December 25, 2024 • 31 mins
Join us on a festive Boxing Day journey where we reminisce about our favourite Christmas traditions, from the delightful taste of Neon Raptor's "Carol" IPA to tales of childhood encyclopaedias like Grolier and Encarta.
Our holiday party is in full swing, complete with the flavours of mango and gooseberry that transport us back to Nottingham, and a spirited discussion filled with laughter and holiday cheer.
Ever heard of the "Cornwall Bounce"? Prepare to be fascinated as we unravel Cornwall's geological quirks, a phenomenon that sees the land rise and fall with the tides, discovered by Dr. Matt King back in 2003. With insights into this unique feature and a light-hearted touch on Cornwall’s ancient connection to Brittany, we sprinkle humor with playful dad tips to round off the conversation. It's an insightful narrative that captures the spirit of the season with a dash of science and a sprinkle of fun.
As we navigate the holiday season, we touch on the art of balancing family time and social commitments with a humorous edge. Expect laughs through playful Boxing Day jokes featuring legends like Mike Tyson and glimpses into the 2024-2025 Ally Pally darts tournament.
Whether it's the excitement of holiday football matches or the thrill of watching darts, we promise an episode brimming with light-hearted banter, sports predictions, and festive joy, ensuring your Boxing Day is as merry as it is entertaining.
Join us at the bottom of the garden for a first look at.....
- Thirsty Firsts
- Neonraptors Carol! Neon Raptor Carol IPA 6.5% (440ml can) – Hop Burns & Black
- Happy Christmas Happy Christmas 2024 | Cloudwater | Candied Orange Pale | UK | Brew Cavern
- First Look at the "Cornwall Bounce"
- World Darts 2025
The usual Dad jokes....and the regular Tips for Dads segment....this time on Christmas
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
because you're episode three to do what you
want to do.
You gotta live your life.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Do what you want to do episode three yeah, that was
beautiful and you who sung thatoriginally was it, episode three
, I don't know.
Entrance or something.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
No, it's not Entrance no, no, no, but it's one word,
other other Google or Bing orYahoo, or however you search
your.
I should Ultranate becauseyou're free Ultranate.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Williams to do what you want to do.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
You've got to live your life.
It's Boxing Day, yay, happy.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Boxing Day Merry Christmas.
Full disclaimer.
We are recording this a fewweeks before Boxing Day, so we
hope, we hope this is actuallycoming out on Boxing Day and
you're listening to this happy,full of turkey.
We, because we're stupid, weare going to talk about things
(01:19):
that are pre-Christmas, eventhough you're going to listen to
this post-Christmas or duringChristmas.
But you know what?
That's half the fun.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
It's like a nice little time capsule going back
to a few weeks ago To remindyourself of life before
Christmas, but it's our knownChristmas party, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
It is what we're doing, william.
Is that we and?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
what does that mean?
That means firsty-first Whee.
And for does that mean thatmeans thirsty first, whey, whey.
And for those that listened tothe last episode, I've still not
changed my setup, so excuse me,whilst I try to get to the
thirsty first, fridge.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Trying to get to the fridge, making it look much more
awkward than it needs to.
I'm going to Well, because Ihave a can ready to open for our
Christmas party.
While you're searching for yourbeer, I'm going to see if I can
get the sound effect.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Is this the first of us?
No, it's not.
It's the first of.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
It's the same thing.
I always drink yes WhitewaterBrewery from Northern Ireland.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So first the first.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
What have we got, Wiles?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
This is not the first time I've had the brewing
company, but it's definitely thefirst time I've had this one,
so this is a.
I don't know if you can seethat this is from the Brewing
Company Neon Raptor and it'scalled, and it's called Carol.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
And it's got a Christmas Carol guy on the front
.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And it must be linked to something that I'm not too
sure reference.
Do you know the reference?
You're more up to date withcultural things I have zero idea
it's a red label.
It's a, a chap that looks likehe's at an office christmas
party.
He's got his tie on, he's got acigarette in his fingers,
(03:03):
wearing a Christmas hat.
It's called Carol, with anexclamation mark Carol.
It's an IPA.
It's a 6.6%.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
It's brewed in Nottingham.
Oh nice, our old stompingground, our old stomping ground
and it says Ho, ho, ho and daybo bo to you, carol in HR.
Sorry, carol in HR supplied uswith lashings of Idaho 7,
(03:38):
uconaut, mosaic Cryo and NelsonSalvin hops.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
There you go.
That's why it's called Carol,obviously.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
It sounds like poisonous chemicals to me For
elements of mango, lime andgooseberry.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
If drank worse, get it in your arse.
Let's see what it's like.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
There we go.
It's a little.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Just a note, william, to listeners, it's pungent.
Has it got a smell?
When he reads the label,listeners, he does it one eye
closed, one eye open, as if he'slooking at a dictionary or the
Britannia Encyclopedia.
Nope, just the label of thebeer.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was a.
I was a grolier man when I wasa kid a grolier man yes what's a
Grolier?
Man when I was a kid.
A Grolier man.
Yes, what's a Grolier?
Grolier Sounds like a growth.
So you said Britannica.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
So Grolier were the competitors Okay.
G-r-o-l-i-r.
I think you do like to bedifferent, don't you?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
We had a salesperson that came round to sell the
encyclopedia books wow see, wehad a.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
This is a blast from the past.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
We had Encarta so we just got the letter B like the
episode of friends with Joey.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
We I never read an encyclopedia, but I remember our
school had an RM Nimbus PC witha CD-ROM.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yes, I think we yes.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
It had Encarta.
The Encarta DigitalEncyclopedia.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Which, at the time, was just mind-blowing.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Before the internet it was like so much information
on CDs and videos.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
You could watch videos on the computer.
Like wow, this is justunbelievable From a CD.
Yeah, it's the future.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Today.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
And if all quids in, we can release an update CD next
year, uh-huh 30 year plan wasthere.
So I've just pulled it.
It's quite a very light number.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Looks lovely.
What's the verdict?
Yeah, nice.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
It's refreshing, doesn't taste very alcoholic
6.6%.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
You've got to be careful with that.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
But it doesn't taste.
Oh, a bit of a, a bit of a Toit.
I love how serious he takesthis.
Listeners, it doesn't taste.
Oh, a bit of a, a bit of a Toit yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
I love how serious he takes this listeners.
He's like, oh yeah, he's likemm.
Getting around these chopsmaking the noises.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Could you imagine if I actually had some decent vocab
for these reviews?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Yeah, it's very.
It's very beery, it's uh.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Yeah nice, mmm, it's very beer-y, mmm, it's beer.
Yeah nice, I mean I would.
I feel like I'm becoming itmight be more of my age.
I'm becoming more of a darkerbeer man.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Oh yes.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Because it's been branded as a Christmas beer.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
What makes it Christmassy?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Carol, I'm the man with a Christmas hat.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Just the label basically.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Just the label.
So that's kind of put me off abit.
I'm like Christmas has got totaste like Christmas.
Yeah, Like the sticky tofupudding that tastes like
Christmas pudding on theprevious episode.
So that's going to knock itdown and I know you wanted a
number of gnome fingers out often.
How many fingers, even thoughgnomes have 11 fingers, but
(07:05):
gnomes have 11 fingers they dowell then, it's 2 out of 11.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
If that's what it is, how many?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
well, it's not.
It's not worth 11, it's noteven worth talking about well,
how many out of 11 would yougive it?
I would 6.5 6.5 out of 11fingers yeah, 6 and a half out
of 11 fingers.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, six and a half.
We won't be approaching thecount.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
But no, it's nice.
It is nice, but I wantsomething a bit more Christmassy
.
First looks.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
First looks.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
First looks.
So this is not a new thing.
I mean, if anything, it'smillions of years old probably,
but, as listeners are probablyaware and you definitely are, mr
Hodgkiss- Cornwall's an oddplace.
(07:57):
Oh, very, very odd place,beautiful, beautifully odd, I
like to think.
I know quite a bit aboutCornwall, but it still it keeps
outstanding me.
It keeps, it keeps keeps, keepsoutstanding you keeps, keeps
what's the word?
It keeps surprising me andkeeps, keeps me on my toes and
it keeps.
Yeah, sorry, yeah it.
(08:29):
Yeah, every day just gives you alittle surprise and something
new that I didn't didn't realize.
Oh, I'm looking forward to it.
Yesterday or the day beforeyesterday, and just on the
socials, and and, yeah, you getthese random videos that pop up,
based on your algorithms orwhatever.
(08:49):
So, um, your star wars,strippers and all this other
stuff that pops up in youralgorithms.
And, um, listen back to seasonone, um, if you haven't already
listened this.
But um, season one, um, if youhaven't already listened to this
(09:10):
.
But, um, something popped upabout, uh, about cornwall.
Oh, it's about cool.
So have a little, uh, a little,watch this video.
And, um, I didn't realize andthis is, this is a fact.
You might even know yourselfand I still can't get my head
around how it happens, butCornwall rises up and down with
(09:32):
the tide.
It actually goes up and downwith the tide.
So so okay, explain so, due tothe tide, Devon and Cornwall,
they move up and down by 10 to15 centimetres twice a day.
Wow.
(09:53):
So when the tide rises aroundthe Peninsular Cove because
there's so many caves andtunnels and things that go
underneath.
You're buoyant, so, yeah, yeah,so, which I just didn't realize.
So when, when the tide rises onthe coast, it has the effect of
(10:13):
compressing the I'm readingthis from the blurb but it has
the effect of compressing theland and pushing it down.
Um, and this wasn't reallyknown until, I mean a little
while ago, about 2003, which isquite recent really.
Yeah, in 2003, a survey by drmatt king, who was working on
the project um, he said thecornish coast has the biggest
(10:35):
tides in britain, which resultin it having the biggest bounce.
So when the tide rises, theweight of water on the
continental shelf aroundCornwall increases and the
county sinks into the Earth'scrust.
Wow, and according to Dr King,when the tide goes out, the
weight lifts off and Cornwallbounces back up.
(10:56):
Do they call?
Speaker 3 (10:58):
it, the Cornwall Bounce.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
They don't call it the Cornwall Bounce.
They could do, why not theyshould?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Give it a brand.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Well, they don't call it the Corn Bounce.
They could do, why not?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
It's called the Corn Bounce.
Give it a brand.
So apparently the survey isusing American satellites to map
the movements around 30different stations all over
Britain, measuring all theshifts to the nearest millimeter
, and so far the biggest bouncehas been recorded in Redruth and
(11:24):
Camborne, the southwest groundstation.
Oh nice, With bounces measuringmore than four inches.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Well, williams, I mean four inches in Redruth.
I'm not going to say thatthat's standard.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Four inches is massive.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Four inches is it's a pretty good bounce.
I've heard Four inches is afour inches is it's a pretty
good bounce.
I've heard four inches hashtaggood bounce um, isn't that crazy
?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
so literally just bouncing up and down every day
very slowly, but still well,yeah, right, yeah, but per day.
That's quite quick, really,isn't it four inches.
You think how big four inchesis?
It's massive and it will go upand down by four inches every
day, that's up and up.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Up, up four inches and down four inches twice a day
yeah, up and down up and up anddown, and up and down on four
inches, yeah, um isn't thatcrazy, but I thought that was
really interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
might, might just be me it genuinely is interesting.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
You wouldn't think that you just assume that the
land just continues and joinsthe seabed.
You wouldn't think there wasthat much hollow space
underneath it that it wouldactually rise up so effectively.
Then, if we had a big enoughsaw, we could cut Cornwall off,
just cut it and push it into thesea and it'd just float away.
(12:47):
Amazing, wow, wow.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Wow, wow, Mr Archicus .
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Well, well, well.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
So Cornwall is.
I think I've told you thisbefore, but Cornwall is very
different.
So Cornwall actually is a lotof its.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
It is very different, ladies and gentlemen.
It is.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
So Cornwall actually is a lot of its.
It is very different, ladiesand gentlemen, it is Because I
told you before we're slightlyradioactive, so our minerals and
Slightly radioactive we are soradon.
So all our minerals and rocksunder Cornwall is very different
than the rest of Britain and itgives off a lot of radon, which
is a radioactive thing.
It gives off a lot of radon,which is a radioactive yes,
(13:23):
Right, but it matches closely toBrittany in France.
Yeah, and that's because you goback.
Scientists have written andcorrected me, but you go back
200,000 years.
We were actually probably morelikely connected to France.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Ooh, la la.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
And then we sort of you know however it works,
disconnected from it and thenended up connecting to the
British trials as the tectonicplate shifted.
Yes, disconnected from Franceand became British so we left
France and we connected out ofBritain, and then we've just
been bobbing up and down eversince, moving on from four
(14:10):
inches tips tips for dads tipsfor dads.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Tips for dads.
Tips for dads, tips for dads.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
We've got some tips for dads.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Get your tips out for the dads.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Yeah.
So, williams, this week we arelooking at tips for dads.
As this is going on Boxing Day,we are looking for tips for
dads who are struggling, shallwe say, with family members.
Just before we get into thetips, wells, do you enjoy the
family time at Christmas, or areyou kind of more of a recluse
(14:44):
and shut the door and leave mealone?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It depends if I've won the Christmas board game or
not really.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Is that it?
What is the Christmas boardgame of choice?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Of my choice that I've not made for the last 10
years Monopoly.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Well, I suppose you have to be careful what you say,
because you're probablylistening to this podcast as
well.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I'm not allowed to play Monopoly.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Why is that?
Because you get angry.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
No because I win, Because you win yes.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Is that because you're tired, I'm good at
Monopoly.
How are you good at Monopoly?
Is it a game of chance?
Speaker 1 (15:16):
my wife, who she actually played Monopoly with me
about four years ago now, butshe referred to me as Donald
Trump.
So yeah, moving on, tips fordads, tips for dads.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
So here's three tips for dads who are struggling with
it all.
So don't overbook yourselves.
A lot of the time, valiums, youget overbooked.
You've got to say no to a fewthings you do.
It's not necessarily the peoplethat you are seeing that breaks
you, it's the volume of peopleyou're having to see.
(15:47):
It's like, okay, on this daywe'll go and see auntie pat, on
that day we'll go and see auntiesandra, and the next day we'll
go and see don't spread your joywithin no, no, because it's
nice to celebrate, but mostpeople kind of go out.
that's why Fridays and Saturdaysare good.
You go out and have good times,but you can do it every night.
So if you go and spend a wholeweek just seeing people, it's
(16:09):
lovely, but it's very much liketicking a box.
And, yeah, I'd suggest holdinga party, have a party at your
house or something.
Get it all over done in one bigblast.
The other tip I would say islike, if you struggle and you're
a bit like, oh, I've got to goand see this person, and I've
had this situation a few timeswhere I'm like we've got to go
and see such and such and I justdon't want to.
(16:32):
You have to because you know, bea good person person but have a
secret code word.
So it's like if it's time to go, you can be like, uh, we need
to go and have some, get somegravy, gravy, yep, uh, need to
stop, remember to get some gravy, and the code word there would
be gravy, yeah.
So it's like okay, we need to,we need to make a move now it's
(16:52):
time to to go, and one that Iheard about was just it's genius
.
It's one of those things whereyou're like no.
But the guy who told me aboutit was like I can actually see
you doing this.
He said he bought a foghorn oneyear and he said, as soon as he
got Like a, like one of thoseones where, yeah, like one of
(17:15):
those, like a big-ass foghorn.
So when someone's being a bitinappropriate or starting to
talk about something that couldsay, just blew, it Just blew the
foghorn.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I was just like.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I love that as an idea.
Like I won't be bold enough todo it, but so yeah.
So those are the tips.
Don't overbook yourselves, havea secret code word and bring a
foghorn.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
And on to your first look, Mr Hodgkiss.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Right, so my first look is probably the same first
look I did last year and it'sprobably the same first look I
did the year before that,because this time of year, Well,
you can't have more than onefirst look, because it's the
first look.
Well, because the years changenow, so it's first look for this
year.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Okay, oh, not celebrity.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Oh, no, no, I'm a celebrity is fantastic.
I have done that a couple ofyears in a row, but this one
it's all about.
If I was to say to you Wells,do, do, do, do, do, da, da, da,
(18:39):
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
One of the greats, becausethere are so many players who
could potentially cause an upsetand do it well.
Um, I have been watching, so Ihad a first look at a new show
that they've released, adocumentary called um game of
throws.
It's on sky documentaries, it'sa three-part series and it
follows the darts players lastyear, the 2024, 2023, 2024 alley
pally tournament, and it'sbrilliant to get a real, an
insight into, like, just hownormal guys are.
(19:00):
It's really good.
Um, so give it a like, uh, giveit a watch, but by boxing day
now we're getting, we're gettinginto the, we're getting to last
32.
Um, we're getting into the,we're getting into the the the
real business, because there'ssome good money in this
tournament.
The winner gets half a millionthis year, which is just crazy
amounts of money for playingdarts.
(19:21):
Obviously, all the kind of andLittler's turned 18?
.
No, he's only 17.
He'll be turning 18 in the newyear, so he's still a kid.
He was six, maybe he's 18.
I beg your pardon, was he 17last year and he's turned?
He's still a kid.
Um, he was six, maybe he's 18 Ibeg your pardon.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
He could be 17 last year in his turn 18.
Yes, but he was only justturned 17, so he's.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
I don't know when his birthday is, but I can find out
, but anyway, he's a young man.
He's a young man who looks old.
That was the whole thing.
It was like he can't be thatyoung.
He's got a beard and a beerbelly.
He can't be that young, buthe's.
He's had a good year this year.
He actually won the Grand Slamin Wolverhampton and he just
seems to kind of step up whenthe pressure's on.
(20:02):
It's like okay, he can do it.
And there's Luke Humphries,obviously, which is great.
You can't look past the likesof Michael Smith and Michael Van
Gerwen.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Luke Humphries being the champion.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Luke Humphries is the current champion.
Yes, so I am expecting thistournament to throw up a few
surprises, to be full of fun,and I genuinely just love
sitting and watching the dartsfor like two and a half weeks.
I genuinely the end of it once.
Once the tournament finishes,so like it's usually, like
january, the second or januarythe third is my coca-cola lorry.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
That's my.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It's christmas it's christmas, the darts is on.
Absolutely, I couldn't agreemore.
It's it's I look for.
I genuinely look forward to it,like I used to watch darts all
the time.
I don't watch anywhere near asmuch.
I don't have the time to start.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I'm literally just christmas.
Get into it.
Oh, I should watch this morethan I don't yeah, yeah, that's
it, that is exactly it.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
You're like we could watch this throughout the year.
There's low, there's the matchplay, there's the premier league
.
Like, yeah, I might, might,tune in occasionally, but the
darts, the christmas starts.
I'm like, no, no, I'm gonnawatch the whole tournament,
every single game.
I don't care.
There's a random guy frombelgium versus some random guy
from Uzbekistan.
I'm watching it because thatguy from Uzbekistan is fucking
(21:19):
awesome he could do it.
He could do it.
It's his year, so you justnever know.
So it's such a good funtournament.
So, yeah, first look.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
How's Michael van Goor in Out of?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
form Pretty poor.
No, he's like the big, the oneswho were like going price, who
was good, he's kind of gone down.
Rob Cross, there's it's,there's some new blood coming
through well yeah new blood'scoming through the old guard are
.
They've been put on notice, Ithink some of the Peter
Snakebite right.
He's playing terribly, but thenagain you have people like Gary
(21:57):
Anderson, who's kind of comingback into form.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
And he could come and win it.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
And you've always got the likes of Barton, who's
great just to watch because it'slike a bit of a legend.
He's never going to win it, butyou never know.
You never know who's going tocause an upset on the day he
turns up and just beats somebody, but it's a great tournament.
So first look at the alleypally and by the time you listen
to this it's probably it couldbe coming towards the end.
(22:23):
So here's my tips williams,your tips if I was a betting man
.
Uh, I'm gonna go for the onlyperson I'm gonna put money on.
There's only two, and it is theluke's, humphries and littler
but last year's final lastyear's final.
I think they get the due toclash in the semi-finals this
year if they get through um, butI think one of those will win
(22:46):
it.
If someone said, go on, he's atenner, put it on someone who's
not those two, I'd be looking atmichael smith or, as an outside
bet, gary Anderson, becausehe's won it a couple of times
before you just never know.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
It could just come back and never bet against Gary
Anderson at the Alley Pally andI keep saying, one day, one day
I go Alley Pally, but then it'slike have you never been?
No, but like Christmas have younever.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
You've never been like to the darts at Christmas
at Ali Pali.
No, Walliams, we have to writethis.
Even Leanne's been to the dartsat Ali Pali at Christmas.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
No, I've not because it's quite difficult, isn't it?
Because it's Christmas and Ilive?
How many miles away?
Speaker 3 (23:27):
yeah, you don't.
You live for.
You live closer than I do.
I'm taking it next year nextyear we are having a lad's
weekend.
That can be your kind ofdelayed stag.
Do we can go to the alley paliand darts?
Did I tell you about the time Itook leslie?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I probably have told you this story before yeah, I
didn't realize it was thechristmas one.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I thought it was another time no, no, they only
do the alley pali at christmas,someone did like pac-Man, didn't
they Pac-Man?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
That was it.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
We were sat in the bleachers on the sides in the
cheap seats and like it was only20 quid a ticket, Like it
wasn't expensive and all of it.
So you're looking down at thetable and the tables are all set
out in grids like a grid system.
All of a sudden, from thesedifferent doors run all these
ghosts, waka, waka, waka waka.
Yeah, like five of them in ghostcostumes and they start running
(24:10):
at random between the tablesand everyone's like wait.
And then all of a sudden, about10 seconds later, pac-man comes
running and starts chasing themaround the tables.
And it was just.
It was.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
I mean, there's a match going on at the telly Waka
waka, waka, waka waka.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
There's two guys up there trying to win £64,000.
Like who wants?
To be millionaire and there'sthese idiots in costumes running
around these tables andeveryone's going way, way.
Could you imagine?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
that Wimbledon or something, Wimbledon final this
thing's going to go like, like,like like.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
You just start running around.
Chuck your pictures a bit andpeople wonder if it should be a
game or a sport.
I don't know.
We'll leave that up to youListeners to decide.
Oh dear, but yeah, that's myfirst look At Walliams.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Oh, lovely, well, because it's Christmas, well,
boxing Day, and before we enterthe new year of Dry, dry January
, we're going to have A bonus.
Firsty first, whee, whee, dryJanuary, we're going to have a
bonus thirsty first, hooray.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Christmas time.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Bonus thirsty first.
Happy Christmas.
Happy Christmas, bonus thirstythirst.
Happy Christmas happy Christmasis that a?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
sprout on the cover this is no, it's a psychedelic,
psychedelic looking cover that'sa sprout, that is it says it's
a candied orange pale ale thatsounds decent, actually 3.4
percent are proper, yes, a,proper b, you can actually drink
(25:57):
it without getting hammered, Ido.
I do like a candied orangeactually I don't like orange I
don't like orange, but a candiedpeel, you know, when it's like
been properly just ohfied, Iwould eat that.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I've got big hopes for this.
Although I'm not usually a fanof fruit and beer, I've got big
hopes for this.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
No, there's no blurb.
I can see.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Just crack it open and see what it's like.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
A bit psychedelic, but let's see what the sound is
like.
Oh, oh, quiet, but spillage.
More about you than the beer,though that is Quite possibly
Very much a light beer, like thelast one, because it is an IPA,
(26:47):
candied orange.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas Williams ohit's very oh, that smells like
an orange, that smells like anorange juice, basically.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Give it a go.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Cheers Will, Cheers give it a go cheers, cheers,
cheers.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
There's no the silence says it all.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I was expecting a bit more of a like a sugary, but
it's just a.
It tastes like orange juice,does it?
Speaker 3 (27:36):
like actual orange juice.
Excuse me, is there any beer-yflavour?
Speaker 1 (27:43):
no, like an orange juice, but not it looks very
confused listeners imagine apure orange juice, but watered
down you're so squash yeah aslight fizz, oh it's fizzy
(28:08):
squash.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Nice, it looks like a squash.
Actually, maybe that's all itis.
It's just fizzy robinsons yeah,that's odd.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I'd give that a how many?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
how many thumbs fingers?
Speaker 1 (28:20):
out of 11.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
7 fingers out of 11 so it's better than the carol.
Yeah, so merry christmas isbetter than carol, but like
strange, that is a.
I would drink my after so, likeseven out of eleven, is still
about 66, 67 percent consideringhe's pulling a funny face,
(28:43):
quite refreshing, pretty high itwas like a hot, hot day and a
game of tennis or something Iwould, uh, grab a pint of this
do you know the best?
Do you know the best alcoholicbeverage?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
on a hot day.
What's that?
Speaker 3 (28:59):
a rattler.
A rattler, oh, on a hot daycan't be that.
I don't got worried about thatfor six months, though, so you
go back to your own squash.
You enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yeah, anyways.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Anyways yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Anyways, boxing Day, christmas special.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Merry Christmas.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
To firsty first for you.
Look at that.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
We're spoiling you listeners.
We're spoiling you.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
So we're at the end of the episode.
So you've probably had enoughChristmas cracker jokes.
I would say Never, never.
A little Boxing Day joke foryou.
A little Boxing Day joke foryou, a little boxing.
Mike Tyson walked into a bar.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Ouch.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Ouch Another one for you.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Another one for you.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Mike Tyson and Jake Paul walked into a bar ouch,
ouch, you've got a lot of boxingday, haven't you?
You've got a lot of boxing dayfootball's always good, always
great on boxing day, isn't it?
Who's Wolves got Wolves got manUnited.
Man, lot of boxing day.
Football is always good, alwaysgreat On Boxing Day, isn't it?
And Wolves got Wolves got manUnited.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Man United on Boxing Day yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
So both Wolves and man United the squad.
They walked into a bar.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Mm-hmm.
Out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out out out out outout out out out, out, out, out,
out, out, out, out, out.
(30:45):
Bye, ouch, ouch ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch out out out out out out
(31:16):
out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out.
because you're episode three to do what you
want to do.
You gotta live your life.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Do what you want to do episode three yeah, that was
beautiful and you who sung thatoriginally was it, episode three
, I don't know.
Entrance or something.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
No, it's not Entrance no, no, no, but it's one word,
other other Google or Bing orYahoo, or however you search
your.
I should Ultranate becauseyou're free Ultranate.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Williams to do what you want to do.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
You've got to live your life.
It's Boxing Day, yay, happy.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Boxing Day Merry Christmas.
Full disclaimer.
We are recording this a fewweeks before Boxing Day, so we
hope, we hope this is actuallycoming out on Boxing Day and
you're listening to this happy,full of turkey.
We, because we're stupid, weare going to talk about things
(01:19):
that are pre-Christmas, eventhough you're going to listen to
this post-Christmas or duringChristmas.
But you know what?
That's half the fun.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
It's like a nice little time capsule going back
to a few weeks ago To remindyourself of life before
Christmas, but it's our knownChristmas party, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
It is what we're doing, william.
Is that we and?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
what does that mean?
That means firsty-first Whee.
And for does that mean thatmeans thirsty first, whey, whey.
And for those that listened tothe last episode, I've still not
changed my setup, so excuse me,whilst I try to get to the
thirsty first, fridge.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Trying to get to the fridge, making it look much more
awkward than it needs to.
I'm going to Well, because Ihave a can ready to open for our
Christmas party.
While you're searching for yourbeer, I'm going to see if I can
get the sound effect.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Is this the first of us?
No, it's not.
It's the first of.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
It's the same thing.
I always drink yes WhitewaterBrewery from Northern Ireland.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So first the first.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
What have we got, Wiles?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
This is not the first time I've had the brewing
company, but it's definitely thefirst time I've had this one,
so this is a.
I don't know if you can seethat this is from the Brewing
Company Neon Raptor and it'scalled, and it's called Carol.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
And it's got a Christmas Carol guy on the front
.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And it must be linked to something that I'm not too
sure reference.
Do you know the reference?
You're more up to date withcultural things I have zero idea
it's a red label.
It's a, a chap that looks likehe's at an office christmas
party.
He's got his tie on, he's got acigarette in his fingers,
(03:03):
wearing a Christmas hat.
It's called Carol, with anexclamation mark Carol.
It's an IPA.
It's a 6.6%.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
It's brewed in Nottingham.
Oh nice, our old stompingground, our old stomping ground
and it says Ho, ho, ho and daybo bo to you, carol in HR.
Sorry, carol in HR supplied uswith lashings of Idaho 7,
(03:38):
uconaut, mosaic Cryo and NelsonSalvin hops.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
There you go.
That's why it's called Carol,obviously.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
It sounds like poisonous chemicals to me For
elements of mango, lime andgooseberry.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
If drank worse, get it in your arse.
Let's see what it's like.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
There we go.
It's a little.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Just a note, william, to listeners, it's pungent.
Has it got a smell?
When he reads the label,listeners, he does it one eye
closed, one eye open, as if he'slooking at a dictionary or the
Britannia Encyclopedia.
Nope, just the label of thebeer.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was a.
I was a grolier man when I wasa kid a grolier man yes what's a
Grolier?
Man when I was a kid.
A Grolier man.
Yes, what's a Grolier?
Grolier Sounds like a growth.
So you said Britannica.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
So Grolier were the competitors Okay.
G-r-o-l-i-r.
I think you do like to bedifferent, don't you?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
We had a salesperson that came round to sell the
encyclopedia books wow see, wehad a.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
This is a blast from the past.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
We had Encarta so we just got the letter B like the
episode of friends with Joey.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
We I never read an encyclopedia, but I remember our
school had an RM Nimbus PC witha CD-ROM.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yes, I think we yes.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
It had Encarta.
The Encarta DigitalEncyclopedia.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Which, at the time, was just mind-blowing.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Before the internet it was like so much information
on CDs and videos.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
You could watch videos on the computer.
Like wow, this is justunbelievable From a CD.
Yeah, it's the future.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Today.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
And if all quids in, we can release an update CD next
year, uh-huh 30 year plan wasthere.
So I've just pulled it.
It's quite a very light number.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Looks lovely.
What's the verdict?
Yeah, nice.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
It's refreshing, doesn't taste very alcoholic
6.6%.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
You've got to be careful with that.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
But it doesn't taste.
Oh, a bit of a, a bit of a Toit.
I love how serious he takesthis.
Listeners, it doesn't taste.
Oh, a bit of a, a bit of a Toit yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
I love how serious he takes this listeners.
He's like, oh yeah, he's likemm.
Getting around these chopsmaking the noises.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Could you imagine if I actually had some decent vocab
for these reviews?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Yeah, it's very.
It's very beery, it's uh.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Yeah nice, mmm, it's very beer-y, mmm, it's beer.
Yeah nice, I mean I would.
I feel like I'm becoming itmight be more of my age.
I'm becoming more of a darkerbeer man.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Oh yes.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Because it's been branded as a Christmas beer.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
What makes it Christmassy?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Carol, I'm the man with a Christmas hat.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Just the label basically.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Just the label.
So that's kind of put me off abit.
I'm like Christmas has got totaste like Christmas.
Yeah, Like the sticky tofupudding that tastes like
Christmas pudding on theprevious episode.
So that's going to knock itdown and I know you wanted a
number of gnome fingers out often.
How many fingers, even thoughgnomes have 11 fingers, but
(07:05):
gnomes have 11 fingers they dowell then, it's 2 out of 11.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
If that's what it is, how many?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
well, it's not.
It's not worth 11, it's noteven worth talking about well,
how many out of 11 would yougive it?
I would 6.5 6.5 out of 11fingers yeah, 6 and a half out
of 11 fingers.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, six and a half.
We won't be approaching thecount.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
But no, it's nice.
It is nice, but I wantsomething a bit more Christmassy
.
First looks.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
First looks.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
First looks.
So this is not a new thing.
I mean, if anything, it'smillions of years old probably,
but, as listeners are probablyaware and you definitely are, mr
Hodgkiss- Cornwall's an oddplace.
(07:57):
Oh, very, very odd place,beautiful, beautifully odd, I
like to think.
I know quite a bit aboutCornwall, but it still it keeps
outstanding me.
It keeps, it keeps keeps, keepsoutstanding you keeps, keeps
what's the word?
It keeps surprising me andkeeps, keeps me on my toes and
it keeps.
Yeah, sorry, yeah it.
(08:29):
Yeah, every day just gives you alittle surprise and something
new that I didn't didn't realize.
Oh, I'm looking forward to it.
Yesterday or the day beforeyesterday, and just on the
socials, and and, yeah, you getthese random videos that pop up,
based on your algorithms orwhatever.
(08:49):
So, um, your star wars,strippers and all this other
stuff that pops up in youralgorithms.
And, um, listen back to seasonone, um, if you haven't already
listened this.
But um, season one, um, if youhaven't already listened to this
(09:10):
.
But, um, something popped upabout, uh, about cornwall.
Oh, it's about cool.
So have a little, uh, a little,watch this video.
And, um, I didn't realize andthis is, this is a fact.
You might even know yourselfand I still can't get my head
around how it happens, butCornwall rises up and down with
(09:32):
the tide.
It actually goes up and downwith the tide.
So so okay, explain so, due tothe tide, Devon and Cornwall,
they move up and down by 10 to15 centimetres twice a day.
Wow.
(09:53):
So when the tide rises aroundthe Peninsular Cove because
there's so many caves andtunnels and things that go
underneath.
You're buoyant, so, yeah, yeah,so, which I just didn't realize.
So when, when the tide rises onthe coast, it has the effect of
(10:13):
compressing the I'm readingthis from the blurb but it has
the effect of compressing theland and pushing it down.
Um, and this wasn't reallyknown until, I mean a little
while ago, about 2003, which isquite recent really.
Yeah, in 2003, a survey by drmatt king, who was working on
the project um, he said thecornish coast has the biggest
(10:35):
tides in britain, which resultin it having the biggest bounce.
So when the tide rises, theweight of water on the
continental shelf aroundCornwall increases and the
county sinks into the Earth'scrust.
Wow, and according to Dr King,when the tide goes out, the
weight lifts off and Cornwallbounces back up.
(10:56):
Do they call?
Speaker 3 (10:58):
it, the Cornwall Bounce.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
They don't call it the Cornwall Bounce.
They could do, why not theyshould?
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Give it a brand.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Well, they don't call it the Corn Bounce.
They could do, why not?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
It's called the Corn Bounce.
Give it a brand.
So apparently the survey isusing American satellites to map
the movements around 30different stations all over
Britain, measuring all theshifts to the nearest millimeter
, and so far the biggest bouncehas been recorded in Redruth and
(11:24):
Camborne, the southwest groundstation.
Oh nice, With bounces measuringmore than four inches.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Well, williams, I mean four inches in Redruth.
I'm not going to say thatthat's standard.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Four inches is massive.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Four inches is it's a pretty good bounce.
I've heard Four inches is afour inches is it's a pretty
good bounce.
I've heard four inches hashtaggood bounce um, isn't that crazy
?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
so literally just bouncing up and down every day
very slowly, but still well,yeah, right, yeah, but per day.
That's quite quick, really,isn't it four inches.
You think how big four inchesis?
It's massive and it will go upand down by four inches every
day, that's up and up.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Up, up four inches and down four inches twice a day
yeah, up and down up and up anddown, and up and down on four
inches, yeah, um isn't thatcrazy, but I thought that was
really interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
might, might just be me it genuinely is interesting.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
You wouldn't think that you just assume that the
land just continues and joinsthe seabed.
You wouldn't think there wasthat much hollow space
underneath it that it wouldactually rise up so effectively.
Then, if we had a big enoughsaw, we could cut Cornwall off,
just cut it and push it into thesea and it'd just float away.
(12:47):
Amazing, wow, wow.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Wow, wow, Mr Archicus .
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Well, well, well.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
So Cornwall is.
I think I've told you thisbefore, but Cornwall is very
different.
So Cornwall actually is a lotof its.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
It is very different, ladies and gentlemen.
It is.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
So Cornwall actually is a lot of its.
It is very different, ladiesand gentlemen, it is Because I
told you before we're slightlyradioactive, so our minerals and
Slightly radioactive we are soradon.
So all our minerals and rocksunder Cornwall is very different
than the rest of Britain and itgives off a lot of radon, which
is a radioactive thing.
It gives off a lot of radon,which is a radioactive yes,
(13:23):
Right, but it matches closely toBrittany in France.
Yeah, and that's because you goback.
Scientists have written andcorrected me, but you go back
200,000 years.
We were actually probably morelikely connected to France.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Ooh, la la.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
And then we sort of you know however it works,
disconnected from it and thenended up connecting to the
British trials as the tectonicplate shifted.
Yes, disconnected from Franceand became British so we left
France and we connected out ofBritain, and then we've just
been bobbing up and down eversince, moving on from four
(14:10):
inches tips tips for dads tipsfor dads.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Tips for dads.
Tips for dads, tips for dads.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
We've got some tips for dads.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Get your tips out for the dads.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Yeah.
So, williams, this week we arelooking at tips for dads.
As this is going on Boxing Day,we are looking for tips for
dads who are struggling, shallwe say, with family members.
Just before we get into thetips, wells, do you enjoy the
family time at Christmas, or areyou kind of more of a recluse
(14:44):
and shut the door and leave mealone?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It depends if I've won the Christmas board game or
not really.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Is that it?
What is the Christmas boardgame of choice?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Of my choice that I've not made for the last 10
years Monopoly.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Well, I suppose you have to be careful what you say,
because you're probablylistening to this podcast as
well.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I'm not allowed to play Monopoly.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Why is that?
Because you get angry.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
No because I win, Because you win yes.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Is that because you're tired, I'm good at
Monopoly.
How are you good at Monopoly?
Is it a game of chance?
Speaker 1 (15:16):
my wife, who she actually played Monopoly with me
about four years ago now, butshe referred to me as Donald
Trump.
So yeah, moving on, tips fordads, tips for dads.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
So here's three tips for dads who are struggling with
it all.
So don't overbook yourselves.
A lot of the time, valiums, youget overbooked.
You've got to say no to a fewthings you do.
It's not necessarily the peoplethat you are seeing that breaks
you, it's the volume of peopleyou're having to see.
(15:47):
It's like, okay, on this daywe'll go and see auntie pat, on
that day we'll go and see auntiesandra, and the next day we'll
go and see don't spread your joywithin no, no, because it's
nice to celebrate, but mostpeople kind of go out.
that's why Fridays and Saturdaysare good.
You go out and have good times,but you can do it every night.
So if you go and spend a wholeweek just seeing people, it's
(16:09):
lovely, but it's very much liketicking a box.
And, yeah, I'd suggest holdinga party, have a party at your
house or something.
Get it all over done in one bigblast.
The other tip I would say islike, if you struggle and you're
a bit like, oh, I've got to goand see this person, and I've
had this situation a few timeswhere I'm like we've got to go
and see such and such and I justdon't want to.
(16:32):
You have to because you know, bea good person person but have a
secret code word.
So it's like if it's time to go, you can be like, uh, we need
to go and have some, get somegravy, gravy, yep, uh, need to
stop, remember to get some gravy, and the code word there would
be gravy, yeah.
So it's like okay, we need to,we need to make a move now it's
(16:52):
time to to go, and one that Iheard about was just it's genius
.
It's one of those things whereyou're like no.
But the guy who told me aboutit was like I can actually see
you doing this.
He said he bought a foghorn oneyear and he said, as soon as he
got Like a, like one of thoseones where, yeah, like one of
(17:15):
those, like a big-ass foghorn.
So when someone's being a bitinappropriate or starting to
talk about something that couldsay, just blew, it Just blew the
foghorn.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I was just like.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I love that as an idea.
Like I won't be bold enough todo it, but so yeah.
So those are the tips.
Don't overbook yourselves, havea secret code word and bring a
foghorn.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
And on to your first look, Mr Hodgkiss.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Right, so my first look is probably the same first
look I did last year and it'sprobably the same first look I
did the year before that,because this time of year, Well,
you can't have more than onefirst look, because it's the
first look.
Well, because the years changenow, so it's first look for this
year.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Okay, oh, not celebrity.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Oh, no, no, I'm a celebrity is fantastic.
I have done that a couple ofyears in a row, but this one
it's all about.
If I was to say to you Wells,do, do, do, do, do, da, da, da,
(18:39):
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
One of the greats, becausethere are so many players who
could potentially cause an upsetand do it well.
Um, I have been watching, so Ihad a first look at a new show
that they've released, adocumentary called um game of
throws.
It's on sky documentaries, it'sa three-part series and it
follows the darts players lastyear, the 2024, 2023, 2024 alley
pally tournament, and it'sbrilliant to get a real, an
insight into, like, just hownormal guys are.
(19:00):
It's really good.
Um, so give it a like, uh, giveit a watch, but by boxing day
now we're getting, we're gettinginto the, we're getting to last
32.
Um, we're getting into the,we're getting into the the the
real business, because there'ssome good money in this
tournament.
The winner gets half a millionthis year, which is just crazy
amounts of money for playingdarts.
(19:21):
Obviously, all the kind of andLittler's turned 18?
.
No, he's only 17.
He'll be turning 18 in the newyear, so he's still a kid.
He was six, maybe he's 18.
I beg your pardon, was he 17last year and he's turned?
He's still a kid.
Um, he was six, maybe he's 18 Ibeg your pardon.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
He could be 17 last year in his turn 18.
Yes, but he was only justturned 17, so he's.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
I don't know when his birthday is, but I can find out
, but anyway, he's a young man.
He's a young man who looks old.
That was the whole thing.
It was like he can't be thatyoung.
He's got a beard and a beerbelly.
He can't be that young, buthe's.
He's had a good year this year.
He actually won the Grand Slamin Wolverhampton and he just
seems to kind of step up whenthe pressure's on.
(20:02):
It's like okay, he can do it.
And there's Luke Humphries,obviously, which is great.
You can't look past the likesof Michael Smith and Michael Van
Gerwen.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Luke Humphries being the champion.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Luke Humphries is the current champion.
Yes, so I am expecting thistournament to throw up a few
surprises, to be full of fun,and I genuinely just love
sitting and watching the dartsfor like two and a half weeks.
I genuinely the end of it once.
Once the tournament finishes,so like it's usually, like
january, the second or januarythe third is my coca-cola lorry.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
That's my.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It's christmas it's christmas, the darts is on.
Absolutely, I couldn't agreemore.
It's it's I look for.
I genuinely look forward to it,like I used to watch darts all
the time.
I don't watch anywhere near asmuch.
I don't have the time to start.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I'm literally just christmas.
Get into it.
Oh, I should watch this morethan I don't yeah, yeah, that's
it, that is exactly it.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
You're like we could watch this throughout the year.
There's low, there's the matchplay, there's the premier league
.
Like, yeah, I might, might,tune in occasionally, but the
darts, the christmas starts.
I'm like, no, no, I'm gonnawatch the whole tournament,
every single game.
I don't care.
There's a random guy frombelgium versus some random guy
from Uzbekistan.
I'm watching it because thatguy from Uzbekistan is fucking
(21:19):
awesome he could do it.
He could do it.
It's his year, so you justnever know.
So it's such a good funtournament.
So, yeah, first look.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
How's Michael van Goor in Out of?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
form Pretty poor.
No, he's like the big, the oneswho were like going price, who
was good, he's kind of gone down.
Rob Cross, there's it's,there's some new blood coming
through well yeah new blood'scoming through the old guard are
.
They've been put on notice, Ithink some of the Peter
Snakebite right.
He's playing terribly, but thenagain you have people like Gary
(21:57):
Anderson, who's kind of comingback into form.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
And he could come and win it.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
And you've always got the likes of Barton, who's
great just to watch because it'slike a bit of a legend.
He's never going to win it, butyou never know.
You never know who's going tocause an upset on the day he
turns up and just beats somebody, but it's a great tournament.
So first look at the alleypally and by the time you listen
to this it's probably it couldbe coming towards the end.
(22:23):
So here's my tips williams,your tips if I was a betting man
.
Uh, I'm gonna go for the onlyperson I'm gonna put money on.
There's only two, and it is theluke's, humphries and littler
but last year's final lastyear's final.
I think they get the due toclash in the semi-finals this
year if they get through um, butI think one of those will win
(22:46):
it.
If someone said, go on, he's atenner, put it on someone who's
not those two, I'd be looking atmichael smith or, as an outside
bet, gary Anderson, becausehe's won it a couple of times
before you just never know.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
It could just come back and never bet against Gary
Anderson at the Alley Pally andI keep saying, one day, one day
I go Alley Pally, but then it'slike have you never been?
No, but like Christmas have younever.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
You've never been like to the darts at Christmas
at Ali Pali.
No, Walliams, we have to writethis.
Even Leanne's been to the dartsat Ali Pali at Christmas.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
No, I've not because it's quite difficult, isn't it?
Because it's Christmas and Ilive?
How many miles away?
Speaker 3 (23:27):
yeah, you don't.
You live for.
You live closer than I do.
I'm taking it next year nextyear we are having a lad's
weekend.
That can be your kind ofdelayed stag.
Do we can go to the alley paliand darts?
Did I tell you about the time Itook leslie?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I probably have told you this story before yeah, I
didn't realize it was thechristmas one.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I thought it was another time no, no, they only
do the alley pali at christmas,someone did like pac-Man, didn't
they Pac-Man?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
That was it.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
We were sat in the bleachers on the sides in the
cheap seats and like it was only20 quid a ticket, Like it
wasn't expensive and all of it.
So you're looking down at thetable and the tables are all set
out in grids like a grid system.
All of a sudden, from thesedifferent doors run all these
ghosts, waka, waka, waka waka.
Yeah, like five of them in ghostcostumes and they start running
(24:10):
at random between the tablesand everyone's like wait.
And then all of a sudden, about10 seconds later, pac-man comes
running and starts chasing themaround the tables.
And it was just.
It was.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
I mean, there's a match going on at the telly Waka
waka, waka, waka waka.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
There's two guys up there trying to win £64,000.
Like who wants?
To be millionaire and there'sthese idiots in costumes running
around these tables andeveryone's going way, way.
Could you imagine?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
that Wimbledon or something, Wimbledon final this
thing's going to go like, like,like like.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
You just start running around.
Chuck your pictures a bit andpeople wonder if it should be a
game or a sport.
I don't know.
We'll leave that up to youListeners to decide.
Oh dear, but yeah, that's myfirst look At Walliams.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Oh, lovely, well, because it's Christmas, well,
boxing Day, and before we enterthe new year of Dry, dry January
, we're going to have A bonus.
Firsty first, whee, whee, dryJanuary, we're going to have a
bonus thirsty first, hooray.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Christmas time.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Bonus thirsty first.
Happy Christmas.
Happy Christmas, bonus thirstythirst.
Happy Christmas happy Christmasis that a?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
sprout on the cover this is no, it's a psychedelic,
psychedelic looking cover that'sa sprout, that is it says it's
a candied orange pale ale thatsounds decent, actually 3.4
percent are proper, yes, a,proper b, you can actually drink
(25:57):
it without getting hammered, Ido.
I do like a candied orangeactually I don't like orange I
don't like orange, but a candiedpeel, you know, when it's like
been properly just ohfied, Iwould eat that.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I've got big hopes for this.
Although I'm not usually a fanof fruit and beer, I've got big
hopes for this.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
No, there's no blurb.
I can see.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Just crack it open and see what it's like.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
A bit psychedelic, but let's see what the sound is
like.
Oh, oh, quiet, but spillage.
More about you than the beer,though that is Quite possibly
Very much a light beer, like thelast one, because it is an IPA,
(26:47):
candied orange.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas Williams ohit's very oh, that smells like
an orange, that smells like anorange juice, basically.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Give it a go.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Cheers Will, Cheers give it a go cheers, cheers,
cheers.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
There's no the silence says it all.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I was expecting a bit more of a like a sugary, but
it's just a.
It tastes like orange juice,does it?
Speaker 3 (27:36):
like actual orange juice.
Excuse me, is there any beer-yflavour?
Speaker 1 (27:43):
no, like an orange juice, but not it looks very
confused listeners imagine apure orange juice, but watered
down you're so squash yeah aslight fizz, oh it's fizzy
(28:08):
squash.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Nice, it looks like a squash.
Actually, maybe that's all itis.
It's just fizzy robinsons yeah,that's odd.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I'd give that a how many?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
how many thumbs fingers?
Speaker 1 (28:20):
out of 11.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
7 fingers out of 11 so it's better than the carol.
Yeah, so merry christmas isbetter than carol, but like
strange, that is a.
I would drink my after so, likeseven out of eleven, is still
about 66, 67 percent consideringhe's pulling a funny face,
(28:43):
quite refreshing, pretty high itwas like a hot, hot day and a
game of tennis or something Iwould, uh, grab a pint of this
do you know the best?
Do you know the best alcoholicbeverage?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
on a hot day.
What's that?
Speaker 3 (28:59):
a rattler.
A rattler, oh, on a hot daycan't be that.
I don't got worried about thatfor six months, though, so you
go back to your own squash.
You enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yeah, anyways.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Anyways yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Anyways, boxing Day, christmas special.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Merry Christmas.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
To firsty first for you.
Look at that.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
We're spoiling you listeners.
We're spoiling you.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
So we're at the end of the episode.
So you've probably had enoughChristmas cracker jokes.
I would say Never, never.
A little Boxing Day joke foryou.
A little Boxing Day joke foryou, a little boxing.
Mike Tyson walked into a bar.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Ouch.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Ouch Another one for you.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Another one for you.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Mike Tyson and Jake Paul walked into a bar ouch,
ouch, you've got a lot of boxingday, haven't you?
You've got a lot of boxing dayfootball's always good, always
great on boxing day, isn't it?
Who's Wolves got Wolves got manUnited.
Man, lot of boxing day.
Football is always good, alwaysgreat On Boxing Day, isn't it?
And Wolves got Wolves got manUnited.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Man United on Boxing Day yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
So both Wolves and man United the squad.
They walked into a bar.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Mm-hmm.
Out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out out out out outout out out out, out, out, out,
out, out, out, out, out.
(30:45):
Bye, ouch, ouch ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch out out out out out out
(31:16):
out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out out out out outout out out out out out out out
out out out out.
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