September 4, 2025 • 35 mins
🎧 In this episode of First Look Gnomes, we’re taking three very different trips into live entertainment — from belly laughs to big riffs and even a festival with helicopters!
👉 First up, we explore Peter Kay’s Tour, the long-awaited comedy comeback that’s packing out arenas and proving why Kay is still the king of observational humour.
👉 Then, it’s time to crank up the volume with The Darkness Tour — glam rock, falsetto vocals, and a show that’s as outrageous as ever. But does the nostalgia still hit as hard today?
👉 Finally, we shine a spotlight on Helifest in Cornwall, a family-friendly music festival supporting the Cornish Air Ambulance. With live acts, local community vibes, and an important cause, it’s more than just a festival — it’s a celebration with heart.
Whether you’re into stand-up comedy, rock concerts, or UK festivals with a cause, this episode gives you a first look at it all.
After weeks in renovation hell learning about specialised vacuum cleaners, we finally escaped for some much-needed entertainment with a two-for-one special of live shows. Sometimes you need Peter Kay and The Darkness to remind you there's more to life than HEPA filters and plasterboard dust.
• Peter Kay's show feels like a "greatest hits" tour with the comedian doing a tribute act to himself
• Phoenix Nights perfectly captured the characters and atmosphere of British working men's clubs
• The Darkness proved they're much more than a one-hit wonder with impressive guitar solos and rock performances
• Brazilian sweet "Rapadurhina" gets a cautious review as a first bite
• Helifest in Cornwall combines helicopters, emergency vehicles, and festival fun for families
• Skip crowded pubs after concerts and head to hotel bars instead for quicker service and comfortable seating
• Regular dental check-ups save money – £125 per filling adds up quickly when you've avoided the dentist for decades
Join us next time for more adventures, and don't forget to check out the recently published Gnome Vault episodes featuring highlights from our past shows!
Click here via your Mobile Device to send us a message!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
episode five bad boys with power to rock you blowing
your mind, you gotta get intoepisode five.
What you're waiting for?
If you want a three, two, one,let's do it.
Slam dunk season four episodefive yeah, if we make it that
(00:34):
far, yeah, I can't remember whatother season five would be, all
five songs well, they did.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
We were all rocky, didn't I?
Because I remember gonna rock,I'm gonna rock you baby, which
just made some people's I thinkI've done where they get uh sing
it.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I think I did that one that would that sounds
familiar, I think.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I mean we probably should listen back to our
content, but then we'd have tolisten back to our content, so
we'll do that.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I won't, mr valia?
Good on the note, you canlisten back to some content on
the recently published GnomeVault episodes, which are little
short, relux old episodes, soyou can look at those Summary.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yes, I have been very busy and finding time at the
minute where I'm not covered ineither plasterboard, mould, wood
, concrete or just some otherkind of crap.
It's pretty hard, isn't it?
And you can't vacuum it up, canyou?
So I've discovered a whole newworld of vacuums.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
A whole new world of vacuums.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, so like there's different kinds of depending on
dust, different types of dustand mold, so we've found some
interesting things in houserenovations and you can't just
use like we just felt like whenI'm stick vacuum cleaners, I
won't mention brands, but theydon't suck up any of this crap.
It's just like, oh, why wouldthis work?
(02:00):
If you want your brandmentioned, sponsor us, yeah,
sponsor us.
Send us something that sucks upplasterboard dust.
Yeah, do we want, but yeah, youhave to have HEPA filters and
all these different stuff.
Hepa filters.
HEPA filters.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Oh, h-e-p-a, h-e-p-a, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Because they're for finer dust and you can't just
suck up anything, because youclog up your motors and you
can't just have paper bags.
If you suck up, say, a piece ofplasterboard, it'll rip the
paper bag and then you can't getstuff.
Honestly, it's a I'm boringmyself talking about it, but
yeah, vacuum cleaners, vacuumcleaners, gentlemen, so this is
why we haven't made a podcast Atthe minute.
(02:43):
The At the minute, the onlythings I had to talk about the
content is getting wet.
Yeah, what have you donerecently?
That's new.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Nothing.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I've discovered vacuum cleaners Today's episode
is about vacuum cleaners.
Yeah, henry, dyson, charles,all of them.
We should do a test on vacuumcleaners, my first look.
So I've got a two-for-onespecial today, william.
I've got a two-for-one specialtoday, william.
I've got a two-for-one special,a two-for, and I'm going to
(03:10):
follow it with a couple of tipsfor dads.
Tips for dads we have been inrenovation hell, shall we say.
We're not the first people, weweren't the last, but we got a
bit of respite this week becausewe had excuse me, sorry, listen
(03:32):
pardon me, I'm on the bierrecontinentals, the little french
lager stubbies, and they're verygassy I can't believe.
You just interrupted me with abelch of that.
Pardon.
Sorry, spatcher, sorry,goodness you animal, where was I
?
So we were in renovation hell.
You may have heard me talkabout vacuum cleaners, which
shows you where my head's at atthe minute.
(03:54):
It's not a fun place to be, butthis week we had pre-booked
tickets such a long time ago andthen it turned out we had two
things to go and see in one week, so it's two for one special,
so this week we were.
We were really lucky and thiswas really.
These were two really nicethings today, two of my favorite
things.
One, when I saw peter k live ohnice on his tour.
(04:15):
That's been touring for about72 years longest tour ever.
Yeah, longest tour ever.
We went and saw him on his tourand then on saturday we went
and saw the darkness.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Hey, he was being supported by ash, so we had I
think they've been supported byash when we saw them 20 years
ago yeah, we, that's what I said.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I'm sure we've seen them support bash before, so but
uh, yeah, I mean two like pk isone of my favorite comedians.
I hope you're not the fear.
Yeah, uh, and the darkness areone of my favourite ever bands.
So I hate to name all of that.
So I'm closing out when I seePeter Kay at the SSE Arena in
Belfast and I don't know, Idon't want to give any spoilers
(04:54):
away because there's stillpeople who haven't seen this
show he's been doing and he doeslike a gig every kind of three
weeks somewhere across thecountry and I suppose the only
this doesn't give any spoilers.
But the only way I can describeit is it's a Peter Kay show.
So you know a lot of comedianswill every tour.
(05:15):
They just play a new comedy andthey just do their act.
Peter Kay has some kind ofskits that he does that everyone
knows him for now, like thekind of misheard lyrics, the
guitar, like the Amarillo song,all that.
So it was almost like the showwas almost like the greatest
hits of Peter Kay.
It was almost like a tributeact to Peter Kay by Peter Kay.
(05:35):
So it was a bit weird.
It was very good I should juststart by saying that but it was
very much like he hadn'tprepared anything.
It was just there and justthought let's just see what
happens, let's just let's justtalk, talk to the audience, feel
the audience.
So it was.
It was like it was like a greatsense.
It was like the old tour.
So I remember going to see himin 2011 on his tour.
(05:58):
My mum wants a bungalow tour, sohe did like.
He did the top of the tower,one which I think really broke
him.
Then he did the one at BoltonAlbert Halls.
Then he did the One More Once aBungalow tour.
I mean it was really massiveand that was like the biggest
grossing comedy tour of all timeand that was one where he did a
few things like the Miss O'Lyrics and the Spade Shovel and
(06:20):
a few of his other kind of actsor kind of famous or memorable
things.
So this new tour there's yeah,it's a bit like a greatest hits
tour with some new materialthrown in, but it was warm, it
was funny, the audience liked itenjoyed it yeah, we enjoyed it
when my mom and dad and leslieand we saw christmas.
We don't buy each other presentsbecause, like, what do you buy
(06:43):
your mom and dad, really?
And we'd rather just kind ofspend time with them.
So we always found that,instead of buying buying
presents that are just nonsensewe try and find something that
all of us are like can we go andhave a night out?
Yeah, and like we buy theirtickets and now buy our tickets,
which is, yeah, I think you'rebuying around, but it's, it's
the point.
It's like, no, instead ofgiving them money, we're going
to spend the money on a nightout.
(07:04):
So that was lovely.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Seated together, or do you buy them seats on the
other side of the arena?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
The length of it sort of went down.
I needed a boundary sitter.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So you know it's not the same time, can we?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
No, we all went together and it was my dad's
first time at the arena.
I think he was a bit likewhat's?
Oh, this is big, he said.
The last time he was at anarena like this was in 1991 for
Eurasia, the NEC in Birmingham,and so that was.
That was interesting, kind ofseeing mum and dad, kind of in
(07:39):
that environment yeah it wascool, it was good.
And Peter Kay, I mean Peter Kay, he's just funny is this tour
ever gonna end?
is there an end in sight?
Because he's obviously enjoyingit.
He's obviously he's money.
The fans want to see it he's.
He's a bit of a legend, peter k, I think he's.
He looks very different now,like he's lost all of his weight
, yeah, and obviously he's gotolder.
(08:00):
So he looks older, yeah, andit's.
It's funny, isn't it, when youknow someone so well, you're
someone who's so prominent andthere's always been a bigger guy
, especially he was quite young,wasn't he when it, when he
first got quite big?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
yeah, he was.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah, he must have been like in his early 20s or so
, yeah, and he was a chubsterand now he's like he's older and
he's really skinny, so he looksvery different.
Like physically he looks verydifferent, but Like physically
he looks very different.
So that's quite like.
Oh well, that's Peter Kay.
But then you realise how longyou've been watching Peter Kay
for.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Of course he looks 50 .
He is the man.
He's 50.
Yeah so yeah, but he's cool.
His tall is good.
If you haven't been seeing it,I would recommend going to see
it.
I know I said those areprobably the greatest hits of it
.
There's a lot of new stuff aswell which is really cool.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I quite fancy watching this show again.
What was that series of thePhoenix Knights?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yeah, phoenix Knights yeah, phoenix Knights is genius
.
It was our childhood so livingin Wolverhampton, we used to go
to the Ex-Servicemen's Club andsome of the characters from the
clubs the phoenix knights clubwere in the ex-servicemen's club
.
Like, oh yeah, there was likethere was one called vinegar
tits everyone had names.
(09:11):
There was a guy called wobble.
There was all these differentpeople names and all kind of
characters from phoenix knightsand phoenix knights captured it.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Bang on, like really funny and how do you for our?
You know we've got listeners inAmerican Asia, a lot in Asia.
How, how on earth do youexplain something like the
Phoenix Knights?
It's like I can't.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
It's such a, it's such a cultural thing.
They would call it the workingmen's club, so it was for or
ex-servicemen, so it wasbasically people like to drink
and smoke and I haven't gotnecessarily a lot of money
hanging out and just doing life.
And it just captured thecharacters, the real life
characters and the, thecolloquialisms and the I don't
(09:56):
know the nuances of just peoplewho just, you know, work in
factories and then go to the pubon a saturday there's there's
some band playing and triviaacts and bingo and yeah, I don't
know, it's just a way likekaraoke, yeah, but just I don't.
Actually it's quite nice.
It feels quite nostalgic to mebecause we used to have a fun
(10:17):
going there on.
The dad you should enjoy it, mymom you should enjoy it.
We always used to get onsaturday night and then like new
year's eve and stuff and youknow all these characters were.
I don't know.
They're just it was.
It's about cheese.
It might cheese the americanshow, if you told me american
people cheese, like whereeverybody knows your name.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
The service men's clubs were like that, but for
working class midlanders andnortherners in britain yeah I'm
sure there was southern as wellbut well, the nearest we had to
that was probably the railwayclub.
You know, you get a lot ofrailway stations always have
like the railway club right nextdoor and, uh, no windows, just
like a big, long metal hut whichis super hot as you go inside
(10:56):
and then, but like my memoriesas a kid were like I mean, not
that you should go to these sortof places as a kid, but you did
back in the day and you go inand it's just like full of smoke
.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I can still smell it now when you sort of think back
on memories and you get thatcigarette, smoke, alcohol
spilled everywhere, peopleplaying darts, people on the
gambling machines, fruities yeah, I used to play the fruit in
the darts Crazy times Crazytimes it was Both my parents
were smokers and my dad liked abinger.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
So he's like me, he likes a binger.
But my mum used to work thereas well, so my mum used to work
in the morning club so sheworked behind the bar.
My nan used to love the bingoso we'd go down for bingo and
(11:49):
snooker.
I'd like to play snooker there.
Do stupid lessons there, plugmachine condom, machine urinals
with fags and little yellowcubes.
You know the little yellow cubesin the toilet so strong it's
like, why can I smell lemon andpiss?
It's just oh lovely and juststay.
Or what's someone called brian,say, in phoenix nights the
guy's called brian.
In the club we used to go to,the owner was called brian.
Yeah, it is ph.
In the club we used to go to,the owner was called Brian.
Yeah, it is Phoenix Knights.
So we used to go there and thenmy dad would be like oh dad,
what can I do for you?
(12:09):
Make yourself useful?
My dad would tell me he'd giveme instructions.
Go beyond the bar, ask your momfor an empty crisp box and then
go and enter the ashtrays.
All right, so then I'd go andget this box, this crisp box,
like a box of snaps or cheeseand onion crisp.
There were no crisps in it.
And I'd go around all thetables and I'd see all the
ashtrays.
That's a Carling ashtray,that's a Carlsberg ashtray,
(12:32):
that's a Holston Pills ashtray.
So all these ashtrays, go andget them, mum.
You know, there you go, mum, Ihelped you out, really probably
like foreign kind of memories toother people what used to go
around with the box yeah,ashtrays, yeah, ashtrays, yeah,
and then, but these like.
So, on a saturday they'd have adj on till nine o'clock.
(12:53):
Then they'd have half an houroff when they do a raffle or
they do a game called the box,where there's a box with money
in it and you have to pick a keyto unlock the box.
And, as this was happening,you'd have a buffet with like
chicken, drumsticks andsandwiches, and then a guy would
come in, like the fish manwould come in selling like
cockles and pepperamis and stuffoff of a tray.
(13:13):
That's an old thing.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
What a bit of a.
Thing.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
And pork scratchings and just all these random things
and it was just normal life.
I mean, it was a special nightif I had like a balloon drop.
So on new year's eve a balloondrop, yeah.
So like on new year's eve everyyear, they had like um, on the
roof someone had painted like abit of tarp and filled it with
(13:39):
balloons, and then at midnightwhen you look out, like two, no,
nine, seven, six, five, four,five.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
All these balloons drop.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
The top down.
All these balloons come downand you're like, oh, it's a big
night tonight.
Put the budget in, get somecash, play for some balloons and
, like you'd have to, you'dthink oh, we've got where we
were so innocent about plasticand things.
Yeah, there's balloons and younever blow up balloons as well.
You seem so hard.
(14:06):
Yeah, if you got good balloonsit was easy.
But then, if you got shittyballoons, mum, I feel dizzy.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Keep blowing.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yeah, and your cheeks right here, yeah, your
bloodshot eyes and this balloon.
What did one go through?
Did you this balloon?
Speaker 1 (14:22):
What did one go through?
You feel your jaw pop as a boom.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
You feel your jaw pop when you hear she's like what
was that balloon made of?
It'd be interesting to kind ofGoogle what were balloons made
of in circa 1994.
So that's Phoenix Nights forpeople.
I don't think we've made it anyclearer for anybody there.
We've just done nostalgia.
You used to have loads ofplastic balloons.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
You used to have ashtrays.
There's a smoke inside uh-huhthere was.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
There was gallons and gallons of alcohol oh yeah, we
used to have like a two literbottle of coke and just yeah,
there you go, have me two literbottle of coke.
Nobody, nobody had a name.
There was no one with a nameother than Brian.
Everyone else had a nickname.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, Dave.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Dave, there was a guy called VT, which stood for
Vinegar Tuts.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah, VT.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
And there's all these people with these nicknames and
they went oh, that's VT.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
And you just think, saggy maggot, you just think how
do we Wobble?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, there's a guy called Wobble, we call him
Wobble.
You're like, what goodness?
This is my form of TV.
You hear it, but I don't know.
But yeah, so we saw Peter Kane.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Sorry, yeah, what's the series, if you can?
Well, you said this isbasically a two-for-one.
This is going to be yes, anddarkness.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
The darkness are one of my favorite bands.
I know they're a bit of a jayband, but when you and I were at
university many years ago- umthe flying.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
The flying white tiger got stuck.
Canada, go backwards well,that's true.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yes, so we went to see.
So what my name's referring tothere is we went to see the
Darkness about 20 years ago ontheir permission to land tour.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I think it would have been like a November before
Christmas one as well.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
It was because they played the Christmas song and
brought out Christmas trees andstuff, didn't they?
And, yeah, they're still goingstrong.
So the last kind of six yearsthey've released an album every
couple of years and their newestone has a song called rock and
roll party cowboy, which is an.
(16:27):
It's such a fun tune and, yeah,I've always been a big fan of
darkness.
So we went to them at customhouse square and it was a
beautiful night.
My sister was over fromstockton and we took her and we
went to.
We went for food, went to thedarkness, they rocked the place
and it was just brilliant.
I know a lot of people like thedarkness.
Well, I know a comedy band andthey've only got like one song.
(16:48):
But if you like guitar riffsand you're into a bit of like
rock and roll, proper rock androll they, they can.
Those boys can play.
I'm telling you like some ofthe guitar solos are epic and
I'd love a guitar solo.
Like what's not to love?
A bag guitar solo.
So we had a great time while werocked my little pants off.
So, yeah, it was a really goodcouple of events to blow away
(17:11):
the cobwebs of renovation andhave a bit of fun, because I
don't feel like we've had a lotof fun this.
The last five weeks.
It's just been all work, work,work.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Yeah, good time, this was nice.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah, we did.
We had a very good time.
That's about it really.
Darkness and Peter Kay, I wouldgive both of them 10 out of 10.
10 out of 10?
How many somethings I wouldgive the?
Actually, I'd give you darknessmore somethings than peter k.
Wow, peter k, I would give ninesomethings out of somethings
and give the darkness 10somethings out of millions or
(17:43):
add that to our somethingsleague table on the website.
Yeah, I'd rather if I could onlydo one of them again.
I'd go to the darkness okayreally wow, wow did you have a
pint.
When you were there, I, I don'tknow, I didn't go in, or did
you have a first bite?
I had Both a pint and firstbite Bites, and first bites
(18:07):
Bites, and first bites.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
It's that time of the show Bites, and first bites
what?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
do you think, greg?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Is it going to be?
Is it going to be a pint or afirst bite?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
can we, can we?
What was the blankety blankthingy?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
team right pints and first bites pints and first
bites pints and first bitespints and first bites pints and
first bites pints and firstbites.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Is that plagiarism?
Are we allowed to get away withthat?
We're not famous.
No one's paying us any money.
We can get away with it.
It's fine.
Pants on the pants.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Pants on the pants, pants on the pants, pants on the
pants.
Do you think it's going to be apint or a first bite, mr
Oshkiss?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
100%.
It's going to be a first bite.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
It's going to be.
A first bite, yay, yay.
So today, mr Oshkicus, we'vegot a Rappatorohina.
I beg your pardon, it's aRappatorohina.
I don't know what that is, soit's a small rectangular, yellow
(19:07):
rapid thing.
What does it mean?
So, archicus, you can sort ofdescribe what that is.
I don't really know.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
A Rappatorohina, a Rappatorohina A rapatabina.
It looks like it's got a bug onit A rapatabina which is when
you say it, then it sounded veryauthentic.
A rapatabina, yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
A rapatabina.
A rapatabina, that is fromBrazil.
Wow, yes, my parents broughtthis back from Brazil.
It's a Raparena de Minas.
It has some green leaves on it,so I'm a bit worried it's going
(19:50):
to send you to make it high.
Yeah, we'll see.
It says Fonte Energia.
Fonte Energia Energy.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Energia.
So think about it, right, I'mnot gonna sleep tonight, am I
the way it's?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
it's probably full of cocaine, um it says peso, peso,
peso liquido, and it saysindustrial brazilia, which is
brazilian.
Um, all the ingredients are inbrazilian.
I haven't got a clue.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I mean, I'm sorry, yes, but when you say that,
right india, but it's brazil, soyou need to sound more
portuguese the accents aren'tvery good, um, which reminds me
(20:36):
actually back in Covid days.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I did a little quiz.
Everyone did a quiz, didn'tthey in the Covid days?
Do you remember the quizzes?
Yeah, and I did one, and I did,I said guess the film or
something, and I said I wasbasically doing Braveheart.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
But then everyone thought it was an Indian accent.
They were dumb, so.
But then Everyone thought itwas an Indian accent, so.
So If you can't tease us thatyou did Braveheart In an Indian
accent and then not doBraveheart In your best
impression, that we can hear itand decide for ourselves what's
the famous phrase again you cantake our lives, but you can
(21:14):
never take our freedom, you cantake our lives, but you can
never take our freedom.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
You can take our lives, but you can never take
our freedom.
Come here.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Oh my goodness, You're good, right?
No, that's the most ScottishI've ever heard.
When did break heart come fromDanny, Bloody hell.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
It's not Scottish.
You can break our hearts.
Break our hearts.
I'm kidding, bloody hell, it'snot Scottish.
You can break our hearts.
Break our hearts.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
What's it again?
You can take our hearts, Idon't know.
Now I've forgotten.
Never take our freedom.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
You can never take our freedom.
Freedom, anyways, rapatelina,rapatelina.
It's such an idiot, it's a Idon't know how would you
describe that it looks.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It looks like it's got.
Like Peanut it's got a little.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
It's like a Nougat Peanut.
It's like a Nougat Peanut.
It's going to be fair.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
It's going to go, shall we.
I think you're going to enjoythat.
I think it'll be very sweet andvery peanutty.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
You expect it to be really hard, but it's not.
It's really soft.
Like she said, the initial bitewas tough and then it melts in
your mouth and it's interesting,it has quite a tang.
I'm the adjective not sure.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I like not sure I like it.
It was interesting, but notgood interesting a wrap of
tahina.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I wouldn't.
No, I wouldn't buy itespecially because it caused an
allergic reaction.
Wrap of tahina from brazil.
I'll give it four somethings,especially because it causes an
allergic reaction.
Rapatahina, from Brazil.
I'll give it four somethings.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Four somethings.
Can you listeners, can youplease write in and tell us how
many somethings you'd giveWally's braveheart accent?
If you want Wally to do anymore accents or say anything
else, any of the famous quoteslike I'd quite like to see him
do Scarface's say hello to mylittle friend.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
I'm just a bit worried.
It says forte de energia.
Forte de energia means do noteat.
Ha ha.
Translate please.
Why is it all in translate?
Power sauce, oh, just what youneed to eat before bed.
Yeah, there you go.
(23:41):
So I've had my power sauce, soI'm ready to go.
Hey.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I used to be your first look, so you know, oh, I
do Gosh right, First look.
Oh my God, I was going to do atip for dads after my.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
We'll do tips for dads.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
We'll do tips for dads after my'll do tips for dad
after mine, first look, I'd sayso we can scrap the tips for
dads.
To be honest, I've alreadytalked too much.
Today.
Your turn.
I've got a couple of tips.
Okay, well, you do tips fordads today.
Let's go, al, let's go First.
Looks Woo.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I feel a bit dizzy after that.
I don't know what that waspodcast, Mr Hodgekiss, you spoke
about.
You're a Glastonbury goer.
You went to Isle of White.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Isle of.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
White Isle of White Festival.
Well, mr Hodgekiss, we went toa festival.
We had our first look atHellyfest.
Hellyfest, hellyfest inCornwall, which was all for the
Cornwall Air Ambulance, so itwas they just bought a new
(24:44):
helicopter.
So in Cornwall there was afestival for basically to
celebrate and raise money forthe Cornwall Air Ambulance.
Nice, they just got a newhelicopter which was um around
like three million quid, um, anduh yeah, but the, uh, the local
(25:06):
community raised money for it,put it together.
So that was there.
So, yeah, we took logan alongand there's the helicopter which
you can have a look at and goin and look at, and then there's
like fire engines, police cars,coast guard cars, all setting
the sirens off and things.
So you know, for a littletwo-year-old he loved it with
(25:26):
all the you know all the sirensgoing off and the you know, and
all that stuff.
But yeah, and there was like alittle circus there.
So logan got to do somebalancing tricks and things, a
few bands and they've beenfamous you know your local bands
and things and did differentfood stalls and things and at
(25:47):
one point so the uh, the wifeand wife queued up for for pizza
, but they had like two pizzaovens with a massive queues
there in in the queue for ages.
I went off with the, with thebag of stuff, and queued up for
a pasty, as I, as I would, andbut there was a, there was an
awkward moment with Oskis.
(26:07):
I had, I had the bag with allthe coats in, you know, the coat
of coat for my wife, the coatfor my, the coat for my toddler.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Oh, yes, very important job.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I'm in the queue for the pasties.
I'm there in the queue on theother side of the field for the
pizzas.
I'm not quite there yet for thepasties Drops.
A ring Start hitting my head.
Oh no, Trip, trip, trip.
And I Do.
I go back and give them theircoats?
This puts you in an awkwardsituation.
Or do I stand and wait in thequeue?
(26:38):
Clearly you do.
I stood and waited in the queue.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
You're a better man than I am.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
So I got my pasty.
Luckily it didn't rain toobadly, so it was alright, but I
did take the decision to stay inthe queue for the pasty.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Okay, so let me get this right.
I took the gamble.
Your beautiful wife andgorgeous child are in a queue
trying to get sustenance andyou've been entrusted with the
coats, but you need to bringjust in case it gets rain,
because you know, nobody likesto get wet and you can lead to
pneumonia and all sorts ofthings.
(27:14):
It starts to rain and you'vegot a choice here Either hero or
be things.
It starts to rain and you'vegot a choice here Either hero
will be fed, but Cornish pasty.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
That's the key bit here for me.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
I was in the queue for Cornish pasty, you're
already 72% Cornish pasty, soyou could probably have fed it.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Perhaps, but the moral of the story is it didn't
chuck it down in the rain.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
In the end, what would have happened if I had
really started pelting it down?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Well, the wifey wife listens to this, so I would have
rushed across the field, okay,and first of all took off my
coat.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Oh, of course.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And gave her my coat.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Double coats, yes, okay.
Or what really would havehappened is you'd probably have
a salty fasting and a very angrywife, and a child who's looking
at you thinking.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
I'm not angry at that , I'm just very disappointed and
actually once I got the fastingI went next door and queued up
for a beer.
But we queued up for this icecream van, probably in a queue
for like 20 minutes or something.
Yeah, finally get.
If I want to get to the the van, there we go a cup of a cone of
(28:25):
vanilla, chocolate in a tub anda vanilla in a tub.
Thank you very much.
That'll be ridiculous pricebecause we're at a festival,
thank you.
And they say if you could justwait over there now please.
Yes, yeah, and then you've gotto wait and then you've got to.
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yeah, yeah, you order ice cream.
You get given your ice cream.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
No, you don't then go wait outside.
You've got to wait another 20minutes.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You're ordering with Jeff and then you had to go and
wait for Dahlia to pass it overto you.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I wasn't happy.
They took my money and then didgive me my ice cream.
Never happened to me in my life.
Unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Maybe that was karma for not taking the Coke to your
wife and kid when it started torun.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Maybe it was.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Was it worth the money?
No, oh dear, oh dear.
That was alright Unbelievable,jane.
You let yourself down Tips fordance, tips for dance.
What have you got, Ralph?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Get your tips and forth Dance.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
So I've got two tips actually.
So the first one is related tofestivals and gigs and all that
kind of jazz.
So out in the darkness, westumbled upon this tip and it
was just one of those thoughtswhen you're like, I wonder,
could we do that?
And it turned out really well.
So the darkness there was,there must have been.
There was a fair few flowers inthis place.
It was an outdoor event, so wehad pre-booked taxis.
(29:51):
We thought we'll go to the gigand then we'll book taxis for
like an hour and a half afterthe gig, because after the gig
your ears will be ringing andyou're not ready for home.
That was good.
Your adrenaline's pumping.
You're like let's go and getanother couple of drinks.
Yeah, so gig finishes.
We're like, right, let's go tothe pub, come on.
But then it was so we'd seenPeter Kane on a Thursday night
(30:12):
and we were seeing the Darknesson a Saturday night.
Peter Kane was also playing ona Saturday night, so as we were
coming out of the darkness, wewere joined.
Ah, people were merging withanother 6,000 people from the
arena 5,000 people all lookingfor pubs.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Oh no, and I'm like ah.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
So I said to my sister and my wife I was like,
well, let's go over there.
And then we looked outside andthe queue to get into the pub
was shocking.
I was like wow.
And then the next pub just asbusy.
And I thought, oh, flip me,we're not.
Like Wow, there's too manypeople All with the same idea
here.
So what do we do?
So here's my tip that's goodfor the trade, good for the
(30:52):
trade of the pubs, not good forthe punters Looking for a beer.
So here's my tip for dads Don'tgo for the pubs.
Everyone's going for the pubs.
You want to drink?
Go to the hotels.
So, yes, we jumped into.
We then passed the malmaison.
I was like quick push, I gotleft, walked into the reception
(31:13):
and straight into the bar, justpretending like we were guests,
just didn't, didn't do anything.
Then we guessed yeah, found areally comfy, three big comfy
chairs, got to serve withinabout five minutes and it was
brilliant.
We were sat outside looking atthe thousands of people swimming
past, all looking for rooms,while we sat there drinking
(31:35):
salted caramel, espresso,martinis and I was like that was
a genius move.
Now you have to have theconfidence to walk in and defeat
a guest in the hotel.
Yeah, I don't know, we're just,we've been to the gig.
Well, they don't mind, she'sspending money.
Yeah, that was the worry,though, like, oh, you know
you're a guest here.
No, we're not Off, you go, butwe got in.
(31:56):
We managed to have a drink.
When you're looking for a drink, don't always look at the
obvious places.
Think where else sells best.
I'm not going there.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
To drink your salted caramel espresso is where it was
.
It was very nice, I must admit.
My little tip, which is also alittle bit of a first look, is
look after your teeth.
Look after your teeth, MrHodgkiss, so for the first time
in about 30 years.
So first look.
As an adult, I went to thedentist.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
When was the last time you went to the dentist?
When?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I was a kid, no.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, you were a boy.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
It was the first time and ka-ching, ka-ching,
ka-ching.
Oh my gosh, they're expensive,aren't they?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Have you not been to a dentist before?
To you?
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Well, no, because we haven't got an NHS one.
The nearest NHS dentist for uswas Cardiff, where I looked you
are joking and then there was nodentist available to go to.
And then, obviously, logan camealong and you're meant to get
free treatment from the teeth,but you couldn't get in anywhere
.
And you're meant to get a freetreatment from the Tees, but you
couldn't get in anywhere.
(33:07):
And then I asked a couple oftimes and then eventually one
became available.
So we did it to sign Logan up.
But obviously, you know, whilstwe're signing Logan up, well,
get us signed up as well.
You can't just sign Logan up,you have to have at least one
adult.
You know he can't pop downthere himself and yeah.
So, yeah, the first time I wentto the dentist and yeah, it's a
(33:29):
bit of a money-making machine,isn't it?
The dentist?
Yeah, but yeah, brush yourteeth.
So my tips with dads areelectric toothbrush, flossing
and mouthwash.
Do it, it will save you money.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
What did they tell you?
You need to have done A rootcanal.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
I meant to have four, no, so I had the little
hygienic thing, which wasinteresting.
It basically scraped my mouthto pieces, but you've got four
fillings as well, apparently.
Okay, like £125 a pot £125 afilling?
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, no, that's just the going rate these days like
£125 a pop.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
£125 a pop yeah, you are low-paying.
No, that's just the go-rightthese days.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
That's private, yeah, so okay, not to humble brag,
but we're with an NHS then,aren't we?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
You've got an NHS?
Yeah, of course you have.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I think it's about £16.
Yeah, Because the NHS pays forthe rest of it.
So that's not what.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
£125 yeah the hygiene thing cost £80 wow to basically
have someone so you get put inthe chair.
Two people would like pin youdown to the chair.
One chap sticks a knife in yourmouth and prods you and cuts
you up and then takes out yourpound that you want it.
(34:47):
So basically it was a mug.
Oh, my days, a voluntary mug,basically.
Wow, another tip for Dad, someadvice, double negatives.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
They're a no-no See you didn you catch me on with
that.
I thought I was going to beokay, I know what's going on.
That's the end of the episode.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
See you in a couple of weeks.
See you in a couple of weeks,everyone, Bye everybody, bye,
everybody, bye, bye.
episode five bad boys with power to rock you blowing
your mind, you gotta get intoepisode five.
What you're waiting for?
If you want a three, two, one,let's do it.
Slam dunk season four episodefive yeah, if we make it that
(00:34):
far, yeah, I can't remember whatother season five would be, all
five songs well, they did.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
We were all rocky, didn't I?
Because I remember gonna rock,I'm gonna rock you baby, which
just made some people's I thinkI've done where they get uh sing
it.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I think I did that one that would that sounds
familiar, I think.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I mean we probably should listen back to our
content, but then we'd have tolisten back to our content, so
we'll do that.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I won't, mr valia?
Good on the note, you canlisten back to some content on
the recently published GnomeVault episodes, which are little
short, relux old episodes, soyou can look at those Summary.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yes, I have been very busy and finding time at the
minute where I'm not covered ineither plasterboard, mould, wood
, concrete or just some otherkind of crap.
It's pretty hard, isn't it?
And you can't vacuum it up, canyou?
So I've discovered a whole newworld of vacuums.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
A whole new world of vacuums.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, so like there's different kinds of depending on
dust, different types of dustand mold, so we've found some
interesting things in houserenovations and you can't just
use like we just felt like whenI'm stick vacuum cleaners, I
won't mention brands, but theydon't suck up any of this crap.
It's just like, oh, why wouldthis work?
(02:00):
If you want your brandmentioned, sponsor us, yeah,
sponsor us.
Send us something that sucks upplasterboard dust.
Yeah, do we want, but yeah, youhave to have HEPA filters and
all these different stuff.
Hepa filters.
HEPA filters.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Oh, h-e-p-a, h-e-p-a, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Because they're for finer dust and you can't just
suck up anything, because youclog up your motors and you
can't just have paper bags.
If you suck up, say, a piece ofplasterboard, it'll rip the
paper bag and then you can't getstuff.
Honestly, it's a I'm boringmyself talking about it, but
yeah, vacuum cleaners, vacuumcleaners, gentlemen, so this is
why we haven't made a podcast Atthe minute.
(02:43):
The At the minute, the onlythings I had to talk about the
content is getting wet.
Yeah, what have you donerecently?
That's new.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Nothing.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I've discovered vacuum cleaners Today's episode
is about vacuum cleaners.
Yeah, henry, dyson, charles,all of them.
We should do a test on vacuumcleaners, my first look.
So I've got a two-for-onespecial today, william.
I've got a two-for-one specialtoday, william.
I've got a two-for-one special,a two-for, and I'm going to
(03:10):
follow it with a couple of tipsfor dads.
Tips for dads we have been inrenovation hell, shall we say.
We're not the first people, weweren't the last, but we got a
bit of respite this week becausewe had excuse me, sorry, listen
(03:32):
pardon me, I'm on the bierrecontinentals, the little french
lager stubbies, and they're verygassy I can't believe.
You just interrupted me with abelch of that.
Pardon.
Sorry, spatcher, sorry,goodness you animal, where was I
?
So we were in renovation hell.
You may have heard me talkabout vacuum cleaners, which
shows you where my head's at atthe minute.
(03:54):
It's not a fun place to be, butthis week we had pre-booked
tickets such a long time ago andthen it turned out we had two
things to go and see in one week, so it's two for one special,
so this week we were.
We were really lucky and thiswas really.
These were two really nicethings today, two of my favorite
things.
One, when I saw peter k live ohnice on his tour.
(04:15):
That's been touring for about72 years longest tour ever.
Yeah, longest tour ever.
We went and saw him on his tourand then on saturday we went
and saw the darkness.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Hey, he was being supported by ash, so we had I
think they've been supported byash when we saw them 20 years
ago yeah, we, that's what I said.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I'm sure we've seen them support bash before, so but
uh, yeah, I mean two like pk isone of my favorite comedians.
I hope you're not the fear.
Yeah, uh, and the darkness areone of my favourite ever bands.
So I hate to name all of that.
So I'm closing out when I seePeter Kay at the SSE Arena in
Belfast and I don't know, Idon't want to give any spoilers
(04:54):
away because there's stillpeople who haven't seen this
show he's been doing and he doeslike a gig every kind of three
weeks somewhere across thecountry and I suppose the only
this doesn't give any spoilers.
But the only way I can describeit is it's a Peter Kay show.
So you know a lot of comedianswill every tour.
(05:15):
They just play a new comedy andthey just do their act.
Peter Kay has some kind ofskits that he does that everyone
knows him for now, like thekind of misheard lyrics, the
guitar, like the Amarillo song,all that.
So it was almost like the showwas almost like the greatest
hits of Peter Kay.
It was almost like a tributeact to Peter Kay by Peter Kay.
(05:35):
So it was a bit weird.
It was very good I should juststart by saying that but it was
very much like he hadn'tprepared anything.
It was just there and justthought let's just see what
happens, let's just let's justtalk, talk to the audience, feel
the audience.
So it was.
It was like it was like a greatsense.
It was like the old tour.
So I remember going to see himin 2011 on his tour.
(05:58):
My mum wants a bungalow tour, sohe did like.
He did the top of the tower,one which I think really broke
him.
Then he did the one at BoltonAlbert Halls.
Then he did the One More Once aBungalow tour.
I mean it was really massiveand that was like the biggest
grossing comedy tour of all timeand that was one where he did a
few things like the Miss O'Lyrics and the Spade Shovel and
(06:20):
a few of his other kind of actsor kind of famous or memorable
things.
So this new tour there's yeah,it's a bit like a greatest hits
tour with some new materialthrown in, but it was warm, it
was funny, the audience liked itenjoyed it yeah, we enjoyed it
when my mom and dad and leslieand we saw christmas.
We don't buy each other presentsbecause, like, what do you buy
(06:43):
your mom and dad, really?
And we'd rather just kind ofspend time with them.
So we always found that,instead of buying buying
presents that are just nonsensewe try and find something that
all of us are like can we go andhave a night out?
Yeah, and like we buy theirtickets and now buy our tickets,
which is, yeah, I think you'rebuying around, but it's, it's
the point.
It's like, no, instead ofgiving them money, we're going
to spend the money on a nightout.
(07:04):
So that was lovely.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Seated together, or do you buy them seats on the
other side of the arena?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
The length of it sort of went down.
I needed a boundary sitter.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So you know it's not the same time, can we?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
No, we all went together and it was my dad's
first time at the arena.
I think he was a bit likewhat's?
Oh, this is big, he said.
The last time he was at anarena like this was in 1991 for
Eurasia, the NEC in Birmingham,and so that was.
That was interesting, kind ofseeing mum and dad, kind of in
(07:39):
that environment yeah it wascool, it was good.
And Peter Kay, I mean Peter Kay, he's just funny is this tour
ever gonna end?
is there an end in sight?
Because he's obviously enjoyingit.
He's obviously he's money.
The fans want to see it he's.
He's a bit of a legend, peter k, I think he's.
He looks very different now,like he's lost all of his weight
, yeah, and obviously he's gotolder.
(08:00):
So he looks older, yeah, andit's.
It's funny, isn't it, when youknow someone so well, you're
someone who's so prominent andthere's always been a bigger guy
, especially he was quite young,wasn't he when it, when he
first got quite big?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
yeah, he was.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah, he must have been like in his early 20s or so
, yeah, and he was a chubsterand now he's like he's older and
he's really skinny, so he looksvery different.
Like physically he looks verydifferent, but Like physically
he looks very different.
So that's quite like.
Oh well, that's Peter Kay.
But then you realise how longyou've been watching Peter Kay
for.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Of course he looks 50 .
He is the man.
He's 50.
Yeah so yeah, but he's cool.
His tall is good.
If you haven't been seeing it,I would recommend going to see
it.
I know I said those areprobably the greatest hits of it
.
There's a lot of new stuff aswell which is really cool.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I quite fancy watching this show again.
What was that series of thePhoenix Knights?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yeah, phoenix Knights yeah, phoenix Knights is genius
.
It was our childhood so livingin Wolverhampton, we used to go
to the Ex-Servicemen's Club andsome of the characters from the
clubs the phoenix knights clubwere in the ex-servicemen's club
.
Like, oh yeah, there was likethere was one called vinegar
tits everyone had names.
(09:11):
There was a guy called wobble.
There was all these differentpeople names and all kind of
characters from phoenix knightsand phoenix knights captured it.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Bang on, like really funny and how do you for our?
You know we've got listeners inAmerican Asia, a lot in Asia.
How, how on earth do youexplain something like the
Phoenix Knights?
It's like I can't.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
It's such a, it's such a cultural thing.
They would call it the workingmen's club, so it was for or
ex-servicemen, so it wasbasically people like to drink
and smoke and I haven't gotnecessarily a lot of money
hanging out and just doing life.
And it just captured thecharacters, the real life
characters and the, thecolloquialisms and the I don't
(09:56):
know the nuances of just peoplewho just, you know, work in
factories and then go to the pubon a saturday there's there's
some band playing and triviaacts and bingo and yeah, I don't
know, it's just a way likekaraoke, yeah, but just I don't.
Actually it's quite nice.
It feels quite nostalgic to mebecause we used to have a fun
(10:17):
going there on.
The dad you should enjoy it, mymom you should enjoy it.
We always used to get onsaturday night and then like new
year's eve and stuff and youknow all these characters were.
I don't know.
They're just it was.
It's about cheese.
It might cheese the americanshow, if you told me american
people cheese, like whereeverybody knows your name.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
The service men's clubs were like that, but for
working class midlanders andnortherners in britain yeah I'm
sure there was southern as wellbut well, the nearest we had to
that was probably the railwayclub.
You know, you get a lot ofrailway stations always have
like the railway club right nextdoor and, uh, no windows, just
like a big, long metal hut whichis super hot as you go inside
(10:56):
and then, but like my memoriesas a kid were like I mean, not
that you should go to these sortof places as a kid, but you did
back in the day and you go inand it's just like full of smoke
.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I can still smell it now when you sort of think back
on memories and you get thatcigarette, smoke, alcohol
spilled everywhere, peopleplaying darts, people on the
gambling machines, fruities yeah, I used to play the fruit in
the darts Crazy times Crazytimes it was Both my parents
were smokers and my dad liked abinger.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
So he's like me, he likes a binger.
But my mum used to work thereas well, so my mum used to work
in the morning club so sheworked behind the bar.
My nan used to love the bingoso we'd go down for bingo and
(11:49):
snooker.
I'd like to play snooker there.
Do stupid lessons there, plugmachine condom, machine urinals
with fags and little yellowcubes.
You know the little yellow cubesin the toilet so strong it's
like, why can I smell lemon andpiss?
It's just oh lovely and juststay.
Or what's someone called brian,say, in phoenix nights the
guy's called brian.
In the club we used to go to,the owner was called brian.
Yeah, it is ph.
In the club we used to go to,the owner was called Brian.
Yeah, it is Phoenix Knights.
So we used to go there and thenmy dad would be like oh dad,
what can I do for you?
(12:09):
Make yourself useful?
My dad would tell me he'd giveme instructions.
Go beyond the bar, ask your momfor an empty crisp box and then
go and enter the ashtrays.
All right, so then I'd go andget this box, this crisp box,
like a box of snaps or cheeseand onion crisp.
There were no crisps in it.
And I'd go around all thetables and I'd see all the
ashtrays.
That's a Carling ashtray,that's a Carlsberg ashtray,
(12:32):
that's a Holston Pills ashtray.
So all these ashtrays, go andget them, mum.
You know, there you go, mum, Ihelped you out, really probably
like foreign kind of memories toother people what used to go
around with the box yeah,ashtrays, yeah, ashtrays, yeah,
and then, but these like.
So, on a saturday they'd have adj on till nine o'clock.
(12:53):
Then they'd have half an houroff when they do a raffle or
they do a game called the box,where there's a box with money
in it and you have to pick a keyto unlock the box.
And, as this was happening,you'd have a buffet with like
chicken, drumsticks andsandwiches, and then a guy would
come in, like the fish manwould come in selling like
cockles and pepperamis and stuffoff of a tray.
(13:13):
That's an old thing.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
What a bit of a.
Thing.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
And pork scratchings and just all these random things
and it was just normal life.
I mean, it was a special nightif I had like a balloon drop.
So on new year's eve a balloondrop, yeah.
So like on new year's eve everyyear, they had like um, on the
roof someone had painted like abit of tarp and filled it with
(13:39):
balloons, and then at midnightwhen you look out, like two, no,
nine, seven, six, five, four,five.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
All these balloons drop.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
The top down.
All these balloons come downand you're like, oh, it's a big
night tonight.
Put the budget in, get somecash, play for some balloons and
, like you'd have to, you'dthink oh, we've got where we
were so innocent about plasticand things.
Yeah, there's balloons and younever blow up balloons as well.
You seem so hard.
(14:06):
Yeah, if you got good balloonsit was easy.
But then, if you got shittyballoons, mum, I feel dizzy.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Keep blowing.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yeah, and your cheeks right here, yeah, your
bloodshot eyes and this balloon.
What did one go through?
Did you this balloon?
Speaker 1 (14:22):
What did one go through?
You feel your jaw pop as a boom.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
You feel your jaw pop when you hear she's like what
was that balloon made of?
It'd be interesting to kind ofGoogle what were balloons made
of in circa 1994.
So that's Phoenix Nights forpeople.
I don't think we've made it anyclearer for anybody there.
We've just done nostalgia.
You used to have loads ofplastic balloons.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
You used to have ashtrays.
There's a smoke inside uh-huhthere was.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
There was gallons and gallons of alcohol oh yeah, we
used to have like a two literbottle of coke and just yeah,
there you go, have me two literbottle of coke.
Nobody, nobody had a name.
There was no one with a nameother than Brian.
Everyone else had a nickname.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, Dave.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Dave, there was a guy called VT, which stood for
Vinegar Tuts.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah, VT.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
And there's all these people with these nicknames and
they went oh, that's VT.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
And you just think, saggy maggot, you just think how
do we Wobble?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, there's a guy called Wobble, we call him
Wobble.
You're like, what goodness?
This is my form of TV.
You hear it, but I don't know.
But yeah, so we saw Peter Kane.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Sorry, yeah, what's the series, if you can?
Well, you said this isbasically a two-for-one.
This is going to be yes, anddarkness.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
The darkness are one of my favorite bands.
I know they're a bit of a jayband, but when you and I were at
university many years ago- umthe flying.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
The flying white tiger got stuck.
Canada, go backwards well,that's true.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yes, so we went to see.
So what my name's referring tothere is we went to see the
Darkness about 20 years ago ontheir permission to land tour.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I think it would have been like a November before
Christmas one as well.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
It was because they played the Christmas song and
brought out Christmas trees andstuff, didn't they?
And, yeah, they're still goingstrong.
So the last kind of six yearsthey've released an album every
couple of years and their newestone has a song called rock and
roll party cowboy, which is an.
(16:27):
It's such a fun tune and, yeah,I've always been a big fan of
darkness.
So we went to them at customhouse square and it was a
beautiful night.
My sister was over fromstockton and we took her and we
went to.
We went for food, went to thedarkness, they rocked the place
and it was just brilliant.
I know a lot of people like thedarkness.
Well, I know a comedy band andthey've only got like one song.
(16:48):
But if you like guitar riffsand you're into a bit of like
rock and roll, proper rock androll they, they can.
Those boys can play.
I'm telling you like some ofthe guitar solos are epic and
I'd love a guitar solo.
Like what's not to love?
A bag guitar solo.
So we had a great time while werocked my little pants off.
So, yeah, it was a really goodcouple of events to blow away
(17:11):
the cobwebs of renovation andhave a bit of fun, because I
don't feel like we've had a lotof fun this.
The last five weeks.
It's just been all work, work,work.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Yeah, good time, this was nice.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah, we did.
We had a very good time.
That's about it really.
Darkness and Peter Kay, I wouldgive both of them 10 out of 10.
10 out of 10?
How many somethings I wouldgive the?
Actually, I'd give you darknessmore somethings than peter k.
Wow, peter k, I would give ninesomethings out of somethings
and give the darkness 10somethings out of millions or
(17:43):
add that to our somethingsleague table on the website.
Yeah, I'd rather if I could onlydo one of them again.
I'd go to the darkness okayreally wow, wow did you have a
pint.
When you were there, I, I don'tknow, I didn't go in, or did
you have a first bite?
I had Both a pint and firstbite Bites, and first bites
(18:07):
Bites, and first bites.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
It's that time of the show Bites, and first bites
what?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
do you think, greg?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Is it going to be?
Is it going to be a pint or afirst bite?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
can we, can we?
What was the blankety blankthingy?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
team right pints and first bites pints and first
bites pints and first bitespints and first bites pints and
first bites pints and firstbites.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Is that plagiarism?
Are we allowed to get away withthat?
We're not famous.
No one's paying us any money.
We can get away with it.
It's fine.
Pants on the pants.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Pants on the pants, pants on the pants, pants on the
pants.
Do you think it's going to be apint or a first bite, mr
Oshkiss?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
100%.
It's going to be a first bite.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
It's going to be.
A first bite, yay, yay.
So today, mr Oshkicus, we'vegot a Rappatorohina.
I beg your pardon, it's aRappatorohina.
I don't know what that is, soit's a small rectangular, yellow
(19:07):
rapid thing.
What does it mean?
So, archicus, you can sort ofdescribe what that is.
I don't really know.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
A Rappatorohina, a Rappatorohina A rapatabina.
It looks like it's got a bug onit A rapatabina which is when
you say it, then it sounded veryauthentic.
A rapatabina, yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
A rapatabina.
A rapatabina, that is fromBrazil.
Wow, yes, my parents broughtthis back from Brazil.
It's a Raparena de Minas.
It has some green leaves on it,so I'm a bit worried it's going
(19:50):
to send you to make it high.
Yeah, we'll see.
It says Fonte Energia.
Fonte Energia Energy.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Energia.
So think about it, right, I'mnot gonna sleep tonight, am I
the way it's?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
it's probably full of cocaine, um it says peso, peso,
peso liquido, and it saysindustrial brazilia, which is
brazilian.
Um, all the ingredients are inbrazilian.
I haven't got a clue.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I mean, I'm sorry, yes, but when you say that,
right india, but it's brazil, soyou need to sound more
portuguese the accents aren'tvery good, um, which reminds me
(20:36):
actually back in Covid days.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I did a little quiz.
Everyone did a quiz, didn'tthey in the Covid days?
Do you remember the quizzes?
Yeah, and I did one, and I did,I said guess the film or
something, and I said I wasbasically doing Braveheart.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
But then everyone thought it was an Indian accent.
They were dumb, so.
But then Everyone thought itwas an Indian accent, so.
So If you can't tease us thatyou did Braveheart In an Indian
accent and then not doBraveheart In your best
impression, that we can hear itand decide for ourselves what's
the famous phrase again you cantake our lives, but you can
(21:14):
never take our freedom, you cantake our lives, but you can
never take our freedom.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
You can take our lives, but you can never take
our freedom.
Come here.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Oh my goodness, You're good, right?
No, that's the most ScottishI've ever heard.
When did break heart come fromDanny, Bloody hell.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
It's not Scottish.
You can break our hearts.
Break our hearts.
I'm kidding, bloody hell, it'snot Scottish.
You can break our hearts.
Break our hearts.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
What's it again?
You can take our hearts, Idon't know.
Now I've forgotten.
Never take our freedom.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
You can never take our freedom.
Freedom, anyways, rapatelina,rapatelina.
It's such an idiot, it's a Idon't know how would you
describe that it looks.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It looks like it's got.
Like Peanut it's got a little.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
It's like a Nougat Peanut.
It's like a Nougat Peanut.
It's going to be fair.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
It's going to go, shall we.
I think you're going to enjoythat.
I think it'll be very sweet andvery peanutty.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
You expect it to be really hard, but it's not.
It's really soft.
Like she said, the initial bitewas tough and then it melts in
your mouth and it's interesting,it has quite a tang.
I'm the adjective not sure.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I like not sure I like it.
It was interesting, but notgood interesting a wrap of
tahina.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I wouldn't.
No, I wouldn't buy itespecially because it caused an
allergic reaction.
Wrap of tahina from brazil.
I'll give it four somethings,especially because it causes an
allergic reaction.
Rapatahina, from Brazil.
I'll give it four somethings.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Four somethings.
Can you listeners, can youplease write in and tell us how
many somethings you'd giveWally's braveheart accent?
If you want Wally to do anymore accents or say anything
else, any of the famous quoteslike I'd quite like to see him
do Scarface's say hello to mylittle friend.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
I'm just a bit worried.
It says forte de energia.
Forte de energia means do noteat.
Ha ha.
Translate please.
Why is it all in translate?
Power sauce, oh, just what youneed to eat before bed.
Yeah, there you go.
(23:41):
So I've had my power sauce, soI'm ready to go.
Hey.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I used to be your first look, so you know, oh, I
do Gosh right, First look.
Oh my God, I was going to do atip for dads after my.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
We'll do tips for dads.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
We'll do tips for dads after my'll do tips for dad
after mine, first look, I'd sayso we can scrap the tips for
dads.
To be honest, I've alreadytalked too much.
Today.
Your turn.
I've got a couple of tips.
Okay, well, you do tips fordads today.
Let's go, al, let's go First.
Looks Woo.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I feel a bit dizzy after that.
I don't know what that waspodcast, Mr Hodgekiss, you spoke
about.
You're a Glastonbury goer.
You went to Isle of White.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Isle of.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
White Isle of White Festival.
Well, mr Hodgekiss, we went toa festival.
We had our first look atHellyfest.
Hellyfest, hellyfest inCornwall, which was all for the
Cornwall Air Ambulance, so itwas they just bought a new
(24:44):
helicopter.
So in Cornwall there was afestival for basically to
celebrate and raise money forthe Cornwall Air Ambulance.
Nice, they just got a newhelicopter which was um around
like three million quid, um, anduh yeah, but the, uh, the local
(25:06):
community raised money for it,put it together.
So that was there.
So, yeah, we took logan alongand there's the helicopter which
you can have a look at and goin and look at, and then there's
like fire engines, police cars,coast guard cars, all setting
the sirens off and things.
So you know, for a littletwo-year-old he loved it with
(25:26):
all the you know all the sirensgoing off and the you know, and
all that stuff.
But yeah, and there was like alittle circus there.
So logan got to do somebalancing tricks and things, a
few bands and they've beenfamous you know your local bands
and things and did differentfood stalls and things and at
(25:47):
one point so the uh, the wifeand wife queued up for for pizza
, but they had like two pizzaovens with a massive queues
there in in the queue for ages.
I went off with the, with thebag of stuff, and queued up for
a pasty, as I, as I would, andbut there was a, there was an
awkward moment with Oskis.
(26:07):
I had, I had the bag with allthe coats in, you know, the coat
of coat for my wife, the coatfor my, the coat for my toddler.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Oh, yes, very important job.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I'm in the queue for the pasties.
I'm there in the queue on theother side of the field for the
pizzas.
I'm not quite there yet for thepasties Drops.
A ring Start hitting my head.
Oh no, Trip, trip, trip.
And I Do.
I go back and give them theircoats?
This puts you in an awkwardsituation.
Or do I stand and wait in thequeue?
(26:38):
Clearly you do.
I stood and waited in the queue.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
You're a better man than I am.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
So I got my pasty.
Luckily it didn't rain toobadly, so it was alright, but I
did take the decision to stay inthe queue for the pasty.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Okay, so let me get this right.
I took the gamble.
Your beautiful wife andgorgeous child are in a queue
trying to get sustenance andyou've been entrusted with the
coats, but you need to bringjust in case it gets rain,
because you know, nobody likesto get wet and you can lead to
pneumonia and all sorts ofthings.
(27:14):
It starts to rain and you'vegot a choice here Either hero or
be things.
It starts to rain and you'vegot a choice here Either hero
will be fed, but Cornish pasty.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
That's the key bit here for me.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
I was in the queue for Cornish pasty, you're
already 72% Cornish pasty, soyou could probably have fed it.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Perhaps, but the moral of the story is it didn't
chuck it down in the rain.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
In the end, what would have happened if I had
really started pelting it down?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Well, the wifey wife listens to this, so I would have
rushed across the field, okay,and first of all took off my
coat.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Oh, of course.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And gave her my coat.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Double coats, yes, okay.
Or what really would havehappened is you'd probably have
a salty fasting and a very angrywife, and a child who's looking
at you thinking.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
I'm not angry at that , I'm just very disappointed and
actually once I got the fastingI went next door and queued up
for a beer.
But we queued up for this icecream van, probably in a queue
for like 20 minutes or something.
Yeah, finally get.
If I want to get to the the van, there we go a cup of a cone of
(28:25):
vanilla, chocolate in a tub anda vanilla in a tub.
Thank you very much.
That'll be ridiculous pricebecause we're at a festival,
thank you.
And they say if you could justwait over there now please.
Yes, yeah, and then you've gotto wait and then you've got to.
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yeah, yeah, you order ice cream.
You get given your ice cream.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
No, you don't then go wait outside.
You've got to wait another 20minutes.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You're ordering with Jeff and then you had to go and
wait for Dahlia to pass it overto you.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I wasn't happy.
They took my money and then didgive me my ice cream.
Never happened to me in my life.
Unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Maybe that was karma for not taking the Coke to your
wife and kid when it started torun.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Maybe it was.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Was it worth the money?
No, oh dear, oh dear.
That was alright Unbelievable,jane.
You let yourself down Tips fordance, tips for dance.
What have you got, Ralph?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Get your tips and forth Dance.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
So I've got two tips actually.
So the first one is related tofestivals and gigs and all that
kind of jazz.
So out in the darkness, westumbled upon this tip and it
was just one of those thoughtswhen you're like, I wonder,
could we do that?
And it turned out really well.
So the darkness there was,there must have been.
There was a fair few flowers inthis place.
It was an outdoor event, so wehad pre-booked taxis.
(29:51):
We thought we'll go to the gigand then we'll book taxis for
like an hour and a half afterthe gig, because after the gig
your ears will be ringing andyou're not ready for home.
That was good.
Your adrenaline's pumping.
You're like let's go and getanother couple of drinks.
Yeah, so gig finishes.
We're like, right, let's go tothe pub, come on.
But then it was so we'd seenPeter Kane on a Thursday night
(30:12):
and we were seeing the Darknesson a Saturday night.
Peter Kane was also playing ona Saturday night, so as we were
coming out of the darkness, wewere joined.
Ah, people were merging withanother 6,000 people from the
arena 5,000 people all lookingfor pubs.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Oh no, and I'm like ah.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
So I said to my sister and my wife I was like,
well, let's go over there.
And then we looked outside andthe queue to get into the pub
was shocking.
I was like wow.
And then the next pub just asbusy.
And I thought, oh, flip me,we're not.
Like Wow, there's too manypeople All with the same idea
here.
So what do we do?
So here's my tip that's goodfor the trade, good for the
(30:52):
trade of the pubs, not good forthe punters Looking for a beer.
So here's my tip for dads Don'tgo for the pubs.
Everyone's going for the pubs.
You want to drink?
Go to the hotels.
So, yes, we jumped into.
We then passed the malmaison.
I was like quick push, I gotleft, walked into the reception
(31:13):
and straight into the bar, justpretending like we were guests,
just didn't, didn't do anything.
Then we guessed yeah, found areally comfy, three big comfy
chairs, got to serve withinabout five minutes and it was
brilliant.
We were sat outside looking atthe thousands of people swimming
past, all looking for rooms,while we sat there drinking
(31:35):
salted caramel, espresso,martinis and I was like that was
a genius move.
Now you have to have theconfidence to walk in and defeat
a guest in the hotel.
Yeah, I don't know, we're just,we've been to the gig.
Well, they don't mind, she'sspending money.
Yeah, that was the worry,though, like, oh, you know
you're a guest here.
No, we're not Off, you go, butwe got in.
(31:56):
We managed to have a drink.
When you're looking for a drink, don't always look at the
obvious places.
Think where else sells best.
I'm not going there.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
To drink your salted caramel espresso is where it was
.
It was very nice, I must admit.
My little tip, which is also alittle bit of a first look, is
look after your teeth.
Look after your teeth, MrHodgkiss, so for the first time
in about 30 years.
So first look.
As an adult, I went to thedentist.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
When was the last time you went to the dentist?
When?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I was a kid, no.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, you were a boy.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
It was the first time and ka-ching, ka-ching,
ka-ching.
Oh my gosh, they're expensive,aren't they?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Have you not been to a dentist before?
To you?
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Well, no, because we haven't got an NHS one.
The nearest NHS dentist for uswas Cardiff, where I looked you
are joking and then there was nodentist available to go to.
And then, obviously, logan camealong and you're meant to get
free treatment from the teeth,but you couldn't get in anywhere
.
And you're meant to get a freetreatment from the Tees, but you
couldn't get in anywhere.
(33:07):
And then I asked a couple oftimes and then eventually one
became available.
So we did it to sign Logan up.
But obviously, you know, whilstwe're signing Logan up, well,
get us signed up as well.
You can't just sign Logan up,you have to have at least one
adult.
You know he can't pop downthere himself and yeah.
So, yeah, the first time I wentto the dentist and yeah, it's a
(33:29):
bit of a money-making machine,isn't it?
The dentist?
Yeah, but yeah, brush yourteeth.
So my tips with dads areelectric toothbrush, flossing
and mouthwash.
Do it, it will save you money.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
What did they tell you?
You need to have done A rootcanal.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
I meant to have four, no, so I had the little
hygienic thing, which wasinteresting.
It basically scraped my mouthto pieces, but you've got four
fillings as well, apparently.
Okay, like £125 a pot £125 afilling?
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, no, that's just the going rate these days like
£125 a pop.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
£125 a pop yeah, you are low-paying.
No, that's just the go-rightthese days.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
That's private, yeah, so okay, not to humble brag,
but we're with an NHS then,aren't we?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
You've got an NHS?
Yeah, of course you have.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I think it's about £16.
Yeah, Because the NHS pays forthe rest of it.
So that's not what.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
£125 yeah the hygiene thing cost £80 wow to basically
have someone so you get put inthe chair.
Two people would like pin youdown to the chair.
One chap sticks a knife in yourmouth and prods you and cuts
you up and then takes out yourpound that you want it.
(34:47):
So basically it was a mug.
Oh, my days, a voluntary mug,basically.
Wow, another tip for Dad, someadvice, double negatives.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
They're a no-no See you didn you catch me on with
that.
I thought I was going to beokay, I know what's going on.
That's the end of the episode.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
See you in a couple of weeks.
See you in a couple of weeks,everyone, Bye everybody, bye,
everybody, bye, bye.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com