12):
much, so it's 19 to this box set.
We got Thomas, a tank engine,1940s, so you know.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh, 84 years ago, 85 years ago, yeah, and not too bad
when you read it so far.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
So I've only read up to book 8 so far.
The original 27 books yeah andapart from the fat controller,
there's nothing too like youwouldn't really say that these
days, I think yeah, um, but umyou haven't got to cancel,
thomas no, they're just good andit's just good honest.
(23:52):
A bit like the old watsongrommets it's just good, honest
charm yeah um, there's, uh,there's.
There's new characters now.
So there's kena, which I don'tlike.
Kena, uh, logan's nanny is nota fan of kena.
The electric train, no, no, noelectric, the good old-fashioned
(24:13):
steam trains.
So with the original originaland from what I remember of
thomas tank engine, um, it feltlike a bit like post and pat
where I was, like in inyorkshire or somewhere, some
random village or something.
There's new episodes now whichare quite american.
There's like american versionsof it yeah, thomas can fly and
(24:37):
things and there's like, and thetheme tunes like go, go go,
thomas, go go go, and it's alljust over the top, too colorful
Too, um toys.
Yeah, and a bit like the newpost and pack.
It's like special deliveryservice, whereas I don't know
(25:01):
there's something to be saidabout the old school.
So Thomas the Tank EnginePostman Pat in Yorkshire going
through the old Yorkshire Dalesand just chugging along and
choo-choo-choo and Farming.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Sound as well.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Yeah, farming Sound Postman Pat, for instance, would
pop in, have a cup, cup of tea,speak to the person he's
delivering to and then crack up,whereas now it's just like go,
go, go deliver.
It's all about speed, and so Ithink my bigger picture is mr
logic is is this affecting ourkids these days, these cartoon
(25:37):
quick, quick, quick add into theanxiety and the stress?
Speaker 3 (25:43):
and no, of course it's not, I don't think so.
Anyway, the we had, so we we'vebeen through this very similar
you gave we're going through.
Williams is very normal verynormal to be expected and I can
confirm and concur that bradenwas exactly the same trump
thomas mad postman pat mad lovedit when they combined it.
(26:07):
So in postman pat you got thepencaster flyer, if memory
serves me correct, and the uh,the pencaster rocket and the
pencaster flyer, which are twotrains that feature in.
Okay, oh rare one, christmas.
He asked for a pencaster fly, atoy, let's get it second hand.
And we had to drive an hour anda half away to pick this thing
up.
That's a different story foranother podcast, um, but it's
(26:29):
quite normal because obviouslyyou've got such strong memories
and bonds with the show yourself.
But when you, you know to thekids, like brain would would
often say like if I tried tomake him watch the old thomas
now we had, he was out, he'dgrown out of thomas before they
went really cartoony, um, so wehad the kind of 3d versions,
thomas and friends, which, um,still a lot of classic
(26:52):
characters, but we're stillpretty good, like the channel 5,
pretty good.
Now the cartoon version whereit's like go, go, go, and like
you say, there's it's all thomasand friends from around the
world and there's movies.
It's like go, go, go, and likeyou say, it's all Thomas and
Friends from around the worldand there's movies.
It's like, well, okay, this isjust too much.
It's not as I wouldn't.
I was like, ooh, I like the oldone, but that's just because
you're on this.
No charm, but that's justbecause of our nostalgic
(27:12):
approach.
Logan will tell you what helikes the most.
Does he like it?
Which one doesn't he like?
You know we.
It's hard sometimes because youwant to try and steer your kids
into things you like.
I tried so hard to get brain towatch.
I bought the turtle teenagemutant, ninja turtles, yeah
series, once for couldn't streaman ms.
I bought on dvd again.
Oh, let's watch.
(27:33):
This is brilliant 10 minutesand he's like he's rubbish dad.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I don't want to watch this like I want to go watch
something.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Yeah, it's whatever like there's new programs that
the kids are going to watch andnow have exactly.
God willing, they will haveexactly the same kind of
conversation about.
You know that thomas, and in thenew version of thomas and the
postman special delivery service, rather than just postman pat,
you know, it's just it's.
(28:00):
You think about our parents,right?
Some of the, some of the shitmy old man would say like he
used to watch, like jamie andhis magic torch and the magic
roundabout and the was it theherbs?
Like sage, and I remember mrben, you watch.
If my dad ever tried to make mewatch that I'd be like shut up.
I want to watch Danger Mouse.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, you know, oh, danger Mouse, yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
So even Danger Mouse has had a facelift.
Yeah, but like what we watchedInspector, gadget and stuff like
that our kids would be likewell, I learned to tosh what our
parents watched, we would haveprobably just turned our noses
up.
Okay, this is what the kids areinto.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
And, uh, hard though still, just, you know,
occasionally just force him tobut so far he is enjoying the
old school thomas oh, that'sgood as well as the new stuff
that's good, and it's good foryou as well, because you enjoy
it as well yeah yeah, makes it alot easier so yeah, so first
look at the, the new th, the oldThomas.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Old Thomas is better, the next generation, if you.
So I remember there's.
There's a video of cause.
Obviously you and I like ACDC.
There's a song called rock androll train and somebody has put
old school Thomas video overrock and roll train and it's
very funny.
Brian thinks it's the funniestthing in the world.
So, if you, I don't think it'sjust funny brain things, it's
(29:20):
the funniest thing in the world.
Okay, if you, I don't thinkit's funny, but he finds it very
funny.
So rock and roll train versusThomas the Tank Engine yeah,
enjoyable.
Stop give me a ring, see if yousee if you can get my chemical
chemical chemical.
See what happens a chemical yougotta do number.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yeah, I do one second let me just, I'll give him a
call.
Give him a call and see whathappens.
I'll give him a call.
You've got to give him a number, haven't you?
I do One second.
Let me just give him a call.
What's his number?
There?
It is 077-054-321.
Hopefully no one's listening tothis 3-2-1-double-double-zero.
(30:02):
Here we go.
It's phoning.
Oh, hello, hello, hello, darts,yet darts, yet, yeah, darts,
he's on the way.
He's on the way he said.
Is he coming?
Is he coming on the way he said?
on the way.
Darts, darts on the way.
Oh very, oh, very good, so he'son the way he's okay.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Well, why are you waiting for him?
Should I go and see if I know,or know him once?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
I'm gonna have a chat yeah, I mean, what an episode,
no or no, and potentiallymichael van gogh and coming in.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Well, why not?
All right?
Um cool right, I'm gonna go,I'll go and see.
Oh my god who's?
Here.
Who's here who?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
is not both of them, is it both of them?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
no, just a no or no that would be a lesson, no or no
.
Interviewing michael vangerling yes, well, I've got to
go because I need to give up myseat.
Hang on, all right, you're allright.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Oh, hello hey no or no how you doing, I'm doing all
right, thank you how?
Speaker 4 (30:58):
are you?
Are you doing Good?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
good, yeah, not too bad.
Not too bad.
I was just thinking wouldn't itbe lovely if Mr Hodgkiss, the
Nail or Gnome and Michael VanGerwen were in the same room?
That would be.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
That would be a very busy room.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
It would be a busy room, but not to be, not to be.
How are you doing right?
Speaker 4 (31:19):
I'm okay.
Yes, I am very cold at theminute.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
It's very tough to me , yeah, tough to me.
Winter tough to me becauseyou're predominantly outside.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Well, I'm here today because I, if you remember, Dan,
I did actually speak to you onepisode four.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
You did, you did.
Is that the one we recorded ornot?
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Yes, you did.
Is that the one we recorded ornot?
Yes, it was.
No, we didn't record it before.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
We recorded it.
It just never saw the light ofday.
No, it did not, it's becausesomebody forgot to press play
and record.
So I'm here today because thelisteners have probably missed
me and I thought it would be agood idea to come and continue
my series on helping people withtheir relationships.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yes, relationship advice, wasn't it?
Yes, yes, and we had a request.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
We've had a request from a listener who wants to
know From.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Weybridge how do?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
you tell your partner From Weybridge or where they're
from?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
No, no, this person is from Bangor, okay, bangor.
We've had a question that saidhow do you tell your partner?
Speaker 4 (32:27):
the gift they got you isn't quite the right one, oh
dear.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
And I thought this was because of the New.
Year.
Yes, like a Christmas gift or abirthday gift.
It doesn't specify, but Iunderstand that this is a very
Sensitive matter and one I'veexperienced Myself.
So I thought I'd tell you inthe listeners a story About me
and my beloved wife FromChristmas many moons ago, before
(32:53):
she was Shattered and destroyedby the lawnmower.
Yes, yes, on the road toChristmas I've been dropping a
few Hints about needing afishing rod.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
Subtle things, subtle things like leaving Gnome
Fishing Weekly open on theadvert for the local rod shop
and complaining about the rod Ihad, yes, well, on Christmas
morning, my good wife, theRodmas 2000,.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
that's a good one.
Speaker 4 (33:19):
No, I don't want the Rodmas 2000,.
Do we need to?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
No.
On Christmas morning my goodwife presented me with a lovely
long box and I knew right thenShe'd gotten, she Whoops.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
She displayed her box .
Speaker 3 (33:45):
she displayed her box , alright, okay and yeah, it was
a shoulder and and I knew she'dgotten the hint.
Hmm, as I took a look in thebox, and only we should gotten
the hint, hmm, as I took a lookin the box, hmm.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Hmm, I put a box in the box.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I mean sorry, it was indeed a fishing rod, but she'd
gotten me the salmon snatcher400.
There was a rod in the box,brand new rod in the box, and
she'd gotten me the salmonsnatcher 400 the salmon snatcher
, the salmon snatcher 400.
(34:50):
When I had my heart set on thecodpiece 4000.
So as she hugged me and askedif I liked what I saw in her box
, I of course said Is thecodpiece the box?
Speaker 2 (35:06):
No.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
No, she's got me the salmon snatcher.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
I wanted the codpiece .
The codpiece was in her box no.
So, this is a very seriousstory, Dan.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
So she bought me a lovely rod.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Anyway, she asked me a lovely rod.
Anyway, she asked me if I likedit and I said, of course, dear,
it's perfect.
As the day went on, I wonderedif I should ask her if she'd
kept the receipt and be honestwith her about my desire to have
the codpiece 4000 and not thesalmon snatcher 400.
After all, she said she wantedme to have the perfect gift and
(35:41):
the Salmon Snatcher wasn't whatI had wanted Over a nice supper
of cheese and crackers.
I was about to come clean, butbefore I could, mrs
No-It-All-Know said Dearesthusband, I'm so glad you like
your present.
I spoke to several differentshops about the best one to get
you, as I really wanted it to beperfect, as you've worked
(36:02):
tirelessly all year.
At that moment I knew this wasindeed the perfect rod.
It may not have the length andthe girth that I had hoped for
but it was bought with love andheart.
I never told her the rod was thewrong one because, quite
frankly, it wasn't.
So my advice is this If thegift comes from the heart, it is
(36:23):
the perfect gift.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
And you bought your wife a lawnmower, didn't?
Speaker 4 (36:30):
you?
No, daniel, we don't talk aboutlawnmowers.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
It's a very touchy subject.
That was a hard story to tell.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Very difficult.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Yes, I hope some listeners find the information
useful, very useful.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Thank you so much, no problem.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I'm going to go now and have a wee rest.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yes, have a restful wee.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
What happened there?
He looks a bit.
He looks like he had a goodlaugh and a good cry at the same
time.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah he did.
He's just talking about his rod.
He's talking about his rodagain.
Yeah, his rod and cod pieces.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
The cod pieces and the salmon snatcher.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
And salmon snatchers and the big boxes and rods and
boxes.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Yeah, he knows.
And the big boxes and rods andboxes, yeah, he knows it's.
It's hard mentioning sometimeswhen he talks he didn't talk
about his wife no, he didn'tvery much no he didn't really
mention her not too much ohthat's good, because sometimes
he gets very emotional when hetalks about his yeah, good old.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
What's his wife called Mo, isn't it not Mo?
No, anyway, anyway, bless herBless.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Her Rest in peace.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Anyways, rest in peace.
Peace I have.
Peace is yeah, oh, something'sDying through, something's Dying
through.
Oh, hello, hello, hello, hey,hello.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
Hey, it's.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Michael, hello, mr Mr Van Gogh, hello, hello, hey,
hello, hey, it's Michael.
Hello, mr Mr Van Gogh.
Hello, hello, hello, hello,hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello, hello, hello,hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
How was Christmas?
How was the championship?
Speaker 4 (38:18):
I'm very sad, Dan.
I'm still very sad.
I have not got over the factthat I lost to Luke Little up in
the darts.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
You did very well, though I think.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
No, not in the final.
I did very well.
I was terrible, Dan Terrible.
I kept thinking about parties.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
But you know, a star is born every 17 years, so you
know.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
Yes, but he's too little, too little, too little
and I want to beat him in thedarts.
I'm not going to go in thislittle punk beating me.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I'm not happy yeah, I can't quite understand you,
michael.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
The accent's very strong boy, I talk more clearly
but yeah, that's lovely.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Um I I hear you've been in thailand.
You've been in thailandrecently on holiday.
You know you have yes, I was inthailand I tried to forget it
yeah, your instagram said you'rein thailand, um, but uh it's a
lookalike but alright, so youdid have a nice time then,
(39:25):
because you weren't there.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
I was in Thailand.
I tried to forget things,though, because of the darts I
love the darts.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I'm very annoyed fair enough, any first looks for you
, michael you're the first.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Any first looks for you, michael.
Well, we had a first look atLuke Lindner winning the Darts
Championship.
He won the world champion.
He won half a million pounds,and I won two to half a million
pounds because I needed to buy anew car.
My car's broken.
That's what.
If I play really well, I'm notgoing to have the money and then
I buy myself a car and then Ican drive nice places lovely but
(40:05):
, I, didn't.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
No, no, you did not, erm, so we've only got you
booked in for a very short timebecause the agent said er, it
cost a lot of money, time andmoney.
Speaker 4 (40:15):
Yeah, erm, any any final words any, I, yeah, any
any final words, any try andbeat me the doctor, I'm gonna
put you down.
I'm gonna bring the dots that.
Thank you, michael.
Thanks, it's the only thingthat gets me.
I love the note.
He's my favourite.
(40:37):
I knew his wife.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
We've not had many listeners from Holland actually.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
No, I would tell people.
I would tell people to listento the podcast and watch the
darts, listen to personal normsand watch the darts.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
More listeners from Taiwan and Pakistan than Holland
, but yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
Okay, done, I'm going to go now.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Alright, yeah, nice to speak to you.
Speaker 4 (41:02):
Well done.
Say hello to Craig.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Bye.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
Goodbye, what's up?
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Yeah, so, mr Todrickus, you didn't manage to
actually speak to Michael.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
He rang you, didn't he?
I can't hear what's going on inyour phone.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
No, it's true, Of course.
Of course, silly me.
What was he talking?
Speaker 3 (41:20):
about anything, you'll find out.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
You'll find out in episode 6 oh, very good, looking
forward to it but yeah, it wasvery good, very good.
So we'll end the series, notthe series, the episode.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
We're ending the series some people would love it
if it wasn't the end of theseries.
The bad joke, so I'm going togive you some context here.
For Christmas, brain got a jokebook.
Speaker 4 (41:50):
Yes, it's for 9-year-olds yes.
I'm reviewing it.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
I can say this I imagine it's the same book that
you get all your jokes from.
So I'm going to tell three andwe'll do a test.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
This is a bad joke, not bad jokes.
This is a bad joke.
This is seriously silly.
Oh, jokes for kids, silly jokes, not bad jokes, just silly
jokes.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Silly jokes.
They're your kind of jokes.
Well, I don't know what We'llsee.
We'll see.
See what you think, See if theymake you laugh.
Are Dan's jokes better than anine-year-old's?
Oh so, joke number one why dobees have sticky hair?
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Because Because they use a honeycomb.
Yay, this next one's, thisone's actually quite good.
This one genuinely made melaugh when I read it.
What do you call a pig thatknows karate?
A pig?
A pig that knows karate, as inoink oink, oink, oink, oink.
A pig that knows karate A pork?
Speaker 2 (42:48):
chop Oink, oink, oink , Oink, oink oink.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Oink, oink, oink.
And then last, what did thewolf say when he stubbed his toe
?
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
See, I'm after an audience.
It's probably your kind ofstupid humour.
Silly humour, silly humour.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
They're not bad jokes .
They're not like rude bad jokes.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
No, no, they're quite funny.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Yes, which weren't actually publishable at the end.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
What the ones from previously?
I'm not surprised.
They were very bad, very rude.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Oh dear, yeah, on the bad joke note.
So my boss, he hates it when Ishorten his name to Dick,
especially when his name isSteve.
So that's the end of theepisode.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
That's the end of the episode.
You're drunker than you werethree hours ago.
Yes, I am actually.
I can definitely tell.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
Yes, Well.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
I am actually.
I can definitely tell yes.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
We'll be able to tell on top Don't you hate it?
I hate it when my wife keepstelling me that I don't get it.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
I mean, what does that mean?
Very good, keep them coming,williams, keep them coming See
you in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Everyone, until next time.
Until next time, bye, bye.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Hello, I'm Julieie, I'm from manchester and, uh, I
work in accounts.
And tonight, matthew, I'm gonnabe madonna.
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