August 14, 2025 • 18 mins
A short, hilarious comedy podcast throwback from First Look Gnomes.
In this Gnome Vault episode, we revisit:
🪓 Cornish Knockers – strange and cheeky mining folklore from Cornwall
🎱 Live Championship Snooker – the slowest sport with the funniest moments
💨 The Fart That Started It All – comedy history you didn’t know you needed
If you love funny short stories, British humour, and weird history, this quick episode will make you laugh, cringe, and probably Google something afterwards.
🎧 Follow First Look Gnomes for more short comedy episodes packed with unpredictable humour and oddball nostalgia.
Click here via your Mobile Device to send us a message!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I want to discuss the , the phenomenon that is the
starter fart now I have no ideawhat this is, but please, please
enlighten me.
It's something that's I mean,it's happened to me.
I don't know if it's just me orit's something that Just to
clarify.
Did you say starter fart,starter fart, the starter fart?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
The starter fart.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Repeat the starter fart.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
The starter fart.
So it's the phenomenon that is.
So my body has seemed to havetrained itself like an alarm
clock I basically built seemedto have trained itself like an
alarm clock.
I don't know if that's linkedto episode two, my snoring and
the way I'm breathing, et cetera, et cetera, but I seem to sort
(00:53):
of build up a lot of gas and Iget very gassy.
And then around 7 o'clock, whenmy alarm goes off, I just
suddenly just wake up having ahuge starter fart.
Okay, that start basicallystarts my day.
So I don't know, is that, isthat just me?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
is that so?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
your first look is actually your first look
discussing the phenomenon.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Okay, okay well, I I I commend you.
I'm bringing this to ourlisteners attention.
I think it's an important topicto discuss, but it absolutely
is too many.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Is it me on my own, or a lot of other listeners out
there that have the sameexperience?
Well, it's um and theirpartners you know.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
You know it's brave of you.
I'm just gonna say one ofthem's.
As a fellow man, I commend youfor bringing this to the table
and I just want you to know thatthis is a safe space.
This is a safe space to talkabout your startup arts.
Thank you.
Now, to comfort you and consoleyou, I can confirm that most
(02:03):
mornings when I wake up, I willalso do a will pass wind
williams, I will, I will is it astarter fart?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
so does it wake you?
Are you quite regular, are youlike you know?
Six o'clock, seven o'clock,half a seven on the clock every
day.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well, I mean, I mean that that could you could say
that's not necessarily a bodilyfunction, that's possibly to do
with your alarm going off, thatyou wake up and then your body
starts to move.
You know, you've been in a,you've been in a tranquil state
of sleep, and then you wake upand you're like, oh, I'm
starting to stretch, yeah, andit moves the gas bubble.
Yeah, so I wouldn't necessarilysay it's your body has been
timed into it.
I'd say it's more to do withthe fact that you set your alarm
(02:43):
for half six in the morning.
Your alarm goes off and thattriggers the body to move.
Yeah, so I would say now, again, this is where we can, this is
where we can throw it open toour lovely listeners.
There is probably somebiological explanation to why
men and I'm assuming, women do,maybe they just don't do it with
(03:05):
such gusto.
You know, you're, you'reprobably like a jet engine
rolling over and is, you know,real good starter, whereas women
are probably more like and youknow, because that's, you know,
that's, that's what.
That's what women do,apparently.
But I'm sure one of ourwonderful listeners can comment
(03:26):
on the biological reasons.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
There's some great science behind it, or anything
like that as well.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
But I imagine it's just because of the sedentary
nature of sleep.
You just lie there.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
The body still produces the gas, and then when?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
you wake up in the morning, take a deep breath.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
And your bowel thought moves the alarms
triggering the stratopharm, asopposed to I would say so.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I mean your circadian rhythm may be that in tune that
you have just trained yourflatulence to erupt at a certain
time, but I think that'sunlikely.
But again, I'm not a scientist,I am not.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
I'm neither a fart expert nor a scientist you may
fart more in the morning due toseveral reasons relaxation of
the anal sphincter.
During sleep, the analsphincter relaxes, making it
easier for gas to escape whenyou wake up.
Digestive processes your bodycontinues to digest food
(04:32):
overnight, which can lead to gasbuild-up that is released in
the morning.
Dietary factors, foods consumedthe previous day, especially
those high in fiber, or certaincarbohydrates, can contribute to
increased gas production.
If excessive gas is a concern,consider evaluating your diet
(04:54):
and consulting a healthcareprofessional for personalised
advice.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
The phenomenon of the start of art.
Yes, you're not alone, Williams, you're not alone.
We're here to support you.
I know I am at the moment, butyeah, no, no, no, I admit in the
mornings will generally do ayeah, I will pass wind, yeah,
and.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I told you I'd lower the tone.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
You did lower the tone, whoa, but I enjoy doing
things I haven't done before.
You know, you think you've gotto try these things, so you
never know when you're going tostumble upon something that's
brilliant.
So recently.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
You don't need to show yours and your lovely
wife's person.
I've heard no, no, no, youdon't need to go there.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Nobody needs to know about any of that.
Thank you very much.
But recently I had my firstexperience of live snooker.
The Northern Irish Openhappened recently at the
waterfront hall in belfast andthe tickets were pretty cheap
and for a couple years I've beenquite fancy doing that.
So this year I I put my hand inmy pocket we I trundled along
(06:04):
to the waterfront hall to seewhat live sneak was all about.
So now I I would admit I am afan of snooker, but it's one of
those sports where or games,however you, wherever you sit on
the fence, I I enjoy watchingit because I can then fall
asleep to it.
It's one of those ones I'm likeoh yeah, sunday afternoon I'm
gonna sit, I'm gonna watch acouple, I'm gonna watch like six
hours of snooker and I'llprobably only actually watch 10
(06:27):
minutes of it because I'lleither be on my phone doing
something nonsensical or I'llfall asleep to it.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
But I've always enjoyed watching it as I say,
because, like with golf, I likegolf, but watching it I find it
quite relaxing.
So I imagine snook is quite arelaxing sport or game to watch
it is.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
So I wasn't really sure what to expect going to
watch it live, because obviouslynow I've got a big thing for
hazel Irvine.
So it's the BBC speakerpresenter.
I think she shits all overGabby Logan, not literally, I
just think she's a much betterfemale sports presenter.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Gabby Logan, if you're listening, you want to
become a guest speaker on ourpodcast.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
No, she's not welcome Williams.
To be honest, she's not welcome.
I don't like her at all.
Her and Matt Hancock can go inthe jungle together.
Sorry, gabby, hazel, irvine,all day, every day, come and
talk to us her please, pleasewrite into first.
look gnomes at outlookcom youhave, you have, you have fans,
but you know you watch that andthere's a bit of better
(07:28):
presenting.
So I thought, if I can't watchthe snooker live, what happens?
How does this all work?
So it was interesting, but I'lljust, I'll just get to the
conclusion because I won't boreyou with it all.
It's a bit shit live.
Yeah, I I went and I sat thereand I there was three tables on
and I was like you know, Iwasn't very close.
So first of all, I got there anhour late because I was an
(07:49):
idiot, because I was.
I looked on a website you knowwhat, what sports matches are on
, to try and see who was playing.
I was like what sports are onat what times?
And it was like snookercom orsomething and they were
obviously in a different timezone and I worked it out wrong.
I was like, oh yeah, I'll getthere for 8 o'clock or like
quarter to 8.
(08:10):
All the matches that start at 7.
So I had to sneak in veryquietly, get myself a seat and I
sat there and I was like, okay,so what happens now?
Everyone just sits there incomplete silence.
You just hear a couple ofpeople chuntering away.
You, you've got three tables tokind of watch.
So I kind of don't know whereto look.
I'm like, which one should Iwatch?
Okay, go for the middle one, gofor the middle one, watch that.
(08:30):
But you're so far away andthere's no commentary.
Like it's a lot different whenyou watch on the tv and they
kind of say, you know the drawon the tv screen and the draw
around the ball, and they'relike, oh yeah, say what he's
going to do, he's going to gofor this ball, it's going to
spin back, and you're like no,he's not.
And then when they do it you'reall impressed like holy crap,
how did john virgo know that?
That's exactly what he's goingto do?
And they draw the little.
They draw the little, they drawthe circle where they think the
(08:52):
white ball needs to go and thewhite ball goes in there.
And that's brilliant.
When you're there there's noone drawing on the tables or the
TVs.
Williams.
No, no, you kind of you don'tknow what the snooker player is
thinking, because you justthey're going oh he's going to.
He's going to try and put aball oh, he's part of the ball.
Yeah, or occasionally I'll missa ball and I go, but it's.
(09:14):
I was just like I'd ratherwatch this on the telly.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
This is a bit crap I uh, I had a first look at any
players that you wanted to likesee in the flesh.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Well, yeah, I saw.
Who did I say?
Now, I saw the jester fromleicester.
We saw yeah, I'm trying tothink of his name.
I can remember he's like theworld number two Flip me.
I saw Mark Allen, whoeventually went on to win the
competition.
Mark Selby, that's the jesterfrom Leicester.
I beg your pardon.
See, that's how impressive itwas, williams, there was three
tables and I can remember MarkAllen.
(09:46):
I can remember Mark Selby.
Sean Murphy no, that wasn'tSean Murphy.
No, that wasn't Sean Murphy, itwas another guy.
Anyway, I'm boring myselftalking about it.
This is a public serviceannouncement.
If you're into snooker, justkeep watching it on the telly.
Don't go and watch it live.
There's not much to do.
It's good advice.
The people who were there, whowere like in a group and stuff,
were getting leathered anddrinking lots of beer, but again
(10:08):
, it wasn't boisterous.
You're watching okay so this isalong the line of the blue
buttocks that we looked at lasttime.
Cornish knockers, cornishknockers.
Yes, I just think.
Yeah, cornish knockers.
(10:28):
That's not quite what Iexpected, williams.
I don't know what you expected,craig.
I was expecting a pair ofbounty bosoms.
These are actual littlecreature things yes, please, yes
, please explain.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah.
So, cornish knockers, I mean,I'll let you read the little
blurb on that picture at somepoint, if you can see it or not.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
It doesn't matter if not, we can read it out for the
listeners.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah, if you can see it, yeah, why not?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Okay.
Do I need to do it in myNorfolk Cornish accent?
No, probably not.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
I'll just speak normally.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Cornish knockers, small, thin limbed creatures
with large, hooked noses.
They knock with their hammersto indicate a vein of ore, so
gaining their name.
Although friendly to the miners, unlike the German kobolds,
they need to be treated withrespect.
Whistling and swearing oftenoffends them.
We're screwed then.
And what's that say?
(11:18):
and it's not in a very as agraphic designer, I must say
this font is just atrocious it'squite difficult to read,
offends them, and food or tallowmust be left for them or they
will become angry.
They also dislike the sign ofthe cross, and so the miners
must avoid marking anything withone for fear of annoying the
little people.
The knockers are close cousinsto the welsh knockers are close
(11:45):
cousins to the welsh coplanuyeah, I don't know, I don't know
who also inhabit mines.
They can still be found in someof the abandoned tin mines
waiting for the for the shaftsto be reopened.
Well hey, there are many talesof these little people in
cornwall.
One of the more well-known talesof dangers of annoying the
knockers, a, a miner called TomTrevor refused to share his
pasty with the knockers.
What a son of a.
(12:06):
He didn't share his pasty.
No, he didn't share his pasty.
No, what a bastard With theknockers.
One lunchtime the next day, arock fall nearly killed him.
Only his tools were crushed bythe rocks.
The miner suffered fromcontinuous bad luck after that,
until he was forced to leave themine for his own safety.
That's from Fairies of Folkloreof the British Isles, available
from Amazon or A World of Magic, myth and Legend.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, so Cornish knockers are quite a well-known
myth and legend down my way downin Cornwall, actually related
to the gnomes.
Actually they're in the gnomefamily, related to Piskies,
gnomes, elves.
In the gnome family, related topisces, gnomes, elves, all that
sort of groups I thoughtappropriate appropriate to bring
up in the first little namespodcast.
Oh, you're good you're as far asI was, where the knockers
(12:52):
cornish knockers were.
They lived the mines and Ithought they sort of they used
to sort of knock down thetunnels and the miners would go
down looking what was going on,leave their pasties behind.
Cornish knockers would comealong and steal the pasties.
That was the legend.
(13:12):
I was brought up with Tinmining, so tin mining started in
Cornwall around 4,000 years ago.
Unbelievable Traded tin.
So us Cornish, we traded tinwith the Romans 4,000 years ago.
4,000 years ago UnbelievableTraded tin.
So us Cornish, we traded tinwith the Romans 4,000 years ago.
4,000 years ago.
So us Cornish were trading tinwith the Romans.
That's mad, isn't it?
Yes, and that is why they callCornwall Swiss cheese Down here.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
We just there's so many mines underground.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
We've got mines and all sorts underneath us that
we're not even aware of.
Do you suffer from earthquakesdown there?
Earthquakes there have beenearthquakes?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
yeah, Are there kind of yeah, we do and we get.
Collapses and sinkholes andstuff.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yeah, I mean, well, actually my shop is right next
to a mineshaft.
Hmm, so if one day the podcastgets cut short, william, no, hmm
, so one day the podcast getscut short?
(14:13):
But uh, I remember as a, as achild, my grand tell me a story
of someone in the village thatwas.
She was literally outsidehanging a washing up on the line
.
Gone, mine chat open, gone.
So yeah, it's a crazy worlddown here.
But, um, so, all the houses andwhen you buy houses, when you
get a mortgage, you have to makesure you get like a mine shaft
survey done and all that sortsof stuff.
That's crazy.
(14:34):
Yeah, what sort of stuff.
We've got so, so much humanactivity.
The mines gave a rise to thesetales of miniature figures
underground passing on warningsor causing harm, also known as
the knacker or the bookerapparently Booker, the booker,
which is Welsh or the Tommyknocker.
So that's where our audience inthe States, the Tommy knockers,
(14:58):
tommy knockers, the knockers,derive from similar origins as
the leprechauns and brownies.
Legends claim they're only twofoot tall and live underground.
In other legends, the knockingacts as a warning of an
impending cave-in.
That's quite helpful the spiritsmight like practical jokes, but
they took the safety of theminers very seriously.
(15:18):
These knockers.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Well, they obviously don't seem all bad then.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
No, no I think they're quite good.
Miners also took care to leavepart of their dinner usually a
Cornish pasty, for the knockers.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I'm not going to lie, williams.
It's a strange place, cornish.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
People chant at the Gnome President's Rally.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Was that?
What do people chant at theGnome President's Rally?
Yes, I don't know what dopeople chant?
What the gnomes chant at thegnomes president's rally or go
gnome go big or go gnome soundeffects needed sound effects
needed you can get this one.
You can get this one have yougot a tumbleweed sound?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
you'll know this one great.
What is a gnome's favoriteshakespeare play?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
nomio and juliet.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yes, very nice, very nice what did the adult human
say?
So with this one I think youwill need to do the accent, okay
, I can't.
I can't do it.
And the impression.
What did the adult human say tohis friend when he introduced
him to his pal gnome?
I don't know what to say.
(16:30):
Say hello to my little friend.
Oh my goodness, why are gnomesgreat at acting?
I, I, I have no idea there isgnome business like show
(16:51):
business oh my god, please,wellies, make it stop.
These are awful one more, onemore, then one more.
Why are so many gnomes happy,regardless of today's news?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I don't know why are so many gnomes happy, regardless
of today's news?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
gnome news is good news.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Thank you for delving into the archives to feature on
a future episode.
Please write in tofirstlooknomes at outlookcom.
Don't forget to like, review,follow and subscribe to help
grow the show.
I want to discuss the , the phenomenon that is the
starter fart now I have no ideawhat this is, but please, please
enlighten me.
It's something that's I mean,it's happened to me.
I don't know if it's just me orit's something that Just to
clarify.
Did you say starter fart,starter fart, the starter fart?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
The starter fart.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Repeat the starter fart.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
The starter fart.
So it's the phenomenon that is.
So my body has seemed to havetrained itself like an alarm
clock I basically built seemedto have trained itself like an
alarm clock.
I don't know if that's linkedto episode two, my snoring and
the way I'm breathing, et cetera, et cetera, but I seem to sort
(00:53):
of build up a lot of gas and Iget very gassy.
And then around 7 o'clock, whenmy alarm goes off, I just
suddenly just wake up having ahuge starter fart.
Okay, that start basicallystarts my day.
So I don't know, is that, isthat just me?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
is that so?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
your first look is actually your first look
discussing the phenomenon.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Okay, okay well, I I I commend you.
I'm bringing this to ourlisteners attention.
I think it's an important topicto discuss, but it absolutely
is too many.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Is it me on my own, or a lot of other listeners out
there that have the sameexperience?
Well, it's um and theirpartners you know.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
You know it's brave of you.
I'm just gonna say one ofthem's.
As a fellow man, I commend youfor bringing this to the table
and I just want you to know thatthis is a safe space.
This is a safe space to talkabout your startup arts.
Thank you.
Now, to comfort you and consoleyou, I can confirm that most
(02:03):
mornings when I wake up, I willalso do a will pass wind
williams, I will, I will is it astarter fart?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
so does it wake you?
Are you quite regular, are youlike you know?
Six o'clock, seven o'clock,half a seven on the clock every
day.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well, I mean, I mean that that could you could say
that's not necessarily a bodilyfunction, that's possibly to do
with your alarm going off, thatyou wake up and then your body
starts to move.
You know, you've been in a,you've been in a tranquil state
of sleep, and then you wake upand you're like, oh, I'm
starting to stretch, yeah, andit moves the gas bubble.
Yeah, so I wouldn't necessarilysay it's your body has been
timed into it.
I'd say it's more to do withthe fact that you set your alarm
(02:43):
for half six in the morning.
Your alarm goes off and thattriggers the body to move.
Yeah, so I would say now, again, this is where we can, this is
where we can throw it open toour lovely listeners.
There is probably somebiological explanation to why
men and I'm assuming, women do,maybe they just don't do it with
(03:05):
such gusto.
You know, you're, you'reprobably like a jet engine
rolling over and is, you know,real good starter, whereas women
are probably more like and youknow, because that's, you know,
that's, that's what.
That's what women do,apparently.
But I'm sure one of ourwonderful listeners can comment
(03:26):
on the biological reasons.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
There's some great science behind it, or anything
like that as well.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
But I imagine it's just because of the sedentary
nature of sleep.
You just lie there.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
The body still produces the gas, and then when?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
you wake up in the morning, take a deep breath.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
And your bowel thought moves the alarms
triggering the stratopharm, asopposed to I would say so.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I mean your circadian rhythm may be that in tune that
you have just trained yourflatulence to erupt at a certain
time, but I think that'sunlikely.
But again, I'm not a scientist,I am not.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
I'm neither a fart expert nor a scientist you may
fart more in the morning due toseveral reasons relaxation of
the anal sphincter.
During sleep, the analsphincter relaxes, making it
easier for gas to escape whenyou wake up.
Digestive processes your bodycontinues to digest food
(04:32):
overnight, which can lead to gasbuild-up that is released in
the morning.
Dietary factors, foods consumedthe previous day, especially
those high in fiber, or certaincarbohydrates, can contribute to
increased gas production.
If excessive gas is a concern,consider evaluating your diet
(04:54):
and consulting a healthcareprofessional for personalised
advice.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
The phenomenon of the start of art.
Yes, you're not alone, Williams, you're not alone.
We're here to support you.
I know I am at the moment, butyeah, no, no, no, I admit in the
mornings will generally do ayeah, I will pass wind, yeah,
and.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I told you I'd lower the tone.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
You did lower the tone, whoa, but I enjoy doing
things I haven't done before.
You know, you think you've gotto try these things, so you
never know when you're going tostumble upon something that's
brilliant.
So recently.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
You don't need to show yours and your lovely
wife's person.
I've heard no, no, no, youdon't need to go there.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Nobody needs to know about any of that.
Thank you very much.
But recently I had my firstexperience of live snooker.
The Northern Irish Openhappened recently at the
waterfront hall in belfast andthe tickets were pretty cheap
and for a couple years I've beenquite fancy doing that.
So this year I I put my hand inmy pocket we I trundled along
(06:04):
to the waterfront hall to seewhat live sneak was all about.
So now I I would admit I am afan of snooker, but it's one of
those sports where or games,however you, wherever you sit on
the fence, I I enjoy watchingit because I can then fall
asleep to it.
It's one of those ones I'm likeoh yeah, sunday afternoon I'm
gonna sit, I'm gonna watch acouple, I'm gonna watch like six
hours of snooker and I'llprobably only actually watch 10
(06:27):
minutes of it because I'lleither be on my phone doing
something nonsensical or I'llfall asleep to it.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
But I've always enjoyed watching it as I say,
because, like with golf, I likegolf, but watching it I find it
quite relaxing.
So I imagine snook is quite arelaxing sport or game to watch
it is.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
So I wasn't really sure what to expect going to
watch it live, because obviouslynow I've got a big thing for
hazel Irvine.
So it's the BBC speakerpresenter.
I think she shits all overGabby Logan, not literally, I
just think she's a much betterfemale sports presenter.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Gabby Logan, if you're listening, you want to
become a guest speaker on ourpodcast.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
No, she's not welcome Williams.
To be honest, she's not welcome.
I don't like her at all.
Her and Matt Hancock can go inthe jungle together.
Sorry, gabby, hazel, irvine,all day, every day, come and
talk to us her please, pleasewrite into first.
look gnomes at outlookcom youhave, you have, you have fans,
but you know you watch that andthere's a bit of better
(07:28):
presenting.
So I thought, if I can't watchthe snooker live, what happens?
How does this all work?
So it was interesting, but I'lljust, I'll just get to the
conclusion because I won't boreyou with it all.
It's a bit shit live.
Yeah, I I went and I sat thereand I there was three tables on
and I was like you know, Iwasn't very close.
So first of all, I got there anhour late because I was an
(07:49):
idiot, because I was.
I looked on a website you knowwhat, what sports matches are on
, to try and see who was playing.
I was like what sports are onat what times?
And it was like snookercom orsomething and they were
obviously in a different timezone and I worked it out wrong.
I was like, oh yeah, I'll getthere for 8 o'clock or like
quarter to 8.
(08:10):
All the matches that start at 7.
So I had to sneak in veryquietly, get myself a seat and I
sat there and I was like, okay,so what happens now?
Everyone just sits there incomplete silence.
You just hear a couple ofpeople chuntering away.
You, you've got three tables tokind of watch.
So I kind of don't know whereto look.
I'm like, which one should Iwatch?
Okay, go for the middle one, gofor the middle one, watch that.
(08:30):
But you're so far away andthere's no commentary.
Like it's a lot different whenyou watch on the tv and they
kind of say, you know the drawon the tv screen and the draw
around the ball, and they'relike, oh yeah, say what he's
going to do, he's going to gofor this ball, it's going to
spin back, and you're like no,he's not.
And then when they do it you'reall impressed like holy crap,
how did john virgo know that?
That's exactly what he's goingto do?
And they draw the little.
They draw the little, they drawthe circle where they think the
(08:52):
white ball needs to go and thewhite ball goes in there.
And that's brilliant.
When you're there there's noone drawing on the tables or the
TVs.
Williams.
No, no, you kind of you don'tknow what the snooker player is
thinking, because you justthey're going oh he's going to.
He's going to try and put aball oh, he's part of the ball.
Yeah, or occasionally I'll missa ball and I go, but it's.
(09:14):
I was just like I'd ratherwatch this on the telly.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
This is a bit crap I uh, I had a first look at any
players that you wanted to likesee in the flesh.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Well, yeah, I saw.
Who did I say?
Now, I saw the jester fromleicester.
We saw yeah, I'm trying tothink of his name.
I can remember he's like theworld number two Flip me.
I saw Mark Allen, whoeventually went on to win the
competition.
Mark Selby, that's the jesterfrom Leicester.
I beg your pardon.
See, that's how impressive itwas, williams, there was three
tables and I can remember MarkAllen.
(09:46):
I can remember Mark Selby.
Sean Murphy no, that wasn'tSean Murphy.
No, that wasn't Sean Murphy, itwas another guy.
Anyway, I'm boring myselftalking about it.
This is a public serviceannouncement.
If you're into snooker, justkeep watching it on the telly.
Don't go and watch it live.
There's not much to do.
It's good advice.
The people who were there, whowere like in a group and stuff,
were getting leathered anddrinking lots of beer, but again
(10:08):
, it wasn't boisterous.
You're watching okay so this isalong the line of the blue
buttocks that we looked at lasttime.
Cornish knockers, cornishknockers.
Yes, I just think.
Yeah, cornish knockers.
(10:28):
That's not quite what Iexpected, williams.
I don't know what you expected,craig.
I was expecting a pair ofbounty bosoms.
These are actual littlecreature things yes, please, yes
, please explain.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah.
So, cornish knockers, I mean,I'll let you read the little
blurb on that picture at somepoint, if you can see it or not.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
It doesn't matter if not, we can read it out for the
listeners.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah, if you can see it, yeah, why not?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Okay.
Do I need to do it in myNorfolk Cornish accent?
No, probably not.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
I'll just speak normally.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Cornish knockers, small, thin limbed creatures
with large, hooked noses.
They knock with their hammersto indicate a vein of ore, so
gaining their name.
Although friendly to the miners, unlike the German kobolds,
they need to be treated withrespect.
Whistling and swearing oftenoffends them.
We're screwed then.
And what's that say?
(11:18):
and it's not in a very as agraphic designer, I must say
this font is just atrocious it'squite difficult to read,
offends them, and food or tallowmust be left for them or they
will become angry.
They also dislike the sign ofthe cross, and so the miners
must avoid marking anything withone for fear of annoying the
little people.
The knockers are close cousinsto the welsh knockers are close
(11:45):
cousins to the welsh coplanuyeah, I don't know, I don't know
who also inhabit mines.
They can still be found in someof the abandoned tin mines
waiting for the for the shaftsto be reopened.
Well hey, there are many talesof these little people in
cornwall.
One of the more well-known talesof dangers of annoying the
knockers, a, a miner called TomTrevor refused to share his
pasty with the knockers.
What a son of a.
(12:06):
He didn't share his pasty.
No, he didn't share his pasty.
No, what a bastard With theknockers.
One lunchtime the next day, arock fall nearly killed him.
Only his tools were crushed bythe rocks.
The miner suffered fromcontinuous bad luck after that,
until he was forced to leave themine for his own safety.
That's from Fairies of Folkloreof the British Isles, available
from Amazon or A World of Magic, myth and Legend.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, so Cornish knockers are quite a well-known
myth and legend down my way downin Cornwall, actually related
to the gnomes.
Actually they're in the gnomefamily, related to Piskies,
gnomes, elves.
In the gnome family, related topisces, gnomes, elves, all that
sort of groups I thoughtappropriate appropriate to bring
up in the first little namespodcast.
Oh, you're good you're as far asI was, where the knockers
(12:52):
cornish knockers were.
They lived the mines and Ithought they sort of they used
to sort of knock down thetunnels and the miners would go
down looking what was going on,leave their pasties behind.
Cornish knockers would comealong and steal the pasties.
That was the legend.
(13:12):
I was brought up with Tinmining, so tin mining started in
Cornwall around 4,000 years ago.
Unbelievable Traded tin.
So us Cornish, we traded tinwith the Romans 4,000 years ago.
4,000 years ago UnbelievableTraded tin.
So us Cornish, we traded tinwith the Romans 4,000 years ago.
4,000 years ago.
So us Cornish were trading tinwith the Romans.
That's mad, isn't it?
Yes, and that is why they callCornwall Swiss cheese Down here.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
We just there's so many mines underground.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
We've got mines and all sorts underneath us that
we're not even aware of.
Do you suffer from earthquakesdown there?
Earthquakes there have beenearthquakes?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
yeah, Are there kind of yeah, we do and we get.
Collapses and sinkholes andstuff.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yeah, I mean, well, actually my shop is right next
to a mineshaft.
Hmm, so if one day the podcastgets cut short, william, no, hmm
, so one day the podcast getscut short?
(14:13):
But uh, I remember as a, as achild, my grand tell me a story
of someone in the village thatwas.
She was literally outsidehanging a washing up on the line
.
Gone, mine chat open, gone.
So yeah, it's a crazy worlddown here.
But, um, so, all the houses andwhen you buy houses, when you
get a mortgage, you have to makesure you get like a mine shaft
survey done and all that sortsof stuff.
That's crazy.
(14:34):
Yeah, what sort of stuff.
We've got so, so much humanactivity.
The mines gave a rise to thesetales of miniature figures
underground passing on warningsor causing harm, also known as
the knacker or the bookerapparently Booker, the booker,
which is Welsh or the Tommyknocker.
So that's where our audience inthe States, the Tommy knockers,
(14:58):
tommy knockers, the knockers,derive from similar origins as
the leprechauns and brownies.
Legends claim they're only twofoot tall and live underground.
In other legends, the knockingacts as a warning of an
impending cave-in.
That's quite helpful the spiritsmight like practical jokes, but
they took the safety of theminers very seriously.
(15:18):
These knockers.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Well, they obviously don't seem all bad then.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
No, no I think they're quite good.
Miners also took care to leavepart of their dinner usually a
Cornish pasty, for the knockers.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I'm not going to lie, williams.
It's a strange place, cornish.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
People chant at the Gnome President's Rally.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Was that?
What do people chant at theGnome President's Rally?
Yes, I don't know what dopeople chant?
What the gnomes chant at thegnomes president's rally or go
gnome go big or go gnome soundeffects needed sound effects
needed you can get this one.
You can get this one have yougot a tumbleweed sound?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
you'll know this one great.
What is a gnome's favoriteshakespeare play?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
nomio and juliet.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yes, very nice, very nice what did the adult human
say?
So with this one I think youwill need to do the accent, okay
, I can't.
I can't do it.
And the impression.
What did the adult human say tohis friend when he introduced
him to his pal gnome?
I don't know what to say.
(16:30):
Say hello to my little friend.
Oh my goodness, why are gnomesgreat at acting?
I, I, I have no idea there isgnome business like show
(16:51):
business oh my god, please,wellies, make it stop.
These are awful one more, onemore, then one more.
Why are so many gnomes happy,regardless of today's news?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I don't know why are so many gnomes happy, regardless
of today's news?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
gnome news is good news.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Thank you for delving into the archives to feature on
a future episode.
Please write in tofirstlooknomes at outlookcom.
Don't forget to like, review,follow and subscribe to help
grow the show.
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