Fortnite for Parents – Center Parcs Chaos & First-Time E-Bikes

 A candid chat on keeping kids safe (and sane) in Fortnite, our Center Parcs getaway, plus what we learned test-riding electric bikes 

We're back for series four with a packed episode covering digital parenting challenges, family holiday adventures, and hilarious mishaps with new technology.

• Navigating Fortnite as a parent – understanding parental controls, monitoring online interactions, and setting boundaries
• A 10-year-old's perspective on Fortnite gaming, including insights on different game modes and social dynamics
• Center Parcs Longleat review – swimming adventures, wildlife encounters, and tips for getting the best value
• The safari park experience, including monkeys stealing car parts and 110 registration plates collected in one week
• First time on an e-bike resulting in a crash into nettles, but proving worth the adventure despite the mishap
• Japanese matcha Kit Kats tasting in the new "Pints and First Bites" segment

Keep sending in your international snacks for review and feedback to [e-mail]!

Click here via your Mobile Device to send us a message!

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Help grow the show !

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Fortnite for parents Center Park's chaos and
first-time e-bikes.
Welcome to First Look Gnomes,where curiosity about what's new
meets the chaos of two dads.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm Mr Hodgkiss and that's Mr Walliams.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
From first-time finds to dad fails and listener
laughs.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
So grab a beer or pop the kettle on and let's take a
first look at pretty muchanything.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Series four, episode One more part along the world, I
go.
One more part along the world.
I go From the first looks tothe new.
Keep me partying along with you.
And it's from the old I travelto the new, to the new.

(00:55):
Keep me partying along with you.
New series, fourth series.
We are back.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
We are back, we are back thank you, what a great
little intro.
That just takes me right backto my kind of primary school
days and singing in assembly inthe morning.
I thought I'd take it.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I thought I'd take it down.
Take it down a note from the.
You know I hate you right nowand lose yourself and all that
stuff.
So yeah, yeah yeah, bring itdown a bit so can I ask?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
can I make one comment about the lyrics, though
?
He said from the first looks tothe new, the first looks, not
the new well, the the old firstlook.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
So our series one to three the old first looks.
These are the new first looksoh, got you.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
So from the old first looks to the new first looks is
what you meant.
Yes, I'm just stupid.
I didn't get that.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Sorry, I just thought you made a boo-boo no, not at
all, and I got the rhythm wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
I was like I know, for somebody who has such
natural rhythm like you, I wassurprised at that but you know,
yeah, not not my best, you don'tuse this, it was excellent.
Thank you, it brought a smileto my face anyway, how are you,
mr Archkiss?
But no, we've been good.
Yeah, we've had a lot going on,so we had my dad rank yesterday
.
Oh, hang on, someone's justinterrupted the part.

(02:21):
Hello Ray, we're in the middleof recording.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
I the hello right where the Miller record I was
coming to get you.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
We literally recorded it.
We're just in the middle record.
We're just talking about thingsthat would lie.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
I could.
You can start now you can.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
We're going to have to cut this bit out.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Oh no, this is gold.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Hang on, I'm going to have to unplug the headphones.
Ah, brady Bunch, I said I wascoming to get you from the house
when it was time.
Yeah, but like you couldn'thold your water, could you?
Are you recording?
The podcast yes, we'rerecording the podcast.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Testing, testing can you hear us Testing testing.
Can you hear us Testing testingOne, two, three.
I can hear you loud and clear.
Hello Walliams.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
It was your fault, I agree.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Sorry I thought you would still be chatting.
So we were at the point whereyou'd said, and I said, oh, may,
summer has gone.
Oh yes, I was about to tell youOkay.
So here's the cut.
Okay, ready three two, one.
So yeah, and then last night wehad my, we had my dad around for
dinner.
Him and my mom came around fordinner and he opened the door

(03:37):
and he looked like he'd beenbeaten up by mike tyson.
So his face was all smashed andI'm like, dad, what have you
done?
It's fallen over a plant pot inthe garden, right?

Speaker 3 (03:45):
so we had all these balls on.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
I was like you, okay, have you hurt yourself?
He's like I'm fine, I'm fine,I'm just gonna have to have an
extra whiskey tonight, so yeahthere was that going on so we're
, it was fine.
Look, I mean, he's very luckyreally um and obviously, with la
being a nurse, she kept whenshe got home she checked him
over and I was like no, no, it'sall super clean.
But he looked really sore.
He'd moved a pot in the garden,turned around, moved a pot got

(04:10):
another pot, forgot where it wasturned around, tripped over the
pot that he had, and landed onhis face, I was like oh, bloody
hell.
Dad, but he's all right.
What else have we been doing?
We've just been very busy,williams, very busy with work
and life, but it's it's all good, how about you?

Speaker 1 (04:28):
how's things with you ?
Good, good and well.
I'd uh, I thought I'd treatmyself over the break oh, yeah,
I bought a first aid kit.
Yeah, nice always good to have.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Uh, yeah, very successful.
I got actually I got called up.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
I got called up to be a small speaking part in the uh
, the c-quarter.
Always good to have, yeah, verysuccessful.
I got, actually I got called up.
I got called up to be a smallspeaking part in the sequel to
Cocaine Bear no way.
I only have one line very goodno, I've not actually seen that
film, though me neither.

(05:02):
I tried to watch NeverendingStory, but I couldn't finish it.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Oh dear.
So, Brayden, just to remind you, your godfather makes terrible
jokes during this podcast.
He just spends most of his timedoing dad jokes, really bad
ones, which always make me laugh, though, and groan and
sometimes groan.
Mostly laugh, though.
The listeners do love them,that's for sure.
That is true.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, well, we get some good things, those in Laos
anyway that's true that is trueapparently he laughed on the
last episode apparently helaughed he did.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
If you're going to talk, you have to come up to the
microphone, so this is going tobe a great editing job for you
to do, walliams and that's whythe next episode isn't released
until next month it's like twomonths to edit the podcast, um,
but oh well, so, um so one ofthe new things which goes

(05:59):
straight into first looks yeah,okay, compose yourself, we do
have I do have a first look.
This is today's first look isone that we have a guest.
So, um, my son is joining ustoday because we're going to
talk about something.
That was a first look as aparent, which gave me nightmares

(06:20):
.
So we're trying to.
We are kind of combining afirst look, a guest and tips for
dad today.
Wow so we are series openerspecial series over special, but
I think it's something that alot of parents which tends to be
most people listening to ourpodcast will either come across
or have come across, so Ithought we'd talk about it.

(06:42):
So my first look was allowingmy son to play fortnight, which
is probably a lot of parentsworst nightmare.
Like, okay, the kids want toplay fortnight.
What is fortnight?
Should I let my kids playfortnight?
There's a lot of people talkingabout fortnight.
Why do they want to spend allmy money?
Have the kids just spent 500pounds on my?

Speaker 3 (07:04):
credit card.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
I thought it was free .
So I said this is it.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
You see, it is free, so I'm gonna start the beginning
well.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
So fortnite right for those who don't know, it's a.
It's a game that you play withall kinds of people across the
globe.
You get a map and there's like100 odd people or so in this
game and they're all trying tosurvive and you build stuff and
you go looting and you can fightwith people.
Um, and it's yeah, it'scontroversial because it's

(07:34):
massive, everybody wants to playit and it is free.
But it's not really freebecause once you're in it, you
have to pay for things likeskins, and they have their own
currency called vbooks.
So all the parents around theworld are probably sick of being
asked oh, I need some vbooks, Iwant to buy this new skin, I
need a new emote, give me somemoney, and it's one of those

(07:57):
things that you're like it's,it's a bit of a minefield.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
So a lot of parents are just, um, I don't know, they
want to avoid it or they justsay yes, if you want your
character to dress like darthvader I think I saw that then
you pay extra for being darthvader yeah, and it's not.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
It's a bit like it's one of these games where it's
not just one game.
There's a load of other gamesas well in it.
So when you open up fortnight,it's not just like, oh, we're
just playing this one version ofthe game.
There's loads of other games init that, and some of them are
just created by people who playfortnight.
So there are people are allowedto.
If you play fortnight, you cango in and create your own

(08:35):
versions of games, and some ofthem are just not like.
It's like you and me creating agame and inviting people to
play to it, but it's notnecessarily monitored that well
either.
So there's all kinds ofcharacters, can you?
well you can.
So that that's why a lot ofparents are kind of terrified
about it, and I must admit I wasdefinitely one of those parents
who was like no chance, you'refar too young, I'm not getting,

(08:57):
I'm not letting you go into thatkind of world because I can't
really monitor that well, no, sowe got to the point where, in
our circumstances, that the peerpressure was getting kicked in
all the kids at school playingfortnight, my best friend to
play at fortnight, I want toplay fortnight.
And I was like nope, nope, nope,nope, to the point where I was
like, all right, I betteractually properly engage in what

(09:20):
this game is.
And is it safe for brain toplay fortnight?
What should I be worried about?
So I then was like, right, I'vegot to spend hours now
researching, you know, playingit myself, seeing what it's like
and making a parental decision.
Um, so yeah, I'm here to kindof today to talk about what I
decided and what I found and tryand help other parents maybe

(09:42):
decide whether they want to lettheir kids play fortnight or not
.
And we've brought Brayden in,who is playing Fortnite, to give
a kid's perspective on what itactually is what is the verdict.
So, in a nutshell, allow them toplay it with massive parental
controls.
You have to spend some time init yourself, as a parent.

(10:02):
Don't let them go in blind.
Don't just say yes and let themgo free roaming in it, because
there is a lot of stuff that youdon't want them seeing.
There's an age restriction on alot of it for a for good reason
.
Um, for example, the daf.
They've released a thing calleddarth vader ai where you can
talk to darth vader, so thefirst thing they did was try and
get darth vader to swear andall this kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, I think I read about that.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah.
So there's a lot of people onthere you have to control, I
think, who your kids play with.
So the parental control.
Now this is where one thingFortnite is really good at the
parental controls are reallythorough.
You can really control whatyour kids are allowed to play,
what they're allowed to do, whothey're allowed to talk to,
where they're allowed to talk toanybody at all.

(10:45):
So there are options where youcan just block all communication
so the kids can't talk toanybody and they can't add
friends themselves.
So I have a pin blocker.
So if anyone sends Brayden afriend request, it's me.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
You have to accept it or decline it.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
So you can be like okay, so I know that that's his
friend, james or dave or whoever, and I can accept those.
And then I know that one that'slike jimmy saville.
No, I don't want that, I don'twant that guy on.
So, no, say no to him, um, andyeah, so, and then you can
control the money as well.
So obviously, the things youcan purchase on there, but you
as a parent you have, you canadd funds or you know, so you

(11:25):
can't, you can't justeffectively spend everything
that's on your credit cardthat's linked to your
playstation, um, so it's pretty,it's pretty good.
You can set times, so likescreen times and stuff, so you
can like say, right, only youcan have it for an hour.
And then there's like agelevels as well, so like they can
only see content that's forseven and under or 12 and under

(11:45):
so you have do have quite a lotof control.
Plus, they have a newsletterthat they send every week to
parents to explain to them whatthe new features are.
So they do a good job ofactually helping parents
understand why.
Now, why do they do such a goodjob?
Because they're going to makean absolute bucket load of money
.
So the tactics of the game, thescarcity tactics to try and get
you to buy things quickly like,oh, this skin's only gonna be

(12:08):
here for another two days.
You must buy it now.

Speaker 3 (12:10):
It's all the kids coming in.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Mom, I need to buy it now.
It's gonna disappear in twodays.
Ah, my friends will call me aloser if I don't, and I detest
that.
I detest the micro transactions.
I detest the scarcity tacticswith kids, like you know, saying
oh, you want this, do you?
Well, okay, you can't reallyencourage they know what they're
doing, because you can't thenencourage kind of like all right

(12:32):
, well, if you want it, let'ssave for it.
They're like, well, I can'tsave for it.
If it's going to be gone in twodays, it's now or never.
So then it puts pressure.
Um, so I don't agree with thatpart of it.
And we've got, um, we've gotsome agreements with brain about
how many skins he can buy eachmonth and how much he's allowed
to add to his wallet, which isbasically a fiver a month to buy

(12:55):
a skin.
That's got to come out of hispocket money and things.
Um, but yeah, it's not toobloody and gory, um, it's.
I was thinking about like thegames we used to play in the
early 90s when we were aboutbrain's age.
So just for listeners, brainsnearly 10 and I was like, okay,
when I was nearly 10 I'm prettysure I was playing mortal kombat
, yeah, so I'm like okay and Iremember like some of the films

(13:16):
I used to watch in the early 90sstreets of rage yeah, just
beating people up.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
You know, street fighter, you know, I'm just
gonna fight.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, so I'm like okay and I remember some of the
films I used to watch in theearly 90s.
Streets of Rage.
Streets of Rage, yeah, justbeating people up.
You know, Street Fighter, I'mjust going to fight this guy.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
Because it's more cartoonish.
It's not necessarily theviolence, it's more who you're
talking to and that side ofthings isn't it really?

Speaker 2 (13:38):
It's that side of things, and it's guns, you guns,
you are using guns so like iflast time brain was on a podcast
which was season one, episodeseven.
He talked about splatoon, whichwas like you use these kind of
like paintball guns effectivelyto cover people in ink.
This is like the next step up.
So it's like, okay, there aresome of the guns are fake, but
there are like you can getmachine guns and stuff, so

(13:59):
that's straight away like Idon't really want my kid running
around with a machine gun in agame um, so there's, there's
that kind of you know, you'relike I'm just not sure if I like
the idea of that, um.
So yeah, we've spent a lot oftime talking with brain about
what's real, what's not real,what's imagination, yeah, and I
got to the point where I waslike, okay, I'll play it with
him and trust him, and we'vebeen playing it together, so now

(14:22):
he's got a bit more freedom, um, and it was all right.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
So we started off just playing lego fortnight have
you enjoyed it with such kiss,though as a player yourself?

Speaker 2 (14:29):
no, I think it's nonsense.
Like I like video games, well,I think the game's kind of
nonsensey.
Personally, I'm like, yeah, butI'm also not not really the
target age group for it, am I,to be honest?
Um, but like, the legofortnight is quite a good soft
entry point into it.
Lego fortnight you play as legocharacters and you can build
forts and towns and it's a bitlike minecraft mixed with the

(14:52):
indiana gems.
So I think if any parents areworried about proper minecraft
or full sorry, a full umfortnight, lego fortnight it's a
good one to start with.
Um, just to kind of see theworld.
But I think my advice is like,again, tips for parents, tips
for dads, you're gonna have tokind of, you're gonna have to
spend some time understandingwhat it is and then making a
judgment call for yourself.

(15:13):
Um, I don't think it's one ofthose things you can just say
yes.
If you just say yes and letthem at it.
There's a lot of stuff on therethat is not cool, um, and
there's a lot of people on therewho are like just horrible
people yeah, you know you've gotit, you've got to be, you've
got to be like in the real world.
So yeah, like in the real world.
So just be diligent, um.
But yeah, we, we have now letbrain planet.

(15:34):
He plays on it with his cousin.
He's over in england and heplays on it with a couple of
friends from school, so afterschool they might go on it for
an hour and do a little squadgame and, um, they built they.
They spend a lot of time in theactual lego fortnite stuff
building rather than the shootybit because, again, you're, in
the shooty bit there's peoplewho are quite good, so you know,
there's not that many 10 yearolds are actually really that
good at it.
So I think we get a lot moreenjoyment from just running

(15:56):
around building, building layersand stuff.
But that's my perspective on itas a parent.
So be, be careful, but don't bescared of it.
Just be aware of what it is.
There's a lot of good websitesout there, like Mumsnet and
stuff, who have got goodarticles about it, and it is
free to kind of have a go.
It just takes a lot of brainpower.
I spend a lot of time trying tofamiliarise myself with what it

(16:17):
is.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
Just chuck them in, yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, just really familiarise yourself before we
chuck him in, but as a10-year-old, brayden or nearly
10-year-old come and say helloand tell us what you think of
playing the game.
Hello, hi, hello, brayden, hi.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
So unless you've been living under a rock, you'll
know about the Making Millionsgames for me, as my dad already
said.
So, yeah, games fortnight, as mydad already said so yeah,
actually it is quite fun to playwith my friends after school,

(16:54):
like for like so long.
The questions that like all theboys in my class just ask all
the other boys in my class isliterally just will you be
online today?
Like that's literally the onlyquestion that the boys asked my
dad only let me play LEGOFortnite for like a year, and

(17:20):
that frustrated me.
I pestered him every single day.
It wasn't a year.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
It was about a couple of months since I let you play
LEGO Fortnite.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
It was a year I remember because Fortnite has
collabed with Star Wars,obviously for Star Wars Day.
When I started playing it wascollabed with star wars,
obviously for star wars day.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
when I started playing it was collabed with
star wars, so it's about a yearago.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
Uh no, that's not really true but it was collabed
with star wars it was okay, itgenuinely was so tell us what?

Speaker 2 (17:52):
so?
Obviously there's a peerpressure from all.
Your mates want to play it,yeah, um, what do you enjoy
playing like?
Why do you enjoy it?
Is it a social thing or is itthe actual game?

Speaker 3 (18:02):
it's the game and the social thing.
I love playing with my friendbrax shout out to brax there and
I just love playing with all myother friends, like my cousin
and just like everybody reallycan I add?

Speaker 2 (18:19):
so they do talk to each other.
So brain and his cousin talkand his mate brax talks and
these, the, these, the.
On the playstation there's amicrophone and a speaker in the
joy in the control pad and youknow, we we hear some of the
conversations and some of thethings 10 year old-old boys talk
about is quite funny.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
One time my friend Isaac just started swearing like
F word him out and just startedchanting that as soon as my mom
came in the room and that wasjust cringe.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
And this is why parents are terrified of
Fortnite, because you have tohear your kids F-ing and
Jeff-ing If brain Fs and Jeffs.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
F-ing and Jeff-ing.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
It gets it taken away .
There is no F-ing and Jeff-ingallowed, but there are other
kids.
You can't control other kids,unfortunately.
That's half of the battle.
I think You're like if your sonis playing Mario World, he's
unlikely to encounter anybodysaying the f word.
Uh, on fortnight it might be,but I'm like okay, well, if you
say it on fortnight, he'sprobably saying in the
playground as well, which isn'tgood.

(19:24):
But you know, they don't say inthe playground, they say on
fortnight oh well, that'sanother reason to be quite
nervous, because if you're notsaying the playground, but you
feel you can get away withsaying it on fortnight, it's
another reason that it's just.
It encourages bad behavior,doesn't it?
So we have to be careful yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
So let's talk about probably one of the most famous
games in the world battle royale.
So first, about the guns thatdad was talking about.
None of the guns in battleroyale are real guns like there.
I have two words to describebattle royale laser tag, that's

(20:01):
literally all.
It is just people runningaround with these laser guns and
trying to be the last onestanding.
That's literally the mainaspect of battle royale.
Okay, there are some machineguns, right?
No, there's no machine guns.
Okay, there is like kind of amachine gun Like.

(20:23):
There's a thing called an ACPscatter blaster.
It shoots like a machine gun.
It shoots like yeah, and itdoes quite a lot of damage.
And then there's like otherguns that shoot like Like
insanely fast, yeah.
So the first time I got aVictory Royale was with my

(20:51):
friends.
I didn't have a mic then.
What is a Victory?

Speaker 2 (20:54):
Royale.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
A Victory Royale is basically when you're the last
one standing on a battle royale.
Okay, so the first time I got avictory royale I was with my
friends and we were just thekings of the map.
We were just grinding, okay.
And do you know what I loveabout the Star Wars updates?
Sometimes on the map in battleroyale are these like jedi or

(21:20):
sith, like holograms, and thenyou can like go on to it and do
like sith or jedi training, andthen you can literally get a
lightsaber my, my favorite, macewindu's lightsaber.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
He's just we're having a stream of consciousness
from brain so in, so we don'thave to listen to that.
We will ask brain some veryspecific questions, rather than
going off in a tangent and justtalk about everything that's on
your mind and just answer thequestion, because people don't
want to hear just two hours ofjust rah.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
Maybe they do, I don't know On this podcast they
do.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
So, out of all of the games on forecast, try again.
Of all the different optionsthere are to play on Fortnite,
what's your favourite one toplay?

Speaker 3 (22:13):
Either Battle Royale or Lego Fortnite Odyssey.
Yeah, lego Fortnite Odyssey isinsanely fun.
My friend brax like never,never would have played it
before.
But then I showed survival modeto him and then me and him just
like created this giant world.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
Just like, yeah what would you say if you were
playing fortnite for the firsttime?
Would you say leggo, fortnite.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Lego is a pretty good one to play first maybe if, if
you're, if you're young and it'sthe well like, it doesn't
really matter.
If you want to get into likereal fortnite, the best one to
start off with is probablyFortnite Reload, because you can

(23:02):
respawn in Fortnite Reload andthere's not as many people so
like.
But on Battle Royale it's laserguns and you have infinite ammo
.
But on Reload it's like realguns and you do run out of ammo.
So, yeah, the guns like aren'treal, like real guns and you do
run out of ammo.

(23:22):
So yeah, the guns like aren'treal, real guns, like they're
like shotguns and stuff, butthey're not real names, okay
well, that's what a lot ofparents are worried about.
They don't really they don'twant kids running around with
guns at all and also there isliterally no gore at all and it
literally there's a littlehealth bar at the bottom of your
screen that goes down to tellyou you're losing health.

(23:43):
And when you die it doesn'thave blood or anything, it's
literally just a drone comes andyou pixelate up and that's
literally it.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
So the more I hear Brain talk about it, the more I
do question whether I shouldreally let my child go to
Fortnite or not, let me play it.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
It my child or?

Speaker 2 (24:00):
not, yeah, but there's plenty of other things
that are fun as well, so I don'treally know if this has been
helpful, williams, to anyparents out there that may.
It may actually even have beenmore confusing, but you like,
you love playing it, don't?

Speaker 3 (24:11):
you?
Yeah, it is, it is fun.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
That's all I can say I do think there's an element of
it's kind of fomo it's.
I'm playing it because everyonekeeps talking about it and I
just want to be part of itbecause I'm 10 and on the
playground all the lads aretalking about it is.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Is your dad any good at it, braden?
Is your dad a good player afortnight?

Speaker 2 (24:30):
I haven't actually seen him play before oh no,
because it's not like a splitscreen where you can be on the
the same time.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
Well you can be on the split screen, Me and Hannah
from church.
Me and her played it once andHannah went onto your profile
and I went onto my profile andwe could split screen and we
were playing parkour gamestogether.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Oh See, I still don't know everything, williams.
I just I just don't knoweverything, but I'm gonna, I'm
gonna finish and conclude thatit's, it's horrendous.
I wish fortnite wasn't a thingI actually just wish it was old
school where you just got like aum, a cartridge and put it in
the console and you played withthe person sat next to you.
Because it's a nightmare, it'stoo much combat sub-zero versus

(25:20):
scorpion yeah, at least you knewwhere you stood.
It was going to be vicious andviolent and, you know, annoy you
, but that was it.
There was no, I didn't get.
Nobody asked me for my creditcard details there was.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
There was no connectivity, isn't it?

Speaker 2 (25:35):
it is hard.
It's a whole new world.
I have a lot of empathy for alot of parents out there, but
hopefully you can hear inBrain's voice he enjoys it
Whether that's a good thing or abad thing and whether I'm a
terrible parent and going tohell by letting him play it two
years before Because the agelimit on some of it is 12.
It's like Peggy 12.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
So be like okay, like the reason they're all 12s is
because of violence.
Like the reason they're all 12sis because other players can
like kill other players.
That's literally the one.
Is that a good thing, I don'tknow?
Like, well, if you do parentalcontrols, you can't talk to them
.
It can be annoying if, like,one person just targets you and
kills you over and over again.
But that's like that hashappened to me like twice.

(26:22):
It is quite annoying.
Then I just crashed out, butthen yeah, so there you go,
ladies and gentlemen, uh the one, the one game that isn't a 12
for violence is called fournight festival.
It is like one of them gameswhere, like, like, music comes

(26:43):
down, you have to hit thebuttons on the right thing, do
you know?
Like them?
Piano games?
Yeah, it's like that, but thereis swear words in that and
there's also sex in it.
See, yeah, see, no, you knowwhat?
I'm gonna change everything Isaid, right, you play.
Just don't play that.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
You know what I'm going to change everything I
said.
Right, you know Fortnite.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Don't let your kids play it, don't let your kids
play it, especially FortniteFestival from the sound of it.
Let your kids play Lego.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
it's a server and it's fine.
Yeah, let your kids play Lego,fortnite, everything else.
Don't Don't even talk to their.
Always happens, right, pull theplug on the internet, pull the
plug on all of it.
Pull the plug on the internet,let them play.
Get your old atari out the loft.
Let them play the atari missilecommand and yeah, bloody,

(27:28):
bloody fortnight.
So there we go, ladies andgentlemen.
I've in the.
In the process, I've decidedthat brain is no longer able to
play it and it's a load ofrubbish, and yeah.
Fortnite should be bannedeverywhere.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
So I have a question for you Fly away.
From all the way back two yearsago on season one, the Easter
special at the end.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
I asked you.
I don't remember any of theseasons.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
I asked you a riddle but then started going crazy and
then you had to cut a short hedid a poo, didn't he?
Yeah, he did.
He also vomited, oh yes, yeah,yeah, just like baby logan has
been sick all over, all over hismom.

(28:21):
She's cleaning herself like apro.
So the riddle was what travelsaround the world but stays in
one corner?

Speaker 1 (28:35):
and the answer is I want you to remember it was.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
You've got to do it.
A stamp, yeah, yay.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yay.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
I can remember the whole music off by heart.
It literally is one like thisDo, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,do, do, do.
Very good.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
Right, it's very late .
It's five to ten on a Saturdaynight.
Brayden should be in bed.

Speaker 3 (29:06):
He's clearly lost his marbles.
I drank like two cokes today.
I am caffeinated and I am readyto go.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
Why have you?

Speaker 3 (29:11):
drank two cokes today .
I didn't let you drink any coke.
I had a water, mama, and I gota coke, and then you just let me
drink any Coke.
I had a water.
Mama and I got a Coke and thenyou just let me drink a Coke,
but that's not two Cokes.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
That was a small bottle of Coke Zero.
No, it's like Right, Braden,Braden, we're going to Walliams.
I'm going to go and take Bradeninside, get him to his mother
get a beer and try and recoverfrom this right back in two
minutes.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Tips for dads, so dad .
So that was yeah, great tipsfor dads there.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Uh, mr archicus yeah, it's, it's that.
That is the.
That's the only tip now.
Try and avoid letting your kidsplay Fortnite for as long as
possible.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
A first look and a tip and a guest appearance on
the first episode.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
And a bit of a headache.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
And a bit of a headache.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
I'm hoping the chaos of that kind of highlights to
people.
Well, I mean, there'll bepeople who'll be able to kind of
appreciate that because they'llbe like yep, they had this and
for the for the listeners.
That are about 10 minutes intothe podcast.
Uh, we have been recording forabout 50 minutes.

(30:28):
There's a few sidewayschallenges.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
There wasn't there.
Yeah, another.
Another tip for dad, tips fordads, tips for dads get your
tips out for the dads.
Um, trips with your parents oryour in-laws is cool again.
Oh, is that, I recommend it.
I recommend it.
Um, you get through.
So obviously you know as a kidagain, your parents, great.

(30:51):
And then you get to a certainage, perhaps not um, but then
you get to our age with hodgkissand the extra hands, the extra
eyes, um is, uh, is great whenyou've got a little toddler.
Oh, yeah, um, it might go intomy first look.
So my first look at um, centerparks, center parks, longleat,

(31:18):
yes, I was always Someone'sdoing well for themselves.
So I was always yeah, I'm notgoing to, never going to go to
Center Parks.
It's overpriced, ridiculousPeople paying loads of money to
go to a forest.
I live in Cornwall.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
There's lots of forests.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
We've got a countryside, it's, there's lots
of forests.
We've got countryside, it'sfine.
Um, but um, no, we've gotactually got a really good deal.
I don't know how, um, so wewent up on the bank holiday, uh
monday, so I think most peoplewere sort of leaving, uh, but
yeah, got got a really goodprice to send parks in longleat,
um, so it was the wife and wifestad's um surprise 75th

(32:02):
birthday nice um.
So, yes, we've got a week and aweek there.
When I say a week monday,monday, friday uh, arrived on
the monday and she realized Iwas a bit first of all.
So we got there and you'reliterally mile long traffic just
like crawling into this place.

(32:22):
Oh wow, oh no.
And then you get there andthere's thousands of people, or
hundreds maybe I'm exaggeratingthe thousands, but a lot of
people, yeah.

(32:43):
But it turns out that with theseyou change over days, which I
think are Mondays and Fridays,and so obviously you've got
people checking out, but theystay for the day as well as the
people arriving that day.
So you kind of got double thebubble with the people.
So initially I was like this istoo many people for me.
But yeah, obviously people left, um, so it wasn't as busy and

(33:05):
um, yeah, really enjoyed it,really recommend it.
Um, yeah, you're in a bigforest, um, but there's um
different, um, different areas,lots of restaurants and all that
sort of stuff.
And um with logan because, um,you know, with a wife's wife
being a swim teacher, you knowhe's been swimming since he was

(33:25):
probably three weeks orsomething like that.
Uh, he can swim two meters nowand he's just turned two.
That's incredible.
So yeah, so yeah.
They've got a huge swimmingarea there.
Um um, the pool was.
I've never I don't think I'veever been to a pool that's
actually warm okay uh, maybe sothe kids peeing in it, I don't

(33:49):
know, but it was really reallywarm.
Um and um, there's plenty.
Yeah, it's big enough to tohave a splash in, but it's also
got um, you know those, thosewave, there's wave things oh,
the wave machines yeah andthere's like a little light that
flashes green.
There's like a tarzan and thewave machine goes and all

(34:12):
everyone dives into the pool togo on these waves.
But logan logan loved it, hadhis little noodle float and he
was he was loving it anddrinking all the water.
Um, and there's a little areawhich you could sort of go into
and then, um, um, basicallythere's a current and takes you
around in the circles, so ittakes you for a tunnel you just

(34:32):
basically float along with itand it takes you around.
He loved that yeah um, apartfrom so, we're going around.
And then and the wife I wasasking him do you want to get
off yet?
Do you want to get off yet?
I'll go around again.
But then she would decide lastminute right, we're getting off,
but obviously you've got thecurrent, so I'm trying to hard

(34:54):
brake turn left as the current'staking me right, I crashed into
the wall.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
Oh, flip Okay.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Knocked my head, saw a few birds flying on my head,
but oh, flip, okay, not my headSaw a few birds flying on my
head, but I was all right.
Wow, but yeah, and then,obviously, with the indoors
there, we managed to leave Loganof his granddad in the splash
pad area and then we went up onthe I don't know what it's
called.
I think it's called Lazy River,but it wasn't that lazy, it was

(35:22):
like rapids.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
And everyone else was .
It was like rapids, yeah, andeveryone else is going down
these rapids.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
You know, splash around the corners, but I don't
know if I've got a heavy bottommassage, kiss or my center of
gravity or what, but I'm likeyou know, when sometimes dogs
scoot on the carpet.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
That was me on the rapids.
I'm like, you know, whensometimes dogs scoot on the
carpet.
Yeah, that was me on the rapids.
I'm like I thought I was justsliding down really fast and I'm
like With my knees justshuffling trying to get down
this water slide.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Were you in front of a ring.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
No no.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
No, literally yeah, just out the ring.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
Maybe it's because you're a hairy beast.
Maybe you're just like Okay, no, literally yeah, just out of
the ring.
Maybe it's because you're ahairy beast.
Maybe you're just like Maybe.
Maybe it's just your hair wasworking as friction.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
But you know there's a lot of water, so I just don't
know why I just wouldn't move.
So Georgie, the wife of mine,would like fly down there.
Woo-hoo, smiling, laughing, anddown scoot, scoot.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Like a dog rubbing its ass on a carpet.
You've stuck up this bloodything.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, and I've got these other people behind me.
Whoa, After I tried to dodgeout of the way I almost got
smacked, oh dear, but yeah.
So then we got to the end of itand then the wife was like, oh,
can we go again?
Can we go again, Can we goagain?
And she's like I'm going to goagain and I'm like I don't want

(36:50):
to.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
I'll stay down here.
I don't want to.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
And because you go, you end up going outside.

Speaker 2 (36:55):
There's an outside swim area as well as an inside
swim area, yeah, and there'slike a whole like viewing
platform as people walk by andthey can look down and see
people go around these yeah,rapids and things and that.
No, I don't want to do thatagain because people just watch
you get you want to be a watcher, not another one being watched.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
Oh yeah, I mean, you see some, you see some sites
there's, uh, there's one lady wesaw that was um, um a lot up
front, shall we say, and um,yeah, you did see, I think
things did fall out.
Yes, uh, but uh yeah no, yeah,cinder parks, good fun.

(37:34):
Uh, there's a pancake house umit's had, you know, really nice
pancakes.
Uh, lots of good food, um lotsof nice little wildlife.
You know, we saw the first daywe got there's a deer, just you
know oh no, out in the backgarden to areas having a chomp,
um, but um, yeah, no, reallygood.

(37:55):
Yes, my first look at centerparks, uh, in longley and uh,
and yeah, well recommended anddid your father-in-law not your
step stepdad, your father-in-lawhave a good birthday surprise?

Speaker 2 (38:05):
He did.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
He did very good yes, obviously so the clues and the
names, the Cineparks, longleat,and we went to Longleat, the
Sapphire Park, so we went there.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
So that's good fun, and Logan saw the rah-rahs oh,
the rah-rahs um the raras, umthe raras, and he saw the, uh,
the splash raras.
Do you know what a splash?
My rise?
A splash rara.
So, uh, a lion in the waterwould be, um, what would be that

(38:36):
?
A hippo, I don't know?
Sea lion, oh, sea lion.
Of course, yeah, of course um.
He also saw a red bear do youknow what a red bear is a red
bear, uh a monkey, a ranger tanka red panda an actual red panda
.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah, red panda, wow class and he saw a night bear.
Do you know what a night bearis?
The teddy bear these are actualanimals, actual animals a night
night bear.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Uh, I do not know what a night night bear is.
A koala a koala?
Why is that a night night bear?

Speaker 1 (39:12):
just because it sleeps a lot well, they, just
they were all sleeping, yeahyeah, that's very sweet yeah
yeah, so that sounds like anawesome little trick then.
So yeah, really good, yeahreally good fun center parks and
the safari park yeah, solongleat safari park is
literally on the same road, sortof thing, so you know you could
leave longleat, you're there intwo minutes.
And we got there as soon as itopened, which I would tips for

(39:34):
dads get there as soon as itopens.
Um, and we went for the, wentfor the um, the safari bus.
Um, originally we were going touse our old car, um, we thought
you know, would have that foranother year and then just use
that.
And then we've got a new carbecause you go in the, the

(39:55):
monkey area and the monkeys but,um, so yeah, but also, before
you know, on the bus.
At least all of us can be theretogether with Logan and not get
our car wrecked.
But, on that week.
He said they collected 110 carregistration plates from these

(40:18):
monkeys.
Whilst we were there, we saw amonkey rip off a parking sensor
of a car at the back.
And yeah, they just.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
So you're there going around saying oh, here's the
night night bears, there's theoh, look at that, that's the
rah-rahs, and then you see thesethings here.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
They're the shitheads , they're the shitheads but yeah
, good fun.
And the Cinder Park itself.
It's so big you need to get adown train, which Logan called
car choo-choos, so you just getthe car choo-choos around.

(40:56):
But yeah, very good, Veryrecommended.
But only go when there's somegood deals going on because it's
check out and also and also, Ithink, we.
It's quite good for us becauselogan's at an age where he's
quite happy just to wanderaround the playgrounds there,
the swimming pool, that'sincluded, and all that sort of

(41:18):
stuff, whereas if you've gotyour older kids um, your, your
10 year olds, nine year oldsplus there's loads of activities
and that's where they make allthe money, because you just keep
paying for the and the go apestuff and the climbing walls and
the.
You know there's all sorts ofactivities going on.
And they're all you know, 30, 40, 50 quid you know, yeah, before

(41:43):
you know it, yeah.
Yeah, you can spend a lot yeah,yeah, yeah, because they're all
about you're there, you spendloads of money to get there and
then you spend loads of moneywhilst you're there captive
audience type thing, yeah.
So it's um, yeah, it's a, it'sa good business model, but um,
yeah, good, fun, good fun.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
It sounds excellent.
That's a good one.
I've never same reasons as you.
The kind of center parks arelike that's a lot of money for
what you get.
Um, so to hear that it'sactually pretty good.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
I've always liked the look of the swim pools but what
I've heard is um, and this isif you don't get like a good
deal, like like we did, a lot ofpeople actually, because I
think it started in belgium orholland yeah um, and actually
people say it's it's more costeffective to actually especially
like, if you live in london orsomewhere, just go to the center
parks in belgium or holland,because the cost of traveling

(42:36):
there and staying there isactually cheaper than that's
cheaper than ones in england soand that's a good tip for that.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
But like, know that whole, like you've got a kid
who's like Sir Logan's age, youthink, oh, you still need to
bring quite a few things withyou.
The idea of going abroad can beterrifying.
So you think we'll do somethinglike centre parks, but it's
quite unaffordable.
So, like you can still do likecaravan holidays like Haven and
stuff, which are not bad, butit's still, it's quite expensive
compared to going like on aneasy jet or a jet two holiday to

(43:05):
you know cost a brava orsomething.
Well, why does it cost so muchto to stay here, can it?
What?
Where's the affordable ukholidays for parents who are
like?

Speaker 1 (43:14):
yeah, just stay close by.
And also logan's age, you knownot, not school holidays or
anything like that to worryabout oh, school holidays are a
pain, williams, like really arebut, like you said before, you
make the most of the thedifference in holidays.
So northern ireland compared toengland and try to yeah yeah,

(43:35):
try.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Yeah, we're quite lucky over here because we like
it all.
The kids are on half termcoming, but ours aren't.
And then, as finish school,before the english kids go on
their six weeks holiday sothere's like a bit of time
before where you can kind of getsome good deals still, but it's
like it's not fair.
It feels like parents getpenalized because they want to
send their kids to school andall that it's yeah yeah, I don't

(43:57):
like.
Yeah, I'd shake the angry fists.
I'm like these people surgepricing and charging people more
when it's busy.
It it's like you should chargepeople less when it's busy
because there's more peoplethere so you don't need to
charge as much.
But I don't know, that wouldprobably be unfair somewhere
else.
I don't know, walliams, but I'mglad you had a good time in
Centre Parcs.
Anyway, it sounds lovely.
I may well check it out in thefuture.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
It's a different extreme than killing people on
Fortnite.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Fortnite.
It's yeah a different extremethan uh killing people fortnight
, fortnight.
You know what I kind?

Speaker 1 (44:26):
of.
I've got the world to come, andI'm probably scarier because
who knows in you know the fiveyears time, what the world is
going to be like well, like youwere saying that about like
logan playing on parks and stuff, and it genuinely just made me
feel a bit sad because we triedto take brain to a few parks and
he's like it's too big now forthem.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
And it's like, oh, I don't want to go to park and
like he, he's interestedchanging um like the parties
that he's going to now withchanging and um, it's different
and I kind of like oh.
I want him to go to the parkand go on the slide when the
slide's the most exciting thing.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
Yeah, you just gotta try to enjoy the moment where
you are, because we're we'redoing the same now, but like, oh
, when he was one, you know whenhe was a baby because he's not
a baby now and he knows he's nota baby now he goes no, dad, big
, you know he's not a baby.
But uh, our playgrounds andthings, like he looks at the

(45:25):
bigger kids and he's got no fear.
You know he just wants to go onthese.
You know the bridges but likethe steps are like wider than
he's long, sort of thing andhe's gonna fall through those
and then he's going up up intobits where, dad, I can't quite
get up there.
You're trying to like, try toprotect him, but you're like I

(45:49):
can't fit through that gap, Ican't I know it's uh I can't
climb that being a parentwilliams, it's just.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
It's just terrifying.
Regardless of their age, it'sjust terrifying yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
And then there's slides in the splash pad in
center parks, but he just endedup just chucking himself down
them.
No fear, um.
And then at one point again,it's part of learning.
But he just there's a kid infront of him and he wanted to go
on the slide, so he just pushedit down the slide.

(46:24):
You shouldn't do that, reagan.
But um, blessing.
But yeah, good fun, good fun.
Uh, recommend it, but make sureyou do it when you can afford
it, and if you can't afford it,look at belgium or holland and
do it that way instead very nice.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Um, I have, if you remember, while it was at the
end of season three, there was acliffhanger, was there?
There was a tease of a firstlook.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
I don't remember it.

Speaker 2 (46:46):
No, do you remember I said I was gonna tease, I was
getting an e-bike, yes, so uh,yeah, I can give you an update
on the e-bike, if you want,please do.
Yes, you've got it and you'vemade it go 50 miles an hour I
did not make it go 50 miles anhour and good job too, because I
got the bike built.
The bike was a bit exciting forthe bike got the gear, got the

(47:07):
gear.
Williams watched all the videos.
I was like, right, I'm ready,I'm ready for this, went out on
the bike, living my best lifeyeah it was incredible having
the best time now the windflowing through your hair wind
throwing flowing through my hairthis, I was revving it.
I went pedalling as well,obviously did you pedal I?

(47:29):
did some pedalling going on thisthing and I set myself up where
I was going to go and there's abike path.
So about two and a half milesfrom us by our road.
We are very lucky we havesomething called the Cumber
Greenway which is just a bikepath, like an eight mile bike
path, and I thought I'm going tocycle to a place called the
Cumber Greenway, which is just abike path like an eight mile
bike path, and I thought I'mgoing to cycle to a place called
Billy Neal um playing fields,cause there's like a bike track

(47:53):
there.
So I thought I'm going to gotry it out.
So I cycled there having thetime I'll have to go to these
things and I was like, oh, thislooks fun, right I?
I go down and say, oh no, thisisn't kind of the bike track I
wanted.
This is like a BMX thing.
So I'm on it and I'm stillgetting used to the bike and
it's trying to go fast and Ithink, oh no, I better stop.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
So I try to put my foot down.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
There's no ground there, so I absolutely stack it.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
First time on the bike.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
I end up in a bush swimming in the nettles landed
on my ass.
But most but most importantly,is the bike all right.
The bike was all right.
Land up on top makes it's aheavy bike.
Like it's, it's we're talkinglike yeah, it's a big ass bike.
Um, so I ended up in a bushwith a bike on top of me, with a
sore ass and I'm not thesmallest of guys.

(48:39):
So when I fell off this bike Ilanded smack on my bum did
anyone see you?
no, nobody saw me.
It put shockwaves through mysystem.
So for about 2 weeks I had awrecked back.
So I managed to get myself homeembarrassed, went upstairs, I
got stung to buggery as well.
I was wearing shorts and stuff,so all of my legs were stung

(49:02):
after about 24 hours did it allcome out in bumps it did, and
but like my, my leg was tinglinglike at one point I thought, oh
I've, I might have to go andsee something about this,
because my whole leg wastingling and I was like this
ain't good.
Um.
So yeah, it was.
I was having the greatest oftimes until I decided to stack
it.
So another tip for dads just becareful.

(49:25):
You know the irony as wellbefore I went out on this bike.
It said e-bikes are quitedangerous, and they are they can
be, but not as not as dangerousas an invalid who can't use the
bike the bloody thing properly.
So anyway, I have, I have dustedmyself off and we've had
several times of course I was,yeah good, good good, so I've
been out several times on it nowand it is genuinely the most

(49:48):
fun, um so because of the e-bike, like I can go further, because
you can use it just as a normalbike, so you can cycle until
you're effectively knackered,which is great.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
But you're also.
Does it charge from yourcycling?

Speaker 2 (50:00):
no, no you just have to charge it up on the thing,
but this one's got like a rangeof about 50 miles, so it's
pretty good yeah um, so this,this, like this greenway is
about eight miles.
So like I've cycled as far down, as kind of oh, I'm getting
pretty tired now, because youwant to put effort, you've got
to, you want to make yourself,I'm trying to, I'm trying to get
better.
So like I want to make myselfsweat, I don't just want to rely
on it.

(50:20):
But then when you do get likecoming back, you're like okay,
I've cycled away from my housefor seven miles.
I don't think I'm going to beable to do seven miles back.
So you can rely on the, you canrely on the motor.
So because of the throttle,this you can cheat.
You can literally cheat.
So I can literally just holdthe throttle down and get up to
about 16 miles an hour and justcruise.
And it's quite funny because,like, that's fast enough, you

(50:43):
can overtake people.
So there's other people onbikes.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
They're pedaling like crazy.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
They're pedaling like crazy and you're like so it's
quite funny, and like up hillsand stuff, it just pulls you up
the hill.
So I'm just like this is I saidI said this on the last podcast
we live at the top of a hill.
So I said this on the lastpodcast we live at the top of a
hill.
So that was one of the reasonsI was like I'm never going to be
able to cycle up that hill.
I can barely walk up it, nevermind cycle up it and I just pull
the throttle and just up thehill.

(51:12):
So it is brilliant, so I'veonly fallen off it once.
Thankfully it was the firsttime I was using it, but it
hasn't put me off, but it diddefinitely make me more cautious
.
I was like, right, you've gotto be careful on these things.
So I would first look ate-bikes.
I would recommend them.
They are everything I expectedthem to be, and more, and they
are fun.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
But just be careful, they are fun, be careful, be
careful Moving on to.
So at the bottom of the fishpond, mr Hodgkiss.
Yeah, it's so at the bottom ofthe fish pond, mr Hodgkiss.
It's sunk to the bottom of thefish pond.
Are the firsty firsts?
No, they're down there in thedeep.

(51:54):
They're still there, butthey're way down deep in the
pond waiting for someone towrite in and go bring them back.
I miss them and bring them back.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
I miss the joy on your face from them.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
So well, this is it.
So I've created a new segmentcalled Pints and First Bites.
So have you just changed thename of the same thing, so this
is where I take a first look atnot only pints but snacks and
nibbles as well.
So I can still have a pint nowand again, but I can also have a

(52:32):
little nibble and a littlesnack, okay, so as usual, please
write in to Fishbowl and thefeedback at firstlook.
What's that email address?
Firstlook, I thought youraddress could be called.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
FirstLookNomes at Outlookcom.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
FirstLookNomes at Outlookcom.
That's the one If you don'twant to hear any more.
But yeah, so Pints and FirstBites.
It's a new segment.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Oh right, and are we going to introduce this now or
in the next episode?
Why not?
Okay, go for it, wally, just gofor it.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
So I haven't got a tune yet.
Pints and First Bites.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
We'll think of that for the next episode.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
Pints and First Bites .

Speaker 2 (53:15):
We'll think of it next episode.
How about we?

Speaker 1 (53:18):
do a like, give me a P.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
P, give me an Einz and First Bites.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
Einz and First Bites.
Put it all together, this isthe German episode Einst and
first bites.
Einst and first bites, Einstpints and bites, pints, and
first bites.
No offence to our Germanlisteners.
So this week, this week, thisepisode.
Let's go.
Are pints and first bites.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
We've got a first bite this week.
Can I just comment?

Speaker 1 (53:44):
on this.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
You've decided to kill a feature and then bring it
back.
I listen to feedback.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
So what you've done instead of?

Speaker 2 (53:53):
killing the feature.
You've extended it because, nowit's food and beer.
So you've basically said to thelisteners screw you, you know
nothing.
I'm going to drink what I wantto drink and also just to annoy
nothing.
I'm going to drink what I wantto drink and also just to annoy
you, I'm going to add some foodinto it as well.
So not only am I going to talkabout beer, I'm also going to
talk about pork pies and scotcheggs and scratchings.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Series 5,.
I'm going to start his maincourse and just say it.
Listen to Walliams have hisdinner.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
It's your podcast.
You drive the ship.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
Hey cheers.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
Let's go, so you've already got a pint.
Yeah, just listen, he'sdrinking a pint already.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
So we've got our first pint.
Let's go Our first pint.
So you can describe it.
If you can see it, Mr Archibald, this is our first pint.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
Oh, that's like a matchy-match.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
So this is from our listener, one of our listeners,
catherine.
Oh yes, and she sent in a greenbox Kit Kat, kit.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
Kat, so it's.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
Kit Kat.
It's all in Japanese, apartfrom a bit that says Uji Matcha.
Matcha yeah, there is a littlebowl with a green liquid on it.
Nice and I'm not going to readany of the back because it's all
in Japanese Looks lovely, sohere we go.

(55:17):
So I'm going to open the boxand I'm Take a picture of the
box for the website.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
I am for the website, yes, so I'll put the website.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
Take a picture of the box for the website.
I am for the website.
Yes, I'll put the website.
Ooh, it's a tiny littlepackages.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Ooh, that's very cute .

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Tiny, tiny little packages, but I'm reliably
informed.
Well, that's good, so I canactually keep two of these
behind if I don't like it, andperhaps I can save you one, mr
Oshkiss.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
So I'm reliably informed what chocolate.
Yeah, I can't do any chocolateanymore.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
I haven't eaten chocolate for about three years.
Okay, so I'm reliably informed.
These are very small.
This is KitKat, but I expecteda in for this race.
What I expected, so this is.
This is KitKat by spit, to knowKitKat size and chocolate
fingers.
No, no, it's just really tiny.
This is what you say, like alittle fingers worth.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
Yeah, yeah it's like a kick up half a normal kick up.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
So let's have a look.
Oh, it's green.
It is definitely green.
Okay, we've got a little green.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
Beautiful.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
A little green Kit Kat fingers, but I'm reliably
informed these are wasabi KitKats, so let's give it a go.

Speaker 2 (56:36):
It reminds me of a very bad joke this does.
Can I tell you that joke,Williams?

Speaker 1 (56:44):
Please.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
What's green?
And smells like bacon kermit'sfingers, maybe quite that one
from the podcast.
They're nice, nice they looklovely, there's.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
No, I don't taste any spice.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
No, matcha's not spicy, it's green tea.

Speaker 1 (57:11):
It's green tea.
Oh Well, there you go, achimacha Wild drum, sorghum,
that's green tea, is it?
Did you not know that?
No, brilliant Mmm, nice, thatnostalgic, that's green tea, is
it, did you not know?
That no, brilliant nice.
It's a little bit of kick sortof in there.

(57:34):
Very nice, very nice.
I will say one of those, thewife of life, because they're
not spicy.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
I don't know they're spicy you may be confusing it
with wasabi, because wasabi isgreen and that is very hot,
that's like mustardy and that'snot.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
That's not spicy at all, that's um that matches
green tea that's quite nice.
There's two little packetsthere, so I'll save one for the
wifey wife so she can have asample and thank you, thank you
for sending those in yeah,that's amazing there's two
fingers two fingers, no, but Imean out of five.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
How many fingers have you given it?

Speaker 1 (58:06):
oh, we're still doing that at the website, aren't we?

Speaker 2 (58:08):
yeah, you can't introduce a snack feature.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
Not tell us if it's good well, I was three and a
half fingers, because it's, it'snice.
It's not like, oh wow, but nice, yeah, there you go.
I've had that's from Japan, kitKat Uji Matchi.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Did Catherine actually go to Japan and get
that?

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Catherine actually went to Japan and sent it in to
First Let Names Amazing.
So thank you to our toplistener, Catherine.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
So are you just doing snacks or pints?

Speaker 1 (58:39):
I'm keeping it flexible.
I'm keeping it flexible.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
But for now, have you got a pint?
It's called pints and firstbites.
Um, see where it goes.
Yeah, pints, pints and food,lovely, nice, well, I think.
Um, this episode has been sorecording.
We'll give the listenersanother look behind the curtain.
Sometimes these episodes goswimmingly.
Sometimes it started with usfor about 45 minutes trying to

(59:03):
be able to hear each other.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
I've not finished yet .

Speaker 2 (59:05):
I've got my dad joke to do oh, flip me, I'm okay,
sorry, I still have dad justright, right, yeah, sorry, carry
on just carry on, explain.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
I've just probably added to what you're gonna say.
But explain, and then I'll domy dad joke and we'll finish
this episode sometimes, ladiesand gentlemen, these podcasts,
just they're like smooth, likebutter.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
Other times they're lumpy like two-day-old porridge,
and we you know we came in fromour own fault, I don't know,
but sometimes magic happens andsometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes magic happens andsometimes it doesn't, but it's

(59:49):
been fun to.
It's still been fun to recordit.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
It's always nice spending time with you, Mr
Walliams.
Yes.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Go on, then dad jokes please, dad, joke.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
And then we've got episode two to record.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
No, we don't record that back to.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
I mean it's your time Anyways.
I've got a question for you, MrArchicus.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
Oh yes.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Have you ever tried blindfolded archery?

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
I have not.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Have you not?
You don't know what you'remissing.
Hey, oh dear.
Anyways, I love my furniture,Mr Archkiss.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
I'm sure you do.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Me and my recliner go way back.
Oh dearie me See you in acouple of weeks, listeners.
Bye everybody, Bye, Bye.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Please like, follow or share this podcast to help
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