Episode Transcript
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Andy (00:00):
Take two.
(00:01):
Take two.
Hey everybody, welcome toFitness, food, and Fauna.
Chat with Andy Mack.
And today I am lucky andfortunate enough to be joined by
the c e O of Beat the StreetsNew England wrestling, BJO
Rigney.
So bor.
Hello, how are you today?
Bior (00:19):
Hi everyone.
I am great.
I'm really excited to be here.
Like I said, we've known eachother for a really long time and
I've been a fan of the show, soI'm excited to get.
Andy (00:29):
Thank you very much.
So, intro again, BJO about youat a high level for everyone to
get a little bit familiar andthen of course fill in a lot of
blanks here and we wanna expandand really get to know you.
But like you said, known you fora long time.
I met you however many, it'sprobably over, it's over been
over 20 years now at this pointwhen I was your coach, assistant
(00:49):
coach at nfa and you were one ofthe wrestl.
Coming on to the team.
So, on that note, what I knowabout you is that you were a
wrestler.
you started in high school, youperformed at a, very high level.
You became one of the bestwrestlers in your weight class
in the state.
You went on to college andbecame an All American.
And then from there, you'veprogressed into becoming the,
(01:10):
the c e O that I mentioned of awrestling organization, so all
super impressive.
And so I just want you to get achance to talk about.
other activities that I didn'tmention that you probably were
involved in and since we're ontake two, you know, I, I did
actually remember that you werein soccer at, at some point.
So I want you to go ahead andfill in on, how did you get into
(01:32):
fitness and what other thingsdid you do that I didn't
mention?
Yeah.
Bior (01:35):
So I got involved in
fitness because I come.
Really large family, immigrantfamily.
We moved from dominicanRepublic, and I was the oldest
girl of 11 kids.
And so any excuse to get outtathe house I was in for it.
And I found out pretty quicklythat if you became good enough
at something, people wouldadvocate for you to participate.
Cuz it was really hard to getHardworking, multiple job having
(01:58):
parents to let their caretakergo participate in activities
unless someone was vouching forme.
So I got involved pretty youngyou know, the arts and musics
and things like that, but Ireally found a love and passion
for sport that I grew up in asmall town.
Preston, Connecticut, and like Isaid, super small town.
We were actually the 1% Hispanicin our town, and I think that
was just my house when we lookedat the census.
(02:19):
And so they were like, oh,you're, you're tan.
You must be good at soccer.
And I was like, no, I'mterrible.
From Dominican Republic, we lovebaseball, which I was also
terrible at, but I made it apoint to if I was going.
Not be home.
And I was gonna participate insomething to be the best that I
could be.
And so I became proficientenough in soccer to play for a
long time.
I tried out for cheerleading.
(02:40):
I didn't make it.
I tried out again because Irefused to be the mascot and I
wanted a winter sport.
And I did track In middleschool.
So then when I got to highschool again soccer was a really
big love cuz I made some greatfriends on the team and then
winter sports came around and Iwas too short for basketball.
I didn't wanna cheer anymore andI loved W W F so I heard over
(03:00):
the speaker in the morningannouncements that there was
wrestling happening and likemuch kids today, it has not
changed.
I thought that I was signing upfor like W W E wrestling.
But I remember going down to theroom, it was like the old gym at
N F A and I look in the littlewindow and all you see is a
bunch of guys.
Does not look like any of them.
Were about to professionallywrestle.
(03:21):
It's like one flat mat.
And I just ran off from themeeting.
I, I didn't go.
But afterwards, I hid in thebathroom, I came back out it was
coach sneaking at the time and Iwas like, yeah, I'm really
interested in trying out forwrestling.
He's like, oh great.
We could use a team manager cuzyou know, there was no girls on
the team.
And I was like, no, I, I reallywould like to learn more about
wrestling.
He is like, great score keepingAnd I was like, no, I want to
(03:44):
wrestle.
And he was like okay, here wego.
So like you said, there, thereweren't very many of us, I think
across the nation, maybe 800girls.
Some states were a little bitmore like advanced, like Texas
or Hawaii and California hadwomen's wrestling, but.
the other states, especially inNew England, there wasn't much
going on.
I think there was like one girlper state that was wrestling at
(04:04):
the time, but I went and I lovedit.
It was the hardest thing I everdid.
And Still continues to go to thehardest things I've ever done,
but every day in that room was aday of learning and growing and
shaping.
And the, the guys wereincredible and I don't think I
would've stuck with it if itwasn't as challenging and if
the, my teammates weren't my,the leadership weren't as
(04:26):
amazing as they were, right?
Because could go a lot ofdifferent ways.
Being the only girl on a teamand.
even though it was never easy, Iwas really fortunate to have a
team that understood, if you'rein that room and you're putting
in the time like everyone else,then you're just like everyone
else.
Not the case when we traveled somuch, but definitely in that
room.
Yeah.
When
Andy (04:46):
I think about this too,
when I was thinking about.
You know, who's the type ofperson that can become a c e O?
And then when we think about onyour history, and, like I was
saying before, is that when youdid it back at your time, it was
(05:06):
a much different scene than itis today because of people like
you that are making it a, afriendlier more common
environment for girls towrestle.
But when you did it, it was you.
75 guys in the room and everytime you went anywhere to
wrestle, like ourpre-conversation.
you heard people making commentson it and say, oh, you gotta
(05:27):
wrestle the girl.
And even people in the stands,snickering making comments, and
that's a lot of pressure andsomething that you overcame and
you overcame in a really bigway.
Can you talk a little bit aboutwhat that type of experience is
and maybe how you were trying tomake that different for the
young girls wrestling today?
Bior (05:46):
Yeah.
I when I started wrestling,wanted to fit in so badly.
You know, it, it's one girl,like you said, 75 guys.
And if there was a joke I wantedto finish it.
If there was a workout, I wantedto go twice as hard.
Probably too hard sometimes,really prove yourself.
But it was something that youknow, nobody really knew what
they were doing.
(06:06):
back then, we didn't know.
What the future looked like forme either, right?
Number one thing is why, whywould you wrestle?
What is there for you inwrestling?
All I get to say, I'm a C E O ofwrestling organization now, so
that's a great clap back there.
But at the time I, you're justshowing up because you love the
sport.
There was no idea that there wascollegiate opportunities.
I never thought I'd be anAll-American, I didn't think I'd
(06:27):
be doing it as a career.
So it's for love sport.
Walking into any space waschallenging because first you
come in and they don't know ifyou're there to wrestle and then
they see you getting ready andthen the comments start flying.
Like, oh, you're gonna have towrestle her or you're gonna have
to wrestle this girl.
And I actually started an entireprogram for Beat the Sweets.
Megan called Wrestle her becauseof that, where it was A negative
(06:49):
word almost, or, or combinationof words.
oh, you have to wrestle her.
I don't wanna wrestle her.
Or people could actually saythey don't wanna wrestle you.
And then as you start gettingwins and doing well, it turns
into oh, you're gonna have towrestle her.
you better be ready.
And, and that was a great momentto see that transition from
people dismissing you to beingsomeone they actually have to
(07:12):
consider a challenge or.
Telling a boy that they mightactually lose to this girl, you
know, as a coach.
So that was a wonderful thingfor me, at least.
Not so much for the guys that Ibeat,
Andy (07:22):
but yeah.
And, I remember the transitionwatching you and you as a coach
now.
I think you'll get thisperspective too when you see the
people that you're coaching andhow they're progressing, right?
So I remember that When you wereat the top of your game and, you
were at the, at the varsitylevel and going into your senior
year, like you started to havean intimidating presence, right?
(07:44):
You would, ah, you're lookingacross the mat and before when
it was, oh, we're gonna go, gowrestle this girl.
We're gonna go get a a w.
It's like, oh man, I gotta gowrestle that girl.
And, and you're terrified.
You're, you're terrified tolose, right?
And you're intimidating peoplefrom across the mat with, your
body language and everythingelse because it was confidence.
and, and I think that was justa, a great thing to witness in
(08:07):
that type of progress forsomebody.
So any thoughts you wanna expandupon relative to that?
Bior (08:13):
Yeah.
And then that we mentionedearlier is that confidence.
Came from people believing inyou.
Right.
That that was a confidence thatI didn't, I didn't have in
myself.
And I think one of the turningpoints was we were tournament in
Montville and you had to go intoa seating meeting and when you
came back out and I, I don'tknow why you even were prompted
to tell me this, but it wasdefinitely a turning point for
(08:35):
me where you were like, yeah,it's, they didn't wanna see you.
They, but I said, fine.
Don't see her.
she's gonna win this tournament.
And you saying that for me.
I'm gonna win this tournament.
There was no other option for methan to win that tournament That
was the drive that I think was abig turning point.
When you see the, your teammatesand the coaches and the adults
(08:56):
even supporting that team.
Right.
Having that level of confidencein you, it's hard not to carry
that with you onto the mat.
And it made the losses cuz I wasso afraid to lose because for
me, losing wasn't just losingthat match.
It was losing everything.
It was mm-hmm.
Well that's why girls shouldn'twrestle.
Right.
It was, you know, you're notworking hard enough or for me it
was even losing the opportunityto wrestle.
Cause my parents.
(09:17):
Weren't really thrilled thatlike I was, I was doing this, I
was the first wrestler in myfamily.
Nobody knew what to expect.
My first home match I lost aunder 30 seconds and I was the
only match my mom ever watched.
And I could hear her screaming,oh my God, you're killing her,
you know, off the corner.
And I was like, oh, I really,she doesn't come back to these,
you know?
So it was it.
That's what changed.
(09:38):
It was the first time where Idid something that challenging
and that hard, and there was anentire community of supporters
and whether you won or lost,they still looked at you as a
good wrestler.
And that was the confidence thatI carry with me today is like if
you build a good community andyou have the right people in
place, you're gonna have thoselosses, but you're gonna get
back up and you're gonna gopursue whatever it is you wanna
(09:59):
do, and knowing that thosepeople trust and believe in you,
and that brings trust and beliefin yourself.
Yeah,
Andy (10:05):
the pressure that's to
listen to you talk about it
like.
Is pretty eye-opening, right?
The amount of pressure that youwere under, it wasn't just a win
or Lowe's for anyone else thatwas competing.
It was all of those things,right?
It was, oh, this justifies whyshe shouldn't be out there.
Or, you know, even your parentswanting to pull you off the mat.
And, I mentioned how it was likea different environment for you
(10:28):
back when you were doing it thenwhat you're helping develop for
people today.
But in addition to that, one ofthe things that you mentioned,
and this is a lot of why I thinkI'm impressed with what you've
done and your perseverance isbecause you said yourself, you
were actually raising the restof your family, your siblings,
(10:49):
you were taking thatresponsibility on as a young
teenage girl.
Can you talk a little bit aboutwhat that was like in your life
and how that's helped shape you?
Yeah,
Bior (10:59):
it's a, it.
I don't wanna say kind ofstandard immigrant story, but it
was something where my family,you know, my parents moved here
from Dr.
Me and my brother went back andforth for, for quite some time.
So we weren't really with ourparents at a very young age, but
then when we all settled, myparents were working Multiple
jobs, they were working reallyodd hours and at a very young
(11:19):
age, I was left to really carefor a lot of young, a lot of
kids, a lot of young people.
And that meant making sure theywere fed, making sure that they
were safe, making sure thatthey, the house was clean, that
they were doing their homework.
As I got older, there wasactually times while I was
wrestling that I was working aswell to help.
Have lunch money for the kids togo to school.
(11:39):
So I'd go to wrestling practiceand I'd go to work afterwards
and then I'd have to go cutweight and so all that extra
responsibility for me, what thatmeant was option.
There was no feeling, was not anoption.
There was no turning back.
I had to really double down onanything and everything because.
I knew that there was just somany people relying on me
(12:02):
succeeding.
So if success meant I got tocollege, or if I was able to
obtain a job, or if I was ableto do something positive where
my family could be proud, right?
Those were all things that, thatwere really important.
So that's something I carry withme all the time.
And like I said, the number onequestion was where is wrestling
(12:22):
ever gonna get you?
And I was fortunate enough to goto college to wrestle at the
time.
I went, I was on Men Low'sinaugural team.
I.
Yeah, men and women's team.
So that was pretty impressive.
And then when they said thatthere was gonna be women's
wrestling in the Olympics, causewe didn't know that was an
option as well.
Then, I was a training partnerand Randy Miller, she got a
(12:44):
bronze medal in in the Olympicsand I was like, she used to beat
me up That was my trainingpartner.
So you have that pride.
Any job that I did, same thing.
It was like I went into it withthat non non-failure mentality
and if you did lose or if youdid, you know, have any sort of
obstacles in the way, you justgot back up and dusted yourself
(13:04):
off and got into round two andjust went back at it.
Andy (13:09):
You know, sometimes when
you hear success stories, I, at
least me anyways, when I'm, whenI'm thinking about them and you
say, oh, how did this person gethere, from point A to point B
and, be famous or, be the c e oof a wrestling organization and
you listen to the story that youjust told and you say, at the
time, that was really tough,difficult situation to be in.
(13:33):
If you get to rewind the clockand look backwards, you can say
it was kind of serendipitous ina little way, that having that
type of experience andresponsibility with, with youth.
Right.
And, and obviously this is yourfamily, but putting yourself in
that type of situation, you,you've been kind of grooming to
(13:54):
this role that you have nowsince you were a teenager.
Bior (13:58):
Yeah.
But the funny thing is, is Ithink this comes with being a, a
woman as well, is you don'tthink of it that way.
It's just like, this is what Ihave to do.
This is my responsibility.
These are the people that aredependent on me.
And for the longest time I waslike, well, I'd be a great
number two.
You know, I'd be a great likeassistant coach or I'd be a
great ops manager.
I'd be a great, like, I'm asupportive role because that's
(14:20):
what I felt like growing up.
I was a supportive role to myparents, but it wasn't till.
The last couple years when I wastransitioning to my role and I
had, again, a really greatcommunity around me that's like,
no, you're not a supportiverole.
You are a supportive person.
Mm-hmm.
and you are taking care of a lotof people.
But you can do that in a, in aleadership position at the
highest level, and now you canactually impact systems and
(14:43):
impact procedures and impact andentire mission.
That's giving back to thousandsof kids.
And that to me was like, oh mygoodness.
you're right.
I have been training for this mywhole life.
And so it sometimes it takes theright people to really point
that out.
And then, like I said, thatbelief in yourself to do it.
So it's a constant struggle Ithink from day one, especially
being a girl and then growing upinto a young woman, like always
(15:05):
having that, that doubt in.
But there's that proof behindall your, work ethic and all the
failures and all the peoplearound you and surrounding
yourself with good people thatcontinue to push you and
motivate you to do well.
Andy (15:20):
Yeah.
When you know.
When I was coaching, I wouldlook back and one of the things
I always said is just, it's hardwork always pays off, right?
And, maybe you use thatmessaging with, with your kids
today, but when I look at yourstory, I see a lot of hard work,
right?
I see a lot of perseverance.
And I think some of that alsocame, like you said, from your
parents just working, working.
(15:41):
You got a, a work ethic there,but it's also an experience that
you had and developed that youjust talked about.
But that's how I think if you'regiven a message down to somebody
and so people see things andthey just want to, they want the
end result.
Right?
How do you get.
From point A to point B, there'sa lot of time and effort and
hard work that goes on in themiddle to develop into
(16:01):
something.
You can't just, Hey, yeah, Icould be the CEO too.
Well, no, probably can't.
Cause there's a lot of thingsyou gotta learn, you know, so on
and so forth.
But I've always found that falike a fascinating aspect of, of
watching people's Lives, andtheir success stories from point
A to point B and yours is reallysimilar to that in my opinion.
But I'll jump into our firstsegment here and talk about
fitness and you know, ourconversation before we got on,
(16:24):
and we talked about this alittle bit and it was really
cool to hear you talk about theadvancement and how you're
looking at fitness today for thewrestlers and the stuff that we
did back when I was wrestlingand back when I, when you were
wrestling, It was a lot ofunhealthy things, and so you can
talk a little bit about thingsthat you're doing now in the
(16:46):
wrestling world to help thingmake things better and
healthier.
Bior (16:49):
Yeah, there I laugh
whenever I think of the stuff we
used to do actually back in theday.
But you know, you really werejust kind of listening to what
worked for somebody else andyou're like, oh, that's gonna
work for me.
And it didn't what works forsomebody else doesn't
necessarily work for you.
And so the biggest thing that Ilearned in my time, and we
wented this earlier, was havingthat, that mindset when things
(17:11):
just click.
And I remember that for me, likeI didn't realize that things
were clicking until 20 yearslater because I wasn't at the
right, at a growth mindset or ata place where I really
understood how fitness andnutrition and still having fun
while I was doing all of thiswas so important to my success.
Right.
So with, with the fitness sideof it, it was, I hated working
(17:34):
out.
I did not enjoy it.
To me, working out was my, I hadto work out so I could perform,
whether it was in wrestling.
You know, I fought m m A for awhile.
I played on the national rugbyteam.
So all these things for me whenit came to fitness, fitness was
not fun.
Fitness was something I had todo.
(17:54):
And then when I retired from allof that, Same thing.
It was, I did not enjoy runningLike, no, it was like a
punishment to me.
I did not enjoy going to thegym.
There was nothing positive thatI'd associated with having to
work out my body forperformance.
And so it took a long time tomake it fun and it started.
(18:19):
Where it really transitioned forme was when I started working
for Pizza Streets and I sawwrestling at a non-competitive
level, and I saw the kids justreally enjoying it and having a
good time and integrating moregames and more activities and
more fun.
And then you wanna participate,you wanna jump in as a coach and
you wanna have fun too.
And that really changed mymindset on And it, it's funny
because I wasn't really coachedthis way, but I've seen other
(18:41):
people get coached this way.
And so I was like, oh yeah, youknow, you have to be a hard
coach.
You have to be a tough coach.
But that only works for some, itdoesn't work for all.
And I'm, working with a lot ofkids.
So it became.
More of how can we make thisfun, not just for the kids, but
a little selfishly for myself,right?
Cuz I didn't have a greatrelationship with, with fitness.
And we started really focusingon the mindset.
(19:04):
Like what are some things thatget people engaged, you know,
how do we bring them into thespace?
How do provide enrichmentthrough that?
How do we educate our kids andourselves and how these
activities or fitness actuallyleads to a ton of great
benefits, right?
Mentally, physically, socially,emotionally then empower you to
like, use those tools to dowhatever you want in life and
(19:24):
then you involve into the nextlevel.
So fitness has, has come is 180for me where I now enjoy,
finding the fun in it and, andreally.
The play for those of you whoare wrestling fans, this is
something that They really talkabout it at the collegiate level
or Penn State.
It's like we, we play, we have alot of fun in our room and you
get to explore and you get toreally have these discoveries by
(19:47):
just using your body indifferent ways.
And so that's something that I,I really encourage.
So now when someone's like, doyou wanna try this?
I'm like, yeah, I'll try it.
I don't care.
I'll try anything new.
Doesn't mean I'm gonna stay toit but I'll do anything now just
to give it a shot.
I really enjoy now.
Lifting, lifting has been reallygreat.
Mm-hmm.
And then any sort of fun clubactivity or any sort of like
(20:07):
wrestling games.
So it's, it's definitely been along learning experience, but
when you make something fun andengaging and an activity versus
a job, it, it's a lot better.
Andy (20:20):
Yeah.
And one of my friends had hadtold me before that, she never
really.
Any stress in, in doing her jobbecause she always just focused
on the fun aspect of it, youknow?
And it's, if you can get intothat mindset and it's a hard
place to be, it changeseverything.
So I I loved everything you weretalking about there, and all it
(20:40):
made me think about was goingback to, the wrestling days and
coaching and, and even.
When I ref for a second, becausethere wasn't, it wasn't fun,
right?
Like it, it was, when you getinto the sport, even at a very
young age, and you see thepressure parents put on very
young kids to win.
and they're, they're not outthere playing because it's fun.
They're, they're playing tocompete and to win.
(21:02):
And it's just a totallydifferent environment.
And I think if you could bringfun into it, you could probably
end up seeing people achievemore than, than what they do in,
in Wrestl.
Happened to you, happened to me,happened to so many people that
have done the sport.
You burn out.
Right?
Because you've taken it to thelimits.
You've had the pressure fromeverywhere and around.
You've seen elite people dothings like win the state
(21:23):
championship, win the NewEngland Championship, and then
they just stop because they justdon't want to do it anymore,
right in the middle of theirhigh school career.
But I also wanted to comment onyour mindset.
One of the things that I tookout of a lot of the stuff that
you've been saying is you have areally.
Open, bold, I'll call it bravemindset, because everything you
jumped into, you jumped intorugby, you jumped into
(21:46):
wrestling, you jumped into no,I'm not a soccer player, but I'm
gonna up Sure.
I'll play it.
You know, and in that, I findthat really interesting and, and
I wa just wondered if you hadany thoughts on that.
Mindset that you have about justjumping into stuff with, knowing
nothing about it and be willingto do it.
what that's like for you andcould you loan some advice to
people on that mindset?
Bior (22:07):
Yeah, it actually came
from a It came from a place
where, and I don't know if a lotof people experience this, but
when you're first tryingsomething new, people are
excited for you to do it.
They're like, oh, you're gonnacome out for wrestling great.
Or You're gonna come out forrugby.
Let's go.
And everything you do, that'sgood.
People get excited about it.
They're like, I can't believeyou just got that.
Or, I can't believe you hit thatdouble, you know?
(22:28):
And so that became a feeling forme.
that was almost addictive.
It was the source of joy, thelearning, the people being
excited for you.
But what happens is at somepoint that excitement becomes an
expectation, right?
Where it's like, oh, come on,you usually get that.
Or I've seen you hit betterdoubles.
Or, you know, you know how to dothat, right?
And that for me was like thatrollercoaster of, well, now this
(22:53):
isn.
Something that I'm doing well orI'm not enjoying or it's not
fun.
And so I've learned, and this issomething that we bring into our
organization as well, when youget to that, when that praise
becomes expectation is how doyou continue to praise through
the expectations.
Right.
Hey, that was really great.
I think we can do it again.
Let's see if we can get it alittle better this time.
(23:15):
cuz I know you and I know youhave the talent, or I know you
have the skill to do it, let'sgo.
Yeah.
And cuz that was something forme that, that was big is.
and why I was so willing to trynew things because I really
enjoyed the being new aspect ofit.
Yeah, the learning aspect of it,the people getting excited for
you aspect of it.
And that was something thatreally excited me about trying
new things.
Andy (23:35):
So I have another question
for you and I'd like to get your
comments on this.
And when I was coaching, Ialways thought it was important
to tell you guys.
What I thought was accurate,right?
I didn't wanna say, go outthere, go, you're gonna, you're
gonna kill this person, right?
Like, if I didn't really thinkthat you were, if I thought it
was gonna be a tough match foryou, I would say it's gonna be a
(23:56):
tough match.
You gotta be really tough.
So, with that encouragement, doyou have any thoughts on
balancing that out with, withexpectation?
Because I think if you givefalse, you know, oh, you're, and
then you, it doesn't happen foryou, right?
So you go, oh, you're gonnacrush this.
Say you're, you're new atwrestling and you're gonna crush
this guy, and he's the statechampion, whatever it is, or, or
(24:17):
she's the state champion ornational champion, whatever.
And you come off and you lose,and then you, it's has a, it
flips everything over, right?
It, it's not, ah, it's not whatI expected.
I thought I was told I was gonnacrush this though.
There's a balancer.
What do you think about that?
Bior (24:31):
I think that what you
mentioned is, is really
accurate.
it's, there's one thing to, Iwould.
Not falsely pump someone up, butto just blanket statements of
encouragement aren't reallyhelpful for all.
And so one thing we starteddoing was before our tournaments
or competitions, is we wouldactually give our kids like a
(24:52):
profile sheet and they wouldfill out how do you get pumped
up for your matches?
Some kids like silence.
Some kids like music, some kidsget really excited and chatty.
do you want to know about youropponent?
or not, right?
Do you need positive words or doyou need you know, what do you
need for encouragement?
And then afterwards, how do youdecompress?
Do you need immediate feedback?
(25:12):
Do you need some time todecompress and come back?
Or do you need somethingwritten?
And so it was really cool to seecuz we're, we're here for them,
right?
We're here to coach our, ourkids and the people in this
space.
So it's really interesting to.
Each athlete's profile.
And then we made the athletesread each other's profiles.
So on the one hand you had oneathlete who's like super chatty,
(25:32):
really pumped up.
it's probably annoying the most,but the team was like, no, she
needs that before she competes.
And then she knew that thisperson needed to be left alone.
So I'm gonna avoid this personcuz they need that quiet time.
And then as a coach, I know thatif so-and-so's about to wrestle,
then I need to go up there andbe like, this is who you're
wrestling, this is where they'recoming from.
(25:52):
Here's what I know they do well,here's what I know they don't
Get after it.
Stick to your basics.
do what you do best or someoneneeds.
Encouragement, whether it'sblind encouragement or not,
you're gonna out there andyou're gonna crush it.
Cuz you never know.
They could be wrestling a statechamp and you can catch them in
something, or you just might bea terrible matchup for them,
right?
So you never know.
And so that became somethingthat was really valuable for us,
(26:14):
is to understand that there arecertain general things as
coaches that we do that thathelps.
All right?
Providing that technique,providing a safe space for them
to train, being there on time,being there early, being an ear
for them.
But then the reality of it iswe're there for the athletes.
So there's certain things thateach athlete needs and that's
information we can get so thatwe can be better coaches for
them.
Andy (26:35):
So I'm gonna, I'm gonna
mix this up cause I normally go.
Food and talk about, hey, what'sfood like in your life from like
a fitness standpoint?
But I just wanna jump right inand say, let's talk about your
favorite foods and, fun things.
And, you know, you've, you'vecoming from the Dominicans, so
you've gotta have some favoritefoods from there.
And, and and now you've got yourfavorite foods in the US and
you've been here for a very longtime.
So in general, you lived inBoston, you lived in
(26:56):
Connecticut, you've got that NewEngland flair to your thing.
Talk to us a little about food.
What are your vices?
What are the things you can'tstop for?
You know, what do you break for
Bior (27:06):
Hands down.
Pizza.
Pizza.
Aw man.
I, yes.
Pizza.
And I think it starts in likethose wrestling tournaments
where there's no such thing as abad pizza at a tournament.
But after that, just this loveof pizza has grown and.
Everywhere I travel, Idefinitely try to enjoy pizza.
So like we go to Chicago, theytry the deep dish and I was
like, oh, deep dish is good.
(27:26):
You know, it's not as good asConnecticut pizza, but if you
ever go to Detroit and this is ashout out to Detroit, their
Detroit square pan.
Pizzas was so good.
Mm-hmm.
I, I would fly back cause I wentto NCAAs last year.
I would fly back just for thepizza.
Detroit was something that I wasreally pleasantly surprised when
I went to visit.
But I love pizza comfort.
comfort food is huge.
Dominican food is comfort forme, but I love, like stews.
(27:49):
Like sancocho is something thatwhenever I go home I'm like,
please, can you make me somesancocho?
Or like, whenever I go visit Andjust any sort of, like any
country's comfort food or anyculture's comfort food, I'm down
for.
So it's stews or casseroles oranything like that, shepherd's
pies, all of those things.
Chicken pot pie.
I love a chicken pot pie.
(28:10):
Anything kind of along thatrealm of just salty, savory
just, it doesn't have to bepretty, like the uglier, the
better I will take it.
So anything in the comfort realmis, is a source of joy for me.
Andy (28:23):
So couple things.
One, I just learned a couple fewmonths back that there is
actually a Detroit style pizzaand they kind of compete with
Chicago style pizza, that area,they're close together, so they,
they do it out.
And I never knew that before.
But I also say that you being apizza lover, most people that I
grew up in the east coast, inthe, in this area where, you
know, we grew up as they.
(28:45):
Good pizza and when they goother places, they don't get it
in those places.
Yeah.
The West coast, and I don't knowif you know this, but
Connecticut, actually it was ayear or two ago, they did a
voting what state has the bestpizza?
And everybody typically thinksit's New York.
Right.
New York's got the best pizza.
Connecticut won the best pizza.
And a lot of that's from the,the, the famous New Haven area
Pizza Place.
Yeah.
Right.
But that's spread all overConnecticut.
(29:05):
I I feel that way too.
I would go to New York expectingto like have something better
than what I have in Connecticut.
And, and it doesn't happen,right?
Ah,
Bior (29:14):
no.
Gimme a buttery, crispy crust.
I don't like floppy pizza.
You know, and I'm pretty simple.
Like, you don't have to make itfancy for me to be happy.
I'm down with the good cheese orpepperoni.
Margarita bacon jalapeno.
Is that there?
I love the new, honey.
I'm gonna talk about this allday.
The, the honey sauce, the hothoney that they put on pizzas
now.
Ugh.
Yes.
Pizza all
Andy (29:34):
day.
Yeah.
The peppers.
The peppers on the pizza issomething I'm my new thing like
recently that I've just like,doesn't matter what kind of
pizza is like, you feel like,and also throw some of the, the
hot peppers on there like the,the, the sini or almost like
pickle, jalapenos, anything likethat.
It's like it adds that a littleextra to it that, that I really
love.
One thing you talked about alittle bit, Comfort Foods.
(29:55):
And I wanna have you expand alittle bit on that and maybe
touch upon the value of comfortfoods in your life a little bit.
And then maybe also how that, doyou talk anything about comfort
foods for your wrestlers?
Bior (30:08):
Yeah.
I think this is actually prettybig for us when it comes to our
wrestlers.
So one thing that.
Love about comfort.
Food is not just the food, butthe experience of having comfort
food.
Oftentimes, if it's a comfortfood, you're in a comfortable
setting, you're in someone'shome, you're with friends,
you're with family, you'resomewhere that's like you're
happy place and you're gatheringaround to just really enjoy
(30:30):
sharing a meal with each other.
And I think that's somethingthat, from not being able to eat
for so long and growing up in aculture where there is really
good food.
Missing Thanksgivings andmissing major meals during the
holidays that, that for me.
And we'd be like, what's yourhobby?
I'm like, eating Like, how isthat, not like I love spending,
what do you like to do when yougo out?
Like, eat with my friends.
(30:50):
And that's a, that's a focalpoint of just things that we do.
We love cooking, we lovespending time with each other.
for our wrestlers.
One thing that was reallyimportant was understanding that
we all have very diversebackgrounds and we come from
very different places.
So when a, when an athlete comesto me and they're like, Hey
coach, you know, I'm reallyclose to making weight.
what do you guys do?
I'm like, one, you definitelyhave to eat cuz you're gonna
perform tomorrow, right?
So I wanna make sure you go homeand you get fed.
(31:12):
What's, what's someone makingfree tonight?
Or what are you making fordinner?
What do you have at home?
You know, we assume that peoplecan just go out and buy all
these things to live thisnutritional lifestyle, but what
do you have at home?
So one of our, our kids wasEthiopian.
He's like, well, my mom's makinga stite.
And I was like, great.
Is it possible for her to takesome of that lamb aside?
and not put so much salt in itor put a lot less salt in it and
(31:33):
have that with some of thegreens versus having it with the
potatoes that will normally gowith it.
And he was like, great.
Absolutely.
So you messaged me.
Hey coach.
I had dinner just so you know,maybe wait.
I was That's awesome.
Like that is awesome.
And why is that?
Because they actually.
they ate, they were able toenjoy meal with their family.
They were able to enjoysomething that was comforting
(31:53):
for them and they were able toperform the next day.
But it was really kind of,again, that understanding of
where you're coming from, whatyour body is used to, having it,
to sustain it, and then makinglittle tweaks so you can
actually use that to enhanceyour performance.
So in this case, it's like, allright, I know my family loves
salt and salty foods.
Let's go ahead and remove thator reduce it and replace it with
something else.
That would help so that you caneat and you can.
Andy (32:18):
So you just were telling
us about comfort foods and then
transition to talking about withyour athletes, smart eating
which is better education thanwe had when we were doing it.
And cuz we basically dideverything wrong.
Right?
Just starvation and a lot ofother bad methods.
But another thing I'm curiousabout, do you sometimes just
tell your kids, Hey, eat somepizza.
(32:39):
Eat cake, have a cupcake, havesome ice cream.
You know, you need to, momentsof.
Bior (32:45):
Bliss.
Yeah, so we we're a no miss mealprogram, and so it's really
important to us that our, ourkids are fed, for a lot of our
kids, when they're going toschool, that's their main food
source.
For me it was the meals that Ididn't have to cook for myself.
So it was, it was nice to, tohave that, but we, it's better
to have that moment of thatcupcake or that pizza or, you
(33:10):
know, I think my favorite thingright now is like those fruit
gum.
We always have those on hand orthe oh my gosh, what are those?
Little sandwiches?
The Snackables or the crustbowls, the Uncrustables.
Just any, any little thingbecause that one moment isn't
gonna derail you.
Yep.
It's that constant constantly.
What's the word I'm looking forhere?
(33:30):
Neglecting yourself or tellingyourself?
No, when it comes to that onemoment that ends up becoming
that binge eating or that, thatshameful eating that ends up
happening.
So yeah, we will have a meat andwe will go out for pizza
afterwards, or we will,encourage if it's birthday, have
that cupcake, have that slice ofcake and most of the time just
(33:51):
eat what fuels you and that'sgonna look different for
everybody else.
Andy (33:55):
So to close out food in
this section, I'm gonna give you
one more chance to say, gimmeeither, what's your number two
to pizza?
We know pizza's the king.
it's gonna dominate everythingelse.
Right?
What's your number two and orwhat are you like a can I can
not, no way I'm eating that.
Can't.
Bior (34:13):
Oof.
All right.
I'll give you both.
My number two is a really goodburger.
Mm.
Because you can't really gowrong.
You can build it however youwant, but a really good burger
with bacon, cheddar, jalapeno,that's my Gotta get those.
However, yeah, the jalapenos,wherever I go.
Some things that I just can't, II just can't.
It's like anything that's tripe.
(34:34):
or gelatinous like that.
Mm-hmm.
I have a really hard time withwith that.
So I'm pretty open to anythingelse.
But if it's like tray, which is,which is a shame cause
Andy (34:44):
does that include Jello as
like Jello off the list?
No, jello.
Bior (34:48):
Jellos.
On the Jellos.
Good.
Jellos Good to go.
Cause it's a sweet, and it, it'sgreat.
But another big thing too is Ididn't really have American food
till we moved to the UnitedStates.
And even then, you're stilleating at home.
So it wasn't until maybe likemiddle school that I had like,
Box craft mac and cheese.
Mm-hmm.
Or hamburger helper, forgetabout it.
I will always go for a hamburgerhelper or even the, I try to
(35:13):
make my own tuna helper.
It's never the same.
But yeah, the, the little thingslike that, which I thought were
really cool, a canned soup oranything instant was never
something I had till I one and
Andy (35:23):
milk.
I love those type of things too.
The comfort foods that you havefrom growing up that even though
you know other things areactually better, like stuffing,
I absolutely love just you'restuffing out of the box, right?
Yeah.
Like that is my favorite.
And even though I know that thisfancy stuffing that, that people
(35:43):
are hand making and everything,and my wife likes to do that,
and it's like, okay, this isgreat and whatever, but it just
like, if you're asking me, gimmethat box of stove top and I
will, I could probably two fullboxes of stove top by myself in
a row.
If, even if I wasn't thinkingabout, hey, I should probably
shouldn't be heating this.
No problem I can do it.
Okay.
Bior (36:01):
It's like, I think it's
just associated with great
memories, you know.
But yeah, I, any, any time, likeyou said, box stove top and the
tuna helper, please help me findthis.
I cannot find tuna helperanywhere but I miss.
Andy (36:14):
All right, so let's take
us, obviously food I think is a
bit of fun for you, but let'stalk about fun in your life
today.
Let's talk.
What do you do for fun?
Food.
Bior (36:24):
No, Yeah.
I think self-care is my, mygo-to fun these days.
I mean, I love spending timewith my friends.
Really great connections.
I think beats a really goodconversation with someone,
right?
Where you can just talk aboutanything and everything.
Love sports.
Watching it, going to it,participating in it.
I'm in Boston.
It's a great sports town, butgrowing up in Connecticut, I'm
split.
(36:45):
I'm a Celtics Bruins girl, but Ilove my Yankees and my giants.
So that's been an interestingthing here.
But number, number one thing isI love sports and I love
watching good coaching, and itdoesn't matter what team that
is.
Hmm.
So I go to a lot of games andthen, like I said, just hanging
out with friends and self-care,I made it a point to.
(37:06):
Do simple things for myself thatjust bring me little bits of
joy.
So something as simple asgetting a manicure every other
week is something I'm prettyconsistent about because it's
like one little thing that makesme really happy.
And so finding more things likethat that just bring you these
little Bits of joy, that's foryourself and not just requiring
other people to, to be there forthat too.
Andy (37:27):
Yeah.
I had two questions for you onwhat you just said.
One is on the self-care, are wetalking about massages spot
days, things like that?
Or is and or is it just a dayaway for yourself to recuperate
and get back to, to level?
Bior (37:43):
What I love about now is
that there's a lot more.
Conversations about mentalhealth and taking time to really
understand what gives youenergy, what depletes your
energy, and so I am.
What people would say anextroverted introvert.
Like I mentioned before, whenpeople believe in me and wanna
(38:03):
talk to me, I'm all in.
I'm all for it.
But I, I do enjoy a lot of my metime and so I've learned that
sometimes I have to recharge mybattery.
That was a really great tool cuzgoing home to a really big
family for Thanksgiving.
There's a lot of people in thisspace.
I find my social battery gettingdrained super quickly and then
you get.
That hanger or the, annoyed orall those things that isn't
(38:27):
really fair to the people aroundyou, cuz it's reactive behavior
to you being drained.
So it was, it was great.
I think last Thanksgiving I waslike, Hey, I'm gonna take 20.
I just left.
I went to my room, or the room Iwas staying in, scrolled through
my phone for a couple minutes,did absolutely nothing, then
came back recharged.
So understanding that about methat I sometimes just need a
timeout or a break Right.
(38:48):
Was really great.
And I encourage that with myteam as well.
So we all talk about what arethings that we need?
Like we won't do meetings before10.
Because we're just not, there'sa lot of things we wanna get
done or we keep meetings to onlylike so long.
Or if some people can worklonger together, we we'll
respect that and honor that.
So it's really understandingwhat my limits are.
Hmm.
And then taking time to torespect that for myself too.
(39:12):
And facials.
I love facials.
So yeah, mans facials, timealone.
And I'm about to pop into likeletter Kenny just came out, so
I'm gonna go watch the wholeseason afternoon, you know,
Andy (39:25):
so, it was, I'm really
interesting to hear you say that
you do this for your team,right?
For your working team.
And I was gonna ask if you didit also for the kids, you preach
this to them.
Hey guys, take your minute away.
Maybe even notice when one ofyour kids is a little on edge
and say, Hey, may, maybe youneeded some time.
Bior (39:43):
Yeah, we, a lot of what we
do at the organization is really
teaching kids how tocommunicate.
And so they come in, we do ourcheck-ins, like justify how
you're feeling.
They'll do a quick journal, wehave a theme for the day, a
quote or something that's reallyimpactful, but we wanna hear
what it means to them, not whatit means to us.
And so we have them write thatdown.
I ask those three questions Imentioned earlier about how
(40:04):
many.
Glasses of water, are theyhaving, how many hours of sleep?
and how many balanced meal itemsare you having?
Just cuz you know what, howthey're physically coming to a
space, how they're mentallycoming into a space.
Mm-hmm.
And then at the end we alwaysrecap with everyone goes around,
what is something you'velearned?
Something you're proud of and ashout out to a teammate or
someone else.
(40:24):
And the learn and shout out endsup being really easy for them,
but something they're proud of.
Mm-hmm.
Was something that you saw a lotof kids struggle with at first,
but because it's ingrained inour culture It's really
wonderful.
So we travel a lot.
We went to Chicago and at theend of this like really intense
camp that they had, every daywe'd have 40 kids, like go
(40:44):
around each kid talk about thosethings and what's affecting
them.
And it was really wonderful forthem to be able to articulate
their needs and what they'regoing through and learn that
their teammates were goingthrough very similar things.
And then watch them learn andsupport each other.
Yeah.
So we give them that space.
We always have like a.
Like I end up being the timeoutperson cuz.
My body's done.
(41:05):
So I have really great coaches,really awesome coaches that love
me on the mat With the kids, Iusually be working to the side
or at least kind of narratingwhat I think we need to fill the
gaps in.
But we have a person, a buddy,and I usually end up being that
buddy or a kid needs to step offa mat or recharge or sit down.
There's no judgment, noquestions asked except for, are
you okay?
Right.
So you'll see kids bounce outfor five, 10 minutes, maybe
(41:28):
mentally recharged, jump backin, you'll see them get some
water.
So sometimes it's one kid,sometimes it's 15 of'em, you
know?
And when it gets to that point,you as a coach are like, all
right, well then I think we needto figure out like a team break
for today.
So during that camp we decided,okay, let's go out to eat and
really spend some time togetherand enjoy each other's company.
And then we'll come back to thisreally intensive camp with 11
(41:48):
other beat the streets cities.
So definitely it's.
I've learned a lot from our ownprogramming and I bring that
back into my life and back intoour team, and so it's kinda like
practicing what you preach.
And so our programs are mattime, which is mentoring,
advocacy, and training.
Wrestle her, which I mentioned,which is our girls leadership
development.
(42:09):
CITs as coaches in training, butthat's actually more of that
leadership development,entrepreneurship.
Our kids are just as well versedin coaching as our coaches and
often end up being team leadersand team captains.
They do like 150 hours oftraining.
Mm-hmm.
And then wrestle back, which ismy favorite.
And we all know this, if you ata tournament, you get dropped
outta con, you have to wrestleback.
The best you can do is third.
(42:31):
More matches than that personwho's winning.
Oftentimes emotionalrollercoaster, sometimes it's
easier to go on to and get outof there.
But a wrestle bat kid, these areour kids with the highest level
of trauma.
They're coming out of juvenilesystem, long-term foster care
and things like that.
So we've provide extra supportand connections with clinical
case management and things likethat.
So all four programs are, arebased on just that.
(42:51):
It's what we need to know aboutourselves and how we communicate
to.
Be the best version of ourselvesand be able to pursue whatever
we want in life.
And wrestling is the activitythat we choose to, to pursue
Andy (43:02):
this through.
Yeah, this is, it's reallyimpressive what you're doing.
I gotta say, the more you talk,the more impressed I am with
what you're doing.
It's, it's not just wrestling.
This is so much more than that.
And I think it's probably what'sattracting so many kids to this,
because you're building acommunity and it's a community
of wellness.
You know, if I took it up to ahigher level, it's not, It's not
(43:26):
really a wrestling program.
I think in a lot of ways this isa youth wellness program and I
think it's awesome.
And not to, not to just jumpright outta that, but I still
wanted to hit you with my parttwo of the question when you
talked about what's fun for youas a sports fan and you said,
you really love sports, so Iwanna know, are you the
passionate fan?
Are you the one that's yelling,cheering, making a lot of noise?
(43:48):
No, that's not you.
No,
Bior (43:50):
I'm more of the I'm very
observant.
Here's the thing.
This is, this is how I knew, Icould never be a sports parent
because if I get overly into itas even as a coach, when you get
that emotional attachment,right, when you're really root
for your kids, I cannot handlethat emotional rollercoaster of
watching them win and lose.
(44:13):
In in a way that I don't evenknow how to describe it.
It's like I emotionally get intoit, and so for me to be able to
really enjoy it, I have to watchsports through a coaching lens
or through almost anadministrative lens.
I remember the first time I wentto a Bruins game, I was like,
well, I have to sit behind thehome bench.
(44:34):
No problem, let's make thishappen.
And I just remember like one,it's hard to see the game cuz
you're literally sitting behindthe athletes, so you're watching
it on the screen.
But I remember just being sointrigued by watching the
coaches, how they were pullingon the back of the jerseys to
change the line.
Mm-hmm.
And wanting to know everythingabout that.
I'm like, how do they know whothey're going for?
It's the same person, when doyou change the line?
(44:55):
What's a good time to change theline?
So it come from a very learningpoint because, you get really
attached to your teams andwatching them win is great.
Watching them lose is tough.
And so I always come at it fromwell, okay, what do we do really
well?
What could we do better?
And I'm never one to Say oh,this person sucks.
I'm like, do they?
Because they're a professionalathlete.
(45:16):
Right.
You know, and you know what ittook, hopefully, you know what
it took for them to get there.
They're having a bad day, ormaybe it's time for them to
transition out.
But I, I could never look atsomeone who's putting that much
time, effort, energy into theirlivelihood.
And then you find out how manygames they play, baseball's
what, 164 games or hundred 65games?
Right.
I had no idea.
Like hockey and basketball was82 games, 41 home, 41 on the
(45:37):
road.
Then you really start looking atthat schedule and you're like,
that is intense.
Mm-hmm.
That is crazy.
Yeah.
I'm like, all right, well, Iguess if I got paid that much,
I'd do it too.
But I really look at it frommore of a, Like in awe of the
fact that these athletes areable to do what they do, and
then watching the coaches kindof orchestrate this.
(45:58):
And so it's all just reallyimpressive to me.
I geek out on sports, you know.
Andy (46:02):
I love that you gave such
a unique answer to that and
I've, I've loved this wholeconversation's been fun to come
back and relive some things andhave some eye-opening
experiences on what's happeningin, in today's world, but we've,
we've come to the point wherewe're at the capstone, right?
Just simply say, Hey, fitness,food, and fun.
(46:23):
What do you think about thoseelements together, separately
and just in general?
What are your perspectives onthem?
Bior (46:30):
I mean, I think that all
three of those things together
is, is the way of life, right?
Like you.
Need to take care of yourself.
And that's where fitness andfood comes in.
And a lot of people have joythrough fitness and food, you
know, whether it's through gamesor cooking or, or enjoying that.
And that's where the fun comesin.
So I love that those three arelike part of one because they
(46:51):
really are what makes makes mein my happy place.
And I, I love seeing thosethings come together for a lot
of people and brings a lot ofpeople together, hopefully for
the good.
Sometimes not so great, right?
When you have like reallyintense fans or you have a
really bad meal.
Or things stop being fun.
But putting'em together is, is areally great way to be.
Andy (47:10):
Well, in closing, I just
want to say that thank you again
for taking the time to join me.
I really appreciate it.
It was great reconnecting, and Ithink you're doing amazing
things.
I'm really impressed, and I, andI hope that your team is giving
you reverse feedback on, youknow, all the positive
influences that you're, you'redoing and then you're, you're
(47:31):
superiors are, are, are doingthat as well.
And then at the same time, thekids are are giving that back to
you.
I, I used to say, When I wascoaching that, The best thing
that I ever got was thank yousfrom the kids.
You know, again, the moneywasn't much, but it, I didn't
care about it.
And the only thing that reallymattered was when you said a
thank you, especially when itwas at the, someone was
(47:51):
graduating and they came andshowed you your appreciation.
So I really hope you're gettingthat as well.
And if there's anything you'dlike to talk about with Beat the
Streets right now, a plug or aconnection, anything like, Feel
free to
Bior (48:05):
let it go.
Yeah.
Well, two things.
I, I hope you realize just howbig of an influence you were in
my life, right.
In that team at N F A.
So I think it's cool you get tosee it kind of come full circle
like a, as adults.
So that was, that was huge forme.
And it really does shape the waythat I think I coach today and,
and we are today.
Like, just remembering, I neverremember the bad.
(48:26):
You always remember thepositives, hopefully, right?
You remember the positive and Ithink you just choose like a lot
of things, but for Beat theStreets, it's, it's such a great
organization.
I'm, and I'm obviously not.
Not not biased, but it's reallyamazing to be able to give back.
And I'm excited that we are inBoston.
We're in Providence.
We're launching at Hartford.
(48:46):
We plan on being in eight citiesacross New England.
And, you know, it's a nationwideorganization, so if you go to
bts n e.org, you can definitelycome see what we're doing, how
we're doing it.
If you're interested in having aBeat Streets in your area in New
England and beyond, like you candefinitely connect on the
website and.
We're happy to come have thoseconversations, but our goal is
to give kids a fighting chance.
(49:08):
We use wrestling and you know,hopefully help bring back a lot
of those wrestling varsityprograms as well while
Andy (49:14):
we're doing that.
And one other thing, just, Iwanna put this out there.
We'll put links in everythingfor, for Beat the Streets and
Soba.
You mentioned I think before wecame on, that you're hiring for
somebody in Hartford at, at agreat salary.
So anybody that's interested inbeing able to do wrestling
(49:35):
coaching as your profession,there's a great opportunity
coming up in.
Bior (49:40):
Absolutely.
And it's, it's incredible.
We are fortunate enough to givepeople full-time opportunities
at a very competitive wage thatcomes with benefits, 401ks, and
actually say that you, you know,wrestling is your life.
We're basically providing peoplewith something that you don't
typically get outside of likeCollegiate or US teen wrestling,
(50:00):
and you get to give back toyoung people, which is really.
Yeah,
Andy (50:03):
it was, like I said, it
would've been my dream to take
something like this at, at thetime that I was coaching, so I
hope somebody, you find somebodygreat through this and one, one
last time.
Thank you very much.
Bior (50:15):
Thank you.
It's been a pleasure being on.